


Wait For Me To Come Home

by lostariels



Series: Home [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Military, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Army, F/F, Fluff and Angst, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 76
Words: 287,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9982031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostariels/pseuds/lostariels
Summary: By a chance encounter, Lena meets Kara, a soldier home on leave as she waits for her next deployment, at a local coffee shop one afternoon.As they start talking, Lena feels drawn to Kara; there's something about her warmth and openness that fills the gap left by Lena's troubled childhood.They grow close over the next few months, falling for each other as they spend more time together.But Kara's deployment is inevitable, and with promises that she'll come home, Lena waits for her.





	1. Chapter 1

            She was sat in the café typing away at her laptop, a coffee close at hand. Lena rarely left her office on her lunch break, preferring to eat at her desk, but today she had been restless and decided to go for a walk. Her stomach was rumbling by the time she had walked off her frustration, and she had walked into the first café she had seen.

 

            After ordering her coffee and a bagel, she’d parked herself down at the table by the window, basking in the sunlight that filtered in through the blinds. As she sat there, the café filled with people, their conversation falling into the background as Lena concentrated on her work.

 

            “Excuse me?”

 

            Lena looked up at the sound of someone talking to her, raising one of her eyebrows. A girl stood before her, fidgeting as she nervously smiled at Lena.

 

            “Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you but all the other tables were full and I was wondering if I could sit here, I mean, if this seat’s not already taken,” she rambled nervously, pushing her glasses up her nose.

 

            Lena blinked at the girl in surprise, before looking around the room. Every table was packed with people; friends chatting, college students studying, mothers with their screaming children. She realised the girl was still waiting for an answer.

 

            “Oh, of course,” Lena said, pulling the files and paperwork towards her, clearing the other half for the girl. She was shocked, Lena knew she wasn’t the most approachable person in the room.

 

            The girl sat down, the chair scraping along the floor as she pulled herself in. She brought out a book and flipped it open to a page with a dog-eared corner, reading quietly as she tried not to disturb Lena.

 

            Lena sneaked peeks at her as she read. She had golden hair, pulled into a braid, and her eyes were a deep blue behind her glasses. A crease formed between her eyebrows as she concentrated on the book. When the barista brought the girl’s coffee over she looked up, an easy smile appearing on her face as she thanked him. Her eyes caught Lena’s as she took a sip of her latte. Quickly busying herself, Lena stared at the screen of her laptop.

 

            “I like your necklace,” the girl said, pointing to the little pendent around Lena’s neck.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena curtly replied, typing away at her keyboard.

 

            “Where did you get it?” the girl asked.

 

            Lena hated being disturbed when she was working, but something about the open expression and warm smile on this stranger’s face gave Lena a weird feeling in her stomach, in place of the usual irritation she would have felt.

 

            “It was a gift off my brother for my sixteenth birthday,” Lena answered, her hand reaching up to touch the pendent. She wore it every day to remember her brother, as a reminder to not follow in his footsteps.

 

            “It’s really pretty,” the girl smiled.

 

            Lena gave her a small smile in return, the corner of her lips curling slightly.

 

            “Oh, I’m Kara by the way,” the girl introduced herself, holding a hand out towards Lena.

 

            “Lena,” she replied, taking the warm hand and shaking it slightly.

 

            “So what are you working on Lena?” Kara asked, resting her chin on her hand as she put her book down, keeping track of the page with one finger.

 

            “Paperwork,” Lena told her, as she checked one of the files and compared it to what she was looking at on screen. Making a few corrections on the paper, she looked up at Kara. She was staring at Lena, a sheepish smile on her face.

 

            “Sorry, I’m disturbing you,” she whispered loudly, “sometimes I get carried away and talk too much.”

 

            Lena smiled, closing her laptop and putting her pen down. She raised an eyebrow at Kara, who was still looking a bit embarrassed; her cheeks were pink as she drank her coffee to shut herself up.

 

            “It’s fine, I’ve been staring at numbers all day,” Lena told her, picking up her own coffee. It was cold by now, long forgotten as she’d read document after document.

 

            “What do you do?” Kara asked, the question rolling off her tongue before she could stop herself.

 

            “I work for my family’s company,” Lena explained, not getting into the details of it. She wasn’t one to brag, especially not with her family’s reputation. It was actually a miracle that Kara hadn’t recognised her straight away with all the recent publicity around her company.

 

            “And what do you do?” Lena asked, delicately arching an eyebrow as she tilted her head and observed Kara. She was a bubbly person, overflowing with positivity and happiness. Lena assumed she’d have a job to match; perhaps a primary school teacher. With her pastel pink sweater and collared shirt, she looked like the kind of person who would like kids.

 

            “Oh, um, military,” Kara said, “I’m in the army, a sergeant.”

 

            Lena’s eyebrows shot up, she hadn’t been expecting that answer. Kara saw the surprise on her face and shrugged.

 

            “Yeah I know, I don’t look like the soldier type,” she smiled at Lena.

 

            “So you’re home on leave then?” Lena asked.

 

            She didn’t know why she was asking; she normally avoided conversation with people. There was something about Kara though, and Lena felt herself drawn to her. Maybe it was her warmth, she exuded it like she was a miniature sun in human form.

 

            “Yeah, I got back from Afghanistan a few days ago, I’m staying with my sister,” Kara beamed at Lena, buzzing with excitement as she thought about the time she would get to spend with her sister before her next deployment.

 

            “It must be so different being home,” Lena murmured, trying to put herself in Kara’s place. Not that Lena would have had a real home to come back to if she joined the army; she didn’t even have a real family.

 

            “Well they definitely don’t do lattes this good in the army,” Kara joked, holding up her empty cup as she smiled. Lena smiled too.

 

            “Excuse me for a second,” Lena said, standing up and joining the back of the queue. She placed in an order for a cappuccino for herself and another latte for Kara before going to sit back down.

 

             They chatted away, subconsciously leaning towards each other across the table. It wasn’t until the barista came over with the coffee that they realised just how close they were to each other. Straightening up, Lena cleared her throat.

 

              “Cappuccino?” the guy asked, setting down in front of Lena as she nodded.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena replied.

 

            “And the latte,” he said, putting it down in front of Kara and taking their empty cups.

 

            “Oh sorry, this isn’t- I didn’t order this,” Kara said to the guy as he walked off, not hearing her protests.

 

            “It’s my treat,” Lena told her, picking up her own coffee and taking a sip.

 

            Kara smiled, her nose wrinkling and her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.”

 

            “It’s nothing,” Lena waved away Kara’s gratitude, “you should make the most of good coffee whilst you’re home.”

 

            Kara rummaged through her bag and came out with an old polaroid camera. She snapped a quick picture of her coffee and waited for the instant film to print. Hiding it in the darkness of her bag, Kara waited for the photo to appear, smiling down at the snap of the latte with its perfect leaf coffee art on top.

 

            Lena watched her with a bemused smile on her face, her eyebrows slightly raised.

 

            “I like to take pictures,” Kara mumbled shyly, as she met Lena’s eyes, “you never really appreciate the small things until you don’t have them every day.”

 

            Lena’s gaze softened as she listened to Kara explain.

 

\---       

 

            They talked for hours, losing track of time as they sat by the window, ordering cup after cup of coffee. Lena hadn’t meant to stay that long, but she found herself glued to her seat, hooked on every word as Kara talked.

 

            Kara broke off mid-sentence with a gasp, “the lighting, it’s perfect!”

 

            Lena looked out the window, the sun blinding her as it shone right in her eyes as it started to set over the city. Kara scrambled for her camera again, holding it up as she gave Lena an apologetic look.

 

            “Would you mind if I took your photo?” Kara asked, a look of uncertainty on her face as she waited for Lena’s approval.

 

            “Oh, um, okay,” Lena said, blinking in surprise as she looked at Kara.

 

            Beaming, Kara brought the camera up to her eye, snapping a picture of Lena. She waited for the picture to appear and smiled down at it. Her eyes sparkled as she held it out for Lena to see.

 

            The sun filtered in, hitting one side of Lena’s hair and leaving the rest of her in the shadows. Her face was all sharp lines and hard edges, but there was a slight smile curling the corners of her lips and her eyes softened as she looked at Kara.

 

            “Perfect,” Kara proclaimed, looking down at it again as Lena handed it back to her. She tucked it carefully between the pages of her book, and put it in her bag.

 

            “Well I should probably get going, I’m supposed to be meeting my sister and her girlfriend for dinner,” Kara said, checking her watch for the time.

 

            Lena nodded, packing up her own things. She had to get back to the office, she’d stayed far too long.

 

            They walked outside together, lingering outside the door as they tried to prolong the moment. Kara had an uncertain look on her face as she fought with whether or not she should say what was on her mind.

 

            “What is it?” Lena asked, frowning slightly.

 

            “Maybe, if you’re not busy, we could see each other again before I go back?” She turned it into a question, waiting for Lena to answer.

 

            She plucked Kara’s phone out of her hands and added her number to Kara’s contacts. She handed it back to her with a smile, “call me when you’re free.”

 

            Kara smiled and said goodbye.

 

            Lena watched her retreating figure making its way down the sidewalk. A faint smile played on her lips; there was something about Kara. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she had made Lena forget about everything for a few hours. It was like she had been under Kara’s spell and forgotten all of her responsibilities.

 

            For the first time in forever, Lena had felt free.


	2. Chapter 2

            It wasn’t until a week later that Lena received a call off Kara. The sun was just setting and Lena had just sent her assistant home for the day. She would most likely be here all night working on paperwork, there was no need for her to make everyone else stay with her. Her phone started vibrating on her desk, an unknown number on the screen.

 

            “Hello,” Lena answered, her tone betraying her irritation at being disturbed from her work.

 

_“Lena?”_

 

            The bubbly voice coming through was unmistakeable, and Lena straightened up in her chair, clearing her throat slightly.

 

            “Kara, hi,” Lena replied in a much warmer tone. A slow smile spread across her face as Kara’s face popped into her mind.

 

_“I know it’s a bit last minute, but I was thinking about catching a movie if you’d like to come, it’s okay if you’re busy though, we can catch up another time.”_

 

            Lena smiled as she listened to Kara ramble, trying to butt in a few times but not being able to stop Kara from talking. Eventually Kara trailed off, realising she was talking too much.

 

            “I’d love to see a movie with you, I’m just about to leave the office,” Lena said, closing down her laptop.

 

            She wasn’t, obviously, but she liked Kara. Lena was a bit confused about that; how could she like a girl she’d only met once for a couple of hours? Yet, here she was, leaving work early for the first time in forever, feeling herself drawn to Kara just from the sound of her talking. It was like she was a siren, reeling Lena in with her voice.

 

_“Great, I’ll meet you outside the cinema on thirty-third street,”_ Kara’s excited voice came through on the other end.

 

            Lena hung up the phone, smiling as she saved Kara’s number to her phone. Collecting her bag and coat, she walked out of her office, calling her driver to bring the car around as she got in the elevator.

 

\---

 

            Lena’s driver opened her car door and helped her out. She spotted Kara standing outside, alternating between looking down at her phone and scanning the faces of the people walking past. As Lena walked closer, Kara recognised her and a wide smiled broke out on her face.

 

            “Lena, hi!” she beamed, moving to meet Lena halfway. She wrapped Lena in a hug, pulling back as Lena stiffened underneath her touch.

 

            “Oh, sorry, I should’ve asked first,” Kara apologised, realising that she had overstepped Lena’s boundaries.

 

            Lena waved away Kara’s apology, “no, no, it’s fine, I just … wasn’t expecting that.”

 

            Under normal circumstances, Lena would hate anyone touching her. Her demeanour was usually cold, her icy stare keeping people away and settling for handshakes. Kara’s hug was different though, Lena didn’t realise how much she had craved the warmth of someone else’s touch until Kara had wrapped her in a tight hug. It had taken her by surprise, and her natural instinct had been to close herself off. Now she wished she hadn’t.

 

            “So what movie did you want to see?” Lena asked, trying to dispel the awkwardness of the situation.

 

            Kara’s expression brightened up immediately. “So the new Wolverine film, Logan, is out, if you like superhero movies, or we can see something else if you don’t.”

 

            “No, the Wolverine movie sounds great,” Lena told Kara, one corner of her mouth tugging up in a smile as she watched Kara’s smile grow wider.

 

            “Great!” Kara exclaimed, looking down at her watch. “It should be starting soon; do you want to head in? The popcorn here is great.”

 

            They queued up, and Lena listened to Kara tell stories about her friends from her squadron and her adoptive sister Alex. Lena hid her surprise when Kara mentioned she was adopted, they both had that in common.

 

            Once they got to the front, Kara asked for two tickets to the movie before turning to face Lena.

 

            “Do you want popcorn? A drink?” she asked.

 

            “Popcorn would be great, and just a water please,” Lena directed her words to the girl behind the till.

 

            “One large popcorn, with extra butter, a bottle of water and a watermelon slurpee please,” Kara beamed at the cashier.

 

            Lena was surprised her face didn’t hurt from all the smiling she did. It was like she couldn’t help herself, Lena had never seen someone smile so much in all her life. She didn’t even think she’d smiled this much in the past year.

 

            Kara pulled her purse out and Lena blinked in surprise as she pulled out some money, intending to pay for them both.

 

            “Wha- no, please, it’s my treat,” Lena said, stopping Kara from handing the money over.

 

            “It’s no problem, really,” Kara said, smiling at Lena.

 

            “That’s kind of you, but I insist really,” Lena returned Kara’s smile, handing over her credit card before Kara could protest.

 

            Kara thanked Lena, smiling as she picked up the popcorn and her slurpee. Lena picked up her water and the tickets in one hand, her other hand drifting to Kara’s lower back as she guided them towards the guy checking the tickets.

 

            They found seats in the back row, settling into their seats in the dark cinema. They talked quietly as they waited for the screen to come on. Kara sipped her slurpee too fast and gave herself brain freeze as the screen lit up the theatre. Lena bit back a smile as she looked at Kara’s face, her eyes squeezed shut and her nose wrinkling.

 

            “Brain freeze,” she whispered loudly to Lena, her lips stained pink from the slurpee as she smiled.

 

\---

 

            Lena found it hard to watch the movie when she was so aware of Kara sat next to her. Kara also happened to be one of those people who asked a thousand questions whilst they watched movies, even though Lena hadn’t even seen it herself and knew just as much as Kara.

 

            Still, she didn’t mind. She couldn’t remember the last time she had done something normal. This was what normal people did, they went to the cinema with their friends. Not that Lena had much experience with friends, but now she realised what she had been missing out on.

 

            After the movie finished they walked outside. It was dark outside, and the streetlights lit up the city along with the lights from all the restaurants and clubs lining the street.

 

            “Are you hungry?” Kara asked Lena as they stood outside the cinema.

 

            She looked hopeful in the light of the cinema, like she wanted Lena to say she was just so she could spend more time with her. Lena hadn’t eaten dinner yet, and she wasn’t ready for the night to be over yet either.

 

            “Sure,” she replied, a fluttering feeling in her stomach as Kara smiled widely at her.

 

            “Good, because I know the best place for hotdogs in the whole city,” Kara said enthusiastically. She held out a hand for Lena to take, buzzing with excitement about the idea of sharing her favourite hotdogs with someone.

 

            Lena slowly put her hand in Kara’s and let her lace their fingers together before she pulled Lena after her. They walked through the city hand in hand, weaving in and out of the crowd of late night shoppers, people rushing home from work, and employees holding signs advertising their restaurant.

 

            They stopped in front of a food truck, and joined the back of the queue. Lena looked around, waiting to see where Kara was taking them, before she realised that they were in line for the food truck. Kara ordered them a hotdog each, insisting on paying this time as Lena tried to hand over her credit card.

 

            They walked slowly through the city, wandering wherever they decided to go. Lena had never been in this part of the city. Minimarts and all night diners lined the streets and alleyways overflowed with rubbish. It was different to the clean and polished part of the city Lena was used to, with its five star restaurants and high-end designer clothes stores.

 

            “So, what do you think?” Kara asked, raising her eyebrows at Lena as she took another bite out of her hotdog. Lena stared blankly at Kara, not understanding the question.

 

            “Is it the best hotdog you’ve ever had or not? Because if it’s not, you _have_ to take me there,” Kara smiled at Lena as she spoke.

 

            “Oh, yeah it’s the best,” Lena gave Kara a small smile, then she let out a little laugh, “to be honest, it’s actually the only hotdog I’ve ever had.”

 

            “What! How have you never had a hotdog before!?” Kara exclaimed, raising her eyebrows in surprise as she looked at Lena in shock. Clearly she took her hotdogs seriously.

 

            Lena shrugged, a bit embarrassed to admit it, “my mom didn’t really let us eat junk food, she didn’t think it was appropriate for us high and mighty people to eat normal people’s food.” Lena rolled her eyes, taking a bite out of the hotdog. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what was in it, but it tasted good.

 

            “Not even at like a baseball game?” Kara asked, her eyebrows raising even higher.

 

            Lena laughed, “I’ve never been to one of those either.”

 

            Kara shook her head in disbelief, "what kind of American hasn't been to a baseball game?"

 

            "Well actually, I'm technically Irish," Lena told her, arching one eyebrow and smirking up at Kara.

 

            “Oh, well then ... but I’m getting us tickets to the next game,” she told Lena, a serious look on her face. Apparently she took baseball seriously too.

 

            Lena smiled hoping that Kara meant it. She found it so easy to talk to Kara, she wore her heart on her sleeve and Lena found it endearing that she was so trusting. She was the complete opposite of Lena, and yet, Lena felt so drawn to her. Perhaps that was why.

 

            She stared at Kara as she talked, eating her hotdog. There was a little bit of mustard at the corner of her mouth, and Lena wanted to reach out and wipe it away.

 

            “You, um, you have a little bit of-,” Lena pointed to the corner of her own mouth, biting her lip to stop herself from smiling as Kara’s cheeks turned pink and she wiped at her mouth, completely missing the sauce.

 

            “Here,” Lena murmured, taking her own napkin and wiping at the corner of Kara’s mouth.

 

            “Thanks,” Kara smiled shyly, scrunching her nose up as she looked down at Lena. Behind the lenses of her glasses, Lena noticed that Kara’s eyes were incredibly blue in the fluorescent light of the nearest shop.

 

            “You’re welcome,” Lena smiled slightly.

 

\---

 

            She’d had her driver drop Kara off at her sister’s apartment before taking her home. They’d sat side by side in the back of the car, Lena hyperaware of Kara’s arm pressed against her own, their knees knocking together from the motion of the car.

 

            Kara said goodnight, smiling at Lena as she thanked her for the night and promised to let her know about the baseball game.

 

            Instead of getting back to work once she got in, Lena found herself reading in the lamplight of her home office, a cup of black coffee clutched in her other hand. At least, she was trying to read, but she couldn’t stop thinking about Kara. Lena could feel herself going soft, the ice queen persona she put on slowing melting the more time she spent with Kara. What kind of person was she to reduce the cold, logical Lena Luthor into a smiling, silly girl? She hadn’t even been like this as a teenager, there was no room for it in her family.

 

            Sighing, Lena gave up on reading after she realised she’d read the first line three times over. Closing the book, she downed the rest of her coffee and went to bed.

 

            She dreamt of blue eyes and a laugh like sunshine, filling her with warmth and love. Lena couldn’t remember the last time she had dreamt, but in the morning she distinctly remembered those beautiful blue eyes, and found herself humming in shower as she got ready for work.

 

            Already Kara was affecting her, changing the way she viewed the world. Lena wouldn’t admit it to herself, but she liked Kara, a lot. It seemed silly to say that after knowing her for slightly over a week, and having only spent a handful of hours with each other. But here she was, incapable of thinking about anything or anyone other than Kara.

 

            And that was just the beginning.


	3. Chapter 3

            Saturday morning, Lena was working from her home office. Getting up from behind her desk, she padded barefoot to the kitchen to make herself another cup of coffee. Walking back into her office, she sat back behind her desk and picked up her phone.

 

            There was a missed call from Kara. Lena straightened up, pressing dial on her number and pressing the phone to her ear.

 

 _“Hey!”_ Kara’s cheerful voice came through the phone.

 

            “Sorry I was making coffee, I didn’t hear my phone,” Lena apologised, propping her chin up on her hand.

 

 _“No problem, I just wanted to see what you were up to,”_ Kara replied, and Lena could picture her clearly, smiling widely for no reason at all.

 

            “Nothing important,” Lena said, all thoughts about her work momentarily forgotten.

 

_“Well if you’re not busy tonight, I was thinking we could go to the carnival, they have the best toffee apples there and I’ve really been craving them lately, but if you already have plans that’s cool too.”_

            Lena sat there listening to Kara babble, wondering if she always talked this much or just when she got excited. Eventually she managed to cut in when Kara paused for some air.

 

            “That sounds great,” Lena told her, “shall we meet there or would you like a ride?”

 

 _“Oh no, it’s fine, I wouldn’t want you to go out of your way, we can meet there,”_ Kara replied.

 

            Lena frowned slightly, “it’s no trouble, really. Do you have a car?”

 

 _“Well no, but I can get a cab,”_ Kara replied, her voice bright as she started getting excited about tonight.

 

            “I’ll pick you up, I insist,” Lena told her, “shall we say six?”

 

 _“Six is perfect,”_ Kara practically sang into the phone, “ _do you remember where I live?”_

 

            “Of course,” Lena smiled slightly.

 

 _“I’ll see you later then!”_ Kara said, her voice full of excitement.

 

            As the line went dead Lena picked up her coffee, taking a sip as she leant back in her chair with a thoughtful expression on her face. What did one wear to a carnival?

 

\---

 

            At five to six in the night, Lena’s driver pulled up outside Kara’s apartment building. Kara was already waiting outside, a coat draped over one arm. She was dressed casually, a plaid shirt tucked into her pants, her hair up in a bun. Lena looked down at her clothes self-consciously, she'd settled for the most casual thing she could think of; a shirt and a pair of pants with a coat buttoned over the top to keep away the chill. Her smile was radiant as she walked over to Lena’s car, sliding into the back.

 

            “Hi!” she beamed, as she buckled her seatbelt in.

 

            “Hello,” Lena smiled slightly, her face full of shadows in the dim light of the car, “how are you?”

 

            “I’m great! How are you?” Kara asked, smiling widely at Lena.

 

            “Good, thank you for asking,” she replied, watching Kara’s nose crinkle as she smiled.

 

            They sat mostly in silence as Lena’s driver drove them to the carnival near the pier. Occasionally Kara would burst out with a random though, or comment on something outside the car window and Lena would murmur a reply. She had never been one for small talk, and was content to watch Kara people watch, enjoying the childlike wonder she hadn’t left behind.

 

            As they pulled up outside of the pier, Lena opened the door, telling her driver she’d call him later to pick them up as she slid out. They walked through the entrance to the carnival and Lena took in the madness around them. Her face was a mask of indifference, but inside she was awed at the games, the smell of greasy food, the sounds of people screaming in delight. She paid for a roll of tickets for them both at the booth.

 

            “Where did you want to go first?” Kara asked, pulling Lena’s attention away from the carnival. She was practically buzzing with excitement as she smiled at Lena.

 

            “What’s your favourite ride?” Lena asked, letting Kara choose, after all, she was the reason why Lena had come. Usually she wouldn’t have ever thought of coming to a place like this, she had always been too mature for her age to partake in normal fun things.

 

            “The bumper cars!” Kara beamed, grabbing Lena’s hand and dragging her through the crowd, weaving in and out of people until she stopped in front of the bumper cars.

 

            Lena looked at them doubtfully, she wasn’t much of a driver, she’d always had someone to drive her everywhere. Her eyes widened slightly as she watched a man ram his car into another one as he laughed.

 

            “Is this safe?” she asked Kara, a look of uncertainty on her face.

 

            “Yeah, it’s fun, come on,” Kara assured her, taking her hand again and dragging her over to the entry.

 

            They climbed into their own cars, Lena somewhat wary as she sat down on the vinyl covered seat and looked at the peddles by her feet. Kara had jumped into hers excitedly and shot off into the middle of the ring.

 

            Lena followed suit at a slower pace, and keeping away from the pile-up of cars in the centre, bumping into each other as their drivers fought to bump them out of the way.

 

            Kara smiled as she watched a teenaged boy ram his car into Lena’s, earning a scowl and a shouted curse off Lena as he sped off. She soon got into the hang of things, cautiously bumping into other people’s cars, and learning not to get too angry as others rammed into her.

 

            After they got off, Kara bounced over to Lena, laughing as she pushed her glasses up her nose.

 

            “How fun was that!” she asked, grinning like a little kid.

 

            One side of Lena’s mouth pulled up in a lopsided smile, “it was … actually quite fun.”

 

            “What do you want to go on next?” Kara asked, fidgeting excitedly as she looked at Lena with shining eyes. “There’s a ferris wheel if you’re not scared of heights, or the spinning teacups!”

 

            She let out a gasp before she said the teacups, and Lena assumed that it was another one of Kara’s favourite rides. “The teacups sound fun,” Lena agreed, her stomach fluttering slightly at the big smile that spread on Kara’s face.

 

            They sat in one of the tiny teacups and held on tightly as it spun in dizzying circles. Lena was thankful that she hadn’t eaten dinner yet, or she was sure it would’ve come up as everything blurred together. That would’ve been embarrassing, she didn’t know Kara well enough to be sick all over her.

 

            They got off the ride and Kara let out an excited gasp as something else caught her attention. She took Lena by her elbow and guided her over to a machine. It was a love tester machine and Lena let out a little laugh as Kara inserted a quarter.

 

            “Hold on to the handle,” Kara commanded her, gripping the other one in her hand tightly. Lena followed her instructions and watched as the lights lit up the screen, flashing up the scale, all the way to the top.

 

            “True love!” Kara beamed, turning to look at Lena, who felt her heart quicken.

 

            “You know they measure the temperature of your hands to come up with an answer,” Lena blurted out. Trying to hide her nerves as Kara smiled at her.

 

            “Or, it’s meant to be,” Kara teased, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiled.

 

            Lena let out a small laugh, Kara was always so optimistic it was a bit unnerving. No one could be that happy all the time. Then Lena thought about Kara in the army, stationed in the middle of God knows where with nothing but her sunny personality to keep her going. It made sense. She was compensating for whatever she had seen out there. Lena felt sad all of a sudden.

 

            Kara didn’t notice her inner turmoil as she gently placed her hand on Lena’s back, guiding her to the next ride she wanted to go on.

 

            After they had used up all of the tickets and rode every ride in there, Kara pointed to a food truck selling different candy. Lena’s eyed widened as Kara ordered candyfloss, two toffee apples, and a bag of churros. The last thing Kara needed was _more_ energy. She’d be bouncing off the walls by the end of the night. Lena quickly handed the woman some money, before Kara had the chance to protest.

 

            “You’re spoiling me,” Kara scolded Lena after she thanked her.

 

            Lena let out a quick laugh, “I’ve never had anyone to spoil before.”

 

            “Well next time it’s my turn to spoil you,” Kara told her, digging into the candyfloss as she spoke. Lena rolled her eyes good-naturedly, a warm feeling spreading through her as she accepted some of the candyfloss off Kara. The truth was, she had never been spoilt either. They only person she had was her brother, and even that had gone south.

 

            They walked out of the carnival, slowly making their way down the promenade of the pier. There was a bench at the end, and they sat down, listening to the distant sounds of the carnival and the gentle ebbing and flowing of the sea as it lapped against the wooden posts. It was dark, the only light coming from a few of the lampposts that weren’t broken yet.

 

            “So, last time you said you were Irish, but you don’t have the accent” Kara began, looking at Lena with a curious expression on her face, “how long ago did you move here?”

 

            “I, uh, was adopted when I was four. Too young to keep the accent,” Lena explained, shrugging slightly as she picked at the churro she was holding. She usually didn’t tell people about her personal life, but she knew Kara would be able to relate, having already told Lena about being adopted herself.

 

            “It’s hard isn’t it,” Kara sympathised with her, gently nudging Lena with her knee.

 

            Lena let out another small laugh, giving Kara a wry smile. “Not for me, I’ve never known any different. Why, how old were you?”

 

            Kara frowned, a flicker of pain flashing across her face. “I was thirteen, it was a fire, my dad managed to get me out but he went back in for my mom and …” She trailed off, wincing at the memory.

 

            Lena hesitated slightly before putting an arm around Kara, rubbing her arm in what she assumed was a soothing manner. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, not knowing how to react. In some ways, she guessed that she was lucky she had no memory of her birth parents. Her mom might have been awful, but she was the only mom Lena had ever known.

 

            They sat there for a while in silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, and Lena kept her arm wrapped around Kara, taking some comfort in the warmth of her body pressed up against her side.

 

            After a few minutes, they both stood up, looking at each other. Lena’s arm fell away from Kara’s back, and she gave her a sad smile. Kara smiled back, her eyes glassy from unshed tears for her dead parents. She pulled her camera out of her bag and turned to look back the way they had come, raising it to eyelevel and snapping a quick picture, adding the printed black square to the contents of her bag.

 

            They slowly walked back up the pier, their hands tucked into their pockets, both of them fighting the urge to reach out and take the other’s hand. Lena was fighting with herself in her head. She was acting foolish; she was too old to be acting like a teenager with her first crush. Silently, she told herself to pull it together, Kara was just looking for a friend.

 

            Lena didn’t end up calling her driver. Instead, they wandered the city aimlessly, talking about everything and nothing. They ended up in a cheap diner with good coffee, sitting opposite each other in one of the booths. It wasn’t until midnight that Lena threw a couple of dollars down on the table and followed Kara out, walking her home.

 

\---

 

            The next morning, Lena was making an omelette when her phone buzzed. She scooped it up, checking the screen with a disinterested look on her face. The sharp lines of her face softened as she saw the text from Kara on the screen.

 

_‘I had fun last night –K’_

 

            Lena pressed dial, smiling as she waited for Kara to pick up. She answered on the second ring, her sunny voice coming through the other end. How she managed to be so chipper this early in the morning, Lena had no idea.

 

 _“Good morning!”_ Kara sang.

 

            “Hi,” Lena replied, keeping a careful eye on her eggs.

 

            “Sorry, I just thought it would be easier to call,” Lena explained, checking the underside of the omelette.

 

 _“Yeah, no problem, I love hearing you talk anyway,”_ Kara’s voice came through the other end. Lena felt a slight blush colour her cheeks and she was glad Kara wasn’t here to see. She had a reputation as a stone cold business woman, and she’d like to keep it that way, lest other people think she was turning weak.

 

            “So, I had fun last night too,” Lena admitted, “I’ve actually never been to a carnival before.”

 

 _“What?!”_ Kara’s shocked voice came through, _“have you done anything fun?”_

 

            Lena let out a sharp laugh, “hmm, that depends on what you define fun as. I’ve been to the opera, and the ballet, and New York fashion week.”

 

_“What did you say you did again? Because I’m pretty sure normal people don’t have chauffeur’s and go to New York fashion week.”_

 

            Lena hesitated, the line silent for a few seconds as she contemplated telling Kara the truth, “I may or may not be an heiress to a big company called L-Corp.”

 

 _“You’re joking right?”_ Kara asked, her tone sharp.

 

            “Um, no?” Lena’s voice went hard, waiting for Kara to bring up her brother.

 

 _“So you’re Lena as in Lena Luthor, the new CEO?”_ Kara asked.

 

            “Well … yes,” Lena admitted, her heart in her throat. Maybe this would’ve been better to admit in person.

 

 _“No way! That’s so cool, why didn’t you tell me?”_ Kara replied excitedly.

 

            Lena let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. Maybe Kara had somehow missed the news whilst she was away.

 

 _“Oh yeah! Good news, I got tickets to the next baseball game!”_ Kara all but yelled into the phone with excitement.

 

 _“It’s in three weeks, on Saturday, so just let me know if you’re free,”_ Kara told her.

 

            Lena smiled, juggling the phone, her coffee and her breakfast as she walked over to the table. “That sounds great, I’ll make sure I’m free,” Lena reassured her.

 

            She wouldn’t miss it for the world, not if it meant she got to spend more time with Kara.


	4. Chapter 4

            It was the middle of the week, and Lena was short-tempered after a long morning of endless meetings. She was sat behind her desk, enjoying the peace and quiet of her lunch break as she opened her salad, and contemplating whether or not it would be acceptable for her to have a glass of wine whilst at work.

 

            There was a knock on her door and she let out a frustrated sigh; she couldn’t even eat her food without being disrupted.

 

            “Yes?” she barked, putting her fork down and rubbing her temples. She could feel a headache coming on, which was partly her fault for staying up late to finish yesterday’s paperwork. By the look of things, she’d be doing the same tonight too.

 

            Her secretary, Jess, opened the door slightly, an apologetic look on her face as she poked her head in. Lena frowned at her, waiting for her excuse for interrupting her lunch, which had better be good.

 

            “Sorry Miss Luthor, you have a visitor,” Jess told her.

 

            “Well tell them to make an appointment like everyone else,” Lena snapped, sighing as she rummaged in her bag for some aspirin and got up to get a glass of water.

 

            “Sorry Miss Luthor, she told me to tell you it’s Kara, uh, Kara Danvers,” Jess said, holding her hands out apologetically.

 

            The jug of water thudded loudly on tray as Lena dropped it in surprise, a little bit of water sloshing over the sides. She smoothly picked it back up again, pouring a glass of water and downing it with the pills.

 

            “Send her in,” Lena told Jess, seating herself behind her desk again, arranging her skirt and trying not to fiddle.

 

            A moment later the door opened, and Kara walked in, all smiles as per usual. She was holding a bouquet of yellow lilies, and a paper bag in the other hand. The sharp edges of Lena’s face softened as she looked at Kara, standing up and giving her a slight smile.

 

            “Hi! I hope I’m not interrupting,” Kara smiled, walking over to Lena’s desk.

 

            “Not at all, you’re a welcome distraction,” Lena said, gesturing for Kara to sit down as she sat back in her own seat.

 

            “So, what can I do for you?” Lena asked, her fingertips pressing against one another as she stared at Kara over the desk.

 

            “Oh, well nothing really, I just thought I’d drop by and see you, now that I know where you work and all,” Kara smiled, her nose wrinkling. Lena’s eyebrows raised slightly in surprise; no one ever stopped by for social visits. Not that Lena had any friends to stop by.

 

            “These are for you,” Kara told her, holding out the bouquet of lilies towards Lena, “a thank you for the other night, I had fun.”

 

            A real smile lit up Lena’s face as she took the flowers. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that,” Lena mumbled, a slight blush adding some colour to her pale cheeks.

 

            “It was the least I could do,” Kara smiled, “and I brought donuts too, please tell me you’ve tried a donut before.”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes, getting up and putting the flowers in the jug of water.

 

            “I’m not a complete snob, of course I’ve had a donut before,” Lena scoffed, giving Kara a half smile as she sat down again. “This is the first time someone’s given me flowers though,” Lena admitted, admiring them from her desk.

 

            Kara laughed, “so many firsts for you.”

 

            Lena gave her an exasperated look as she accepted one of the donuts Kara held towards her. “Running a business doesn’t leave me with a lot of free time to do normal things,” Lena told her, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

 

            “Then we’ll have to make a bucket list,” Kara smiled enthusiastically.

 

            “I doubt eating a hotdog really counts as some lifelong dream that needs to be fulfilled before I die,” Lena laughed, taking a bite out of the donut.

 

            “Uh, it is if you’re American,” Kara insisted.

 

            Lena looked amused as she watched Kara. It was almost refreshing how optimistic she was. Lena had always been surrounded by so much negativity and pressure. Admittedly, she usually hated bubbly people, but there was something about the way Kara’s eyes sparkled that made Lena feel warmer inside.

 

            “Did you want to go out for lunch?” Lena asked, raising one eyebrow in question.

 

            “Is, uh, isn’t that your lunch right there?” Kara asked, her gaze sliding over to Lena’s untouched salad that she had abandoned as soon as Jess had mentioned Kara’s name.

 

            “Oh, right, well I don’t really feel like salad,” Lena said, coming up with the first excuse she could think of, “and I’ve been cooped up in here all morning and I need to stretch my legs.”

 

            “Oh, okay, sure!” Kara smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she pushed her glasses up her nose.

 

            “Great,” Lena smiled at Kara, standing up, “is there any place you think I need to go to? Just so we can cross it off the list right now.”

 

            Kara laughed, picking up her bag as she stood up. “Well, how do you like Chinese food?”

 

            “I love it,” Lena smiled, walking over to the door and waving Kara through ahead of her.

 

            “Can you cancel my one o’clock please,” Lena told Jess, who brought her coat and bag over for her as soon as Lena walked out.

 

\---

 

            They were seated in the shadowy back corner of a tiny takeaway restaurant. Lena looked around warily as she sipped at her mineral water; she’d never been in a place like this. She didn’t want to seem snobby, so she kept her opinions to herself, but it was vastly different to the five star restaurants she usually frequented.

 

            “This place has the best potstickers in the entire city,” Kara told Lena as she looked down at the menu. A waiter walked over to the table, smiling as he readied his notepad.

 

            “Back again I see,” he smiled at Kara, before his gaze slid over to Lena, “and with a friend this time.”

 

            “I couldn’t bear the thought of her missing out on the best Chinese in town,” Kara laughed along with him as he poured them both a glass of water.

 

            “Have you ladies decided on your order yet?” he asked them, before looking at Lena “or at least, have you decided on your order yet?”

 

            He jerked his finger in Kara’s direction and loudly whispered to Lena, “I think this one is single-handedly keeping us in business.”

 

            Lena smiled as Kara shrugged good-naturedly. It was true that when she was home she liked to come here at least three times a week. Usually she would get it to go and go back to Alex’s apartment and catch up on all the shows she’d missed.

 

            They both placed their orders and the waiter left for the kitchen, taking their menus with him. Kara sat there with her elbows on the table, her chin propped up in her hands as she smiled at Lena, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

 

            Lena sat back against the seat, her hands in her lap as she met Kara’s warm gaze. Hesitantly, she smiled back. She wasn’t sure why she was so nervous; perhaps it was because she had never wanted someone to like her so much.

 

            “You don’t smile much,” Kara said, a faint crease forming between her eyebrows as she observed Lena. Blinking in surprise, Lena leant forward, mimicking Kara’s pose. She thought she’d been smiling a lot more recently, and she didn’t have to look far to find out why.

 

            “Well, not everyone can smile as much as you,” Lena smirked, raising one of her eyebrows. Kara wrinkled her nose as she smiled wider.

 

            “And perhaps not all of us have reasons to smile,” Lena added, tilting her head to the side as a thoughtful expression crossed her face. That wasn’t really true in her case, she had a lot of reasons to smile, she knew that she was privileged, perhaps even spoilt. But her childhood had left irreparable scars that not even money and power could fix.

 

            “Sorry, that was rude of me to point out, and I don’t mean to pry,” Kara apologised, hoping that she hadn’t crossed the line in their relationship. They had only known each other for a few weeks and it wasn’t Kara’s place, or intention, to pry into Lena’s personal life. If Lena wanted to share something with her, then Kara would be here to listen, but only when she was ready.

 

            “No, no, don’t apologise. You’re right, I don’t smile often, I’m not a very optimistic person,” Lena gave Kara a half smile, “I find it much easier to keep my distance – keep myself detached, it’s less painful.” Lena shrugged as she grimaced.

 

            “Doesn’t that get lonely?” Kara asked quietly, looking at Lena with a slight frown.

 

            “Sometimes, but I’ve always been independent. I guess that some people just aren’t built for love,” Lena mused, the corners of her mouth curling up.

 

            “I don’t believe that,” Kara argued, “you just have to find the right person.”

 

            “Let me know how that works,” Lena said.

 

            “Are you making fun of me? What, you don’t think true love exists?” Kara frowned.

 

            Lena laughed, “true love? I haven’t heard that since I was a child.”

 

            The waiter returned with their meals and a fortune cookie each, placing them down in front of them. Kara had ordered three different dishes, and dug into the potstickers with enthusiasm.

 

            “Come on then, why are you so cynical?” Kara asked Lena, her curiosity evident on her face.

 

            “I’m not cynical,” Lena bristled, picking up a piece of pork. Kara laughed and raised her eyebrows at Lena. “I’m not!” Lena protested, “I just don’t share your optimism, I find it …” she trailed off, her hand waving in front of her as she tried to think of the word.

 

            “Naïve?” Kara supplied, her forehead wrinkling as she raised her eyebrows.

 

            “No,” Lena sighed, “I don’t know, endearing perhaps.”

 

            “Endearing?” Kara repeated.

 

            “Yes, it’s nice to think that there are some people who haven’t let the world stomp out all of their optimism,” Lena smiled slightly.

 

            “When you’ve seen firsthand the horrible things people can do, you want to look for the better things,” Kara explained, picking up her fortune cookie. Cracking it in half, she took out the tiny slip of paper and read it aloud.

 

            “A part of us remains wherever we have been,” Kara smiled, looking up at Lena, “I like this one, what does yours say?”

 

            Lena opened her own, clearing her throat slightly as she read hers out for Kara.

 

            “Love is like oxygen; you need it to survive.”

 

            She dropped the fortune onto the table and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Oh come _on_ ,” Lena sighed.

 

            “I think the cookie is trying to tell you something,” Kara laughed, scooping some rice onto her plate.

 

            “I think you and the cookie are conspiring against me,” Lena laughed, shaking her head as she grabbed a forkful of noodles.

 

\---       

 

            They stayed far longer than Lena had expected too. She had had to slyly text Jess to cancel her next two meetings because she couldn’t tear herself away from Kara just yet.

 

            Just watching her talk was fascinating to Lena. Never had she seen someone so animated and excited when telling a story, and by the end of lunch she knew a lot more about Kara than she had before. Lena had even let slip a few pieces of information about herself, which was even a shock to herself.

 

            Lena insisted on paying for their meal, and Kara walked her back to L-Corp. They took their time, walking as slow as they could to prolong the walk. Neither of them were ready to say goodbye yet.

 

            “So, about your bucket list,” Kara started, adjusting her glasses nervously. Lena looked at her with her eyebrows raised slightly, a small smile on her face as she waited for Kara to continue.

 

            “The baseball game isn’t for another few weeks, but I was thinking about going to the zoo on the weekend,” Kara told Lena, “have-, do-, um, maybe you’d like to come with me?”

 

            “To the zoo?” Lena asked, biting her lip as she tried not to smile.

 

            “I know, I know,” Kara waved away Lena’s next words before she even managed to get them out. “You probably think it’s silly, but who doesn’t like animals, right? And they have this one part at the otter exhibit where you can hold hands with the otters if you put your finger in this hole an-, you’re laughing at me again aren’t you?”

 

            Lena burst out laughing, flashing Kara dimples that she didn’t even know were there. She hadn’t seen Lena laugh properly before.

 

            “No, of course not, it’s just, I’ve never seen someone get so excited about holding hands with an otter,” Lena smiled, biting her lip to try and stop. “I would love to go to the zoo with you, I’ve actually never been to one.”

 

            “What!” Kara exclaimed, turning a few heads as she gaped at Lena. “Okay, I know I shouldn’t be surprised anymore, but how have you never been to a zoo!”

 

            Lena shrugged, her hands in her pocket as she looked up at Kara. “I feel like you’re going to end up forcing me to relive my entire childhood just so I can fit in with the normal American children,” Lena smiled.

 

            “There are just some things you have to do in life,” Kara smiled, “you’ll thank me for it one day.”

 

            “I’m sure I will,” Lena murmured, more to herself than to Kara.

 

            She had a feeling that Kara would stick with her no matter what happened. Even if their friendship dissolved within the next week, there would always be a part of Lena that remembered her. She would leave a mark, a sunny spot that would remind Lena of all the good in the world.

 

            They stopped outside L-Corp, and Kara declined Lena’s offer to come up to her office. She’d already taken up too much of Lena’s time as it was. Promising to text Lena the details for the zoo, Kara gave her a bright smile and walked off, looking back once to wave to Lena and almost colliding with a man walking past.

 

            Lena stood there watching her until she was out of sight.

 

            What was happening to her?


	5. Chapter 5

            Lena jumped at the sound of her phone vibrating. She’d been sat in her office, the blinds drawn as she worked on some paperwork. Her concentration broken, she picked up her phone, smiling slightly when she saw Kara’s name.

 

            “Hi,” Lena smiled, leaning back in her chair.

 

            _‘Hi! So I’m just about to leave now,”_ Kara told Lena.

 

            “Um, Kara this is Lena,” Lena replied, confused as to why Kara was calling her this late.

 

            _“I- I know? I thought we, um, were going to the zoo today?”_ Lena could hear the confusion and questions in Kara’s voice.

 

            “Today? Wha- it’s Friday night,” Lena told her, frowning as she picked up her coffee and took a sip.

 

            _“It’s nine o’clock on Saturday morning, are you okay?”_ Kara asked, slightly concerned. Lena frowned, clicking the button to raise the blinds covering the windows as she swivelled her chair around. She winced as bright sunlight streamed in, momentarily blinding her.

 

            “What the fuck,” Lena hissed, spinning her chair around so the sun was to her back, “sorry, excuse me”. She could hear Kara laughing on the other end as she blinked away the black spots on her eyes.

 

            “Um, just give me a minute,” Lena told Kara, all but running to her bathroom, “I’ll meet you outside the zoo?”

 

            _“We can reschedule if you want,”_ Kara offered.

 

            “No, no, I’ll see you soon,” Lena promised, saying goodbye and stepping under the hot water.

 

            After a shower so quick that it even surprised Lena, she ran to her closet, pulling out the first thing her hands fell on. Within twenty minutes she was rushing out of her apartment, sliding into the back seat of her car as the driver shut the door behind her.

 

\---

 

            “Sorry I’m late,” Lena apologised as she walked over to Kara, who smiled at the sight of her.

 

            “It’s no problem,” Kara waved away her apology, holding a coffee out towards Lena, “I didn’t know if you’d had enough time to get a coffee. Cappuccino right?”

 

            “Yes, thank you,” Lena smiled gratefully, taking a sip.

 

            “I already bought our tickets,” Kara told her, holding out two pieces of paper to the woman in the booth, who waved them through.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena smiled, contemplating whether or not try and offer Kara some money to reimburse her. She didn’t want to offend her, but Lena wasn’t used to people buying things for her, she’d always paid her own way; one of the perks of having money.

 

            “You look tired. Late night?” Kara asked, sipping her own coffee as she led them through the tunnel and into the zoo.

 

            “Mm, paperwork, and lots of it,” Lena explained, “I didn’t realise how much time had passed when you called.”

 

            “Wait, you haven’t slept all night?” Kara said sharply, turning to face Lena.

 

            “I’m a bit of a night owl,” Lena shrugged, “sometimes when I can’t sleep I catch up on some paperwork.”

 

            “We could’ve just rescheduled,” Kara said, taking in Lena’s weary expression, faint shadows under her eyes that weren’t completely covered by her makeup.

 

            Lena snorted, “please, one sleepless night never harmed anyone. Besides, I believe you promised me hand holding?”

 

            Kara smiled, reaching out and taking Lena’s hand, intertwining their fingers. Lena blinked in surprise, staring down at her hand clutched in Kara's, and Kara’s smile dropped as her eyes widened.

 

            “Oh my God, you meant with the otters didn’t you?” Kara smiled sheepishly at Lena, blushing as she tried to pull her hand back. Lena kept their hands locked together as she smiled at Kara.

 

            “I mean, I did, but it’s fine,” Lena laughed, tilting her head to the side as she looked at Kara’s pink cheeks. She looked up at Lena in surprise, looking flustered as she tried to come up with a reply.

 

            “Oh … okay,” Kara smiled, “well, um, the otters are this way anyway.”

 

            Lena let Kara lead them over to the tank, and they stood there watching the otters slip in and out of the water, twisting and playing as they went. Kara dragged Lena over to a little hole in the side of the enclosure, her face lit up with excitement as she turned to face her.

 

            “So, you just put your finger in here and then they come and hold it,” Kara explained, poking her finger through and laughing as one of the otters came over to have a look.

 

            Removing her finger, Kara took Lena’s coffee off her. “Your turn,” she smiled.

 

            Obeying her, Lena poked her own finger in, laughing when the otter tightly gripped her finger.

 

            “They have human hands, that’s so weird,” Lena told Kara, who laughed as she stared at Lena. Looking up, Lena met Kara’s stare, and gave her a half smile as she pulled her hand back. Accepting her coffee again, Lena stared at the otters, standing side by side with Kara, linked by their hands.

 

\---

 

            They sat inside the café overlooking the giraffe enclosure. Lena had bought them both lunch; a salad for herself and a burger and fries for Kara.

 

            They’d walked around half of the zoo already, taking their time as they walked hand in hand down the paths. Kara would stop and take pictures with her polaroid camera, smiling as she excitedly pointed out each animal. Lena would stand by, reading the signs full of facts and information about each animal as Kara took pictures. She would also stand back, watching.

 

            She could look at Kara every day for the rest of her life. Her childlike wonder and unfailing excitement was so alluring; it was impossible not to stare at her.

 

            “Look at them!” Kara gasped, watching as the giraffes stripped the branches of leaves. “I love them!”

 

            Lena smiled, watching Kara as she chewed a piece of lettuce.

 

            “You certainly love a lot of things don’t you?” Lena laughed softly. She’d noticed that Kara used the word freely, in love with everything it seemed.

 

            “Of course!” Kara beamed, turning back to Lena and her burger.

 

            “Don’t- uh, doesn’t overusing the word kind of detract from the meaning though? Like when you say you love your burger, doesn’t it kind of make the word less special when you say you love your sister?” Lena asked.

 

            Kara laughed, her eyes sparkling behind her glasses. “Of course not! Why shouldn’t I love everything?” Lena shrugged. It was a fair point, and she couldn’t come up with a good enough counter-argument.

 

            “Haven’t you ever loved anything?” Kara asked, tilting her head to the side as she observed Lena.

 

            “Yes, I loved my brother,” Lena admitted, playing with her fork as she stared at her food. She looked up when Kara didn’t reply, seeing pity in her eyes as she stared at Lena. She closed her eyes for a moment, smiling slightly at Kara.

 

            “You don’t have to pity me,” Lena told her, “he-”

 

            Kara cut her off with a gently hand pressed against Lena’s, which was still nervously fiddling with her fork. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me,” Kara softly murmured.

 

            “No it’s fine, I want to. He stopped being my brother long before that,” she looked up at Kara as she said it, her eyes slightly shiny even though she willed herself not to cry. She had only cried once over Lex since it had happened, and that was for what he had done to those people, not to himself.

 

            “The man who blew himself up, along with all those people, he wasn’t the person I loved.”

 

            “I-, it must be hard though, I’m sorry,” Kara said, rubbing soothing circles on the back of Lena’s hands. Lena hadn’t talked to anyone about it, no one had wanted to listen before. They just judged her from afar, not knowing that she condemned her own brother for his actions just as much as they did.

 

            “It is what it is,” Lena shrugged, grimacing at Kara, “and maybe that made it harder for me to love than it already was. What I’ve learned is that love will tear us apart.”

 

            “Don’t say that,” Kara argued, quietly but forcefully, “you have to let love in, remember your fortune cookie?” Lena let out a quick laugh, turning her attention back to her salad.

 

            “I’ll let you know how that goes,” Lena smiled hesitantly.

 

\---

 

            It was late in the afternoon and Lena’s lack of sleep was catching up with her. She walked with her hands in her coat pockets, Kara’s arm looped through hers as she dragged them along. They were just finishing their second loop of the zoo, chatting quietly as they walked out of the lion enclosure.

 

            “So, has this been an enlightening experience for you?” Kara asked, smiling down at Lena.

 

            “I can’t believe I’ve managed to go this long without ever coming to a zoo before. Who even was I before this?” Lena teased Kara, who rolled her eyes and blushed slightly.

 

            “Okay, okay,” Kara laughed, “but did you have fun at least?”

 

            “With you, always,” Lena told her, her face serious.

 

            They walked back towards the entrance to the zoo, and Lena strayed off towards one side, pointing towards the gift shop. “Souvenir?” she asked Kara, arching one eyebrow in question. Smiling widely, Kara let Lena lead her into the shop.

 

            They came back out a few minutes later, re-joining the bustling crowds of the city as they walked down the sidewalk. Kara had picked out a little keychain with ‘National City Zoo’ printed on it and insisted that Lena buy a souvenir too, so she’d picked out and a book on environmental science and a bag of compost.

 

            “Compost, really?” Kara laughed, looking at the bag that Lena was carrying.

 

            “It’s for my vegetable garden,” Lena explained defensively, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

            “You have a vegetable garden?” Kara asked, disbelief colouring her tone.

 

            Sighing, Lena looked at Kara, “the future is important, Kara. I try and be as environmentally friendly as I can, so yes, I have a vegetable garden on my rooftop.”

 

            Kara bit her lip as she smiled down at the ground. Who would’ve thought that Lena was so conscious about the environment. Although, thinking about it, Kara realised it fit with her personality perfectly. Knowing her, Lena’s stubbornness would probably solve all of the world’s issues eventually. She was very persistent.

 

            “You should try something from my garden sometime,” Lena told Kara, looking up at her as she waited for Kara to say something.

 

            “Oh! Yeah, that sounds great!” Kara said enthusiastically once she realised that Lena was inviting her to dinner, “I didn’t realise you cooked.”

           

            Lena’s delight at Kara accepting her invitation for dinner quickly turned into panic. She couldn’t cook, she had a personal chef who organised her meals for her and left them for her to find whenever she decided to come home from the office. Her plan was to get him to cook for them with ingredients from her garden, like usual.

 

            “Well I-, uh,” Lena stammered.

 

            “Just let me know when!” Kara smiled widely at her. Lena smiled back nervously, assuring Kara that she would text her and let her know. She also made a mental note to ask Jess to pick her up a recipe book, she had some learning to do.

 

            Lena subconsciously led them back to her apartment, and upon realising they were there, invited Kara upstairs.

 

            “Oh, no, it’s fine. I should let you rest, you look exhausted,” she smiled at Lena, gesturing to the bags under Lena’s eyes.

 

            Lena laughed, “what a polite way to tell me I look awful.”

 

            Kara blushed and stammered as she tripped over her words in her hurry to defend herself. “Wha-, no, I- that’s not what I-.”

 

            Lena’s smiled grew wider as she watched Kara grow more flustered. Gently laying her hand on Kara’s arm, Lena laughed. “Relax, I’m just teasing you.”

 

            “Oh, well I-, you could never look awful,” Kara blurted out anyway, clearing her throat awkwardly as Lena bit her lip, trying not to smile.

 

            “Just … for the record,” she said, looking down at the floor and turning redder as she pushed her glasses up her nose, staring at something interesting on the ground.

 

            They said goodbye, Kara holding her arms open for a hug, but letting Lena make the first move, still aware of the last time she had hugged Lena.

 

            This time there was no stiff awkwardness, or tenseness on Lena’s behalf.

 

            This time she willingly let Kara wrap her in a warm hug, revelling in the warmth and comfort of being held by someone else.


	6. Chapter 6

            Over the next week, Lena pored over the cook book that Jess had picked up for her. She was so busy that week that she only saw Kara once, just for a quick coffee, so she was determined to make sure the meal was perfect. They messaged a lot, and Kara kept mentioning how excited she was for dinner on Friday, which made Lena excited and nervous. She had never even cooked for herself, let alone for someone she was trying to impress.

 

            On Friday she left work early for once, one of the perks of being CEO of her family’s company, and came home early to prepare dinner. Kara wasn’t supposed to be there until five, which gave Lena an hour to get dinner ready, just in case something went horribly wrong in the process. She had an engineering degree and a master’s in business, so how hard could cooking really be?

 

            After slipping into something a bit more casual, Lena went up to the roof. It was quiet and secluded up there, forbidden to everyone in the building, except for Lena because she owned the building and had made it her quiet place. Finding the right ingredients for her recipe, she quickly plucked the ripest vegetables and carried them back down to her kitchen.

 

            Everything was going smoothly as she chopped the vegetables, and except for a few minor mishaps with a knife, that elicited a colourful range of swear words from Lena, she got all the prep done in no time. Now was the hard part; actually cooking the food.

 

\---

 

            Kara knocked on the door at ten to five, making sure she was a few minutes early. Lena answered the door, wearing a little apron and looking a tiny bit flustered as she smiled at Kara.

 

            “Hi, come in,” Lena said, opening the door wider for Kara to step inside.

 

            Smiling widely as she walked through the door, Kara held out a bunch of flowers and a bottle of wine. “These are for you,” Kara told her, holding them out towards Lena, who smiled slightly as she accepted them with fingers covered in band-aid’s.

 

            “Thank you, they’re beautiful,” Lena observed, looking down at the flowers. Kara smiled, taking her coast and shoes off and leaving them by the door. Lena gestured for Kara to follow her, and they made their way down the hallway and out into the open kitchen and living room.

 

            Kara’s eyebrows shot up at the size of the apartment, and the obvious wealth that was evident in the way the apartment was furnished. It was simple but elegant, decorated in shades of cream and light wood, with exposed brick walls and large windows letting in the last rays of the sun. Of course, the private elevator just for Lena should have been enough of a hint of what to expect, even if Kara didn’t take into account that she was the CEO of a billion-dollar company.

 

            “Nice place,” Kara said, raising her eyebrows in surprise as she looked up at the ceiling. Part of it was made up of glass panes, revealing the sky. Kara could see the first star, winking far above them.

 

            “Please, make yourself at home,” Lena smiled, putting the flowers in a vase of water. The splash of colour was a stark contrast to the neutral colour scheme of the apartment. “Would you like some wine?” Lena asked, holding up the bottle of wine and arching one of her eyebrows.

 

            “Sure! That’d be great,” Kara smiled, sitting down on one of the stools at the bar. Lena set a glass of wine down in front of Kara, taking a sip of her own as she stirred something.

 

            “Thanks,” Kara said, “would you like some help?”

 

            “Oh, no, you drink, I’m almost done anyway,” Lena insisted.

 

            Kara took a sip of wine as she looked at Lena. “So, what happened to your hands?” she asked, eyeing the band-aid’s as she spoke.

 

            “Oh, um, a few accidental slip-ups, nothing serious,” Lena assured her, slightly embarrassed. “How was your day?” she asked, changing the subject.

 

            Kara told her about her unexciting morning as she watched Lena open and close the kitchen cupboards, pulling out plates.

 

            “Would you like me to set the table for you?” Kara asked, feeling awkward as she watched Lena. She wasn’t used to doing nothing, in fact, she almost felt useless as she sat there fiddling with her wine glass.

 

            “Already done,” Lena smiled at Kara as she plated up their food.

 

            “Follow me,” she said, jerking her head as she carried the two plates over to the door. Kara picked up both of their glasses of wine, snagging the rest of the bottle off the counter as she followed Lena. They got into the elevator and Lena juggled the plates of food as she pushed the button for the roof. It only took a second before the doors slid open again.

 

            Kara gasped as she took in the view before her. There were plants everywhere. They covered the entire rooftop, in pots, in planters, and some growing up trellises. The rooftop was lit by strings of fairy lights wrapped around the latticework, and a couple of lanterns dotted around the place.

 

            Lena led them both over to a small table with two chairs set up in the middle of the roof. They both sat down, Lena setting down the food as Kara set down the wine. Picking up her fork, Kara looked down at her plate, an uncertain expression on her face.

 

            “So, um, what are we eating tonight?” she asked.

 

            “Chicken and black bean stir-fry with rice,” Lena explained, staring down at her own plate.

 

            Kara raised a forkful to her mouth, and chewed it. She met Lena’s stare as she sat there with her mouth full. The vegetables were hard and the rice wasn’t cooked properly. Lena was looking at her with a worried look on her face. Kara gave her a reassuring smile, her cheeks full of food. She chewed quickly, swallowing it as soon as she could get it down.

 

            “Is it alright?” Lena asked, her face and voice full of hope.

 

            “It’s great," Kara replied enthusiastically, taking a sip of wine before scooping up another forkful and shovelling it in. Lena’s shoulders dropped as she relaxed, a small smile full of relief flickering across her face.

 

            Lena started talking as she pushed some food onto her own fork. As soon as she took the first bite she froze, pulling the chicken out of her mouth and frowning at it. She used her knife to cut the piece of chicken up, exposing the pink middle.

 

            With a look of horror on her face, Lena looked up at Kara who was innocently staring back at her. “Oh my God, it’s not cooked is it?” Lena gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

 

            Kara wrinkled her nose slightly, biting her lip as she tried not to smile. “No, it’s not,” she replied as she shook her head.

 

            “Ah shit,” Lena cursed, feeling her face flush with embarrassment. A giggle burst out of Kara as she looked at Lena. “I’m so embarrassed,” Lena winced, grimacing at Kara.

 

            Reaching across the table, Kara covered Lena’s hand with her own. “Hey, don’t worry about it, it’s not that bad,” Kara laughed, patting Lena’s hand reassuringly.

 

            “I just gave you raw chicken, Kara!” Lena exclaimed, “and you ate it!”

 

            “Well it would’ve been rude not to,” Kara replied, pressing her lips together to stop herself from laughing again.

 

            “What the fuck,” Lena said, sounding exasperated as she put her head in her hands. What kind of person willingly ate raw chicken just to be polite? And it wasn’t _just_ the chicken, it was everything. Not even the rice was cooked properly. All she'd had to do was put it in some boiling water and she'd even managed to mess that up. So much for cooking not being that hard.

 

            “So much for my home-grown fresh food,” Lena joked weakly, eliciting a laugh from Kara. Lena drained the rest of her wine, setting the empty glass down on the table.

 

            “To tell you the truth, I’ve never cooked a day in my life. I actually have a personal chef,” Lena confessed, giving Kara an apologetic look, “when you said that you couldn’t wait for me to cook, I got my assistant to pick me up a recipe book.”

 

            “Why didn’t you just tell me!” Kara laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. Lena shrugged, mumbling something intelligible as she looked down, embarrassed.

 

            “Okay, come on,” Kara said, standing up and picking up both of their plates. Lena followed her back down to the apartment, letting them back in. Scraping all the food into the bin, Lena put the dishes in the dishwasher as Kara rummaged through the fridge.

 

            “I’ll be back in two seconds,” she told Lena, dashing out of the apartment and returning a few minutes later with some more food from Lena’s garden. At Kara’s command, Lena set about peeling some potatoes whilst Kara busied herself with something else.

 

            Lena shot her glances out of the corner of her eye as she watched Kara confidently find her way around Lena’s kitchen. It gave Lena a strange feeling in her stomach; no one had ever come back to her apartment before, let alone made themselves comfortable.

 

\---

 

            Half an hour later, Lena found herself back on her roof. This time with edible food in the form of lamb cutlets, roast potatoes and asparagus. She had to hand it to Kara, it was very good, especially after her own disaster of a meal.

 

            They talked as they ate, telling each other about their childhood, about their families, about the army, and anything else that came to mind. Some parts were painful for Lena to talk about, mostly because she had never told anyone before, but also because she knew her life was vastly different to everyone else’s. When she was younger, and still craved her mother’s love, Lena would wish that she could have a normal family. She was too old for that now, and had stamped down all of the pain from her childhood.

 

            Kara didn’t push her to open up though, and Lena was grateful for that. Lena couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled so much, she even laughed too, and that was a bigger shock.

 

            After they finished eating, Lena led them over to her strawberry plants, and they sat on the floor picking the ripe ones and laughing as they finished the bottle of wine.

 

            “Wait, so you actually went streaking through the courtyard of the boy’s school?” Kara laughed, looking at Lena in disbelief. She was so elegantly beautiful; Kara couldn’t imagine her as a rebellious teenager.

 

            “Of course! Boarding school was like a zoo full of posh bitches and I was very stubborn. I had a reputation to uphold and I was never one to back down from a dare,” Lena explained, smiling as she bit into a strawberry.

 

            “Of course, their headmaster caught me, and then the headmistress at my school called my mother and to say the least, she was not pleased.” Kara threw her head back laughing, pleased to have found out about this other side of Lena.

 

            “Tell me more about this wild side of yours,” Kara commanded, her face lit up in fascination. She could listen to Lena tell stories all day, especially with that voice.

 

            “Hmmm,” Lena thought out loud, trying to think of some of her other antics from boarding school. She really hadn’t been that rebellious as a teenager. She’d been on the chess team, graduated a year early, and mostly stayed to herself.

 

            “Well there was the time Veronica Sinclair bet me an obscene amount of money that I couldn’t climb to the top of the tower and steal the bell,” Lena smiled at the memory.

 

            “I managed to get up there quite easily, and the bell was no problem, but it was so heavy that on the way down I fell through the rafters and went straight through the ceiling. I gave the Sister’s quite a shock when they came running and saw me dangling from the ceiling by my foot which was stuck in the pipes.”

 

            “Oh my God, I’m surprised your stubbornness hasn’t gotten you killed!” Kara exclaimed, picking another strawberry off the plant and biting into it. Maybe it was because she had had too much wine, but as Lena watched Kara bite into the strawberry, all she could think about was kissing her and seeing if she tasted like strawberries.

 

            Shaking her head slightly to clear the thought, Lena put he glass down on the floor. “Let me show you something,” she said, standing up and dusting herself off before holding a hand out to Kara. She led Kara over to the edge of the roof, on the side with the good view. In the day you could see the entire skyline of the city spread out, but at this time of night there were only thousands of lights shining through the darkness, which wasn’t any less breathtaking.

 

            “It’s beautiful,” Kara whispered, the wind ruffling her hair. She wobbled slightly on the edge, and Lena quickly steadied her and pulled her away from the edge.

 

            “Okay, that’s enough of that, or you’ll be falling over the side next,” she told Kara, leading them back over to their abandoned wine glasses. Picking them up, Lena led Kara back inside.

 

            “Would you like some tea or coffee?” Lena asked as she walked into the kitchen.

 

            “Coffee would be great, thank you,” Kara smiled, “just one second though, have you ever made your own coffee?”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes at Kara’s teasing, smiling as she pulled out two mugs. “Very funny. I’m never going to live it down am I?” Kara shook her head and Lena sighed dramatically.

 

            Once the coffee was made she walked over to Kara, handing her a cup. She was staring at Lena’s bookshelves, jam packed with every kind of book imaginable. “I didn’t take you for much of a reader,” Kara said, giving Lena a surprised look as she looked down at her.

 

            “Our mind is our greatest weapon, you have to keep it in shape,” Lena shrugged, walking over to the sofa. Kara sat down next to her, nursing her coffee as she stared at Lena.

 

            “What is it?” Lena asked, quirking one eyebrow up.

 

            “Nothing, it’s just I-, you’re a lot different than I expected,” Kara admitted shyly, circling the rim of her mug with one finger.

 

            “How so?” Lena asked, curious about what Kara had been expecting.

 

            “I don’t know, you just seemed so serious and aloof the first time I saw you," Kara explained, shrugging half-heartedly, “but you’re not, you’re actually very witty and warm, and you have a vegetable garden and read Harry Potter.” She laughed self-consciously as she realised she was babbling.

 

            “Warm, huh?” Lena smirked at Kara.

 

            “Well yeah, I mean, you have your walls and you use your coldness as a defence mechanism so no one can get close enough to hurt you, but you’re actually very different when you let them down a little bit.”

 

            Lena shifted uncomfortably, she hadn’t realised how observant and insightful Kara was, and it was a bit unnerving to have her analyse her entire personality. At the same time though, Lena felt warm inside at the fact that Kara had been paying such close attention to her.

 

            “I can assure you, most people would disagree with your analysis,” Lena mumbled, fiddling with the bottom of her shirt. “My walls are five feet thick, made of solid steel and impenetrable by everyone, except you apparently.”

 

            Kara smiled at Lena, her head tilted to the side as she looked at her.

 

            “Well I guess that’s just part of my-, what did you call it? Endearing? Part of my endearing personality,” Kara laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

 

            “I guess so,” Lena murmured, smiling back at Kara.

 

\---

 

            They sat there talking for hours afterwards. For someone who had never liked socialising, Lena couldn’t get enough of Kara. They always had something to talk about, always a new story to tell or something else about each other that they didn’t know about.

 

            It was nearly midnight when Lena walked Kara downstairs and had her driver take her home.

 

            She had just made herself a fresh cup of coffee and was heading into her office to get started on some late night paperwork before heading to bed. She needed something to distract herself, to clear her head of the never-ending thoughts of Kara that seemed to plague her.

 

_‘Dinner was amazing, thank you’_

            Smiling at her phone, Lena messaged back.

 

_‘Let’s see if you’re still thanking me in 24 hours when the Salmonella kicks in’_

 

            The reply was instant.

 

_‘You're worth it’_

 

            Lena smiled down at her phone, taking in those three words. She'd never heard those before, no one had ever said them to her, but coming from Kara, it was enough to make her forget about all of the times she'd ever been made to feel worthless. For once she felt like there was someone in the world who cared about her, and Lena thought about those three words for the rest of the night.


	7. Chapter 7

            After the disaster of Lena’s dinner, the next time they had dinner together they went to a small bistro that Kara swore was to die for. They stayed late, enjoying each other’s company and a few glasses of wine.

 

  And the time after that, Kara showed up at L-Corp with a pizza when Lena said she would be at the office all night. Lena didn’t end up getting much work done, and the spreadsheets and reports were abandoned on her desk.

 

            On Saturday it was time for the baseball game that Kara had insisted on getting tickets for. Having never watched a game of baseball, Lena wasn’t overly excited about the match, but she did some quick research the night before so she could at least follow the game. Mostly she was just excited to spend some more time with Kara.

 

            Lena insisted on letting her driver take them to the game, and she pulled up outside Alex’s apartment right on time. Kara was waiting outside again, leaning against the brick wall of the front of the building. At the familiar sight of Lena’s car, she pushed off and hurried over to the car, sliding in beside Lena.

 

            “Hi!” she smiled widely, already excited for the game. Lena wondered if she was excited for the baseball part of whether she was excited to be going with her. She was secretly hoping that Kara wanted to spend as much time with her as she did with Kara.

 

            “Good morning,” Lena greeted, “someone’s excited.” She eyed Kara’s outfit; a white baseball shirt with the team name on it in navy, a matching navy cap, and ripped jeans.

 

            “Come on, it’s going to be fun! You need to get in the mood,” Kara told her, picking up the plastic bag she had brought with her.

 

            “Which is why I brought you this!” Kara exclaimed, smiling widely as she pulled out an outfit exactly like her own.

 

            “I stole my sister’s and I thought you could wear mine,” she smiled at Lena, “so we can match!”

 

            Lena raised her eyebrows slightly, accepting the clothes. “Well I wouldn’t want to look ridiculous now, would I?” Lena smirked, eyeing the clothes warily. The hopeful expression on Kara’s face was enough to make her unbuckle her seatbelt and reach for the buttons on her shirt.

 

            Kara blinked in surprise and quickly turned to look out the window. She made a point of intensely staring at something outside, and Lena smiled as she noticed that Kara’s face was flushed as she tried to pretend that Lena wasn’t taking her clothes off right next to her.

 

            She quickly changed into the baseball shirt and a pair of Kara’s jeans, rolling the cuffs up so they fit her better. Putting the cap on, she nudged Kara. “So, how do I look?” she smirked.

 

            “Uh, yeah I-, you look, um, it suits you,” Kara stammered, her cheeks turning redder. She cleared her throat as she stared down at her lap, fiddling with her hands in her lap and avoiding Lena’s gaze.

 

            Lena bit her lip as she tried not to smile, but she couldn’t help but laugh at Kara’s awkwardness. Kara looked up, giving Lena an embarrassed smile as she shrugged.

 

            “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Lena apologised.

 

            “Oh no, it’s fine, I’ve seen everything in the army,” Kara said, waving away Lena’s apologies, “I was, um, I just didn’t want to … stare.”

 

            Lena laughed, raising an eyebrow at Kara, “well that’s something I’ve never heard before.”

 

            Kara laughed, shaking her head as she blushed.

 

\---

 

            They joined the huge crowd waiting to get through the gates, chatting as the line took them closer to the entrance. Kara had their tickets ready when they reached the front, and they went into the stadium. Lena’s hand found Kara’s and she held on tight, making sure she didn’t lose her in the crowd as they headed towards their seats.

 

            Once they found their seats, they sat down and Kara pulled out her camera, looking at Lena with a hopeful expression on her face. “Just one, I promise,” she told Lena, pulling her as close as she could as Lena grumbled. She hated having her picture taken, probably because of her experience with the press, but she smiled a genuine smile for the camera as Kara clicked the button.

 

            A few moments later their faces were smiling back at them from the little square, and Kara beamed at Lena. “Perfect!”   

 

            “You know it’d be a lot easier to just take pictures on your phone,” Lena told Kara, watching as she carefully tucked the photo into her bag.

 

            “Yes, but then it wouldn’t be the same,” Kara replied, “there’s something magical about film, there’s no do-over’s, it’s permanent.”

 

            She hesitated slightly, before giving Lena a small smile, “and this was my dad’s camera, it’s one of the few things I have to remember him by.”

 

            Lena winced, wishing she could kick herself. “Shit! I’m sorry, I had no idea, I didn’t mean it in a bad way,” she babbled.

 

            Kara laughed, stopping Lena’s rambling with a gentle hand on her arm. “It’s fine, it was a good point, no one uses film anymore. This camera is probably the only reason that I like photography so much though,” Kara explained, shrugging slightly.

 

            “I- I like that you take pictures,” Lena said quietly, her voice sincere as she looked at Kara. “You take photos of the most ordinary things but … I don’t know, you see the beauty in that and I just, I like that about you.”

 

            She covered Kara’s hand with her own. “So please don’t think that I was criticising you,” she told her. Kara smiled, patting Lena’s hand in a reassurance.

 

            “It’s fine, it was just a comment,” Kara smiled, her eyes crinkling at the corners. Lena nodded, giving Kara a small smile in return.

 

            “Right, how about some food?” Kara asked, her eyes lighting up at the thought. Lena let out a quick laugh; she was used to Kara’s enthusiasm towards food by now. She’d eaten out more times in the past five weeks than she had in the past five months combined. One of the downsides of not having any friends was a lack of a social life.

 

\---

           

            The game was well underway and Lena was surprisingly enjoying it more than she had originally thought. Although, she attributed most of her enjoyment to watching Kara yell along with the rest of the crowd as they watched the game.

 

            They both had plastic cups full of beer and a serving of nachos to share. Kara had laughed when Lena had been shocked by the choices of alcohol; where was the vintage wine? The decade old whiskey? Apparently cheap beer in plastic cups was the go to drink at a baseball game.

 

            During the seventh inning Kara got them two hotdogs and they sat there talking whilst they waited for the game to resume. It was during this break that the camera went around filming the audience on a large screen.

 

            “Why are they all kissing?” Lena asked, leaning in to make herself heard over the sound of the crowd cheering on a couple.

 

            “It’s a kiss cam!” Kara yelled back, laughing and clapping as the next couple kissed. Lena watched the screen and her eyebrows shot up in surprise as it zoomed in on the next unsuspecting person.

 

            It was Kara.

 

            Lena frowned slightly as they guy next to Kara turned to face her, raising his eyebrows suggestively. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach as she looked at the screen in jealously. She couldn’t bear to look at Kara directly, she didn’t want to see her kiss this stranger, she didn’t want to feel the twisting jealously in her stomach. She didn’t know why she was feeling like this. It was none of her business who Kara kissed. But maybe that was the problem. Lena had let Kara in, had grown close to her in a way she’d never been close to anyone.

 

            Her fake smile turned to shock as she felt warm hands cup her face and turn her head away from the screen, pulling her closer. Kara’s lips were soft as she quickly pressed them against Lena’s. It was only for a second, but it was enough to make Lena’s heart race and her lips tingle.

 

            She blinked in surprise as Kara pulled back. Speechless, she stared at Kara with her mouth open. Laughing, Kara waved at the camera as everyone cheered for them. Her cheeks were rosy as she blushed, and Lena could feel how hot her face was too. They guy on the other side of Kara looked at them both in shock, his hands still half reaching for Kara and the kiss he’d been expecting.

 

            After the camera had moved on from them, Kara looked at Lena, smiling widely. “Sorry, I didn’t want to leave the camera hanging,” Kara explained, her eyes crinkling at the corner’s.

 

            “Oh, yeah, no it’s fine,” Lena squeaked, brushing her thoughts aside. Of course it was just for the camera. “What are friends for,” Lena joked nervously.

 

\---

 

            After the game finished, they found the nearest bar and found a booth in a dark corner. Lena ordered them some cocktails at the bar, and a quick shot of vodka for herself to take the edge off before heading back to the table.

 

            Smiling at Kara, she slid in opposite her and placed the drink down in front of her. “One sex on the beach,” Lena proclaimed, gesturing to the drink. Kara enthusiastically pulled it towards her, taking a sip.

 

            “Is that a martini?” Kara asked, eyeing Lena’s drink.

 

            “Yes, would you like to try some,” Lena told her, picking up the olive and sliding it off the toothpick.

 

            “Shaken, not stirred?” Kara asked with a laugh. Lena frowned slightly, and Kara raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

 

            “Please tell me you know where that’s from,” Kara asked.

 

            “Of course I do,” Lena scoffed, “I’m not a total hermit.”

 

            Kara laughed leaning across the table to pick up Lena’s glass. She took a sip and wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Yuck, I feel like James Bond overhyped these way too much,” Kara gagged, giving Lena back her drink.

 

            Dinner time passed whilst they sat there enjoying their drinks. They ordered some food at the bar, not ready to leave yet, and sat there for a little while longer as they ate and ordered more drinks. They were so engrossed in their conversation that they just kept ordering drinks. Kara was so entranced by Lena; by her voice, her hypnotising eyes, her smirk. And Lena was so absorbed in Kara as she watched her laugh without hesitation, making wild gestures as she talked animatedly. In their own dark corner of the bar it was like time ignored them whilst the rest of the world carried on. They could have been the only two people in the bar for all they knew.

 

\---

 

            It was almost midnight when they left the bar. They hadn’t meant to stay out so late, but they’d both been so engrossed in their conversation that they hadn’t realised how late it was getting.

 

            They walked home slowly, and Kara was telling Lena about her army friends.

 

            “So Winn manages the communication networks, he’s like really good with computers. James and Lucy are dating, but Lucy works as prosecutor so she’s mostly in Central City and James is in Afghanistan with me.”

 

            Lena patiently listened, enjoying hearing about Kara’s friends. She wondered what it would be like to have people who were like family, or even just to have a proper family. Kara had her arm looped through Lena’s as they walked, and the warmth of her next to Lena reminded her that she did have a friend, and Lena wouldn’t wish for anyone else.

 

            “So you, James and Winn are all in the same squadron?” Lena asked as they strolled along sixth street.

 

            “Mhm, since the beginning!” Kara beamed, thinking about her best friends. “We’re like family.”

 

            “It’s nice that you have people over there with you,” Lena smiled back. She was glad that Kara wasn’t alone over there, and she could picture her laughing and making the best out of the situation, brightening up everyone’s day and making in bearable.

 

            “Yeah, it’s comforting to know that I have people who love me no matter which country I’m in,” Kara agreed, and Lena could see the love and adoration in her eyes as she thought about her family.

 

            “So they’re all home on leave too?” Lena asked, looking up at Kara as she waited for her to answer.

 

            “Yeah, Winn lives in National City too so I see him most days,” Kara explained, “and James is in Central City with Lucy, but they’re coming to visit soon.”

 

            She gasped, looking down at Lena with an excited look on her face. “Maybe when they visit I could introduce you!”

 

            “Oh!” Lena exclaimed, her eyebrows raising in surprise at Kara’s words, “you want me to meet your friends?” She sounded confused as she double checked with Kara.

 

            “Yeah! I’ve told them all about you, they’d love to meet you,” she smiled at Lena.

 

            “You told them about me?” Lena asked, frowning slightly.

 

            “Well I can’t keep secrets from my sister, she has like a sixth sense for these things,” Kara explained, looking up at the dark sky as it started to rain. Light drops of water fell down and Lena wrinkled her nose as they trailed cold tracks down her face.

 

            “What things? Friends,” Lena laughed, “are we not supposed to be friends because of my brother?” A cold feeling filled Lena as she waited for Kara’s confirmation. She wouldn’t hold it against her of course, but she wished that Kara would have told her family before Lena had got attached. Lena’s jaw tightened as the muscles in her jaw worked. She steeled herself, waiting for the inevitable rejection. The rain was falling down harder now, fat drops of water soaking into their coats.

 

            “No, she has a thing for sensing when I like someo-,” Kara broke off, her cheeks turning red under the glow of the streetlights. “Just pretend that I didn’t say that,” Kara asked, her eyes shut as her face turned even redder.

 

            “You like me?” Lena asked, puzzled. Kara kept on walking, pulling Lena along by their linked arms. They made it a few steps before Lena yanked on Kara’s arm, pulling them to a stop.

 

            “Please, just ignore me,” Kara mumbled, looking down at the floor. “I don’t want to make things uncomfortable, it’s just I-, you mean a lot to me. Sorry if I overstepped, I know I shouldn’t have kissed you earlier but I didn’t mean, I just, I don’t know, I like you.” She was too embarrassed to even look Lena in the eye.

 

            “ _You_ like _me_?” Lena asked again, disbelief colouring her tone as she double-checked because surely she had mistaken Kara's meaning.

 

            Kara groaned, throwing her head back and covering her face with her hands. “Oh God, it sounds so much worse when you say it out loud. Ground swallow me whole now.” A bubble of laughter burst past Lena’s lips as she reached up to pull Kara’s hands away from her face.

 

            Lena brought her hands up to cup Kara’s neck. She stared into her eyes, they looked so blue in the light from the lamppost. With a slight hesitation, full of uncertainty, Lena reached up and closed the gap between them. Her lips were soft against Kara’s, just a gentle graze along her lips.

 

            And then it was more, and her mouth was hot against Kara’s as she deepened the kiss, running her tongue along Kara’s bottom lip. She slid one hand round to cup the back of Kara’s neck, her other hand cupping Kara’s cheek. She felt Kara’s hand on her lower back, pulling her closer, and the other tangling in her hair.

 

            Lena wasn’t sure how long they stood there wrapped up in each other, the rain soaking them as they got lost in the kiss. Eventually they broke apart, staring at each other as they tried to catch their breath. Kara looked taken aback as she stood there staring into Lena’s eyes, one hand still grasping a fistful of her hair.

 

            Lena let out a breathless laugh, wiping away the raindrops on Kara’s face with the cuff of her coat. “Oh God, I’ve wanted to do that for the longest time,” she whispered, her thumb grazing Kara’s cheekbone.

 

             “Yeah?” Kara asked, her eyebrows raising in surprise. This night had taken a turn that she hadn’t expected. It was one thing for her to admit she liked Lena, but it was another for Lena to kiss her, especially like that. Kara figured it was safe to say that Lena liked her too, which was also a shock.

 

            “Yeah,” Lena whispered, pressing a quick kiss to Kara’s lips as if it was the most natural thing in the world, as if she’d been doing it every day for years. Her lips were tingling as she pulled back, and she felt warm, despite the freezing cold rain that had drenched them.

 

            They walked home faster after that, giddy with happiness as they splashed through the puddles on the sidewalk, cheeks flushed and eyes bright as they snuck glances at each other out of the corner of their eyes.

 

            Lena knew that for the rest of her life she would remember that kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

            The next morning Lena was greeted by the flashing of cameras and the shouts of reporters as she arrived outside L-Corp. Stepping out into the rain, she was bombarded by a million questions, each one indistinguishable as the reporters yelled over one another. One of the building’s security guards was waiting outside, and quickly escorted her past the press whilst she avoided talking to them. Whatever they were here for was of no importance to her; it must have been a slow news day because she hadn’t done anything lately that warranted attention.

 

            Walking out of the elevator she handed her coat and bag to Jess and walked towards her office. Jess trailed in after her a few moments later.

 

            “Here’s your juice Miss Luthor; spinach, celery and green apple today,” Jess informed her, handing her a cup of the green liquid, along with the tablet of today’s schedule. She held her hand out expectantly for a newspaper too, but when Jess didn’t hand it to her, her hand went back to tapping away at her tablet.

 

            Lena sat herself down behind her desk, taking a sip as she looked down at the screen. Sighing she scrolled through the day packed with endless meetings.

 

            “Paper?” Lena asked, raising one of her eyebrows as Jess clutched Lena’s morning newspaper to her chest.

 

            “Oh, right … well there’s been an incident-” Jess started, and Lena sighed, reaching out and taking the newspaper off her. Jess’ rambling trailed off into silence as she watched Lena unfold the paper and stare down at the front page.

 

_‘Lovestruck Luthor’_

 

            The title was written in large letters across the top of the front page, along with a picture of Kara kissing Lena beneath it. Lena’s heart started racing; she had forgotten that they had been in a packed baseball stadium with thousands of other people. Just because she was dressed down and wasn’t sat front row didn’t mean that people wouldn’t have picked up on the fact that she was Lena Luthor. Somehow, being with Kara had made Lena forget about her highly publicised life.

 

            “That’ll be all,” Lena directed towards Jess as she shook out the pages. Jess didn’t need to be told twice, and quickly rushed out of the office, hoping that she could blend in to the background for the rest of the day. Lena was an indifferent person at the best of times, but front page articles and gossip was a sure way to put her in a bad mood.

 

            Lena was halfway through the article when her phone started vibrating. She looked down and her frown turned into a slight smile when she saw Kara’s name, quickly sliding across to answer it.

 

            “Good morning,” Lena greeted her, picking up her juice as she stared down at the picture looking up at her from the front page.

 

 _“Um, have you seen the news yet?”_ Kara’s anxious voice came through.

 

            “If you’re referring to the photo of you kissing me, then yes, I’m staring at the paper right now,” Lena mused.

 

 _“Y-you don’t sound mad,”_ Kara said hesitantly.

 

            “Mad? Why would I be mad?” Lena asked, her forehead knitting together in confusion.

 

 _“There’s a picture of us kissing on the front page of every major news outlet in the city,”_ Kara stated, as if Lena was missing something.

 

            “I mean, they could’ve been a bit more original with the title, but if you think _this_ is bad you should find some of the articles from when my brother blew himself up,” Lena laughed bitterly. “But honestly, why would I be mad? For all they know that was just a kiss between friends. Imagine what they’d be saying if they saw the _other_ kiss,” Lena smiled as she thought about it. She’d been thinking about it all night and all morning.

 

 _“I just-, I feel bad. I know you’re a private person and this is probably the exact opposite of keeping a low profile,”_ Kara worried, and Lena could picture her fidgeting as she paced back and forth.

 

            “It’s fine, Kara. It’s not the first time I’ve been photographed kissing someone, I just forgot that we were in such a public place, or I would’ve told my publicist. We’ll just have to be more careful next time,” Lena reassured Kara.

 

 _“Next time?”_ and Lena could hear the smile in Kara’s voice.

 

            “I-, well I think I made it quite clear the other night … but perhaps I could make it clearer,” Lena flirted, smiling to herself as she thought about Kara.

 

 _“Oh! I-, well, yeah that would-, that would be … good,”_ Kara stammered, taken aback by Lena’s flirty tone.

 

 _“Did you-, um, we can get lunch, if you’d like?”_ Kara asked.

 

            Lena closed her eyes as she threw her head back against the headrest. She sighed deeply. “Lunch might not be the best idea actually. I’m sorry, I just have meetings all day and there’s a crowd of reporters outside my office right now,” Lena explained apologetically.

 

 _“It’s not problem, really, we can just wait for this to blow over. Maybe give it a week or so,”_ Kara suggested. Lena frowned slightly.

 

            “I’m not going to wait a _week_ to see you again. I just meant that lunch was off the table for today, but we could have dinner tonight at my place,” Lena suggested, tapping her fingers nervously as she waited for Kara’s answer.

 

 _“Dinner sounds great!”_ she replied enthusiastically, _“did you-, am I cooking?_ ”

            Lena let out a quick laugh, which turned into a groan. “Please let it go. I’ve never so much as made toast before. I’m a privileged mess,” Lena grumbled.

 

 _“Well I can cook, if you don’t want to order take-out,”_ Kara proposed.

 

            “Hmmm, cooking sounds like a great idea. Who knows, maybe I can learn to boil water properly,” Lena replied, rolling her eyes.

 

 _“Great! What time did you want me to come over?”_ Kara asked.

 

            “Well I can leave a bit early, say five o’clock, and you can come over any time after that,” Lena told her. The door to her office opened as Jess poked her head inside, signalling the start of Lena’s first meeting for the day. She held up one finger, and Jess nodded, leaving to tell the person she would just be a moment.

 

            “As much as I’d prefer to just talk to you all morning, my first meeting is about to start,” Lena sighed into the phone.

 

 _“Okay, I’ll see you tonight then!”_ Kara chirped into the phone, already excited about tonight. _“Have a good day!”_

 

            “You too,” Lena smiled slightly, a warm feeling spreading inside her as she hung up.

 

            That feeling didn’t last long though as she got up and smoothed her skirt free of wrinkles, waiting to greet the person about to walk into her office. Hopefully the meetings wouldn’t be too tedious.

 

\---

 

            Lena got home a little while after five. She peeled off her wet coat, and slipped her heels off by the door. At least with all this rain she wouldn’t have to water the plants today. She had a quick shower to warm herself up, and dressed in something more casual.

 

            Sat on one of the stools lining the kitchen counters, Lena busied herself with some reports that needed reviewing. She didn’t get very far into them before there was a knock on the door. Smiling to herself, she padded over to the door, pulling it open to reveal Kara. She was stood there smiling and dripping wet, holding a bouquet of flowers and a bag full of groceries.

 

            “Hi!” she smiled, leaning in to kiss Lena on the cheek, “these are for you.”

 

             “Hi, thank you,” Lena smiled shyly, taking the flowers and opening the door wider. “Come in, please.”

 

            Kara hung her coat up next to Lena’s, and slipped her shoes off before following her down the hallway. She was shivering slightly as she walked behind Lena.

 

            “Did you know there’s a car parked across the street with a guy and a massive camera?” Kara asked, her teeth chattering slightly.

 

            “Of course there is,” Lena sighed wearily, “they’re probably hoping for something scandalous.” She laughed as she found a vase for the flowers, before turning around to face Kara.

 

            “Oh, please, sit down,” Lena told her, gesturing to one of the stools. “Can I get you a drink? Something hot?”

 

            “Um, I’ll just stand until I dry off a bit, these stools look expensive,” Kara smiled, hugging herself, “and coffee would be great thank you.”

 

            “Oh my God, you’re soaking!” Lena frowned, walking around to stand in front of Kara. She reached out and grabbed Kara’s arms, rubbing some warmth into her. “I thought it was just your coat.”

 

            “I’m fine, I just got a little wet,” Kara waved away Lena’s concern.

 

            “Did you walk?” Lena asked, horrified at the thought of Kara walking all the way from her sister’s apartment to here.

 

            “Wha-, no, well yes, I got a cab to the closest store to your house so I could pick up some ingredients, and then I walked from there. The rain wasn’t that heavy when I left,” Kara explained.

 

            Lena made a disapproving noise as she took Kara’s hand, leading her down another hallway. “You wait here, I’ll fetch you some dry clothes,” Lena told her, opening the door to a bathroom. “You’re welcome to take a hot shower to warm up, if you’d prefer.”

 

            “Okay, thanks,” Kara smiled gratefully.

 

            Lena closed the door behind her and went to her closet. Rifling through the clothes, she looked for the biggest and warmest jumper she could find, before digging through her laundry basket for the jeans Kara had leant her yesterday.

 

            Walking back to the bathroom with the clothes folded in her hands, along with a pair of woolly socks, Lena knocked on the door, hoping that Kara could hear her over the running water.

 

            “I, um, I have some clothes for you, I’ll just leave th-”

 

            “Come in,” Kara yelled, her voice muffled from the noise of the shower.

 

            Lena hesitated before turning the door handle and opening the door. The shower was all fogged up, but she avoided looking in the general vicinity of it anyway, giving Kara some privacy.

 

            “I-, um, I’ll just leave them next to the, uh, sink,” Lena stammered, hoping that Kara couldn’t hear how flustered she was.

 

            “Thank you!” Kara’s cheery voice called over the shower.

 

            Lena walked back into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. She set about making some coffee whilst she waited for Kara to join her in the kitchen, hoping that her cheeks would return to their normal colour by then.

 

            “Hey, do you have a mop? Or like a cloth or something?” Kara asked, standing at the mouth of the hallway. Lena fought to keep her face neutral as she took in the sight of Kara wearing one of her jumper’s.

 

            “Um, I think so. Why?” Lena asked, clearing her throat in an attempt to make her voice sound casual. Inside she couldn’t stop thinking about Kara wearing her clothes.

 

            “There’s a trail of water from your front door all the way to your bathroom,” Kara laughed, looking guilty.

 

            “Don’t worry about it, it’s only water,” Lena dismissed her concerns. She walked closer to Kara, holding out a cup of coffee.

 

            “Did you want me to put your wet clothes in the dryer?” Lena asked, raising her eyebrows at Kara as she sipped her own coffee.

 

            “That would be great,” Kara beamed at her, putting her coffee on the counter and running back to the bathroom to fetch the clothes she’d left hanging on the towel rack to dry. She returned a few moments later with a ball of damp clothes in her arms.

 

            “Here, let me,” Lena said, gesturing for Kara to hand her the clothes.

 

            “Okay, I’ll get started on dinner then,” Kara said, walking over to the bag she’d deposited on the counter when she had walked in.

 

            Lena left Kara to it as she made her way to the laundry room. Opening the door to the dryer, Lena unscrewed the clothes, shaking out the wet jeans before throwing them in, followed by Kara’s jumper. Her stomach flipped as she held up Kara’s underwear, and she felt her cheeks heat up. She threw them in the dryer with the rest of the clothes, and took a moment to let the redness fade from her face before returning to the kitchen.

 

            “What can I help with?” Lena asked, walking over to Kara.

 

            “You can help with sitting down and drinking your coffee,” Kara smiled down at her as she chopped an onion.

 

            “I know I’m a shit cook, but I’m not _completely_ useless,” Lena protested, reaching for a knife.

 

            “Nope, no, no, no,” Kara argued, taking Lena’s outstretched hand in her own instead, and backing her away from the knives and out of the kitchen. Lena laughed as she let Kara guide her around the counters and onto a stool. “You stay right here and tell me about your day,” Kara said as she walked back around the counters and resumed her chopping.

 

            “My day?” Lena repeated, frowning slightly. She had never had someone to come home to and talk about her day with, well, someone that was interested. She didn’t even know where to begin. Kara raised her eyebrows expectantly, waiting for Lena to say something.

 

              “Or maybe I should start by apologising for the latest Luthor scandal,” Kara smiled, wrinkling her nose at Lena.

 

            Lena took a deep breath and let out a long sigh. “Who knew that people were so invested in my love life,” Lena said wryly, rolling her eyes at Kara.

 

            “I think part of it is because you’re a girl,” Lena laughed, “it took me a while to come to terms with my sexuality, so they’ve never seen me with a woman before.”

 

            “Oh no, oh God no, please don’t tell me I just outed you to the whole world,” Kara gasped, Lena's words filling her with dread. The knife stopped in mid-air whilst she looked at Lena in horror.

 

            “Well no, not really, it’s never been a secret. I guess no one bothered to ask, and everyone made their own assumptions. I've never commented on it before,” Lena shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. “It’s not your fault they’re all narrow-minded idiots who assume everything is one way unless explicitly stated.”

 

            “Sorry, I still should have checked before,” Kara apologised.

 

            “It’s no problem, honestly. One magazine actually said that it was a kiss between friends, so I don’t know if their reporter had eyes or not, but apparently some people are still blinded by the fact that some girls _do_ like girls,” Lena laughed.

 

            “Friends huh?” Kara raised her eyebrows in surprise.

 

            “Their words, not mind,” Lena smirked at Kara.

 

\---

 

            They were sat side by side on the sofa, both nursing a cup of tea as they talked. They were full from the lasagne Kara had made, which Lena had to admit was delicious, and the strawberry cheesecake she had bought for dessert.

 

            Lena had put some classical music on her record player, and Kara laughed because of course Lena listened to classical music, and of course she owned them all on vinyl. They shared a blanket, and had their heads resting on the back of the sofa as they looked up through the sky light in the ceiling, watching the rain hit the glass panes.

 

            They were silent for a moment, and Lena could sense that Kara wanted to say something. She could feel her fidgeting next to her. She turned her gaze down from the ceiling and looked at Kara.

 

            “What is it?” Lena asked, tilting her head to the side as she observed Kara.

 

            Kara sat upright too, meeting Lena’s gaze as she bit her lip.

 

            “I just … I think we should talk,” Kara said slowly, a crease forming between her eyebrows.

 

            “About last night?” Lena guessed, raising an eyebrow.

 

            “Yes,” Kara nodded, looking down at her tea.

 

            “It’s just,” Kara let out a sigh, looking back up at Lena, “I know you don’t trust people, and you think feelings are stupid, but I like you. It’s fine if you’re not comfortable doing … whatever this could be, with someone, and I just want you to know that this is fine. What we have is good. But you said that you made yourself clear last night, and then with everything tonight ... and i just want to make sure you want us to, you know ...”

 

            Kara looked at Lena with a serious expression on her face, but her eyes were kind and Lena smiled slightly. She was nervous as she looked back Kara, thinking over the words in her head before she said them.

 

            “I-, you’re right. About everything,” Lena agreed, frowning slightly. “I’m a stubborn person. I can be very cold, especially when I’m hurt. I don’t trust people, I’m cynical, I put up walls. I am the exact opposite of you … but still, here we are.”

 

            “I like to be in control of everything, and when I’m with you I’m not in control and that frightens me,” Lena admitted, swallowing the lump in her throat. “And you’re right; what we have is good. You’re the only friend I have and I don’t want to ruin that. But what we have could be … great, and I want it. I want to be with you all the time, and when I’m not with you I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s-, I just-, I don’t think I can be just friends with you.”

 

            Her gaze flickered down to Kara’s lips, and her stomach twinged as her pulse started racing. This seemed different. There was no dark street, no alcohol to assist her, no kiss-cam.

 

            Just Kara wearing one of her jumpers. Two cups of tea, cooling as they talked. And yet, Lena had never wanted to kiss her more than she did in this moment. The nervous fluttering in her stomach was enough to confirm Lena’s words; she didn’t know how to be close to someone, but she couldn’t stay away from Kara.

 

            Lena reached up and cupped one of Kara’s cheeks, gently rubbing a thumb along her cheekbone. She hesitated, and Kara was as still as stone as she waited for Lena make the first move.

 

            And she did.

 

            With a quick, deep breath, she leaned in and pressed her lips to Kara’s. Her lips were soft beneath Lena’s as she pushed back gently. Lena’s other hand came up to tangle in Kara’s hair as she shifted closer to her on the sofa. She felt Kara’s hands on her waist, pulling her closer as Lena ran her tongue along Kara’s bottom lip, deepening the kiss.

 

            Lena pulled back, resting her forehead against Kara’s as she knelt in front of her. She laughed breathlessly, and Kara joined in too, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she stared into Lena’s eyes. Her heart was racing as she disentangled her hand from Kara’s hair, drawing back.

 

            “I-” Lena began, before finding herself speechless. She didn’t know where to begin.

 

            “I know,” Kara whispered, reaching out to brush Lena’s hair out of her face, gently cupping her chin before placing a quick kiss on her lips. Then another one.

 

            Lena’s lips were tingling as she moved back under the blanket, fiddling with the edge of it whilst she waited for her heart rate to settle back down. She glanced up at Kara, who was watching her with a smile on her face. Lena didn’t know what to say, she couldn’t even think straight. All she could think about was Kara’s lips.

 

            “So,” Kara started after a few minutes of silence whilst they both wrapped their head around the kiss.

 

            “Did y-, was that okay?” she asked nervously, looking at Lena with an anxious expression on her face.

 

            “Fine,” Lena squeaked, her cheeks flushed and eyes bright as she looked at Kara. She ducked her head shyly, smiling into her lap as she cleared her throat. “I-, um, that was … I definitely want to do that again.”

 

            She laughed, shaking her head as her cheeks reddened again. Kara reached for her hand and pressed a quick kiss to the back of it.

 

            “Me too,” she agreed, smiling widely at Lena.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, uni's keeping me very busy.

            “Hello,” Lena said, answering her phone.

 

_“Good morning!”_

 

            Just hearing Kara’s voice was enough to bring a slight smile to Lena’s face.

 

            “Someone’s happy this morning,” Lena noted, a warm feeling spreading through her body as Kara laughed.

 

_“Aren’t I always?”_ she quipped.

 

            “Hmm, yes, but you sound even happier than usual, which is saying something,” Lena mused, standing up and fetching a folder off her bookshelf. She sat back down behind her desk and opened it, flipping through the pages with one hand as the other pressed her phone to her ear.

 

_“Well I just go the news that I go back to work on Monday!”_ Kara’s excitement was palpable through the phone and Lena smiled.

 

            “That’s great … wh-, um, where are you going to be stationed?” Lena asked hesitantly, her stomach filling with dread at the thought of Kara being stationed far away.

 

_“Isn’t it! I’ll be stationed at Fort Rozz, so it’s just outside the city,”_ Kara explained.

 

            “Oh, well that’s good,” Lena agreed, “does-, how-, uh, would you come home on your days off?”

 

_“I won’t be living on base, it’s like a forty-minute drive so I’ll be staying with Alex!”_

 

            She sounded excited at the prospect of staying in National City, and Lena was silently relieved. Not that she would ever want Kara to hold back from her career just because Lena finally had a friend. Or maybe more than a friend. She was still a bit confused about what they were doing.

 

            “That’s … really great, Kara. We should go out and celebrate,” Lena suggested.

 

_“Well that’s why I was calling actually,”_ Kara told her, _“I was wondering if you were free on Sunday?”_

 

            Suddenly, Lena was completely free all day. She would have Jess cancel all of her meetings, and would skip going into the office. It was a Sunday anyway, so it wasn’t a particularly busy day for her. Lena only worked weekends because she hadn’t had anything better to do until she had met Kara, and now it was just a habit.

 

            “Completely. Why, what did you have in mind?” Lena asked curiously.

 

_“Great! And it’s a surprise, so you’ll have to wait and see,”_ Kara told her, and Lena could hear the smugness in her voice. She rolled her eyes as she smiled down at the reports in front of her.

 

_“Just make sure you wear something casual, and wear sensible shoes,”_ Kara told her.

 

            Lena laughed, “okay, I will. I’ll see you on Sunday then.”

 

_“Okay! I’ll message you tonight and let you know more. Bye!”_

 

\---

 

            On Sunday, Lena was up early and ready way before Kara was supposed to be picking her up. Not knowing what to expect, she’d put on a blouse and a pair of her casual pants that she wore around the house, hoping that it was casual enough.

 

            At nine o’clock Lena’s phone started vibrating. She eagerly picked it up, sliding across to answer.

 

_“Hey, I’m outside! Do you want me to come up, or are you ready to go?”_ Kara’s cheerful voice came through.

 

            “I’m ready. I’ll be down in a minute,” Lena replied, smiling as she fetched her bag and hung up.

 

            A few moments later she was outside her building, face to face with Kara, who was leaning against the side of a car. She pushed off it and smiled widely at Lena, opening her arms for a hug. Lena smiled as she walked forwards and let Kara wrap her arms around her just for a moment.

 

            “Hi,” Lena smiled shyly, her pale cheeks turning slightly pink.

 

            “Hi,” Kara smiled back, cupping Lena’s cheek and pressing a soft kiss to the other one. She stepped back and opened the passenger door, gesturing for Lena to get in. Climbing in, Lena buckled her seatbelt and watched Kara walk around and get in the driver’s side.

 

            “So, are you going to tell me where you’re taking me?” Lena asked, arching an eyebrow.

 

            Kara grinned as she pulled out into traffic, her eyes crinkling at the corners. She shot Lena a look, giving her a once over. “Not yet, it’s a surprise,” Kara told her, “but you might need to get changed.”

 

            “You said dress casual,” Lena frowned, looking down at her plain outfit.

 

            “I know,” Kara laughed, “and it’s cute that you think that’s casual, but you look like you’re about to do my taxes or try and sell me a house. I packed you some of my clothes just in case.”

 

            Lena blushed at Kara’s teasing; her life didn’t leave much room for graphic t-shirts and sneakers. She knew that Kara wasn’t judging her though, and she was a bit surprised that Kara knew her well enough to know that she would need a change of clothes.

 

            “I picked you up a juice too,” Kara said, fumbling for the cardboard tray holding her own frappuccino. “It’s carrot, celery, pineapple and apple I think? I don’t know what it’s like but it seemed like one of those weird healthy drinks I know you’re into.”

 

            “Thank you,” Lena laughed, taking the plastic cup and taking a sip.

 

\---

 

            It wasn’t until they were outside the city limits that Lena unbuckled her seatbelt and reached for the clothes on the backseat. She pulled Kara’s jeans and an olive green plaid shirt into her lap, and Kara peeked at her out of the corner of her eye, hoping that Lena wouldn’t figure out that she’d purposely picked the green one so that it would bring out the colour in her eyes.

 

            Lena unbuttoned her blouse, quickly stripping it off and replacing it with the shirt, and then followed suit with the jeans. Kara kept her eyes on the road, but Lena bit back a smile as she noticed the redness creeping up Kara’s neck.

 

            They chatted the whole way there, and Lena listened as Kara told her about what kind of work she would be doing whilst stationed on base. Basking in the warmth of the sun, she listened to Kara’s enthusiastic words, occasionally asking a question. She didn’t ask where they were going, she just watched the neighbourhoods give way to endless trees and countryside.

 

            Eventually Kara turned off the highway and drove for another twenty minutes. Pulling over, she looked over at Lena and smiled. “We’re here!” Kara brightly told her.

 

            “Here? Where?” Lena asked, glancing around at the tree lined road. There wasn’t anything else around.

 

            “We’re going on a picnic!” Kara declared proudly, a smug smile on her face as she looked at Lena.

 

            “A picnic?” Lena raised her eyebrows in surprise.

 

            “Yeah, I just, I figured that maybe you hadn’t been on a picnic before,” Kara smiled hesitantly, trying to judge Lena’s expression.

 

            “That’s … really thoughtful, thank you,” Lena smiled shyly, brushing her hair out of her face as she ducked her head.

 

            Kara’s shoulders dropped slightly as she smiled with relief. She’d been worried that Lena would think it was stupid. Secretly, Lena thought it was dorky, but the hopeful expression on Kara’s face made her happy to go along with Kara’s plans. Besides, she really was touched by how sweet Kara was.

 

            “We’ve got a bit of a hike, but it’s worth it, trust me,” Kara told her, opening the door and climbing out of the car. Lena followed her lead, and watched as Kara pulled a picnic basket out of the trunk, as well as a backpack. Lena took the basket off her and tucked it under her arm, the fingers of her other hand intertwining with Kara’s.

 

            They set off through the trees, and Lena trusted Kara not to get them lost as they followed a trail that she couldn’t see. The path got steeper as they walked up an incline, listening to the birds chirping as sunlight filtered down through the canopy of the tree, sending fractured shadows to the ground.

 

            After half an hour, they came through the other end. All the air rushed out of Lena’s lungs as she took in the view.

 

            They stood in a small, half-moon shaped meadow dotted with pastel coloured flowers. The edge of the meadow fell away to a thirty-foot drop that hugged the side of the river below. Lena walked closer to the edge, looking out at the sprawling countryside spread out before her.

 

            “It’s beautiful,” she whispered breathlessly, her hair whipping around her as a gust of wind blew past.

 

            “I found it by accident one time when I was hiking,” Kara told her, coming to stand next to her. She reached up to tuck Lena’s hair behind her ear, her fingers brushing the side of Lena’s face as she pulled back.

 

            “Well it’s certainly worth the hike,” Lena laughed, backing away from the edge slightly.

 

            Lena set down the basket and Kara unzipped her backpack, pulling out a blanket and spreading it out on the grass. Just close enough to give them a spectacular view, but far enough away from the edge to set their minds at ease.

 

            Kara unbuckled the basket and started unpacking the food.

 

            “So, I have peach or raspberry flavoured water,” Kara said, bringing out the bottles and placing them down. “I didn’t know what kind of sandwiches you liked so I made chicken and salad, with mayonnaise, so it’s kind of a healthy one because I know how you’re all about the healthy stuff. And then I made peanut butter and jelly, just in case you’ve never had one of those, in which case, you definitely have to try, because it’s like _the_ childhood snack.”

 

            Lena leant back on her elbows, her legs extended in front of her, as she watched Kara babble about the contents on the picnic basket with an amused expression on her face. After listing half a dozen more snacks she looked up at Lena with a smile on her face.

 

            “You didn’t have to go through so much trouble,” Lena smiled back, “but it all looks and sounds delicious. You’ll probably be pleased to know that I’ve never had a … what are they called? PB and J? Well I’ve never had one of those, so another first.”

 

            Kara laughed, holding out the flavoured water, “which one would you like?”

 

            Lena picked the peach one, opening the bottle and taking a sip. She looked out at the view, basking in the quiet sounds of nature. The soft trickle of running water far below them. The gentle rustling of the leaves as the wind bushed past them. The muffled buzzing of a nearby bee flying around.

 

            “It’s so peaceful up here,” Lena murmured, closing her eyes and listening.

 

            “Mm,” Kara hummed in agreement.

 

            Lena opened her eyes and saw Kara watching her with her head tilted to the side. Raising one eyebrow in question, Lena sat upright, crossing her legs as she stared back at Kara. She didn’t like people watching her.

 

            “Sorry,” Kara mumbled, her cheeks turning red as she played with her drink’s bottle cap.

 

            “It’s fine, you were just staring,” Lena told her, “very intensely.”

 

            “I just-, you have-, I-, your face,” Kara stammered trying to find the words.

 

            “Yes,” Lena smirked, “I have one of those.”

 

            Kara’s cheeks turned even redder and she smiled down at her lap at Lena’s sarcasm. Rolling her eyes, she looked up at Lena with an embarrassed expression on her face, shrugging her shoulders self-consciously.

 

            “Yes, but I’ve never seen anyone with a face like yours before,” Kara admitted.

 

            Lena bit her lip, her eyebrows raising in surprise. “Oh? Go on.”

 

            Kara let out a groan, burying her head in her hands. “I don’t know, this is embarrassing.”

 

            Lena laughed, leaning forward to encircle Kara’s wrists with her fingers and prying them away from her face. She gently pushed Kara’s glasses back up her nose as they looked at each other, and then lifted her chin with one finger.

 

            “I’ve never seen a face like yours either,” Lena whispered, leaning closing until her lips grazed Kara’s. She pulled back slightly and Kara’s lips trailed after hers, hungry for more. She recaptured Lena’s lips with her own, pushing against them. Lena pulled her closer by the belt loops on her jeans, smiling as Kara straddled her, deepening their kiss.

 

            Lena couldn’t help but notice that Kara’s lips faintly tasted of raspberries from her drink as she ran her tongue along her bottom lip. They broke apart for a second, both breathing heavily as they smiled at each other. Lena felt dizzy, but she knew she hadn’t had enough.

 

            She felt Kara’s fingers wrap around her wrists as she pushed Lena onto her back, pinning her hands down either side of her head. Looking up, Lena stared into Kara’s eyes, marvelling at the colour of them.

 

            “Your eyes,” she whispered, stroking her thumb along Kara’s cheekbone, “they’re incredible.”

 

            Kara let out a quiet laugh, slowly pressing her lips against Lena’s in a teasing kiss that drove Lena mad. She reached up as far as she could to push back against Kara’s lips, but she backed away even more, giving Lena a mischievous grin. Sighing in frustration, Lena flopped back down against the blanket, giving Kara an exasperated look.

 

            Laughing, Kara leant back down, placing a hard kiss on Lena’s lips before leaving a trail down her jawline and neck. Goosebumps broke out on Lena’s skin at the feeling of Kara’s lips brushing her neck.

 

            In one fluid motion, Lena managed to flip them over so that she had Kara pinned beneath her. “Teasing is not nice,” Lena scolded her with a slight smile on her face.

 

            Sitting up, Lena pulled Kara up with her and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. “Now I believe we had a picnic planned?” Lena smirked, looking at the abandoned food.

 

            Kara’s cheeks were flushed pink, and her eyes were sparkling behind her glasses. “Right, food,” she smiled, reaching for two of the fruit and nut bars and handing one to Lena.

 

            “Did you bring your camera?” Lena asked as she opened the bar and took a small bite. Kara nodded, rummaging around in her backpack and coming up with the polaroid. Lena gently took it out of Kara’s hands, flicking the top part up and pointing it at Kara.

 

            “Smile,” she told her, pressing her eye against the hole.

 

            Kara covered her face with a hand, protesting as Lena tried to coax her hand away.

 

            “Come on, you’re always taking photos of things,” Lena pouted.

 

            “Yeah, but not of _me_ ,” Kara argued, “I take pictures of the beautiful things I see around me.”

 

            “Well you’re the beautiful thing I see around me right now so take your hand away and stop spoiling my fun,” Lena commanded, smiling at Kara as she brought the camera back up to her eye. Kara’s stomach did backflips at Lena’s words, and she smiled for the camera, letting Lena take a picture on the count of three.

 

            “Perfect!” Lena declared, smiling proudly down at the picture she had taken. She looked up at Kara with an uncertain look on her face. “Can I keep this one?” she asked, holding up the photo.

 

            “Oh, yeah sure. I mean, if you want to,” Kara said, frowning in confusion. What did Lena want with a picture of her? She didn’t have any photo frames in her apartment, or her office. Kara smile to herself as she watched Lena carefully tuck the photo inside the pocket of her ripped jeans.

 

            They relaxed on the blankets, chatting as the sun traced its way across the sky. Lena ate a sandwich as she silently watched Kara pick daisies, threading them together in a chain. Lifting the chain of daisies, Kara joined the ends together and looked up at Lena.

 

            “Come here,” she said, waving her closer. Lena raised an eyebrow and shifted closer to Kara, giving her a suspicious look. Smiling, Kara placed the circle of flowers on Lena’s head and leant back with a triumphant look on her face.

 

            “A flower crown, really?” Lena laughed, wrinkling her nose at Kara.

 

            “Shh, it looks nice,” Kara hushed her, tilting her head as she looked at Lena. The daises were perched upon her forehead and her eyebrows were raised as she looked at Kara with a sceptical look on her face.

 

            “Stay still,” Kara told her, reaching for her camera and holding it up as Lena groaned. She did as Kara commanded though, and smiled slightly for the camera.

 

            “Your turn,” Lena said, gently taking the flowers off her head and placing them on Kara’s. Taking the camera, Lena held it up to her eye, snapping a quick photo and waiting for it to print. She held the camera and the polaroid out to Kara, her green eyes sparkling as she smiled. Even the small things with Kara made Lena feel alive, feel happier than she could ever remember being. Her ice queen persona melted the instant she so much as laid eyes on or spoke to Kara.

 

\---

 

            They stayed all afternoon, laughing and blushing as they flirted and told stories to each other. When all that was left of the picnic was crumbs, Kara wandered off with her camera, taking pictures of the meadow, the forest, and the view. Lena lay on her stomach, her head propped up by her hands as her eyes followed Kara as she wandered around.

 

            Lena smiled to herself as she watched Kara crouch and angle her body to catch the light in the right way. She was content to watch Kara, and the careful way she photographed what caught her attention, all day. In fact, she was sure she would be happy to watch Kara do anything.

 

            Walking over to the edge of the cliff, Kara snapped a few shots of the countryside spread before them, then switching her attention to the river below. She peered down at the water through the lens, clicking the button. Lena smiled to herself as she saw Kara’s smile of delight at the great photos she was taking.

 

            “No!”

 

            Kara’s shout snapped Lena out of her staring. She scrambled to her feet and hurried over to Kara’s side, her hands grasping Kara as she gave her a once over.

 

            “What’s wrong?!” Lena asked, a slight panic in her voice.

 

            “M-my camera!” Kara cried, looking down at the water, “I-I dropped my camera.”

 

            She looked at Lena, blinking rapidly so that she wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t cry in front of Lena over a camera, but her eyes prickled and a lump formed in her throat as she looked down at the water.

 

            “Um, just … wait here,” Lena said, her hand lingering on Kara’s back for a second longer before she tore it away.

 

            “What are you doing?” Kara called after her, standing at the edge of the cliff with a handful of polaroids.

 

            Lena ignored her as she made her way to the edge of the meadow and set off through the trees. Her carelessness as she followed the edge of the cliff caused her to fall down a couple of times, tripping over tree roots and slipping on fallen leaves. By the time she found a place that would give her easy access to the river, the knees of Kara’s jeans were muddied and her hands were covered in shallow grazes.

 

            Lena slipped off her shoes and Kara’s clothes and carefully lowered herself onto the ledge below. The river wasn’t as far below her here as it had been in the meadow, and Lena let herself dangle from the ledge by her fingertips before dropping the last few feet into the water.

 

            The water was freezing, and Lena let out a yell as the water closed over her head. Coming back up for air, with her teeth chattering, Lena got her bearings. Setting off upstream, Lena battled against the current. After fifteen minutes of struggling against the flow of the river, she heard Kara’s yell above her.

 

            “What are you doing?” Kara voice floated down to her as Lena tread water, smiling back up at her.

 

            “I’m getting your camera for you,” she shouted back, before diving down in search of the camera. The water was mostly clear, and it only took Lena a few dives before she saw the black shape of the camera a few metres back the way she had come. Diving down again, she snagged camera off the riverbed and resurfaced, holding it up with a triumphant smiled on her face.

 

            “I got it!”

 

            She couldn’t make out Kara’s facial expression clearly from this far away, but she could hear her laughter and knew that she would be smiling widely, her eyes sparkling.

 

            Lena set off downstream, this time flowing with the current and making it to the spot she had climbed in in no time. The climb back up was trickier with the camera and the fact that Lena wasn’t tall enough to reach the ledge, but she finally managed to pull herself over the edge of the cliff.

 

            She sat on the ground for a few minutes, catching her breath and shivering as she dried. Not wanting to get her clothes wet, she balled them up and set back off in Kara’s direction, this time being careful where she stepped.

 

            As Lena broke through the tree line she was was still slightly damp, holding her clothes and Kara’s camera with a proud smile on her face. Kara’s face split into a wide smile at the sight of her, and she bounced over in excitement.

 

            “One slightly soggy camera,” Lena announced, presenting Kara with the camera.

 

            “Thank you,” Kara said quietly, smiling down at the camera. It was ruined now but that wasn’t the point; it was her dad’s camera and she still had it. Looking back up at Lena, Kara smiled, brushing away a wet lock of hair stuck to Lena’s face. Leaning in, Kara pressed a quick kiss to Lena’s trembling lips, and drew back, realising that she was freezing. Kara’s cheeks flushed bright red as she realised Lena was stood in front of her, soaking wet and wearing nothing but her very lacy underwear. “Oh! Um, let’s get you dry,” Kara mumbled, taking one of Lena’s hands and dragging her over to the picnic blanket.

 

            Kara quickly packed away the last of the food and draped the blanket around Lena’s shoulders, rubbing her hands up and down Lena’s arms to warm her up. As Lena dried off some more, Kara packed up the rest of the picnic, carefully stowing her camera and photos in her backpack.

 

            “We had better get you home before you catch a cold,” Kara said, frowning slightly. She was filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude and affection at Lena’s actions. For someone who said she didn’t care about people, she had leapt at the opportunity to help Kara, and Kara felt warm inside knowing that Lena cared about her.

 

\---

 

            They were halfway back to the city, listening to the music and eating the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that Kara had made. Kara had been so adamant about Lena trying one that Lena didn’t have the heart to tell her no. Only her hair was wet now, and she sat balled up on the seat wearing Kara’s clothes again as she ate her sandwich.

 

            “Do you like it?” Kara asked, flashing Lena a smile. Lena nodded her head, popping the last piece in her mouth and quickly swallowing it.

 

            It wasn’t until they made it back to Lena’s apartment that Kara realised something was wrong. After a hot shower and a change into some warm pyjamas, Lena had made them both some tea and curled up on the sofa. They were watching a baking show and Lena could feel her lips tingling. Discreetly, Lena itched her hand, pulling the sleeves of her top down.

 

            “Is everything okay?” Kara asked, turning her attention away from the TV at Lena’s fidgeting.

 

            “Yes, it-” Lena began, before Kara’s shout interrupted her.

 

            “WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!” Kara exclaimed in horror, taking in the red welts snaking up Lena’s neck and face.

 

            “I-, um, well I-, the thing is,” Lena stammered, nervously laughing as she brushed her hair out of her face. “I might have a slight peanut allergy that makes me break out in hives.”

 

            “I-, you-, what!” Kara spluttered, spilling a bit of her tea in her lap as she looked at Lena in shock.

 

            “It’s fine, it just makes me itchy. I’m not going to go into anaphylactic shock or anything,” Lena shrugged, looking embarrassed as she took a sip of her tea.

 

            “You ate a peanut butter sandwich and you’re allergic to peanuts,” Kara groaned in disbelief, looking at Lena with wide eyes. “What is _wrong_ with you? Why would you do that! Do you know how stupid that was!”

 

            Lena shrugged, “you were really excited for me to try one and I didn’t have the heart to tell you.”

 

            “Oh my God,” Kara muttered, throwing her head back against the sofa and closing her eyes. She took a deep breath, trying to reign her anger in. Titling her head back down she looked at Lena was an exasperated look on her face. “Was it even worth it?” she asked, raising her eyebrows in question.

 

            Lena hesitated, giving Kara a sheepish smile as she shrugged. “It was actually kind of disgusting,” she admitted, wrinkling her nose at the memory of it.

 

            “You ate ALL of it!” Kara yelled.

 

            “Well yeah, I didn’t want to be rude,” Lena laughed, itching her neck.

 

            “Miss Luthor, you are something else,” Kara sighed, taking hold of one of Lena’s hands.

 

\---

 

            Kara left her that night with a body full of hives and an itchy feeling all over. She shook her head and sighed as she looked at Lena before she left, giving her tingling lips one last goodbye kiss. Lena walked back inside with Kara’s camera she’d just coaxed off her. Staring down at it she wondered where she would be able to buy new parts for it. She’d told Kara that she would take a look at it and see if it was salvageable, knowing the sentimental value it held for Kara. Sighing, she put it down on the kitchen counter, leaving it for tomorrow as she scratched at her neck.

 

            Lena was almost regretting eating that damn sandwich, but couldn’t bring herself to when she thought about Kara’s childlike enthusiasm in the car. She may have been pissed now, but those few moments when she had been excited made up for it. Lena reminded herself to not be stupid enough to eat peanuts again though, no matter which pretty girl it was.


	10. Chapter 10

            Lena called in sick the next day. Her stomach was aching slightly from the peanut butter, and it was Monday so she could hardly be bothered meeting with business associates this early on in the week. Instead, she’d catch up on some unfinished paperwork from the comfort of her own office. After she’d made one stop of course.

 

            First things first, Lena messaged Kara. Even though she would already be on her way to work, if not already at work, Lena still wanted Kara to know that she was thinking about her.

 

_Have a good first day back at work, Sergeant. I hope everything goes smoothly. I’ll see you tonight x_

 

            Lena went to shower and get ready. The earlier she got to the shop, the more time she would have before Kara finished work. She dressed quickly and met her driver downstairs, giving him directions to the shop she’d found last night.

 

\---

 

            The bell above the door rang as Lena opened the door, announcing her arrival. Walking through the shelves of cameras and photography equipment, Lena made her way towards the counter. A bored looking guy stood behind the counter, scrolling through his phone. Lena cleared her throat when the guy didn’t acknowledge her. He sighed, looking up from his phone.

 

            “Can I help you?” he asked in a monotonous voice. Lena raised an eyebrow at his tone, looking at him with disdain. Reaching into her bag, she brought out Kara’s camera and placed it gently on the counter.

 

            “I’m looking for parts for this model,” Lena told him, crossing her arms as she stared at him.

 

            “Polaroid cameras are in that direction,” he pointed to Lena’s left.

 

            “Great, so do you have any parts for this model?” Lena asked, growing impatient by his attitude.

 

            Sighing, the guy straightened up, looking at Lena with an annoyed look on his face. “Look, that cameras ancient, you’d be better off buying a new one,” he told her, before turning his attention back to his phone.

 

            Lena banged one hand down on the counter, making the guy jump. He looked up at her in shock, his phone falling out of his hands and onto the counter. “You listen. If I wanted a new camera I’d buy one,” Lena snapped, her face like stone. “So how about you you do your job and help me instead of playing on your phone?”

 

            The guy gave Lena a sullen look, disappearing out the back and reappearing a few minutes later with a few broken cameras. “These are the same model, they don’t work but if you take them apart you can reuse the parts that work,” he muttered.

 

            “Great, how much?” Lena asked, pulling her purse out of her bag.

 

            She left a few minutes later, the bell ringing as she walked out and slide into the back seat of her waiting car. She smiled to herself, happy that she’d been able to get parts for Kara’s camera and a packet of polaroids for the camera. Now, she just hoped she could get it to work again.

 

\---

 

            Back at her apartment, Lena was sat behind her desk, surrounded by unassembled pieces of cameras. There was an open tutorial on the computer screen in front of her, and Lena stared intently at it whilst she removed the gears from Kara’s camera. Luckily the camera had dried out overnight, so the plastic pieces were salvageable. In front of her was a spread of wires and metal gears.

 

            She worked all afternoon on the camera, determined to get it working again. Her paperwork was piled on the chair opposite her desk, forgotten as the camera took up all of Lena’s attention. She had put it together three times, growing increasingly frustrated as each assembling of the camera turned out to be fruitless. It wasn’t until almost four o’clock that she finally managed to get Kara’s camera full of working pieces.

 

            Pointing the lens of the camera towards her, Lena smiled, giving the camera a thumbs up as she snapped a photo to see if it was working. She gave out a triumphant yell when this time the flash went off and a square film printed out of the bottom. She smiled widely down at the film, hiding it under the desk so that the film was in darkness. Bringing it back out she saw her face smiling back up at her.

 

            As she brushed all the leftover pieces from the other cameras into a box, Lena thought about how she couldn’t wait for Kara to finish work so she could surprise her.

 

\---

 

            Lena got a text off Kara when she finished work at six, telling her it went well and she’d be at her place as soon as she could. Smiling, Lena rang Kara’s favourite Chinese restaurant, placing a delivery for half an hour so that the food would get here just before Kara did.

 

            Forty minutes later there was a knock on Lena’s door, and she leapt up from the sofa, rushing to open the door. And there was Kara, dressed in her camouflage patterned shirt and pants and black, shiny boots. Lena smirked at Kara as she gave her a salute.

 

            “Sergeant,” Lena laughed as Kara rolled her eyes.

 

            “Hi,” Kara smiled, kissing Lena on the cheek as she walked inside, “I brought Chinese food.” Kara held up the plastic bag filled with little takeaway cartons. Lena bit her lip, trying not to laugh as she took Kara’s hand and lead her down the hallway.

 

            “What a coincidence,” Lena said, pulling Kara out into the kitchen, “I also got Chinese food.”

 

            Kara laughed, taking in the candlelit table dotted with the same white cartons she held in her hand. “Amazing, now I can have twice as many potstickers,” Kara smiled enthusiastically at Lena, kissing her cheek again.

 

            “Just one second,” Lena told her, holding up one finger as she slipped into her office. She came back out with her hands hid behind her back, an excited smile on her face.

 

            “I have a gift for you,” Lena smiled, bringing out the camera from behind her back and flicking the front up, before putting it up to her eye.

 

            “No way! You fixed it!” Kara squealed with excitement, her face lit up with happiness.

 

            “Yes, now give me a salute,” Lena ordered, laughing as Kara snapped to attention with a big smile on her face. She bounced over to Lena’s side as soon as the camera started printing, clinging to Lena’s arm as she smiled. Looking down at the perfectly printed photo of herself, Kara looked up at Lena, her eyes crinkling at the corners and sparkling slightly as she was filled with happiness.

 

            “Thank you so much, this means more to me than you know,” Kara murmured.

 

            Lena brushed the side of Kara’s face, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. “I know how much it means to you,” Lena corrected her, knowing that the sentimental value of the camera was worth more than the function, and was Kara’s sole reason for taking up photography.

 

            “Now, come and sit down and tell me about your day,” Lena ordered, gently spinning Kara around and guiding her over to one of the chairs. She sat down opposite and pulled the closest carton of noodles towards her, dumping some on her plate. She smiled as she watched Kara dig straight into the potstickers.

 

            “It was good! It feels so long since I’ve been on base,” Kara started, adding more food to her plate.

 

            “Oh yeah! I’m a Drill Sergeant!” She proclaimed proudly, buzzing with excitement as she smiled at Lena.

 

            “That’s great!” Lena enthused, smiling slightly at Kara’s enthusiasm.

 

            “Yeah! They’re so bad though,” Kara laughed, twirling her fork around in some noodles. “Fort Rozz is a training facility so it’s all the new recruits. They can’t even march properly, like I swear I wasn’t that bad when I first enlisted.”

 

            “Usually the Drill Sergeant stays on base, but they have this other Drill Sergeant who has been overseeing their training, but he was out for the day so they let me take over. There’s so much shouting though! I’m surprised I can still talk.”

  

            Lena nodded as she listened to Kara explain, finding herself intrigued by what she was saying. She was also happy that Kara was so excited, but a small part of her was concerned about how long Kara would be on base.

 

            “I got to spend most of my day with Winn though so it was good. We had to do a lot of maintenance and repairs on our equipment, you know, getting ready for when we get shipped ou-” Kara cut off then, realising that Lena wasn’t smiling anymore.

 

            “It’s-, I-I’m not going to be going for a while,” Kara whispered, reaching across the table to touch the back of Lena’s hand.

 

            “It’s fine,” Lena shrugged, “I don’t expect you to change your plans because we’ve know each other for what, two months? It’s … whatever.”

 

            “Don’t do that,” Kara frowned as she stared at Lena, who was avoiding her gaze.

 

            “Do what?” Lena asked, feigning ignorance.

 

            Sighing, Kara picking up one of Lena’s hands, giving it a squeeze. “Don’t brush me off because you’re upset.”

 

            “I’m not upset,” Lena replied, a bit too fast. Kara was silent for a moment, as she looked at Lena with a concerned look on her face.

 

            “It’ll be months at least,” Kara explained, “I was deployed for four months, that means I get eight serving on base. We still have over five months.”

 

            Lena gave her a sad smile. Five months. That seemed like a long time when she thought about the future, but in the grand scheme of things, that was no time at all. What would happen then? Kara would get sent back to Afghanistan, or maybe Iraq this time. She’d be gone for months, and Lena would be left by herself, maybe talking to her once a day if she was lucky.

 

            “I just-, you don’t ... you don’t have to do this. We can just stop it here, before it gets serious,” Kara told Lena, her voice and shoulders tense as she said the words. It killed her to say them, but she would rather Lena take the out now before things got hard. It would be easier for them both.

 

            Lena looked up at her quickly, her eyebrows drawn together in a frown and her jaw tightening.

 

            “You’re mad,” Kara stated, taking in Lena’s expression.

 

            “Well yes,” Lena agreed, letting out a sharp laugh, “I-, you-“

 

            She let out a frustrated sigh. “You assume that I’ll run at the first opportunity. I get it, I’m not good at this. I don’t have much experience with this. I have issues deeper than you could possibly imagine … but I’m trying. I’m trying for you, and it hurts that you think that it’s not serious, when I’ve never wanted to try before. Until I met you.”

 

            Kara opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to find the right words. She got up and walked around the table, crouching down in front of Lena and taking her face in her hands.

 

            “I-I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry. I know you’re trying, and that’s why I don’t want you to get hurt. But I don’t _want_ you to go, I never want you to go. You-, I … I take it seriously, okay? I wasn’t sure if you did, but I take it very seriously and that’s what scares me.”

 

            Lena reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind Kara’s ear, meeting Kara’s serious gaze. “Okay,” Lena murmured.

 

            “Okay?” Kara echoed, frowning as she waited for Lena to elaborate.

 

            “Yes, okay! Now get off the floor and eat your food before it gets cold,” Lena smiled slightly, giving Kara a quick kiss.

 

            “Oh, right,” Kara mumbled, slightly confused as she sat back in her seat and dug back into her food. “So … we’re okay?” she asked for clarification.

 

            Sighing, Lena rolled her eyes and smiled softly at Kara. “Yes, we’re good. I just-, I’m glad to know we’re on the same page. Everything else will work itself out.”

 

            Kara nodded in agreement, feeling better as she popped another potsticker in her mouth. Lena felt better too, she wasn’t lying when she said that she was glad they were on the same page. A part of her had been worried that she was getting too attached to Kara, filling the empty feeling inside her with the only person she had, and Kara wasn’t feeling the same way. She felt relieved to know that no matter what, Kara intended to stay, to know that she took it as serious as Lena did.

 

            She didn’t want to rush into things by any means, but to know that they would be okay was enough to calm Lena’s uneasiness. When it was time for Kara to be deployed again, they would be okay, they’d figure it out.

 

\---

 

            They spent the rest of the night catching up on TV shows Kara was behind on. Only the ones Kara hadn’t promised to watch with Alex though. Kara lay curled up in some of Lena’s borrowed clothes, her head resting in Lena’s lap as she faced the screen. Lena smiled down at Kara, absentmindedly tracing gentle circles on Kara’s arm as she forgot to pay attention to the screen.


	11. Chapter 11

            Lena woke up early on Sunday, feeling tired from her late night last night. She’d spent all day with Kara, it being the first full day they’d been able to spend together all week, and they’d stayed up late, talking for hours. Groaning, Lena dragged herself out of bed, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep, and knowing that she’d need a lot of coffee to make it through the day.

 

            She stifled a yawn as she frowned down at the email she was reading on her phone, eyeing the coffee as it slowly dripped into the pot. Her reading was interrupted when her phone screen lit up with Kara’s name, and Lena hurried to answer the call.

 

            “Morning,” she mumbled, rubbing at her tired eyes.

 

 _“Good morning!”_ Kara’s cheerful voice sang back _, “I didn’t wake you did I?”_

 

            “No, I was already up,” Lena replied, lunging for the coffee as soon as it was ready.

 

 _“Good! You really should sleep more though,”_ Kara told her,a faint sigh coming over the phone _._

 

            “Yes Sergeant,” Lena laughed.

 

 _“So, the reason I was calling is because my sister and I always have this Sunday roast dinner thing on the last Sunday of the month, so she’s inviting her girlfriend Maggie over, and I was wondering if you’d like to come too?”_ Kara asked hesitantly _._

 

            “Dinner? At your sister’s place?” Lena double-checked, her stomach tying itself into knots at the thought of meeting Kara’s sister.

 

_“Yeah! It’ll just be the four of us, and like, I’ve told Alex a lot about you of course so she really wants to meet you. Maggie will be there too, but I thought this might be a good way to meet my sister.”_

 

            Lena could hear the worry in Kara’s voice. This obviously meant a lot to her, which meant that it was important to Lena. “Of course! Dinner sounds great!” Lena replied as enthusiastically as she could.

 

            “Did you want me to come over early and help you … well not cook, but like I can chop something. I’m getting pretty good with a knife now,” she told Kara, laughing at her own expense.

 

_“Sure! Alex has to go into work for a bit anyway, so I’ll be cooking by myself.”_

 

            “So, shall we say eleven?” Lena asked.

 

            “ _Perfect!_ ” Kara enthusiastically agreed.

 

            “Great. Would you like me to bring anything?” Lena asked.

 

 _“No, just you will be perfect,”_ Kara told her _,_ her voice sounding shy _._

 

            “I insist. How about I bring dessert?” Lena asked, hurrying to add, “I’ll buy it of course.”

 

Laughing _,_ Kara relented _. “Okay, fine. If you insist.”_

 

            “Any preferences?” Lena asked. “Wait, don’t tell me. I’ll sort it out.”

 

 _“Okay, I’ll see you later,”_ Kara laughed _._

 

\---

 

            At dead on eleven, Lena knocked on the door to the apartment number Kara had given her. She was relaxed for now, knowing that Alex wouldn’t be home yet, so at least she could put off the inevitable for a little while longer.

 

            Kara opened the door with a smile on her face. She had her shirtsleeves rolled up and she was wearing an apron to protect her clothes from the mess of cooking. “Hi!” she beamed down at Lena.

 

            “Hi,” Lena replied, leaning in and giving Kara a quick kiss. She pulled back and smiled slightly as she took in Kara’s surprised expression.

 

            “Come on in,” Kara told her, opening the door wider and letting Lena pass her before shutting the door. Lena let Kara take the cardboard boxes out of her hands and set them on the counter, before taking her coat off and hanging it up on the rack. She slipped her shoes off and left them beside the door.

 

            “It’s chocolate pecan pie,” Lena told Kara, tapping the top of the box. “And the other one is apple pie, just as an alternative. I head it’s a classic American dessert, so if that’s on your list you can cross it off.”

 

            Kara laughed, grabbing Lena’s hand and pulling her closer. “Chocolate pecan pie is my favourite,” she whispered, smiling at Lena as she placed a gentle kiss of her lips.

 

            “I know. I got it specially from that little bakery you like on twenty-second,” Lena told her, smiling back up at her. “I also brought wine, just in case.”

 

            “You really didn’t have to go through so much effort,” Kara told Lena, taking the bottle of wine she had just pulled out of her bag and was holding out to Kara.

 

            “It’s no trouble at all,” Lena smiled, “now, where do you want me to start?” She walked over to the sink and rolled the sleeves of her shirt up before washing her hands.

 

            “Um, how about you peel the potatoes?” Kara suggested, opening a draw and pulling out a knife and vegetable peeler for Lena.

 

            They both got to work, chopping, peeling and chatting as they prepared the dinner. Time passed quickly, and as soon the food was prepared and cooking. Kara made them both some coffee, and they sat around the table, talking whilst they waited for the food to be ready.

 

            Just before four, Lena was watching Kara carve the chicken when she heard the sound of a key in the lock of the door. She felt a lump form in her throat as she waited for Alex to walk inside. The nervous feeling in her stomach was unfamiliar to Lena; she ran a multi-billion-dollar company, yet the thought of meeting Kara’s sister had set her on edge.

 

            She stared at the door as it opened and Alex walked in. Lena knew they weren’t biological sisters, but still, the difference between them was shocking. Reddish brown hair cut to above her shoulders, a black leather jacket, and warm brown eyes; so different to Kara. Just looking at the physical differences, Lena could tell that they were complete opposites, much like she and Kara were.

 

            “Hey!” Kara beamed from where she stood carving the chicken.

 

            “Hey,” Alex replied, her gaze sliding from her sister over to Lena. She had her hands on her hips as she surveyed Lena from across the room, and Lena lifted her chin as she stood her ground.

 

            “You must be Lena,” Alex said by way of greeting, walking further into her apartment. Lena wiped her hands on a dish towel before walking around the kitchen counters and moved closer to Alex.

 

            “And you must be Alex,” Lena replied, extending a hand towards her. Alex shook her hand and they both sized each other up. “It’s nice to meet you.”

 

            “Likewise,” Alex said, letting go of Lena’s hand. “Kara’s told me a lot about you.”

 

            “Good things I hope,” Lena said, turning around to raise an eyebrow at Kara, who shot her an innocent look.

 

            “Of course,” Alex smirked, “I don’t need to hide the peanut butter do I?”

 

            Lena sighed, willing herself not to blush at Alex’s teasing. Kara laughed from the kitchen, scolding her sister for teasing Lena. Alex rolled her eyes, smiling at Kara affectionately.

 

            “I’m just messing,” Alex laughed, “can I get you a drink, Lena?”

 

            “I’m fine thank you,” Lena waved away her offer. She was feeling slightly less nervous now that introductions were out of the way, and whilst she had prickled slightly at Alex’s teasing, she felt more comfortable for it.

 

            “Maggie should be here soon, she called and told me she was on her way,” Alex told Kara, moving into the kitchen to get herself a drink. She shrugged out of her jacket and flopped down on the sofa.

 

            “Make yourself at home, Lena,” Alex told her, gesturing to the empty space next to her. At Alex’s invitation, Lena perched on the edge of the seat, trying to relax.

 

            “So, tell me about yourself,” Alex began, ignoring Kara’s groans as she walked over from the kitchen and sat down.

 

            “It’s not an interrogation, Alex. Can you please be off duty tonight?” Kara asked, sounding exasperated.

 

            “I’m just trying to get to know Lena better,” Alex said defensively, shooting her sister a slight frown.

 

            “It’s fine,” Lena said, patting Kara on the knee before turning her attention to Alex.

 

            “Well, I um, I run my family’s business,” Lena began hesitantly.

 

            “Yes, I’m familiar with L-Corp,” Alex interjected, ignoring Kara’s wide-eyed look of irritation.

 

            “Right. Well, I don’t … talk to my family. It-it’s just my mom, but we’re … estranged,” Lena explained, feeling uncomfortable as she tried to defend herself without excusing the unspoken situation with her brother. “I was adopted by the Luthor’s when I was four. I went to boarding school. I have a degree in engineering and in business. I moved to national city after … everything that happened … and that’s basically it.”

 

            “That’s it?” Alex echoed, raising an eyebrow at Lena.

 

            “Yes, that’s it, now can we move on please,” Kara rushed out, trying to steer the conversation away from the interrogation she was witnessing.

 

            “My life is utterly boring,” Lena shrugged at Alex. “I don’t … have friends.” She winced at how pathetic that sounded, even though it was true. It wasn’t as if she made an effort though; her walls were so high that she kept everyone out. Except Kara apparently.

 

            She was saved from having to further explain by a knock on the door, signifying Maggie’s arrival. Alex leapt up to answer the door, a smile appearing on her face at the arrival of her girlfriend. Maggie came in and greeted Kara, all dimples as she smiled.

 

            “And you must be the girlfriend,” Maggie smiled, turning her attention to Lena. Kara, who had just taken a sip of her drink, spluttered at Maggie’s words.

 

            Coughing, she looked at Lena in alarm. “Well actually-“

 

            Lena lifted her chin as she looked at Maggie. “Yes, Lena. You must be Maggie, it’s lovely to meet you,” Lena replied, getting up from her seat to shake Maggie’s hand.

 

            “Mmm, yes. It’s nice to finally meet the person Kara won’t shut up about,” Maggie grinned at Lena.

 

            “Maggie!” Kara protested, shooting Lena an apologetic look.

 

            “Did you hide the peanut butter?” Maggie asked Kara.

 

            “Ha! I already beat you to it!” Alex yelled from the kitchen, sounding triumphant at having made the joke first. Kara put her head in her hands, flushing pink with embarrassment as she mumbled an apology to Lena. Much to her surprise, Lena found herself letting out a quick laugh. She felt oddly comfortable with the teasing and sisterly bickering; something she’d never had with Lex.

 

            “I’ll get dinner ready,” Kara sighed, pushing herself off the sofa and back towards the kitchen.

 

            “Would you like me to lay the table?” Lena offered, and Alex quickly protested, stating that she would do it, seeing as Lena had helped prepare dinner.

 

            Soon, the four of them were sat around the table with a glass of wine each. They all piled food onto their plates, and Lena noticed how delicious it all looked, thanks to Kara’s skills.

 

            “So … who cooked the chicken?” Alex asked, the piece on her fork help midway to her mouth as she smirked, looking back and forth between Kara and Lena. Choking on her mouthful of food, Lena flushed red as she shot Kara an accusatory look.

 

            “Alex! Don’t be rude!” Kara scolded her, frowning at the teasing. She glanced at Lena with a look of worry, and Lena rolled her eyes.

 

            “It’s a joke Kara, I think I’ll survive … and so will everyone else, because luckily you cooked the chicken,” Lena laughed, quickly touching the back of Kara’s hand to reassure her that she was fine.

 

            “See! She has a sense of humour,” Maggie added, flashing her dimples as she joined in on Lena’s laughter.

 

\---

 

            Dinner passed in much the same fashion, with Alex and Maggie poking fun at everyone around the table, including themselves. Lena enjoyed herself more than she had originally planned. She’d only come to make Kara happy, but Alex and Maggie’s easy nature had eased Lena’s nerves.

 

            Kara excitedly pulled the two pies out of the fridge, ready to dig into the chocolate pecan one. Pulling out some bowls, she pulled open the freezer and let out a sigh.

 

            “We don’t have any ice-cream,” Kara grimaced, shutting the door again.

 

            “That’s okay, we can just quickly go to the nearest store,” Lena told her, jerking her head towards the door.

 

            “No!” Maggie almost shouted, “um, I’ll go with Kara … you already bought the desserts.” Lena noticed the conspiratorial glance that Maggie and Alex shared, and sighed internally. It looked like she was about to get the classic shovel talk she’d seen in those romcom films Kara had been making her watch. She wondered if that was on Kara’s list too.

 

            “Um,” Kara hesitated, unsure whether or not she should leave Lena alone with Alex.

 

            “Sure, no problem,” Lena agreed with Maggie, giving Kara a reassuring nod. Giving in, Kara grabbed her coat off the coatrack and gave Alex a warning look before she slipped out the door behind Maggie.

 

            Alone with Alex, Lena was unsure where they should start. In business she found that direct was the best approach, and decided to employ that here. “So, should we do the dishes whilst you get whatever you have to say off your chest?” Lena suggested, heading into the kitchen.

 

            Alex laughed at her bluntness, following her to the kitchen and running the hot water to fill the sink. “Sounds good,” she agreed with Lena, “you wash and I’ll dry.”

 

            They were silent for a few moments, as Lena scrubbed at a plate, waiting for Alex to talk.

 

            “So,” Alex began, wiping a knife dry and putting it back in a drawer. “You like her?”

 

            “Well, yes,” Lena said as if it was obvious. Alex was silent and Lena peeked at her out of the corner of her eye, taking in the lips pressed together and the slight crease between Alex’s eyebrows. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach and she dreaded the next words out of Alex’s mouth, so she cut her off before they came.

 

            “Is this the part where you tell me I’m not good enough for her and give me the shovel talk?” Lena asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but not completely succeeding. Alex looked taken aback as she looked at Lena in surprise.

 

            “No,” Alex scoffed. “I trust her to make her own decisions, she’s an adult, and she’s smart. But of course, I want the best for her …”

 

            “So do I,” Lena agreed, handing Alex a now clean pot.

 

            “Good,” Alex nodded, “and do you think you’re what’s best for her?”

 

            Lena hesitated, and decided to be honest. “No.”

 

            Alex looked at her in surprise again. “No?”

 

            “She-, I don’t think anyone deserves her. She’s good, and pure, and she’s everything sweet in the world. I could live a thousand lifetimes and not deserve her,” Lena admitted, shrugging slightly.

 

            “Why? Because of your brother?” Alex asked, raising one of her eyebrows in question.

 

            “I-, no, it-“ Lena sighed in frustration, “I have a lot of problems, some of it to do with my family, and some of it to do with me as a person. My personality … I just, I find it hard to … get close to people. I wasn’t made for … this.”

 

            “For love?” Alex snorted, taking a plate off Lena.

 

            “Well … yes,” Lena admitted, clearing her throat as she looked down at the bubbles in the sink.

 

            Alex turned to look at her, frowning at Lena as she crossed her arms over her chest. Lena uselessly held the soapy plate out to Alex, who ignored her.

 

            “I don’t think that’s true. Kara’s told me a lot about you, we don’t keep secrets. You’re a smart girl, Lena, and you won’t let yourself get hurt, but she won’t hurt you, that’s not who she is. Like you said, she’s good and she’s pure, and sometimes that worries me. Like when she brings home a pretty girl,” Alex gave Lena a knowing look.

 

            “She’s too … naïve sometimes, too trusting. I think, maybe, you _are_ good enough for her, you balance her out. You don’t know what she was like as a kid, when she was adopted. She doesn’t have a life outside of the army, she doesn’t have friends outside of it. Since she’s met you she’s changed. She’s always been … an optimist, maybe a romantic? I don’t know … but she just seems happier now, in a different way, and that’s because of you.”

 

            “I just-, I guess what I wanted to tell you is please don’t break her heart, okay?” Alex told her.

 

            “Oh …” Lena softly exclaimed in surprise. “Well this wasn’t exactly the direction I saw this conversation going,” Lena admitted, an amused expression on her face. She was slightly perplexed by Alex’s words, and a part of her felt choked up at Alex’s admittance that she thought she was good enough for Kara. Lena couldn’t remember ever hearing that she was good enough for anything, and she was more grateful for Alex’s words than she would ever admit out loud.  

 

            “I won’t mark you as dead and buried yet, Luthor,” Alex laughed, uncrossing her arms as she took the plate Lena was still holding. “I can’t say I know you, but actually, I do like you.”

 

            “Likewise,” Lena agreed.

 

\---

 

            Kara and Maggie returned not much later with a tub of vanilla ice-cream, and they all dug into their dessert, chatting around the table. Kara kept shooting quizzical glances at Lena and Alex, trying to figure out what they had been talking about whilst she was gone.

 

            When it was time for Lena to leave, she gave Alex and Maggie warm goodbyes, and received similar responses and promises to see her soon. Outside the door of the apartment, she kissed Kara goodnight.

 

            “I had a really good time, thank you for inviting me,” she whispered, smiling at Kara.

 

            “I’m glad you came,” Kara smiled back at her, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “And listen, if Alex said anything to you, can you just ignore it.”

 

            Lena let out a small laugh. “We had a good talk about things I’ll keep to myself for now, but I like your sister,” Lena reassured Kara.

 

            She gave her another kiss before leaving, her lips lingering as long as possible before breaking it off and heading downstairs to her waiting car.


	12. Chapter 12

            “Miss Luthor?” Jess said, peeking her head into Lena’s office. Looking up from her computer screen, Lena raised an eyebrow in question. “Miss Danvers is here to see you.”

 

            “Let her in,” Lena told Jess as she pushed her chair back and stood up.

 

            A few moments later, Kara walked into the office wearing her uniform. Smiling widely, she presented Lena with a bouquet of flowers and a kiss.

 

            “They’re beautiful, thank you,” Lena smiled, placing a quick kiss to the back of Kara’s hand. She got the nearby jug of water and popped the bouquet in it, before taking Kara’s hand and leading her over to the sofa.

 

            “I wasn’t expecting you this early, I thought you’d go home first,” Lena said, tucking a loose strand of Kara’s hair back behind her ear.

 

            “I-I missed you,” Kara shyly replied, ducking her head as she blushed slightly. Lena let out a quiet laugh, gently lifting Kara’s chin until she was looking into her eyes. Leaning in, Lena captured Kara’s lips in a kiss.

 

            “Well I, for one, am glad,” Lena murmured as she trailed kiss along Kara’s jaw and down her neck, smiling as she felt Kara’s breathing hitch. Making her way back up, Lena let her teeth graze Kara’s earlobe, pulling back and laughing when Kara’s stomach growled loudly. Kara gave her an embarrassed smile.

 

            “Hungry?” Lena asked, smiling back at Kara. “What do you want for dinner? We can eat out, or go back to my place.”

 

            “Hmmm, how about both. We can pick up something on the way back to yours,” Kara suggested.

 

            “Sounds great, let me just pack up,” Lena told her, giving her a quick kiss before standing up.

 

\---

 

            Back at Lena’s place, they were eating pizza in front of the TV, talking and half paying attention to the film Kara had switched over to as they ate. Lena felt Kara’s gaze at her and turned to face her, raising her eyebrows in question as she bit into her slice of pizza.

 

            “Um, I was … never mind,” Kara shrugged, turning her attention back to the pizza and the film. Lena gave Kara a bemused look but didn’t press the matter, knowing that Kara would tell her when she was ready.

 

            A few minutes later, at the sound of Kara clearing her throat, Lena turned to face her again.

 

            “So, um, about the other day at Alex’s,” Kara started, shifting so that she was facing Lena head-on.

 

            “Mhm,” Lena mumbled, signally for Kara to continue.

 

            “Well … it’s just, um, something Maggie said … about you being, well, my girlfriend,” Kara pressed on, her head tilted to the side as she looked at Lena. “We, ugh, we haven’t talked about that before and I, um, was just wondering …”

 

            She trailed off and Lena frowned at her in confusion. “Oh, well, are we not dating?” she asked Kara, wondering if she’d been wrong to say yes when Maggie had asked. A feeling of dread filled Lena, wondering if maybe she had been getting ahead of herself. She wasn’t sure how things were supposed to go in a relationship, but knew that she was already in too deep with Kara. Perhaps they weren’t on the same page with this. Lena tensed up, reading to build her walls back up at Kara’s next words.

 

            “Oh!” Kara softly exclaimed in surprise. “Well I mean, yeah, we are. I just didn’t want to … push you … to, you know, put a, uh, label on it.” Kara looked down at her lap and rubbed the back of her neck nervously as she spoke.

 

            “You know I’m not going to run away, right?” Lena asked, laying her hand on Kara’s knee. Kara looked up and gave her a small smile.

 

            “I’ll be honest, I’m … scared,” Lena admitted, “you know I don’t get close to people, but you’re different. I’ve never had anyone like you before. and I think it would ... break my heart if I left now.”

 

            “It would break mine too,” Kara whispered, giving Lena a sad smile that crinkled the corner of her eyes slightly. Putting the crust of her slice of pizza back in the empty box and wiping her hands clean, Lena gestured for Kara to come closer.

 

            Curled up next to Lena, with her head on her chest, Kara felt safe. She listened to Lena’s steady heartbeat, and closed her eyes as Lena trailed patterns on Kara’s back. Wearing some of Lena’s borrowed clothes, Kara was surrounded by the comforting smell of Lena’s washing detergent and her perfume. Exhausted after a busy day of work, and feeling safe and warm next to Lena, Kara slowly drifted off to sleep, followed soon after by Lena.

 

\---

 

            Lena jerked herself awake. The TV was still on and she could see it was pitch black outside through the skylight above her. Fast asleep, with her head on Lena’s chest, was Kara. Lena smiled down at her, gently running her thumb along Kara’s cheekbone. Looking down at her watch, Lena checked them time, realising it was almost midnight. Sighing, she gently shook Kara awake.

 

            “Kara,” Lena whispered, smiling when Kara made an annoyed groan. She called her name again, and Kara’s eyes gently fluttered open. She sat up, frowning in confusion as she looked around the room. Looking at Lena, she rubbed her eyes.

 

            “What time is it?” Kara mumbled, still half asleep.

 

            “Almost twelve,” Lena whispered, “come on, let's go to bed.”

 

            Her eyes still half shut, Kara let Lena pull her up and lead her to her bedroom. Lena pulled the covers back and Kara fell into bed. Fumbling towards her closet, Lena got changed into some pyjamas in the dark, before slipping into bed next to Kara. She couldn’t see her in the blackness of the room, but Lena could feel her on the other side of the bed.

 

            “Goodnight,” Lena whispered, even though Kara was already asleep again.

 

            Rolling over, Lena closed her eyes, jumping slightly when an arm flopped over her as Kara rolled over, mumbling in her sleep. Smiling to herself, Lena drifted off to sleep with Kara pressed up against her back.

 

\---

 

            Lena woke up to light streaming into her room and the sound of rain hitting the window. The sun hadn’t fully risen yet, indicating that it was still early, and Lena groaned at her having forgotten to close her curtains before going to sleep.

 

            She could feel the warmth of Kara pressed up next to her, and gently rolled over, trying not to disturb her. Kara was still fast asleep, her mouth open as she breathed in and out. Lena bit back a laugh as she took in the glasses perched at a wonky angle on Kara’s face where she’d forgotten to take them off last night.

 

            As if she felt Lena’s stare, Kara’s eyes fluttered open. She bolted upright, and bumped her forehead on Lena’s chin.

 

            “Shit!” Lena hissed, rubbing her chin.

 

            “Oh God! I’m so sorry,” Kara apologised, rubbing her forehead as she winced. She looked up at Lena who was staring back at her, and gave her a sheepish smile. Lena surprised them both and burst out laughing, and Kara quickly joined in, flopping back down on her back.

 

            “Good morning,” Lena smiled, hovering above Kara as she leant down to kiss her.

 

            “Mm, it is,” Kara agreed, smiling up at Lena. “Your eyes are especially green in the morning; did you know that?” Kara told Lena, her fingers lightly brushing the side of Lena’s face.

 

            “It’s funny you should mention that, because I do, in fact, have green eyes,” Lena smirked, leaning down to place another kiss on Kara’s lips.

 

            “Always so sarcastic,” Kara sighed, shaking her head with an amused look on her face. Lena laughed, sitting up and brushing her hair out of her face.

 

            “Coffee?” Lena asked, stretching as she stood up. Kara nodded, stifling a yawn as she rolled out of bed and followed Lena to the kitchen.

 

            Lena put on a pot of coffee, and smiled as she felt Kara’s hands on her waist. Spinning around in her arms, she looked up at Kara and was met with her lips. Lena shivered with pleasure as Kara’s hands explored her body and her lips left hot kisses along her collarbone.

 

            “If this is the good morning I get, you should stay over more often,” Lena laughed breathlessly as Kara pulled back.

 

            “Sorry about that, I guess I was more tired than I thought,” Kara said, wrinkling her nose as she gave Lena an apologetic smile.

 

            “You don’t need to apologise,” Lena replied, giving Kara a small smile. “I-, you-, um, it was actually nice to wake up next to someone,” Lena admitted, blushing slightly as she turned around and busied herself with pouring the fresh coffee into two mugs.

 

            Kara took the cup that Lena offered her, still smiling from Lena’s words. Giving Lena a quick kiss, Kara took a sip of coffee and set her cup down. “Pancakes for breakfast?” Kara suggested, raising an eyebrow at Lena.

 

            “Sounds perfect,” Lena agreed, smiling as she watched Kara make her way around the kitchen with ease. Something about this morning just felt perfect, and Lena found herself feeling happier than she had been in a long time. Every day she spent with Kara pulled her further away from the anger and bitter she had kept stored behind a mask for so long.

 

            At Kara’s insistence, Lena sat down on one of the kitchen stools, content to watch Kara walk around the kitchen in Lena’s clothes as she chatted. Lena listened intently to Kara as she described the dream she had had last night.

 

            “And then I could fly, and these people with masks were shooting at me, but I was bulletproof and I punched them through a wall,” Kara explained animatedly as she flipped a pancake.

 

            “Sounds wild,” Lena laughed, shaking her head at Kara’s imagination.

 

            “You were there too! You fell off a building and then I caught you and you said I was your hero, it was all very romantic,” Kara laughed, sliding the cooked pancake onto the top of the stack and sliding the plate towards Lena.

 

            Adding another one to the top of her own pile, Kara walked around the counter and sat down next to Lena. The rain outside intensified and a howling wind shook the windows in their frames.

 

            “So I guess anything outside is out of the question today,” Kara said, looking out the window as she chewed her pancakes.

 

            “At least I won’t need to water my garden today,” Lena smiled, glad to be having some wet weather.

 

            “Wow, that sounds like optimism,” Kara teased, laughing when Lena rolled her eyes.

 

            “A very rare occasion, I can assure you,” Lena laughed. “So what do you want to do today? We can stay here and watch movies all day. We still haven’t had that Lord of the Rings marathon you promised.”

 

            “Sounds perfect. Winn will have a crisis when I tell him you finally got me to watch Lord of the Rings,” Kara laughed.

 

            “Well it’s the least I can do after all the new experiences you’re giving me,” Lena smiled, cutting off another piece of a pancake.

 

\---

 

            Finishing up their breakfast, Lena insisted that Kara take the first shower whilst she did the dishes. It was only fair, considering that Kara had cooked for them.

             

            “Take whatever you need from my closet,” Lena called after Kara as she disappeared down the hallway. She heard Kara shout back something indistinguishable and smiled as she filled up the dishwasher.

 

            Once Kara had finished showering, Lena took a quick one, and got dressed in some casual clothes before re-joining her in the kitchen. She smiled as she took the cup of tea that Kara had ready for her and sat down next to her on the sofa. Pulling the blanket off the back of the sofa, Lena draped it over them both and cuddled up next to Kara.

 

            “Get ready for the best eleven hours of your life,” Lena told Kara with a smile.

 

            “Eleven hours?” Kara spluttered, choking on her tea. It was going to be a long day.

 

            “Well yes, you have to watch the extended editions or what’s the point?” Lena said, matter-of-factly.

 

            “Oh God, that’s the nerdiest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Kara laughed.

 

            Lena’s cheeks turned slightly pink at Kara’s words, adding some colour to her pasty cheeks. “Well excuse me, I’ll have you know that Lord of the Rings is very cool. I mean I did use to want to be an elf at one point, but besides that it’s not like I’m a weirdo. I mostly blame that on me having no friends during school though so … yeah,” Lena rambled as she started the DVD.

 

            “An elf? Oh God, you _have_ to meet Winn,” Kara told Lena, trying not to laugh.

 

            “Okay, whatever, so maybe I was a bit weird then. Maybe I will have to meet Winn then, it sounds like someone will understand,” Lena replied, a serious look on her face.

 

\---

 

            They barely moved from the sofa all afternoon. They only took quick bathroom and snack breaks, and Kara had to admit, she had fun. Not only did she really enjoy the films, but even more than that, she enjoyed listening to Lena explain the parts that Kara didn’t understand, and add bits of trivia from the books that they had left out. Kara sat there smiling to herself as she listened to Lena talk excitedly. It was slightly shocking to see her go from the cool and collected person she usually was to a rambling geek over the films.

 

            Finally, they finished the last film. They quickly put together something for dinner and Lena smiled widely as she listened to Kara’s comments on the films. She felt warm inside as they talked, happy to have shared something she enjoyed with Kara and to have Kara enjoy it too. Now she understood why Kara made such a big deal about Lena trying new things; it was just as, if not more, satisfying watching someone else experience it for the first time.

 

            Kara left before she fell asleep this time, and Lena fetched her her uniform that she’d washed, ready for Kara to wear to work on Monday morning. Kara promised that she’d see Lena tomorrow at dinner with Alex and Maggie again, and Lena smiled, promising that she’d be there. She’d had such a good time last week that this time she was actually looking forward to dinner tomorrow.

 

            With a final kiss goodbye, Lena watched Kara leave before shutting her door and heading to her office to work on some paperwork.


	13. Chapter 13

            “Hi,” Lena smiled as she answered the phone.

 

 _“Hi!”_ Kara replied enthusiastically. _“You were already awake, right?”_

 

            “Yes, I have to go into the office early. I have a full day of meetings,” Lena groaned as she took a sip of her coffee.

 

 _“Damn, Alex told me this morning that the circus is in town and wanted to know if we wanted to go with her and Maggie tonight, but I guess that means you won’t make it, right?’_ Kara asked, her voice coming through slightly dejected.

 

            “Of course not!” Lena protested, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

            She could hear Kara’s smile in her reply. _“Great! Say around six?”_

 

            “Sure. Would you like me to get my driver to pick everyone up, or are we meeting there?” Lena asked.

 

 _“Um, sure, you can get your driver to pick us up if you want,”_ Kara agreed.

 

            “Okay, sounds like a plan,” Lena smiled, looking forward to tonight.

 

            _“Okay, well I better go before I get pulled over for using my phone,”_ Kara replied.

 

            “What! Kara! Driving whilst using your phone is unsafe, not to mention illegal,” Lena scolded her.

 

            _“I know, but it was important this time, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to ask you until tonight and then it’d be too late. I’m using hands free though,”_ Kara explained guiltily.

 

            Lena sighed, trying not to smile at Kara’s words. She wanted to be mad at her for driving whilst using her phone but knew that she wouldn’t be able to.

 

            “You better hope I don’t tell Maggie later,” Lena laughed, hearing Kara’s answering laugh. “Okay, you better go. Have a good day.”

 

            _“You too,”_ Kara replied, _“bye!”_

 

            The line went dead and Lena smiled down at the blank screen. She downing the rest of her coffee, she put her empty cup in the sink and went to take a shower. Lena now had some newfound motivation to get through all of her meetings for the day.

 

\---

 

            Lena found that the rest of the morning and early afternoon dragged. She spent most of the time thinking about Kara instead of paying attention to the endless droning on of the businessmen and the committees. Technically she didn’t even have to come to half of them, but she was already walking on eggshells with her family’s reputation and didn’t want to give anyone ideas about replacing her as CEO.

 

            As soon as her last meeting was over, Lena quickly packed up all of the files and paperwork she’d accumulated through the day. It was almost five, and she wanted to go home and change before going to pick everyone up. She got Jess to fetch her coat and bag, and with a quick goodbye she got into the elevator and went down to the car she knew would be waiting for her outside.

 

            At home, Lena quickly got changed into something casual and touched up her makeup. Heading back downstairs, she got back into the car, telling her driver to take her to Alex’s apartment.  She was ten minutes early as the car pulled up outside Alex’s building, and she instructed the driver to wait as she slid out and slammed the door behind her.

 

            Knocking on the door, Lena patiently waited for someone to answer it. She heard Kara’s muffled shout, indistinguishable through the wooden door. The door opened and Lena was greeted with Kara’s wide smile and warm eyes.

 

            “Hi!” Kara beamed at her, taking Lena by the hand and pulling her inside.

 

            “Hi. Good day at work?” Lena asked, leaning up to kiss Kara. She caught sight of someone moving out of the corner of her eye, and pulled back.

 

            “Don’t mind me,” Maggie called cheerfully as she walked over to the kitchen. Lena cleared her throat as her cheeks warmed slightly; she wasn’t one for public affection, even if it was only in front of Alex’s girlfriend.

 

            “Hi Maggie,” Lena greeted her, giving her a small smile.

 

            “Nice to see you again,” Maggie smiled back, flashing her dimples, before she turned to face the hallway she’d just walked out of. “HEY ALEX, LENA’S HERE. ARE YOU READY TO GO?” Maggie shouted.

 

            Kara gave Lena an apologetic look, wincing at Maggie’s yelling. “Sorry, they’re like an old married couple half of the time,” Kara muttered, smiling despite herself. A small smile graced Lena’s face too as she listened to Alex and Maggie’s loud conversation happening down the hallway.

 

            “You look great, now let’s go,” Maggie’s voice floated down the hallway, followed by her and Alex appearing.

 

            “Lena, hi,” Alex smiled at her as she slid her leather jacket on.

 

            “Hello,” Lena smiled back.

 

            “Okay, is everyone ready?” Kara asked, already pulling Lena over to the door.

 

            Everyone mumbled their agreement, and they all made their way downstairs. They stepped outside and Lena’s driver got out to open the door for them.

 

            “No fucking way Luthor, you have a chauffer? What is this, Downton Abbey? Do you have a butler?” Maggie laughed as they slid into the car. Kara sat opposite Lena, smiling at her in the dimly lit interior of the car. Alex slid in next to Lena, and Maggie joined Kara on the opposite side.

 

            “No seriously, how rich are you? Because you don’t give off that stuck up bitchy vibe, but I feel like you could if you wanted to,” Maggie rambled, buckling her seatbelt and telling the driver where they were headed.

 

            “Maggie!” Alex scolded her, as Lena laughed quietly and Kara hid her head in her hands.

 

            “You two are going to be the death of me,” Kara sighed, shooting Lena another apologetic look.

 

            “I mean, you’re not wrong,” Lena shrugged, “I don’t have a butler, but I can be very stuck up when I want to get my own way, and very bitchy.” Lena laughed, seeming unashamed as she admitted the truth.

 

            “How often do you not get your own way?” Kara asked, raising an eyebrow at Lena. She had yet to see this side of Lena that she described.

 

            “In the end? Never,” Lena smirked as everyone laughed. Money and power had its perks, and Lena knew how to use them to her advantage.

 

\---

 

            They got to the showground and joined the ticket queue. Lena had already got Jess to reserve her four front row tickets, and she insisted on paying for them as the woman behind the glass divider handed them over.

 

            The four of them walked into the dark tent, walking through the tunnel and into the brightly lit interior. Their noses were assaulted with the smell of popcorn, candyfloss and other sweet foods, and Lena smiled as she saw Kara’s face light up.

 

            “Come on,” Lena said, tugging on Kara’s arm and gesturing to the food stands with her head, “what’re you having?”

 

            Five minutes later, all four of them had their arms full with a variety of food and drinks, courtesy of Lena. They walked through the tent flaps and into the main arena, looking up in awe at the ceiling far above them. Filing into their row, the four of them took their seats, and started chatting amongst themselves.

 

            “Hey, there aren’t any animals used in this are there?” Lena asked, her forehead furrowing in concern.

 

            “Nope, they banned the use of animals in these things a few years back. We’ve got freaky clowns and acrobats, that sort of thing,” Kara reassured Lena, smiling as she shoved a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

 

            “You’ve never been to one of these?” Alex asked curiously, her eyebrows raising in slight surprise. Lena shook her head, giving Alex a small smile.

 

            “Hasn’t Kara told you? I haven’t done anything,” Lena laughed.

 

            “Yeah, I know all about your list, but come on, it’s the circus!” Alex said, “everyone’s been to the circus before!”

 

            “Not me. I feel like I was lucky, at least I was never afraid of clowns as a child,” Lena laughed again.

 

            “Well by the end of the night you’ll be afraid of clowns as an adult,” Maggie told her, “seriously, these guys are freaky … and we’re right at the front.”

 

            “What! The clowns are so much fun!” Kara protested, buzzing with excitement at the anticipated performance they were about to see. Before Maggie could argue, the lights dimmed, plunging them into darkness, except for the glowing dots of the light up toys sold outside. A few minutes later a large spotlight lit up the centre of the ring as the ringmaster took to the centre and got the show started.

 

\---

 

            They walked outside into the dark night, the slight breeze chilling them after the warmth of so many bodies packed into such a confined space.

 

            “So, what’d you think?” Kara asked Lena, a wide smile on her face as she looped her arm through Lena’s and pressed up against her side.

 

            “Um, I have to agree with Maggie, those clowns were creepy,” Lena laughed, her eyes growing wide as she thought about the disturbing make up and actions of the clowns. She shivered slightly, pulling Kara closer.

 

            “It was good though,” she reassured Kara, smiling up at her, "I really liked the acrobats, and the fire eating people."

 

            “I’m starving. Is anyone else hungry?” Alex asked, gently nudging Kara before adding, “I know you are.” Laughing, they all agreed, and Maggie told them about a local Mexican restaurant she knew. The four of them set off, with Alex and Maggie in the lead.

 

\---

 

            They were sat at a table by the window, halfway through their food. Kara had already downed four chicken enchiladas, and Lena was in the middle of scooping some of her Mexican-style rice onto Kara’s plate. She looked up, frowning at the flash of a camera outside the window. With a scowl, Lena shot the man outside the middle finger, and he quickly snapped another photo.

 

            “For fuck’s sake,” Lena muttered, turning her back to the window and ducking her head down.

 

            “Here,” Kara said, standing up and gesturing for Lena to switch seats with her so she would be partially blocked from sight. With a grateful smile, Lena slid over and switched their plates around.

 

            “Want me to get rid of him?” Maggie asked, nodding her head at the man. “I have my badge with me, I could scare him a bit.” She smiled at the thought of having some fun with the guy.

 

            “No, it’s fine. He’s got what he wanted,” Lena sighed, picking at her food.

 

            “Does this happen a lot?” Alex asked, frowning at the retreating figure of the man.

 

            “Sometimes. It depends on whether it’s a slow news day, I guess. Lena Luthor and her mysterious girlfriend will probably be front page tomorrow,” Lena said, rolling her eyes as she gave Kara a wry smile.

 

            “Sorry,” Kara apologised, giving Lena a grimace, “I know you’ve been trying to keep it low key since the whole kiss thing.”

 

            Lena touched Kara’s cheek briefly, giving her a warm smile. “I don’t care about that, it’s just more of an inconvenience when we’re trying to enjoy our food. It’s fine, he’s gone now anyway.”

 

            “If he comes back, I have my gun,” Alex assured Lena, giving her a conspiratory wink.

 

            “You brought your gun with you? To the circus?” Kara hissed, looking around to make sure no one heard. “What the hell, Alex.”

 

            “Well you never know. Maybe one of those freaky clowns might have tried something funny,” Alex laughed as Lena cracked a grin. Kara noticed and Lena quickly wiped the smile off her face, biting her lip as she tried to keep her face serious.

 

            "They're supposed to be funny, they're clowns," Lena smirked.

 

            “Oh great, now there’s three comedians,” Kara dramatically sighed, rolling her eyes at all three of them. “You’re not allowed to hang out with my sister anymore, you’re encouraging her too much,” Kara smiled at Lena.

 

            “Me?” Lena asked, pressing a hand to her chest as she gave Kara a look of mock offense. “I have don’t nothing wrong ever in my life.”

 

            “I actually think we’re the ones who’re the bad influences,” Maggie chimed in, flashing her dimples as she grinned.

 

            “Uh, trust me, you should hear some of the things she got up to at boarding school,” Kara told Alex and Maggie.

 

            “No, you definitely should not!” Lena quickly interjected, her eyes wide with panic.

 

            “Well you have to tell us now. We’re intrigued,” Alex said, propping her chin up in her hand.

 

            “Yeah, I want to hear what you got up to with all the posh girls. I bet the cat fights were brilliant,” Maggie agreed, leaning forward.

 

            Lena sighed, shooting Kara an exasperated look. She smiled as Kara shrugged apologetically. “Okay, well there was this one night, I don’t even know what we were even doing, like I still genuinely can’t believe this was a real thing. I feel like boarding school is severely underrated in terms of how weird things get. So you know that girl Roulette?” Lena directed the question to Kara, who nodded.

 

            “So we had this rivalry thing going on, we’d try and one-up each other, see who could do the craziest things,” Lena told Alex and Maggie, who were listening with rapt attention. “So anyway, it was our senior year and Roulette tried to organise a senior ditch day, like the seniors did this every year, and the school would try and stop it every year. But it was Roulette, so she was determined, so we all got an email off her telling us not to go to class. But then the school told us that if we didn’t go to class we’d all get detention, but like of course I wasn’t going to go to class if Roulette wasn’t or I’d never live it down, and besides, I had already been accepted into MIT by then so I didn’t care about detention.”

 

            “So senior ditch day comes around, and we were all just hanging out in our rooms and avoiding the emails the school had sent out. Then there was a knock on the dormitory door, so my roommate, this really sweet girl Elle got up and answered it, and it was Roulette. She thought it’d be a great idea to sneak out to the local shops and pick up some wine so we could go and get drunk in the forest behind the school, so of course, I said I’d go with her, even though I was only sixteen at the time and literally had no hope of buying wine.”

 

            Lena’s audience were staring at her, waiting for her to continue. “So we managed to get like fifteen girls out in the woods, and Roulette and I were going to sneak out. We manage to get out of the school and we head towards the nearest convenience store and there was this guy blocking the door and we were like um, okay? So we walk inside and there’s this other guy, and then another one like covered in blood. Apparently we’d just walked into the middle of a robbery and like, we were all just staring at each other as if two teenagers hadn’t just walked into the middle of a robbery. Roulette and I had no idea what to do so we just walked to the back of the shop and started loudly talking about what wine we should get, meanwhile, half of the shop has been wrecked and there’s like, enough blood for a murder scene. So we pick up as many bottle of wine as we can and then realise the cashier can’t serve us because he’s literally being held at gunpoint so we just threw some money and him and told him we were going to go. So these two robbers and the cashier just let us go? Like they were so casual about it, and they told us to have a good day, so we legged it back to school.”

 

            “Wait, so you just left this man being _robbed_?” Alex asked with a look of horror on her face.

 

            “Well no, the police pulled up as we walked out, so like, he was fine. We went back a few weeks later and he was still there. It _was_ a bit awkward though,” Lena laughed. “So anyway, we get back to school and by this point everyone except Elle has been busted hanging out in the woods, so it ends up just being the three of us. We’d taken four bottles of wine each so you can imagine how drunk we got, and then Ellie accidentally stood on a bee’s nest. We all got stung sooo badly, we couldn’t even run in a straight line but we made it to the lake and then we had to sneak back inside the school, soaking wet and covered in bee stings. Luckily it was an old building so the brickwork was a bit rough and it was super easy to just sneak in and out, so we all climbed back into mine and Elle’s dorm, and of course, we weren’t exactly discreet. The next thing we know, one of the Sister’s is banging on the door shouting at us to let her in. Of course, we weren’t that stupid, so Elle climbs on top of the unit, Roulette climbs into this little closet hole thing, and I panicked so I moved one of the panels in the ceiling and hid up there.”

 

            “Well, when Sister Bernadette unlocked the door, she walked in and was like I know you’re in here, I heard you talking two minutes ago. She finds Elle and Roulette in like two seconds and then I can hear her asking where I am. And I could hear Elle trying to explain and then the ceiling groaned. I swear, it was like slow motion. One second I’m sat in the ceiling and the next I’m on the floor surrounded by bits of the ceiling, soaking wet, still pissed and covered in bee stings. And that wasn’t even the first time I’d fallen through a ceiling.”

 

            She looked around at the expression on all three of their faces, and let out a laugh at the looks of concern and shock. They stared at Lena in silence for a few moments, with their mouths hanging open.

 

            “What the fuck,” Maggie exclaimed, leaning back as her mouth opened and closed a few times.

 

            “How-, what-, I-,” Kara stammered, staring at Lena in disbelief. “Actually, you know what? I don’t want to know.” Lena started laughing and was soon joined by the other three girls.

 

            “Okay, you can’t say we’re a bad influence. Jesus Christ, Luthor, I think you give me a run for my money when I went through my rebellious phase,” Alex laughed, shaking her head as she looked at Lena.

 

            She shrugged, slightly embarrassed. “Boarding school. I’m telling you, it’s a whole other level of weird.”

 

            “What happened after that?” Kara laughed, taking a sip of her drink.

 

            “Detention for a month, one week’s suspension, and a very bad hangover in the morning. We also got threatened with expulsion if we did anything like that again, but I mean, it was pretty hard to top that,” Lena smirked.

 

            “And I thought the bell tower and the streaking one were bad,” Kara laughed, earning confused looks from Alex and Maggie who had never heard those stories.

 

            “The what?” Maggie spluttered, blinking in surprise. “Who are you, Luthor? I like you even more than I already did.”

 

            “That’s a tale for another time,” Lena laughed, “I think we’d better head home for now.”

 

            “You have got to tell me more of these stories,” Alex made Lena promise as they all stood up and made their way outside to Lena’s waiting car.

 

            "Can you imagine what the press would make of these?" Maggie asked, laughing "if I ever need money and these stories end up in the paper's, it wasn't me."

 

\---

 

            She didn’t go up to Alex’s apartment that time. Instead she thanked everyone for the fun evening, feeling happy from spending time with other people. Lena had never had friends, it was true. Even when she was telling her story earlier, she hadn’t considered the girls her friends, but she felt so comfortable around Alex and Maggie, and their well meant teasing made Lena feel like she fit in.

 

            Alex and Maggie got out of the car, thanking Lena for the circus and their meal before wishing her a goodnight, leaving her alone with Kara.

 

            “I had a really good time,” Lena smiled, gently stroking the side of Kara’s face.

 

            “I did too, thank you,” Kara said, brushing the hair out of Lena’s face as she leant in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “And thank you for not being scared off by my sister and her incorrigible girlfriend,” Kara smiled, rolling her eyes.

 

            “I like them,” Lena reassured Kara, “a lot, actually.”

 

            Kara smiled widely, happy that Lena genuinely did like them. She knew Lena was being honest, and she was happy that they got along so well. It made Kara happy that her favourite people could get to know each other, and she was grateful to Alex and Maggie for welcoming Lena too, because she knew how much it secretly meant to Lena.

 

            “Alright, I’d better go inside,” Kara whispered, “message me when you get home.”

 

            “I will,” Lena promised, “goodnight.”

 

            Kara brought their lips together in a gentle kiss, once, twice and then three times, before pulling back.

 

            “Goodnight,” she smiled, slipping out of the car and shutting the door behind her.

 

            Lena sat back in her seat as her driver pulled out into traffic. She smiled to herself as she touched her still tingling lips, feeling warm inside as she thought about Kara.


	14. Chapter 14

            Lena frowned down at the unknown number on her screen. Wondering who was calling her, and if she’d end up getting roped into another meeting, Lena answered with a sigh.

 

            “This is Lena Luthor,” she answered, leaning back in her chair.

 

            _“Sup weirdo,”_ the voice on the other end came through,  _"do you always answer the phone like that?"_

 

            “Excuse me?” Lena spluttered, pulling the phone away from her ear and frowning down at it. She considered hanging up, but her thumb hesitated over the red button, and she decided to find out who it was.

 

            _“Relax, Luthor, it’s Maggie.”_

            Lena let out a quiet laugh, the voice clicking into place. Maggie. Of course it was, who else would make fun of Lena in such a way?

 

            “Um, hi? Yes, I do when I don't know who's calling me,” Lena replied, answering Maggie's previous question, and feeling confused as to why Maggie was calling her.

 

            _“Okay, so, you know James? And his girlfriend Lucy?_ ” Maggie began, not waiting for Lena to confirm or deny it. _“So, they’re in town for the weekend, but Kara doesn’t know though. It’s a surprise. Alex and I were going to get everyone to meet at this bar we go to, tomorrow night, so we need you to get her there.”_

 

            There was a pause and Lena realised Maggie was waiting for Lena to answer her.

 

            “Oh! Um, sure, I can get her there,” Lena replied.

 

            _“Great! I’ll text you the name of the bar and whatever,”_ Maggie told her, _“Bye Luthor.”_

 

            Lena put her phone down on the counter, a bewildered smile crossing her face. She shook her head before turning her attention back to the finances she was reviewing.

 

\---

 

            The next day, Lena made sure she left the office early so that she had plenty of time to get ready to meet everyone at the bar. She wasn’t nervous about meeting Kara’s friends, considering that she’d already met her sister, which was the most important. Except maybe Kara’s mother, but Lena didn’t want to think about that.

 

            Maggie had told her to it wasn’t a nice bar so she should wear what she called ‘normal people’s clothes’. Lena didn’t understand what everyone meant when they told her to dress casual; she thought she had been. Any less casual and she may as well wear her pyjamas to the bar. For this, Lena had enlisted Jess’ help and had sent her off in search of some ‘casual’ clothes for Lena.

 

            She got home and rifled through the bags that Jess had had delivered to Lena’s apartment. They were all high-end designer labels, but Lena noticed that there wasn’t a single dress in sight. She pulled out one of the shirts, a pair of artfully ripped jeans, and a leather jacket. Even Maggie wouldn’t be able to argue with a good leather jacket. Giving herself a once over in the mirror, Lena was satisfied that she would be classed as ‘casual’.

 

            Kara knocked on the door shortly after, and Lena let her in with a smile and a lingering kiss.

 

            “Hi, how was work?” she asked, taking Kara by the hand and pulling her inside.

 

            “You look nice. Work was good! We got a lot of work done today. We had a long training session though, I’m exhausted,” Kara said, flopping down on the sofa with a groan. “I never want to wear tactical gear again.”

 

            Lena let out a soft laugh as she lifted Kara’s legs and sat down underneath them. She absentmindedly gave Kara’s feet a massage as she listened to Kara tell her about the rest of her day. Lifting herself up onto her elbows, Kara stared at Lena with a look of hesitation on her face.

 

            “Can we talk about something?” Kara asked seriously.

 

            “Um, sure, what’s wrong?” Lena asked, a seed of doubt settling into the back of her mind as she panicked slightly.

 

            “Can we get Chinese food for dinner?” Kara asked, looking at Lena with a hopeful look on her face.

 

            “That- that’s what you want to talk about?” Lena asked, giving Kara an exasperated look.

 

            “Yeah,” Kara confirmed, raising her eyebrows slightly as she waited for Lena’s answer.

 

            Leaning back into the pillows and throwing her head back, Lena let out a deep sigh. “Oh God, what the fuck, Kara! Don’t do that, I thought it was going to be something serious!”

 

            “Chinese food is serious,” Kara laughed pulling herself up to give Lena a kiss, before groaning about how much her abs were hurting. She flopped back down on the sofa, resting her head on her hands.

 

            “I thought that maybe we could go out tonight, for a few drinks maybe,” Lena suggested casually. “We can get Chinese before.”

 

            “Sure, if you want,” Kara smiled at Lena. “I’ll need to have a shower and get changed.”

 

            “No problem. I’ll go and find you something to wear,” Lena said, patting Kara on her legs for her to move them so she could stand up. Kara trailed behind her, walking down the hallway and into the bathroom. Rifling through her closet, Lena found the biggest clothes she could so that they would fit Kara’s height.

 

            With a knock on the door, Lena walked into the bathroom and placed the clothes on the counter. “There’re some clean clothes on the counter,” Lena yelled over the sound of the running water and got a shout in thanks back. Leaving Kara to the rest of her shower, she walked back out into the kitchen, picking her phone up off the counter. She sent a quick text to Maggie.

 

            ‘Slight problem – Kara wants to get Chinese for dinner, but I talked her into going out for a few drinks afterwards.’

 

            Maggie messaged her back a few minutes later, letting her know that it was fine, as long as they got to the bar. Luckily, Kara had made it home earlier than Lena had thought, so they wouldn’t be that much later than expected.

 

\---

 

            They left the Chinese restaurant as soon as they finished eating, and Kara laughed as Lena tugged her along at a brisk pace. “In a rush are we?” she asked, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she looked down at Lena.

 

            Slowing her pace slightly, Lena shrugged, trying to look indifferent. She didn’t want to look too anxious to get to the bar, otherwise Kara would get suspicious and the surprise would be ruined. Squeezing Kara’s hand, Lena gave her a smile.

 

            “So, I’ve been thinking,” Lena started, trying to distract Kara, and also bringing up an issue she’d been meaning to talk to Kara about.

 

            With a laugh, Kara replied, “well that’s dangerous.”

 

            “Only for stupid people,” Lena scoffed. “Well, I was just, I was thinking about whether or not you’d like to come to the annual Luthor gala with me. Like … as my girlfriend.”

 

            “Really? Are you sure you want to, you know, go public?” Kara asked hesitantly.

 

            “Well apparently we’re not being as subtle as I thought. I’m pretty sure the entire company already knows, and besides, I want you to come,” Lena told Kara, giving her a shy smile.

 

            “Mmm yes, I’m aware of that actually. I keep getting strange looks whenever I come to your office, and I had a nice little chat with Jess,” Kara mused, thinking about the conversation.

 

            “With Jess?” Lena asked, frowning in confusion. “What did she say? She shouldn’t have-“

 

            Kara cut Lena off with a gentle squeeze of her hand. “Relax, it’s fine. She’s very protective of you. Like I don’t know if you know, but _very_ protective of you. She just wanted to make sure I wouldn’t hurt you,” Kara admitted.

 

            “Oh,” Lena mumbled, “well Jess has been with me since I first started working for my family’s company. She’s probably the closest person I have to a friend.”

 

            “But anyway, I’d love to come to your gala. When is it?” Kara asked, hoping that it was soon and on a weekend so that she could go.

 

            “Next month. I can have Jess arrange everything for you. Alex and Maggie are welcome to come, of course. As well as any other guests you’d like to invite,” Lena told Kara, a bubble of happiness rising within her at Kara’s acceptance of the invitation.

 

            “There’s, um, there’s just one problem,” Lena said slowly. “Technically my mother is obligated to be there, because it’s a, you know, family event. And well, you know how I feel about my mother. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t want you to meet her, and that has nothing to do with you, of course, but I’ll probably try my hardest to keep you away from her.”

 

            “It’s fine. If you don’t want me to meet her, then I respect your decision, but if we can’t help bumping into her it’s not a big deal. I don’t care what she’s like, I’m not trying to date her so her opinion doesn’t matter,” Kara reassured Lena.

 

            “Right,” Lena smiled hesitantly. She was glad that Kara wasn’t going to push her into confronting her mom, or force her to introduce her to Kara. Lena hoped they could stay as far away as possible from her, but knew that Lillian had a habit of interfering in her daughter’s life whenever she could. She was grateful that Kara had never judged her for her family in the first place.

 

            “You know, I-I don’t think I’ve ever told you how grateful I am to have you,” Lena smiled, stopping mid-step to cup Kara’s face and kiss her.

 

            Smiling, Kara pressed another kiss to Lena’s lips. “Mm, perhaps you should start telling me more often, if this is the thanks I get.”

 

            With a quick laugh, Lena set off again, pulling Kara close to her as they walked down the sidewalk. Judging by the directions Lena had memorised before they’d left, they should be close to the bar by now.

 

\---

 

            Five minutes later, they walked into the wide alley and headed towards the door at the end of it. Recognition lit up Kara’s eyes.

 

            “Hey, I know this bar! Maggie comes here all the time! It’s our go-to place now,” Kara smiled down at Lena, her expression quickly turning to one of confusion. “How do you know about this place? I _know_ this isn’t your scene.”

 

            “Um, from Maggie actually,” Lena confessed, yanking the door open and walking into the dimly lit room. Kara followed close behind her, letting the door swing shut.

 

            “So you and Maggie talk now? I did not see that coming,” Kara smiled, feeling happy inside that Lena was getting to know her sister’s girlfriend.

 

            “I mean, I wouldn’t say we message each other all the time. I don’t even know how she got my number,” Lena laughed. “It was more of a necessity so that I could bring you here tonight.”

 

            Kara frowned in confusion at Lena's words as she led her into the bar. Her frown quickly turned into a look of surprise and delight as she spotted the table with her sister and army friends.

 

            “James! Lucy!” Kara shouted across the room in excitement. She dragged Lena over to the table and wrapped her two friends in a giant hug, holding onto them tightly as they all laughed and said their hello’s. She pulled back and hugged the other guy at the table, who Lena knew was Winn. He lived in National City though, so it wasn’t a surprise for Kara to see him there.

 

            “Everyone, this is Lena,” Kara smiled widely, pulling Lena into the circle of friends so that she could introduce them.

 

            “Hi Lena,” James greeted her, shaking her hand. Lucy followed suit with a friendly hug, which took Lena by surprise.

 

            “We’ve heard a lot about you,” Winn smiled at her as he shook her hand.

 

            Lena and Kara sat down in the two empty seats and said hi to Alex and Maggie.

 

            “Nice jacket,” Maggie nodded in approval, and Lena smiled smugly.

 

            “When did you guys get here?” Kara asked James and Lucy, buzzing with excitement.

 

            “This morning, we wanted it to be a surprise,” Lucy smiled brightly, glad that the surprise had paid off.

 

            “So all of you knew?” Kara asked, looking at everyone in turn. She met Lena’s gaze last, “even you knew?”

 

            Lena shrugged and gave her a small smile. “Well someone had to get you here, even if it took potstickers to get the job done.”

 

            Everyone laughed and Lena felt herself relaxing into the easy conversation. After ten minutes of getting to know everyone, she decided to get a drink. She pushed her chair back and fished her purse out of her bag. She didn’t need to ask Kara what she would have, she already knew what her drink of choice was. Standing up, she caught the attention of everyone at the table.

 

            “Whoa, where do you think you’re going?” Alex exclaimed in mock outrage.

 

            Lena frowned, giving Alex a puzzled look. “I-I was just going to get us all a round?”

 

            “Of alcohol? Um, are you even legal? Can I see some ID?” Maggie asked, flashing her dimples at Lena as she joked. Lena let out a big sigh, rolling her eyes.

 

            “Yeah, you’re like twelve. Are you sure you don’t want an adult to accompany you?” Alex teased.

 

            “Alex!” Kara scolded her, “leave her alone. It’s not her fault she’s the baby of the group.”

 

            “Ha ha, very funny. Can I buy you all a drink or not?” Lena said, giving the table an exasperated look.

 

            They all voiced their opinion, and Lena walked over to the bar to order. She walked back over a few minutes later and sat back down in her seat whilst she waited for the bartender to bring their drinks over.

 

            “So, did you get carded?” Maggie asked smugly, knowing full well that she had been. Lena flipped her off as she blushed slightly. Everyone laughed and Lena rolled her eyes good-naturedly. She wasn’t bothered by the teasing, it was true that she was young, but even still, she knew they teased her in an affectionate way. It wasn’t unlike the way Lex used to tease her when she was younger.

 

            “So you’re CEO of your family’s company at … how old?” Lucy asked, trailing off as she realised she wasn’t sure how old Lena was.

 

            “Twenty-four,” Kara answered for her, beaming proudly.

 

            “Wow, that’s impressive,” Winn said, his eyebrows rising in surprise.

 

            Lena shrugged self-consciously. She had been groomed to join the family business since a young age, and whilst her mother may have focussed all of her attention on Lex, it was still expected of Lena to join L-Corp. Whilst she was fully qualified to take on the position of CEO, Lena knew that part of the reason why the board had nominated her as CEO was because of her family name, and the hopes that a good Luthor would help repair the damage of her brother and her parent’s bad reputation.

 

            “So, is that how you managed to impress Jukebox, and make her incapable of talking about anything besides you?” James asked, nodding his head at Kara as she blushed slightly.

 

            “Jukebox?” Lena asked, her forehead furrowing at the nickname.

 

            “She didn’t tell you?” Winn asked, grinning at the story that was about to be told.

 

            “So you may or may not have realised that I like to sing,” Kara sighed, rolling her eyes at Lena.

 

            “Considering it’s impossible to listen to a song without you joining in on it, yes, I have realised,” Lena interjected with a smile.

 

            “Well, when we all enlisted we had to do basic training together, and our Drill Sergeant used to get angry when I would sing, like all the time. So one day he’d had enough, and he locked me in one of the lockers and made me stand in there all day whilst he got people to slide quarters in through the gaps. He said if I wanted to be a jukebox so badly then here was my chance. Every time someone posted a quarter through the gap I’d have to sing whatever song they requested, and when our Sergeant yelled change I’d have to change songs. Since then I haven’t been able to shake the nickname,” Kara shrugged, laughing as she told the story.

 

            Lena let out a laugh of surprise at the story, and soon everyone else had joined in. She made a mental note to take Kara to a karaoke bar one night, she knew she'd like it there, and Lena liked listening to her sing. Kara had a surprisingly good voice.

 

\---       

 

            They stayed until closing time, putting drink after drink on the tab that Lena had opened up. The jokes and digs at Lena’s age and obvious wealth were endless, and Lena couldn’t help but like Kara’s friends. She had never felt comfortable in big groups of people before, but Kara’s friends were so welcoming that Lena found it easy to fall into conversation with them.

 

            James and Lucy got a cab back to the hotel they were staying at, and Winn climbed in with them, heading back to his own apartment. The three of them hugged Lena goodbye, promising that this wouldn’t be the last time they would see her, and Lena found herself in agreement.

 

            Lena joined Kara, Alex and Maggie in another cab and went back to Alex’s apartment with them. She stayed for a cup of coffee, curled up on the sofa next to Kara. They talked amongst themselves for a little while, until Alex and Maggie decided to go to bed and Lena decided to take her leave.

 

            “I’m going to head off to bed now,” Alex said, standing up and taking her and Maggie’s empty cups to the kitchen. Maggie murmured a tired agreement, stifling a yawn as she stood up.

 

            “I-I should get going too,” Lena said, taking hers and Kara’s cups and dumping them in the sink alongside the others.

 

            “Just crash here,” Maggie told her, hovering at the end of the hallway with Alex.

 

            “Oh, no, really. I wouldn’t want to intrude,” Lena protested, picking up her leather jacket off the back of the sofa.

 

            “You’re not intruding,” Alex reassured her, “you’re welcome to stay if you’d like to. Goodnight you two.” Maggie bid them goodnight and followed Alex down the hall, and Lena and Kara replied in similar.

 

            “If you’d prefer to go back to your place, that’s fine, but you can stay the night,” Kara murmured as she came up behind Lena and grabbed her by the waist. Lena smiled at the warmth of Kara pressed up behind her.

 

            “You’re doing such a good job of convincing me,” she laughed, spinning around in Kara’s embrace. She reached up to press a kiss to Kara’s lips, tasting the bitter coffee that lingered on her lips.

 

            “So, was that a yes or?” Kara asked, smiling down at Lena.

 

            “Sure, I mean, you’ve stayed over at mine before,” Lena reminded Kara. Pulling away, Lena watched as Kara walked around the apartment, making sure all the doors were locked before she flicked the lights off, one by one.

 

            In the semi-darkness, Kara grabbed Lena’s hand and led her down the dark hallway and into her room. Flicking the lights on, Kara shut the door as Lena walked in. With interest, Lena looked around the room. It was small, but cozy, filled with books, boxes full of photographs and CD’s.

 

            “I’ll get you some pyjamas,” Kara said, pulling open a drawer and rifling through it. She came up with an old t-shirt and some sweatpants for both of them, and handed one pair to Lena. “D-did you want to get changed in the bathroom, or do you, um, just want me to turn around?” Kara asked, unsure of whether Lena would want some privacy. Not that Lena hadn’t changed in front of Kara a few times, but it was a bit different being in Kara’s room, about to go to bed.

 

            In reply, Lena stripped off her shirt and Kara let out a soft sound of surprise. Clearing her throat, she looked at Lena with wide eyes. “Right, well I guess that answers that,” Kara mumbled, following suit and changing into her own pyjamas.

 

            “Um, which side do you sleep on?” Lena asked, pulling back the covers and looking up at Kara before she got in.

 

            Kara let out a soft laugh, “when I get to sleep in a proper bed, sides are the least of my worries. You can take whichever side you’re more comfortable on.”

 

            With a small smile, Lena climbed in and rolled over to the left side of the bed, leaving space for Kara to crawl in next to her. Flicking the lights off, Kara sat down on the edge of the bed, and Lena could see her silhouette as she took off her glasses. Fumbling in the dark, Lena’s fingers found Kara’s face and gently traced the outline of her lips.

 

            She found herself pinned down beneath Kara, her mouth hot on Lena’s as she deepened the kiss. Lena’s hands came up to tangle in Kara’s hair, all fingers and thumbs as she pushed back against Kara’s lips. She shivered slightly at Kara’s touch, as her hands slipped up under the edge of Lena’s shirt and wandered up. She felt Kara’s touch withdraw a few moments later, and she pushed herself off Lena before she took things too far, remembering that her sister and her girlfriend were just across the hall.

 

            With a gentle kiss, they whispered goodnight to each other and Lena rolled over, facing the window. Kara’s arm wrapped around her as she cuddled up behind Lena. With a smile, Lena drifted off to sleep, safe and warm in Kara’s arms.


	15. Chapter 15

            With a groan, Lena rolled over and switched her alarm off. She felt awful. Her throat was aching and her head was banging as she sat upright, wincing at the crack of light peeking through the curtains. Scrambling for her phone, Lena sent a quick text to Jess, asking her to cancel all of Lena’s appointments and meetings for the day. Luckily it was a Saturday so she didn’t have many meetings anyway. Rolling back over, Lena fell back to sleep shivering, and hoping that she’d feel better when she woke up.

 

\---

 

            She woke up at twelve to the incessant buzzing of her phone. Blinking away the last remnants of her sleep, Lena grabbed her phone and slid across to answer, not bothering to take the time to check who it was.

 

            “Yes?” she asked, her voice hoarse.

 

_“Hey, It’s me. Are you almost here?”_ Kara asked.

 

            Lena shot up in bed, remembering she was supposed to meet Kara at their café for lunch. “Fuck. No, I forgot. Sorry, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Lena said, before dissolving into a coughing fit.

_“You sound awful, is everything okay?”_ Kara’s voice came through, coloured with concern.

 

            “I feel like shit, I think I'm getting sick,” Lena rasped, collapsing back against the pillows, and throwing an arm across her face.

 

            _“What is it? The flu? A stomach bug?”_ Kara asked, panicking slightly.

 

            “Relax, it’s just a sore throat and a slight cold. I’m fine,” Lena reassured Kara, pushing aside her concerns. “I’ll meet you there as soon as I can.”

 

            _“No, no. You stay in bed, I’ll be there as soon as I can,”_ Kara told her firmly, leaving no room for Lena to argue.

 

            “Um, okay,” Lena mumbled, her voice coming out scratchy.

 

            _“Okay, see you soon. Love you, bye.”_

 

            Lena paused at Kara’s words, her mouth opening as she thought of something to reply. There was silence on the other end, and before Lena could reply, Kara hung up. Lena stared down at her phone with a bewildered smile on her face.

 

            She stumbled out of bed and had a quick shower, hoping the hot water would make her feel better. Dressed in some clean pyjamas, Lena wandered into the kitchen to grab some painkillers and a glass of water. After she quickly downed them, she wandered back into her room and crawled back into bed. The darkness of her room helped soothe Lena’s headache, and she could feel the effects of the painkillers kicking in. She momentarily drifted off to sleep as she waited for Kara to arrive.

 

\---

           

            Almost an hour later there was a knock on the door. Lena pulled herself upright and shuffled to the front door. Pulling it open, she revealed a nervous looking Kara, weighed down by numerous paper bags.

 

            “Hey,” Lena croaked, stepping aside to let Kara in.

 

            “Oh, you don’t look well at all,” Kara tutted, grimacing at Lena before making her way into the kitchen. She set the bags down on the counter and turned around, gesturing for Lena to come closer. “Come here.”

 

            Lena obeyed, and closed the distance between the two of them. Kara gently touched the back of her hand to Lena’s burning forehead and cheeks, checking her temperature. “I think you have a fever. Have you taken anything for it?” Kara asked, her forehead wrinkling with concern.

 

            “Um, I took some painkillers earlier. I don’t know if they’re for fevers or whatever, but my headache’s gone, so there’s that,” Lena told her, shrugging slightly. With a sigh, Kara rummaged through the bags until she found what she was looking for.

 

            “Take two of these the next time you need to take some pills,” Kara told her, placing the box on the counter, “and for God’s sake, get back to bed. You look like death warmed up.”

 

            “I think that’s just my usual complexion actually,” Lena joked, the corners of her mouth quirking up in a slight smile. Kara gave Lena an exasperated look and made shooing motions towards Lena’s bedroom.

 

            Lena looked at Kara with an amused look on her face. “Yes Sergeant,” Lena saluted sarcastically, letting out a quick laugh, which turned into a coughing fit.

 

            “Very funny. Would you prefer it if I made you up a bed on the sofa?” Kara asked, raising her eyebrows in question. Lena nodded, and padded over to the sofa. Kara disappeared down the hallway leading to Lena’s bedroom, and returned a few moments later with pillows.

 

            Lena watched her with a peculiar expression on her face, and once Kara had finished making the bed, she turned around. Catching sight of Lena’s expression, she tilted her head to the side, frowning slightly. “What is it?”

 

            “I-, it’s just … no one’s ever looked after me when I’ve been sick before,” Lena confessed, shrugging slightly. She let Kara guide her down onto the sofa and tuck the blanket in around her. Leaning down, she placed a gentle kiss to Lena’s burning forehead.

 

            “Sorry, I can’t risk getting sick,” Kara apologised for the lack of a proper kiss. “And that’s what people who care about you are for.”

 

            “I’ve never had one of those before,” Lena reminded Kara, who gave her a sad smile.

 

            “Well, lucky for you, you have me, and I happen to know the best remedy for being sick,” Kara said, her voice bright with enthusiasm. “Or at least Eliza has the best cure, and it kind of stuck with me since I was a kid, but that’s besides the point, and I’m pretty sure she’s onto something anyway.”

 

            Lena pushed herself up onto her elbows, craning her head to watch Kara as she walked over the the paper bags. “So, first things first; grapes. Not sure why, but it’s a necessity. Secondly, Lucozade. It’s this British energy drink, I have no idea where my mom got it from, but, I don’t know, I guess it’s good for electrolytes and whatever.”

 

            Kara walked over to the sofa, carrying the grapes, the energy drink and a book. “Here, try some,” Kara told her, handing over the bottle. “You also have to have a book. I’m not sure what healing powers Eliza thinks they have, but every time Alex and I were sick she’d buy us a book.”

 

            Lena smiled at Kara, taking the offered gifts. She quickly unscrewed the bottle cap and took a sip of the energy drink, which was surprisingly nice. “Thank you,” she croaked, placing the drink on the floor and popping a grape in her mouth.

 

            “I brought chicken soup, because obviously that’s a given, and I picked up some DVD’s for us to watch too,” Kara told her, walking back to the kitchen and placing the soup in the fridge. “Which drawer do your bags go in?” Kara asked, holding up the paper bags.

 

            “What do you mean? I just put them in the recycling bin,” Lena told her, frowning slightly at Kara’s question.

 

            “Oh. So, like, you don’t have a drawer with bags that you hoard all the other bags inside?” Kara asked, giving Lena a strange look as she binned the bags and walked back over to her.

 

            “Who does that?” Lena asked, letting out a quick laugh.

 

            “Um, the entire human population?” Kara replied, gesturing widely as she sat down on the sofa, lifting Lena’s legs so that they were resting on top of Kara’s lap.

 

            “Weirdo,” Lena muttered, smiling widely at Kara.

 

            “It’s a common domestic thing, okay. You’re the weirdo. Who _doesn’t_ have that drawer?” Kara argued defensively, giving Lena an exasperated look.

 

            “Whatever you say,” Lena laughed, throwing a grape at Kara.

 

\---

 

            They ended up watching two movies, and Kara spoon fed Lena chicken soup for Dinner, much to Lena’s amusement. The pills that Kara had brought her seemed to be helping, and the throat lozenges lessened the scratchy feeling in Lena’ throat.

 

            Lena sat there toying with the edge of the blanket as Kara inserted the third DVD. Once she sat back down, Lena cleared her throat gently, deciding to broach the topic with Kara.

 

            “Hey,” Lena said slowly, getting Kara’s attention. “So, um, I heard something surprising earlier on the phone.”

 

            Kara’s face flushed red and she ducked her head down, pushing her glasses up her nose. “Oh yeah? Um, well I-I was, uh. You see, I was, um, it was just …”

 

            She trailed off helplessly, looking up to give Lena a sheepish smile. She looked embarrassed as she scratched the side of her nose, shrugging in a noncommittal way.

 

            “Sorry, I just-, I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable. You can just … forget I said anything,” Kara mumbled.

 

            “Hey, no, don’t apologise,” Lena said, frowning slightly as she gently laid her hand on Kara’s arm. “I-I want you to be honest with your feelings, okay? Please don’t ever feel like you can’t tell me things because of, well, me. I just hope you can understand that I … need more time to, you know, figure things out.”

 

            “Yeah, no, of course. I don’t want to … push you,” Kara said, giving Lena a hesitant smile. “You said before that I overuse the word love, and I know that you don’t use it, so I understand that it’s different for you.”

 

            “Yes, but that’s not what you’re saying is it?” Lena asked, her eyebrows drawing together at the seriousness of the conversation. “It’s not I love you. That’s easy. I know I love you, just like how you say you love inanimate things, although that might be hard for me to say anyway. But what we’re saying is ‘I am _in_ love with you’, right? Not just love, but _in_ love. There’s a very big difference.”

 

            Kara let out a quick laugh, her nose crinkling as she smiled at Lena. “Yeah. Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. That I’m _in_ love with you.”

 

            Lena’s eyes prickled slightly at Kara’s admission of truth, and she felt an aching feeling in her chest. No one had ever said that to her before. She’d never felt this feeling before. She smiled at Kara, lifting her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “Well thank you. I-I know I’m not the easiest person to … love.”

 

            Kara shook her head, pulling her hand out of Lena’s so that she could cup Lena’s face. With a bewildered half-smile on her face, Kara stared into Lena’s eyes, as familiar to her as her own.

 

            “No. Loving things – people – it’s the only thing I know. And loving you? Loving you is the easiest thing in the world. It’s easier than breathing, and I would sooner stop breathing than stop loving you. Whether you want me to or not,” Kara argued, placing a kiss to the tip of Lena’s nose.

 

            “I do. I want you to,” Lena whispered, choking slightly on the words as they came out.

 

            “Then you have it. All of it,” Kara smiled, her fingers gently tracing the side of Lena’s face as they looked at each other. Too overcome with emotions to talk, Lena nodded, her own hand coming up to rest against Kara’s cheek.

 

\---

 

            Kara stayed over that night, making sure that Lena had someone to look after her. Lena kept her up half of the night, tossing and turning as her temperature switched between freezing cold and boiling hot. Still, Kara lay beside her all night, clutching her tightly to her chest when she was cold, and making sure the covers were off her when she was hot.

 

            Lena fell asleep quickly, exhausted by the symptoms of her sickness. She slept restlessly, only falling calm at the quiet, comforting whispers of Kara’s voice piercing her unconscious mind. She mumbled and cried out occasionally, until Kara’s reassuring voice calmed her down, lulling her back into sleep.

 

            The next morning when Lena woke up, she found herself wrapped in Kara’s embrace, feeling marginally better than she had yesterday. Noticing the dark circles under Kara’s eyes, she stayed as still as possible, letting her sleep and taking comfort in the arms of someone who loved her.  


	16. Chapter 16

            It was the day of the gala, and Lena was rushed off her feet all day, making last minute decisions and adjustments. She was determined to make sure everything was perfect, if only to deny her mother the satisfaction of criticising Lena’s event.

 

            She had Jess pick up hers and Kara’s outfits for the gala, and had Kara’s sent to Alex’s apartment. Lena would pick her, Alex and Maggie up on her way to L-Corp. Kara had also invited Winn, but he was going to meet them there.

 

            At five o’clock, Lena’s car pulled up outside Alex’s apartment. Getting out of the car, she told her driver to wait, and went inside. Walking up several flights of stairs, Lena clutched the bouquet of flowers tightly in one hand. She came to a stop outside Alex’s door and straightened the jacket of her suit before knocking.

 

            Kara opened the door, a bright smile on her face as she took in the sight of Lena. “Hi! I like your suit,” Kara smiled, leaning in to give her a kiss.

 

            Lena looked at Kara with surprise. “Oh, no glasses?” she asked, smiling widely as she looked at Kara. Lena had seen her without glasses before, but not for longer than a few minutes.

 

            “I thought contacts would be a welcome change for tonight,” Kara smiled, accepting the flowers that Lena held out for her. “Thank you, they’re beautiful.”

 

            “Not as beautiful as you,” Lena blurted out, blushing slightly as she stared at Kara. She did look beautiful in the dress she had picked out from the dozens of options Lena had provided. Kara’s smile wavered for a second, and she turned around, opening the door wider so Lena could come inside.

 

            Trailing behind her, Lena frowned slightly. “I-is everything okay?” she asked, her voice full of concern. She said a quick hello to Alex and Maggie, who were sat on the sofa, waiting to leave.

 

            “Fine,” Kara said, turning to give Lena a quick smile before walking into the kitchen and putting the flowers in a vase. “I’ll just be like five minutes, sorry. I had to go into work earlier so I’m running a bit behind.”

 

            “It’s fine, there’s no rush,” Lena reassured her, smiling at Kara. She didn’t know what it was, but there was something off about Kara. She was less cheery than usual and Lena didn’t like it. Kara said she was fine though, and Lena didn’t want to push her. If there was something Kara wanted her to know, she would tell Lena when she was ready.

 

\---

 

            Half an hour later, Lena’s car pulled up outside of L-Corp. Her driver stepped out and opened the door for the four of them to step out. Lena climbed out of the car to the flashing of cameras as the paparazzi outside rushed forward to snap some photos of the young CEO. Lena raised her chin, steeling herself against the bombardment of cameras and reporters.

 

            Turning around slightly, Lena held her hand out for Kara and helped her out of the car. Lena held on tightly, her face like stone as she faced the crowd with Kara on her arm. She ignored the questions being shouted at her by the reporters, and made her way to the entrance of the building.

 

            Walking through the open doors, Lena let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, her shoulders sagging with relief. She gave Kara, Alex and Maggie an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that.”

 

            “So I guess you’ll be front and centre tomorrow, huh?” Alex said, giving Lena a sympathetic look. It was no secret that Lena hated the lack of privacy her position afforded her.

 

            “I need a drink,” Lena mumbled, gesturing for everyone to walk towards the entrance to the main party. The wove their way through the throngs of people until they found a server holding a tray of champagne flutes. They all took a glass, and Lena tipped hers back, draining the glass in seconds.

 

            “Whoa, slow down there,” Maggie said, taking the empty glass off Lena and placing it on the nearest table.

 

            “Hey, it’s fine,” Kara mumbled, squeezing Lena’s hand.

 

            “I know, I just-, I hate these things,” Lena muttered, her eyes darting around the room. Kara didn’t have to ask to know that she was looking for her mother. Kara saw the muscles in Lena’s jaw tighten, and looked in the direction Lena was looking. Kara knew Lillian Luthor on sight, and she looked at the older woman with interest.

 

            “Let’s go this way,” Lena murmured to Kara, taking her by the elbow and moving in the opposite direction of Lillian.

 

            “We’ll leave you to it, I can see some canapés over there,” Alex called after them.

 

            Kara nodded, before letting Lena pull her through the crowd. People stopped them as they walked through the crowd, greeting Lena and discussing business with them. They were all polite to Kara as Lena introduced them, raising her chin each time, as if daring someone to comment on their relationship.

 

            Finally, they managed to shake off the crowd and find a quiet corner to stand in for a few moments. Kara looked out at the crowd of people, before leaning down towards Lena. “It looks like tonight’s a success.”

 

            “Mmm, well we’ve avoided my mother so far, so I have to agree,” Lena mused, giving Kara a sharp smile. “Hey, are you hungry? I had potstickers added to the menu for you.”

 

            “Really?” Kara asked, her eyes crinkling at the corner as she looked down at Lena.

 

            “Mhm. Come on, let’s find you some,” Lena smiled back at her, squeezing her hand gently.

 

            “Are you sure you don’t just want to hide out here for a little while longer?” Kara asked, looking at the weary expression on Lena’s face. The niceties were tiring, and Lena hared fake people. Galas were always a nightmare for her.

 

            “It’s fine, really. Besides, I think Winn just got here,” Lena smiled, pulling Kara in the direction she was looking at.

 

\---

 

            Kara commandeered a tray of potstickers and Lena looked on in amusement as she watched her devour them, sipping from her glass of champagne. Her laughter died off at the sight of her mom nearby and she quickly put the glass on the counter and grabbed Kara’s hand.

 

            “Shit. Quick, don’t let her see you,” Lena hissed, wriggling her way between people as she tried to remain unnoticed.

 

            “I come all this way and my own daughter can’t even take the time to say hello to her mother.”

 

            Lena’s body tensed up at the sound of Lillian’s voice behind her, and she slowly turned around. She plastered a neutral expression on her face and steeled herself for the conversation that was about to follow.

 

            “Mother,” Lena said stiffly, her jaw tightening as she looked at Lillian.

 

            “Oh really Lena, you could at least pretend for appearances sake,” Lillian tutted, coming to a stop in front of Lena. She scoffed as she brushed the lapels of Lena’s suit jacket. “You always did like to make a statement with your wardrobe. I guess I should be thankful you didn’t show up with those god awful spikes in your ears and that black lipstick you used to wear.”

 

            Lena didn’t even bat and eye at Lillian’s words. She just stared at her mother, her body tense, as if she was ready to bite back if provoked.

 

            “And who might you be?” Lillian asked, her attention sliding to Kara’s face, and then down to their entwined hands.

 

            “Kara Danvers, ma’am,” Kara introduced herself, holding a hand out for Lillian to shake.

 

            “Oh … the girlfriend I presume,” Lillian said, raising an eyebrow as she looked back at her daughter.

 

            “Yes ma’am,” Kara replied, giving Lillian a warm smile. Eliza had always instilled in her the importance of being nice to everyone, especially those who were rude to you, and Kara was determined not to let Lillian get to her, for Lena’s sake if nothing else.

 

            “Hm,” Lillian said, giving Kara a once over.

 

            “Just say what you want to say,” Lena sighed, already tired of whatever game Lillian was playing.

 

            Lillian gave Lena a smug look filled with satisfaction at Lena’s irritation. “Can I not say hello to my own daughter?” she asked.

 

            “You make such a show of keeping your distance usually, I wasn’t sure you’d want to,” Lena replied icily, her eyes narrowing slightly.

 

            “Well, it’s not fair for you to put all the blame on me now, is it? You made such a fuss about moving the company's headquarters all the way out here,” Lillian reminded her.

 

            “Oh please, don’t act like you’re so cut up about your estranged daughter. We both know you’ve never cared about me,” Lena laughed. “The only reason you’re hear is so people don’t question your absence.”

 

            “Well of course, business comes first,” Lillian agreed, “but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you.”

 

            Lena opened her mouth to reply, but Lillian cut her off, staring at something behind Lena. “Oh look, here comes the photographer. Make sure you smile.”

 

            Lena frowned as the woman with the camera walked over. She sighed as Lillian pulled her close to her side, and plastered on a fake smile to appease her mother. Kara stood off to the side, giving Lena a sympathetic smile.

 

            “Miss Danvers, perhaps you’d like some photos?” Lillian asked, raising an eyebrow in question. Kara looked taken aback at the suggestion and looked at Lena for the answer. Lena scoffed, rounding on her mom and raising an eyebrow.

 

            “What angle are you playing?” Lena asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

 

            “Why are you always looking for the worst in me? Really Lena, you’re so insistent on making me out to be this bad person you think I am,” Lillian frowned at her daughter.

 

            “It’s because you always _do_ have an angle,” Lena replied, sounding exasperated as her voice raised slightly.

 

            “Not here,” Lillian hissed through her teeth, looking around to make sure no one could hear the slight altercation happening nearby. “I just thought perhaps it would look good for you and your … girlfriend to have some pictures together. You know, for the company.”

 

            Lena let out a laugh full of disbelief. “Are you serious? My relationship isn’t something for you to exploit, mother.”

 

            “Please, Lena. Can you not just take some pictures without making a fuss out of it?” Lillian asked.

 

            “Lena, it’s fine,” Kara murmured, gently laying her hand on Lena’s arm. Turning to look at Kara, Lena’s gaze softened and the sharpness of her face fell away. She let out a sigh, uncrossing her arms and letting Lillian and Kara put their arms around her. After a few photos she pulled away.

 

            “Okay, that’s enough,” Lena muttered, the fake smile dropping.

 

            “Well, I can see you’re done here. I’ll let you get back to your socialising,” Lillian said, nodding to her daughter and Kara before stalking off into the crowd and capturing someone in a conversation.

 

            “I’m sorry,” Lena apologised, giving Kara a defeated look.

 

            Kara reached out and gripped Lena by the arms, rubbing them in a soothing manner. “Hey, it’s fine. That wasn’t so bad. I mean, she ignored me for the most part, so I feel like I got off easy,” Kara joked, trying to lighten the mood.

 

            Lena gave her a grim smile in response. “You actually did get off easy, she’s usually a lot worse. I guess she didn’t want to make a scene in front of all these people,” Lena muttered, looking around. Her expression brightened as she looked past Kara, who turned around to see what she was looking at.

 

            Alex made her way through the crowd, closely followed by Maggie and Winn. Alex held out a glass of champagne towards Lena. “So how’d that work out for you?” she asked, giving Lena a sympathetic look.

 

            “As well as I could hope,” Lena said, rolling her eyes at Alex.

 

            “Your mom is a real charmer,” Maggie told Lena, flashing her dimples at her. “We met her over near your lovely assistant, Jess. I’m afraid we might have tipped her off about your lurking around here. Sorry.”

 

            “It’s fine. She would’ve found me sooner or later,” Lena said, waving away Maggie’s apology.

 

\---       

 

            The five of them left at almost midnight, climbing into Lena’s waiting car. With an exhausted sigh, Lena collapsed back against her seat, tipping her head back and closing her eyes.

 

            “Well I’m glad that’s over,” Lena mumbled.

 

            “It was good! I had fun,” Winn said enthusiastically. “The oysters were to die for, I think I ate almost a whole tray.”

 

            “We practically had to drag him away,” Alex laughed, fastening her seatbelt.

 

            “Well I’m glad someone enjoyed it,” Lena said, sitting up properly and smiling at Winn.

 

            “I’m not complaining either,” Maggie smiled, “the scotch was top shelf stuff, Luthor.”

 

            “Well nothing for the best for the Luthor’s,” Lena sighed, giving everyone a grim smile.

 

            “What was up with your mom and her speech about how proud she is of you and what you’re doing with the company?” Alex asked, giving Lena a puzzled look.

 

            “Oh, you know, just keeping up appearances and all that,” Lena smirked, rolling her eyes.

 

            “Well shit, no wonder you’re so-” Maggie trailed off, not knowing how to finish her sentence.

 

            “Fucked up?” Lena supplied, arching one of her eyebrows.

 

            “Lena!” Kara scolded her, “that’s not true! Your mom might not be nice, but you’re not her.”

 

            “Well obviously I’m not, but come on, my childhood was pretty fucked up,” Lena laughed. “I don’t think it’s normal for kids to _want_ the holidays to be over so they could go back to boarding school.”

 

            “Fuck me, who are you, Harry Potter? Did she lock you under the stairs?” Maggie asked, frowning in concern, even if she was trying to make light of the situation.

 

            “Quite the opposite. I was the light of my father’s eye, and thoroughly spoilt by both of my parents. I guess you could say I’m more of a Draco Malfoy, just less fucked up,” Lena laughed.

 

            “Personally, I’ve always thought you’d be more of a Ravenclaw,” Winn interjected.

 

            “Great, now I’m completely surrounded by nerds,” Alex said, throwing her hands up in defeat as she sighed.

 

            The conversation turned to lighter topics for the rest of the car ride. They dropped Winn off first, and then Alex and Maggie. Kara decided to stay at Lena’s that night. She knew Lena would insist that she was fine, but Kara wanted to keep an eye on her to make sure. Besides, she had something she needed to tell Lena, but she wasn’t sure tonight would be the best time to tell her. Not after the eventful evening.

 

\---

           

            They were curled up on the sofa in their pyjamas, both clutching a cup of tea as they watched some documentary on penguins. Kara eyed Lena hesitantly instead of focussing on the TV. With a sigh, Lena sat up and faced Kara.

 

            “Are you going to tell me what’s been bothering you all night, or are you just going to keep staring at me?” Lena asked, arching one eyebrow as she gave Kara an amused smile.

 

            “I-, it’s-, maybe we should talk about it in the morning,” Kara said with a half-shrug and a grimace. “I know it was a hard night for you, and I just-, I think maybe this should wait.”

 

            “What? No. I want to know what’s bothering you. It’s fine Kara, I’m fine,” Lena told her, giving her a reassuring smile.

 

            Kara stood up, her back to Lena as she took a deep breath. Turning back around, she met Lena’s gaze. “Okay, well I told you that I got called into work earlier, and well, it’s just-, I-I got promoted to Second Lieutenant.”

 

            “What! That’s amazing! Why didn’t you tell me sooner,” Lena beamed at Kara, jumping up and enveloping her in a giant hug. Kara barely returned it, before she gently pushed Lena back.

 

            “No, you don’t understand,” Kara mumbled, her face looking unusually pale and her eyes wide as she stared at Lena. “I-I’ve been transferred, to be put in charge of a platoon. W-we ship out in a month.”

 

            Kara’s words took a moment to sink in, but slowly the shock of what she was hearing registered on Lena’s face. The blood drained out of her face, leaving her especially pale, and her eyes filled with tears as she took a step back.

 

            “No,” she whispered, one hand coming up to cover her mouth. “No. No, this isn’t how it was supposed to happen. W-we’re supposed to h-have a few more months.” Her voice shook as the tears in her eyes spilled over, sliding down her cheeks.

 

            “I’m sorry,” Kara apologised, her voice cracking as her own tears traced their way down her face.

 

            “We’re s-supposed to have more time,” Lena cried. “Y-you can’t just leave. Not now, not when I-“ She cut off mid-sentence, staring at Kara with sad eyes.

 

            “Not when I love you,” Lena choked out.

 

            Kara let out a tiny sound of surprise, stepping forwards. She half expected Lena to fight her off, but she let Kara wrap her in a hug and pull her close to her chest. They sank back down onto the sofa, and Kara held Lena whilst she cried, rubbing circles on her back and murmuring soothing things to her, even as her own tears dripped down onto Lena’s hair.

 

            It was ages before Lena’s tears subsided into quiet sniffing and breathing that hitched every few seconds. Still, Kara held her against her chest, her hands still gently rubbing Lena’s back.

 

            After a little while longer, Lena moved to sit up, and Kara loosened her grip.

 

            “We should go to bed,” Lena whispered hoarsely, looking down at her lap so Kara wouldn’t see her puffy face.

 

            “Lena,” Kara said, her voice breaking. She cleared her throat and tried again. “I’m sorry, I-I didn’t know until today.”

 

            Lena looked up at Kara’s apology. Her eyes were red, and her face was puffy from all of her crying. “Don’t apologise, i-it’s not your fault. I know it’s hard for you too, I’m sorry,” Lena whispered, reaching up to wipe away the tears on Kara’s cheeks.

 

            “I know this isn’t what you wanted,” Kara mumbled, looking at Lena with a heartbroken expression on her face.

 

            “We knew it was going to happen eventually,” Lena said, shrugging as she wiped her face with her sleeves and took a deep breath. “I just … I was so sure we’d have more time together. It seemed so far away.”

 

            “I know,” Kara whispered, her shoulders sagging as she let out a defeated sigh.

 

            Lena cupped her chin, lifting Kara’s head so that she could look her in the eyes. “This changes nothing though. I-I love you,” Lena told her firmly, her jaw set as she frowned slightly.

           

            Kara let out a small laugh, giving Lena a sad smile. “Y-you don’t have to say it because we’re running out of time and you’re upset,” Kara told her, watching Lena’s expression turn to one of anger as Kara’s words registered. Lena pulled back slightly, her hand dropping away from Kara’s chin.

 

            “Don’t,” Lena snapped, “don’t belittle my feelings for you.”

 

            She regretted her tone as soon as she said the words, and winced as she saw a look of pain flicker across Kara’s face. “Sorry,” Lena apologised, her voice barely above a whisper. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, I just-, you know I would never say it if I didn’t mean it.”

 

            “You’re right,” Kara agreed, “I just-, I don’t want you to think that we have to rush things because our timeline has been moved up. I’ll come back to you, Lena.”

 

            Lena nodded, giving Kara a sad smile. She knew that Kara would come back to her, one way or another. It was the how that scared her.

 

            “Come on, let’s go to bed,” Lena said, standing up and holding her hand out for Kara’s.

 

\---

 

            That night they held on tightly to each other, not willing to let each other go even for just a second. They would have to savour every moment they spent together over the next month. Kara lay on her back, staring up at the ceiling whilst her arms encircled Lena, whose head was laying on Kara’s chest.

 

            She didn’t say anything as she noticed the wetness spreading across the front of her shirt as Lena quietly cried into it, her shoulder shaking with silent sobs as Kara rubbed her back. Kara’s own tears slid down the side of her face and dripped onto the pillow beneath her head.

 

            Eventually they both drifted off to sleep, tired from the mental exhaustion of their taxing day. It had been rough for both of them.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news I guess; I finished my other fic so I should be able to post almost daily updates for this one now. Unless uni gets in the way, which I hope it won't.
> 
> Also even better news for some of you, I guess; a few people in the comments have mentioned that they're in the military or have loved ones in the military. Obvs this is a fic, but I don't feel comfortable going with the death route when this could be a reality for some people. I know warnings are there to give people the option to decide if they're okay with it or not, but still. So the major character death is going to be axed, but it will still be very angsty and almost exactly the same, except the story will be dragged out for a lot longer.

            Lena woke up early the next morning and left Kara to sleep. She brewed a pot of coffee and took it into her office, seating herself behind her desk. She didn’t even attempt t do any work, she just stared through the open blinds, watching the sun rise over the city. She was tired, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. Her mind was still reeling from last night.

 

            The sun was high in the sky when Lena heard the door open behind her. She spun her chair around, facing Kara who had her head poked through the gap. “Oh, there you are. I didn’t know where you were,” Kara said, giving Lena a small smile.

 

            “I didn’t want to wake you,” Lena replied, looking down at her coffee mug as she toyed with it.

 

            “You look tired,” Kara said, slipping into the room and walking over to Lena. She sat down on the edge of her desk and stroked Lena’s cheek affectionately. Lena looked up and gave her a sad smile.

 

            “I couldn’t sleep properly,” she mumbled. Pushing her chair back, she stood up and held her hand out for Kara to take. “Come on, let’s get you some breakfast.”

 

            They walked out to the kitchen, and Lena opened the fridge before turning to look at Kara. “What do you want to eat?” Lena asked her.

 

            “What do _you_ want,” Kara laughed, coming up behind Lena and wrapping her arms around her waist.

 

            “No, it’s fine. I’ll make breakfast,” Lena insisted, “I’ll have to go back to relying on my chef when you leave if I don’t learn now.”

 

            Kara’s arms loosened as she pulled back. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, a lump forming in her throat.

 

            “Don’t apologise, it’s not your fault. They shouldn’t be allowed to just-, to just tell you you’re being promoted. You should have a say in this. You should get more notice,” Lena said bitterly as she reached for a carton of eggs.

 

            Kara was silent and Lena rounded on her, taking in Kara’s ashamed expression. “What is it?” Lena asked, frowning slightly as she brushed past Kara and pulled out a frying pan. “Scrambled, fried or poached?”

 

            “Fried,” Kara muttered, fiddling with the cuff of her shirt. She could feel the overwhelming guilt rising inside her.

 

            “Well? What's bothering you?” Lena asked, raising an eyebrow at Kara as she waited for her to answer her other question.

 

            “I-, well, they don’t just promote you,” Kara said slowly, pushing her glasses up her nose as she looked at the floor. “I, uh, y-you need to go to training … to become a commissioned officer. Th-they make you complete a twelve week course before. I-, it’s not … it’s not a sudden thing.”

 

            Lena turned around, frowning at Kara. “I don’t understand. You haven’t completed the train-“ She trailed off at the guilty look on Kara’s face.

 

            Lena’s jaw tightened and her eyes prickled with tears. “No,” she whispered furiously.

 

            “Lena,” Kara begged, reaching out for her, but falling short as Lena took a step backwards.

 

            “No. Please tell me you didn’t,” Lena gasped, one hand grabbing a handful of her shirt, right over her heart, which was racing as the implication behind Kara’s words sank in. The other clutched the carton of eggs, forgotten about for the time being.

 

            “I-I wanted to tell you,” Kara started, wiping the tears that had started to fall down her cheeks.

 

            The eggs dropped to the floor, cracking on impact and oozing across the floor as Lena stared at Kara with shock and hurt. She turned around and clutched the edge of the kitchen counter, her tears dripping down to the floor as she held back her sobs.

 

            Kara reached out to lay a hand on Lena’s shoulder, jumping back when Lena whirled around, her eyes filled with anger. “Don’t touch me,” Lena snapped.

 

            Kara winced, taking a step backwards, her bare feet slipping on the broken eggs. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Lena,” Kara apologised, her arms wrapping around herself, as if to keep herself from falling apart.

 

            “You lied to me,” Lena said, her voice cracking as she looked at Kara with a hurt expression on her face. “H-how could you.”

 

            “I was waiting for the right time. I wasn’t even sure if I would complete my training,” Kara explained, trying to make Lena understand.

 

            “Twelve weeks! You had three months to tell me! When was the right time going to be?” Lena yelled at her, running her hands through her hair and looking up at the ceiling. Her bottom lip quivered as more tears streamed down her face. “You lied to me!”

 

            “Lena, please. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” Kara cried, “I didn’t want you to worry over nothing. We hadn’t been together that long, I was scared.”

 

            “I have been honest with you about everything,” Lena said, gesturing widely. “And you kept this huge thing from me. Did you even think about our relationship?”

 

            “Of course I did!” Kara shouted. “I thought about it every second of my training, but this is my job, Lena. It was going to happen eventually.”

 

            “Yes, eventually! I thought-, you-, we were supposed to have more time,” Lena retorted.

 

            “I’m sorry. I know it was wrong to keep it from you, but I was so afraid you’d leave. That it’d be too much too soon. I didn’t want you to shut me out,” Kara said, her breathing hitching as she spoke.

 

            “You should have trusted me,” Lena told her, wiping at her cheeks.

 

            “I know. I do trust you,” Kara told her, taking a step forward.

 

            “Just-“ Lena began, holding a hand out to stop Kara from coming any closer. “Just tell me one thing; when did you know? That you were up for a promotion?”

 

            Kara was silent for a moment, before she took a deep breath and gave Lena a pleading look. “Th-there was talk when I got back, before I met you,” Kara admitted.

 

            Lena brushed her hair out of her face and crossed her arms over her chest. Taking a deep breath, she calmed herself down before speaking. “I’d like you to leave,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

 

            “Lena, please,” Kara begged. Lena didn’t look up from the floor to meet her gaze.

 

            “Now, please,” she told Kara, and somehow it was worse that she wasn’t screaming and shouting anymore. Kara would have preferred it if Lena was angry, at least then her emotions would have been out of check. But instead, she was quiet and firm as she asked Kara to leave, and Kara knew that she wouldn’t be able to reason with Lena now.

 

            Not bothering to get changed out of her pyjamas, Kara walked past Lena, who was still staring at the ground, and lifted her coat off the hook. She shrugged it on and picked up her shoes, hesitating before walking out of the apartment.

 

            At the sound of the front door shutting, Lena sank down to the kitchen floor, her calm façade dropping as she let out a sob. Holding herself together, she fell apart. She wasn’t sure how long she sat there crying before she got herself under control, but eventually she pulled herself off the floor and started cleaning up the mess on the floor.

 

            Lena stripped her egg covered pyjamas off, and padded to the bathroom. She took a long shower, by her standards, and tried to relax under the hot water. It didn’t help much, but she felt slightly better after washing her tearstained face and putting on some clean clothes. Pouring another cup of coffee, Lena went back to her office and started up her computer. She looked down at the photo frame on her desk; the only personal item in her office.

 

            It was the polaroid of Kara she’d taken when they’d gone on their picnic. Lena traced the side of Kara's face with one finger, looking down at her warm smile and the flower crown perched upon her forehead at a slight angle.

 

            The breath rushed out of Lena’s lungs, and her shoulders dropped in defeat as she picked up the photo frame. She brought her knees up to her chest, curling up into a ball in her seat as she clutched the photo to her. Trying not to cry, Lena sat there feeling miserable. She was angry at Kara, but she understood why she did it. Lena knew her anger was really directed at the unfairness of the situation. It wasn’t fair that their time together had to be cut short.

 

\---

 

            Lena spent the rest of the afternoon moping around her apartment. She couldn’t focus on her work, so she just wandered around aimlessly or lay down on the sofa and stared at the sky through her skylight, watching the blue sky fade to black.

 

            She checked her phone a few times, torn between messaging Kara and leaving it for a while longer. Lena didn’t want them to argue again. It was obviously hard for Kara too, and Lena regretted losing her temper earlier, even if her anger had felt justified at the time.

 

            Eventually, she gave in and decided that they needed to talk. Lena hadn’t given Kara the chance to explain properly, and no matter how upset she was, she owed it to Kara. This was something they needed to do face to face though, so Lena pulled her coat and shoes on. Hopefully the walk over to Alex’s place would help clear Lena’s head.

 

            She opened the door and let out a small sound of surprise as she stepped outside and almost fell over Kara, who was curled up next to the door.

 

            “Fuck,” Lena swore, clutching her chest as she stared down at a startled Kara, who quickly scrambled to her feet. She left a large gap between Lena and herself, acknowledging the fact that Lena probably didn’t want Kara to invade her personal space right now.

 

            “You scared me. Have you been out here the entire time?” Lena asked her, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she frowned slightly.

 

            “Um, yeah,” Kara mumbled, tucking her hair behind her ear as she looked at the floor.

 

            “Oh,” Lena said, “I-, um, why didn’t you knock?”

 

            “You, uh, you told me to go, so …” Kara shrugged, glancing up at Lena. “I just … I didn’t want to leave you alone. I thought I’d just, you know, wait until you were ready to talk.”

 

            “Right,” Lena said slowly. “I was, um, about to come and see you. To talk.”

 

            Kara nodded, fiddling with the buttons on her coat as she looked at Lena with a nervous look on her face. She wasn’t sure how this conversation was about to go down.

 

            “Um, did you want to come in? Have a shower and some food before we talk?” Lena asked, moving to the side to let Kara walk inside.

 

            “Sure,” Kara agreed, brushing past her and making her way inside.

 

            “You know where everything is,” Lena muttered, gesturing towards the other hallway for Kara to help herself. Silently, Kara walked off to the bathroom and Lena set about ordering them some pizza.

 

\---

 

            Fifteen minutes later they were sat at the table, eating their food in silence. Kara looked a lot better after getting some food in her and showering, but she looked weary from their argument this morning. She was angry at herself for hurting Lena.

 

            They finished eating and Lena picked up the boxes, putting the leftovers in the fridge. Kara stood up and slowly took a few steps towards the kitchen. Lena shut the fridge and made her way to the end of the kitchen counters, leaning against them and crossing her arms over her chest.

 

            “So,” she began, looking at Kara with a hesitant look on her face.

 

            “Lena, I-,” Kara started, staring back at her from across the room with pleading eyes.

 

            “C-can I go first?” Lena interrupted. “I just, I have some things I need to say.” Kara nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat.

 

            “I, um, well I just want to say I’m sorry. I reacted badly and I put all of the blame on you. I-I’m upset that you lied to me, but I promised you that I wouldn’t let your job come between us … and I did. So I’m sorry for that,” Lena told her.

 

            “You have every right to be mad,” Kara replied, her voice cracking as she spoke. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I did and there’s no excusing that. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you at the beginning, but I was scared that you wouldn’t think our relationship was worth it. I didn’t want to lose you.”

 

            “I know. I know it wasn’t intentional, and I know that I’ve never put much stock in love and all that shit. I’m not you." She let out a quick laugh, thinking about all of the love quotes and true love nonsense Kara spouted.

 

            "But I was already in too deep, from the second I let you sit down at the table in the café. I wouldn’t have gone anywhere, I told you that the last time we talked about your deployment, and I just … I wish you would believe me when I said I wouldn’t leave. I’m still trying to figure things out,” Lena explained, shrugging as she looked at Kara with eyes glassy with tears.

 

            “I should’ve trusted you more. I know how hard relationships are for you, but I know how much you’ve changed since we first met,” Kara said, giving Lena a small smile. “You’re not the same person I met six months ago, and I’m sorry for doubting your commitment to us.”

 

            They were both silent. The gap between them seemed so far as the silence stretched on, neither of them knowing how to reply. Kara was itching to reach out for Lena. To cross the room and hold her close.

 

            “So … where does that leave us?” Kara asked quietly.

 

            “What?” Lena choked out, her panic flaring up. “No, Jesus, no, Kara. I love you, one fight doesn’t change that. I told you we would work through it; we knew it would be hard. This is just one of the harder parts. I’m not mad that you got promoted or went through training, I’m mad that you kept it a secret. I want you to be able to tell me everything, even if I’m not going to like it. I’m an organiser. I like schedules and plans and I just need to know these things so I can adjust. Just don’t keep secrets, please.”

 

            “Oh … so you don’t-, we’re not … breaking up?” Kara asked, a worried expression on her face.

 

            “Fucking hell, no! We just had a ten-minute conversation about how I’m mad at you for thinking I would leave and you _still_ think I would leave?” Lena laughed, shaking her head at Kara as she smiled at her. “Do you think I would say I love you if I was leaving?”

 

            “Sorry,” Kara said, biting her lip to keep herself from laughing. “I’m just so … I don’t know what’s happening.”

 

            “Come here,” Lena murmured, opening her arms and gesturing for Kara to come to her. Kara’s shoulders dropped as she let out a sigh of relief and quickly crossed the room, falling into Lena’s waiting arms.

 

            “I’m sorry,” Kara whispered, holding Lena tightly.

 

            “I know,” Lena replied softly. “I forgive you. I’m sorry too.” She pulled back and brushed the hair out of Kara’s face before placing a soft kiss on her lips. She turned around and went to make them both some tea; she found that tea made everything better.

 

            Lena walked over to the sofa, carrying the two cups, and sat down next to Kara. After taking a sip of her tea, Lena cleared her throat. “So, I think we should talk about this more,” she told Kara, “like, is there anything else I should know about this? You can tell me anything, I want to know.”

 

            They sat there for the better part of an hour as Kara explained what the promotion entailed, and answered Lena’s questions as best as she could. By the time they finished talking, they both felt better, and Lena didn’t feel so shut off from Kara. It was hard for her to adjust to the thought of Kara being gone in a month’s time, but for now, she was just glad to have Kara curled up next to her on the sofa.

 

\---

 

            That night, Kara stayed over again, and as they got into bed, Lena rolled over to face Kara. “Hey,” she whispered softly, “I’m really proud of you for getting promoted.”

 

            Kara quietly laughed, and Lena could hear the smile in her reply. “Thank you.”

 

            “We’re okay, aren’t we?” Lena asked, not wanting to go to bed leaving things unresolved.

 

            “Yeah. Yeah, we’re good,” Kara whispered, fumbling in the dark to find Lena’s face so she could kiss her goodnight. “I love you.”

 

            “I know. I love you too,” Lena replied, smiling slightly as she said it. Rolling back over, she let out a sigh of relief, smiling as Kara’s arm snaked around her waist, pulling her close.

 

            Things would work out in the end, Lena had no doubt about it.


	18. Chapter 18

            The next week passed by quickly. Kara was constantly busy with work and making plans for her deployment, and Lena tried to keep herself busy at the office whenever Kara wasn’t around. She kept her emotions on a tight leash around Kara, not wanting to break down again, but at L-Corp she found herself irritable, and snapped at the staff at the slightest inconvenience.

 

            Lena found herself gravitating towards Alex. She was about to lose her sister, and Lena sought comfort with her. Still, there was an overwhelming pit of sadness growing bigger every day as the date of deployment neared. Lena had always been alone, she had found it comforting, but now, she couldn’t imagine not being able to see Kara every day. She didn’t want to be alone.

 

            It was Friday night, and Lena was at Alex’s apartment, typing away at her keyboard as she waited for Kara to come home from work. She’d spent three nights at Alex’s place this week, at Alex’s insistence, so that Kara could spend time with both her sister and her girlfriend.

 

            The sound of a key in the lock caught Lena’s attention, and she perked up, a smile curling the corners of her lips. Kara pushed the door open, groaning loudly as she shuffled over the threshold. “Hey, busy day?” Lena asked, closing her laptop and standing up.

 

            “Hey you,” Alex called from the other end of the sofa, looking away from the TV to smile at Kara.

 

            “I’m sooo tired,” Kara grumbled, kissing Lena on the cheek as she slipped her boots off.

 

            “We got takeaway, there’s leftovers in the fridge,” Alex told her, changing the channel to a crime documentary.

 

            “I’ll heat some up for you whilst you shower,” Lena murmured, trailing a thumb over Kara’s cheek as she smiled at her.

 

            “You’re the best,” Kara smiled, her nose wrinkling slightly. Lena pulled back and walked into the kitchen whilst Kara walked down the hallway. She scraped some noodles onto a plate and shoved it into the microwave.

 

            “Hey, Alex, do you mind if I make some coffee?” Lena asked.

 

            “Oh my God, you literally ask every time. Just take whatever you want, but don’t touch Maggie’s vegan ice cream or she’ll probably shoot you,” Alex laughed.

 

            “Wouldn’t dream of it,” Lena smiled, setting a pot of coffee to brew. “Do you want a cup?”

 

            “Sure,” Alex called back, absorbed in the bloody crime scene displayed on the screen. The microwave beeped and Lena pulled out the steaming food, setting it on the counter before pulling out three mugs. She poured coffee into them and carried hers and Alex’s over to the sofa.

 

            “Thanks,” Alex murmured, taking the cup off Lena whilst her eyes remained glued to the TV. “I bet you ten dollars it’s the boyfriend’s brother.”

 

            “Piss off, I’m not falling for this again. You win every time, and I’m not stupid,” Lena scoffed. Alex rolled her eyes, smirking as she took a sip of her coffee.

 

            “Damn, I guess I’ll have to pay for my own coffee tomorrow then,” Alex said.

 

            Kara walked out of the hallway, dressed in her pyjamas and a towel held in her hands as she dried her wet hair. “Trying to con her again?” Kara asked, raising her eyebrows as she looked at them both with an amused look on her face.

 

            “Luckily, I learn from my mistakes, so my fortune is still intact,” Lena smiled at Kara. “Your food’s on the counter, and there’s coffee in the pot.”

 

            “It only took you, what, six losses?” Alex asked, a smug look crossing her face. “I guess your pride couldn’t handle another one, huh?”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes, biting her lip to stop herself from smiling. “Fine. Ten dollars that it’s not the boyfriend’s brother.”

 

            “She’s going to bleed you dry before I come back,” Kara sighed, shaking her head as she sat down between them. She started shovelling food into her mouth, watching the TV with interest as she waited to find out who the killer was.

 

            There was an uproar as the killer was identified as the boyfriend’s brother.

 

            “Fuck,” Lena swore, collapsing back against the sofa in defeat.

 

            “YES!” Alex cheered, smiling smugly and pointing at Lena. “Cough up Luthor. I guess coffee’s on you after all.”

 

            “You’re cheating!” Lena protested. “You’ve seen it before! No way can you get _all_ of them right every fucking time!”

 

            “Um, I happen to be an excellent special agent, one of the FBI’s finest if I do say so myself, and I’m personally offended you would doubt my investigative skills,” Alex gasped, holding a hand to her chest in mock offense.

 

            “Whatever,” Lena grumbled, “we all know you’d get you ass handed to you if it was like, that one where you buy the things and the houses or whatever.”

 

            “What? Are you talking about monopoly?” Alex asked, giving Lena a confused look.

 

            “I don’t know what it’s fucking called, you just-, you buy places and there’s money,” Lena shrugged.

 

            “Oh God, you two are like little kids,” Kara laughed, looking back and forth at the two of them bickering.

 

            “No, no,” Alex said, holding her hand up, “I want to hear this proposal. Monopoly you say?”

 

            Lena sighed, already regretting challenging Alex. “Well I’ve never played it before but I just know I would beat you at it.”

 

            “Wait, you’ve never played monopoly?” Kara asked, shooting Lena a look of surprise.

 

            “You can’t really play it by yourself,” Lena mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed as she shrugged.

 

            “Oh,” Kara softly exclaimed in surprise. She’d forgotten for a moment that Lena hadn’t had any friends, and that her family weren’t the kind to play board games.

 

            “Okay, so we’ll play it when we go to mom’s,” Alex told her with a small smile.

 

            “Your mom’s?” Lena asked, frowning in confusion.

 

            “Oh, right! I was talking to my mom this morning. She prefers to come to the city to see us, but I usually go and spend a couple of weeks with her before I get deployed, and well, I told Eliza I’d see if you could get away from the office for maybe a couple of days,” Kara explained, a nervous expression on her face.

 

            “You want me to meet your mom?” Lena asked hesitantly, taken by surprise.

 

            “She’s not that scary,” Alex whispered from the other end of the couch.

 

            Lena let out a surprised laugh, clapping her hand over her mouth. “Well she couldn’t be worse than mine, at any rate. I’d love to come.”

 

            “Really?” Kara said with surprise, “I know you’re busy, but you don’t have to come for the whole time if you don’t want to. You can just meet me down there for a couple of days.”

 

            “No, it’s fine, I can come for the whole time,” Lena assured her, giving Kara a small smile.

 

            “Maggie’s coming too, if that helps,” Alex told her, flicking over to another channel.

 

            “Oh great, well now you’ve ruined the entire trip,” Lena sighed dramatically. “I won’t get a moments peace with the two of you harassing me nonstop.”

 

            Kara muffled a laugh, shaking her head at the two of them. Her laughter was cut off by a yawn, which she stifled. “Tired?” Lena whispered, nudging her slightly.

 

            “Mm, time for bed I think,” Kara muttered, rubbing at her eyes.

 

            “I’ll see you both in the morning,” Alex told them, “goodnight.”

 

            They murmured their own goodnights and walked down the hallway to Kara’s bedroom. Kara flopped down onto the bed with a giant sigh and Lena let out a quiet laugh, flicking off the light and blindly shuffling towards the bed. She slid in next to Kara and wrapped her arms around her waist, placing a kiss on her shoulder. Reaching up, Lena plucked Kara’s glasses off her face, before she ended up forgetting and falling asleep with them on.

 

            “Goodnight,” Lena whispered. She felt Kara’s head turn around, and her lips found Lena’s in the dark, giving her a gentle kiss.

 

            “Goodnight, I love you,” Kara murmured, her voice already sounding like she was half asleep.

 

            “I love you too,” Lena replied, smiling slightly.

 

\---

 

            She woke up early the next morning and quietly tiptoed out of Kara’s room, looking back over her shoulder and smiling at the curled up ball hiding under the covers and the blonde hair spread across the pillows.

 

            It was still early and Alex wasn’t up yet, so Lena took her advice and put a fresh pot of coffee on and opened the fridge. She’d watched Kara make pancakes a dozen times by now, and it didn’t look so hard, so Lena figured she’d make breakfast this morning. Kara and Alex were early risers but she figured she had enough of a head-start to get breakfast started before they came wandering out.

 

            Lena tried to be as quiet as possible as she pulled out a mixing bowl and got the rest of the ingredients out. Dumping everything into a bowl, she mixed it all together, quietly humming to herself. Pouring three blobs of the mixture into the large frying pan, Lena turned around and put some coffee on to brew.

 

            She let out a startled yell as warm hands grabbed her by the waist and Kara’s voice whispered in her ear, “someone’s in a good mood this morning.”

 

            “Fucking hell, you scared the shit out of me,” Lena gasped, her heart racing as she turned to face Kara, who was grinning widely. She smiled back, leaning in to kiss Kara, before walking back over to the stove. “I’m making pancakes.”

 

            “You’re making pancakes?” Kara said, her eyebrows rising in surprise.

 

            “Mhm,” Lena smiled, “I think so anyway, but who the fuck knows. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

 

            Kara laughed and started opening some cupboards whilst Lena slid the pancakes out of the pan and ladled in some of the mixture. Setting the plates down on the counter, Kara turned and walked back down the hallway and knocked on Alex’s door. “Alex, do you want pancakes? I think.”

 

            Lena let out a quick laugh at the muffled groaning Kara got in reply. Shaking her head as she smiled down at the pancake. She lifted one side, checking the colour of it, and satisfied with the golden brown colour, she flipped it over. So far so good. She knew she’d never live it down if she messed them up, and she was glad Maggie wasn’t here because she knew she’d cop it worst of all from her.

 

            Sliding the pancake out of the pan, she poured in more of the mixture and watched as Kara walked back down the hallway, with Alex shuffling along behind her. “Good morning,” Lena said, looking at Alex’s disgruntled expression.

 

            “I need coffee,” Alex said by way of reply, and Lena gestured to the pot that was brewing. Lena slid the next pancake onto the stack and handed the plate to Kara. There was a knock on the door, and Alex raced over to it with a big smile on her face. Maggie walked in, kissing Alex and waving to Lena and Kara.

 

            “Just in time for some pancakes,” Kara smiled widely at her as Lena sighed.

 

            “Just in time to make fun of my cooking is more like it,” Lena laughed.

 

            Kara walked over to the table with the pancakes, whilst Lena poured some more in the frying pan. She watched warily as the three of them dug into them, and waited for Maggie’s teasing comment.

 

            “Congrats Luthor, you’ve graduated to three ingredient recipes,” Maggie said, flashing her dimples as she grinned at Lena. Lena rolled her eyes, laughing as she added more pancakes to the plate. Carrying them over to the table, she joined the three of them and pulled some food onto her own plate. The conversation turned to the trip to Midvale.

 

            “So how are we getting there?” Lena asked, pouring some maple syrup onto her plate. “We can take my jet if you want to fly.”

 

            "We usually just take the train, it's only a few hours," Kara told her.

 

            As Kara spoke there was a choking sound as Maggie’s sip of coffee went down the wrong way. Lena knew she’d given Maggie some new ammunition the second she spoke, and she closed her eyes, sighing heavily as she waited for the comments.

 

            “Why am I not surprised?” Maggie asked, shaking her head incredulously. “Of _course_ you have a private jet.”

 

            “Correction, the three of us can take my private jet and Maggie can fly commercial,” Lena amended herself, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

 

            “Actually, you know what? I feel very grateful to have a friend with a private jet, who I know is generous enough to take me to Italy for my birthday,” Maggie laughed, backtracking slightly.

 

            “Oh, so we’re friends now?” Lena asked, smirking at Maggie.

 

            “Don’t let it get to your head, I know having friends is shocking to you,” Alex joked.

 

            “God, you two are insufferable. Now I know why you’re dating,” Lena laughed, shaking her head as she cut up her food.

 

            “Just imagine how I feel,” Kara piped up, rolling her eyes dramatically, “I have to deal with all three of you.”

 

            Lena’s laughter was cut off by her phone vibrating. She looked down at the text that lit up her screen, her expression turning sour as she saw who it was off.

 

            “Everything okay?” Kara asked, her head tilted to the side as she looked at Lena with concern.

 

            “It’s my mom, she’s at my place,” Lena explained, putting her phone down on the table and leaving the text unanswered.

 

            “Oh, I thought she’d left town already,” Kara said, and Lena shrugged in reply. She didn’t keep tabs on her mom’s comings and goings; quite frankly, Lena couldn’t care less where she was as long as it wasn’t near her.

 

            “What does she want?” Kara asked hesitantly.

 

            “I don’t know, and to be honest, I don’t care. Nothing good will come of it,” Lena said casually, but Kara knew her mom bothered her, even if she refused to show it.

 

\---

 

            After breakfast, Lena took a quick shower and borrowed one of Kara’s shirts. Lena had suggested that they go to the art museum today, to let Kara see her favourite paintings and the new exhibit before she left. First, they made a quick pit stop at Lena’s apartment.

 

            The elevator stopped at the top floor, and they walked out. Lena stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of her mother stood in the hallway, arms crossed over her chest and an impatient look on her face.

 

            “Oh, so you are alive then,” Lillian said, her voice full of disapproval as she took in the sight of Lena. “I wouldn’t know, seeing as you wouldn’t answer my calls or texts.”

 

            “I’ve been busy,” Lena shrugged, glaring at her mom as she walked over to her door and unlocked it.

 

            “Yes … I can see that,” Lillian said, her gaze flicking to Kara. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

 

            Lena let out a cold laugh, rolling her eyes at Lillian. “I doubt whether I invite you in or not will make little difference. You probably had a locksmith come and make you a key the day I moved in.”

 

            Kara awkwardly walked into Lena’s apartment, making her way to the kitchen whilst she listened to the pair bickering as they followed her down the hallway.

 

            “Um, should I make some coffee?” Kara asked, raising her eyebrows at Lena in question.

 

            “No, she won’t be here that long,” Lena told her before shifting her attention to Lillian. “Let’s cut to the chase; why are you here?”

 

            “Am I not allowed to visit you when I’m in town?” Lillian asked, looking at her daughter with disapproval.

 

            Lena laughed bitterly, “well you never have before, so obviously there’s a specific reason why you're here.”

 

            “Perhaps we could go out for lunch and talk,” Lillian offered, ignoring Lena’s tone for the sake of avoiding an argument. She was sure that would come further down the conversation; there was no need to provoke her now.

 

            “I’m busy,” Lena said coldly, crossing her arms and lifting her chin slightly. “Besides, whatever you want to tell me, you can say in front of Kara too.”

 

            Lillian dropped all pretences of being nice and drew herself up to her full height as she surveyed Lena, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Very well. I don’t like your relationship with her.”

 

            Lena let out a laugh in disbelief. “Her name is Kara, and she’s standing two feet away from you. Also I don’t care what you think, so your opinion is irrelevant here. If that’s all, you can show yourself out.”

 

            “I’m trying to look out for you, Lena. You might see me as this monster, but I do care about you Lena, and I don’t want to see you get hurt,” Lillian said, the sharp lines of her face softening momentarily as she looked at her daughter.

 

            “We both know that’s not true,” Lena said bitterly, her face a mask of stone. “And Kara’s not the one who’s going to hurt me.”

 

            “And what about when she doesn’t come back?” Lillian shot back.

 

            Lena’s face went white as all the blood drained out of it, and her eyes were blazing with anger. “Get out,” she hissed at Lillian.

 

            No one moved for a moment, and then Lillian turned on her heel and strode out of the apartment without another word. The front door slammed, snapping them out of their frozen states, and Kara took a step forward, one hand reaching out towards Lena. She gently touched Lena’s shoulder, before moving closer and cupping Lena’s face with the other hand.

 

            “Don’t listen to her,” Kara whispered, pressing a kiss to Lena’s forehead.

 

            Lena let out a choked up laugh, “I never thought I’d say it, but she’s right though.”

 

            “No she’s not. I’ll come back to you, even if I have to crawl home,” Kara promised. She spoke as if she knew it for a fact, and left no room for any argument. Lena sighed, bringing her arms up to wrap around Kara and pull her close.

 

            They stood like that for a few minutes, whilst Lena tried to get her fears under control. She knew Lillian was only saying it to be spiteful, and she wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of letting it get to her. Eventually she pulled back, giving Kara a weak smile. “Now, I believe I promised you a visit to the An-My Lê exhibit.”

 

            “We don’t have to go, we can just stay here,” Kara told her, looking concerned.

 

            “Uh, no. I’m not letting my mom ruin our plans. Besides, I know you really want to see Lê’s photos,” Lena insisted. She leant in to give Kara a quick kiss before pulling back. She disappeared into her bedroom to get ready, and five minutes later came back out.

 

            Holding her hand out for Kara’s hand, Lena smiled at her. “Come on,” she smiled, as she enlaced their fingers “let’s go see some art.”


	19. Chapter 19

            Over the next week, Lena only saw Kara for a few hours each night. Every day, she could feel Kara slipping away from her, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it. Frustrated, Lena gave Jess some orders, setting her plan into motion. Tonight they were going to have a nice, romantic meal together and spend some quality time together. Kara hadn't been deployed yet, and Lena was determined to make the most of the time they had left together. Of course, she could understand why Kara was pulling away, but she was going to leave either way, and Lena would have to deal with the heartache of missing her whether they spent the next few weeks attached at the hip or barely seeing each other at all. The only difference was that she'd prefer to spend as much time with Kara as she could.

 

            She stayed at the office late that night, waiting for Kara to call her before deciding to leave. Jess poked her head in around six, informing Lena that she’d fulfilled her requests, and Lena dismissed her for the night.

 

            It wasn’t until six o’clock that Lena’s phone rang. She smiled as she answered it, listening to Kara’s voice come through.

 

 _“Hi! I’m just leaving work now; I’ll be there in like an hour. Are we still on for dinner tonight?”_ Kara cheerfully babbled.

 

            “Hi, no problem. Yes, I’ll sort out dinner,” Lena assured Kara.

 

 _“Great! See you soon, bye,”_ Kara said, before the phone went dead.

 

            Lena smiled slightly to herself, refocussing her attention back onto the plans for L-Corp’s latest product. She still had a while before Kara would make it back to the city so Lena thought she’d make the most of her time at the office.

 

\---

           

            Lena stepped out of the shower and padded back into her room. She quickly got changed before heading out to the kitchen, making sure everything was in order for when Kara got here, which should be any minute now.

 

            She shut the oven door at the sound of a knock on the door, and quickly untied the apron around her waist, throwing it onto the counter as she rushed to the door. Throwing it open, Lena smiled widely at Kara, leaning in to give her a hard kiss.

 

            “Oh, hi,” Kara blinked in surprise, taken aback by Lena’s bright expression and forwardness. “You’re in a good mood.”

 

            “Well I am now,” Lena murmured, kissing Kara again; softly this time. She gave her a once over, taken in the shirt and jeans that Kara was wearing. Obviously she’d already been home, which meant that she wouldn’t need a shower before dinner.

 

            Taking Kara by the hand, Lena pulled her inside and shut the door, before setting off back down the hallway with Kara in tow. At the end of the hallway Kara stopped in her tracks, looking around the room with wide eyes. There were flowers covering every surface, and candles flickering softly, bathing the room in an orange glow.

 

            “Oh, wow,” Kara softly murmured, turning to look at Lena with a smile on her face. “What’s the occasion?”

 

            “Does there need to be one?” Lena asked, raising an eyebrow at Kara as she smiled smugly.

 

            Kara walked over to the nearest bunch of flowers, reaching out to gently touch the petals of one of them. “What kind of flowers are these?” she asked.

 

            Lena came up behind her, wrapping her hands around Kara’s waist and placing her lips to her neck. “They’re called plumerias,” Lena told her, kissing her way down Kara’s neck.

 

            “They’re beautiful,” Kara said, closing her eyes and revelling in the feeling of the kisses Lena placed on her neck. Suddenly Lena pulled away, walking around the kitchen counter and opening the oven.

 

            “The first course will be ready soon,” Lena smiled, enjoying the look of surprise on Kara’s face.

 

            “The first course?” Kara asked, walking over to Lena to see what she was cooking. Her path was blocked by Lena’s hand as she cut her off mid-step.

 

            “No, you sit down. It’s a surprise.” Lena grinned at her. “A good one I hope. I’ve been getting better.” Kara sighed, giving Lena an exasperated look, even as she walked over to the sofa.

 

            “Would you like a glass of wine, or did you want to wait until we eat?” Lena asked, pulling a pan out of the oven and setting it on top of the stove. Shuffling around the kitchen, Lena pulled out plates and other ingredients, finishing the prep for the main course.

 

            “I’ll just wait until we eat,” Kara assured her, “which I can’t wait for, because whatever it is smells amazing.”

 

            Lena let out a quick laugh, knowing that Kara would lie to her even if it was awful, just so Lena’s feelings didn’t get hurt. “Do you want to put some music on then?” Lena asked, gesturing to the record player and stack of vinyls.

 

            Kara got up and walked over to it, rifling through the stack of records, before pulling one out with a triumphant smile on her face. “How about Philip Glass?” she called over to Lena.

 

            “Whatever you want,” Lena replied, shrugging indifferently.

 

            Kara laughed, sliding the vinyl out of the cover and placing it on the record player. “Please, I know Metamorphosis One is your favourite piece,” Kara told her, dropping the needle down onto the vinyl and filling the apartment with music. Lena smiled at the first notes of the piano, taking comfort in the soothing song.

 

            Adding the final touches to their starters, Lena picked up their plates and carried them over to the table, setting them down gently. Kara wandered over, curious to see what they were eating, and starving from a long day at work.

 

            Lena pulled out Kara’s chair for her, giving her a warm smiled as she gestured for Kara to sit down. With a quiet laugh, Kara let Lena help her into her seat, murmuring her thanks. Walking around to the other side of the table, Lena sat herself down and poured them both a glass of wine.

 

            “This looks so good,” Kara said, not even trying to disguise the surprise in her voice. “What is it?”

 

            “Um, it’s rockmelon bruschetta with goat’s cheese and prosciutto,” Lena informed her, picking hers up and inspecting it.

 

            “Fancy,” Kara commented, giving Lena a wide smile as she took a bite. She mumbled her approval through her mouthful of food and Lena laughed softly, shaking her head as she took a bite of her own.

 

            They both talked about their days as they made their way through the starters, and once finished, Lena carried their empty plates to the kitchen, insisting that Kara stay seated whilst Lena prepared the second course. A few minutes later she walked back over with another two plates, and set Kara’s down in front of her.

 

            “And here we have salmon with a quinoa, brown rice and vegetables,” Lena explained as she took her seat.

 

            “Did you actually make all of this yourself?” Kara asked sceptically, eyeing the food.

 

            “Um, yes, I did actually,” Lena huffed, pretending to be offended by Kara’s scepticism. “I mean, did pick foods that didn’t really need to be cooked too much, just in case.”

 

            They both laughed as they dug into their food, and Lena was pleasantly surprised to find that she had actually done a pretty good job. “The dessert is by far the best part though,” Lena told Kara.

 

            “Ooo, what did you make?” Kara asked, cutting up her salmon and popping a piece into her mouth.

 

            “Well I didn’t make it, but you’ll thank me for that,” Lena laughed. “I picked up some chocolate pecan pie from your favourite place, and I remembered the ice cream this time.”

 

            “Oh my God, yes. You spoil me,” Kara smiled widely at Lena, her eyes lit up at the thought of the pie.

 

            “Hardly,” Lena smiled, feeling pleased with herself. Everything was going great so far, Kara wasn’t pushing her away.

 

\---

           

            After they finished the pie, Kara carried their plates over to the kitchen, finishing up a story about one of the soldiers in her platoon. She opened the dishwasher as Lena extinguished the candles on the table. “Oh, it’s fine, just leave the dishes,” Lena told her, moving to turn off the music.

 

            “No, no,” Kara argued, “you cooked, so I’ll clean up.”

 

            Lena walked over to the kitchen, smirking to herself as she came up behind Kara and grabbed her by the waist. She kissed her just below her ear and heard Kara’s sharp intake of breath. “Leave the dishes,” Lena whispered in her ear, smiling as the plate slid out of Kara’s hand and clattered back into the sink.

 

            Lena turned her around and pressed a hard kiss to Kara’s lips, her hands trailing upwards and grabbing a fistful of Kara’s shirt as she pulled her closer. Kara kissed her back slowly, the passion behind Lena’s kiss taking her by surprise. Running her tongue along Kara’s bottom lip, Lena deepened the kiss, one hand cupping the side of Kara’s neck as the other untucked her shirt. She felt Kara’s hands come up and tangle in her hair.

 

            She managed to get Kara’s shirt untucked and her fingers went to the top button, fumbling slightly as she tried to undo it. Kara pulled away slightly. “Lena,” Kara whispered against her lips, her hands still entwined in Lena’s hair.

 

            “Mm?” Lena murmured in reply, her hands going to her own shirt as she started unbuttoning it.

 

            “What’re you doing?” Kara asked quietly, breathing heavily.

 

            Lena let out a breathless laugh. “What does it look like I’m doing?” she smirked, undoing the last button and letting her shirt fall to the floor. Kara’s eyes widened and her mouth hung open as she tried to form a coherent sentence in reply.

 

            “Wha-, um, y-you,” Kara stammered as she looked at Lena stood there in her lacy bra. Lena cupped Kara’s face again, placing a teasing kiss on Kara’s lips, before gently biting her lip.

 

            “How about we go to my bedroom,” Lena suggested, her hands trailing down Kara’s body before she took her by the hand, walking backwards. Kara stumbled forward as if in a trance, and then shaking herself out of it, moved towards Lena quickly. Lena let out a squeal of laughter as Kara smoothly picked her up, and wrapped her legs around Kara’s waist. Their lips found each other again, and Kara started towards the bedroom.

 

            They bumped into the counter and the wall, but eventually, both laughing in between kisses, they made it to the bedroom door, and Lena fumbled behind her for the handle. Kara carried Lena over the threshold of the bedroom, before setting her down and kicking the door shut behind them.

 

            Kara looked behind Lena, letting out a quick laugh as she took in the bedroom. There were more flowers and candles spread around the room, and rose petals laid upon the bedspread.

 

            “What is it?” Lena asked, pushing aside the collar of Kara’s shirt to place a kiss on her collarbone.

 

            “Oh my God, you’re trying to seduce me,” Kara laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she covered her mouth with her hand.

 

            “What?” Lena said, bringing her head back up to look at Kara in confusion.

 

            “The three course meal, the flowers, the candles, the lingerie,” Kara listed as she laughed. Lena’s eyes went wide at Kara’s words, and she let out a surprised laugh.

 

            “Oh fuck me, I’m seducing you,” Lena exclaimed, biting her lip to stop herself from laughing.

 

            Kara started laughing again and Lena couldn’t stop herself from joining in. The two of them stood there laughing in the semi-darkness of the room, their faces lit orange by the flickering light of the candles. Lena reached out to pull Kara closer, and they came together in a slow kiss. This kiss was different, filled with desire and longing.

 

            And then they were both moving quickly as Lena’s hands undid the row of buttons on Kara’s shirt, and Kara stripped off her jeans, placing desperate kisses on each other’s lips. They both stood in front of each other in their underwear, and Lena cracked a smile at the flowers on Kara’s knickers.

 

            “Are those daisies,” she asked, pulling Kara closer by the waistband of them.

 

            Kara flushed with embarrassment, crossing her arms as she looked down. “Well I clearly didn’t know or I would’ve, I don’t know, wore something that matches,” Kara sighed, rolling her eyes at Lena.

 

            “I like them, they’re … cute,” Lena laughed, bringing her hands up to cup Kara’s cheek. She gently rubbed her thumb along one of Kara’s cheekbones, before leaning in to give her a slow kiss.

 

            “Cute,” Kara grumbled, “that’s exactly what every girl wants to hear when they’re stood in front of their girlfriend in their underwear.”

 

            “I’m also thinking … other things,” Lena admitted, her voice barely above a whisper as she trailed one hand down Kara’s back and kissed her way down her neck and along her collarbone. She heard Kara’s breathing hitch as Lena’s kisses trailed further down.

 

            “Lena,” Kara whispered, one hand running through her hair, and grasping a handful of the dark locks. “Lena, wait.”

 

            Lena straightened up at Kara’s words, gently cupping the side of her neck as she searched Kara’s face with concern in her eyes. “Is everything okay?” Lena asked, worried that she was assuming too much.

 

            “Can we just … sit down for a second?” Kara asked, looking at the bed. Lena nodded and led her over to the bed, sitting down next to her, but leaving a considerable gap between them.

 

            “Am I-, did you not want …” Lena trailed off, her forehead furrowing in concern.

 

            “No!” Kara exclaimed quickly, before she calmed back down. “No, that’s not it at all. I mean, of course I do … but do you?”

 

            “What do you mean?” Lena asked, her concern turning to confusion as she gave Kara a quizzical look.

 

            “Lena, you told me you were a virgin,” Kara reminded her.

 

            Lena sat there in blank silence for a moment, waiting for Kara to continue. When she didn’t elaborate, Lena gave her an exasperated look. “Well yeah, I am, but that's because of my personal decision to not fuck the first person I could find. What’s that got to do with anything?” she asked.

 

            “I just-, I want you to be sure. I want it to be special for you,” Kara explained. “I don’t want you to rush into things because you think that you should.”

 

            “That’s not why I’m doing this, okay?” Lena told her. “I can feel you slipping away from me and I just-, I want you back. I want you. And it will be special because it'll be with you, and I love you, and that's why I bought this ridiculous lingerie and a thousand roses.” She gave Kara a smile as she spoke, shrugging nonchalantly.

 

            “Oh,” Kara mumbled softly. “I’m sorry. I-I’m trying to make it easier for you, for when I leave. And for me too.”

 

            “But I don’t want that,” Lena argued quietly but firmly. “I want you whilst I can have you, and when you go, I’ll figure it out. But I don’t want half of you when you’re still here, because it’s going to hurt either way, and I’d rather hurt knowing that we made the most of our time together.”

 

            “I’m sorry,” Kara apologised, trailing her fingers down the side of Lena’s face. “I thought I was helping.”

 

            “It’s okay,” Lena told her, waving away her apologies. “Just come here and kiss me.”

 

            “We don’t have to. I won’t keep my distance, I promise, so we don’t have to do this right now,” Kara assured Lena.

 

            “Please, that’s not the only reason why I want to sleep with you,” Lena laughed, laying one hand on Kara’s thigh and sliding it upwards, smirking as she raised an eyebrow at her.

 

            Kara let out a quiet laugh, and the next thing Lena knew was she was pinned down beneath the weight of Kara, with her mouth pressing hot kisses all over her. Lena’s heart was racing as Kara’s kisses moved lower and lower until she hit the waistband of Lena’s underwear. And then Kara was pressing kisses to the inside of Lena’s thighs, sending waves of heat through Lena’s body.

 

            Moving back up, Kara recaptured Lena’s lips with her own, and guided her further up the bed. Lena shoved the pillows out of the way, before bringing her hands up to take Kara’s glasses off. Kara straddled Lena and one hand searched along Lena’s back for her bra clasp, which she quickly undid. Lena slipped her bra off and threw it across the room, shivering with pleasure at Kara’s gentle touch.

 

            “Just tell me if you want me to stop at any point, or if something’s wrong,” Kara whispered, her hands warm as they explored Lena’s body.

 

\---

 

            Lena woke up the next morning to Kara pressed up against her back. She wasn’t sure what time it was as she sat up, bleary eyed as she yawned. Pulling the sheets up around her naked body, Lena looked down at Kara, eyes shut and mouth open slightly as she breathed evenly.

 

            Sitting up and glancing around the room, Lena ran her fingers through her tangled hair as she looked for her clothes. Kara stirred at Lena’s movement, and a second later her eyes opened and she smiled up at Lena.

 

            “Good morning,” Kara murmured, rubbing her eyes as she sat up. The covers pooled down around her waist and Lena bent down to press a kiss to the exposed skin of Kara’s shoulder.

 

            “Good morning,” Lena smiled back, brushing the hair out of Kara’s face so she could kiss her.

 

            “How’re you feeling?” Kara asked, looking around for her glasses. Lena plucked them off the nightstand next to her and held them out to Kara with a smile.

 

            “Mmm, good,” Lena told her, her eyes bright and her cheeks slightly flushed.

 

            “Good?” Kara echoed, her eyebrows raised slightly with concern.

 

            “Very good,” Lena whispered, smiling as she leant in to give Kara another kiss. Kara mirrored her smile as she brushed Lena’s hair away from her neck. Her smile dropped and she looked up at Lena with wide eyes and a look of panic.

 

            “Please don’t be mad,” Kara said, biting her lip as she tried not to smile.

 

            “What?” Lena asked, her pulse speeding up as her body went into alarm mode.

 

            “I may or may not have accidentally given you a hickey, right … here,” Kara laughed, poking the spot on Lena’s neck gently.

 

            “You’re kidding right?” Lena said, her eyes going wide at Kara’s words. Kara covered her mouth with her hand as she tried not to smile, throwing Lena an apologetic look. Lena’s hand clamped down on the spot that Kara poked, and she scrambled out of bed to check in the mirror on her vanity.

 

            “Fuck!” Lena swore, looking at the purple bruise on her neck. “It’s not funny, Kara!” Lena said, turning around to scowl at Kara, who had flopped down on her back and dissolved into a fit of laughter.

 

            “I’m supposed to be meeting your mom tomorrow night! What am I going to do, wear a fucking turtleneck in the middle of summer?” Lena asked, gesturing wildly with her hands.

 

            “I’m sorry,” Kara snickered, sitting up and looking at Lena, her lips pressed tightly together to stop herself from laughing. Lena frowned at her for a moment, before jumping on the bed and pinning Kara down by her wrists.

 

            “I’m going to get you back,” Lena laughed, kissing Kara’s neck as she squealed with laughter, wriggling beneath Lena. Gently biting her neck, and pressing a soft kiss there, Lena sat back up, laughing along with Kara.

 

            “I’m sorry!” Kara said again, a look of amusement on her face as she gazed at Lena.

 

            “I guess I’m wearing my hair down for the next two weeks,” Lena sighed, smiling at Kara as she shook her head. Standing up, she looked around for her underwear, throwing Kara her shirt as she searched.

 

            Behind her she heard Kara get out of bed, and a moment later her arms wrapped around Lena’s waist. “How about instead of getting dressed, we go and take a shower,” Kara whispered in her ear.

 

            Lena twisted around in Kara’s arms, wrapping her arms around her neck as she kissed her. “That sounds perfect,” Lena murmured, smiling at her. “I’ll get us some clean clothes and meet you in there.”

 

            A few minutes later she opened the door to the shower, and stepped inside, shivering slightly as the water didn’t quite reach her. Lena pressed a kiss to the back of Kara’s neck, and took the loofah out of her hands. Gently she washed Kara’s back, her hands trailing up and down it slowly. Kara turned around and Lena dropped the sponge to the floor, pushing Kara up against the wall of the shower, as the stream of water soaked her.

 

\---

 

            Twenty minutes later, Lena was wrapping a towel around herself as she smiled at Kara, shaking her head slightly. “You’re a bad influence on me,” Lena told her.

 

            “Oh yeah? How so?” Kara asked, drying herself off and slipping Lena’s bathrobe on.

 

            “That was probably the longest shower of my life. You’re going to reverse all of my efforts to single-handedly save the planet,” Lena told her, laughing as she rubbed her hair with a towel.

 

            “Actually I’m committing to the cause. See, there’s two of us, so by taking one shower, we’re actually conserving water,” Kara explained, giving Lena a wide smile as she slipped her glasses back on, blinking as everything clearly came into view.

 

            Pulling her close and giving her a quick kiss, Lena laughed. “That’s not how it works.”

 

            “I know, but you have to admit, it’s a much better way to shower,” Kara grinned, reaching up to brush a wet lock of hair out of Lena’s face.

 

            “Mm, you’ve got me there,” Lena agreed, kissing Kara quickly before getting changed. “Now, what do you want for breakfast?”

 

\---

 

            Lena sat down on one of the stools, moving a vase of flowers out of the way so she could watch Kara make breakfast. They chatted whilst Kara set about making a breakfast frittata, mixing eggs and a variety of different of vegetables. The conversation turned to the trip tomorrow, and Kara filled Lena in on the details. They would catch the train around lunchtime, and they’d be in Midvale by dinner time.

 

            “Um, so can I just ask something?” Lena asked hesitantly.

 

            “Yeah, of course, anything,” Kara smiled at Lena, setting a cup of coffee down in front of her.

 

            “Thanks,” Lena said, pulling the cup closer. “So, um, your mom … she knows about me.”

 

            “Oh, yeah, of course I’ve told her about you,” Kara told her, frowning slightly as she didn’t quite understand where Lena was going with this.

 

            “Well yes, I figured that you’d mentioned me … but like, she knows we’re a couple, like, you like girls,” Lena continued.

 

            “Mhm, she knows everything,” Kara reassured Lena, who nodded.

 

            Pulling the frittata out of the over, Kara cut it up and scooped some onto a plate for Lena. Walking around the counter, she sat down next to her with her own plate and dug in.

 

            “Are you really that worried about meeting my mom?” Kara asked, her eyebrows raised slightly in a mixture surprise and concern.

 

            “Well, yeah of course I am. I don’t have much experience with mom’s, and even if I did, it’s _your_ mom,” Lena told her, taking a bite out of her food. “I just wanted to know where we stood with our relationship though, just in case you weren’t on the same page with your mom.”

 

            “Nope, everything’s all good. She can’t wait to meet you,” Kara told her, smiling brightly. “Probably to see the person I can’t stop talking about.”

 

            Lena laughed, “can’t stop, huh?”

 

            “There’s just so much to tell,” Kara smirked.

 

            “Well that’s worrying,” Lena said, her forehead wrinkling slightly as she looked at Kara.

 

            “There’s nothing to worry about, I only have good things to tell. Besides, Eliza is probably the sweetest woman I’ve ever met. She adopted me when my parents died, raised me like her own daughter, and she never once made me feel like I wasn’t loved just as much as Alex. So I know she’ll love you anyway, that’s just who she is,” Kara reassured Lena.

 

            “She sounds amazing,” Lena agreed, giving Kara a small smile.

 

\---

 

            They finished their breakfast, and soon after Kara left.

 

            She stood in the doorway, her arms full of flowers as she smiled at Lena. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Lena murmured, taking Kara’s hand in her own and pressing a kiss to the back of it.

 

            “Mhm. Let me know if you need to know anything else for tomorrow,” Kara told her, and Lena nodded in reply. Leaning forwards, Kara kissed her slowly, her lips lingering slightly before she pulled back.

 

            “I love you,” Kara smiled, her eyes filled with adoration as she looked at Lena.

 

            Brushing the hair out of Kara’s face, Lena smiled back at her. “I love you too,” she replied, kissing her once more before Kara left.


	20. Chapter 20

            Lena’s car pulled up outside Alex’s place at eleven thirty, and telling her driver to wait, she got out and walked into the building. Outside Alex’s apartment, Lena knocked twice, listening to the muffled sounds of loud talking. A moment later Alex pulled the door open and ushered her inside.

 

            “Hi!” Kara beamed at her, bouncing over to kiss Lena on the cheek.

 

            “Hello, is everyone nearly ready?” Lena asked, looking between the three of them.

 

            “Yeah, I just need to find my keys,” Alex said, rushing around the room as she tried to find them.

 

            “On the TV stand,” Kara told her as she picked up her bag and set it down beside the door. Alex snatched up her keys and walked down the hallway to fetch her bag.

 

            “Are you sure you have everything you need?” Lena asked. “Camera? Toothbrush? Socks?”

 

            “Yes, yes and yes,” Kara smiled, coming up poking Lena in the side, making her shy away from Kara’s ticklish touch. Maggie walked back out of the hallway, her bag in tow. She set it down next to Kara’s and her eyes widened as she looked at Lena, who had just brushed her hair back out of her face, exposing her pale neck and a purple mark that makeup couldn’t quite hide.

 

            “Oh shit, no way,” Maggie laughed, a gleeful look on her face as she reached out and gently prodded the hickey. Lena quickly batted Maggie’s hand aside, rearranging her hair so it covered the mark again.

 

            “Hey, Alex! You never guess what,” Maggie called out, dissolving into a fit of laughter. “Your sweet little sister’s been giving her girlfriend hickey’s.”

 

            “Fuck off, Sawyer,” Lena cursed, rolling her eyes at Maggie. Kara stood off to the side, blushing furiously as Alex came down the hallway laughing as she carried her bag behind her.

 

            “You kids have been busy,” Alex smirked, rounding on Kara and raising her eyebrows at her.

 

            “I wonder what your mom will say,” Maggie laughed, nudging Kara gently in the ribs.

 

            “I swear to God, if you tell her mom I will personally hire a hitman to take you out,” Lena promised.

 

            “Um, are you threatening the life of a National City detective?” Maggie gasped, her eyebrows raising as she looked at Lena with an amused expression on her face.

 

            “No, I’m threatening the life of my- what did you say we were? Friends? The life of my friend who would like a trip to Italy in my private jet,” Lena said smugly.

 

            “She’s got you there, babe,” Alex grinned, watching the exchange with amusement.

 

            “Fine. You’re a businesswoman through and through, Luthor,” Maggie sighed, looking at Lena with approval.

 

            “I’m holding you to that trip to Italy though, even if I have to hijack your plane,” Maggie promised, pointing a finger at Lena in warning.

 

            “Alright, enough threats,” Kara said, rolling her eyes, “let’s go before we miss our train.”

 

            Soon, all four of them were downstairs, sliding into the back of car as Lena’s driver stowed their bags in the trunk. Pulling out into traffic, they made their way to the train station, and Kara could barely sit still out of excitement to be going to visit her mom.

 

\---

 

            They were three hours into their train ride, and the four of them were crowded into four seats facing each other with a small table wedged in between. Maggie had packed a deck of cards and they were playing poker to pass the time. Kara threw down her hand, sighing as she folded again. Lena’s face was a mask of indifferences as she looked at Alex and Maggie’s faces. Alex’s eyes narrowed slightly as she stared back intently.

 

            Lena turned over her cards and smiled triumphantly as Alex and Maggie groaned in unison, throwing their cards into the middle of the table as Lena won her seventh hand in a row.

 

            “Well I guess we finally found something you can beat us at,” Kara laughed, picking up the cards and adding them back to the deck.

 

            “In case you were wondering, I was actually one of the best poker players at boarding school,” Lena proudly told them, a smug smile on her place as she took the deck off Kara and expertly shuffled the cards.

 

            “Yeah, you coincidentally forgot to mention that didn’t you,” Maggie snorted, picking up the cards as Lena dealt them.

 

            “I thought you said you didn’t have any friends to play games with,” Kara replied, tilting her head to the side as she looked at Lena curiously. “How did you become good so good at cards?”

 

            “Roulette, my rival, well she was really into gambling, so of course I had to beat her. I guess I remember more than I thought I did,” Lena explained, matter of factly, placing the deck back down on the table.

 

            “Remind me never to bet real money against you,” Alex mumbled, frowning down at her own cards. “You’ll end up with the keys to my apartment at this rate.”

 

            Lena cracked a smile, before arranging her face into a blank mask as she flipped over the first card.

 

\---

 

            The sun was setting as the train pulled into the station, squeaking to a grinding halt. The four of them stood up filed out into the narrow aisle between the seats. Being the tallest, Kara and Alex got the bags down whilst Lena and Maggie hung back, waiting to be handed theirs.

 

            It was still warm outside, the heat from the sunny day not yet giving way to the cool evening. Lena marvelled at the quietness of the town. There was the sound of cars passing and people walking through the tiny station, but it was a different kind of sound to the hustle and bustle of the city life she was used to.

 

            They filed through the front doors of the station, and stood on the curb as they waited for a cab. Alex flagged down the first one to pass by, and they all squeezed into the yellow car. Kara gave the driver the address to her mom’s house and Lena felt a lump form in her throat from nerves.

 

            For the duration of the ride Lena sat there in silence, growing tenser by the moment. Eventually the cab turned up a narrow driveway and stopped outside the house at the end. Lena looked out the window at the white wooden panelling of the house with the wraparound porch, the bottom floor lit up with lights. The smell of salt assaulted her nose as she stepped out of the cab, and the soft sound of waves breaking on the shore drifted towards her.

 

            Kara came up beside Lena and handed her her bag, which Lena accepted with a quiet thank you. Reaching out, Kara took Lena’s free hand in her own and gave it a tight squeeze. “Are you ready?” Kara asked, buzzing with excitement as she smiled widely at Lena.

 

            “Mhm,” Lena replied, taking a deep breath to settle her nerves.

 

            “Come on then, time to meet my mom,” Kara said, setting off after Alex and Maggie, with Lena in tow.

 

            As the ascended the porch steps the sounds of Eliza’s voice and mixed with Alex and Maggie’s as she greeted them both with big hugs. Kara dropped Lena’s hand as she all but ran into Eliza’s arms, and Lena hung back shyly.

 

            “It’s so good to see you, sweetie. How are you? How was the ride?” Eliza bombarded Kara with questions, wrapping her daughter in a hug and holding her tightly.

 

            “I’m good! I’ve missed you. I wish I could come down more often,” Kara smiled widely, pulling back slightly.

 

            “I know,” Eliza sighed, fixing Kara’s collar as she looked over at Alex, who was opening the screen door so her and Maggie could take their bags inside. “I don’t get to see my little girls nearly as much as I’d like to.”

 

            Eliza’s attention slid back to Kara, before flicking behind her to rest on Lena, who was stood in the shadows at the top of the stairs. Her face split into a wide smile as she stepped around Kara.

 

            “And you must be Lena!” Eliza said, crossing the porch and pulling Lena into a warm hug. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve been trying to get Kara to bring you up here so I could meet you since she told me about you.”

 

            “Oh.” Lena blinked in surprise, returning the hug. “Um, it’s nice to meet you too, Mrs Danvers. Thank you for having me.”

 

            “Please, make yourself at home. I can’t wait to get to know you better,” Eliza smiled at her, taking Lena’s free hand and gently squeezing it. “Kara’s already told me a lot about you.”

 

            “Don’t scare her off too much,” Kara laughed, opening the screen door and waving her mom and Lena through.

 

            Just inside the door, Lena dropped her bag to the floor as she slipped her shoes off and placed them on the rack. Kara helped her out of her coat and placed it on the hook for Lena. “I’ll just take our bags up to my room,” Kara said, giving Lena a quick smile before she darted up the stairs with their bags.

 

            “Are you coming in, Luthor, or are you going to stand out in the hallway all night?” Maggie called from the living room, and Lena rolled her eyes before walking it. She sat herself down on the empty sofa and Alex and Maggie raised their eyebrows in unison, a silent question on how the introductions had gone.

 

            Lena gave them a small smile, before turning at the sound of Eliza’s voice. “Who wants coffee?”

 

            At sounds of agreement from Alex and Maggie, Eliza turned to Lena. “Lena?”

 

            “Yes please, um, black please,” Lena told her. “Would you like some help?”

 

            “No, no. You stay there, sweetheart,” Eliza protested as Lena made to stand up. She settled back down onto the pillows and gave Eliza a small smile.

 

            “Kara, coffee?” Eliza called as she turned towards the kitchen.

 

            “Yes please!” Kara replied as she came downstairs and walked into the living room. Flopping down on the sofa next to Lena, Kara got comfortable, leaning her head on Lena’s shoulder.

 

            “I’m starving,” she grumbled, and Lena let out a quiet laugh.

 

            “Don’t worry, I’ve ordered takeaway,” Eliza’s voice floated in from the kitchen.

 

            “Uh, yes! You’re the best, Eliza,” Kara called back.

 

            Eliza walked back into the room, juggling three mugs as she tried not to spill any of the coffee. Kara jumped up to relieve her of two cups, handing Lena the black coffee and Maggie the other cup.

 

            “It’s fine, I’ll get the other two,” Kara told Eliza before disappearing into the kitchen. Eliza sat down next to Lena, looking at her with interest as she sipped her coffee.

 

            “So, Lena,” Eliza started, “Kara tells me you’re a businesswoman.”

 

            “Yes, I am Mrs Danvers,” Lena replied nervously. She really didn’t want to be getting into her family history right now, she was nervous enough as it was. Even if Eliza was warm and welcoming.

 

            “Oh, please, call me Eliza.”

 

            “She’s not just a businesswoman, mom, her family owns L-Corp,” Kara interjected as she walked back in, handing Alex a cup of coffee before sitting down on the other side of Lena. “And Lena’s CEO.”

 

            “Yeah, she’s even got a private jet,” Maggie commented, raising her eyebrows as she grinned at Lena.

 

            “A private jet?” Eliza asked incredulously.

 

            “Maggie’s trying to get a free trip to Italy out of it,” Alex explained.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes good naturedly, “I’m not nearly as posh as they’re making me out to be.”

 

            “Yeah, she’s a bit of a wild one actually, you should hear some of her boarding school stories” Maggie told Eliza, giving Lena a wink as she shot Maggie a look of alarm.

 

            “Oh you poor dear, I bet you’ve had these two teasing the life out of you,” Eliza laughed, gently rubbing Lena’s back.

 

            “Don’t worry, she gives as good as she gets,” Alex snickered.

 

            “Good, don’t let them bully you honey,” Eliza laughed.

 

            “Me? Bully?” spluttered in mock offense. “Come on Eliza, you know me better than that. I’m a sweetheart.”

 

            Eliza shook her head as she gave Maggie an affectionate look. There was no doubt that she had welcomed Maggie into the family, and Lena felt a tiny flicker of hope inside. All she’d ever wanted was a family who loved her.

 

            “You’re trouble Maggie Sawyer,” Eliza corrected her with a smile. “You’d get away with murder if you flashed your dimples for long enough.”

 

            They all laughed, and Maggie flashed her dimples at them trying to act innocent. They were interrupted by a knock on the door, and Kara jumped up to answer it, knowing it was the delivery guy.

 

            “There’s money in the kitchen!” Eliza called after her.

 

            “I’ll go and give her a hand,” Lena told everyone, standing up and walking to the front door. Kara was just opening the door to reveal the delivery guy stood there with their food.

 

            “Hi! Just one second, I’ve got cash,” Kara told him, turning around and walking past Lena and to what Lena presumed was the kitchen. She found her coat on the hook and pulled her purse out, unzipping it to pull out a few notes.

 

            “Here,” she said to the guy, “keep the change.”

 

            “Thanks,” he smiled at her, handing over the food. “You have a good night.”

 

            “Thanks, you too,” she replied, giving him a small smile as her turned around and made his way back down to his car. Lena shut the door as Kara reappeared by her side holding a few notes in her hand.

 

            “Dinner’s on me,” Lena smiled, waving away the notes as Kara tried to hand them to her.

 

            “You know you don’t have to pay for everything all the time, right?” Kara sighed, taking one of the bags off Lena.

 

            “Didn’t you hear? I have a private jet,” Lena smirked, following Kara down the hallway and into the kitchen. She set the bag down on the counter and started pulling cartons out and putting them on the table. Kara pulled out a stack of plates and cutlery, walking over to the table as everyone else filed into the kitchen.

 

            Everyone sat down, talking all at once as they picked up and swapped cartons of Chinese food. Lena picked up the potstickers and handed them off to Kara with a smile, watching her blue eyes light up as they locked in on the food she’d been searching for.

 

            “I picked up some vegan things for you Maggie,” Eliza said, giving her a smile before her gaze turned to Lena. “If there’s anything you need, Lena, just put it on the shopping list. It’s on the fridge. And help yourself to anything you want. I’d be quick though, otherwise Kara will get to it first.”

 

            Lena let out a laugh and Kara shrugged, piling more food onto her plate.

 

            “Hey, mom,” Alex said, “do we have monopoly somewhere?”

 

            “I don’t know. I guess you could take a look in the attic, it might be with all your stuff from when you were kids,” Eliza told her, “why?”

 

            “We need to settle a bet,” Lena grinned at Alex, her eyes lighting up at the challenge.

 

            “Lena’s never played monopoly before,” Kara explained, “and Alex is bleeding her dry with her crime shows.”

 

            “Ah, I see,” Eliza said with a small laugh, “well, Lena, just so you know, Alex was always the monopoly champion in this household. So don’t be too upset if you’re ego takes a bruising.”

 

            “It’s fine, I think Alex’s ego might’ve been bruised on the way up here,” Lena said with a smug smile on her face. “She might be the best monopoly player, but she’s not the best poker player.”

 

            “Oh, you’re just asking to get your ass ha-“ Alex scowled at Lena

 

            “Alex! Watch your language at the dinner table, please,” Eliza chided her.

 

            Rolling her eyes, Alex mumbled an apology. “Sorry mom. Lena- you’re going to get your butt handed to you.”

 

            “So competitive!” Kara sighed dramatically, shaking her head at their antics.

 

            “Okay, don’t act like you’re not competitive. Remember when we went paintballing last time and you shot a nine-year-old in the a- butt?” Alex reminded her, raising her eyebrows slightly as she smirked.

 

            “Kara, you didn’t,” Lena laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. Kara wrinkled her nose, looking sheepish. “You’re so sweet, I can’t imagine you terrorising children.”

 

            “My mind went into army mode and I just- I took them all out in five minutes,” Kara laughed. “They weren’t very happy about me ruining their fun. It put a big target on my back when it was time for the free-for-all round.”

 

            “Now this is something I have to see,” Lena said with amusement.

 

            “Oh that’ll be fun, we should all go some time,” Maggie exclaimed, her face lit up with excitement.

 

            “No thanks,” Lena disagreed, “three expert marksmen and me? I know who will be the target.” They all laughed, but no one denied it, and Lena knew one way or another she'd end up being dragged to the nearest paintballing place.

 

\---

 

            After dinner, Lena insisted on doing the dishes, and roped in Kara to help her with them. They worked quickly, and Kara put a pot of coffee on as Lena washed the last of the cutlery before drying them and putting them away. Carrying the coffee, they went to join the other three women.

 

            They were sat in the living room, drinking coffee and watching Jeopardy, everyone competing to see who could get the most correct answers. So far Eliza had them all beat, but she stood up, taking her cup into the kitchen and dumping it in the sink.

 

            “I’m going to bed. I’m working all day tomorrow, and I might be on call in the night,” Eliza explained, walking back in and kissing Alex on the top of the head. She followed suit with Maggie and Kara, and much to Lena’s surprise, she kissed the top of Lena’s head too, before wishing bidding them all goodnight.

 

            “Make sure you lock up before you go to bed,” Eliza told them before disappearing upstairs, followed by a chorus of goodnight’s.

 

            Not too long later, Alex and Maggie disappeared upstairs too, exhausted from the long train ride and eventful night. They murmured their goodnight’s, leaving Lena and Kara sat next to each other on the sofa, watching the end of some cooking show. Kara was drifting off to sleep on Lena’s shoulder, and Lena gave her a gentle nudge.

 

            “Hey,” she whispered, “do you want to go to bed?”

 

            “Mmm,” Kara mumbled, sitting up and stifling a yawn. She stood up and took their cups into the kitchen, followed by Lena, who watched as Kara went to lock the back door, before going to check the front.

 

            Switching off the lights, Kara made her way upstairs, holding Lena’s hand as she pulled her along. Kara fumbled for the handle to her door in the dark hallway, and quietly opened it, slipping inside. She shut the door behind Lena, and flicked the light on, blinding them momentarily.

 

            “This is my room,” Kara smiled at her. Lena looked around at the plain room, decorated in pastel colours and neatly organised. There were dozens of photos lining the walls; tiny polaroids held in frames and carefully arranged.

 

            Lena walked over and investigated the photos, smiling at the sight of Kara when she was younger. The rest of them were full of whatever Kara had photographed around the house and town. “They were the first photos I took when I got my dad’s camera. Eliza framed them for me, she thought I could use the encouragement,” Kara explained, kissing Lena on the cheek as she wrapped her arms around her waist.

 

            “I’ll have to get her to show me some pictures of you when you were little,” Lena said, turning around to press a quick kiss to Kara’s lips.

 

            “No! Definitely not!” Kara argued, her eyebrows knitting together in a frown.

 

            “Oh yes, definitely. I want to hear all the stories,” Lena laughed, tickling Kara who let out a squeal of laughter, clapping her hand over her mouth to muffle the noise.

 

            “Shh, you’re going to wake your mom up,” Lena laughed quietly. “Come on, put your pyjamas on.”

 

            Following her own advice, Lena opened her bag and pulled out a pair of pyjamas, and quickly changed into them. She watched as Kara pulled back the covers on her bed and set her glasses down on the beside table, before crawling into bed.

 

            Lena stood there, hesitantly, as Kara looked at her expectantly. “Um, am I- am I sleeping in here?” Lena asked, her eyebrows rising slightly in question.

 

            “Well, yeah,” Kara replied, looking at Lena in confusion.

 

            “Oh, okay,” Lena mumbled, walking over to the bed and sliding under the covers next to Kara.

 

            “Is that okay?” Kara asked, tilting her head to the side as she stared at Lena.

 

            “Well, is it okay with your mom is more like it,” Lena replied.

 

            “What?” Kara frowned, not understanding what Lena was getting at.

 

            “Well … we’re not married and all of that,” Lena shrugged, vaguely embarrassed.

 

            “Oh my God, who knew you were such a traditionalist,” Kara teased, poking Lena in her ribs. Wriggling away from her, quietly laughing, Lena gave Kara an exasperated look.

 

            “This is brand new information. I’m surprised you had sex before marriage,” Kara said, the sparkling glint in her eyes betraying the seriousness of her tone as she teased Lena.

 

            “Shut up,” Lena laughed, gently pushing Kara’s shoulder. “I’m not religious, it’s just-, I don’t know, it’s about respect I guess. Your mom’s rules and all that.”

 

            “Well Eliza’s not strict, and she knows Alex and I respect her,” Kara told her, pulling the covers up around her shoulders as she snuggled up next to Lena.

 

            “Yeah of course she thinks _you_ respect her, but I don’t want her to think _I_ don’t respect her,” Lena explained, sighing exasperatedly as she tried to voice her thoughts.

 

            “Trust me, she wouldn’t see it like that,” Kara reassured her. “Besides, we only have three bedrooms so she would’ve made me and Alex up a bed on the couch, or made you and Maggie and me and Alex share a bed if she had a problem with it.”

 

            “Oh God, could you imagine the teasing if I had to share a bed with Maggie,” Lena laughed softly, “I think I’d suffocate her in her sleep by tomorrow night at the latest.”

 

            Kara quietly joined in with her laughter. “She likes you, you know,” Kara whispered.

 

            “I know, I like her too,” Lena admitted. “And Alex. They make me wish I had sisters, and make me thankful that I never had sisters, all at the same time.” She laughed again, smiling at Kara, who smiled widely back at her.

 

            “Seriously though, I think you’re very lucky to have your family,” Lena told her, gently brushing her fingers along the side of Kara’s face, “and I’m very lucky to have you.”

 

            Smiling, Kara leant in and kissed her slowly before pulling back. Rolling over, she turned her lamp off, plunging them both into darkness, before rolling back over to cuddle up against Lena.

 

            “Goodnight,” Kara whispered, her arm wrapping around Lena, as she rested her head on her chest, listening to the steady rhythm of Lena’s heart beating.

 

            “Sweet dreams,” Lena murmured in reply.


	21. Chapter 21

            Lena opened her eyes to the white ceiling of Kara’s bedroom. It was eerily quiet as she lay there, absentmindedly stroking Kara’s hair, still fast asleep on Lena’s chest. The only sound Lena could hear was the gentle lulling of the sea as waves broke on the shore before being pulled back out again. There was no sound coming from downstairs so Lena assumed that Eliza had already been called in to the hospital.

 

            She wasn’t sure how long she lay there, but she would have been content to stay there all morning. Eventually though, Kara’s eyes fluttered open and she sat up, stretching as she looked around the room. Picking up her glasses, she slid them on and turned her attention to Lena. Her eyes creased at the corners as she smiled at Lena.

 

            “Good morning,” Kara mumbled, leaning in to kiss her.

 

            “Did you sleep well?” Lena asked, pushing the hair away from Kara’s face so she could press a kiss beneath Kara’s earlobe, smiling to herself as she felt her shiver.

 

            “Mmm, yes I did,” Kara whispered as Lena’s kisses trailed down her neck. Her hands came up to tangle in Lena’s dark hair as she fell back against the pillows, with Lena sitting on top of her. Kara’s breathing hitched as Lena tugged up the hem of Kara’s shirt, placing a kiss on her hip.

 

            “So, were you planning on us leaving bed today or not?” Kara asked, a breathless laugh escaping her. Lena pulled back and looked up at Kara, her eyes narrowing slightly as she deliberated over Kara’s question.

 

            “I mean, we could,” Lena smiled, her eyes sparkling as she raised her eyebrows suggestively at Kara.

 

            “And as lovely as that sounds, my insufferable sister and her girlfriend will probably come barging in and drag us out of bed by our ankles,” Kara sighed, smiling slightly at the thought. They could hear the low sounds of Alex and Maggie talking down the hall.

 

            Lena sat up and sighed, “as tempting as it sounds to see that play out, I’d prefer not to give tweedledum and tweedledee the satisfaction.”

 

            Kara let out a snort of laughter, “I didn’t pick you for an Alice in Wonderland fan.”

 

            “What?” Lena said, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

 

            “Tweedledum and tweedledee. From Alice in Wonderland?” Kara said, looking at Lena expectantly.

 

            “Oh. It’s from a poem. Byrom?” Lena frowned.

 

            “Are you kidding me?” Kara laughed as she got out of bed. “You’ve read Byrom but not Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland? It’s a classic! Have you watched the movie at least?”

 

            Lena rolled out of bed and started making it behind her. “No, I’ve never had much time for fairytale’s, you know this.”

 

            “I know, but it’s Alice in Wonderland! It’s iconic. Have you read any of the original children’s stories?” Kara asked, looking at Lena with concern, as if she was seriously worried about the fact that Lena hadn’t.

 

            “No,” Lena scoffed, arranging the pillows neatly on the bed.

 

            “Oh God. I can’t believe I’m hearing this right now,” Kara said, shaking her head. “I’ll add it to the list.”

 

            “You and that bloody list,” Lena sighed, rolling her eyes as she walked around the bed and placed a slow, lingering kiss on Kara’s lips.

 

             “Where’s your bathroom?” Lena asked, turning around and pulling her toiletries and some clothes out of her bag. Kara silently opened the door and walked down the hallway, before opening another door and gesturing for Lena to walk in.

 

            She stepped to the side, and went to walk past Lena, who raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Are you not joining me?” she asked Kara with a smile.

 

            “I’d love to, but your shower is bigger than our entire bathroom, and I don’t think two people would comfortably fit in ours,” Kara explained with a small smile.

 

            “I’m up for the challenge,” Lena casually shrugged.

 

            With a laugh, Kara stepped forward and kissed Lena before turning around and heading towards the stairs. “I’ll get breakfast started.”

 

            Lena smiled and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Stripping off her clothes, she stepped under the stream of hot water. She was in the middle of scrubbing herself with some lavender body wash when she heard the door open. Two seconds later the shower curtain was ripped back and Lena stood face to face with Alex.

 

            “What the fuck, Alex,” Lena yelled, turning her back on her.

 

            “Oh, sorry. I thought Kara would be in here with you,” Alex said. “Hey, you didn’t happen to pack a pair of hair straighteners by any chance, did you?”

 

            “There’s one in my bag, now close the fucking curtain!” Lena yelled at her. Laughing, Alex dropped the curtain back into place and shouted a thanks over her shoulder as she walked out of the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

 

            After washing the soap off, Lena shut the water off and stepped out, wrapping herself in a towel.

 

\---

 

            Five minutes later, Lena trudged downstairs, dressed in a pair of jeans and a plain white shirt. She rolled the cuffs up as she walked into the kitchen, and groaned internally as she looked at the three girls standing around, looking at her with amusement. Maggie was grinning as if she’d just heard the best news of her life.

 

            Ignoring them, Lena walked towards the pot of coffee, taking the clean mug that Kara pulled out of a cupboard for her. “So,” Kara started, and Lena could hear the barely controlled laughter in her voice, “how was your shower.”

 

            Lena grumbled something intelligible as she picked up the coffee pot and started pouring some into the cup.

 

            “Alex said you have a nice ass,” Maggie laughed, and Lena flipped her off without turning around. Her cheeks turned red with embarrassment at their teasing, and she rolled her eyes as she turned around, before shooting them all a dark look at their laughter.

 

            “You’re awfully cheerful for someone whose girlfriend just walked in on another woman showering, hm?” Lena retorted, smiling as Maggie started laughing and Alex choked on the mouthful of coffee she’d just sipped.

 

            “I’m going to hide the knives for the next two weeks,” Kara told everyone. “You two in a confined space is bound to lead to a stabbing by the end of the trip.”

 

            “Aw, come on,” Maggie tutted, “we all know I wouldn’t need a knife to kill her if I was determined.” Lena laughed, shaking her head as she sat down at the table.

 

            “Scrambled or fried?” Kara called from the kitchen as she picked up an egg.

 

            “Fried please,” Lena replied, reaching for the discarded newspaper on the table.

 

            “I’ll take scrambled,” Alex said, and Maggie voice her agreement.

 

            “So, what’re we doing today?” Maggies asked as she walked into the kitchen to help Kara make breakfast for them all.

 

            “Hmm, we can go into town. Show Lena around, get some lunch at the diner,” Alex suggested.

 

            “Sounds good,” Lena agreed.

 

            “Alright, it’s settled then,” Kara said, sliding an egg out of the frying pan and onto the toast Maggie finished buttering. She cracked another egg as Maggie carried the plate over to the table and placed it in front of Lena.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena smiled at her sweetly and Maggie rolled her eyes.

 

\---

 

            The four of them were strolling down the main street of the town, and Lena listened as Kara and Alex pointed out important buildings or commented on people that Lena didn’t know about.

 

            They stopped by the bookshop just after twelve, and Lena picked up a few novels, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland amongst them. After paying, they walked outside and Kara started complaining about being hungry again.

 

            “Alright, lunchtime,” Alex announced, setting off down the street with Maggie in tow.

 

            They settled into a booth by the window and a waitress came over with some menus. “Coffee?” she asked, her pen poised over a notepad.

 

            “Please,” Lena nodded.

 

            “I’ll take a strawberry milkshake please,” Kara her with a big smile.

 

            “Coffee, please,” Alex told her.

 

            “Make that another, please,” Maggie added.

 

            The waitress nodded, walking away and coming back a second let with a pot of coffee and some cups. She poured some into the three cups and informed Kara that her milkshake would be along shortly. After a chorus of thanks, she left them to study the menus for a moment.

 

            “You should try the pie, it’s really good,” Kara told Lena, pointing to the dessert section.

 

            “Are you not going to eat real food first?” Lena asked.

 

            “Pie _is_ a real food,” Kara insisted.

 

            With a laugh, Alex gave Lena a knowing look. “It’s best not to argue with her, I’ve been trying to get her to cut back on sugar since we were kids.”

 

            “This might be my last piece of pie before I leave,” Kara said defensively.

 

            Lena let out a snort of laughter, “yeah right. You’ll probably drag us here every day.”

 

            “Well I might,” Kara said indignantly.

 

            Lena gave her a wry smile as she picked up her coffee and took a sip as she read her own menu. “How’re the salads here?” she asked.

 

            Alex sighed loudly, shaking her head in disappointment. “No. You are not getting a salad from a _diner_!” she told Lena. “It will most likely be soggy lettuce and it’s not going to be healthy anyway. Just get a burger or a dessert. You can’t go wrong with that.”

 

            “Fuck me, you’re all so serious about your food,” Lena muttered, “fine, how’re the cheeseburger’s here?”

 

            “Better than the salad,” Kara told her, the corners of her lips turning up slightly as she tried not to smile.

 

\---

 

            After finishing their food, they sat there talking over fresh cups of coffee until they were ready to leave. The waitress walked over and set the bill down on the table and Lena pulled it towards her as she dug out some cash.

 

            “Hey, do you sell full pies here?” she asked the waitress.

 

            “Mhm, any of the ones on the menu,” she replied as she waited for Lena to hand the money over.

 

            “Which one do you guys want?” Lena asked, looking around the table.

 

            “Why are we getting pie?” Kara asked, frowning slightly.

 

            “Because not all of us had dessert for lunch, and your mom might like some. Now pick, quickly,” Lena explained, handing another note over to the waitress to cover the cost.

 

            “Apple?” Kara asked Alex and Maggie who nodded in agreement.

 

            Looking up at the waitress, Lena gave her a slight smile. “Apple pie please. And no change.”

 

            The girl looked down at the money in her hand and looked back up at Lena, an uncertain but hopeful expression on her face. “Are you sure? There’s way too much.”

 

            “Quite sure,” Lena replied, putting her purse back in her bag.

 

            “Thank you,” the girl widely smiled at her before going to box up the pie.

 

            Outside the diner, Kara entwined her fingers with Lena’s and they set off down the street. Alex and Maggie followed behind at a leisurely pace.

 

            “Well this is the main part of town,” Kara said, gesturing around her. “The rest of it’s mostly just neighbourhoods.”

 

            “I like it, I’ve never been to a small town before,” Lena smiled at Kara. “Um, were- were you born here?”

 

            “No, I was born in Smallville actually. Now _that’s_ a small town, there’s only a couple of thousand people there. No orphanage though, so I came here, to the closest one. That was after I was rushed to the hospital here though, they have a good children’s ward. Eliza took my case, and that’s the start of how I ended up a Danvers,” Kara explained, smiling down at Lena.

 

            “Y-you never told me that before,” Lena stammered, her eyes wide with concern as she looked at Kara.

 

            “I guess it never came up,” Kara shrugged, fiddling with her glasses as she looked down. “It was good, in a way, moving here; there’s nothing to remind me of my parents. It made things easier.”

 

            “Do you go back often? To Smallville?” Lena asked.

 

            “Maybe once or twice a year. Eliza used to take me every month at the beginning; she said it was important for me to grieve,” Kara explained. “And then I got older, and I had my new sister and my new mom and dad, and I didn’t need to go as often. And now I’m in the army and I don’t have the time, so yeah, maybe once a year. I still miss them though.”

 

            Lena squeezed Kara’s hand tightly. “I’m sorry.”

 

            “It’s fine,” Kara said dismissively. “Sometimes I forget, you know. It was over half of my life ago, and for the half I spent with them, I was too young to remember a lot of things. So, yeah, sometimes I forget that Eliza’s not my real mom, and I grieved for Jeremiah as much as I did for my real dad. I used to feel guilty when I forgot about them, until the therapist Eliza sent me to told me it was natural for me to move on with my life. And here I am.” She gave Lena a wry smile as she finished talking.

 

            “And here you are,” Lena smiled sadly at her, wishing that Kara hadn’t had to go through this. Not for the first time, Lena was grateful she couldn’t remember her birth parents. She suspected it would be extremely hard for her if she could, when she took into consideration the kind of mother Lillian was.

 

            As if reading her mind, Kara’s next words were about Lillian. “I know you don’t like talking about your family … but what was your childhood actually like?” Kara asked hesitantly. “If- if it’s too hard, you don’t have to tell me.”

 

            “I love you Kara, I want to share things with you,” Lena told her, staring straight ahead as she collected her thoughts. “Hmm, well, I told you I was four when I was adopted. Lex was very much the big brother everyone dreams of having. He was kind, funny, very patient with his new little sister. My father, he was always at work, but when he was home I was his darling little girl, and he showered me with love and, well, he spoilt me. He was a cruel man though. I didn’t see it until I was older, but he was. He would hit Lex, every time he did something wrong, and there was nothing I could do to help. But my mother loved her prodigal son. If Lionel spoilt me, she spoilt Lex. He was everything to her, in a way that I never was. Of course, she gave me everything I asked, and everything I could dream of. But she never truly held me in the same regard as she did Lex. She raised me to be a Luthor, and I went along with it all until I got to my teenage years … and then I kind of went through a rebellious phase.”

 

            Kara laughed, “a rebellious phase?”

 

            “Mhm. Multiple piercings, black slightly gothy clothes, I even dyed my hair purple once. She didn’t like that, and I think that part of why we’re so distant now was because I started pushing her away then. We argued all the time, and I stopped going along with what she wanted,” Lena explained.

 

            “When Lex completely went of the rails and blew himself up, she tried to fix things. After I finished college, she stepped down as CEO, and she used her sway with the board to get them to nominate me as the next one. She tried to give me the love she hadn’t when I was little, but by then I was already too closed off. I’d built my walls, and I didn’t trust her enough to let her in, or anyone for that matter.”

 

            Kara reached up to brush a strand of hair out of Lena’s face, her fingers lingering on her face for a second longer. Lena looked up at Kara and smiled warmly at her.

 

            “Until you, of course,” Lena laughed, before her face turned serious again. “I mean I can’t blame her for everything though. I’ve been a major bitch to her, and she’s been good to me with some things. I had the best of everything; she paid for college; she accepted me when I came out. We’re just too different, or maybe we’re too alike and that’s why we clash. Either way, it’s been six years since I had any sort of relationship with her.”

 

            “You’re not obligated to love her just because she adopted you and paid for things,” Kara murmured, squeezing Lena’s hand.

 

            “I know, but there’s a part of me that does love her because she _is_ my mom. We might argue and push each other away, and I know that I’ll never be the perfect daughter and she knows that she’ll never be the perfect mother. But we only have each other now,” Lena shrugged. “Doesn’t change anything though.”

 

            “Well, just so you know, you have me. And you have Alex, and Maggie, and my mom,” Kara smiled, “you don’t just have your mom.”

 

            “Thank you,” Lena murmured, raising Kara’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. Kara pulled Lena closer and placed a kiss to the side of her head.

 

\---

 

            They spent the rest of the afternoon sat on the back porch drinking lemonade and watching the sea. Lena couldn’t remember feeling so relaxed as she sat on the deck, hidden in the shade as she read Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. When Kara had noticed what she was reading she had smiled widely at Lena, an unspoken conversation passing between them. Perhaps Lena would change her mind about fairytale’s and children’s stories.

 

            When Eliza got home later that evening, the four of them were in the kitchen cooking dinner. She walked into the kitchen and greeted the four girls with a wide smile, before slipping upstairs for a shower. Not too long later, the five of them were crowded around the table eating and talking.

 

            “Any good cases today, mom?” Alex asked, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

 

            “Nothing too exciting, just an appendectomy,” Eliza replied.

 

            “Oh, so you’re a general surgeon?” Lena asked with interest.

 

            Eliza nodded, and Kara laughed, her eyes filling with pride as she looked at her mom. “She’s being modest; she’s the chief of general surgery actually,” Kara told Lena.

 

            “Oh, wow, that’s very impressive,” Lena said, genuinely impressed. Of course, Kara had told her that Eliza was a doctor, but she hadn’t known that she was that accomplished.

 

            “Not as impressive as CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company at twenty-four,” Eliza praised her.

 

            Lena shrugged, slightly embarrassed. “It’s not really much of an accomplishment when you basically had the keys to your family’s company handed to you.”

 

            “Don’t sell yourself short,” Kara chided Lena, briefly resting her hand on Lena’s arm. “You’re very good at your job, and you work harder than anyone else there.”

 

            “Tell me about it. I’m surprised Kara managed to drag you away from the office for two whole weeks. When was the last time that happened?” Alex laughed.

 

            Lena frowned slightly as she contemplated her answer. “Hm, never I guess. I graduated college and went straight into work. I guess I could say my business trip to London last year, but it was strictly business so it wasn't much of a holiday,” Lena laughed, shrugging as she took another bite of her food.

 

            “London, huh?” Maggie asked, her eyes narrowing slightly as she stared at Lena.

 

            Sighing, Lena raised her eyebrows at Maggie. “Yes, I went in my private jet. Yes, I promise you can take it to Italy,” Lena smiled, shaking her head.

 

            “So when you say I can take it …” Maggie started, trailing off as her eyes glinted with whatever idea she had.

 

            “No! You are not flying my plane yourself,” Lena said, “they’d end up scooping the pieces out of the ocean. I have a pilot.”

 

            “But say I got my pilot's license,” Maggie protested, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

 

            “No!” Lena said adamantly as everyone laughed. With a dramatic sigh, Maggie gave up her cause, turning her attention back to her dinner.

 

            “Oo, I forgot to tell you,” Alex exclaimed excitedly, “I found monopoly up in the attic!” Lena groaned, already regretting the inevitable game that was going to take place shortly.

 

            “I better not have to break up any fights,” Eliza warned them.

 

            “Hey, don’t look at me,” Maggie said defensively, holding up her hands. “I wasn’t involved last time we had a games night.”

 

            “Winn came down for thanksgiving and we played charades. Things, um … got heated. Alex said I was cheating,” Kara explained, laughing at the memory.

 

            “That’s because you were!” Alex exclaimed.

 

            Kara looked at her with mock offence, her mouth open in shock as if she couldn’t believe Alex would accuse her of such a thing. “Excuse me, but how do you cheat at charades?” Kara asked, raising her eyebrows as she waited for Alex to respond.

 

            “You were talking!” Alex told her, “the whole point in charades is that you don’t talk! It’s literally the only rule.”

 

            Kara deliberated her words for a second, narrowing her eyes as she stared blankly at something across the room. With a nod she looked at Alex, shrugging slightly. “I mean, fair enough. But it’s hard without talking,” Kara complained, pouting at Alex.

 

            “That’s literally the entire point of the fu-, of the game,” Alex yelled at her, correcting herself in the presence of her mom.

 

            Sighing, Eliza stood up from the table, picking up her empty plate. “That’s enough you two. I swear, you would fight over fresh air if you could,” Eliza smiled at the two of them as she shook her head in resignation.

 

            “I haven’t seen you two fight before, now I’m intrigued,” Lena said, stacking everyone’s empty plates and taking them to the kitchen. She scraped the plates clean and picked up the sponge.

 

            “Oh, you don’t have to do the dishes, honey. I’ve got this,” Eliza smiled at her.

 

            “Really, I can do them. You’ve been at work all day,” Lena insisted.

 

            Kara walked over to help, trading places with Eliza, who walked back over to the table and sat down with Alex and Maggie.

 

            “So, do you have any siblings to argue with, Lena?” Eliza called over, continuing the conversation from before. Lena’s shoulders tensed up and her hands froze in the middle of washing the plate she was holding.

 

            “Um, mom-,” Kara started, before Lena cut her off with her own reply.

 

            “I did. I had a brother, but we didn’t really argue much. And never about board games,” Lena replied, shrugging indifferently as she smiled at Kara and Alex’s banter.

 

            “Oh … oh, I’m sorry honey, I forgot. I didn’t mean to pry,” Eliza apologised.

 

            “It’s fine, really,” Lena waved away Eliza’s apology. She wasn’t all that bothered about talking about Lex, the thing that always worried her was that people would judge her for his mistakes. And they had. Sometimes it hurt to think about her brother, but she couldn’t reconcile the eleven-year-old boy who would play chess with her, and the cold killer who blew up a bunch of people.

 

            Kara walked over to the fridge and pulled out rummaged around in it. “Who wants pie?” she asked, trying to diffuse the awkwardness of the moment.

 

            “Sure, pie sounds good,” Lena smiled at her. Everyone else murmured their agreement, and Kara set about dividing it up into slices as Lena washed the rest of the dishes and left them to dry on the draining board.

 

\---

 

            There was a shout of anger, followed by a round of laughter as the five of the huddled around the board game spread out before them.

 

            “You wouldn’t sell me that and I offered you more!” Alex argued with Kara, crossing her arms over her chest as she sulked. Kara smiled widely back at her as she handed one of the cards over to Lena.

 

            “Sorry! I have an invested interest in keeping my girlfriend happy,” Kara explained, giving Alex and apologetic shrug.

 

            “You might want to reconsider that statement or you might find that the sister you just snubbed has turned you out onto the streets,” Alex threatened, rolling the dice for her turn.

 

            “So I might need a place to crash if the game goes south,” Kara smiled at Lena, who laughed as she shook her head.

 

            “I didn’t realise this was such a serious game. I might have to make some space in my closet,” Lena smiled, glancing at Alex who was studying the board intensely.

 

            “My girls,” Eliza sighed, “what am I going to do with you all? Whoever said boys were easier obviously knew what they were talking about.” Lena blinked in surprise as she realised that Eliza was addressing all four of them as they bickered over the game, not just Kara and Alex. A feeling of gratitude welled up inside her at Eliza's quick acceptance of Lena into her family, and she smiled to herself.

 

            “Oh come on mom, we all know you’re competitive at heart. You can’t make it through med school and be chief of general surgery without have a competitive streak. Where else did Kara and I get it from?” Alex asked, raising her eyebrows at her mom as she accepted the money off her for passing go.

 

            A few rounds later and Lena had generously let Alex buy a few of her cards, feeling bad for her. She knew she would regret it when Alex beat her, but after the thrashing at poker Lena had given her, she thought that Alex deserved to win at this.

 

            Surprisingly, at the end of the night it was Eliza who came out ahead, much to everyone’s surprise. Alex and Lena stared at each other with surprise.

 

            “So where does that leave us?” Lena asked.

 

            “Well I still beat you, so technically I won out of the two of us,” Alex said smugly as Lena rolled her eyes.

 

            “Okay, fine,” Lena grumbled as she unwillingly agreed, “maybe we should play a two-player game just to make sure though. How are you at chess?”

 

            “Uh, no,” Alex spluttered. “Miss I go to the opera and took ballroom lessons and was probably captain of the chess team at school, I don’t think I’ll take you up on that challenge.”

 

            “Did you tell her all of this?” Lena asked Kara as she rounded on her.

 

            “No way, you actually are a trust fund kid,” Maggie laughed, packing away the board game as she listened to the argument.

 

            “I didn’t tell her anything!” Kara said defensively. “Well I might’ve told her about the chess team, but not the rest.”

 

            “In my defence, ballroom dancing was a requirement at boarding school, so I didn’t have a choice with that one,” Lena explained. Kara laughed, taking Lena by the hand and pulling her to the open space in the kitchen. She arranged their hands into the classic starting pose for dancing, assuming the men’s place.

 

            “Come on then, show me some moves,” Kara commanded Lena, giving her a wide smile. Looking vaguely embarrassed, Lena sighed.

 

            “No thank you,” she laughed, trying to extract herself from Kara’s grip.

 

            Pouting, Kara looked at Lena with a hopeful expression. “Come on, just for a second, please,” Kara begged. Lena gave in with minimal complaining, rolling her eyes as she took a step backwards, pulling Kara with her.

 

            The sound of a camera going off caught her attention, and she looked across the room where Alex, Maggie and Eliza were watching them with amused expressions. Alex was lowering Kara’s polaroid camera, which she’d snatched up off the table, and a small square was printing out.

 

            “Oh come on, no photos,” Lena protested, spinning Kara around so that her back was to the camera.

 

            “You guys look adorable,” Maggie teased them, flashing them her dimples. Lena rolled her eyes, and dipped Kara down gently, smiling as she squealed with laughter. Bringing her back up, Lena brought them back to their starting pose and dropped their hands.

 

            “You’re actually a good dancer,” Kara told her with surprise, a smile tugging at her lips.

 

            “Well I could never be anything less than the best, even in ballroom dancing lessons, so yeah,” Lena said, rolling her eyes as she spoke. “Too bad I never dance.”

 

            “We should go out dancing sometime!” Kara said excitedly, her face lighting up at the prospect.

 

            “Sure,” Lena told her, willing to agree to anything that made Kara’s eyes light up and bring that big smile to her face. Admittedly, everything made her smile though, so Lena didn’t have to try very hard to make her happy. She would do anything that made her happy though.

 

\---

 

            Eliza got paged soon after that, and they all went to bed not long after she rushed off to the hospital.

 

            Kara whispered goodnight, giving Lena a kiss before cuddling up next to her. Lena mumbled her own goodnight as she stroked Kara’s hair absentmindedly.

 

            “What is it?” Kara asked, shifting slightly so that she was looking up at the dim outline of Lena.

 

            “Hm?” Lena replied, Kara’s question pulling her out of her thoughts.

 

            Kara laughed quietly, “you’re thinking so hard that _I_ can’t sleep. What is it?”

 

            “Sorry,” Lena apologised, before pausing. The silence stretched out before them and Kara patiently waited for Lena to tell her what was on her mind.

 

            “Um, well I was just thinking,” Lena began, saying each word slowly as if she was unsure of what was going to come out next.

 

            “You usually are,” Kara interrupted, a smile in her tone as she spoke.

 

            Lena let out a quiet laugh, “my biggest weakness.”

 

            Her laughter died off into silence and Kara listened to Lena’s heart rate increase. She drew in a shaky breath before she started talking, blurting it out in a barely distinguishable sentence.

 

            “So you know how you said that you might need a place to stay if Alex kicked you out? I know it was a joke, but I was thinking that maybe when you get back that you could, like, leave some stuff at my place, you know, have a key and all that. Maybe even stay over more, or like all the time.”

 

            “Oh,” Kara exclaimed softly, her voice full of surprise. “Are you asking me to move in?”

 

            Lena paused for a second before finding her voice. “I mean … yeah, I guess I kind of am. If you want to. Like, it doesn’t have to be all time if you don’t want to, but you can like … leave a toothbrush, or-“

 

            Kara cut her off with a kiss, pressing her lips against Lena’s in three quick kisses. “Yes, I’ll leave a toothbrush and some of my things and I’ll take a key,” Kara laughed in between kisses. “I’ll bring everything I own.”

 

            “Really?” Lena said with surprise, brushing Kara’s hair back as it fell into her face.

 

            “Of course. I-I won’t hold you to it though. We can talk about it when I get back to see if things have, you know, changed,” Kara whispered, settling back down next to Lena.

 

            “I hope not,” Lena murmured into Kara’s hair as she placed a kiss on the top of her head.

 

            “Me too,” Kara replied. “It’ll actually make things easier if we move in together, for everyone. I know Alex and Maggie have been practically living together by alternating between apartments, but I know they won’t actually move into one place because Alex is afraid to leave me without a home. So it’s a win-win, especially if I get to wake up next to you every morning.”

 

            “You’ll always have a home with me,” Lena told her, “and I can’t argue with your logic. That sounds like the most perfect thing in the world; waking up next to you every morning.”

 

            “We’ll talk about it more later,” Kara whispered, and Lena smiled as she closed her eyes and settled down, taking comfort in the warmth of Kara pressed up next to her.

 

            “I love you,” Lena whispered, smiling to herself.

 

            “I love you too,” Kara replied, sleepily.

 

            As sleep took them, their breathing slowed, leaving them wrapped up in each other as they slept the night away. Even if they didn’t wake up next to each other every morning, they would wake up next to each other tomorrow, and that was enough for now.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know everyone's anxiously awaiting the inevitable angst and heartbreak or whatever, but I'm now realising that this fic is going to be way longer than I first thought, because Kara hasn't even been deployed yet. So it's going to be a while before I get to the angst, but please bear with me and expect the angst in like chapter 50 lmao.

            They were nine days into their stay with Eliza, and it was still dark outside, the sun only a faint glimmer on the horizon as Lena sat on the steps of the back porch. She had woken up early after a night of tossing and turning, and leaving Kara to sleep, had grabbed a blanket and padded downstairs barefoot.

 

            With a cup of coffee and the blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders, Lena watched the sea gently ebb and flow. She found the rhythm of it soothing; the only other sound except for the soft tinkling of wind chimes above the back door. Her breath misted before her, and Lena was expecting a cold day.

 

            That was how Eliza found her, when she came home from a thirty-hour shift at the hospital, a dark silhouette outlined against the steadily lightening sky. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she opened the screen door and walked across the deck to sit down next to Lena.

 

            “Are you okay sweetie?” Eliza asked, tilting her head to the side as she looked down at the brunette.

 

            “I’m fine. Trouble sleeping is all,” Lena explained, unwrapping the blanket to share it with Eliza. “How was work?”

 

            “Long,” Eliza sighed, sipping her coffee as she looked out at the horizon. The silence stretched out before them, and Lena didn’t know how to fill it. This was the first time she’d truly been alone with Eliza. They’d talked a lot over the past week, but they hadn’t had a conversation alone, and Lena was tense as she waited for Eliza to say something.

 

            “Lena, I only know as much as Kara’s told me, but I know there’re some issues with your mom. I don’t want to pry, but whatever’s bothering you, you can tell me,” Eliza said, looking at Lena with concern.

 

            Her shoulders tensed up at Eliza’s words and Lena ducked her head down, turning to the side slightly to hide her face. It wasn’t until she sniffed that Eliza realised she was crying. “Oh honey, it’s okay,” Eliza whispered, setting her coffee cup down before drawing Lena into her arms.

 

            If anything, that made Lena cry harder. She sat there sobbing as Eliza gently rubbed her back, holding Lena tightly as she murmured soothing sounds. Lena’s tears had soaked through the front of Eliza’s shirt, but she paid it no mind as she held the girl close.

 

            “I don’t want her to go,” Lena choked out, her head resting on Eliza’s shoulder. She sounded so young, and so scared, and for the first time, Eliza realised just how young she really was. Lena was so mature for her age, it was easy to forget that she was barely an adult, that she was younger than Kara, and not the other way around.

 

            “I know, darling,” Eliza whispered, her own eyes stinging with tears. She could understand that very well; every time Kara came home safely it was like she could breathe easily again, until the next deployment, where Eliza would wait with bated breath.

 

            Lena’s sobs had subsided, but the tears still streamed down her cheeks and her breathing hitched as she tried to calm herself down. Closing her eyes, she focused on breathing in and out, taking comfort in Eliza’s motherly embrace as she steadied herself.

 

            “I’m scared,” Lena whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of waves breaking a few feet away. “I-I don’t want to be alone.”

 

            Eliza gently lifted Lena’s head off her shoulder and cupped her cheeks. She ducked her head down, trying to meet Lena’s gaze. She looked up tearfully, and Eliza reached up to brush her tears away, before gently tucking Lena’s hair behind her ears.

 

            “You won’t ever be alone,” Eliza promised her. “I know it’s hard, believe me, I do. And it never gets easier, but you do get used to it. You just have to hold onto the hope that she’ll come back to you.”

 

            Lena nodded, wiping at her eyes with the cuff of her shirt. “I know, it just hurts. I miss her so much and she hasn’t even gone yet. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her,” Lena said, her voice cracking as more tears spilled down her cheeks, replacing the ones she’d just wiped away.

 

            “You’ll throw yourself into your work, like you did before. And at first, you’ll cry yourself to sleep every night, and you’ll be filled with worry. The worry won’t ever go away, but when you speak to her, you’ll forget about it for a moment because you know she’s safe. And there will be times when you won’t hear from her for a week, and that’ll be the worst part, but you have to tell yourself that no news is good news,” Eliza rambled.

 

            Lena was quiet as she listened to the woman’s advice, occasionally hiccupping with a silent sob. She felt less alone as she sat there listening to the soft sound of Eliza’s voice as she stroked Lena’s hair and reassured her that everything would be fine.

 

            They stayed like that for a while after Lena had stopped crying, both silent as they watched the sunrise and listened to the ocean and the wind chimes tinkling in the slight breeze.

 

            “I’m happy she found you, you know,” Eliza said, breaking the silence. Lena lifted her head off Eliza’s shoulder, look up at her in surprise as she waited for her to elaborate.

 

            “I’ve always worried about her. She lost her parents at a young age, and I’ve tried to fill that gap for her. I love her with all my heart, of course,” Eliza told Lena.

 

            “She loves you too, so much,” Lena replied, and Eliza gave her a smile full of happiness.

 

            “She’s always been very open and loving,” Eliza agreed. “That’s why I’m happy she has you. I worried that with her joining the army so young, she wouldn’t have time to find someone to love her back, but I can see that I was worried for nothing.”

 

            Lena blushed as she looked down shyly. She wasn’t good at talking about her feelings at the best of times, let alone with her girlfriend’s mom, after just having an emotional breakdown on her.

 

            “I can see it’s hard for you, to let someone in and to let them love you. But I guess even you’re not immune to Kara’s charm,” Eliza laughed softly, rubbing Lena’s arm affectionately. “And she’s definitely not immune to yours. I remember when she told me about you, before you were dating. It was like listening to Alex talk about Maggie all over again. It’s nice to be able to understand what she what she was talking about.”

 

            “Especially those eyes!” Eliza laughed. “She wouldn’t stop talking about those green eyes of yours. God, I would believe that she fell in love with you the moment she looked into them, by the sounds of things.”

 

            Lena laughed, shaking her head as she blushed. A part of her couldn’t help but think about how her own eyes paled in comparison to Kara’s; so beautiful and blue, and full of laughter and wonder at the simplest of things.

 

            “Come on,” Eliza said, kissing Lena on the top of her head and stroking her hair once, before standing up. “Time for breakfast.”

 

            Lena picked up her coffee cup and shrugged the blanket off before following Eliza inside. The sun had fully risen by now, and Lena suspected that Kara would be up any minute.

 

            “I’m going to go and take a shower, my face is probably a mess,” Lena laughed, slightly embarrassed now that she had calmed down.

 

            “Okay sweetie,” Eliza replied, giving her a sympathetic smile. She walked over to to Lena and held her at arms length for a moment, before giving her a hug. “It’ll all work out.”

 

            A lump rose in Lena’s throat so she settled for a nod and a weak smile, before heading upstairs to shower. The hot water made her feel better, and she stayed in there longer than she had originally planned, scrubbing her tearstained face clean.

 

            Slipping back into Kara’s room, Lena quietly pulled out a warm jumper and a pair of jeans. A groan from Kara made her turn around, and she smiled as Kara sat up, blinking away her sleep.

 

            “Morning,” Kara yawned, standing up and stretching her arms out before her. “You’re up early.”

 

            “I couldn’t sleep,” Lena told her, crossing the room to give her a tender kiss. “Someone was snoring.”

 

            “Lena Luthor, that is a lie and you know it!” Kara huffed, jamming her glasses on her face as she pouted. “I do _not_ snore!”

 

            “That’s odd. Maybe Alex snuck in in the middle of the night to escape her insufferable girlfriend,” Lena laughed, pulling Kara closer and touching their foreheads together. She gently stroked the side of Kara’s face, before tilting her head to the side to give her a brief kiss.

 

            “Your mom’s making breakfast,” Lena told Kara, as she ran a brush through her wet hair.

 

            “Alright, I’ll just have a quick shower,” Kara said, stifling another yawn. “Do you want to go wake my snoring sister and her insufferable girlfriend up?”

 

            “That depends; am I going to get my head ripped off?” Lena asked, cocking one eyebrow at Kara, who gave Lena a grin.

 

            “I’m pretty sure they both sleep with guns under their pillows, so I’d be careful,” Kara laughed, walking out into the hallway with Lena following. Rolling her eyes, Lena walked over to the door to Alex’s room and knocked, hearing a grumbled answer in response.

 

            “Your mom’s making breakfast,” Lena called, before turning around and walking back downstairs, leaving them to make their own way down.

 

\---

 

            Lena was helping Eliza make breakfast when everyone else made it downstairs. Grabbing three cups, she poured them all some coffee as they sat down at the table.

 

            “It’s cold today,” Maggie complained, rubbing her arms to warm herself up.

 

            “Nice ducks,” Lena laughed, smirking at the the duck pattern on Maggie’s pyjamas. She walked back into the kitchen, pulling out plates and and cutlery. “I almost mistook you for a twelve-year-old.”

 

            She looked over her shoulder expectantly, and laughed at the sight of Maggie flipping her off. Silently, Lena returned the favour as Alex and Kara laughed into their cups of coffee.

 

            “Now, I don’t have eyes in the back of my head, but you two had better be behaving yourselves,” Eliza warned them, and Lena guiltily dropped her hand, flashing a wide-eyed look at Eliza’s back.

 

            “Ooo, you’re in trouble,” Kara teased her, coming over to tickle Lena, before picking up the cutlery and setting the table.

 

            Eliza slid the first couple of waffles out of the machine and onto a waiting plate, before handing it off to Lena with a smile. “You know, I thought I only had to raise two bickering daughters, but I guess I was wrong.”

 

            “I’ll try and play nice,” Lena promised with a bright smile, carrying the plate over to the table and giving the waffles to Kara and Alex. Maggie threw her hands up in protest, her mouth opening as she tried to find something to say. Instead she sat there spluttering, looking at Eliza, who had her back turned to the table, for help. Cupping her hands around her mouth, Maggie mouthed several curse words at Lena, who sat there biting her lip as she tried not to laugh. She waited patiently for Maggie’s revenge, which didn’t take long.

 

            Eliza brought more waffles over to the table, and Maggie lunged for them as soon as Eliza turned back around, taking the entire plate and moving them out of Lena’s reach. “Oh, real mature,” Lena huffed, rolling her eyes as she sat back in her chair.

 

            Alex plucked one off the plate and threw it onto Lena’s, ignoring Maggie’s protest at her girlfriend’s betrayal. “You can get your revenge later, she’s going to need her energy for it,” Alex explained, and Lena didn’t like the smile that crossed both of their faces.

 

            “Um, am I missing something?” Lena asked.

 

            “Oh, right! You weren’t upstairs,” Kara remembered, smiling widely at Lena. “We’re going paintballing today!”

 

            Lena let out a loud groan, “fuck off – oh, sorry Eliza – I am _not_ going paintballing. You’re just going to pick on me.”

 

            Maggie looked delighted at the thought. “Exactly! It’s going to be hilarious. How easily do you bruise?”

 

            Lena didn’t reply, she just sat there glowering at the three of them as they all laughed. Thankfully, she would have Kara on her side, and Lena hoped that would be enough to even the playing field.

 

\---

 

            Lena was hiding inside a tyre, trying to move her mask into a comfortable position as she caught her breath. The overalls she’d been given upon arrival were painted an array of colours; a testament to Alex, Maggie, and, much to Lena’s shock, Kara’s shooting skills.

 

            Everything had been fine when they got here. Lena had assumed that her and Kara would team up against Alex and Maggie, but as soon as the game started, found herself betrayed by Kara shooting her in the back. Apparently they were playing in the free-for-all with no deaths, and Lena knew she was about to wish that she could be taken out.

 

            Luckily, there were a bunch of strangers playing too, so Lena had time to hide and catch her breath whilst she prayed that her disappearance had gone unnoticed. Apparently not, as a second later Lena locked eyes with Maggie, and Lena just knew she was wearing a big smile behind her faceguard.

 

            “Maggie, I swear to God,” Lena warned her as she scrambled for her gun. She bit back a yell as Maggie shot her in the thigh with a laugh. “I will fucking kill you, Sawyer.”

 

            Another paintball caught her in her calf, and Lena shouted curses at Maggie as she crawled out the other side of the tyre. Half hidden behind the rest of the tyre, she aimed her gun and shot Maggie in the face, taking some satisfaction in the gagging and spluttering sounds Maggie made as the paintball burst upon impact, spraying greasy liquid through the holes on the bottom half of the mask.

 

            Laughing at the curses Maggie threw after her, Lena set off running in the opposite direction, pulling up short as a man ran across her path. She let off a spray of pellets, catching him in the ribs and went to find a new hiding spot.

 

            A paintball struck Lena in the shoulder and she raised her gun, looking around to see who had fired. “Hi sweetie,” Kara’s voice called out from above.

 

            Lena looked up in confusion, frowning as she stared at Kara, who was laying on the roof of the little hut, peeking her head over the edge as she looked down at Lena.

 

            “Kara,” Lena said with surprise, “how the fuck did you get up there!”

 

            “I climbed, duh,” Kara laughed. “Basic tactics; always take the higher ground.”

 

            Lena lifted her gun and shot Kara in the mask with a laugh. “Another basic tactic; never let your guard down.”

 

            Kara choked out a sound of surprise as she wiped the liquid off her mask. “I’ll get your back for that!” Kara laughed, scrambling to sit up and swing her legs over the side. Lena let out a panicked sound and sped off away from Kara, hearing a thud behind her as she jumped down to the ground and pursued Lena.

 

            Lena noticed Alex stood nearby and ran over to her, nearly barrelling straight into her as she grabbed her and used her as a shield. “Alex! I fucked up! Your sister. She’s coming,” Lena panted, hiding behind Alex’s bigger frame.

 

            “Oh shit, you’re in for it now,” Alex laughed, shooting a nearby child who was attempting to hit them.

 

            “Shut up and help me!” Lena hissed, peeking around her to see where Kara was.

 

            “Oh fuck, she’s seen me,” Lena yelped, ducking back behind Alex. “If you help me I’ll get you a reservation in any restaurant in National City.”

 

            “Any?” Alex asked, looking down at Lena.

 

            “Yes, any,” Lena insisted.

 

            “Deal,” Alex agreed, and Lena darted to the side, leaving Alex to handle her sister. She made it two steps before letting out a shout of pain as a pellet hit her. Looking over her shoulder, Lena’s shock turned to irritation.

 

            “Ow, what the fuck, Danvers! That was my ass!” Lena yelled as she held one hand to her bum. “You’re supposed to be helping me!”

 

            “From my sister,” Alex laughed, turning and shooting Kara in the chest. “See? Helping.”

 

            “You’re all assholes!” Lena complained before running as far away from Alex and Kara as she could get. Rounding another corner, she saw Maggie standing a few metres away from her and let out a loud groan.

 

            Lena really hated paintballing.

 

\---

 

            Stripping off all of her clothes, Lena groaned as she took in the bruises covering every inch of her. With a sigh, she climbed under the hot water, her body aching in protest. Lena wasn’t used to the weight of a gun and her muscles screamed in protest every time she raised her arms to scrub her body clean.

 

            Lena was halfway through getting dressed when Kara knocked on the door. “It’s me,” she called through the wood, and Lena yanked the door open.

 

            “I’m just getting changed,” Lena told her, moving to let Kara come in.

 

            “Oh my God. Oh no, look at all your bruises,” Kara laughed sympathetically.

 

            Lena gave her a dark look, frowning slightly as she picked up a pair of Kara’s borrowed sweatpants and slipped them on. “No thanks to you,” Lena reminded her, pouting as Kara gently prodded one of the purple bruises on her ribs.

 

            “Sorry! I didn’t realise you got hit so many times,” Kara winced, looking at Lena’s pale, mottled skin as she got undressed.

 

            “Well it looks like we’re even,” Lena laughed, taking in the bruises on Kara’s body, although they were less numerous than her own.

 

            “I need to get your sister back for this one though,” Lena crumbled, pulling down the waistband of the sweatpants and her underwear and turning around to show Kara the giant bruise on her ass. Kara couldn’t help the laugh that burst out of her, and she clapped a hand over her mouth to stop herself.

 

            “Alex!” Kara shouted, “what did you do to my girlfriend?”

 

            There was a muffled reply, which grew closer until Alex walked into the bathroom with Maggie in tow. “Oh shit, girl,” Maggie laughed, taking in the bruises on Lena’s ribs and stomach.

 

            “Yeah, I know,” Lena huffed, turning around and pulling her bottoms down again. “And look what your girlfriend did to my ass.”

 

            Alex and Maggie burst out laughing, and Kara joined in whilst Lena sulked, prodding at the tender bruise and wincing slightly. It just so happened that Eliza chose to get up then, having been asleep all day after her night shift. She stopped outside the bathroom door and let out a quick laugh, clapping her hand over her mouth as she looked at Lena, with her sweatpants halfway down her ass, Kara, half-naked, and Alex and Maggie laughing uncontrollably.

 

            “Looks like you got the worst of it, dear,” Eliza told Lena, biting back a smile, before she carried on walking past and headed downstairs.

 

            “And I got a reservation at any restaurant in National City _and_ shot her in the ass, so I think I made the best of it,” Alex bragged.

 

            “You’re awful,” Kara sighed, shaking her head as she smiled at her sister. Lena sighed, forcefully, as she pulled her trousers back up and slipped a sweatshirt on. She slipped past Alex and Maggie, letting out a sound of protest as one of them poked her ass, right on top of the bruise.

 

            “Alex was right, you do have a cute ass,” Maggie’s voice floated down the hallway after Lena as she marched downstairs. Alex and Maggie followed after her a few seconds later, laughing as they left Kara to shower.

 

            “You know what, I think I might cook tonight. You both like chicken, don’t you?” Lena asked, raising her eyebrows at them.

 

            “Ah, the chicken,” Eliza said with a quiet chuckle.

 

            Lena buried her head in her hands, her cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. “Kara told you about that?” Lena asked Eliza, wincing at the memory.

 

            “Oh yes, I heard all about the chicken,” Eliza laughed, patting Lena affectionately on the cheek. “I also heard about the peanuts. Really sweetheart, that’s not the best way to make a girl like you. Please don’t eat anymore peanuts.”

 

            Lena let out an embarrassed laugh, mumbling some excuse as she shrugged. She tended to do stupid things around Kara, especially at the beginning, and she didn’t think she would ever grow out of doing stupid things around her.

 

\---

 

            It was dusk, and Lena was sat in the middle of a field with Kara. The tall grass gently swayed in the breeze, harmonising with the rustling of the trees in the distance. Nearby, Kara's camera was discarded, along with a stack of polaroids that she'd already taken. It was dark enough that the first stars started to appear, and Lena smiled slightly at the sight.

 

            “I’ve always liked the stars,” Lena murmured quietly, “there’s something about them that’s so comforting. No matter where we are in the universe, there’s always stars. And here, there’s always the same stars. In London, in Paris, in China. It’s nice to know that some things never change.”

 

            Kara brushed the hair away from Lena’s neck and placed a kiss to the hollow of her throat. “I’ll remember that when I’m away,” Kara whispered against Lena’s skin, placing another kiss on her collarbone.

 

            “One week,” Lena said sadly, dreading the rapidly approaching day more than ever, “I wish we could stay here instead.”

 

            “I do too,” Kara sighed, pulling back and gazing into Lena’s sad eyes.

 

            “You know, I’ve never felt so relaxed before,” Lena told Kara, leaning back on her elbows.

 

            “I had no idea. You always seem like you’re the pinnacle of calm, what with you running a multi-billion-dollar company, and literally never leaving your office or doing anything that's even remotely relaxing,” Kara laughed softly.

 

            Lena let out a quick laugh, “okay, I get it. I work too much, but it’s been nice to not think about it for a few days.”

 

            “I’ll bring you here more often when I get back,” Kara promised, and both of them ignored the unspoken ‘if’ dangling over their heads. For now, the promise of the future was all that mattered. It was what they both needed to hear right now.

 

            They stayed there for hours, stargazing whilst they huddled up next to each other. Lena could have stayed wrapped up in the comforting smell of Kara’s perfume, and the smell of the surrounding countryside, all night.

 

            She never wanted the moment to end, but of course, it did.


	23. Chapter 23

            It was their last day in Midvale, and just three days before Kara was being deployed, and Lena was quiet all morning, not wanting the trip to end. For the most part, she’d been able to not think about Kara leaving. Surrounding herself with Kara’s family had allowed her to put aside all her worries and just enjoy her time in Midvale.

 

            They weren’t leaving until that evening, on the last train, so they spent the morning around the house. Lena was sat on the sofa next to Kara when Eliza walked in with a big smile on her face.

 

            “Lena, come here for a second, sweetie,” she said, tearing Lena’s attention away from the TV. “I have something for you to see.”

 

            Curious, Lena pushed herself up and followed Eliza out to the kitchen, and Kara followed too to see what all the fuss was about. She let out a loud groan as she peered past Lena and saw the boxes on the kitchen table.

 

            “I thought you might like to see some photographs of Kara when she was younger,” Eliza told her, sitting down at the table and opening one of the boxes to reveal stacks of photo albums.

 

            “No! No photos,” Kara whined, trying to pull Lena back.

 

            “Little Kara? Now this is something I have to see,” Lena laughed, shaking off Kara’s grip and walking over to the table to sit down next to Eliza.

 

            "That's not fair! I haven't gotten to see any of you!" Kara complained as she followed Lena over to the table and plopped down in a chair, sulking slightly.

 

            Lena barked a laugh at the thought of photos of her. "I'm not sure there are any," she told Kara, "we do actually have some family photos, but they're ugly posed things. Although, I'm sure you could find some from the events and paparazzi if you searched for them. You know, if you were that desperate."

 

            "Maybe I will," Kara challenged her, smiling to herself as Lena rolled her eyes.

 

            After quickly searching through the boxes, Eliza found the one with the correct date on the spine and pulled it out, laying it flat on the table and opening it to the first photo.

 

            It was Kara, probably just after her parent’s death, sat in the middle of the Danvers family on a sofa. Lena tilted her head to the side as she smiled down at the photo, taken with a polaroid camera.

 

            “This was the day Alex met Kara for the first time. Jeremiah and I had already met her and decided on adoption, but you know, two teenage girls under one roof,” Eliza explained, laughing quietly.

 

            She flipped to the next page and Lena smiled at the photo. There was Kara, sat cross-legged in the middle of a bed, smiling whilst a pair of big glasses and bangs covered half of her face. Lena laughed, “look how cute you were.”

 

            Kara’s cheeks turned red with embarrassment as they flipped through the pages and pages of photos. There was Kara stood next to Alex, both of them dressed in soccer uniforms. Kara smiling whilst surrounded by dogs as she volunteered at the animal shelter one summer. Alex frowning at the camera whilst Kara sat next to her, leaning forward and smiling brightly.

 

            There was one of Kara dressed in a baseball uniform, holding a bat as she smiled, and Eliza laughed at the same time that Kara groaned. “Kara decided to take up baseball when she was fourteen. This was just before her first and only match where she swung at the ball and ended up throwing that bat instead, and knocking out the pitcher,” Eliza told Lena, who laughed as she rounded on a guilty looking Kara.

 

            “I still feel bad about that,” Kara winced, “after that I decided to stick to watching baseball instead.”

 

            There were a few photos of Kara dressed in a cheerleading uniform, and Lena choked on her coffee as she looked at those. She vowed to never let Kara live that down, because no matter how rich and prissy Lena was, at least she’d never been a _cheerleader_.

 

            Alex and Maggie wandered in later on to join in on the reminiscing, and all three of the Danvers took turns telling stories behind their favourite photos, whilst Lena and Maggie listened with amusement. Kara had shared a lot of her childhood with Lena, but it was nice to hear the little, unimportant stories that they shared. The photos helped Lena paint a picture of Kara’s life after her adoption, and she wished that she could see some photos from before, but she already knew they’d all gone up in flames with the rest of Kara’s childhood home.

 

\---

 

            They spent the rest of the afternoon chatting and looking through the photos, before going to the diner one last time. Kara, of course, got her last slice of pie, and Lena gave in to her rule of pie not being a proper lunch.

 

            It was five o’clock, and everyone was getting ready to leave. Eliza insisted on driving them to the train station, and Lena helped Maggie load all the bags into the trunk of the car whilst Kara ran around the house finding things that she might have forgotten.

 

            All too soon, they were pulling up outside the station and unloading their bags. Alex and Maggie said goodbye to Eliza, who gave them both big hugs and made them promise to visit soon. They both picked up their bags and told Lena and Kara that they were going to get the tickets.

 

            Eliza gave Lena a warm smile as she held her at arms length. “Thank you for having me, Eliza. I’m so glad we got to meet,” Lena smiled back. “I hope I’ll get to see you some other time.”

 

            “Oh, well, you’re welcome, honey. It’s been wonderful getting to know you, thank you for coming,” Eliza said, gently patting Lena on the cheek. “Make sure you come and visit soon; you can come down with Alex. And if you need anything, just call me, okay?”

 

            Lena was taken by surprise at Eliza’s words. She hadn’t thought that she would come to Midvale again until Kara came home. She let Eliza wrap her in a hug, taking comfort in the motherly embrace. A part of Lena dimly acknowledged that she had finally found the maternal figure that Lillian never was, and she didn’t want to Eliza to let go.

 

            Stepping back, Eliza turned to look at Kara with a sad smile. She held her arms open and Kara rushed straight into them, burying her head in her mom’s shoulder. “Oh, my baby girl,” Eliza sighed, closing her eyes as she held her close.

 

            “Make sure you stay out of trouble, okay? And call me as often as you can,” Eliza choked out, and Kara mumbled in agreement.

 

            “And let me know if you need me to send you anything,” Eliza continued, “and please, _please_ , most importantly, just come back home. Please, just stay safe. Don't be a hero.”

 

            Kara pulled back and nodded tearfully at Eliza, giving her a watery smile. “I always stay safe. I love you, mom,” Kara murmured, quickly giving Eliza another hug before pulling back.

 

            “I love you too, sweetie,” Eliza said, brushing Kara’s hair out of her face and kissing her on the forehead. Alex and Maggie came back over with their tickets, and gave Lena a small smile, as Eliza and Kara said their last goodbyes.

 

            “Okay, you had better go before you miss your train,” Eliza laughed quietly. “Go on. Be good, all of you, and especially you.” Her gaze settled on Kara, and she gave her a smile, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

 

            They all said goodbye, and Lena reached for Kara’s hand, pressing a kiss to the back of it as they walked to the train. Kara hesitated at the train door, turning to wave at Eliza before following Lena onto the train.

 

\---

 

            It was a long journey back to National City, and Lena spent most of the ride tucked up next to the window, one arm wrapped around Kara, who had her head buried into Lena’s shoulder. Kara always hated saying goodbye to her mom, no matter how many times she had to do it, and Lena knew there was nothing she could do to comfort Kara, except to just hold her close.

 

            Lena’s driver picked them up, and took them straight back to Alex’s place, deciding to get takeaway for dinner. Lena called Kara’s favourite Chinese restaurant and placed a delivery order, hoping that it might offer Kara some small comfort. Inside, Lena was barely holding herself together, knowing that she was going to have to go through this in a couple of days, and she didn’t think she’d be able to hold herself together as well as Eliza had.

 

            Dinner was a quiet affair, and no one really talked much as they sat in front of the TV watching the movie that Kara had picked. It was strange for Lena to see Kara so dejected and upset. Of course, they’d had their arguments, but Kara had always bounced back to her usual optimistic self as soon as it had blown over. If anything, it was only going to get worse up until Kara left.

 

            The absence of Kara’s cheerful demeanour sent her to bed early that night, and Lena went with her, mumbling a goodnight to Alex and Maggie as she disappeared down the hallway after Kara. Her bedroom door was open, and Lena could dimly make out the shape of Kara sat on the edge of her bed in the dark.

 

            Walking in, Lena shut the door behind her, plunging them both into darkness. Warily, she shuffled over to the nightstand and flicked on the lamp. Kara looked up at her with a small smile on her face. “Come here,” she murmured, holding her hands out to Lena.

 

            Lena let Kara pull her closer and she let out a squeal of laughter as she lost her balance and fell onto Kara’s lap. Kara’s lips found Lena’s neck as her hands ripped open the front of Lena’s shirt. She flipped them over, so she had Lena pinned down beneath her, and trailed hot kisses down her chest and stomach.

 

            It wasn’t until Kara unbuttoned Lena’s jeans and started tugging them off that Lena bolted upright, slightly startling Kara, who was kneeling on the floor in front of Lena. She looked up at Lena with slightly raised eyebrows, an unspoken question in her eyes.

 

            “Kara, I know you’re upset, but … I don’t – I don’t think sex is going to help make you feel better,” Lena said slowly. Kara’s shoulders sagged in defeat as all the air rushed out of her lungs. Taking her by the shoulders, Lena guided her back onto the bed and scooted up near the top.

 

            “I’m sorry,” Lena murmured, laying back against the pillows and drawing Kara in close to her said. “I just-, I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re upset.”

 

            Kara sighed, relaxing into Lena’s embrace. “I know,” she mumbled miserably, “I’m just so frustrated, and I don’t know how to make it go away.”

 

            Lena let out a laugh, kissing the top of Kara’s head. “And you think sex is the answer to your problems?”

 

            “Well it’s certainly not going to make them any worse,” Kara laughed quietly, looking up at Lena and giving her a smile. Lena sat up slightly and kicked her jeans off and slipped off the rest of her shirt, before pulling the edge covers down and slipping underneath.

 

            “You have a point there. Maybe tomorrow night,” Lena told her with a smirk, rolling onto her side and propping her head up on her hand as she stroked the side of Kara’s face.

 

            “But for tonight, how about I just hold you and we can talk,” Lena suggested. Kara pulled her jumper over her head, before stripping off the rest of her clothes, flipping the lamp off and crawling back into Lena’s arms.

 

            Somehow, it was exactly what Kara needed. She needed someone to hold her close and remind her that she wasn’t gone yet, and even if there was an aching feeling in her heart, things would be okay. Lena loved her, and she would still be here when Kara got back.

 

            Kara fell asleep first, leaving Lena staring into the darkness as thoughts swirled around her mind. She couldn’t stop thinking about how Kara would be gone in less than three days.

 

            Lena wasn’t ready to let her go.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might've shed a little tear whilst writing this.

            Kara knocked on Lena’s door at eight o’clock that night.

 

            Their last night.

 

            Lena rushed to open it, giving Kara warm smile and a hard kiss as she pulled her inside. They’d spent all day together, but she’d left Kara at Alex’s to finish some last minute packing, figuring that she should do it alone. Lena was really just scared that she would breakdown crying if she had to watch Kara pack her things, knowing that the thing she had been dreading was becoming a reality. She’s been able to ignore it for the most part, but all they had left was the night. In the morning Kara would be leaving.

 

            Lena, Kara, Alex and Maggie had gone out for dinner together earlier on in the night, at Kara’s favourite Chinese restaurant of course. One last meal together with the four of them. Lena had bought extra potstickers for Kara, wanting her to enjoy them while she still could.

 

            Now, it was just the two of them.

 

            Lena brushed the hair out of Kara’s face as she kicked the door shut behind them, leaning in to kiss her again. “I have a surprise for you,” Lena murmured against Kara’s lips as she smiled.

 

            “Oh really?” Kara replied, pulling back slightly to raise her eyebrows at Lena, a glimmer of excitement in her eyes. “And what does this surprise entail?”

 

            “Hmm, you may need to lose a few layers,” Lena smirked, leaning in to pull the collar of Kara’s shirt aside and place a kiss to the hollow of her throat. Undoing the first button, Lena pressed a kiss on Kara’s exposed collarbone, and quickly followed with the rest of them. Kara let her shirt drop to the floor.

 

            Kara’s hands went to the belt tying Lena’s bathrobe together, and Lena smiled as she pried Kara’s fingers off it. Dropping her hands to Kara’s jeans, Lena unzipped them and knelt down in front of her, kissing her way down Kara’s stomach as she pulled the jeans down. She pressed a kiss to the inside of Kara’s thigh, and Lena suppressed a laugh as Kara stumbled backwards into the wall, a gentle moan escaping her lips at the feeling of Lena’s mouth on her thigh.

 

            Standing up, Lena crushed her lips against Kara’s, as Kara kicked her jeans off. Roaming hands found the clasp to Kara’s bra and that quickly came off, followed by her underwear. By this point, they’d barely made it to the kitchen, and Lena pressed forward, pushing Kara towards one of the various bathrooms in her apartment.

 

            In the middle of the bathroom, the bubble bath Lena had run was waiting for them, and Lena broke of the kiss as she led Kara over to the bath. She pressed a chaste kiss to Kara’s lips, before grazing her ear with her lips. “Get in, I’ll be back in two seconds,” Lena told her before slipping out of the room.

 

            Kara obeyed, slipping into the hot water. She relaxed, watching the steam rise off the top of the water as she waited for Lena to come back. Kara didn’t have to wait long, and a moment later Lena reappeared in the doorway, holding a silver container and two forks.

 

            Kara rubbed at the fogged up lenses of her glasses as she stared at Lena. “Is that what I think it is?” she asked, her focus trained on what Lena was holding in her hand.

 

            “It might be,” Lena smiled coyly, pushing the door shut before walking over to the bath. There was a little table next to the giant bath, and Lena deposited the chocolate pecan pie on the counter, just out of Kara’s reach. She smiled as Kara stared longingly at the pie.

 

            Bringing her hands to the belt of her silk robe, Lena untied it and let the fluid fabric fall to the floor. The motion caught Kara’s attention and she opened and closed her mouth a few times as she stared at Lena, who was stood there smirking in her lingerie.

 

            “Oh,” Kara said breathlessly, all thoughts of pie forgotten. Lena let out a quick laugh, snapping Kara out of her staring. With a giant splash, Kara half-rose and half-lunged towards Lena, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her close.

 

            Lena laughed as Kara practically dragged her into the bath, not giving her time to fully undress. Kara’s hands searched through the bubbles to undo the bustier, tossing it across the bathroom to form a puddle on the floor.

 

            “Dammit, I was going to give you a striptease,” Lena joked, enjoying the widening of Kara’s eyes at her words.

 

            “Now that’s something I’d like to see,” Kara laughed as she removed the rest of Lena’s underwear. Picking up the pie, Lena dug a fork into it and held a forkful out for Kara. She shoved it into Kara’s mouth, making her laugh as she chewed it.

 

            “You’re the best,” Kara told her, leaning forward to kiss Lena.

 

            They relaxed in the heat of the water, feeding each other forkfuls of pie and swapping kisses. Before the bubbles disappeared, Kara made herself a beard out of them, laughing as she did it. Lena laughed along with her, shaking her head as she gazed at her lovingly.

 

            “I wish I had your camera right now,” she told Kara, flicking some of the foam at her.

 

            “Well, I, for one, am glad you don’t have it,” Kara smiled, scooting forward and pulling Lena in for a kiss, bubble beard and all.

 

            Eventually, once almost all of the pie had been eaten and their fingers were wrinkly from being in the water too long, they decided to get out. They quickly dried themselves off, and Lena bent down to scoop up her robe. Kara snaked her arms around Lena’s waist as she straightened up, bringing her lips up to her ear.

 

            “I wouldn’t bother putting it back on,” Kara whispered, kissing the side of Lena’s neck. The robe fluttered back down to the floor, and Lena twisted around in Kara’s arms, bringing their lips together.

 

            “Mm, well that sounds promising,” Lena murmured against Kara’s lips, “but how about a massage first?”

 

            “A massage? Sounds amazing,” Kara smiled. Lena disentangled herself from Kara’s arms and walked over to one of the cupboards, pulling it open and rifling through the contents. She turned around, holding up a bottle of scented oil as she sauntered back over to Kara.

 

            “You just happen to keep massage oil in your guest bathroom?” Kara asked, arching an eyebrow in question.

 

            “Well you never know when you might need it,” Lena shrugged, giving Kara a smile as she took her by the hand and led her down the hall and into her bedroom.

 

            “Lay on the bed,” Lena ordered Kara, switching a lamp on and shutting the door.

 

            “Face down or up?” Kara asked as she crossed the room.

 

            Lena laughed as she joined Kara on the bed. “Down. I think the other part comes later on.”

 

            Squeezing some of the oil onto Kara’s back, Lena trailed her fingers through it, before placing her hands flat. Spreading the oil over Kara’s back, Lena began to rub it in as she gently worked the tension out of Kara’s muscles. Leaning down, Lena placed a kiss on the back of Kara’s neck, and soon the massage dissolved into something else.

 

\---

 

            The early morning sun streamed in through the open curtains, and Lena silently cursed the fact that she’s forgotten to close them last night. She didn’t want today to be any longer than necessary.

 

            Kara slept peacefully next to her, and Lena quietly padded across the room to draw the curtains across, before carefully slipping back into bed. Knowing that sleep was hopeless, Lena watched Kara sleep, a lump forming in her throat as she realised this was the last time she would see this sight for a while.

 

            Eventually Kara stirred, squinting as she tried to make out the shapes of the room. Blindly, she reached out next to her, her hand searching for Lena. Picking it up, Lena kissed the back of it, before scooting closer to Kara and letting her rest her head on her chest.

 

            “Good morning,” Lena murmured, kissing the top of her head.

 

            “No it’s not,” Kara whispered miserably, and Lena pressed her lips together, not having a response for that. “What time is it?”

 

            “It’s almost eleven,” Lena told her, wishing that it wasn’t. Time was moving too fast, and the past seven months seemed like a blur to Lena.

 

            They hadn’t had enough time.

 

            All she wanted was more time.

 

            “Eleven? I guess we didn’t go to sleep until early this morning,” she said, grinning at Lena.

 

            “Oh ... well, we still have some time,” Kara said, and Lena smiled sadly. She would miss the way it seemed like Kara was reading her mind, as if she knew exactly what Lena was feeling. They’d made endless jokes about everything being a first for Lena, and this truly was a first. She had never wanted someone to stay so badly in all her life, had never loved someone so much that even the bare thought of being away from them was enough to make her feel like her heart had been torn out of her chest.

 

            They stayed in bed for a while longer, neither of them wanting to move from the it ever again, but eventually they had to get up and face the day.

 

            “We should shower and get dressed. We promised to have lunch with Alex and Maggie before we go to the airport,” Lena reminded her. Kara sat up slightly, turning her head to kiss Lena, before scrambling out of bed and walking to the bathroom.

 

            Lena followed behind her, slipping under the hot water as Kara turned it on. They lingered a little longer than intended, memorising every inch of each other before stepping out and getting dressed. Kara had had to go on a search around Lena’s apartment to find the clothes that had been discarded last night.

 

\---

 

            Lena’s driver dropped them off outside Alex’s apartment, before pulling out into traffic and driving off. Alex always drove Kara to the airport, and this time Lena would join her on the trip to say goodbye at the gate.

 

            Alex and Maggie were just finishing getting ready when Lena and Kara walked into the apartment. They all mumbled good morning to each other, and Lena noticed that Alex’s mood was as black as her own. Maggie looked at Lena with sympathy in her eyes, giving her a grim smile.

 

            They went to their usual café, the one where Kara and Lena met, and Kara ordered a stack of pancakes and two lattes. Lena smiled sadly, remembering their first meeting where Kara had told her they didn’t do lattes like that in the army. She pushed the thought aside.

 

            Sunlight fell through the window, lighting up the side of Kara’s face and turning her eyes a translucent blue. Lena let out a quiet laugh suddenly, shocking them all as she smiled widely at Kara, even if her eyes were slightly wet.

 

            “Do you have your camera?” Lena asked, knowing that Kara would never go anywhere without it. Kara nodded, pulling it out of her bag and sliding it across the table. Lena picked it up, bringing it up to her eye and pointing it straight at Kara.

 

            “The lighting, it’s perfect,” Lena smiled, repeating the words Kara had said to her the first time she had taken Lena’s photo. With a small flash and a click, a rectangle started printing out of the camera and Lena patiently waited for the black square to fill with colour.

 

            Passing the camera back to Kara, Lena stared down at the photo, perfectly capturing the soft golden tones of Kara’s hair and the gentle curve of the corners of her mouth. Holding it up, Lena let Kara look at it, before she quickly grabbed the nearest knife and started cutting a rough circular shape around Kara’s face.

 

            The three girls watched her with curiosity and a bit of concern as Lena held the small oval in her hand. Reaching up, Lena undid the locket around her neck and opened it up to reveal the empty space inside. There was no photograph. Kara remembered Lena telling her that her brother had bought it for her for her sixteenth birthday, and Kara was upset to think that it had been empty that whole time, just waiting for the day Lena would find a person she cared enough about to fill the empty space.

 

            Understanding lit up everyone’s faces as they watched Lena gently jam the photo into the locket, before doing it back up around her neck. She pressed a hand over it, holding it against her chest as she smiled at Kara. “There. Right next to my heart,” Lena told her, her voice wobbling slightly.

 

\---

 

            It was early afternoon when they finished their lunch, and none of them were eager to rush home. Slowly, they wandered towards Alex’s apartment, knowing that they’d have to get there eventually so Kara could get ready.

 

            Upstairs, Lena, Alex and Maggie sat on the sofa, quietly talking whilst Kara rushed around the apartment getting ready. Eventually, she walked out, dressed in her army uniform and carrying her bag. The three of them stood up and she gave them a small smile.

 

            “Well, we should get going,” Kara said, trying to muster her usual enthusiasm but falling short.

 

            “Come here little Danvers,” Maggie said, her dimples appearing as she smiled at Kara and opened her arms. Kara dropped her back and gave Maggie a big hug.

 

            “Do I need to give you the usual speech? Look after yourself, okay?” Maggie told her. “I’ll see you soon.”

 

            Kara pulled back and nodded, giving her a sad smile. “Please, look after them both for me, and look after yourself too,” she whispered, and Maggie smiled widely, nodding in reassurance.

 

            Alex said goodbye to Maggie, promising to see her tonight, and Lena waved as they followed Kara out of the apartment, leaving Maggie home alone. She preferred to let Alex say a private goodbye to Kara, so she never went to the airport with her, but she was grateful that Alex would have Lena this time.

 

            The three of them got into Alex’s car, and all too soon they were heading towards the airport.

 

\---

 

            Kara was all checked in for the first leg of her flight. It would be a long trip, taking three stops before she reached Afghanistan, and she wagered she wouldn’t be the only soldier on this plane.

 

            They bought cheap coffee at one of the coffee stands in the airport, and sipped it nervously whilst they waited for Kara’s flight to be called. On account of Kara being a soldier, they were given special permission to say goodbye at the gate, right before boarding, and Lena was grateful that Kara wouldn’t be sat here alone whilst she waited to get on the plane. They would be together every moment up until boarding.

 

            Her flight was called too soon, and Lena’s heart felt like it had dropped out of her chest. She was trying her hardest to keep it together, but she knew that wouldn’t last long. The three of them stood up and walked over to the gate, standing off to the side of the crowd of passengers.

 

            Alex stepped forward and Kara dropped her bag as they wrapped each other in a tight hug. Lena stood off to the side, her bottom lip trembling as she tried to calm her breathing down. She was panicking. She wasn’t ready, she didn’t want to be alone.

 

            “I don’t have to say it, you already know, but just … stay out of trouble. Please just stay out of trouble. And don’t try and be a hero. You save yourself first okay?” Alex told her, and Kara laughed weakly.

 

            “I promise,” Kara said, pulling back and looking at Alex with wet eyes. “Look after each other, please. I love you.”

 

            “Yeah I will. I love you too,” Alex told her, kissing Kara on the forehead and pulling back. Her eyes were dry, but Lena could tell how hard it was for her. She moved a few feet away, giving Kara some space to say goodbye to Lena.

 

            Kara turned to Lena, and gave her a sad smile. Instantly, tears pricked at Lena’s eyes and she rushed into Kara’s arms, burying her face into the crook between Kara’s neck and shoulder. Neither of them said a word, they just held each other tightly, both of them shaking with silent sobs. The crowd was slowly moving forward and Lena knew she’d have to let go now.

 

            She pulled back, staring down at the floor to hide her tears. “J-just make it back to me,” she told Kara, her voice breaking as she spoke. “I don’t care how, just as long as you c-come back.”

 

            Kara nodded, lifting Lena’s chin so that she could stare at her face whilst she still could. There were tears making their way down her cheeks and Kara wiped them away, even as new ones fell. “I promise. I’ll always come home to you,” Kara whispered. “I know it’s hard for you to l-love someone. I know it hurts. But please, wait for me to come home.”

 

            “Always,” Lena choked out, cupping Kara’s face between her hands. “I love you, no matter what.”

 

            “I love you too,” Kara told her, smiling widely through her tears. “I’ll call you as often as I can. Every day if I possible. I-I won’t say goodbye, okay? I’ll just-, I’ll see you soon.”

 

            Lena nodded, swallowing the thick lump in her throat, fighting back the tears as best as she could. “You sh-should go through n-now,” she stammered, her voice hoarse through the tears. Kara nodded, leaning in to press a rough, lingering kiss to Lena’s lips. And then another one, more gentle this time, but full of desperation. Pulling her in for another quick hug, Lena breathed in the smell of her, taking in the feeling of her arms wrapped around her.

 

            Kara picked up her bag, and the three of them walked towards the gate. She handed the woman her ticket, turning to look at Lena and Alex one last time. She gave Lena another quick kiss, and grabbed both of their hands, looking from one to the other.

 

            “I love you both,” she whispered, before dropping their hands and picking up her carry-on and walking through the gate. Alex and Lena stood there watching her until she disappeared out of sight. She turned around at the corner of the tunnel, waving to them both one last time and giving them a tearful smile.

 

             Lena rubbed furiously at her face, drying her eyes of any tears as her and Alex turned around and walked back the way they had come. They didn’t talk, but Lena jumped slightly when she felt Alex’s hand brush her own, before holding onto it and squeezing it. Lena looked up, but Alex was staring straight ahead, her jaw set as she walked through the airport with Lena in tow.

 

            They got back to the car, and Lena slipped in the passenger side, half-collapsing into the seat, and Alex’s reaction was similar as she climbed into the driver’s side. Lena waited for Alex to start the car, but she just sat there, hand on the steering wheel as she looked down at her lap.

 

            “One minute,” Alex said, pulling Lena out of her misery for a moment.

 

            “What?” Lena asked, not understanding what Alex was talking about.

 

            She turned to look at Lena, and Lena could see tears in her brown eyes. “You have one minute to cry and then get your shit together. I’ve found that it’s easier if you let it all out and then pull yourself together until you go to bed … and then you can cry yourself to sleep,” Alex told her.

 

            A bubble of surprised laughter burst out of Lena, and then she found that she was on the verge of tears again, and a strangled sob came out. Then everything came crashing down and she dissolved into a puddle of tears. Lena wrapped her arms around herself, as if making sure she wouldn’t physically fall apart, and an endless stream of tears slide down her face. Alex was going through a similar process in the driver’s seat, but less extreme, having gone through this multiple times before.

 

            “Okay, moment’s over. Pull yourself together,” Alex told Lena, sitting up straight in her seat and pulling out a packet of tissues. She handed Lena a few, and they both dabbed at their faces and blew their noses.

 

            Alex cleared her throat and tossed her short hair back, before buckling her seatbelt. “Feel better?” she asked Lena, not turning to face her out of a mutual understanding that they both didn’t want the other to make a fuss.

 

            “Actually, yes,” Lena told her, feeling as if the weight of grief had been lifted. There was nothing better than crying when you’d been holding it back for so long, and Lena had been holding it back for a very long time. There was still an aching sadness inside, but there was nothing in the world that could make that go away, except for Kara to come running off the plane and straight back into Lena’s arms.

 

            They drove home in mostly silence, and Lena spent most of the ride in a daze. Alex’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she blinked in surprise.

 

            “We’re here,” Alex said, turning the engine off and unbuckling her seatbelt.

 

            “This isn’t my place,” Lena said, unbuckling her own seatbelt as she looked at Alex in confusion.

 

            “No shit. You’re staying at my place tonight. I promised her I wouldn’t leave you alone,” Alex said, opening her door and stepping out. Lena opened her own, and followed Alex upstairs to her apartment.

 

            Unlocking the door, Alex walked in, and Lena walked in after her, shutting the door behind her. Maggie jumped off of the sofa, giving them both a sad smile. “You good?” she asked, looking from Alex to Lena.

 

            Lena nodded, not wanting to talk about it. Maggie walked over and wrapped and arm around Lena, guiding her over to the sofa. “You sit here and I’ll get you some coffee,” Maggie told her, “I just brewed a pot.”

 

            “Going soft on me are you Sawyer?” Lena said, raising her eyebrows at Maggie, whose mouth dropped open at Lena’s words.

 

            “Fuck you, I’m trying to be sensitive,” Maggie said, shooting her a dark look as she walked into the kitchen. Quickly, she poured Alex and Lena a cup of coffee each and brought them over to the sofa.

 

            “Thanks,” Lena said, sounding sincere. She loved to bicker with Maggie, but she was grateful for Maggie’s sweet nature too, even if she rarely showed it.

 

            “I thought we could get pizza for dinner,” Maggie said, looking at the two girls to judge their reaction. Lena shrugged half-heartedly, not too bothered by what they had. She wasn’t hungry anyway.

 

            “Sure, pizza sounds good,” Alex agreed, “I’ll call up and order now.”

 

\---

 

             She stayed up until it was an acceptable time to go to bed, and then Lena said goodnight, putting her empty cup into the sink before disappearing down the hallway to Kara’s room. She hesitated slightly before she turned the door handle and walked inside.

 

            It was exactly the same as always, except for the photo album perfectly placed in the middle of the bed. Lena avoided it for the moment, knowing that Kara had purposely left it out for her. Instead, she walked over to Kara’s dresser and pulled out the first pair of sweatpants and old t-shirt that her hands fell on.

 

            Dressed in Kara’s pyjamas, Lena sat in the middle of the bed, picking up the photo album. Pulling the covers back, Lena crawled under them, getting comfortable. An envelope fell out as she opened it to the first page, and Lena picked it up as she stared down at the first picture.

 

            There was Lena, the sun hitting the side of her face as she looked at the camera. On the white trim of the polaroid Kara has scrawled _‘The day we first met’_ with the date next to it. A small sob escaped Lena as she traced a finger over the writing. She turned her attention away from the photo album, for the time being, and looked down at the envelope. Her name was written on the front, and she turned it over to open the letter. She pulled out a few pieces of paper and unfolded them to reveal Kara’s handwriting, smudged in some places from where she’d obviously been crying whilst writing it.

 

 

_To Lena,_

_Alex told me she’d bring you back to her place tonight so I figured I’d leave this in my room for you to find, along with the photo album. They’re just a few of the hundreds that I’ve taken over the past seven months, and a few out of the thousands I plan on taking in the future._

_I know that I could just email you, or call you as soon as I get here, but some things are better said when written down. There are some things I need to tell you that I never got to say when I was here. I think I was afraid that I’d break down, and I didn’t want to make it harder than it had to be. For both of us._

_First things first, I love you. I know I told you this one, but I want you to know how much I mean it, because I do. I love you so much that it hurts just to think about leaving you behind, even though it’s not forever. The thought of coming home to you is enough to get me through this. And I will come home, I can promise you that much._

_Second of all, I want to tell you how grateful I am to you for the past seven months. I never got to tell you how grateful because we thought we’d have more time, but the time we did spend together has been the best part of my life. I have known what it’s like to truly be loved because of you. Thank you. And I know I made you do all those ridiculous things you’d never done before, but I want you to know that it has meant the world to me that we could do all those things together. I will cherish every memory of those days, and every moment in between that we’ve spent together._

_The photos are a testament to that. For so long I photographed the beautiful things I saw, things that made me appreciate what everyone else took for granted. But you, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever photographed, and I wanted to show you that. I want you to know that no matter what happens, we have these memories together, and in these pages I won’t ever let you go._

_I know that there’s no point in telling you not to worry about me, because that would just be stupid, but I hope that you know I’ll fight every day to come home to you. We still have a lifetime to spend together, and nothing will take that away from us. Not even a stupid war._

_You can probably tell that I’m crying too much now, so I’ll end it here. Just know that I love you more than you could possibly imagine, and if there’s one thing I know it’s that I will never stop loving you. I know that with every fibre of my being. It’s going to be hard, I know that, and I’m dreading it. But please, hold on to the hope that I’ll come home and I won’t ever let you go again. The empty pages are my promise that I’ll be back to fill them up with new photos of new memories._

_Yours always,_

_Kara x_

            Lena clutched the pieces of paper to her chest, one hand covering her mouth as her shoulder shook with sobs. Love wasn’t supposed to hurt this much, it wasn’t fair. Wiping her eyes, Lena folded the paper back up and put them back into the envelope, before setting it aside and looking back down at the photo album.

 

            She flipped to the second page, and there was the back of Lena as she walked out of the cinema. Underneath it Kara had written ‘ _First movie date’_ , then there was another photo of Lena biting into her hotdog, and underneath that one _‘The hotdog experience’_.

 

            On and on the pages went, filled with photos of Lena that she hadn’t realise Kara had taken. There were some of them together, smiling at the camera which Kara held away from them as she took it. Others, Lena was oblivious to, and others were obviously taken by Alex or Maggie. Those were Lena’s favourites. The ones where they were so wrapped up in their little bubble, their eyes only for each other, that they didn’t notice the flash or click of a camera going off. She made a mental note to thank them both for that.

 

            She stared down at the photo of her and Kara, taken that morning as they walked back to Alex’s apartment after lunch, hand in hand. Flipping over the next page, Lena was met with a blank page, and she realised that she was at the end. She smiled through her tears as she put her hand flat on the page, thinking about Kara’s promise to come back and fill them up with more photos. She would be counting down to that every day.

 

\---

 

            It was three o’clock in the morning, and Lena was in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of water. She’s spent the entire night crying as quietly as possible as she clutched the letter and photo album to her chest. The sheets, the jumper and Kara’s pillow all smelt like her, and somehow that made Lena feel further away from her than closer.

 

            A lamp flicked on, and Lena whirled around, spilling some water in the process. It was Alex, rubbing her eyes as she yawned. “Can’t sleep?” she asked Lena in a loud whisper.

 

            “It’s funny, I’ve been alone for my entire life. I’ve slept alone every night. And then I met your sister, and I’ve slept beside her every night for the past few months, and now … now I can’t sleep because there’s an empty space where she should be. It’s only been a few months, and I don’t know what to do,” Lena whispered, her voice hoarse from all the crying.

 

            “It’s okay to miss her. You don’t have to try and be strong the second she leaves. You might put up your ice queen persona, but no one is expecting you to _not_ cry yourself to sleep. At least for the first week or so,” Alex told her, giving her a sad smile.

 

            “You heard that, huh?” Lena laughed weakly, her cheeks turning red from embarrassment.

 

            “This place has thin walls, I'm just glad that's the only thing I've heard whenever you've stayed over,” Alex joked, flashing her a smile. “It’ll get easier; I swear it will. It just-, it takes time.” Lena nodded miserably.

 

            “Come on,” Alex said, jerking her in the direction of the hallway.

 

            Lena put the glass down on the counter and walked over to Alex, who flipped the lamp off and touched Lena’s back with her fingertips to guide her down the hallway. Lena went to go left, back into Kara’s room but Alex grabbed her hand and jerked her to the right instead. Lena shot her a look of confusion, but it was too dark for Alex to see.

 

            “It won’t make things easier, but at least you won’t have to wake up alone in the morning. You better not fucking start crying again though, Maggie and I have work in the morning,” Alex whispered as she pushed open the door to her room and pulled Lena inside.

 

            Luckily Alex’s bed was big and Maggie was small, so the three of them had no problem fitting comfortably. Alex was right too; Lena was still upset, but the sound of someone else’s breathing, and the warmth radiating off Alex and Maggie was enough to help her drift off to sleep. She was exhausted from the amount of crying she’d done, and soon fell into a deep sleep. She didn’t wake up again until Maggie woke up and let out a startled yell, finding herself not only cuddling her girlfriend, but also her girlfriend’s sister’s girlfriend.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao all of the comments from last chapter are people being emo, so all I have to say is you're in for a wild ride.

            “What the fuck?”

 

            The started yell woke Lena up, and she shot up in bed, clutching the blankets to her chest. Alex stirred next to her, slowly waking up, and on the other side Maggie was staring at Lena with confusion.

 

            “Morning,” Alex mumbled, propping herself up and kissing Maggie good morning.

 

            “Well it’s definitely an unusual morning,” Maggie spluttered. “I mean, I wasn’t expecting to wake up spooning my girlfriend’s _sister’s_ girlfriend.”

 

            “Sorry,” Lena mumbled, rubbing at her tired eyes. “My crying was keeping Alex awake.”

 

            “Good thing I don’t sleep naked,” Maggie laughed, pulling back the covers and getting out of bed. “That would’ve been awkward for everyone.”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes and got out of the other side of the bed, waiting for Alex to roll out so she could make the bed. The other two girls walked into the kitchen and Lena listened to them pottering about, talking as they set about making breakfast. Lena neatly arranged the pillows before slipping out of Alex’s room and walking down the hallway.

 

            “Coffee?” Maggie asked, holding up the pot and raising her eyebrows.

 

            “Um, sure,” Lena replied, walking over to the kitchen and accepting a cup off Maggie. Alex was busy making eggs, and she looked over her shoulder at Lena.

 

            “Do you want cereal? Toast? Eggs _on_ toast?” Alex asked her, raising her eyebrows in question.

 

            “I’m fine, thank you. I, uh, should get going, I need to go into the office,” Lena said, giving her a grateful smile.

 

            “Christ, Luthor, give yourself a day at least before you throw yourself back into it,” Maggie told her exasperatedly.

           

            “I have a board meeting tomorrow that I need to prepare for,” Lena shrugged.

 

            “At least have some breakfast before you go,” Alex told her, handing Maggie a plate of toast. Maggie sat down at the table to eat her breakfast, and Lena followed her over with her coffee.

 

            “I’ll even share my granola with you, but only this once, so I’d take me up on it if I were you,” Maggie told her with a grin. Lena rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her coffee.

 

            “Fine, I’ll stay for breakfast,” Lena said, giving in to their fussing. She left her cup on the table and walked into the kitchen to grab something.

 

            “What do you want?” Alex asked her, sliding her own scrambled eggs onto some fresh toast. “Do you want me to make you eggs?”

 

            “It’s fine, I can make my own. Go and eat yours before it gets cold,” Lena told her, putting down two slices of bread in the toaster. She made herself some eggs and carried it over to the table. The three of them chatted as they ate, and things almost felt like every other morning, except for the empty space that Kara usually occupied.

 

            Lena washed their dirty dishes whilst Alex and Maggie got ready for work, trying to keep herself occupied. Doing the dishes wasn’t the best idea though, because it kept her hands busy but her mind free, and all she could think of was how Kara would usually be sneaking up behind her, planting kisses on Lena’s neck as she tried to distract her.

 

            She was stood next to the kitchen counter, dressed in yesterday’s clothes and holding the photo album and letter carefully. Maggie and Alex reappeared, both halfway through getting ready for work. Lena cleared her throat softly, looking at them both as Maggie tucked her shirt in and attached her badge and Alex sat down at the table to pull on her boots.

 

            “I should probably go, so, um, thanks for breakfast … and for everything else,” Lena said slowly, not sure how to say goodbye. They both looked up and gave her a smile.

 

            “No problem,” Alex said, standing back up and buttoning fixing the collar on Maggie’s shirt. “Just try and take it easy today, okay?”

 

            “Yes boss,” Lena laughed quietly, knowing that she was going to throw herself into her work as much as possible so she wouldn’t have time to miss Kara, if only for a moment. When she got home she knew it would all come crashing down, so if throwing herself into statistics and blueprints would give her a small reprieve, she was going to take it.

 

            “I, um, I guess I’ll see you soon then,” Lena said hesitantly as Alex walked her to the door. She wasn’t sure when she would see Alex again, but she assumed that Kara had asked her to check up on Lena every once in a while, so she figured that she’d see her maybe in a few weeks.

 

            “Yeah, have a good day at work,” Alex told her with a smile.

 

            Lena smiled back sadly. She would miss spending time at the apartment with Alex and Maggie. In a way, she was losing everyone, not just Kara. “Yeah you too,” Lena told Alex, before peeking around her and waving to Maggie, “bye guys.”

 

\---

 

            By noon Lena was already wallowing in her misery as she pored over the files in front of her. She’d highlighted a few of the issues she wanted to bring up tomorrow, but that was as far as she’d gotten. She couldn’t help but think about what Kara was doing. It would be night time in Afghanistan, and she should be arriving soon, if she hadn’t already. Lena wasn’t sure how long it would be before Kara could contact her.

 

            The door to her office opened and Jess walked in with Lena’s lunch; a walnut and orange salad instead of whatever fried or sugary thing Kara would usually bring her. Jess set it down on the desk for Lena, giving her boss a concerned look before she turned to walk back out. It was no secret to Lena’s employees that she was dating Kara, and Jess knew the circumstances of their relationship better than anyone else in the building.

 

            “Jess.”

 

            Her assistant pulled up short at Lena called out to her, turning around and looking at Lena with a mildly surprised expression. “Yes, Miss Luthor?” she asked, waiting for Lena’s request or comment.

 

            “Can you please call my mother and ask her to have someone find some of my childhood photos and send them to me,” Lena asked her.

 

            “Oh, yes, of course. Right away ma’am,” Jess replied, rushing off to do Lena’s bidding. It was the first thing Lena had asked her to do all day, and Jess was glad of it. She was very protective of Lena, even if she only saw Jess as her assistant.

 

            “And Jess,” Lena called out, stopping her again as she reached the door and turned back around. “Thank you, Jess.”

 

            Jess smiled at her and gave her a small nod before walking out.

 

            Fifteen minutes later Lena got a phone call. Her heart leapt at the sound of it vibrating, and she lunged for it, almost upsetting her glass of water in her rush. She was filled with bitter disappointment as she looked down at her mom’s name lighting up the screen.

 

            “Yes?” Lena said icily as she answered.

 

 _“You could at least attempt to be polite,”_ Lillian replied coolly.

 

            “I’m busy, I don’t have time for idle talk,” Lena snapped, her temper flaring up already. She was too tired and emotionally drained to deal with Lillian right now.

 

 _“Planning for the board meeting tomorrow, I know,”_ Lillian said, _“I just wanted to call and let you know that I’ll be in town tomorrow for the meeting, and I’ll bring the photos you asked for with me.”_

 

            Lena paused for a moment before replying. “What’s the catch,” she asked suspiciously. She heard Lillian’s exasperated sigh on the other end of the call, but she didn’t try and lie to Lena.

 

 _“I’ll give them to you over lunch,”_ Lillian told her.

 

            “Lunch?” Lena laughed, “you’re going to blackmail me with lunch?”

 

 _“Oh really, Lena,”_ Lillian sighed, “ _why do you have to see it as blackmail? Am I not allowed to ask for a favour as small as lunch with my daughter in return?”_

 

            After a moment’s deliberation, Lena sighed, agreeing that it was a fair trade. She really wanted those photos.

 

            “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

            She hung up without waiting for Lillian to reply, and dropped her phone onto her desk. Putting her head in her hands, Lena sat like that for a few moments, massaging her temples as she took a deep breath. The sound of her phone vibrating again elicited a heavy sigh, and Lena went to click ignore before realising that it wasn’t her mom.

 

            This time the paperwork wasn’t so lucky as Lena rushed to answer the phone, knocking over the glass of water, and upsetting a stack of paper which fluttered to the floor, along with Lena’s phone. Lena dived to the floor in a panic, scrambling to pick it up and answer it.

 

            “Shit,” she swore, shuffling the sodden papers into a pile and picking up pieces of the shattered glass as the video call connected. “Fuck.”

 

_“I thought you’d be happy to see me.”_

 

            Lena let out a breathless sob at the sound of Kara’s voice, tears springing to her eyes as she scooped up the phone. There she was, smiling widely at Lena, even if she did look like she hadn’t slept for days.

 

_“Are you sat on the floor?”_

 

            “Oh God, oh my God,” Lena cried, fully sinking down to the floor as she drank in the sight of Kara on her screen. “I’m sorry I’m crying, I’m just overwhelmed, and I miss you and I love you.”

 

 _“I miss you and I love you too,”_ Kara laughed, her own eyes shining with tears, shifting slightly as she adjusted her position. _“Sorry I couldn’t call when I landed, this is the first free moment I’ve had since I got here.”_

 

            “It’s fine, I knew you’d have to get settled in first,” Lena told her, smiling at her through her tears. “I’m just so relieved to see your face; I can’t stop thinking about you.”

 

 _“I can’t stop thinking about you too,”_ Kara told her, _“on the first flight I cried the entire time. In the end I had to borrow two sleeping pills off the lady next to me so I could knock myself out. I thought I would never stop.”_

 

            “Oh yeah? Well I ended in bed with your sister _and_ Maggie because my crying was keeping her awake,” Lena laughed, wiping at her eyes. “Thank you for the photo album and the letter, by the way. They only made me cry like a thousand times more.”

 

            Kara laughed and Lena’s heart leapt at the sound. She would never take it for granted ever again. _“I bet Maggie was thrilled about that when she woke up, and I’m glad you liked it. I just-, I wanted you to have something to hold onto, something where I’m still with you.”_

 

            “I know. It’s perfect, thank you. I’m holding you to your promise that you’ll be back to fill up the rest of the pages,” Lena warned her.

 

 _“Of course,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “Seriously though, Kara. I swear to God, you better come home or I will fly there and kill you myself,” Lena threatened.

 

 _“I wouldn’t put it past you,”_ Kara smiled at her, her eyes full of adoration. _“And I always keep my promises.”_

 

            “Good,” Lena murmured, gently tracing her fingers over the screen, almost as if she could touch Kara. “Have you spoken to your mom and Alex yet?”

 

 _“No, not yet. I was going to call them next. I just had to see your face first. I had to see if you were okay,”_ Kara whispered, giving Lena a sad smile.

 

“I’m managing,” Lena told her, giving her a wry smile as she rolled her eyes at Kara. They both knew she was trying to put on a brave face, but that’s all it was. Underneath that she was heartbroken. “You should call your mom and your sister. Let them know you got there safely. I don’t want to hog you.”

 

            _“Every inch of me is yours, Lena Luthor,”_ Kara assured her, _“but you’re right, I should call them. I’ll call you as soon as I can, I promise. Hopefully tomorrow.”_

 

            “Call whenever, okay? It doesn’t matter if it’s four in the morning, as long as I get to see your face,” Lena told her.

 

            Kara laughed, her eyes sparkling behind her glasses and her nose wrinkling slightly. _“Yes boss. I love you.”_

 

            “I love you too. Please stay safe,” Lena murmured, a soft smile gracing her lips, “bye.”

 

            They both sat there for a moment, neither one of them wanting to hang up first and both of them waiting for the other to do it. Lena let out a laugh, “we’re not being one of _those_ couples.”

 

            Kara joined in with her laughter, before they both said goodbye and Lena hung up, before they sat there for the next half an hour staring at each other’s faces with longing in their eyes.

 

            She felt better having spoken to Kara, like she had just been reassured that everything was okay between them both. If she really tried, Lena could almost pretend like she was just speaking to Kara on the phone, like she usually did at work.

 

            With a sigh, Lena pulled herself up off the floor, and wiped at her eyes. She drew a compact mirror out of her bag and touched up her makeup, before looking at the ruined paperwork with dismay. It looked like her work for the day was done.

 

            Lena threw the paper into the recycling bin and closed her laptop, before stuffing it into her bag, along with her phone. She walked over to the door, yanking it open and walking out of her office. Jess looked up in surprise as Lena walked out, leaping to her feet as she rushed to fetch Lena’s coat, seeing that she was leaving for the day.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena said, giving her assistant a small smile. She knew even her perfect makeup couldn’t hide her red eyes, swollen slightly from crying, and she knew Jess would have picked up on it instantly. She liked to think of her assistant as more of a distant friend. They didn’t really hang out outside of work, but Lena realised she actually liked her.

 

            “You should go home, Jess,” Lena told her, smiling as she took the coat that Jess held out to her. “There’s no need to stay here if I’m not.”

 

            “Oh, well I could always double check your schedule for next week,” Jess offered.

 

            “I insist,” Lena said. “Don’t bother coming in tomorrow either. I’ll only be here for the board meeting and then I’m leaving. Don’t worry, you’ll receive a full day’s pay for today and tomorrow, just … go and enjoy your weekend.”

 

            “Well that’s very kind of you, Miss Luthor,” Jess said, giving Lena a warm smile. Lena waved away her thanks, before saying goodbye and walking over to the elevator.

 

\---

 

            Lena was sat in her office in her apartment, writing a letter back to Kara. She quite liked the idea of them writing love letters to each other, it would be something to occupy her time, and she would be able to tell Kara things that she might have forgotten during their talks.

 

 

            _My dearest Kara,_

_I’m not sure if you were expecting a reply, but I have some things to say too, and like you said; some things are better said written down. So first of all I want to thank you for the past seven months. You don’t know what a blessing you have been to me. Before you, it was like I wasn’t even alive, I can’t remember my life without you, it feels like a dream and now I’ve been woken up. You have painted my world a thousand different colours, and I don’t care how cliché that sounds, it’s true. You have made me appreciate the beauty of simple things like flowers and good coffee._

_I know I’m not one to love someone easily, and I don’t make it easy for someone to love me too. You’ve mentioned that a few times, and I feel like I need to clear some things up. When we met, I was stumbling through life, not knowing how to manage things or where I fit. Love seemed stupid and inconsequential, but then I met you. I told you that some people aren’t built for love, that true love was the stuff of fairy tales, but I guess I was wrong. You were right when you said that you just have to find the right person, and I will be eternally grateful to you for showing me that._

_I still remember my fortune cookie from that day at the Chinese restaurant; ‘love is like oxygen; you need it to survive’. I guess that fortune cookie’s are right sometimes, because I don’t think I could survive in a world without love. Well that’s not entirely true – I don’t think I could survive in a world without your love. I think your cookie was right that day too (in case you forgot it said ‘a part of us remains wherever we have been’), because you walked right into my life and left footprints on my heart, and now you’ve wandered off with it, leaving pieces of you behind, in the photographs you’ve taken, to fill the gap. It’s okay though, because I know that you’ll bring my heart back whole._

_This is getting a lot sappier than I thought it would, so I want to tell you one more thing. You’re a hero at heart, I know that. You want to save people, that’s who you are as a person, and I think that’s why you joined the army, even though you don’t believe in the war. But still, I want you to know that it’s okay if you only save one person, and it’s okay if that person is yourself. So please, if it comes down to it, save yourself. I know that that’s a selfish thing to say, but please, for once in your life just be selfish._

_I love you with everything that I am._

_Lena x_

 

            She folded the pieces of paper up, before slipping them into the envelope. Lena had used the nice stationary that Lillian had bought her when she became CEO of L-Corp, as if a gift would make Lena more inclined to forgive her. She was grateful for it now though, otherwise she wouldn’t have anything to write on, and she had to admit, it was nice stationary.

 

            With a sigh, Lena got up and grabbed a thick cardigan from her closet before walking out of her apartment and heading up to the roof. Carefully, she watered all of her plants, pulling a few weeds as she checked on her vegetables. After she finished, she stood on the edge of the rooftop, drinking in the sight of the city spread out before her, and then she looked up at the stars, smiling at the thought that Kara would be looking up at the same stars whilst she was away, even if it wasn’t at the same time.

 

            Finally, the wind had chilled Lena to her core, and she decided to go back downstairs. The elevator opened and her eyebrows rose in surprise as she took in the sight of Alex leaning against the wall and Maggie sat down, knees drawn up to her chin as she clutched a paper bag.

 

            They both became alert as Lena stepped out of the elevator, giving them a confused look. “Um, hi, how long of you been waiting here?” Lena asked as she walked over to her door. “And how do you know where I live?”

 

            “Only like five minutes, and do you really think it would be hard for a detective and a federal agent to find out where you live? We brought dinner. We figured we’d wait because you weren’t at your office and you wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Maggie explained, following Lena into her apartment.

 

            “Someone was about two minutes away from kicking your door in if you didn’t open up,” Alex told Lena as she shook her head with an amused look on her face.

 

            Lena laughed, not doubting it for a second, even with Maggie’s short stature. “Sorry, I just went up to water my vegetable garden,” Lena explained, shutting the door behind Alex.

 

            “Vegetable garden? Okay grandma,” Maggie snickered. “I swear you were born fifty years old.”

 

            “I thought you’d appreciate the fact that all my food is organic,” Lena sighed, rolling her eyes. She led them deeper into her apartment, walking out of the hallway and into the kitchen.

 

            “Can I get you something to drink?” Lena asked, turning around to look at them when she didn’t get a reply. They were both looking around with wide eyes, taking in the size and obvious wealth of the place. Maggie let out a low whistle.

 

            “Well shit. Nice place, Luthor,” she said with approval. “Although, it’s not the mansion I thought you’d live in.”

 

            Lena quietly snorted at her words, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, well this is only my National City home. My Metropolis one is a bit more impressive, although that’s technically my mom’s,” Lena admitted.

 

            “How many houses _do_ you own exactly?” Alex asked, looking around the apartment with interest. Lena knew it wasn’t exactly what people expected from her, it was too comfortable and homely to fit her cold and calculating personality.

 

            Lena thought for a second, ticking them off her fingers as she mentally counted. “Well, seven personal ones, I guess,” she said, “but a lot of my assets are in real estate, so a lot more if you count those.”

 

            “Impressive,” Alex said, nodding her approval. Lena was obviously a smart business woman.

 

            “Please make yourselves at home,” Lena said, gesturing for them to sit down at the kitchen counter. She pulled some plates and cutlery out, setting them out in front of three of the stools whilst Alex and Maggie unpacked the bag. It looked like they were having curry for dinner.

 

            “Scotch? Wine? Coffee?” Lena asked, walking over to the liquor cabinet and opening the doors.

 

            “Ooo, yes, scotch please,” Maggie called over, her face lit up at the thought of the expensive scotch. She didn’t even have to ask if it was expensive, she just knew it would be because as much as she loved to tease Lena for being a rich girl, she had good taste.

 

            Alex agreed on the scotch, and Lena pulled out a bottle and picked up three tumblers. She brought them over to the counter and poured a generous amount into each glass. Picking up the rice, Lena scooped some onto her plate, before exchanging it for the curry.

 

            “So … I’ll admit, I’m a bit surprised to see you here,” Lena said slowly, taking a samosa from a container.

 

            “Oh,” Alex murmured, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she frowned. “We thought you could use the company.”

 

            “I don’t mean it in a bad way,” Lena said hurriedly, “I’m grateful for the company, I had actually resigned myself to the next few months of loneliness again. I just … I guess I figured that Kara was kind of the middle person, and we probably wouldn’t hang out whilst she was gone.”

 

            Maggie laughed through a mouthful of food, and she quickly swallowed before replying. “Oh God, you thought we were being nice to you for Kara’s sake?” she asked, laughing again. “You thought we were just going to drop you when Kara left and then see you again when she got back? Christ, and I thought we were starting to become friends.”

 

            Lena laughed, feeling slightly embarrassed. “This was you being nice? I almost wish that I _could_ have a few month’s peace now,” Lena joked, before turning serious. “Sorry, I just really thought that we wouldn’t really hang out all that much.”

 

            “What, you thought you could get out of Sunday family dinner that easily?” Alex asked her, raising her eyebrows in surprise as she gave Lena a small smile.

 

            “Ah, that. I guess I should’ve known,” Lena laughed softly, a bubble of happiness welling up inside her as some of her sadness lifted. She wasn’t going to be alone until Kara came back. They weren’t going to push her aside until they were forced to hang out with her because of Kara. Lena felt odd. She’d never experienced this kind of thing before. In a way it was just as new as her relationship with Kara. She had _friends_. Real friends who were going to support her through this difficult time. Lena was more grateful to them than they would ever know.

 

            After dinner, Lena put the dishes in the dishwasher whilst Alex and Maggie wandered around the apartment. “Game of Thrones? Really?” Alex laughed as she looked at some of the books on the shelves. “I didn’t take you for a fantasy buff.”

 

            Lena blushed slightly, shrugging as she wandered over to them. “I didn’t have a lot of friends in school so I read a lot. And who doesn’t like dragons, right?” Lena said, wincing as the last part slipped out.

 

            “Oh my God, what a fucking nerd. I can’t believe it. Lena Luthor is an actual geek,” Maggie teased her, sipping at her scotch. “Can we have a tour? Or do you not like people poking around in your things. Because I can respect boundaries if you tell me where the line is drawn.”

 

            Lena laughed. “Both. I’ll give you a tour, but only because apparently there’s no shaking you off now. If it was anyone else, they should feel lucky they even know where I live, because I don’t exactly advertise that.”

 

            She led them on a quick tour of the house, showing them her personal library, her office, the numerous bedrooms and bathrooms, her home theatre and the private gym. She knew that Maggie would use every bit of this to poke fun at her in the future, but she knew Maggie meant it affectionately. She was like the annoying big sister Lena had never had, and she also knew that Maggie would jump to her defence if she ever needed it.

 

            “What’s at the end of the hallway?” Alex asked, gesturing to the last door they hadn’t been through.

 

            Lena shrugged casually, “oh that’s just the bowling alley.”

 

            “You have a fucking _bowling alley?”_ Maggie exclaimed incredulously.

 

            “No. that’s just my bedroom,” Lena laughed, getting some satisfaction from teasing Maggie. She opened the door to her room, giving them a glimpse into the massive room, even though there wasn’t much to see. She had no time for knickknacks and souvenirs, so her room was quite sparse, although it was obviously furnished with the best of everything.

 

            Alex and Maggie stayed late, and Lena suspected that they were trying to keep her company for as long as they possibly could, but eventually they left. Lena got changed into some of Kara’s pyjamas that were mixed into the assortment of clothes that had been left at Lena’s over the past few months. They still faintly smelled like her, and Lena found it comforting, and, after crying until she exhausted herself, fell asleep clutching the photo album to her chest.


	26. Chapter 26

            Overtired, Lena woke up late the next morning, cursing as she remembered she was having lunch with her mother today, as if a board meeting wasn’t bad enough. With a sigh, she sat up, gently opening the photo album and flipping through a few pages, smiling at the sight of Kara’s face. She put it down on the nightstand next to her bed, and stood up and went over to her closet to find something suitable to wear.

 

            After a quick shower, Lena put on a pencil skirt and a shirt, checking her reflection in the mirror before agreeing that it was appropriate. She wanted to make sure she looked good so that her mom wouldn’t be able to criticise her for anything small – Lena was sure there would be something big to criticise though.

 

            She found breakfast waiting for her in the fridge in the form of yogurt and granola, courtesy of her chef. After inhaling it as fast as she could without choking, she made her way down to her waiting car, internally groaning at the thought that Jess wouldn’t be there to bring her coffee and, due to oversleeping, didn’t have enough time to get her own.

 

            The elevator doors opened and Lena caught sight of Lillian, her back to Lena as she conversed with one of the other board members. Stepping out, Lena shrugged her coat off, and handed it and her handbag to one of the interns standing close by. At the sound of the intern wished Lena a good morning, Lillian turned around, her eyes locking onto her daughter.

 

            “Lena,” Lillian said, walking over and giving her a smile. It wasn’t quite a warm smile, but it lacked the usual iciness that usually accompanied it when she was talking to her daughter.

 

            “Mother,” Lena replied stiffly, giving her a small nod.

 

            Lillian held out one of the takeaway cups of coffee she held. “You still prefer cappuccinos, correct?”

 

            Lena accepted the coffee warily, but grateful that she wouldn’t have to sit through the meeting without caffeine. “Thank you,” Lena muttered awkwardly, not sure how to feel about the kind gesture.

 

            “Well, we should go in. The meeting starts soon,” Lillian told her, before striding towards the door to the conference room and going inside. Lena sighed slightly, before following her in to start the meeting.

 

\---       

 

            The meeting seemed to drag, but Lena was grateful that it was actually one of the shorter meetings they’d had. At last, the remaining point was covered and the last question answered, and the meeting was adjourned. As everyone packed up, Lena shook hands and said goodbyes, before walking out to reclaim her coat and bag.

 

            “Ready for lunch?” Lillian asked, materialising at Lena’s side. “I made a reservation at this new French restaurant that just opened up.”

 

            “Let’s go,” Lena said, pushing the button on the elevator and stepping inside as soon as the doors opened. She crossed her arms over her chest, remaining silent for the entire duration of the elevator ride and the car ride to the restaurant. Lillian made a few comments about the board meeting, but Lena provided no input.

 

            They walked through the doors of the restaurant, and Lena wasn’t the least bit surprised at the obvious fanciness of the place as they were escorted to their table. Lillian would never eat anywhere with less than a five-star rating.

 

            Lillian rejected the drinks menu, ordering a bottle wine for the table instead, and Lena didn’t argue, knowing that it would be good. They were silent as they scanned the menu, and Lena ended up ordering the quail before handing the menu to the waiter. They sat there staring at each other for a moment, before Lillian lifted her glass of wine and took a sip before speaking.

 

            “So, how are you?” she queried, and Lena let out a quiet laugh at the thought of Lillian actually caring.

 

            “I do care, Lena,” Lillian insisted, sighing as she looked at her daughter. “I just wish you would give me the chance to prove that.”

 

            “You had my entire childhood to prove that,” Lena retorted, leaning back in her chair as she raised her eyebrows at Lillian. She waited for her mother’s response, enjoying the conflicted looks flashing across Lillian’s face.

 

            “You know I regret that,” Lillian told her, reaching forward to touch Lena’s hand, falling short as Lena pulled it back. “I don’t blame you for hating me, Lena. I know I haven’t been a very good mother, but please, let me make it up to you.”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes as she let out a surprised laugh. “I don’t hate you,” she told Lillian, surprising her by the looks of things. “We’ve never exactly gotten along, but I am grateful to you for everything you’ve given me. I just don’t see why you make such a big fuss about checking up on me and pretending like you care about my life, when we both know that you can’t change the past.”

 

            “You’re all I have left,” Lillian blurted out, falling silent as she let the words sink in. Lena blinked in surprise, not expecting this turn of events.

 

            “You’re all I have left, and I don’t want to lose you too. So that’s why I check up on you and bribe you into lunch with me. Are you happy? Is that what you wanted to hear?” Lillian told her, leaning back and taking a long drink of wine.

 

            Lena drained the rest of her own glass, reaching for the bottle and topping it back up, as well as Lillian’s. “No, it doesn’t make me happy to know that I’m _still_ a last resort for you, even when I’m all you have left, as you say,” Lena muttered bitterly, placing the bottle back down.

 

            “Do you want to know why I never favoured you?” Lillian asked, sitting up in her chair and throwing her shoulders back. Her face was stony and there was a gleam of anger in her eyes. Lena arched an eyebrow at her, nodding slightly for her mom to continue.

 

            “Your father, he was a cruel man. I’m sure you didn’t notice when you were a child, but you saw it when you were older. Even before we adopted you, he was always the way he was, and he took that anger out on Lex and myself,” Lillian said, lifting her chin slightly as she spoke, keeping up her usual demeanour of a strong, proud woman.

 

            She let out a laugh, but there was no humour behind it. “And then you came along. I always wanted a daughter, but then you became his favourite. He loved you so much, you were his little girl. I was afraid that if I pulled you closer to me that he would get angry, that he’d take it out on you like he did with Lex. By the time you realised what kind of man he was, you already resented me.”

 

            Lena was silent as she sat there processing Lillian’s words. She wasn’t sure what to make of it, but she knew that it didn’t change anything. At this point, there would be no point in Lillian lying, and it fit what Lena could remember from her childhood, but there was still a giant rift between the two of them, spanning years, and that wouldn’t go away just because Lillian told her the truth.

 

            “I’m sorry that things aren’t different between us, but I can’t just pretend like the past never happened,” Lena told her.

 

            “I don’t expect you to,” Lillian said, “all I want is for you to give me a chance. Just give me some time to make things right. Please?”

 

            They were interrupted by the arrival of their food, and dropped the topic as they both started eating. Lillian tried to strike up the conversation again, this time about a safer topic.

 

            “So, the photos. May I ask what you need them for?” Lillian asked, raising her eyebrows in question.

 

            Lena shrugged slightly, swallowing a mouthful before replying. “I promised that I’d look into seeing if I could find any photos of me as a child.”

 

            “Ah, for Kara? It is Kara isn’t it?” Lillian replied, keeping her reservations out of her tone.

 

            “Yes,” Lena replied tersely, taking a sip of wine to avoid elaborating.

 

            “And how is she?” Lillian asked politely. “I saw that she was recently deployed.”

 

            “You _saw_?” Lena echoed, narrowing her eyes at Lillian in accusation. She wouldn’t put it past her mother to have someone tailing her and Kara, perhaps even Alex and Maggie if the need arose.

 

            “The latest edition of one trashy magazine or another,” Lillian explained matter-of-factly, reaching into her handbag to pull out the magazine in question. Lena dropped her fork and took the magazine off her, frowning down at the front page.

 

            ‘ _Luthor’s Long Distance Love Affair_ ’

 

            Beneath that, there was a photo of Lena kissing Kara goodbye at the airport. Lena rolled her eyes at the terrible heading, and flipped to the page listed for the main article. There were more photos inside of a teary-eyed Lena leaving the airport, as well as the photo of them kissing at the baseball game from when they first started dating, and another from the gala.

 

            With a sigh, Lena thumped the magazine down on the table and picked up her wine. There was nothing scandalous in the article, it was mostly just speculation about their relationship and a little part about Kara, whose identity had been uncovered somehow.

 

  
            “You didn’t know?” Lillian asked, looking at Lena with something that almost resembled pity.

 

            “Obviously not,” Lena snapped. She was annoyed that there had been people at the airport who had invaded such a personal moment for her. It was clear that it was a private moment, and Lena hadn’t considered the fact that there were always people at airports on the look out for celebrities or people of importance.

 

            “It’s in poor taste, but it could have been worse,” Lillian said, picking up the magazine and staring at the photo of Lena kissing Kara, before stuffing it back into her bag. Lena sighed with frustration as she stabbed at a piece of food and speared it on her fork.

 

            The sound of Lena’s phone vibrating in her bag made her jump, and she quickly dug through her bag, smiling down at Kara’s name as the video call lit up the screen. Lena glanced up at Lillian, arranging her face into a blank expression.

 

            “Excuse me, I have to take this,” Lena told her, pushing her chair out and standing up as Lillian nodded, pouring herself another glass of wine.

 

            “Give her my best,” Lillian told Lena, receiving a sceptical look in return as Lena stalked off to the restrooms.

 

 _“Hi!”_ Kara said, her face appearing on the screen.

 

            “Hi,” Lena replied breathlessly, feeling a giant weight lift off her shoulders as she took in Kara’s wide smile. She locked herself in one of the rooms that were supposed to be considered toilets, and sat down on the padded bench stretching along one of the walls.

 

 _“Where are you?”_ Kara asked her, frowning in confusion at the foreign background behind Lena’s head.

 

            “Oh, I’m, uh, having lunch with my mother. She actually said to give you her best,” Lena told her.

 

            Kara’s eyebrows rose in surprise at Lena’s words. _“Your mother? Why?”_

            “It’s in return for a favour,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “It doesn’t matter now. How are you? How was your day?”

 

 _“Exhausted. Tiring. Missing you,”_ Kara told her, giving her a sad smile.

 

            “I miss you too,” Lena murmured, smiling back at her.

 

 _“Are- are you okay though?”_ Kara asked her, her voice full of concern and her eyes full of sadness.

 

            “I’m … managing,” Lena told her with a quick laugh. “I spoke to your mom whilst we were visiting, and she gave me some advice, so I’m just … trying to, you know, be okay.”

 

 _“Where was I for this sneaky conversation?”_ Kara asked, smiling as gazed at Lena.

 

            “Sleeping,” Lena told her. “It was a very nice talk though, and she was right. I just need to adjust.”

 

 _“Who knew I’d shaken your life up so much in just seven months,”_ Kara laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

 

            “Me!” Lena exclaimed, “you’ve turned everything upside down! In a good way though.”

 

 _“Yeah?”_ Kara smiled at her.

 

            “Mhm,” Lena replied, “I mean, look at me. I’m having _lunch_ with my mother!”

 

 _“Yeah, that’s completely surprising,”_ Kara agreed. She frowned slightly as she thought, before her gaze refocused on Lena. _“Just-, please remember that you deserve only good things, okay? So if she’s trying to use you, or if she’s bothering you, just … I don’t know, call Alex. I’m sure she’ll come over with a shotgun and a list of threats.”_

 

            They both laughed at the thought for a few moments, and Lena was grateful for Kara’s concern, because she didn’t know what to make of Lillian’s words so far. It seemed like she was being genuine, but Lena was happy for the reminder that she didn’t need Lillian. She had her own family now.

 

            “She, uh, she actually wants a fresh start,” Lena told Kara, hoping that talking about it might help her figure things out and come up with a decision.

 

 _“Oh, wow, that must’ve been a shock_ ,” Kara said slowly, slightly taken aback when Lena told her. _“Do you know if you want to try and work things out?”_

 

            “No. I don’t know,” Lena sighed in frustration. “I mean, I do. She’s my mom and of course I want to feel like she loves me and that we can, you know, have a proper relationship. I just don’t know if it’s a good idea, like, it sounds too good to be true.”

 

_“I’m not going to tell you what you should do, I think you need to decide that on your own, but … if you think that she means it, and if it’s something that you want, maybe you should just try. But if you don’t think it’s worth going through everything again, just put your self first, okay? I don’t want to see you get hurt, but you deserve to have a mother who loves you. And I know it’s not the same, but you do have Eliza.”_

            Lena smiled softly at Kara, feeling like her inner turmoil was justified. She didn’t know what to do, but she was glad that Kara understood her well enough to know Lena’s thought process, and it was nice to be reminded that she had Eliza too.

 

            “Yeah, you’re right,” Lena agreed, nodding slightly. “God I miss you. Two days! It’s only been two days! How am I going to get through the rest of the time when I already don’t know what to do without you?”

 

            Kara laughed, shaking her head as she sighed at Lena. _“What am I going to do with you, huh? You’re going to make me bad at my job, I can’t stop thinking about you.”_

 

            “Well that makes two of us,” Lena smiled. “Although I think that’s a lot more serious for you. Maybe don’t get behind controls of a tank for a while.”

 

 _“Good advice,”_ Kara agreed with a laugh, craning her head around at a muffled voice in the background. _“Sorry, it’s pretty loud here. Too many people.”_

 

            “It’s fine. As long as I get to look at you, I don’t care,” Lena murmured, drinking in the sight of Kara’s face. “You’re okay though, right? You slept okay last night? You have everything you need?”

 

_“I’m fine, really. I slept like a log last night, I guess that’s the perks of lugging my body weight’s worth of equipment around all day. I have everything I need, but I might need some new film for my camera soon, could you please send some when I run out?”_

            “Of course. I’m making up a care package for you, so I’ll add some to it,” Lena told her, giving her a small smile. “Anything else in specific you’d like? Any food that won’t melt or expire before it gets there?”

 

 _“Um, I don’t know, maybe some cookies?”_ Kara said, trying to think of things she might need. _“Oh, yeah! I forgot to pack extra toothbrushes too, so can you send me a spare one just in case.”_

 

            “No problem,” Lena laughed, “just let me know when you need new things. Anything at all. I’ll make sure you have it.”

 

 _“Can I have you?”_ Kara asked, raising her eyebrows as she gave Lena a playful smile.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes at the cheesiness of Kara’s words. “You already have me, you’re just going to have to come back and see for yourself.”

 

 _“It won’t be too long, I promise,”_ Kara told her, her smile fading slightly.

 

            “Every second is too long,” Lena complained, pouting slightly.

 

 _“Wow, this might be the first time in your life you can’t get your own way,”_ Kara said, cracking a grin as she looked at Lena. _“How’re you dealing with that?”_

 

            “It’s not fair,” Lena whined, “how do normal people deal with not being able to snap their fingers and get what they want? It sounds exhausting.” She rolled her eyes, smiling at Kara, who laughed.

 

 _“Welcome to the real world sweetheart,”_ Kara smiled, wrinkling her nose slightly.

 

            “The real world is shit. I prefer mine,” Lena told her.

 

 _“You mean the one where you’re hiding in a toilet midway through a meal with your mom?”_ Kara asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

            “Well … yeah, I guess you have a point there,” Lena agreed, looking up to glance around the fancy bathroom.

 

 _“You should get back to your meal,”_ Kara told her, sighing faintly at the thought of saying goodbye.

 

            “You’re probably right, but I don’t want to,” Lena murmured, giving Kara a sad smile. “But you should call your family, so I’ll speak to you the next time you’re free.”

 

 _“Okay,”_ Kara whispered, smiling softly at Lena. _“I love you. Make good choices, and try not to worry, please.”_

 

            “Well that’s not going to happen,” Lena scoffed. “But I love you too. Stay safe and stay out of trouble. Do you hear me? I mean it, Kara.”

 

 _“Yes boss,”_ Kara laughed. _“Wait for me.”_

 

            Lena promised she would, and after a few more moments, they hung up. Holding her phone tightly to her chest, Lena gave herself a couple of minutes to pull herself together, before emerging from the bathroom and rejoining her mother.

 

            “Things are well, I presume?” Lillian asked, arching an eyebrow as she gave her daughter a quick once over.

 

            “Mhm,” Lena replied, sitting back down and slipping her phone into her bag. She didn’t elaborate, not wanting to share the details of her relationship with her mom, let alone her private conversations with Kara.

 

            “Okay, well I ordered dessert. Is strawberry cheesecake still your favourite?” Lillian asked.

 

            “Um, yeah, I guess so,” Lena muttered, as she sighed internally. She’d been hoping to come out and make an excuse to leave straight away, but trust Lillian to have seen that coming. She also picked up on Lena’s annoyance at having to stay for dessert, which annoyed Lena even more.

 

            “Here,” Lillian said, pulling an envelope out of her bag and handing it over to Lena. “As promised. So, you may leave whenever you wish to.”

 

            Lena hesitated before reaching out and taking the envelope off her, surprised at the thickness of it. Opening one end, she let a stack of photos fall into her hand. There were a lot more than she had been expecting, or that she even knew had existed. Quickly, she shuffled through them, taking in the appearance of her much younger self, ranging from just after she must have been adopted, right up until photos of her in her cap and gown, graduating from college.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena muttered, as she gazed down at the photos. A lot of them were family photos, but there were also a lot of candid photos of Lena riding horses, or playing piano or chess. Lillian nodded in acceptance of the thanks.

 

            “This one’s my favourite,” Lillian said, stopping Lena’s hand before she flipped to the next photo. She leant forward, quickly tapping the photo in question. She took it out of Lena’s hand, smiling at it slightly before handing it back to her. Lena was mildly surprised to see that there was some genuine warmth, or affection perhaps, behind the smile.

 

            Looking down at the photo, she took in the wide green eyes and bright smile as she faced the camera. She was dressed in a pleated skirt and tights, with a shirt neatly tucked in. “It was just after we had adopted you. You wouldn’t talk to anyone yet, but I made you sit down for some professional photos to put around the house. You were so shy, but then you smiled right up at me and you said ‘okay mom’ and sat down on the sofa. It was the sweetest thing,” Lillian murmured, smiling slightly.

 

            Lena blinked in surprise. She hadn’t expected something so sentimental to come out of her mother’s mouth. Well, not when it came to herself. Lena quietly shuffled through the rest of the pile, before placing them back in the envelope and putting it safely in her bag. She decided she’d stay for cheesecake.

 

\---

 

            After dessert, they left. Her mom had her driver take her home too, saving Lena the effort of having to wait for her driver or catch a cab. As they pulled up outside Lena’s apartment, she shifted awkwardly in her seat.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena said, “for the photos. I appreciate it. And for lunch.”

 

            Lillian nodded, and Lena hesitated slightly, one hand on the door handle.

 

            “I, um, I’ll keep in touch,” she told Lillian, who clearly wasn’t expecting Lena to say that. She blinked in surprise and a small smile curled the corners of her lips.

 

            “Thank you,” Lillian said, tilting her head to the side as she looked at her daughter.

 

            Lena nodded, opening the car door and putting one foot on the pavement. She swivelled around slightly, looking back at Lillian for a moment. “Bye, mom,” she murmured, before getting out and slamming the car door shut.

 

            She walked up to her apartment, her head reeling from the direction her day had taken. This was the exact opposite of what she thought would happen, but what mattered most was that she had got the photos. Now, it was just a matter of deciding which ones she should send to Kara.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm glad you like "not as big of a bitch as we thought" Lillian Luthor, who actually doesn't have ulterior motives for those of you who are still sceptical. They just have a distant and troubled relationship, so she's actually not evil in this fic.

            The first week passed by quickly, and Lena spent most of her time moping around and throwing herself into her work. Alex and Maggie checked in almost every day, meeting Lena for coffee or inviting her over for dinner.

 

            The only time Lena really felt like she could breathe was when she would talk to Kara. Every day, bar one, they spoke, and Lena would cling to those precious minutes with dear life. They were the most important parts of her day, and she treasured every moment, but eventually Kara would have to go so she could sleep or fulfil one task or another.

 

            It was Sunday, and Lena was just walking up to Alex’s front door. She’d received a call earlier on in the day off Alex, giving her both a warning and reminder that it was family dinner time today and she had better be there or Alex would drag her there herself.

 

            Maggie answered the door when Lena knocked, smiling widely at her as she greeted her. To Lena’s surprise, Winn was also there, still having a couple of weeks of dwell time left like Kara was supposed to have.

 

            “Hey, I brought whiskey,” Lena said as she walked in.

 

            “I’ll take that, thanks,” Maggie said, plucking the bottle out of Lena’s hand and walking to the kitchen. “Does everyone want a glass?”

 

            “Sure,” Lena said, taking her coat off and hanging it by the door. “I brought cake too. Need any help finishing off dinner?” she directed her question at Alex and Winn who were in the kitchen, taking things out of the oven and putting things in bowls. Lena opened the fridge and put the cake inside.

 

            “No, we’re all good,” Alex said, giving her a smile. “Everything’s almost ready.”

 

            Lena nodded and accepted a glass of whisky off Maggie, before joining her at the dinner table. Soon enough, the four of them were sat down around the table, spooning food onto their plates as they talked.

 

            “Did you speak to Kara today?” Alex asked, cutting up her roast beef.

 

            “Yeah, she called my earlier. After you I think,” Lena replied. “She seems a bit happier.”

 

            “The first week back is always the hardest,” Winn explained. “It takes a few days to get back into a routine of being away from your family, but then it gets easier. Kind of like how it is for you, I guess.” Lena gave him a grim smile in agreement.

 

            “Well one week down I guess,” Lena shrugged, smiling slightly.

 

            “Oo, maybe you should get a dog!” Maggie suggested excitedly.

 

            Lena let out a laugh, raising her eyebrows as she looked at Maggie. “A dog? Really?”

 

            “Yeah! Who doesn’t like dogs?” Maggie said matter-of-factly, as if that was enough of an explanation in itself.

 

            “I’ve never had a dog before,” Lena murmured, frowning slightly as she thought about the idea of getting one.

 

            “Well if you decide to get one, I’m coming with you,” Maggie told her. “I can’t let you pick a Chihuahua or some prissy shit like that.”

 

            “Okay, sure,” Lena laughed, rolling her eyes.

 

            “Someone’s just trying to use you to get what they want,” Alex said, raising her eyebrows at Maggie in amusement.

 

            “Apparently _someone_ doesn’t think getting a dog is a good idea,” Maggie sighed.

 

            “We live in two separate apartments, Maggie,” Alex reminded her. “How are we going to share a dog? Plus, neither of our places allows pets.”

 

            Maggie pouted at Alex, before flashing her dimples at her as she smiled. “Okay, fair point. Maybe I should get a goldfish. How fucking boring would that be.”

 

            Alex rolled her eyes, before turning to look at Lena. “On the topic of apartments. I hear that you asked Kara to move in with you when she gets back?”

 

            Lena chewed her food slowly as she tried not to blush. “I, um, yeah I guess. We’re going to talk about it more when she gets back,” Lena told her, smiling at Alex. “She said that you two were thinking of moving in together too?”

 

            “Yeah, we’ve been trying to figure things out for a while,” Maggie said, smiling brightly at Alex. “You know, like whose apartment it should be. Whether or not we should get a new one.”

 

            “We’re leaning towards Maggie’s,” Alex told her.

 

            “Her place is definitely bigger,” Winn added in agreement. “You can have a spare room for, I don’t know, knife throwing or whatever you two do for fun. I’m sure it’s terrifying.”

 

            “Kara said it would make things easier for you if she moved out, so you wouldn’t feel bad about leaving her paying rent for your apartment,” Lena said.

 

            “Yeah, well, I guess that’s true, but you know, I didn’t want to rush into things too,” Alex admitted. Lena hesitated slightly, her fork hovering midway to her mouth.

 

            “Is-, um, do you think that _we’re_ rushing into moving in together?” Lena asked, feeling tense as she asked. She knew that Alex’s opinion was important to Kara, and her answer could easily influence Kara’s decision when she came home.

 

            “Hmm, no I don’t think so,” Alex said, tilting her head to the side as she frowned slightly. “I think your circumstances are completely different, and it makes sense for you to do things quicker.” Lena nodded slightly, taking in Alex’s words.

 

            “Yeah, just maybe don’t get hitched yet,” Maggie said with a laugh, and Lena rolled her eyes, sighing heavily.

 

\---

 

             They were three games into trivial pursuit, and Lena was destroying all of them.

 

            “For fuck’s sake,” Maggie cursed as Lena picked up another pie slice and slipped it into her almost full wheel. “We get it, you’re a fucking nerd.”

 

            Lena downed the rest of her whiskey, smiling smugly at Maggie. “You’ve watched Jeopardy with me, you _know_ I know my shit.” She laughed as Maggie flipped her off, and poured another drink for herself.

 

            “You know what, I’m sick of losing. Let’s do something fun,” Maggie complained.

 

            “Like what?” Alex asked, raising her eyebrows as she took a sip of her own drink.

 

            “What do you say about going out for drinks, huh?” Maggie asked, raising her eyebrows in question as she looked at the three of them. Winn looked at Lena and Alex, waiting for their answer.

 

            “It’s Sunday night,” Alex reminded her, and Maggie shrugged. They were all already half drunk off whiskey anyway. Maggie looked at Lena and raised her eyebrows. Her expression was almost mocking, and Lena’s stubbornness flared up as she rose to the challenge.

 

            “Fuck it,” Lena sighed, draining her glass again and standing up. “Let’s go get pissed.”

 

            Maggie clapped once in excitement, struggling to her feet as she tried to stay balanced. Resigning herself to the fact that she was going to get dragged out regardless, Alex got up and went to fetch her leather jacket and boots.

 

            The four of them made their way downstairs and flagged down a cab, and they ended up at their local bar, crowded in booth in the back corner. As a bartender walked past, they spotted Maggie and smiled as they walked over.

 

            “Hey, you want the usual?” the guy asked.

 

            “How about four tequilas,” Maggie told him with a smile, which widened at the sound of Alex groaning next to her.

 

            “Make it eight,” Lena told the guy before he walked off, her smile mirroring Maggie’s. “Start a tab, on me. It looks like we’re getting fucked up tonight.”

 

            He returned a few minutes later with a tray of shots, gently setting them on the table along with the lime and salt. They all picked up a shot and a wedge of lime, and Maggie stopped them before they drank.

 

            “Wait. I’d like to propose a toast,” Maggie declared. “This is for the best detective here, who put two people behind bars today. It’s me. I’m amazing.” Alex and Lena rolled their eyes as Winn laughed, before they all held their glasses up and downed the shots, coughing slightly at the burning sensation as the tequila went down.

 

            “I fucking hate tequila,” Lena complained, biting into the lime to take away the disgusting taste. She picked up the second shot and quickly downed that one too.

 

            “So … vodka next then?” Maggie suggested, drinking her second shot.

 

            Alex groaned again. “How drunk are you two planning on getting? Just so I know.”

 

            “I have work tomorrow, so probably not too drunk,” Lena said, rolling her eyes at the thought of the meetings she had tomorrow.

 

            “Well I don’t, so who knows,” Maggie laughed as she shrugged, and Alex smiled as she shook her head and drank her other shot too. Lena stood up and walked over to the bar, requesting four double shots of whiskey and four shots of vodka.

 

            It wasn’t long before they had Winn up on the stage, taking part in the karaoke night the bar was having as the three girls cheered him on.

 

\---

 

            Lena slowly opened her eyes and pushed herself up slightly, wincing at the bright sunlight that streamed in through the window. She was laying across the width of Kara’s bed, on top of the covers and still fully clothed, including her coat.

 

            As she sat up, her head span and the overwhelming feeling of sickness rose inside her. Lena lurched upright and ran for the bathroom, barging in on Alex and Maggie mid-shower so she could vomit into the toilet. There were sounds of protest coming from behind the curtain, until they heard the sound of Lena retching.

 

            “Shit. You good, Luthor?” Maggie said, peeking out from behind the shower curtain to stare down at Lena, who was kneeling in front of the toilet with her head practically in the bowl. Lena mumbled something incoherently and Maggie laughed, dropping the curtain back into place.

 

            A few moments later, the water shut off and Alex’s hand snaked out to grab a towel off the rack before she emerged a few moments later. “You look like shit,” Alex told her with a smile as she squeezed past her.

 

            “Yeah, I feel like it too,” Lena mumbled.

 

            “There’s aspirin in the medicine cabinet,” Maggie said before slipping out after her girlfriend as Lena mumbled her thanks.

 

            She stripped off her clothes and turned on the hot water, before stepping under it. she felt better standing under the water, but then that could’ve been because she threw up twice more and there probably wasn’t anymore alcohol left in her stomach.

 

            Wrapped in a towel, Lena stumbled back to Kara’s bedroom and slipped on some of her clothes, before padding back to the bathroom to fetch some aspirin, swallowing them without water. She emerged from the hallway wearing her sunglasses to lessen the stabbing pains behind her eyes from the brightness of the sun, and scowled in Alex and Maggie’s direction as they snickered.

 

            “What time is it?” Lena asked, her voice coming out slightly hoarse.

 

            Alex bit back a smile as she watched Lena collapse into a chair and put her head in her hands. Taking pity on her, she poured a cup of coffee and carried it over. Lena gave her a grateful smile as she took the cup.

 

            “It’s just a little after ten,” Alex said.

 

            “Fuck!” Lena exclaimed. “I had meetings I was supposed to be at. Have you seen my phone?” Maggie picked it up off the counter and waved it at Lena, who got up to get it. She saw she had three missed calls off Jess, one of her mom, and six messages off Jess too. Dialling her assistant, she held the phone up to her ear.

 

_“Miss Luthor,”_ Jess said, sounding relieved.

 

            “Jess. Hi. I, uh, overslept,” Lena said by way of explanation. “I trust that you cancelled my first appointment for me?”

 

_“Yes Miss Luthor,”_ Jess assured her. _“Would you like me to cancel your next one too?”_

 

            “Please. That would be great,” Lena said, massaging the spot above her left eye as it sent stabbing pains through her head. She hung up the phone and sat back down to drink her coffee.

 

            “So, what did we do last night?” Lena asked.

 

            “Can’t remember, huh?” Maggie said with a laugh. Lena shot her a dark look from beneath her sunglasses, flipping her off as she took a sip of coffee. “We just stayed at the bar. You racked up quite a tab though, and you wouldn’t let us chip in. I think you must’ve bought everyone in the bar a drink by the end of the night.”

 

            “How much did I drink? I haven’t had a hangover since high school,” Lena grumbled. The perks of all of her business dinners meant that she was used to drinking large quantities of wine, and had built up a bit of a tolerance to alcohol.

 

            “Enough to give us a brilliant rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody,” Alex told her, laughing at the memory. “And don’t worry, we recorded it and sent it to Kara.”

 

            “Get fucked,” Lena swore at her, her face flushing red with embarrassment. She hesitated slightly before continuing. “Who did I sing it with?”

 

            Alex and Maggie both burst out laughing as they looked at each other and then back to Lena. “You sang it by yourself. You even did the voices, like the high pitch parts and the low voice. I was actually pretty impressed. Do you want to see?” Maggie asked, smiling wickedly at Lena as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

 

            “No!” Lena practically shouted at her, wincing at the loudness of her voice. “I definitely do _not_ want to see it!”

 

            “Suit yourself,” Maggie shrugged, laughing as she put her phone away.

 

            “You want some pancakes?” Alex asked, standing up and walking to the kitchen. Maggie agreed enthusiastically and went to the cupboard to start pulling out ingredients. Lena made to stand up and help, but was stopped by Alex.

 

            “You’re practically green, Luthor. Don’t even bother trying to move,” she laughed, and Lena sank back into her seat, resting her head on the table.

 

\---

 

            It was almost eleven when Lena walked out of the elevator, wincing slightly at the ding as the doors opened. Jess stood up as Lena walked in, holding her hands out expectantly for Lena’s bag and coat. “Good morning, Miss Luthor,” Jess said brightly.

 

            “Ah, not so loud please Jess,” Lena grumbled.

 

            “Sorry miss,” Jess apologised a bit quieter, following after Lena with her coffee and the newspaper. Lena sat down behind her desk, unfolding her newspaper and taking a grateful sip of her coffee as her laptop powered up. She pushed a button on a small remote to automatically tint the windows so that the sunlight streaming into the room was dimmer.

 

            Aside from the two morning meetings that Jess had cancelled for her, Lena didn’t have any other meetings, and decided to use her time at the office to catch up on the research for the latest prototype that L-Corp was constructing. Lena liked to be invested in all of the projects, especially the engineering ones, and was hoping that she’d be able to find the errors that were eluding them so far.

 

            It was a couple of hours later when the door to her office swung open and her mom barged in, with Jess trailing in behind her and shooting Lena an apologetic look. “Your mother’s here to see you Miss Luthor,” Jess said, stating the obvious.

 

            “Thank you, Jess. That’ll be all,” Lena said, dismissively.

 

            “Good God, it’s like a cave in here,” Lillian said by way of greeting as she took in the gloomy office. “Why on earth are you wearing sunglasses indoors?”

 

            Lena sighed, reaching up to take off her sunglasses and pushing the button to untint the windows. She winced as the midday sun streamed in, shining off every surface in the office. Lillian let out a small laugh as she looked at Lena.

 

            “Oh, now I see. Coming to work hungover, now that’s not very professional of you,” Lillian said, arching an eyebrow as she sat down in the chair in front of Lena’s desk. Lena closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before opening them to stare at Lillian.

 

            “What can I help you with?” Lena said cordially.

 

            Lillian tutted quietly, rolling her eyes at Lena. “Straight to business as usual. Where are your manners?”

 

            “Thank you for dropping by, mom, what can I help you with?” Lena said, swivelling slightly in her seat as she smirked at Lillian, knowing that it would irritate her.

 

            “Oh really, Lena, do you have to act so childish? I’m here to see if you’d like to have dinner with me this evening? I’m going back to Metropolis tomorrow,” Lillian told her.

 

            Lena narrowed her eyes slightly at her mother, trying to figure out if Lillian was after anything else. “Dinner?” Lena repeated delicately arching an eyebrow. “Just dinner?”

 

            “Yes, just dinner,” Lillian said, sounding irritated. “Honestly Lena, you’re always so sceptical whenever I try and talk to you. Is it hard to believe I don’t have an ulterior motive?”

 

            “Well ... yeah,” Lena laughed slightly. “Plus, every time we talk it’s so you can criticise me.”

 

            Lillian scoffed at her words, rolling her eyes dramatically. “That is _not_ true.”

 

            “Yes it is!” Lena argued. “You either criticise what I’m wearing, or how I’m running the business, and now you’re even criticising my relationship.”

 

            Lillian was silent for a moment, before she sighed and tilted her head to the side as she looked at Lena. “Is it so hard to believe that I’m just looking out for you? That I want what’s best for my only living child?”

 

            Lena raised her eyebrows as she crossed her arms over her chest, still swivelling in her chair. She could almost see the muscles in Lillian’s jaw twitching in annoyance every time Lena spun the chair.

 

            “I’m trying to help you, Lena,” Lillian snapped when she realised she wasn’t going to get an answer. “I want you to look like you fit the part, I don’t want anyone to doubt that you’re not a good CEO, and I don’t want you to get hurt by your girlfriend who is in the _army_ , in case you forgot.”

 

            “No, I haven’t forgotten,” Lena replied icily. “But that’s up to me to decide if I can handle, so stay out of it.”

 

            Lillian backed down quickly, holding her hands up defensively. “Fine,” she said, “I’ll stay out of it. I have nothing against her as a person, of course, although she’s not the heiress or businesswoman I had envisioned for you.”

 

            “Do I really look like the kind of person who was ever going to settle for someone that would get your approval?” Lena snorted with laughter, and Lillian smiled slightly.

 

            “I can’t say that I disapprove entirely, I hardly know the girl. She’s pretty, I’ll give her that, and she seemed nice enough at the gala,” Lillian said. “I will say this though; she’s changed you, a lot. Perhaps more than you realise.”

 

            Lena arched an eyebrow at her mom. “Oh yeah? Would you care to enlighten me on how so?”

 

            “You seem happy,” Lillian told her, the harsh lines of her face softening momentarily, “and we’re having this conversation, which I think says it all.”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes, but there was truth to her mother’s words. Although she made the decision to keep in contact with her mother all on her own, she knew that Kara had brought down her walls slightly, and Lena found herself more open to letting people in. Hell, she’d even let Kara’s family in too.

 

            “Anyway,” Lena said, turning the conversation back to Lillian’s reason for coming. “I can’t do dinner tonight, I’m supposed to be having dinner with Kara’s sister and her girlfriend.”

 

            “Well why don’t you invite them too?” Lillian suggested. Lena raised her eyebrows in disbelief. How desperate was she? It seemed like she was trying too hard to make sure Lena was at dinner, and Lena wasn’t entirely sure why, but she didn’t trust her.

 

            “Why?”

 

            “Oh come on,” Lillian sighed. “First you say that I never loved you and never showed any interest in you, and now that I’m trying to show you that I _do_ care, you won’t meet me halfway.”

 

            Lena weighed her options for a moment, and Lillian interrupted her again. “Please? I don’t know when I’ll be back in town, and God knows you’re not going to visit _me_ ,” Lillian said.

 

            “Fine,” Lena said, giving in. “But I’ll have to ask them first. If they say no, I’m not cancelling my plans with them though.”

 

            “That’s fair,” Lillian agreed, smiling slightly. “If they say yes, shall we say we’ll meet at seven? I’ll message you the details once they’re arranged.” She picked her bag up off the floor and stood up, staring at her daughter for a moment before speaking.

 

            “Well, I’ll see you tonight, perhaps,” Lillian said, and Lena gave her a small nod. Turning around, Lillian showed herself out of the office as Lena watched her walk away with a slight frown forming a crease between her eyebrows. As soon as the door clicked shut, she picked up her phone.

 

            “Alex, I need help,” she said as soon as the call connected.

 

_“Well well, I always knew you’d come begging to me eventually. You’ve come to the right place,”_ Maggie replied, and Lena could envision the smirk on her face.

 

            “Maggie? Where the fuck is Alex?” Lena asked, ignoring the teasing.

 

_“She’s talking to Kara,”_ Maggie told her. _“Is everything okay? Anything I can help with?”_

            “My mom just asked me to have dinner with her tonight,” Lena explained. “I tried using dinner with you two tonight as a scapegoat but she told me to invite you too. Help.”

 

_“Dinner … with your mom?”_ Maggie asked, sounding confused.

 

            “Yes! Dinner, as in a three course meal at some fancy restaurant with no escape because I can’t make a scene in public,” Lena rambled.

 

_“A fancy restaurant, huh? I’m down for that,”_ Maggie told her.

 

            “No! You’re supposed to say that we can’t cancel our plans tonight,” Lena berated her.

 

_“Um, okay? We can’t cancel our plans tonight?”_ Maggie replied slowly.

 

            “Shit,” Lena swore, “now I feel bad.”

 

_“Listen, Luthor. If you go to dinner, you’ll have Alex and I to back you up, and I’m not above throwing a glass of wine in your mom’s face. I’ve actually always wanted to do that to someone, so I’m totally open to it. If you’re like, completely against going to dinner, then fuck her. Who cares right? So just pick whatever you want to do and Alex and I will see you later, okay?”_

 

            “Right. Yeah, of course,” Lena mumbled, nodding to herself as she took in Maggie’s words. “Thanks Maggie.”

 

_“Whatever. You better hang up because you’re about to get a call off Kara,”_ Maggie told her. Lena said goodbye and hung up on her, leaning back in her chair.

 

            A few minutes later, her laptop lit up with a video call off Kara, and Lena quickly accepted it, drawing her laptop closer to her.

 

_“Whoa, you look rough,”_ Kara smiled at her as the call connected. _“Beautiful, as always, but rough.”_

 

            “I blame Maggie for that,” Lena grumbled.

 

_“By the sounds of things, you didn’t need much encouragement,”_ Kara laughed, _“I especially loved the video of you singing on the karaoke machine. Absolutely nailed it, in my opinion.”_

 

            “Stop,” Lena whined, covering her face as she blushed. “It’s so embarrassing, and I haven’t even _watched_ it.”

 

_“It was adorable. I can watch it every time I miss you. So like, all the time,”_ Kara told her, smiling widely.

 

            “Oh great, the one video you have of me and it’s of me singing. Just great,” Lena sighed, shaking her head as she looked at Kara, trying not to smile.

 

_“Oh yeah! I got your care package today! I haven’t opened the letter yet because I thought I’d be best to save it for bedtime, otherwise I probably would be crying all day. The photos though; you were so cute! I assume that’s why you had dinner with your mom last week?”_

            “Ugh, yes,” Lena groaned, “and she wants me to have dinner with her again tonight. With Alex and Maggie too!”

 

_“Well that’s unexpected,”_ Kara said, her eyebrows rising in surprise. _“So you’ve decided to try and work things out?”_

 

            “I don’t know,” Lena sighed. “I mean, I said I’d keep in touch, and she leaves tomorrow. So I think I should give her one last chance whilst she’s here and see how that goes before I decide.”

 

_“Sounds reasonable,”_ Kara agreed.

 

            “I wish you were here though. I’d probably be on my best behaviour if you were at dinner with me. Maggie’s already planning a riot if things go south, so it’s going to be interesting,” Lena laughed.

 

_“Oh God, now I really wish I was there,”_ Kara smiled.

 

            They spoke for as long as they could; right up until the moment Kara had to go to bed. She reminded Lena that she still had to read her letter before going to sleep, and as much as they both wanted to keep talking, Kara really did need her sleep. Eventually, she hung up with an ‘I love you’ and a promise that she’d come home.

 

\---

 

            At seven o’clock, Lena walked into the Italian restaurant with Alex and Maggie in tow. She gave her name to the man at the front desk, and his eyes lit up with recognition, grabbing three menus and leading them through the restaurant and into one of the private rooms. Lillian looked up from the menu as they walked in, smiling slightly.

 

            “Ah, right on time,” she said, placing the menu down and rising slightly from her seat. “I’m glad you decided to come.”

 

            Lena nodded, and sat down opposite Lillian.

 

            “And you must be …” Lillian trailed off, holding her hand out towards Alex.

 

            “Alex Danvers,” she replied, shaking Lillian’s hand briefly, before taking the seat next to her.

 

            “So that means you’re Maggie,” Lillian said, shaking Maggie’s hand quickly, before sitting back down.

 

            “May I take your drink order?” the waiter asked, pulling out a notepad to take their order.

 

            “I’ll have a glass of the Bordeaux,” Lillian told him, “Château Canon, thank you.”

 

            “Make it the bottle,” Lena replied.

 

            “Um, yeah, the wine sounds good,” Alex agreed.

 

            Maggie looked up from her menu and smiled at him. “I’ll have scotch please, uh, the Chivas please.” He nodded, leaving them to decide on their meals.

 

            “So, I hear you work for the FBI, Alex,” Lillian said, turning to look at her.

 

            Lena let out a bark of laughter, “you _heard?_ From who? Your private investigator?”

 

            Lillian shot her a disapproving look. “No, actually one of the guests at the gala had a nice conversation with Alex and informed me on who my guest was.”

 

            “Um, yes, I'm a special agent,” Alex replied.

 

            “It must be a fascinating job. And what do you do, Maggie?” Lillian asked.

 

            “I’m a detective for the NCPD,” Maggie told her, flashing her dimples at Lillian.

 

            “Oh, well, it seems like you’re all in the business of keeping people safe,” Lillian said.

 

            “I guess so. I just prefer to do it from the safety of my home, unlike my sister,” Alex told her.

 

            Lillian smiled slightly. “Ah yes. It’s such a brave thing she’s doing. From what Lena’s told me, I take it she’s very good at her job.”

 

            “Well of course she is,” Lena said, rolling her eyes.

 

            Lillian ignored Lena, carrying on the conversation as if she hadn’t spoken. “And how long will she be gone for this time?”

 

            “Roughly nine months,” Alex told her.

 

            “She’ll have a lot of dwell time after that though, so the wait will be worth it,” Lena added, watching her mom’s expression closely. She still wasn’t sure that Lillian wouldn’t interfere in her relationship, and she wanted to see how far she could push her.

 

            “I’m sure you’re right,” Lillian agreed, looking past Lena as the waiter returned with their drinks. Lena warily looked at Lillian for a moment longer, until she was kicked in the shin, breaking her stare. She looked at Alex, who gave a her a warning look, and rolled her eyes, picking up her now full glass of wine and taking a sip. They all gave the waiter their orders for their entrées and mains, before handing the menus over.

 

            “Don’t worry yourself too much about Lena’s moodiness,” Lillian said to Alex as the waiter backed out of the room. “She always sulks when she’s forced to spend time with me. I’ve found it’s best to just ignore her bad manners.”

 

            Maggie bit back a smile as she looked at Lena, and Lena scowled at her, drinking some more of her wine. “So, Lena said you’re going back to Metropolis tomorrow?” Maggie asked politely. “What is it you do there?”

 

            “I used to be a practicing doctor before I was CEO of L-Corp for a while. I stepped down and let Lena take over, so now I’ve gone back to medicine. Research this time though,” Lillian explained.

 

            “Oh, my mom’s a doctor too,” Alex said, her eyebrows raising in surprise.

 

            Lena hadn’t told them anything about her mom, not finding it relevant to this evening. She hadn’t planned on Alex and Maggie engaging in idle conversation with her mom, but she had to admit, her mom was exceedingly polite throughout the entire meal. Lena also didn’t think any of Lillian’s comments were meant to be snide remarks, which was also surprising. Perhaps Lillian was being sincere.

 

            Lillian covered the cost for the meal, and Lena muttered her thanks as they left the restaurant. Her car was waiting for them right outside the door, alongside Lillian’s, and Alex and Maggie thanked Lillian again before getting into the car and giving Lena some privacy with her mother.

 

            “So,” Lena said, clearing her throat slightly.

 

            “So,” Lillian echoed, smiling slightly at her daughter. “Thank you … for coming tonight.”

 

            “Right,” Lena mumbled, looking down at the floor as she scuffed the pavement with her foot. “Um, thanks. It’s a nice restaurant.”

 

            “You should bring Kara here when she gets back,” Lillian told her, causing Lena to look up sharply. “Look, I know there’s a rift between us. I don’t know how to make you happy, but Kara, and these girls, they make you happy. That’s all I want for you. I don’t have an ulterior motive here, I promise you.”

 

            “Okay,” Lena muttered, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she looked up at Lillian. This time she actually believed Lillian.

 

            “Just … call me if you need anything, okay?” Lillian told her, her gaze softening.

 

            “Sure,” Lena said, nodding slightly and looking back down at her hands as she fidgeted. Lillian reached out and gently raised her chin with one hand, gently stroking Lena’s cheekbone with her thumb.

 

            “I do care about you, you know,” Lillian told her, before dropping her hand and walking over to her car. Lena stood there for a moment before opening her car door and sliding inside.

 

            “So … that went well,” Alex said, giving Lena a reassuring smile.

 

            “I’m surprised,” Lena laughed slightly. “She was actually not that much of a bitch tonight.”

 

            “Maybe you’re not the only Luthor who’s softening,” Maggie said with a laugh.

 

            “Fuck off, Sawyer,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “Just because I’m dating Kara doesn’t mean I’ve gone _that_ warm and fuzzy.”

 

            “True,” Maggie agreed, “you still haven’t given me that private jet ride.”

 

            “Oh fuck’s sake!” Lena swore. “You and this stupid jet. When do you want to go? Just pick a time and you can go, if only so you stop whining about it.”

 

            “See! The ice queen is melting!” Maggie exclaimed, pointing at Lena as she turned to look at Alex. Lena flipped her off as she rolled her eyes.

 

\---

 

            Lena dropped them off at Alex’s place, declining Alex’s invitation to stay and going home to her own apartment. It was quiet when she walked inside, and the place felt cold without the company of someone else. It didn’t feel like home anymore, and Lena was upset, having gone to great extents to make the place feel comfortable and warm.

 

            Perhaps she would get a dog after all. Maybe just a small one.


	28. Chapter 28

            It was almost lunchtime on Thursday, and Lena had come home from the office early, and as she walked into her empty apartment, the loneliness hit her again. She hovered just inside the doorway of her apartment, before she stepped back out into the hallway and fished her phone out of her pocket.

 

            “Sawyer,” she said as soon as Maggie picked up the phone. “I need your help.”

 

_“With what?”_ Maggie asked, her tone serious for once.

 

            “I need you to take me to an animal shelter,” Lena told her, smiling at the muffled shout of enthusiasm on the other end. Maggie promised she’d be there as soon as possible before hanging up, and Lena walked downstairs to wait for her outside.

 

\---

 

            “Okay, so what kind of dog are we talking?” Maggie asked as they walked into the animal shelter.

 

            “I don’t know. A small one?” Lena said, unsure as she spoke. “Like a lapdog? One that’s like comforting.”

 

            “For fuck’s sake, Luthor, you’re not getting some prissy posh girl’s dog. You’re not Paris Hilton,” Maggie said, rolling her eyes.

 

            “I mean, technically I’m richer than her, but whatever,” Lena smirked at Maggie, who rolled her eyes.

 

            They were greeted by a staff member and spent a few moments answering some questions about Lena’s situation to help find out what kind of dog would be suitable for her. After filling out some details, they were taken back through to rows and rows of cages full of dogs, and Lena’s heart sank at the sight of so many abandoned animals.

 

            “How am I supposed to just pick _one_?” Lena said to Maggie, frowning slightly.

 

            “That is also one of the reasons why Alex never let Kara and I come here,” Maggie laughed. “We’d probably come home with five each and Alex would probably kill us and dump our bodies down by the docks.”

 

            “You know, sometimes I’m not sure if you’re joking or not,” Lena murmured, and Maggie laughed as she peered into the first cage.

 

            “What about a corgi?” Maggie asked, “they’re not too small but they’re also not like, the lamest dogs ever.”

 

            “Who am I? The queen of England?” Lena said, rolling her eyes.

 

            They spent the better part of two hours debating the pros and cons of dogs, until Lena finally found one and Maggie gave her approval. They ended up stuffed in Maggie’s car with Lena’s new dog, and a thousand toys and products for the dog.

 

\---

 

            “Hi!” Lena smiled widely as Kara’s face appeared on the screen on Lena’s tablet.

 

_“Uh oh, what’s happened?”_ Kara replied, smiling as she took in Lena’s wide smile.

 

            “So, um, it’s completely Maggie’s fault. You know how it’s always her fault, right? So, anyway, I might have taken her advice and … adopted a dog,” Lena said, trying to look innocent.

 

_“You got a_ dog _?”_ Kara repeated, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise. _“_ You _got a_ dog _? I thought you were joking when you said you were going to get one.”_

 

            “Mhm, I didn’t really think I’d do it. Do you want to see her?” Lena asked, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

 

_“Um is that a trick question? Of course I do! I love dogs!”_ Kara smiled, finding Lena’s excitement contagious, even through the screen. Not that she needed any help. Considering the fact that Kara was a walking ball of sunshine, practically bursting with excitement. Lena flipped the camera around and focused it on the dog laying in the basket.

 

_“Lena, that’s not a dog. That’s a_ horse,” Kara laughed, as she looked at the curled German Shepherd chewing on a bone.

 

            “I know,” Lena said, wrinkling her nose slightly as she flipped the camera back around to herself. “I told Maggie I wanted a small lapdog but then I saw her and I couldn’t help myself … and Maggie agreed, so, again … her fault not mine.”

 

            Kara laughed, clapping a hand over her mouth. _“I’m shocked. I didn’t expect this kind of spontaneity from you.”_

 

            “Sorry, maybe I should’ve asked you first. Are you okay with having a dog? Like, when we move in together is it going to be a problem?” Lena asked, her forehead furrowing with worry.

 

_“No, of course not!”_ Kara assured her. _“I love dogs! I’m sure I’ll love her when I meet her. I know you wouldn’t get a dog unless you were sure it was the right fit. What’s her name?”_

 

            “Oo! This is the best part, and basically the whole reason why I gave in and got a horse dog,” Lena said excitedly. “So, her name is Athena.”

 

_“Athena?”_ Kara echoed.

 

            “Yeah! Like the Greek goddess of wisdom and battle strategy, because guess what? She’s a military trained dog! How perfect is that? Well almost; she didn’t complete her training, which is why she was at the shelter. So I just had to take her home,” Lena explained, smiling widely at Kara, feeling proud of herself.

 

_“It sounds like she was made exactly for us,”_ Kara said, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiled at Lena.

 

            “Right!” Lena agreed enthusiastically.

 

            Kara laughed softly at her enthusiasm. _“I’ve never seen you this excited before. I like it.”_

 

            “I guess we can cross ‘Lena’s first dog’ off your list,” she told Kara with a smile.

 

_“I’m not going to come home and find out you’ve turned your apartment into an animal shelter, am I?”_ Kara asked, arching an eyebrow.

 

            Lena let out a short laugh. “No, I think one dog is more than enough. Especially a big dog. I might have to up Jess’ pay to get her to take Athena on walks for me. I figured that when you get home you can take her on your jogs with you.”

 

_“Sounds perfect,”_ Kara agreed.

 

            “So, how was your day?” Lena asked, taking in the dark circles under Kara’s eyes. She looked tired and Lena was concerned.

 

_“Yeah, it was good. Nothing too exciting today,”_ Kara told her, giving Lena a weary smile.

 

            “Just the way I like it,” Lena said with a smile. “You look tired though. Have you been sleeping okay?”

 

_“I’m fine. It’s nothing,”_ Kara said, trying to reassure her. It didn’t work though. Lena saw straight through her fake optimism, knowing what Kara’s real smile looked like.

 

            “What’s wrong?” Lena asked, a feeling of panic growing inside her as her mind thought about every possible bad thing that could have happened.

 

_“Really it’s nothing, just some trouble with the soldiers. It’s not as easy as it seems in training when you get out here with dozens of people under your command. I swear I’ve never yelled so much in my life. Obviously with the guys they don’t like being bossed around by a woman, so a lot of them think they can get away with disobeying orders.”_

 

            Lena listened sympathetically whilst Kara ranted for the next ten minutes about the soldiers in her platoon, and how insufferable they were. She only stopped talking when they were interrupted by a soldier barging in.

 

_“Lieutenant,”_ the man said hesitantly.

 

_“Out!”_ Kara barked, not even turning around, and Lena’s eyes widened at her tone. She’d never heard Kara shout before, not seriously.

 

_“Lieutenant! ma’am-,”_ the man said again, causing Kara to whirl around.

 

_“Soldier! Do I have to repeat myself?”_ Kara yelled. _“Outside! Or I’ll make sure you’re running laps around camp all night instead of sleeping! Have I made-”_

 

            She was cut off by a loud booming sound that caused the camera on her tablet to shake. Kara snapped into action, whirling back around to the camera as she picked up her rifle. Her face had gone pale, and her eyes widened as she looked at Lena.

 

            “Kara, what was that?” Lena asked, her own face turning white as all the blood drained out of it in fear.

 

_“Lena, I have to go. I’m sorry, I’ll call you as soon as possible. I love you,”_  Kara rushed out, a flicker on panic crossing her face.

 

            “Wha-, I love you,” Lena said quickly, realising there wasn’t much time to say anything else. The call was cut off without another word, and Lena sat there frozen for a moment. She stared down at the dark screen of her tablet, as terror overtook her and she let out a choked up sob. Her panic got the better of her, and she sat there breathing rapidly as she tried to calm herself down.

 

            Her first thought went to Alex.

 

            Alex would know what to do. She just had to go and see Alex and she would calm her down. It would be okay.

 

            She stood up quickly, causing Athena to prick her ears up as she stood to attention. Lena rushed around the apartment, pulling on a coat over her pyjamas and slipping on some shoes. She picked up the leash she’d dropped on the counter and whistled for Athena to come over.

 

            They were downstairs a few moments later, and Lena slid into the driver’s seat. She rarely used her own car, but right now, she had to get to Alex’s apartment as soon as possible.

 

\---

 

            Lena banged on the door to Alex’s apartment, and when there wasn’t an immediate answer, she banged again, not stopping until Alex yanked the door open with an irritated look on her face.

 

            “Oh, it’s you,” Alex said with surprise. “It’s the middle of the day, what are you wearing? Whose dog is that?”

 

            “Something’s happened,” Lena said breathlessly, on the verge of tears, as she walked inside with Athena. “I was talking to Kara and th-there were these loud noises. Like bombs. She said she had to go. I don’t know what’s happening.”

 

            Her eyes filled with tears that Lena willed not to fall, and her hand shook as she ran it through her hair.

 

            “Shit. Fuck. Oh God,” Alex said, looking as if she’d just been kicked in the stomach. She took a few deep breaths as she paced back and forth. “No. No, no, no. She’s fine. This has happened before. It’s going to be okay.”

 

            Lena nodded as she stood there silently, trying to calm herself down too. “Right. Yeah, she’s fine. She’ll probably call back soon, right?” Lena asked, looking at Alex with a hopeful look on her face. To her surprise, Alex broke down crying, collapsing onto her sofa as she put her head in her hands. Lena stood there in shock, not knowing how to react. The tears in her eyes welled over, as she told herself it must be bad if Alex was crying.

 

            She jumped as Alex let out an angry yell. “Fuck! I told her! I told her not to go back! I’m going to kill her when she comes home, I swear to God.”

 

            Alex’s shout tore Lena out of her frozen state, and she quickly dropped the dog leash and sad down next to Alex. For the first time, Lena realised how hard this was for her. Alex had been trying to keep it together, for Lena’s sake, and for the sake of keeping up appearances. She was always the tough sister in the family.

 

            Last time, Lena and Alex had both pretended to ignore the other’s crying, knowing that neither of them wanted to make a fuss about it. But this time, Lena wrapped one of her arms around Alex, drawing her closer. She half expected Alex to resist, and was surprised when she let Lena pull her into her arms without fighting.

 

            Lena held her close until she stopped crying, stamping down her own fear and panic for the time being. If she fell to pieces too it wouldn’t help either of them. Right now, she just had to try and stay calm, and wait for Kara to call her back. Alex pushed herself upright, and Lena kept one arm slung across her shoulders as they sat there side by side.

 

            “I’m sorry,” Alex said hoarsely, looking embarrassed at breaking down. “I think that it’ll get easier the more times she goes, but I just spend the entire time panicking, you know? I meant it when I said she’ll be okay. I’m just-, I’m just stressed. Ignore me.”

 

            “Don’t apologise. I know you’ve been trying to be strong, but it’s okay to not be. You love your sister, of course you’re worried. You’ve had to deal with this longer than I have and I’m barely keeping it together myself,” Lena said quietly, rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of her coat.

 

            “I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have come over, I just- I didn’t know what to do. You’re the only person I can come to with this, and I thought you’d want to know, but maybe I should’ve just waited it out,” Lena mumbled.

 

            “No,” Alex firmly told her. “No, you were right. If anything ever happens to her we tell each other, okay? Don’t wait to find out if she’s okay first.”

 

            Lena nodded, pausing slightly before continuing. “Sh-should you call your mom?”

 

            Alex sighed, running one hand through her hair. “Yeah. I’ll call her in a minute.”

 

            “I’ll, um, make some coffee I guess,” Lena said, standing up and pulling her coat off before she walked into the kitchen. She busied herself with the coffee pot, listening the the quiet conversation Alex was having with Eliza on the phone. Her tone was calm and reassuring; a stark contrast to how she had been only minutes earlier.

 

            Lena walked over with two cups, handing one off to Alex as she hung up the phone. She mumbled her thanks, and sipped the coffee. “My mum’s going to come and stay for a few days,” Alex told her, and Lena nodded. Of course Eliza would come to stay with Alex. Lena couldn’t help but think about how awful it would be to be in Midvale worrying about Kara alone.

 

            Athena walked over, dragging her leash behind her, and sat at Lena’s feet, wagging her tail as she looked up with big, brown eyes. “What’s with the dog?” Alex asked again, reaching out to scratch her behind the ears.

 

            “Maggie and I went to the animal shelter on her lunch break. Her name’s Athena,” Lena explained.

 

            “Cute,” Alex mumbled, smiling slightly.

 

            Lena pulled her phone out of her pocket and stared down at the screen hopefully, suppressing her worry as she looked at the blank screen. Kara’s advice came back to her and she murmured it quietly.

 

            “No news is good news.”

 

            Alex looked up and smiled, “she fed you that line too, huh? She’s not wrong though, every time my mom and I have been sick out of our mind’s when she hasn’t been able to call, it’s always turned out okay. So there’s some logic to that.”

 

            Lena gave her a small smile, trying to keep herself calm. Kara hadn’t seemed scared, but then again, this probably wasn’t the first time this had happened either.

 

\---

  
            Later on that night, there was a knock on the door. Alex leapt up to answer it, opening the door to reveal Eliza. She wrapped her mom in a hug, holding her tightly as they had a mumbled conversation too low for Lena to hear. Lena smiled as Athena trotted over, wagging her tail excitedly as she waited for Eliza to give her some attention. Pulling back, Eliza walked inside and crouched down to pet the dog, before she looked across the room, meeting Lena’s gaze.

 

            “Lena! How are you honey?” Eliza smiled at her, crossing the room. Lena stood up and let Eliza wrap her in a comforting hug.

 

            “I’m okay. It’s good to see you again. How are you?” Lena asked, pulling back and giving Eliza a warm smile.

 

            Eliza sighed, giving Lena a smile that was more of a grimace as she pushed Lena’s hair out of her face. “I’ll be fine once I know my little girl is safe. Are you sure you’re okay, sweetie? You look tired.”

 

            “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just been working late nights,” Lena explained. All nighters weren’t uncommon for Lena, but since Kara had gone back, she’d found herself staying up all night more and more often.

 

            “Coffee, mom?” Alex asked, picking up hers and Lena’s empty mugs and taking them to the kitchen to refill.

 

            “Sure. When does Maggie get off work?” Eliza asked, sitting down on the sofa and scratching Athena under her chin.

 

            “Um, in an hour,” Alex answered, quickly glancing down at her watch as she carefully carried the three cups over to the sofa.

 

            “So did you finally give in and let her get a dog?” Eliza asked, smiling at Alex.

 

            “Um, no, she’s mine actually,” Lena answered with a smile. “ _I_ finally gave in to Maggie making _me_ get a dog. We picked her out at the shelter today. I only went it to get a lapdog but Kara said I came out with a horse.” Eliza quietly laughed as she stroked the dog.

 

\---

 

            Maggie came over after she finished work, and Alex quietly filled her in on the situation with Kara. They ordered Chinese for dinner, and Eliza caught up on everything that they hadn’t told her over the phone. It was late by the time everyone went to bed. They had stayed up hoping that they would receive a call off Kara, but there was nothing.

 

            Lena had intended to go home to her apartment, but Alex had convinced her to stay instead. If Kara rang it would be better if they were all there so they could all talk to her, and see that she was safe for themselves. After a quiet argument, where Lena insisted that Eliza stay in Kara’s room and Eliza protested, Lena made herself up a bed on the sofa, and Athena climbed up, laying along the side of Lena and resting her head on Lena’s stomach.

 

            Sleep didn’t come quickly, and Lena found herself staring up at the ceiling in the dark, and when sleep eventually came it was fitful and full of bad dreams that woke Lena up shaking. She was grateful when morning came and she could get up.

 

            Over breakfast, everyone talked as if things were normal, and Maggie fed Athena scraps of bacon. Lena decided she wasn’t going to go into the office today; she’d rather mope around her apartment and wait for a call off Kara. Alex and Maggie still had work though, which meant that Eliza would be alone.

 

            “Um, I’m not going to go into work today, if you’d like to come to my apartment,” Lena told Eliza as she cut up her food.

 

            “That would be great,” Eliza smiled at her. “Thank you.”

 

            “We can go out for lunch or something,” Lena suggested.

 

            “That sounds lovely. Maybe we can take Athena for a walk,” Eliza said with a smile as she leant down to rub her behind the ears. “Would you like that, huh?”

 

            Tail wagging, Athena let out an excited bark, and Alex winced slightly at the noise. “I really hope no one heard that or I’m going to have some explaining to do,” she said, sighing slightly.

 

            “Oh right, the no pets rule,” Lena remembered. “Um about that. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this.” Alex raised an eyebrow at her as she waited for Lena to elaborate.

 

            “So you know how I said I own a lot of real estate? Well I’m currently in the middle of buying your apartment off the landlord … and the rest of the building. I don’t know if you got a memo about that or whatever, but I thought it’d make it easier for you to move out because then you wouldn’t have to pay rent on this place or move out,” Lena explained cautiously. She wasn’t sure whether she should have interfered or not.

 

            “Wait, _you’re_ the new landlady?” Alex asked incredulously.

 

            “Surprise,” Lena said lamely, holding her hands out in a helpless gesture.

 

            “That’s actually perfect,” Maggie said, smiling widely at Alex.

 

            “Yeah,” Eliza agreed, “it’s the answer to all your problems.”

 

            “Well that was thoughtful of you,” Alex said, blinking in surprise. “Thank you.”

 

            “You’re not pissed?” Lena asked, frowning slightly in confusion.

 

            “No? Why?” Alex asked, sounding puzzled.

 

            Lena shrugged slightly. “I wasn’t sure if you would appreciate me meddling in your private life.”

 

            “I mean, you bought the entire building so it’s obviously an investment, and mom’s right, it answers our moving in together problem … so thanks.”

 

            “Um, yeah, well it’s no problem,” Lena shrugged, giving her a small smile.

 

            They finished eating, and Lena helped Eliza clean up whilst Alex and Maggie got ready for work. Once they were both ready, Lena clipped Athena’s leash onto her collar, and put her coat and shoes on, before saying goodbye and walking downstairs with Eliza.

 

            Lena felt slightly self-conscious as her and Eliza walked to her car. It was expensive of course, one of the best money could buy, but Lena didn’t want Eliza to think she was a show off who liked flashing her money around. Hopefully she wouldn’t think that about Lena’s apartment either.

 

            Just inside the door to Lena’s building, she stopped to collect her mail whilst Eliza walked over to the elevator, holding Athena’s leash for Lena. As Lena walked over, she saw that Eliza had pushed the button for the other elevator and she awkwardly pointed to the other.

 

            “Um, this one is, uh, my elevator,” Lena explained, pushing the button.

 

            “A private elevator?” Eliza asked, raising her eyebrows slightly, and Lena ducked her head, shrugging slightly as the doors slid open. The ride to the penthouse was quick, and Lena opened the door to her apartment, waving Eliza in ahead of her.

 

            “This place is beautiful,” Eliza said, looking around the massive apartment with awe.

 

            “Oh, um, thank you,” Lena replied, unclipping the dog leash and slipping her coat off. “Please, make yourself at home. Can I get you some coffee or tea?”

 

            “Coffee would be great sweetheart,” Eliza smiled at her, taking a seat at the dining table. Lena put on some coffee to brew before she fetched a tin of dog food and fed Athena, who was wagging her tail with excitement as she patiently waited.

 

            Lena walked over to the table and handed Eliza a cup, before putting hers down on the table. “I’m just going to go and take a shower and get changed,” Lena told her.

 

            “Okay sweetie,” Eliza smiled up at her.

 

            “Feel free to have a look around if you want,” Lena told her, smiling back at her before disappearing down the hallway to her room.

 

            She felt a little better after her shower and once she was wearing clean clothes. Wandering back out to the kitchen, she picked her coffee up off the table and took a sip, before going to find Eliza.

 

            Lena found her in the study, holding the photo frame with the picture of Kara from when they went on their picnic. Eliza smiled up at her when she walked in, placing the frame back on Lena’s desk.

 

            “She’s always been so beautiful. So kind and warm,” Eliza said, picking up her coffee and walking over to Lena. She reached out and took Lena’s hand in her own, giving it a quick squeeze before dropping it. “I’m glad she has you to share that with now.”

 

            Lena smiled back wryly, “well I’m grateful for it. I’ve been told I’ve changed because of her. She must be rubbing off on me.”

 

            Eliza followed her out of the office and shut the door behind her. “I can’t speak for who you were before, but I think she couldn’t have found anyone better. You’ve changed her too, you know.”

 

            “Really?” Lena asked, surprised to hear it.

 

            “Mhm. She was so shut off when I first saw her. I was her doctor after the fire happened, I’m not sure if she told you that. She was so quiet after that, but then she adapted to her new family, and we couldn’t help but love her. Of course, she was always warm and optimistic, but she’s never had anyone to share that with. I think you've grounded her a little, she's ready to settle down and think about things rationally. I think sometimes she can be a bit naïve, or too optimistic, and that used to push people away,” Eliza explained.

 

            “I guess I push people away for the opposite reasons,” Lena said, laughing quietly to herself. “Or I used to.”

 

            They sat down at the table, and Lena stared down at her mug as she felt Eliza stare at her closely. “You love her don’t you? Unconditionally?” Eliza asked, and Lena looked up quickly, blinking in surprise.

 

             “I-, well, yes, I do,” Lena mumbled, feeling her cheeks warm as she admitted her feelings to Eliza. Lena was silent for a moment as she thought about how much she actually truly loved Kara. It was probably more than she could even show her. The weight of all of Lena’s worrying came crashing down on her, and she let out a heavy sigh, feeling exhausted and upset.

 

            “I’m scared that she won’t come home,” Lena whispered, looking up at Eliza.

 

            “Me too,” Eliza said, giving Lena a sad smile, her lips quivering slightly as her eyes took on a glassy sheen from the tears that started welling up. “I hate that she keeps going back. Every time she comes home I’m so grateful to have her back, and the she leaves again and it breaks my heart every time.”

 

            “I thought you said it gets easier,” Lena said, choking on her laugh as she felt the sadness settle in.

 

            “I lied,” Eliza told her, laughing as she wiped at her eyes. “It never gets easier; you just get used to it. You get used to worrying about her non-stop, and waiting for the calls, and pretending like you’re holding it together okay. It doesn’t get easier though, but I wasn’t going to tell you that when you were already heartbroken about her leaving.”

 

            “Thanks,” Lena mumbled. She hated being lied to, but in this one instance, she was grateful for it. She didn’t think she would have been able to say goodbye to her, knowing that it would never get easier. At least she’d had a few weeks to adapt to life without Kara by her side at every possible moment.

 

            “She’ll be okay,” Eliza reassured Lena as much as herself. “My girl is tough; all of you are.” Lena nodded, clutching her coffee in her hands as she tried to tell herself that Eliza was right. It didn’t matter how many times someone told her Kara would be okay though, she wouldn’t believe it until Kara told her herself.

 

            Lena drained her coffee and walked over to the kitchen, placing the cup on the counter, before turning her attention to the pile of mail she’d brought in with her. She flipped through them with little interest, until she got to the one with familiar handwriting. Kara.

 

            Tearing the envelope open, Lena pulled out the paper as she walked over to the table.

 

            “Another letter off her, huh?” Eliza asked, giving Lena a small smile. “Do you want me to leave you to read it along?”

 

            “No, it’s fine,” Lena assured her, smiling at her before turning her attention to the pieces of paper in her hands. Eliza got up and went over to the coffee pot, refilling both of their cups and bringing Lena’s back over for her. Mumbling her thanks, Lena stared down at the start of the letter.

 

 

_To my darling Lena,_

_I’m running out of cute normal ways to address you in our letters, I’m going to have to come up with some more. I know you hate cheesy nicknames, but you’re going to have to suck it up because I have some good ones._

_Today was actually a good day. One of my soldiers misplaced his canteen for the second time so I sent him off looking for it all over camp for three hours asking everyone and thing if they had seen it. It might not sound like fun to you, but I can assure you, watching an adult man ask a car, a rock and a gun if they had seen his canteen is highly amusing when you’re stuck in the middle of the desert. Can you believe my idea of fun has gone from movie dates and bowling with you to ordering stupid people to do even stupider things?_

_I miss you a lot right now because I’m writing this outside with a flashlight as I look up at the stars. You were right by the way, they’re the same here as they are back home. I never thought I’d find Orion’s Belt comforting, but it is. You won’t be looking up at it at the same time as me though, it’s only early in the afternoon there. I hope you remembered to eat lunch. Or more like I hope Jess remembered to bring you your lunch because I know you’d forget otherwise._

_I can’t tell you much, but there’s talk of some big operations and I don’t want you to worry. I know I’m in infantry, which means I get put in a lot of tough situations, but things are going well this time around. I don’t think I’ve ever been further away from the fighting in all of my deployments as I am now. I hope you take some comfort in that._

_In case you haven’t realised, it’s already been a month. You probably have realised because, well, it’s you. But that means I’m one month closer to coming home to you! One month closer to seeing your face and holding onto you as tight as humanly possible. I know there’s roughly eight months to go, but just think about how fast the last month has gone. Okay, that’s a bit of a reach, because I know for me it’s kind of dragged. I miss you more than ever, but I’m getting used to the idea of not waking up next to you every morning. That’s something I’ll never take for granted ever again._

_I should probably get to sleep now, or most likely I’ll be the one being shouted in the morning, instead of me doing the shouting. I miss you and love you with my whole heart. Please, wait for me to come home._

_Yours always,_

_Kara x_

 

 

            Lena smiled, wiping her slightly damp eyes as she folded the pieces of paper up and placed them back in the envelope. Eliza reached out and rubbed her arm in a soothing manner and Lena looked up at her, giving her a wide smile.

 

            “She rambles so much, I can picture her saying it,” Lena said with a laugh, and Eliza joined in, agreeing with her.

 

\---

 

            They ended up taking Athena for a walk in the park, stopping at Lena and Kara’s café for lunch before returning to Lena’s apartment. The rest of the afternoon was spent talking about whatever topic came up as they watched whatever caught their attention on TV. Really they were just thinking about Kara, but Lena learnt a lot more about Eliza as they talked, and she was grateful for the chance to get to know her better.

 

            That night, they went back to Alex’s apartment, and Lena found herself sleeping fitfully on the sofa again. She was having another bad dream. Another one about bombs being dropped, and Kara standing in the middle of the desert as they rained down around her, vibrating as they fell.

 

            Lena jerked awake, realising she wasn’t dreaming the vibrating. Her phone dimly lit up Alex’s living room as it rang, and Lena scrambled up off the sofa, tripping over her feet in her hurry to answer her phone.

 

            Kara.

 

            She let out a sob at the name lighting up her screen, a wave of relief washing over her. Quickly, Lena swiped to answer the call, letting out another sob. She was in tears by the time Kara’s face appeared on the screen.

 

_“Lena!”_ Kara said, her shoulders sagging in relief at the sight of her.It was bright behind Kara, the middle of the day by the looks of things, which Lena realised made it around four in the morning.

 

            “Kara! Oh God, oh my God, you’re okay. You’re okay. You are okay, right?” Lena sobbed, her fingers trembling as they hovered over her screen, gently tracing Kara’s face.

 

_“I’m fine,”_ Kara croaked, her voice hoarse. _“I’m just tired.”_

 

            And she looked it too. She was covered in black smudges of dirt and sand, and there were dark circled under her eyes, but she was smiling widely at Lena.

 

            “Never do that to me again,” Lena choked out, trying to be firm, but the threat fell short as her voice broke and tears streamed down her cheeks. “I know it wasn’t your fault, but _never_ do that again. We’ve been worried sick. Hold on, let me wake Alex and your mom up.”

 

_“Oh so my mom is there? I figured she’d come and stay when Alex told her. They do that every time I go incognito,”_ Kara said with a small laugh.

 

            “ _Incognito?_ Don’t you fucking laugh, Kara Danvers. I’ve been out of my mind. You’ve had us all in tears,” Lena whispered, smiling despite herself. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so relieved in all her life.

 

            Lena knocked on Alex’s bedroom door, before knocking on Kara’s door too. A few moments later, they both opened, and the light from Lena’s phone lit up Alex and Eliza’s faces as they looked out, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. They both realised it was Kara on the phone, and let out sounds of relief as they stepped out of the bedrooms and crowded around the phone. Everyone took turns scolding her and telling her how relieved they were, and soon everyone forgot what they had even been worried about in the first place. It seemed silly now that they were speaking to Kara.

 

            Kara explained that their had been an attack at their camp, with a couple of bombs going off. Injuries were few, and casualties were even less, but still, they were all worried to know that Kara could have been one of the casualties, or injured for that matter. Needless to say, they were all grateful she was unscathed, and that was all that mattered right now.

 

            Eventually Kara had to go back to work, and they all said their goodbyes. Lena made sure to tell Kara how much she loved her at least five times, thinking back to when she’d only had a moment to say goodbye. She never wanted to be caught off guard like that again.

 

            Even though she didn’t get to talk to Kara as much as she would have liked, Lena felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off her chest, and she gratefully sank into a peaceful sleep, uninterrupted by bad dreams.

 

            Kara was safe.


	29. Chapter 29

Eliza stayed for a few more days, before returning to Midvale and her patients. Lena had spent a lot of time at Alex’s place whilst Eliza was there, keeping her company whilst Alex was at work. Before leaving, Eliza made Lena promise again that she would come to Midvale with Alex and Maggie, and Lena agreed that she would.

 

She spoke to Kara at every possible moment, and she would end up having to force Kara to hang up and go to sleep. Lena suspected that Kara felt guilty about disappearing for two days, even if it wasn’t her fault, and she was trying to make up for it by spending all of her free time talking to her family.

 

By the end of the following week, everyone had relaxed slightly, feeling like the danger had passed for the time being. Kara was safe for now and everyone could breathe a little easier. Feeling less stressed, and less likely to break down doing it, Lena was sat behind her desk, trying to write a letter back to Kara.

 

 

_To my sweet darling angel Kara,_

_Well two can play at that game my dear. If you want cheesy nicknames, then I’ll give you cheesy nicknames, honey. I just wish you were here so I could call you them myself, sweetheart. I miss you more every single day – or every single moment that passes my buttercup._

_To be honest, I’m terrified. This is the first time in my life that I’ve ever known real fear. It wasn’t even two days, yet they were the worst two days of my life. You know I’ve never been an optimist, so of course my mind went straight to the worst thing I could imagine. I hope I never have to feel that way again. More importantly, I hope you never have to go through anything like that again, because without a doubt, it would have been a thousand times worse for you to live through what was happening. I can’t help but wish I was next to you, so I could hold you in my arms and never let you go, my little pancake (is that a term of endearment? How do people say these things seriously?). Perhaps I should enlist in the army too, wouldn’t that be a sight._

_I’m going to visit your mom in a couple of weeks, with Alex and Maggie. I’m grateful for your family, and I know you can understand it when I say how wonderful they are. I’m grateful to you too, for giving me the chance to understand what it’s like to have a real family with people who care about you. I don’t know if I told you that before, but I really am thankful for them, and to you. More than ever. I don’t think you understand how much you’ve changed me._

_In fact, you’ve changed me so much that I’ve actually decided to visit my mom when I go to Metropolis for the launch. I know you’ll understand how big of a deal this is for me – I haven’t been home since I was eighteen. I’ve only just decided this, so I’m sure I’ll tell you when we talk next, but I just want you to know that you have turned my world upside down and I don’t know if I can go back to the way it was before. In fact, I know I can’t and I don’t want to. So please, never scare me like that again._

_I know I tell you this every time, but please, just keep your head down. Make it back to me. Please just come home safely. I love you more than all the stars in the sky (that’s cheesy too, right?)._

_Love always,_

_Lena x_

_P.S. This is without a doubt the sappiest thing I’ve ever written in my life, and I know I said two could play at this game, but please don't make me do this more than once._

_P.P.S. Mention this to Maggie and I’m breaking up with you (not really but I can’t think of a good threat so just go with it)_

Lena carefully folded the pieces of paper and slid them into an envelope, writing Kara’s name on the front with a flourish. She would get Jess to mail it later, along with the latest care package she put together for Kara. For now, she had a phone call to make.

 

Picking up her phone, Lena scrolled through her contacts, her thumb hesitating before she pressed call. It was answered on the second ring.

 

_“Lena?”_ Lillian’s voice came through, full of surprise and concern. _“Is everything okay?”_

 

“Um, hi mom,” Lean said after a slight pause. She was wondering if she was making a mistake, but then pushed her doubts aside. The worst that could happen would be that she just went back to ignoring Lillian again. She’d been through it before; she could handle it again.

 

“Everything’s okay. I, um, need your help with something,” Lena admitted, feeling slightly guilty. She always accused Lillian of only caring about her when she wanted something, yet here she was, using her mom for her own gain.

 

_“Anything,”_ Lillian said eagerly.

 

“It’s for L-Corp. Apparently they’re ready to launch the latest operating system. I, uh, was going to come to Metropolis a few days before the launch to approve everything. I was thinking that maybe you’d like to, uh, come and check it out for yourself too,” Lena quickly explained.

 

_“You want my input?”_ Lillian asked slowly.

 

“Yes. I’d like a second opinion,” Lena told her.

 

_“Of course, I’d be happy to give it,”_ Lillian said. _“The launch is next Friday. When will you be coming?”_

 

“Monday. Tomorrow morning,” Lena replied.

 

_“Will-, ah, would … would you like to stay at home whilst you’re here? Or were you going to stay at your apartment?”_ Lillian asked hesitantly.

 

“Home? Oh … well I just thought I’d have my apartment made up for me,” Lena said, surprised at Lillian’s question.

 

_“Right. Of course. I just-, I know it’s hard for you to be in this house, but … if you wanted to, you could always stay here. If you don’t want to be alone.”_

 

Lena hesitated a second. She associated her childhood home with so many bad memories. She’d come home on the school holiday’s and sit in her room, reading books or tinkering with the various electronics in her room. The sounds of raised voices downstairs were dulled as they drifted to her room, so she could avoid the fighting for the most part. Still, she felt isolated in such a big house, and she was hesitant to accept Lillian’s offer. Yet, at the same time, Lillian was right; Lena didn’t want to be alone. She had been alone for so long, and then along came Kara, and now she hated the time she spent by herself in her empty apartment. At least over the course of the past week she’d come home to a wagging tail and excited footsteps running towards the door as she unlocked it.

 

“Um, I-, well I’m not sure,” Lena said slowly. “I-, perhaps I can try.”

 

_“You will?”_ Lillian said, sounding shocked. _“I-, that would mean a lot. If things … if you want to leave, you can.”_

“Yeah,” Lena mumbled in agreement. “Well, I, uh, should probably get back to work. I need to finish some paperwork before tomorrow.”

 

_“Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Bye,”_ Lillian said. Lena mumbled her own goodbye before hanging up the phone and letting out a breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding, all of the tension fading away as she leant back in her seat.

 

Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

 

\---

 

Lena attached the dog leash to Athena’s collar, before picking up her bag and walking over to the door as it opened. The flight to Metropolis hadn’t been that long, and the thought of returning to her childhood home had her wishing it had been longer.

 

A car was waiting for her on the runway, and the driver opened the door for her, whilst an attendant fetched her case off the plane and loaded it into the trunk. Lena fidgeted nervously in the back seat of the car, until, sensing her nervousness, Athena laid down and put her head in Lena’s lap. Laughing quietly, Lena scratched the dog behind her ears. She was surprised by how quickly she’d become attached to her, and Lena finally understood why having a dog was every child’s dream. The only experience she’d had with dogs whilst growing up was with hunting or guard dogs, and the ones her father kept weren’t exactly friendly.

 

Lena grew tenser the closer they drew towards the house. The car slowed as they approached the gates to her family’s estate, and Lena glanced out the window. She couldn’t see the house yet, they were too far away and the tree-lined driveway hid it from her view.

 

The gates slid open, and the driver drove through, winding along the twists and turns of the long driveway. Lena peered outside, looking up at the sun seeping through the branches of the trees as they formed a shadowy archway over the road. Finally, they broke through the trees and Lena took in the sight of the mansion nestled in the middle of the open space. It was surrounded by acres of countryside, and a lump formed in Lena’s throat at the familiar sight.

 

Stopping outside the house, the driver opened the car door for Lena, helping her out before he went to fetch her bags. Lena walked slowly up the front steps, Athena in tow, and she nervously toyed with the locket around her neck. Hesitantly, Lena dropped the locket and lifted her hand to knock on the front door.

 

Moments later, Lillian answered it, giving Lena a warm, yet uncertain smile, as if she was waiting for Lena to turn around and walk away. She opened the door wider, moving to the side to let her daughter in.

 

“Um, hi,” Lena said, her lips curling slightly at the corners, not quite making it to a smile.

 

“Hi,” Lillian said. “Don’t just stand there, come in.”

 

Lena stepped over the threshold, taking in the familiar foyer of the house. Nothing had changed and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing of not. Athena trailed in after her, and the driver appeared, depositing Lena’s bags just inside the door.

 

“Oh! You have a dog,” Lillian exclaimed, her eyebrows raising in surprise.

 

“I couldn’t leave her locked in my apartment for five days,” Lena explained. “I hope that won’t be a problem.”

 

“Not at all. I’ll have my housekeeper go and buy some supplies for her,” Lillian said, giving Lena another smile as they walked further into the house. Lena nodded slightly, looking around. With a shock, she realised her first assessment of the place had been wrong. The walls and and units were free of the photos they used to hold. The photos of her brother. Even the family photos were gone.

 

Lillian noticed Lena’s preoccupation with the empty spaces on the walls, and her face darkened. “I had them taken down after …” Lillian broke off, and Lena blinked in surprise, not expecting her mom to comment on it.

 

“What? It hurt too much to look at him?” Lena probed, arching one of her eyebrows.

 

“Yes,” Lillian admitted. “The ones of you were already gone by then.”

 

Lena was surprised again, having not realised how difficult it would have been for her mom to lose both of her children. No wonder she had come to Lena begging for a second chance.

 

“I had your bed made up for you in your old room. I hope that’s okay,” Lillian said, changing the topic.

 

“That’s fine,” Lena murmured.

 

“Did you want to take your things upstairs? Get settled in?” Lillian asked.

 

“Yeah, sure,” Lena said, shrugging indifferently.

 

“Here, I’ll take the dog and put some coffee on,” Lillian told her, reaching out and relieving Lena of the leash. She pulled back slightly as Lillian’s fingers brushed her own, but relinquished the leash to her without protest. Lena watched as her mother walked off towards the kitchen, disappearing out of sight.

 

Walking back towards the front door, Lena picked up her bags and walked up the staircase. Her bedroom was on the third floor, and Lena stared down the length of the familiar hallway, glancing at the numerous doors and wondering if they were still home to the same things as when she still lived at home.

 

Lena walked over to the door to her room, pausing outside, before reaching out and turning the doorknob. She let the door swing open and a wave of nostalgia hit her. It was exactly the same as she’d left it, except for the new bedspread. If not for that and the lack of dust, she could almost believe that no one had stepped foot in here since she had left.

 

The huge canopy bed dominated the room, and there below the window on the far wall was the desk where Lena had spent hours pulling apart machines or drawing blueprints and plans for her ideas and improvements. The bookshelves covering one wall were empty; all of the books now holding a place in Lena’s other apartments. Walking inside, Lena placed her bags on the ottoman at the end of her bed. She turned around slowly, taking in the rest of the familiar room.

 

After a moment, she walked back downstairs and joined her mom in the kitchen. She hesitated in the entryway to the kitchen as she observed her mom talking to Athena in a low voice, scratching the dog beneath her chin. It was hard for Lena to reconcile this version of Lillian with the distant mother from her childhood.

 

Walking into the room, Lena sat down at one of the stools along the counter, pulling the cup of coffee she assumed was for herself closer. “Her name’s Athena,” Lena told Lillian, taking a sip of coffee.

 

“Ah. You always did like mythology,” Lillian said, smiling faintly. “Did you pick it out yourself?”

 

“No, she’s a rescue,” Lena explained, and Lillian nodded, petting the dog on the head as she reached for her coffee with her other hand.

 

“Have, uh, have you been in my room whilst I’ve been gone?” Lena blurted out.

 

Lillian’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and she blinked as she took in Lena’s question. “Yes, why?”

 

Lena shrugged, running a finger around the room of her cup. “I was just wondering,” she mumbled.

 

“I used to go and sit in the armchair next to your bookshelves. For a while the room still smelt like you. I could almost pretend that you were still here,” Lillian admitted.

 

“Did you do the same for Lex?” Lena asked after a pause. She knew she was treading into dangerous territory by asking about her brother, but she’d never really had anyone to talk to about him with. She hadn’t even gone to his funeral.

 

Lillian cleared her throat slightly, sitting up stiffly in her chair. “Yes,” she said, her voice strained with emotion. Lena nodded, picking up her cup and taking a sip.

 

“I’m sorry. I know he was your favourite,” Lena muttered, “that doesn’t excuse what he did though.”

 

“You think I don’t know that?” Lillian said sharply, her head whipping around to face Lena. “It’s every mother’s nightmare to lose their child, and I couldn’t even grieve for mine without feeling guilty.”

 

“I know. I felt that too,” Lena mumbled. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

 

Lillian let out a cold laugh. “No, it’s fine. If anyone would understand, it’s you. But, I’d rather spend time fixing things with you than dwelling on the past.”

 

“And how do you plan on fixing things,” Lena asked, letting out a quick laugh as she looked at Lillian with amusement.

 

“What would you like me to do?” Lillian asked, an uncertain expression flickering over her face.

 

“Not being so much of a bitch, for starters,” Lena told her, her lips curling in a small smile.

 

Lillian sighed, quietly tutting. “Honestly Lena, do you _have_ to use such vulgar language?”

 

“I’d hardly call it vulgar, mom, and I’d say it’s well deserved,” Lena told her, reaching down to scratch Athena, who had come wandering over for some attention. “Or at least it used to be.”

 

Lillian rolled her eyes. “I’m trying my best not to be so critical, in case you haven’t noticed,” she said.

 

“I have, actually. Which is why I said I’d stay here instead of at my apartment,” Lena told her, straightening up as she looked at her mom.

 

“Thank you,” Lillian said, sounding sincere. She truly was grateful that Lena was willing to let her try and make amends. It was difficult for them both though, and it wouldn’t be easy to let each other in.

 

\---

 

Lena spent the rest of her morning wandering the grounds with Athena, tossing a stick she’d found for her to play fetch. To Lena’s delight, she remembered her way through the small maze out the back garden, and had even managed to climb the tree that she had carved her name into when she was younger.

 

It was nearing lunchtime when she received a call off Kara. With a smile, Lena held the phone up so the camera was level with her face, waiting expectantly for Kara’s face to come on screen.

 

“Hi,” she smiled at her, taking in Kara’s appearance as she made sure she was okay.

 

_“Hey yourself,”_ Kara said, beaming back at her. _“You look happy.”_

 

“Hm, well you might have something to do with that,” Lena told her, shading her eyes from the sun as she tried to focus on the camera. “Hold on, I’m going to go inside.”

 

_“Where are you?”_ Kara asked, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she frowned in confusion.

 

“My mom’s place,” Lena told her.

 

_“Oh, you’re there already. I didn’t think you’d be there until later on,”_ Kara said. _“How is it? Being back home?”_

 

“It’s … not as bad as I thought,” Lena admitted, heading back towards the house. “Things are the same, for the most part, but it doesn’t hurt as much as I thought it would.”

 

_“I’m glad. I hate the thought of you being someplace you tried so hard to get away from,”_ Kara told her, grimacing slightly.

 

“It wasn’t all bad. At least my mom’s trying to be nice now, and my dad’s dead so there’s no shouting. It actually feels quite … I don’t know, empty? I wish you were here with me.”

 

_“Me too. Maybe if things go well you can take me there one day. Can I see it?”_ Kara asked excitedly.

 

Lena let out a quiet laugh at her enthusiasm. “Sure, hold on a second.”

 

Flipping the camera around, Lena held her phone up, turning it onto the house, trying to fit the whole thing in the lens of the camera.

 

_“Oh my God. That’s not a house. That’s a mansion!”_ Kara exclaimed, her voice full of awe. Lena laughed as she turned around, panning around the view of the grounds for Kara to see. _“Is that a maze? Who has an actual maze in their garden? Oh my God.”_

 

Lena laughed again as she strode towards the house, calling Athena to follow her. She walked in through the back door, chatting to Kara about Kara’s day. Apparently it had been a quiet day, and Lena expressed her happiness at that. Flipping the camera around again, she wandered slowly through the downstairs of the house, showing Kara various rooms and laughing as Kara exclaimed and commented on everything.

 

Walking upstairs, Lena started her tour of the second floor. Opening the door to one of the offices, she blinked in surprise as Lillian looked up from where she sat behind the desk.

 

“Oh, sorry, I was just giving Kara a tour. I didn’t realise you were in here,” Lena apologised, taking a step backwards.

 

“Not to worry, I was just going over some research,” Lillian said, waving away Lena’s apology.

 

_“Hi Mrs Luthor,”_ Kara’s voice called out from the video call.

 

“Oh, hi Kara. I hope everything’s well over there,” Lillian called back politely.

 

_“All good on this front. I hope you’re well. You have a beautiful home,”_ Kara replied.

 

“Thank you,” Lillian said.

 

“Um, I’ll leave you to it,” Lena told her, before Kara could engage her in a proper conversation. She nodded to her mom as she stepped back into the hallway and shut the door. “Well anyway, let’s continue.”

 

_“She, uh, seems happier than the last time I met her,”_ Kara said hesitantly.

 

“Yeah, she actually smiles now. I guess she’s just lonely, stuck out here in this big house,” Lena shrugged, walking into the next room.

 

Finished with the second floor, Lena walked up to the third floor, and made her way down that hallway too. She hesitated outside the door to Lex’s room, and decided to skip it with a quick explanation to Kara. Eventually, she made it down the other end of the hallway and slipped into her room, giving Kara a quick look around at the plain room before sitting down on the bed and flipping the camera back onto herself.

 

“So, how are things going with your soldiers? Beat them into submission yet?” Lena asked with a smile.

 

_“I’m getting there. One of the guys had to drop and give me three hundred sit ups, so I think next time he’ll just do what I ask the first time,”_ Kara said with a sigh.

 

“Hmm, I like this side of you. Not so sweet and innocent now, are you, lieutenant?” Lena said with a small laugh.

 

_“I hate having to yell,”_ Kara grumbled. _“It’s actually so exhausting, they’re all so dumb. Like how can you break the gas piston on a gun? Do you know how hard that is to do on a MAG? It’s fine though; I threatened them all with being tied to a pole all night for the next person to disobey or do something stupid.”_

 

“I had no idea you were such a badass,” Lena teased her, and Kara rolled her eyes as she laughed.

 

_“I might melt around you, but I happen to have a reputation out here, just so you know,”_ Kara told her sternly.

 

“Oh really? And here I thought I was the one going soft on you, not the other way around,” Lena laughed.

 

_“Hm, perhaps you’re not the only one changing then,”_ Kara told her with a smile.

 

“No, I guess not,” Lena mumbled. “I guess you’re just going to have to come back and find out how much things have really changed though.”

 

_“I promise, on my life,”_ Kara said, holding a hand over her heart as she swore.

 

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Lena told her giving her a sad smile.

 

\---

 

 Kara had to go to bed eventually, leaving Lena to her own devices for the rest of the afternoon.

 

At dinner time, she wound up sat opposite Lillian at the dinner table, making small talk as they ate the meal prepared by Lillian’s chef. Lena was surprised to see that it was duck confit, one of her favourite childhood meals, something that Lillian had obviously remembered. Dinner was fine, for the most part, and there was a few bumpy parts that caused some tension and awkward pauses, but they tried to stick to neutral topics with little meaning.

 

Lena joined her mom in the living room after dinner, and they drank coffee as they watched a medical documentary that Lillian had recorded. After it finished, Lena bade her mom goodnight, slipping upstairs to her bedroom. She changed into one of her old MIT shirts and a pair of Kara’s old sweatpants that she had packed, and slipped under the covers.

 

Lena wasn’t sure if she felt better or worse being back home. Whilst it brought back her childhood, she was grateful to have something familiar to take her mind off how much she missed Kara. Yet at the same time, the emptiness of her room, and the lack of reminders of Kara made her feel even further away from Kara.

 

In the end, it always came back to Kara. Lena would miss her every moment she was away, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She just had to hold onto the thought that she would come back, and it would all be worth it in the end.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta get my shit together for 2 big assignments over the next 2 weeks, so there might not be daily updates, but we'll see I guess.

            Lena walked down the last few steps and padded barefoot to the kitchen, yawning as Athena came running over to her. Crouching down, Lena made quite cooing noises as she ruffled her fur, before straightening up.

 

            “What on God’s earth are you wearing?” Lillian’s voice came from behind her.

 

            Lena span around, trying not to show her surprise at Lillian’s sneaking up on her. She arched an eyebrow at Lillian’s disapproving tone. “They’re called pyjamas,” Lena said.

 

            “You look like you’re homeless,” Lillian told her, giving Lena a once over.

 

            Rolling her eyes, Lena walked over to the coffee machine and poured herself a cup. “Not everyone sleeps in Carine Gilson nightdresses,” Lena snorted.

 

            “Well you used to,” Lillian reminded her. “And you never complained about it.”

 

            Lena shrugged, as she drank her coffee. In truth, she only wore the sweatpants because they were Kara’s. Her drawers were still full of silk pyjamas that cost more than some people made in a week. She had to admit, the sweatpants were more comfortable though.

 

            “Whatever,” Lena mumbled, taking her coffee over to the table and pulling the newspaper towards her. She quickly skimmed over the stories, before turning her attention to the crossword. Lillian pulled a chair out and sat down silently, and Lena could feel her gaze on her. Looking up, Lena raised her eyebrows in question.

 

            “You still do the crossword,” Lillian said, and Lena nodded as she looked back down and wrote in the answer to five across. The chef came in and greeted them both before she started cooking breakfast for them.

 

            “So, what time would you like to go into the office?” Lillian asked.

 

            Lena shrugged, pencilling in another answer. “I don’t know; around ten I guess.”

 

            “Maybe we could have lunch together afterwards,” Lillian suggested.

 

            “Uh, sure,” Lena agreed. “Hey, who’s the leader of the Three Stooges?”

 

            “Hm? Oh, it was Moe,” Lillian said, and Lena wrote in the answer as she mumbled her thanks.

 

            They ate breakfast in silence, as Lena finished the crossword and Lillian read over some files on her research. After breakfast, Lena walked outside with Athena, letting her run around the garden while Lena stayed hidden in the shadows.

 

\---

 

            As they walked through the front doors of the Metropolis headquarters, all heads turned to Lena and Lillian and expressions of surprise flickered across some of the employees faces. Lena hadn’t come back to the Metropolis office since moving the L-Corp headquarters to National City as part of her rebranding. It was a rare sight to see one Luthor in the building, let alone two.

 

            Getting into the elevator, Lena pushed the button to take them upstairs, and they walked out onto a floor full of conference rooms. There were already people waiting for them when they walked into the room, and Lena shook everyone’s hand before sitting down for the presentation.

 

            She was impressed with the new version of L-Corp’s operating system, and gave her approval for the release on Friday. Lena had been hesitant to agree without seeing it firsthand, but it looked like the team had done a good job. Giving everyone a final goodbye, Lena and Lillian were left alone in the conference room to navigate the new computer software on one of the company’s laptops.

 

            “I’m not so sure I think it’s ready yet,” Lillian said, as Lena clicked on different icons and opened a few programs.

 

            “It’s fine,” Lena said stiffly.

 

            “Yes, it’s fine, but it’s not great. The bugs they mentioned have me concerned,” Lillian argued.

 

            “Well they’re already working on fixing them,” Lena replied, “it runs well enough for a launch.”

 

            “If you’re not going to listen to my advice then why am I here?” Lillian asked, sounding slightly pissed off.

 

            Lena sighed, and shut the laptop as she spun in her chair to face her mom. “Because I was trying to be nice,” Lena admitted.

 

            _“Nice?”_ Lillian echoed, letting out a sharp laugh.

 

            “It’s my business now. I run it, and I decide when our products are released,” Lena told her, leaving no room for argument.

 

            “So that’s it? You’re just going to ignore my input?” Lillian said, sounding slightly hurt.

 

            “Wouldn’t be the first time,” Lena mumbled, fidgeting with her hands as she looked down. They were both quiet for a moment as both of them thought about previous arguments that they’d had, feeling more irritated by the second.

 

            “Well, it’s obvious that you’re just going to do what you want, like you always do,” Lillian said, her jaw tightening as her icy persona took over.

 

            “What do you mean ‘like I always do’?” Lena said, her anger flaring up at Lillian’s tone.

 

            “Oh please, you’ve never listened to anything I’ve told you in your life,” Lillian said, laughing coldly. “Every _single_ time I’ve ever tried to help you, you get angry. I’m just trying to help you.”

 

            “You never say something just to help!” Lena exclaimed, shooting up out of her chair as she yelled. “All my life you’ve only ever done anything for me if you could gain something from it!”

 

            “Lena-” Lillian interrupted, a warning in her tone.

 

            “No!” Lena yelled at her. “You have never _once_ been supportive of me. You criticise everything I do. You second guess every decision that I make. If I pushed back the release you would have said I was being to cautious or-or too much of a perfectionist. I can’t win with you!”

 

            “That’s not wh-” Lillian tried to protest, but was cut off by Lena again.

 

            “You know what, just … forget it,” Lena muttered, all of the anger seeping out of her as she picked her handbag up and stormed out of the office.

 

\---

 

            “I thought you’d be gone by now,” Lillian said with surprise as she walked out the back garden. Lena let the arrow loose as she jumped slightly at Lillian’s silent approach. It sailed over the target and into the bushes behind it.

 

            “I considered it,” Lena replied curtly, reaching for another arrow as she waited for Lillian’s reply.

 

            “I didn’t realise you were still into archery,” Lillian murmured, wandering closer.

 

            “I’m not. I found my old equipment in the shed,” Lena said, fitting the arrow into the bow and raising it. When she’d first gotten into Lord of the Rings, Lena had begged her parents to let her take up archery. Luckily, Lillian has seen archery as a respectable pastime for someone of their social class, and had given in to Lena’s begging.

 

            “Your elbow’s dropping,” Lillian said, watching Lena’s form. Lifting her elbow up so her arm was parallel with the ground, Lena aimed at the target she’d set up down the other end of the garden, and let the arrow loose. It sank into the target, closer to the middle than to the edge.

 

            “Not bad,” Lillian murmured, and Lena nodded.

 

            “So, is there a reason why you’re out here?” Lena asked, cutting to the chase.

 

            “I wanted to apologise,” Lillian said slowly.

 

            Lena was silent for a moment as she shot another arrow. “Was that the apology?” she asked her mom, turning away from the target and raising an eyebrow.

 

            “No,” Lillian answered stiffly. “I’m sorry.”

 

            “I’m sorry too,” Lena muttered, fiddling with the bowstring as she avoided her mom’s gaze. “I was acting childish because you weren’t on my side, and I was hoping you would be. I was hoping things would be different this time.”

 

            “I _am_ on your side, Lena. Things are different, I just wish you would believe that,” Lillian sighed. “I’m trying to help you make the best decisions for the company too.”

           

            “But that’s not what _I_ think is the best decision,” Lena argued, throwing her arms up in frustration.

 

            “Well then just ignore my input like you always do,” Lillian told her, exasperatedly.

 

            “There you go again with the always!” Lena exclaimed. “It’s always my fault, right?”

 

            “Stop putting words into my mouth,” Lillian snapped. “I’m not blaming you for anything. Honestly Lena, you’re always trying to push me away. It’s like you don’t _want_ to make things work.”

 

            “Maybe I don’t,” Lena retorted, raising one eyebrow as she looked at Lillian, who sighed as she looked at her daughter. Hurt flickered across her face and she gave Lena a sad smile.

 

            “Well then go,” Lillian said quietly, sounding defeated. “I don’t want to argue with you Lena. I want you to be safe, I want you to be happy. I watched you go to National City to get away from me, and from this city and all the bad memories in it. I know it’s hard for you to be here, so if going back to National City is going to make you happy, then go, please. You are the most important thing in my life now, and if being away from me is what makes things better or easier for you, then do it. Do it for yourself.”

 

            Lena crouched down and picked up the arrows, placing them back in the quiver and slinging it over her shoulder before she stood up to face Lillian. “You would really let me go? That’s that. No more trying to contact me? No more interfering in my life?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

 

            “If that’s what’s best for you,” Lillian said, nodding slightly as she grimaced.

 

            “It’s not,” Lena sighed, and Lillian’s eyes widened with surprise.

 

            “ _Not?”_ she repeated, making sure she heard her properly.

 

            “No,” Lena whispered. “I have a new family now. I’m happy … but I want to fix things. I meant it when I said that. I know I’m making it hard for you, but I’m trying, I promise you that. I just … I doubt myself every time you disagree with me. I know you mean well, but I can’t let go of all the times you made me feel worthless.”

 

            “I never wanted you to feel that way,” Lillian told her, a sad look crossing her face. “I told you why, and I know that’s not a good enough excuse for pushing you aside. You went to being place in an orphanage to another mother who couldn’t give you the love you deserved. I am _so_ sorry for that. I will never forgive myself for letting him get in between us.”

 

            “I just want my mom,” Lena said in a small voice. She sounded like a child and Lillian’s tough pretence fell away as she let out a sigh, letting all of the tension bleed out of her. Hesitating for a moment, she stepped forward, closing the gap between them. Lena stood frozen on the spot as she let her mom hug her for the first time in well over a decade. After a moment, she unfroze, dropping the bow to the floor and bringing her arms up to return the embrace.

 

            It wasn’t a long hug, but it was a big step for both of them, and as Lena dropped her hands, Lillian pulled back, quickly brushing Lena’s hair back as she studied her daughter’s face.

 

            “I truly am sorry for the way things worked out,” Lillian whispered, and Lena was startled to find her eyes were shining with unshed tears.

 

            “I know. I’m sorry too,” Lena murmured.

 

            “I’ll, um, be inside if you need me,” Lillian told her, and Lena nodded, reaching down to pick up the bow.

 

            As she walked to the other end of the garden to pull the arrows out of the target, her phone rang, and Lena pulled it out. She frowned down at Kara’s name on the screen, before she slid across to answer.

 

            “Hello,” Lena said, pressing the phone to her ear.

 

_“Hi!”_ Kara’s enthusiastic voice came through. _“If you’re wondering why it’s a phone call and not a video call, I accidentally dropped my tablet and it’s broken.”_ Lena smiled at the faint sigh that followed.

 

            “Ah, I was wondering about that,” Lena told her. “I’ll have a new one sent straight to you.”

 

_“Have I ever told you you’re the best? Because you are,”_ Kara told her with a small laugh.

 

            “I think you have mentioned it once of twice, but you know how vain I am,” Lena sighed dramatically before laughing. “I’m disappointed that I don’t get to see your face today though.”

 

_“Me too. I mean your face, obviously,”_ Kara said, sighing into the phone.

 

            Lena sank down to the grass and pulled her locket out from beneath her shirt, opening it up to reveal the tiny picture of Kara inside. She stared down at it lovingly, smiling to herself as she listened to Kara’s voice.

 

_“So, what did you get up to this morning?”_

 

            “I went to L-Corp with my mom to double-check the new software. You know how I like to approve things myself,” Lena told her. “And that was a complete disaster. Well, my mom, not the software. _I_ think it’s ready to be launched.”

 

_“Uh oh,”_ Kara said, _“an argument?”_

 

            “Yes,” Lena sighed. “It’s all fine now though. We patched things over, kind of.”

 

_“Are you sure you’re alright? I know arguing with her gets you down.”_

 

            “I’m fine, really. We, uh, well … she hugged me,” Lena told her. “It was really weird, actually.”

 

_“She_ hugged _you?”_ Kara repeated, sounding shocked.

 

            “Mhm. First time in at least ten years, I think,” Lena said, frowning slightly. Her family were never big on affection. It wasn’t just Lillian not showing Lena affection, it was all of them. From the age of perhaps ten onwards, Lena didn’t think she’d gotten so much as a warm smile off someone in her family. Although, on the rare occasions where Lillian was, it was always towards Lex.

 

_“Oh wow, how did that go? I know you don’t really like to be touched. Remember the first time I tried hugging you?”_ Kara laughed slightly at the memory.

 

            “I mean, I hugged her back and it was only for a second. But I feel like it was a big thing for us. Arguing aside, we’re kind of getting our footing a little bit,” Lena admitted, “and of course I remember that hug. It was the first time since my childhood that someone had hugged me. I was so shocked that I couldn’t even make myself hug you back before you’d pulled away. I wanted to kick myself.”

 

_“I wanted to kick myself for doing it!”_ Kara laughed, _“I thought for sure you were going to push me away.”_

 

            “What I’d give for a hug off you now,” Lena sighed, smiling slightly at the memory of that day at the cinema.

 

_“Anything. I’m not sure about you, but I’d give anything,”_ Kara said quietly.

 

            “Are you okay?” Lena asked, her voice filling with concern.

 

_“Yeah, I’m fine,”_ Kara whispered, her voice wobbling as she spoke. _“I just-, I miss you more today. Like more than usual, which is saying a lot. I-“_

 

            She broke off then, the last word coming out choked up.

 

_“Sorry. I just-, I’m so tired, and I’m sick of waking up alone. Sometimes I still wake up and reach for you before I remember I’m all the way here. And I miss falling asleep to the sound of your heartbeat, and I miss the way you talk in your sleep. Did I ever tell you that you do that? I don’t think that I did, and I don’t know if you know, but that’s something that you do. The first time you did it was completely terrifying. You grabbed me by the shoulders and you told me not to move because it was behind me. I think I almost broke my neck, spinning around that fast. But I wish you were here to talk about silly things in your dreams, and to cook me raw chicken and go on one of your rants about the bee population dying. I just miss you so much.”_

 

            Lena was silent as Kara ranted, and she could hear it in Kara’s voice that she was crying, and so was she. Reaching up, Lena wiped at her face with the cuff of her shirt, sniffling quietly.

 

            “I miss you too,” Lena choked out, laughing slightly at the fact that she was crying again. “You’ve turned me into a teary mess.”

 

_“Sorry,”_ Kara mumbled miserably.

 

            “Shh, it’s okay. It’s been almost six weeks. Every moment has dragged, but we’ve made it this far. If you want, I promise I’ll undercook your chicken for you when you come home, or I’ll record myself sleeping and tell you what I said. The bees are still dying! Do you want me to go on a rant for you right now? I’ll do anything for you. Anything in the world. Ask for it and it’s yours,” Lena told her, wiping away more tears.

 

            She hated the thought of Kara being over there, crying alone. Kara laughed weakly at Lena’s effort to try and make her feel better.

 

_“Anything? I want you.”_

 

            “You already have me. Forever,” Lena told her firmly.

 

_“Forever’s an awfully long time,”_ Kara whispered.

 

            “Good. I hope you get sick of me,” Lena laughed.

 

_“I could never,”_ Kara replied, and Lena could hear the smile in her voice. _“Not in a million years, and definitely not now. Nothing’s going to change. Not for me and you.”_

 

            “Of course not,” Lena murmured, thinking about how much she had to lose if things did change.

 

\---

 

            Lena let Kara stay up talking to her later than she should have, knowing that tonight Kara needed her. She wouldn’t let her go to bed upset, even if Kara needed all the sleep she could get. Instead, they talked for ages about their day, and the photos Kara took and Lena told Kara about how she had found her old archery equipment. By the end of the call, Lena suspected that Kara was feeling marginally better, and sent her off to bed with a reminder of how much she loved her and a warning to stay safe.

 

            After putting all the equipment back where she found it, Lena walked back inside, her shoulders slumped by the overwhelming feeling of sadness. She missed Kara so much.

 

            Lillian was walking downstairs as Lena made her way over to them, and Lillian’s eyes widened at the sight of Lena’s red and slightly puffy eyes. “Is everything okay?” she asked, alarmed that Lena had been crying.

 

            “Fine,” Lena replied curtly, brushing past Lillian as they passed each other on the stairs. She stopped at the gentle touch of Lillian’s hand on her shoulder, and her shoulders tensed up. Lena didn’t turn around and Lillian didn’t say anything else. A moment later she dropped her hand and Lena carried on walking.

 

            After changing into some pyjamas, Lena washed her face and was about to make her way to the library to fetch a book when her eyes landed on Lex’s bedroom door. Slowly, Lena walked over to it, and after a slight hesitation, turned the handle and opened the door.

 

            It was exactly the same as Lena remembered it. He had always been a bit chaotic, and there were stacks of long abandoned papers on his desk and old blueprints taped to the walls beneath band posters and various sports team’s banners. She could almost pretend he was still away at college. It wasn’t the abandoned room Lena had left behind when she left, Lex had intended to come back. Until he hadn’t.

 

            Crossing the room, Lena sat down on the bed. She smiled sadly as she saw the white knight chess piece on his nightstand, and reached out to pick it up. A flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention, and Lena looked up to see Lillian stood in the doorway, holding a cup in her hand as she looked around the room.

 

            “I haven’t been in here in months,” she said quietly, crossing the room to sit down on the bed, next to Lena. Lillian handed her the cup, looking at Lena intently. “I thought you could do with some tea. I remember you use to always say there was nothing that tea couldn’t fix.”

 

            “I guess I was wrong,” Lena said with a shrug. “Thank you.”

 

            Lillian nodded, and they both sat there in silence for a few minutes before Lena reached out and set the chess piece back on the nightstand. Standing up, they both walked out of the room, and Lillian shut the door firmly.

 

            “You should think about getting rid of his things,” Lena told her, nodding her head in the direction of the door as she walked over to the stairs.

 

            “I know,” Lillian agreed. “I guess I don’t need the reminders to comfort me anymore.”

 

\---

 

            Dinner was a bit better than last night’s, and Lena and Lillian talked about the medical research Lillian was doing and some of L-Corp’s other projects. Neither of them brought up the new computer software, and even if they did, Lena suspected that Lillian would agree with her this time, if only to show her daughter some support.

 

            After dinner, they sat in the living room, and Lena stretched out along one of the sofa’s as she read a book she’d plucked from the library. As the night wore on, she fell asleep on the sofa, dreaming that she was being covered in a warm blanket as a woman stroked her hair and whispered to her soothingly.

 

            It wasn’t until Lillian shook her awake later on in the night, telling her to go to bed, that Lena realised it had been Lillian. She sat up and the blanket bunched up around her waist as she rubbed at her tired eyes and stifled a yawn. Lillian switched all the lights off as Lena stumbled out of the living room and over to the stairs. Mumbling goodnight to her mom, Lena went up to her room and collapsed into bed, pulling the covers up to her chin and falling straight into a deep sleep.


	31. Chapter 31

            “You did very well tonight,” Lillian said, breaking Lena out of her thoughts. She turned to look at her mom, surprised at the compliment. “You should be proud of yourself.”

 

            Lena nodded, giving Lillian a small smile. “Thank you.”

 

            “And, well, I’m proud of you too,” Lillian told her, smiling back at her. Lena nodded again, mumbling another thank you.

 

            They were in the back of the car, on their way home after having just left L-Corp and the launch party. The city flashed past them as they sped towards the outskirts, and Lena was sat in the back, feeling slightly smug that the night had gone perfectly. Lillian’s words had gotten to her, and she’d had her best coders working around the clock to fix the bugs. They were fixed, for the most part, and still in time for the Friday launch that Lena had insisted on.

 

            “I was thinking that maybe we could go out for breakfast tomorrow, before you leave,” Lillian said hesitantly.

 

            “I’d like that,” Lena agreed.

 

            The rest of the car ride passed in relative silence, and it was getting late by the time they got home. Lena followed Lillian inside and, after fussing over Athena for a moment, she headed over to the staircase.

 

            “Wait,” Lillian called after her, causing Lena to turn around, arching an eyebrow at her mom. “I was-, we should have a drink. To celebrate.”

 

            “Celebrate? It was just a new operating system, it’s _that_ big of a deal,” Lena said, laughing dismissively.

 

            “Oh … well I think it deserves some recognition,” Lillian said, her smile faltering as she replied.

 

            “Wasn’t that what tonight was for?” Lena laughed quietly before sighing. “Fine. Let me get out of this dress. I’ll be two seconds.”

 

            She didn’t wait for a reply, she just carried on walking up to her bedroom, quickly changing into her pyjamas before remerging. Lena walked into the living room as her mom walked in with two glasses and a bottle of champagne.

 

            “Dom Pérignon?” Lena asked, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

 

            “Mhm. Twenty years old,” Lillian replied, handing the bottle to Lena.

 

            “Quite the celebration,” Lena snorted, popping the cork and taking a glass off Lillian to fill it up. She filled the other one up for herself and set the bottle down on the coffee table, before sitting down on the sofa.

 

            “To you then,” Lillian said, smiling at Lena as she raised her glass slightly.

 

            “Right,” Lena mumbled, taking a sip of the champagne. “Actually, no.”

 

            “No?” Lillian replied, arching an eyebrow at Lena.

 

            “I just-, the past five days … they’ve, uh, I don’t know. I think it’s been good for me, and for you too, maybe. For both of us,” Lena muttered. “That’s … I don’t know, meant more to me than some stupid software.”

 

            “I’m glad you think so,” Lillian said with a small smile, and Lena sipped her champagne as she shrugged self-consciously. She rarely overshared, and never with her mom, and if things were like they used to be, Lena would’ve been mortified at revealing that she actually cared. Then again, if their relationship was like it used to be, she would never have found herself in this situation to begin with.

 

            They chatted whilst they drank their champagne, refilling the glasses when they got too low, and Lena was surprised to notice that she was having a real conversation with her mom, and she was enjoying it. Somewhere over the past five days’ things had stopped being polite and distant, and morphed into genuine interest and a more relaxed feeling around each other.

 

            Lillian disappeared into the kitchen to fetch some food, returning a few minutes later with a quickly assembles cheese platter. She set the platter down on the coffee table as she watched Lena hover near the grand piano in the back corner, trailing her fingers over the top of it.

 

            “Do you still play?” Lillian asked, sitting back down.

 

            “No, not for a couple of years now,” Lena replied, lifting up the fallboard to expose the keys. She stroked her fingers along the ivory keys, not using enough force to elicit a sound.

 

            “I remember when you stopped playing because you said it was a dull, outdated instrument,” Lillian laughed softly. “And that you wanted to play the drums because you used to listen to that racket you called music.”

 

            “And then you told me the drums weren’t an appropriate instrument to play,” Lena laughed at the memory. “But dad convinced you to let me get a drum kit anyway, and then I played it twice and got bored. I took piano back up during college, for a while, but I guess I got too busy for it.”

 

            “You never did have much tolerance for things you weren’t interested in,” Lillian mused, “I did miss the sound of you playing though.”

 

            Lena smiled at Lillian, before sitting down on the bench and playing a chord. She recalled one of her favourite pieces to play when she was younger and spread her fingers across the familiar keys. Lena ran through the first part of the piece, laughing as her fingers stumbled over the keys; she was a little rusty. She cut off halfway through, closing the fallboard and returning to the sofa.

 

            “I prefer listening to compositions these days, I guess I’m not as good as I used to be,” Lena said, shrugging as she plucked a grape off the platter and popped it in her mouth.

 

            “You should go and see Yiruma when he comes here. I hear he’s fantastic live,” Lillian said.

 

            “He is. I saw him play when I was in Tokyo last year,” Lena explained.

 

            “Tokyo? For the tech convention?” Lillian asked.

 

            Lena nodded, smiling at her mom. “I have to stay ahead of my competitors.”

 

            “Well you’d be hard pressed to find someone who’s more innovative than you. I don’t think I ever told you, in fact I know I’ve need had the chance to, but I’m proud of you for getting the company back on its feet. You did what I couldn’t, and I’m grateful to you for stepping up,” Lillian told her.

 

            “He really fucked things up for us, didn’t he?” Lena said, grimacing as she drained her glass. She rolled her eyes as Lillian tutted at her language, smiling as she reached for the bottle.

 

            “I’m not sure if you’re talking about your father or your brother,” Lillian laughed bitterly. “I think that applies to both of them.”

 

            “Mm, I guess so,” Lena mumbled in agreement. “I guess the bar is pretty low for me then, huh? Is that why you suggested to the board that I become CEO? Like, no matter what, I couldn’t be _that_ bad ... all things considered.”

 

            Lillian shook her head, laughing slightly, and Lena found herself joining in. “Well, you’re not wrong, but I never doubted your ability to run a company. You always were smarter than Lex,” Lillian told her.

 

            “I know,” Lena said smugly as she sipped her champagne.

 

            It was after midnight when they both made their way upstairs. Lena hadn’t intended to stay up so late, but she found herself enjoying the stories Lillian told her about her childhood, and the patients she’d treated, and things about Lena’s childhood that she was too young to remember. It hit Lena that she’d never really had the chance to get to know her mom, and she listened with interest as Lillian talked.

 

            Murmuring goodnight to her mom, Lena walked up to the third floor and slipped into her room. She lay there for a while taking in the things she’d learnt about her mom, trying to reconcile the two versions of Lillian in her head. Lena’s last thought before she went to sleep was of Kara, and she drifted to sleep off wondering what Kara was doing at that exact moment.

 

\---

 

            Lena found herself sat near the window of one of the more expensive restaurants in Metropolis as she had breakfast with her mom. Her flight wasn’t for another hour or so and she found herself relaxing as she read over the menu.

 

            A waiter approached with there drinks and Lena murmured her thanks as she set down a glass of orange juice and a cappuccino in front of her.

 

            “Are you ladies ready to order?” he asked, smiling at Lena.

 

            “May I please have the salmon and camembert omelette, thank you,” Lena said, handing over the menu whilst Lillian told him her own order.

 

            “So, I’ve, uh, been thinking,” Lillian said, taking a sip of her tea.

 

            “Oh?” Lena murmured, arching an eyebrow at Lillian as she waited for her to elaborate.

 

            “Well … I-, it hasn’t been so painful for you, has it? Coming home I mean,” Lillian asked, uncertainty flashing across her face.

 

            “No. No, it hasn’t,” Lena admitted. “I’ve actually found that I have some good memories too … they just got lost in all the bad, and I’m, well, glad that I had the chance to remember them.”

 

            “Good,” Lillian nodded, “I’m glad that you don’t think too badly about the place.”

 

            Lena stared at her mom, frowning slightly in confusion. “So, uh, w-was that it? That’s what you were thinking about?”

 

            “Well, no,” Lillian said, clearing her throat slightly. “I was wondering how you would feel about coming back?”

 

            “Coming back?” Lena echoed, frowning again.

 

            “When Kara comes home. I’d like it very much if you would come and visit again, perhaps with her next time,” Lillian told her, another uncertain expression flickering across her face.

 

            “Oh! You want me to visit again,” Lena said, “I thought-”

 

            “Don’t worry, I’m not asking you to move back home,” Lillian laughed quietly. “I just- I’ve missed you. I haven’t felt this happy in a long time, and I’m so thankful that you came here. It’s meant more to me than you know.”

 

            “I, uh, yeah. Of course I can bring Kara,” Lena said, giving her a small smile. “I’m sure she’d love to see where I grew up. And … well, I’d like to come back again too.”

 

            Lillian smiled back at her warmly, reaching out to quickly rest a hand on Lena’s before withdrawing it. “Thank you,” she murmured, and Lena nodded.

 

            Things were far from perfect, but Lena meant it. The past few days had gone better than she had expected; a testament to Lillian’s word that she would try and mend their relationship. Neither of them wanted to jump straight into the deep end, but they both acknowledged that the other was at least trying, and that was enough of a reason for Lena to agree to come back. Anyway, it would be a long time before Kara was home, which gave Lena a lot of time to figure things out with Lillian. She was sure she’d see her again before coming back for another visit.

 

\---

 

            The driver was carrying her bags to the car, and Lena hovered near the front door as she waited to say goodbye to Lillian, watching Athena sniff one of the bushes nearby. As the trunk was firmly shut, Lillian appeared, smiling slightly at her daughter.

 

            “All set?” she asked, and Lena nodded as she returned her smile.

 

            “Um, well, thank you for letting me stay here,” Lena said.

 

            “Of course,” Lillian said, waving away her thanks.

 

            “I guess I’ll see you next time then,” Lena told her, and Lillian nodded with a smile.

 

            “C-can you, uh, give me a text me when you get home? So I know you’re safe?” Lillian asked hesitantly.

 

            “Yeah, of course,” Lena murmured.

 

            “Okay, great,” Lillian said. “Well, you better get going, you don’t want to keep your plane waiting.”

 

            “Right,” Lena agreed.

 

            Lillian reached forward and cupped Lena’s cheek, gently stroking her cheek as she gave her a small smile. “Thank you, Lena. Really,” she said, before dropping her hand.

 

            “Well … bye,” Lena said, turning around and walking over to the car, whistling for Athena to follow. The German Shepherd bounded over and leapt into the back seat, and Lena followed her in, turning to give her mom a quick wave before shutting the door.

 

\---

 

            The flight passed by quickly, and soon Lena was pulling up outside her apartment. She picked up her mail as she walked inside, smiling at the handwritten letter she saw in the pile, and picked up a parcel waiting for her too.

 

            Stepping out of the elevator, Lena walked over to her door, juggling her bags, her dog and her parcel as she unlocked the door. Dropping her bags on the floor, Lena kicked the door shut behind her and crouched down to unclip the leash, ruffling the fur under Athena’s chin before standing back up.

 

            Before she read Kara’s letter, Lena boiled some water for tea and stared at the package on the counter. She stared down at the return address on the parcel, frowning at the designer brand, before tearing open the plastic. She let out a laugh as she pulled out the first pair of sweatpants, and reached for her phone.

 

            “Versace sweatpants?” Lena said as soon as the call connected.

 

            _“If you want to look like a broke college student, you could at least do it in designer labels,”_ Lillian said.

 

            “Thank you … I think,” Lena replied, smiling slightly as she pulled out a few more pairs.

 

            _“You’re welcome,”_ Lillian murmured. _“I guess this means you got home okay?”_

 

            “Yeah, I just got in,” Lena told her.

 

_“Good,”_ Lillian said.

 

            “Well … I should probably go. I have to catch up on some things,” Lena replied.

 

            _“You mean it’s almost time for Kara to call you,”_ Lillian said, and Lena let out a small laugh. _“Go on. I’ll speak to you some other time.”_

 

            “Thanks, mom,” Lena softly murmured. “I’ll, uh, give you a call soon.”

 

            They said goodbye, and Lena poured the now boiling water into her cup before plucking Kara’s letter off the top of the pile and carrying it to the table. Tearing open the envelope, Lena eagerly pulled out the paper.

 

 

            _To Lena,_

_Reading that letter was probably the weirdest thing ever; you’re right, please never call me those things ever again … sweetheart. I have to agree with you again, because you said that was the first time you’ve ever known true fear, and for me, that was the first time I’ve ever truly been afraid of dying. There’s so much that we still have to do together, and all I could think of was about not getting to do all those things with you. But then I realised that being scared of dying was just stupid, and then I wasn’t scared anymore. I realised that I’m lucky to have loved you and no matter what, we’ll always have that._

_I know you don’t like it when I bring up the possibility of dying over here, but the other day, I wasn’t sure if I would see you again. And do you know what the only thing I could think of was? It was of the way you kissed me that night after the baseball game, under the lamppost on sixth street. All I could think of was that kiss and how perfect it was, and how nervous I was. I don’t think I’ll forget that kiss for as long as I live._

_Today I missed you more than ever. I know I tell you this every time, but every time it’s true. I haven’t spoken to you tonight yet, and I can’t wait to because I know you’ll make me feel better in a heartbeat. I just wish that I could talk to you at any time, I hate that I can’t call you the second I see something funny or think of something that I know you’ll understand. By the time I get to talk to you I usually forget to tell you about these things because they seem so small compared to all the important things we have to say to each other._

_I’ve never been in love before – maybe that’s why I’ve always been a hopeless romantic – but I never realised that love could hurt so much. Sometimes it feels like it physically hurts to be away from you, and I hate it. But I wouldn’t change it for the world, because loving you is the only thing I know how to do. Don’t worry when I say that loves hurt, because I don’t mean it in a bad way and I don’t want you to think that I do. What I mean is that I love you so much that even the thought of being apart from you is tearing me up inside, but that’s only because I love you more and more every day._

_I’m making myself upset again, so I’m just going to finish it here and call you. No video call today because I dropped my tablet! How much does that suck? I really wish I could see your face, but I guess I’ll just have to stare at the photo of you that I keep inside my pocket._

_I love you. That’s probably the eighth time I’ve said that in this letter, but I’ll say it again; I love you._

_Yours always,_

_Kara xxx_

            Smiling, Lena gently traced her fingers over the words as a warm feeling welled up inside her. It was slightly tainted by the sadness of missing Kara, and Lena could tell it was written the other day when Kara had cried to her over the phone. She hated the thought of her being sad for even a second, and Lena was a mixture of emotions as she read the letter again. It wasn’t fair that they were apart, and Lena understood what Kara was saying about love hurting.

 

            She jumped slightly as her phone rang, and Lena lunged for it, quickly answering it.

 

            _“There you are!”_ Kara exclaimed excitedly, beaming up at Lena. _“Guess who got the tablet you sent!”_

“I can see that,” Lena laughed, her heart racing as she gazed at Kara’s face, taking in every detail. She looked fine; she looked happy.

 

            _“Thank you! I’ve missed your face so much,”_ Kara sighed.

 

            “I’ve missed seeing your face too,” Lena agreed,

 

            _“Like don’t get me wrong, I could listen to you talk for the rest of my life. But I miss you like crazy,”_ Kara babbled, and Lena laughed quietly as she watched the animated way Kara spoke – all wild gestures and exaggerated facial expressions.

 

            “Oh God I miss you,” Lena murmured.

 

            Kara sighed, giving her a warm smile that crinkled the corner of her eyes. _“I miss you too. So you’re home now … how was it?”_

 

            “My mom’s? Not that bad, all things considered,” Lena admitted. “We had a few rough patches but last night actually was kind of nice. I actually feel like I know her better now, like as a person.”

 

            _“That’s a good thing right? Like this is what you wanted?”_

            “Hm, well I wouldn’t say I wanted it. I had kind of resigned myself to being alone, until you came along … but it _is_ a good thing, I think. At any rate, it’s not a bad thing. I just … I think she’s lonely, Kara.”

 

            _“Well of course she is! She doesn’t have anyone else but you. That’s probably why she’s trying so hard now, and why she didn’t in the past. But that doesn’t mean you should feel obligated to forgive her, you know. Like you said the first time, it’s your decision. You do what’s right for you and I’ll follow your lead.”_

 

            Lena smiled at her words; she could always rely on Kara, no matter what. “I haven’t forgiven her yet, and I don’t think I ever will. Some scars run too deep to be fixed … but I think I’m starting to move on from it. There’s so many things I’ve forgotten about, and it was nice to remember them.”

 

            _“You sound happy,”_ Kara said quietly, giving Lena a warm smile.

 

            “I-, well … I guess I’m a little bit happy about it,” Lena admitted. “She, uh, wants me to visit again. When you come home.”

 

            _“She wants me to come? Really?”_ Kara asked, blinking with surprise. _“I was under the impression that she didn’t like me after that whole business at your apartment.”_

“Did I not tell you? Apparently it’s not _you_ she has a problem with, it’s your job,” Lena said with a laugh. “She said you seem nice, but she’s ‘concerned’ about my happiness.”

 

            _“And here I thought I was doing quite a good job of making you happy,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “Hm, I think you’re right about that. I’ve been known to crack a smile every once in a while now,” Lena said, the corners of lips turning up slightly.

 

            _“Every once in a while?”_ Kara laughed. _“You know you’re not as hardcore as you think. I’m surprised you’re not in tears right now.”_

            “Hey! I already have to put up with thing one and thing two terrorising me, I don’t need you making fun of me too!” Lena whined, pouting as she tried not to laugh.

 

            _“Oh no, are you going to cry?”_ Kara laughed as Lena rolled her eyes. “ _Have you spoken to them yet?”_

“Your sister messaged me a few times whilst I was gone. I messaged her and asked if her and Maggie wanted to come over for Chinese tonight,” Lena replied.

 

            _“Ugh, what I wouldn’t give for some sweet and sour pork right now,”_ Kara groaned.

 

            “I’d send you some if I could,” Lena said sympathetically. “Are there any other food you want that I can send?”

 

            _“Anything! Literally anything is better than the food here, which I will admit isn’t that bad,”_ Kara said with an indifferent shrug. _“The brownies you sent last time were actually amazing, I think everyone instantly fell in love with you.”_

 

            “Sorry to break it to you, but I put in a special request with my chef for those. I’ll tell her you liked them though, and ask her to make some more for you,” Lena promised.

 

            _“You’re the best. I could kiss you for that … well not just for that, but you know how much I love sweet food,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “Mm, I think you made that quite clear. I’ll make sure to put in extra when I send your next package. Did you need anything else? More books? More film?” Lena asked.

 

            _“I’m still finishing off Rilke, but I’d love more books. I think I’ve started a book club with the amount you’ve been sending me. Everyone’s been borrowing them. Ooo, actually! Can you send more stationary too? I’ve been writing so many letters I think I’m going to run out soon.”_

 

            “Well we can’t have that can we? Getting your letters is the best part of my week, besides talking to you,” Lena told her with a smile.

 

\---       

 

            At the loud knock on the door, Athena bounded down the hallway, and Lena followed at a slower pace. She threw it open and smiled at Alex and Maggie as she let them in.

 

            “How was Metropolis?” Alex asked as she followed Lena back down the hallway, leaving Maggie to play with the dog.

 

            Lena shrugged as she walked over to the kitchen and pulled the Chinese out of the bag that had been delivered five minutes ago. “It was okay,” she replied. “Better than I had expected.”

 

            “You were all over the news today,” Alex told her. “The new software went down well with all the geeks.”

 

            “Please,” Lena snorted, “they always have something to complain about.”

 

            “Well you’re not wrong, but still, you did good kid,” Alex said, gently nudging Lena.

 

            “Thanks,” Lena smiled, glowing with pride at the compliment. “Did you want wine or scotch with dinner?”

 

            “Scotch!” Maggie shouted as she emerged from the hallway with Athena.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes, “well of course you want scotch, that’s a stupid question.”

 

            “Hm, I’ll go with wine,” Alex said, dishing up the food onto everyone’s plates. “Did you want noodles too, or just fried rice?”

 

            “Yeah, I’ll have noodles too please,” Lena said, as she walked over to the wine rack. “White or red? Wait, red’s better with Chinese.”

 

            Pulling a bottle off the rack, Lena fetched two glasses and carried them over to the table before getting the scotch for Maggie. She poured a tiny amount into the glass and handed it to her with a smirk.

 

            “What the fuck is this?” Maggie complained, holding up the glass and squinting at it.

 

            “Scotch,” Lena replied curtly.

 

            “Piss off, there’s not enough in here to get your dog drunk,” Maggie scoffed.

 

            “Good thing you’re smaller than her,” Lena fired back, laughing as she took the glass back and filled it up properly.

 

            Behind her, Maggie grumbled at Lena’s words. “I’m not _that_ short,” Maggie complained, and with a grin, Lena whistled.

 

            “Athena, go!” Lena commanded, snapping her fingers. Maggie let out a squeal as she was taken down under seventy pounds of fluff, and Alex and Lena burst out laughing.

 

            “You’re a fucking asshole, Luthor,” Maggie’s muffled reply came as she spluttered from the face full of fur. Athena sat on top of her, panting as she looked around carelessly. “It’s a good thing that getting taken down by a huge dog is my ideal death.”

 

            Lena was still grinning at Maggie’s slightly dishevelled appearance as they sat down around the table and started eating. Lena was careful to especially appreciate the sweet and sour pork, for Kara’s sake.

 

            “So, you’re still coming to mom’s with us next weekend, right?” Alex asked, looking at Lena expectantly.

 

            “Yeah, of course! I already promised Eliza,” Lena agreed with enthusiasm. She was excited to go back to Midvale, to get away from the business for a few days. As nice as the change of scenery had been over the past few days, she had still had to work from the comfort of her family home, and it hadn’t been much of a holiday.

 

            “Alright good. I was just checking,” Alex nodded. “We’ll leave at like nine in the morning, if that’s okay with you. I know you get up early though, so I know it’ll be fine.”

 

            Lena let out a quick laugh. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

 

            “We got a pass to bring Athena too,” Maggie told her. “I mean, I was all for putting her in a ridiculously expensive dress and trying to pass her off as you, in your place, but Alex said you might notice if she went missing for a few days.”

 

            “Right. It couldn’t be helped,” Lena said, rolling her eyes as Maggie laughed at her own joke.

 

\---

 

            Once Alex and Maggie left, Lena poured herself a cup of coffee and changed into the new sweatpants Lillian had bought her. Taking her laptop and her coffee, she walked into her office to get started on her work. She wasn’t overly tired, and she figured that staying up all night working would be preferable to staring up at her ceiling all night.

 

            Lena smiled as she looked at the photo of Kara on her desk, stroking the picture before turning her attention to her work.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao here I am again, posting a new chapter even though I said I probs wouldn't be. Please excuse me if there's more grammar and spelling mistakes than usual. I never proof read before I post, and I have literally been doing my assignment all day so I'm v tired.

            “My girls!” Eliza called out as she threw the door open and stepped out onto the front porch. Lena smiled as she paid the taxi driver and climbed out with Athena. She accepted her bag off Maggie and the two of them followed Alex up the porch steps to greet Eliza.

 

            “Hi sweetie,” Eliza smiled at Lena, wrapping her in a wrap and rubbing her back.

 

            “Hello Eliza, how are you?” Lena asked, returning the hug as she smiled.

 

            “I’m good! I’m so happy you came!” Eliza said, stopping to pet Athena before ushering the three girls inside, along with the dog.

 

            After hanging up coat up and slipping her shoes off, Lena followed Alex upstairs with their bags, dropping hers off in Kara’s room. She lingered in the doorway for a moment, smiling sadly as she looked around the room. Lena could almost imagine that Kara was going to come walking into her room and collapse onto the bed.

 

            Alex walked past, on her way back downstairs, and stopped as she saw Lena still stood in Kara’s room. “You okay?” she asked, and Lena span around, giving her a smile.

 

            “Yeah, I’m fine,” Lena told her, walking out into the hallway and shutting Kara’s door behind her. She followed Alex downstairs in silence, thinking about Kara. It was night time in Afghanistan, she’d be fast asleep by now. they’d spoken for a moment on the train, but the signal had been so terrible that they’d had to cut their conversation short, much to both of their disappointment.

 

            The two of them walked into the living room, and Eliza looked up from her conversation with Maggie to smile at them. “I just made some coffee,” she told them, before returning to her conversation.

 

            “I’ll get it,” Lena murmured to Alex, walking into the kitchen to pull out two cups and fill them. She returned a minute later and sat down next to Alex, handing her one of the cups.

 

            “So, do you know what you’re doing yet?” Eliza asked Maggie.

 

            “Hm, well I don’t know yet. Probably something small,” Maggie replied.

 

            Lena frowned slightly in confusion. “What’s this for?”

 

            “Maggie’s birthday,” Alex told her.

 

            “Oh, you’ve never mentioned it to me. When is it?” Lena said, blinking in surprise. Of course she’d have to do something nice for her - buy her a present and all of that. She’d never had friends to do that for before and she was wondering what she could get her.

 

            “Two weeks Monday,” Maggie replied.

 

            “Ah,” Lena said, narrowing her eyes as she looked at her. What did Maggie like? Guns? Scotch? They weren’t presents. Unless Lena invented her own gun for her, but she didn’t have enough time to do it on such short notice.

 

            “What?” Maggie asked, narrowing her own eyes in return.

 

            Lena shrugged carelessly, taking a sip of her coffee. “Nothing … just thinking about what I can get you,” Lena said.

 

            Maggie laughed quietly, “you don’t have to get me anything.”

 

            “Of course I do, it’s your birthday,” Lena insisted. “What do you want? Another leather jacket to add to your collection? A balisong knife? Some other instrument of torture?”

 

            Alex laughed, widening her eyes as she shook her head. “No way, she does _not_ need more weapons.”

 

            “Fine,” Maggie huffed, “but one can never have too many leather jackets.”

 

            “If you could, I think you’d already have way too many,” Lena laughed. She had another gift in mind though, something that had come to her as they spoke. Smiling to herself, Lena smugly drank her coffee.

 

            “I for one, can’t wait for it. I love birthdays,” Alex said, smiling widely at Maggie.

 

            Lena scoffed at her words, and three pairs of eyes looked at her. “What? You don’t like birthdays?” Alex asked.

 

            “Not particularly,” Lena said, shrugging half-heartedly.

 

            “When is yours anyway? You never told us,” Maggie asked, her eyebrows expectantly.

 

            “Well I didn’t know yours until two minutes ago,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “And my birthday is a secret. I can’t have everyone knowing everything about me, I’ll lose my air of mystery.”

 

            “Mystery?” Maggie snorted. “You’re about as mysterious as a rock. You’re a broody, stubborn little shit, is what you are.”

 

            Lena made a noise of protest, scowling slightly. It was true though, she did have a habit of brooding and sulking, especially when she didn’t get her own way.

 

            “Oh how I’ve missed you all,” Eliza sighed, shaking her head at their bickering, even as she smiled. Eliza loved to have the house full, it made her happy to be surrounded by her girls. Even if one was missing.

 

            “I’m going to make something to eat. Is anyone hungry?” Alex asked, pushing herself up off the sofa.

 

            “Um, sure,” Lena agreed. “I’ll come help you.”

 

            The two of them walked into the kitchen, and Lena hovered near the sink as she watched Alex rummage around in the fridge for some food. “Hey,” Lena whispered, trying not to be overheard by Maggie.

 

            “Hm?” Alex mumbled, looking over her shoulder with raised eyebrows.

 

            “How long do you think you can get off work at such short notice?” Lena whispered.

 

            “I don’t know, a week? Two if I’m lucky,” Alex shrugged, turning back around to rummage in the fridge. She come out with an armful of things to make sandwiches, and dropped them on the counter. Lena pulled four plates out of the cupboard and the two of them set about making sandwiches.

 

            “So, um, if I was to pay for you and Maggie to go to Italy for her birthday, would you book work off for that?” Lena asked quietly.

 

            “What?!” Alex exclaimed, and Lena quickly hushed her.

 

            “Shh, keep your fucking voice down,” Lena hissed, peeking around Alex to see into the living room.

 

            “You want to pay for my girlfriend and I to go to _Italy_ for her birthday?” Alex muttered, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

 

            “Yeah. She’s always harping on about riding in my private jet, and well, it _is_ her birthday,” Lena shrugged. “I think she’d really like it.”

 

            “Of course she’d fucking like it! It’s a trip to _Italy!_ ” Alex said.

 

            “Why do you keep saying it like that?” Lena said, giving her an exasperated look.

 

            “Because it’s a trip to Italy!” Alex hissed at her. “That’s not a birthday present off a friend.”

 

            “Well what am I supposed to get her then? A book?” Lena quietly snorted.

 

            “Well that would be within a better price range,” Alex told her.

 

            “Oh come on,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “Is this really about money? Honestly, it won’t even be expensive. You can take my plane, and I’ll put you up in a villa. It’ll be fun.”

 

            Alex looked at her with uncertainty. “You say it won’t be expensive because to you it won’t be, but I’m not rich, Lena. I can’t afford to buy my girlfriend something that expensive, and I can’t expect you to do something like that for her.”

 

            “Oh, okay, I see your point. Sorry, I just thought it would be nice for you both,” Lena said.

 

            “It would!” Alex reassured her. “It’s very generous and thoughtful, so thank you. But I can’t let you spend that much money on a gift when we can’t repay it.”

 

            “But I was going to take you to Italy anyway, when Kara came home. I meant to keep my promise to Maggie, I just thought that this way, it’d have a meaning to it, and you could have a holiday by yourself,” Lena explained, shrugging slightly. “And I didn’t intend for you to repay it. It’s not a favour, it’s a gift.”

 

            “But why?” Alex asked, laughing quietly.

 

            “Look, to be honest I’ve never had to buy anyone presents before. Well I have for my family, but only as a child with my parent's own money, so that doesn’t count. I don’t know what’s acceptable. I don’t even know how much a banana costs for fuck’s sake,” Lena sighed. “You’re the only friends I have, which sounds really sad now that I’m saying it out loud, and I think that I should be allowed to spoil my friends, no?”

 

            “That _is_ really sad,” Alex laughed. “But you don’t _have_ to spoil friends, you know. That’s not what friendship is about. If it means that much to you though … if you’re sure, I know she would love it.”

 

            “Really? You’ll let me?” Lena asked, blinking in surprise as she smiled widely at Alex.

 

            “You’re acting as if you’re the one getting a free trip to Italy,” Alex laughed, reaching out to give Lena’s arm a gentle squeeze. “Thank you. I know she’ll love it.”

 

            Lena waved away her thanks, and smiling, she picked up two of the plates and walked back into the living room with Alex. Just before they walked into the room, Alex called out to her, and Lena turned around expectantly.

 

            “How much do you think a banana costs anyway?” she asked Lena with a smile.

 

            Lena tilted her head to the side as she considered the question, shrugging slightly as she replied. “I don’t know … like seven dollars?”

 

            Alex’s eyes widened and she let out a laugh full of disbelief. “Seven dollars? For one banana? Are you serious?”

 

            “Hey, what’s so funny?” Maggie called as Alex laughed even harder. The two of them re-emerged into the living room and handed the sandwiches to the other two.

 

            “Nothing’s funny,” Lena said defensively as she took in their expectant faces.

 

            “Tell them how much you think a single banana costs,” Alex told Lena, nudging her slightly.

 

            Rolling her eyes, Lena blushed slightly. “Well seeing as you’re laughing at me, I’m guessing it’s _not_ seven dollars?”

 

            “Seven dollars?” Eliza laughed, her eyebrows shooting up as she gave Lena a look of amusement. “What kind of bananas have you been buying?”

 

            “Okay, okay. I've never done my own grocery shopping. I have no clue how to be a normal person,” Lena sighed, picking up her sandwich and taking a bite to hide her embarrassment. “And you better not say anything or I’m revoking your birthday present.”

 

            Maggie, who was about to make some smart comment or joke, quickly closed her mouth, pressing her lips together. She gave Lena an innocent look, taking a bite out of her sandwich. “I wasn’t going to say anything,” she said defensively, “I’m very good at keeping my mouth shut. Remember last time we were here when you ha-“

 

            “No, I don’t recall,” Lena said loudly, cutting her off and shooting Maggie a warning look.

 

            “You mean the hickey on Lena’s neck?” Eliza asked, another look of amusement appearing on her face. She laughed as Lena’s mouth opened and her eyes went wide with horror.

 

            “What? You thought I didn’t notice?” Eliza asked, and Alex and Maggie joined in with her laughter as Lena turned bright red.

 

            “Well I was hoping not!” Lena said, burying her face in her hands. “Oh God, I’m so embarrassed. What a great first impression that was.”

 

            Eliza smiled as she looked at Lena. “And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. You were already nervous enough, there was no need to make it worse for you.”

 

            “Thanks,” Lena muttered. She was mortified that Eliza had seen the hickey on her neck, but she was grateful that she’d been kind enough not to bring it up until now. She was going to kill Maggie later on though.

 

\---

 

            They spent the rest of the afternoon chatting, and after dinner they found themselves back in the living room, watching some crime show that Alex had put on.

 

            “Hey, Luthor,” Alex said. Lena tore her attention away from the screen and looked over at Alex, where she was curled up next to Maggie.

 

            “Mm?” she hummed in reply, delicately arching an eyebrow.

 

            “I bet you twenty dollars it was the next door neighbour,” Alex told her with a grin, which turned into a laugh as Lena flipped her off, trying to be sneaky so Eliza didn’t see it. Smiling, she turned her attention back to the TV, waiting to find out who the killer was.

 

            Lena let out a loud groan as Alex turned out to be right, again. “It’s a good thing I stopped agreeing to your bets,” Lena laughed.

 

            “You make up for it in poker,” Maggie told her as she stood up. “Who wants coffee? Or tea?”

 

            “Tea please,” Lena said, stifling a yawn as Alex and Eliza gave Maggie their own answers.

 

            “Tired sweetie?” Eliza asked as Lena rubbed at her eyes.

 

            “Mm, I was up all night doing paperwork,” Lena mumbled, “I forgot to sleep.”

 

            Eliza tutted, shaking her head at Lena. “That’s no good. You shouldn’t overwork yourself, honey, it’s not good for you.”

 

            “I’m fine. I was just trying to get ahead of things so I didn’t have to do work when I was here,” Lena said, brushing Eliza’s concern away.

 

            But not long after, Lena found herself struggling to keep her eyes open she listened to Alex and Maggie argue about the mermaid conspiracy theory documentary they were watching.

 

            She blinked rapidly, trying to wake herself up, as Eliza’s arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled Lena closer, resting her head on Eliza’s shoulder. Lena mumbled something intelligible as she curled up next to Eliza, and before long she was dozing quietly on the sofa.

 

            A muffled laugh woke her up, and blinking in confusion, Lena sat upright. She frowned at Alex and Maggie as she saw them both staring at her with grins on their faces. “What?” Lena mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

 

            “You were talking in your sleep,” Alex told her.

 

            “Oh God,” Lena sighed, “what did I say?”

 

            “You said “ohhhh fuck dude” and then you grabbed Eliza by the shoulders and told her she doesn’t know what’s out there, before putting your head back on her shoulder and telling us they walk on the bottom and they have fish heads,” Maggie laughed.

 

            “You frightened the life out of me at first,” Eliza said, stroking Lena’s hair. “I didn’t realise you talked in your sleep.”

 

            “Neither did I,” Lena admitted as her cheeks warmed slightly. “Kara conveniently forgot to tell me until last week.”

 

            “Hold on a second, I want to hear more about these fish head things,” Maggie said, looking at Lena expectantly.

 

            “I don’t know, I was asleep,” Lena said, frowning slightly. “Was I talking about the mermaids? It seems the most logical explanation.”

 

            “How?” Alex asked, giving Lena a dubious look.

 

            “I don’t know, it just seems like everyone expects mermaids to have human heads and fish tails. Maybe it’s the opposite. It would make more sense from an evolutionary standpoint to assume they had a fish head with gills so they can breathe underwater, and then like legs to walk along the ocean floor,” Lena explained with a shrug.

 

            “Oh God, _please_ don’t tell me you’re one of those conspiracy theory freaks,” Maggie groaned.

 

            “That’s actually a good point about evolution,” Eliza said, before laughing, “but I'm curious; just how much thought have you given this?”

 

            “A little,” Lena admitted after a slight pause. Another reason why she’d always hated fairy tales and myths was because she could never see the logic in them. As a scientifically minded person she found it hard to believe that a mermaid would look inhumanly beautiful with a twelve-pack.

 

            "Of  _course_ you have, you little nerd," Maggie said, rolling her eyes at Lena.

 

            "Hey, you're the one who asked me to put it on and just had a twenty minute debate about whether they're real or not," Alex reminded Maggie, laughing as she poked her in the side.

 

            “Well I think you’ve had enough conspiracy theories tonight. Come on, time for bed,” Eliza told Lena, patting her on the arm. With a sigh, Lena gave in, climbing to her feet as she yawned.

 

            “Aw, did the baby stay up past her bedtime?” Maggie teased her from the sofa, and Alex bit back a smile. Lena rolled her eyes, used to the age jokes but also wondering if they’d ever let them go; she really wasn't  _that_ young.

 

            “Goodnight,” Lena mumbled as she shuffled out of the room, pausing to pet Athena before walking upstairs. Opening the door to Kara’s room, Lena flicked the light on and quickly changed into some pyjamas. Before climbing into bed, she opened her locket and smiled down at the picture of Kara.

 

\---

 

            Lena woke up early the next morning, even though she was running on a lack of sleep. She’d always thought sleep was a waste of time, and no matter how little sleep she had, she would always rather be up doing something productive.

 

            As quiet as possible, she trudged downstairs, picking up a blanket from the living room before walking out onto the back porch with Athena. It was just starting to get light outside, and it reminded Lena of the last time she sat out the back, watching the sunrise while Eliza comforted her as she cried. Things were different now, and Lena found herself crying for a different reason.

 

            This time she cried because she missed Kara. It felt strange to be here without her and Lena wished that she could be safe upstairs, still sleeping and far away from any war. Her tears didn’t last long and she sat there cuddling Athena as she watched the tide go out.

 

            Lena stared straight ahead as she listened to the wind chimes tinkling in the slight breeze, and the sound of the waves gently breaking on the shore. Lost in her own thoughts, Lena didn’t hear the door open, and jumped slightly when she felt something nudge her.

 

            Lena looked up at the cup of coffee held near her shoulder, before turning her gaze upwards to look at Maggie. She took the cup off her and mumbled her thanks, offering Maggie some of the blanket as she sat down next to Lena on the porch steps.

 

            “Are you alright?” Maggie asked after a moment, scratching Athena under the chin as she walked over to Maggie, wagging her tail as she basked in the attention.

 

            “Yeah. My eyes are just sore,” Lena lied, wincing as the words came out. It was a terrible lie, who would ever believe that? She sighed as she waited for Maggie to make a joke, but was met with silence as Maggie sipped at her coffee.

 

            “I used to get sore eyes too, when I was younger,” Maggie said after a moment. “We have a lot in common, you know.”

 

            “Yeah, we’re both assholes,” Lena laughed quietly, and Maggie joined in before turning serious.

 

            “I mean it though. I was kicked out of home at fourteen, you know. I was outed and my parents kicked me out, and I know that’s different to what you went through with your family, but it was just as painful. I lived with an aunt for a while, but it was never the same, you know. I just wanted a family that accepted and loved me. And I know what it’s like to fall in love with a Danvers, and to find a home here. I don’t think they truly get it; they don’t really understand what it’s like to have a family when you’ve never had one. How much it means.”

 

            “I’m sorry,” Lena whispered. She couldn’t think of anything else to say. There were no comforting words that would make it okay, and she knew Maggie wouldn’t want condescending fake words full of hope.

 

            “It’s … whatever. It still hurts sometimes, but you understand that, right? I have to say though, I’m happy for you, that you have the chance to work things out with your mom. I know it must be hard for you to do that, and well … I know I take the piss out of you all the time, but you’re a pretty strong person, Luthor. Especially with Kara. She’s the sweet little sister I never had, and I worry about her too, so I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. But like I said, you’re a strong person. It’ll all work out.”

 

            “Thanks Maggie,” Lena said, nudging her with her elbow. Maggie might be a pain in the ass sometimes, but Lena genuinely liked her, and she was glad, if not surprised, that she’d opened up to Lena. And she was right too; they were more alike than Lena knew, and Lena was grateful that there was someone who knew how much it meant to have been welcomed into the Danvers family with open arms.

 

            “God, you’re so annoying. You’re the annoying little sister I never had,” Maggie said, gently pushing Lena back as she laughed. “Come on, I’m making pancakes.”

 

            Lena drained the rest of her coffee and stood up, following Maggie inside.


	33. Chapter 33

            “Happy birthday!” Lena said as the video connected.

 

 _“Thanks! I love the leather jacket,”_ Maggie said, flashing her dimples at Lena as she smiled widely. _“But you know what I love even more? We’re in Italy!”_

 

            Lena laughed at her enthusiasm. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

 

 _“It’s amazing!”_ Alex said.

 

 _“Thank you, really, we’re having such a great time,”_ Maggie told Lena. _“I might just stay here and keep your jet.”_

 

            “It’s yours anytime you want it, Sawyer,” Lena replied as she laughed. They were halfway through their holiday, and Lena hated to admit it, but she missed them. With Alex and Maggie gone, she was all alone in National City, and after their stay in Midvale, Lena found it even more lonely to have no one around.

 

 _“I take back any mean thing I said to you. I promise I’ll never say a bad word against you ever again,”_ Maggie said, smiling brightly at Lena.

 

            Lena quietly laughed. “And I was just starting to enjoy our bickering.”

 

 _“Don’t take her seriously, she’s only saying that because she’s on holiday,”_ Alex said as she laughed. _“You’ll probably be at each other’s throats the moment we get back.”_

 

            “At least I’ll have someone to talk to that’s _not_ a dog,” Lena sighed.

 

 _“How’re you doing? You good?”_ Alex asked, giving Lena a small smile. _“You know you can always go and stay with mom, I know she’d love the company.”_

 

            “I’m fine, I’ve been getting a lot of work done without your bad influences distracting me,” Lena laughed.

 

 _“Christ, Luthor, don’t you ever take a break? You should’ve come with us. You might’ve actually relaxed for once,”_ Maggie said, rolling her eyes.

 

            “Yeah I’m sure crashing your romantic getaway would’ve been _so_ relaxing,” Lena laughed, rolling her eyes in return. “Anyway, you two should get going or you’ll miss your reservations.”

 

 _“Reservations?”_ Alex asked, frowning in confusion.

 

            “Oh, did I forget to tell you?” Lena smirked. “I made reservations for you at La Pergola for six. It’s the only restaurant in Rome with three Michelin stars, so the food is divine, as you can imagine. I'ts on me, of course. A thank you gift for the two of you for everything you’ve done for me, you know, with Kara and everything else.”

 

 _“Oh shit, are you serious?!”_  Alex exclaimed excitedly.

 

            "Yes, now go and get ready or you'll miss you reservation. Enjoy the rest of your birthday, and holiday, and I’ll speak to you when you get back,” Lena told them both. 

 

 _“Thank you, Lena, really,”_ Maggie brightly smiled at her.

 

            “Shit, you _do_ mean it; you called me by my first name,” Lena laughed, and Maggie rolled her eyes in the background as Alex focused the camera on herself and thanked Lena too. Hanging up, Lena turned her attention back to her work for the time being. She was expecting a call off Kara soon.

 

            Jess brought in Lena’s lunch for her, leaving it on her desk as Lena mumbled her thanks. Lena tore her gaze away from her computer as Jess hovered near the table, and arched one eyebrow at her assistant.

 

            “What is it?” Lena asked.

 

            “Oh, um, sorry Miss Luthor, it’s just that, Robert – your driver – he had to go home sick and I, uh, can’t find a replacement to take you home tonight,” Jess explained apologetically.

 

            “It’s fine,” Lena reassured her. “I’ll make my own way home.”

 

            “Are you sure, ma’am? You have that late meeting tonight,” Jess reminded her.

 

            “Fuck,” Lena muttered. “Excuse me. Thank you for reminding me, I’m sure I’ll manage though. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Her laptop had started ringing as a video call came through off Kara, and Lena smiled as she accepted it.

 

 _“Hey!”_ Kara smiled at her widely. _“How’s my girl.”_

 

            “Missing you, but otherwise, very well. How’re you?” Lena smiled at her, resting her head on her hand as she gazed at Kara.

 

 _“Tired,”_ Kara admitted, giving Lena a weary smile.

 

            “Mm, you look like you haven’t slept all night,” Lena noted, frowning in concern.

 

            Her smile faltered slightly and Kara’s eyes were shining slightly as she whispered, _“I, uh, there was an ambush last night, on one of the missions. It’ll be all over the news soon. We lost some soldiers, i-it was bad.”_

            Lena’s breathing hitched as panic set in. “Were you on this mission? Are you okay? W-what can I do?” she rambled, itching to do something. That was the worst part – she was stuck here, and she couldn’t do _anything_.

 

 _“I’m fine. I-, my guys, I got them all out. We were lucky,”_ Kara said, smiling grimly, even though her eyes were full of the pain she was trying to hide.

 

            “I hate this!” Lena exclaimed, curling and uncurling her hands into fists as she felt her frustration rise up.

 

 _“Hey, it’s okay,”_ Kara murmured soothingly.

 

            “No! It’s not okay, Kara!” Lena said, her voice rising. “It’s not-” She broke off as her voice cracked and tears pricked her eyes.

 

            “None of this is okay,” Lena choked out. “I don’t want to hear about how you could’ve died last night.”

 

 _“What, do you want me to lie to you?”_ Kara asked, a flicker of hurt flashing across her face.

 

            “No!” Lena shouted. “I want you to come home!” she banged her hands down on her desk as she said those last words, accidentally catching the edge of her bowl and sending the salad sailing past her.

 

 _“W-was that salad?”_ Kara asked after a slight pause, her lips curling up at the corners.

 

            “Yeah, I, uh, accidentally knocked my lunch,” Lena tearfully said, blinking in surprise as Kara laughed. “What?”

 

 _“Sorry, it’s just … that looked like something out of a cartoon,”_ Kara laughed again, and Lena sighed, cracking a smile as she ran her hands through her hair.

 

            “I’m sorry,” Lena said quietly, her shoulders sagging as she sighed in defeat. “I didn’t mean to take my frustration out on you. I just … I worry about you, every moment of every day.”

 

 _“No, it’s fine,”_ Kara said, giving her a small smile.

 

            “It’s not fine, Kara. I shouldn’t blame you for doing your job,” Lena told her, “I promised you I wouldn’t let it come between us, and it won’t, but I just don’t like having to hear about you putting yourself in danger all the time. I feel like you might think I'm blaming you every time I complain about you being away,but I'm not, so I'm sorry if it feels that way.”

 

 _“If I say I accept your apolo_ gy _will_ _you_ _feel_ _better?”_ Kara asked, grinning at Lena. _“I don’t blame you though. It’s okay for you to vent your frustration, that’s what I’m here for.”_

            “What, to listen to me complain about how I’m sat safely in my multi-billion-dollar company missing my girlfriend, when you have it so much worse?” Lena asked, arching an eyebrow.

 

 _“It’s not a competition, and danger doesn’t mean I miss you more that you miss me. I mean, I’m willing to say I do, but I feel like that’s debateable and you’re better at debating,”_ Kara laughed, and Lena smiled smugly.

 

            “Well I’m glad my skills from the debate team still come in handy,” Lena said.

 

 _“And your stubbornness,”_ Kara reminded her. _“Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall.”_

            “Would you believe that I used to be even more stubborn?”

 

 _“I mean, you’re already impossibly stubborn, but we all know you have a soft spot for me, so yeah I can imagine it,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “Soft spot for you? Who’s been gossiping about me?” Lena gasped, smiling at Kara. “I guess they’re onto something there. I’d do anything for you.”

 

 _“Oh really? So if I asked you to bring me the stars, you would?”_ Kara asked, narrowing her eyes slightly.

 

            “No, that’s a ridiculous request and completely illogical, stars are _way_ too big to bring you all of them,” Lena scoffed. “Something more reasonable though; perhaps one star? Maybe you’d prefer a small island, or a city.”

 

 _“An island, huh? I could fulfil my childhood dream of being a princess,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “Of _course_ that was your childhood dream,” Lena sighed, rolling her eyes dramatically.

 

 _“Oh please, as if you never dreamt about that,”_ Kara said.

 

            “Of course I didn’t … I wanted to be queen,” Lena admitted, laughing quietly.

 

\---

 

            It was almost ten o’clock when Lena left the office, and she had half a mind to catch a cab but decided to take advantage of the cool night air. She set off in the direction of her apartment, looking down at her phone as she read her emails. She had one off Kara, just three words telling Lena that she loved her, and Lena smiled as she read the words. As she approached a dark alley, a man stepped out and said something, holding something out towards her. Lost in her own world, Lena didn’t register the words.

 

            “No thank you,” she said, not looking up from her phone to acknowledge whatever cause he was trying to get her to donate to or flyer he was trying to hand to her. A tight grip on her arm pulled her out of her thoughts, and Lena’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as she was roughly pulled into the mouth of the dimly lit alley.

 

            “I said give me your fucking bag,” the man said, momentarily letting go of her.

 

            “Get fucked,” Lena swore at him, before catching the glint of a knife clutched in his hand.

 

            “What’re you going to do?” Lena laughed incredulously, raising her eyebrows tauntingly as she looked at the guy stood in front of her. “Stab me?”

 

            She let out a small gasp of surprise at the sharp pain in her abdomen as the guy plunged his knife in and out in one fluid motion. Lena clutched her stomach with one hand, feeling the warmth of her blood as it covered her hand. She didn’t resist as the man wrestled her bag off her shoulder, before darting off down the alley. Lena sank to the floor of the alleyway, pressing her hand tightly to the wound as it throbbed, sending a wave of pain through her body. Shaking slightly, Lena raised her phone, which was still clutched in her hand. Bringing up the keypad, Lena dialled nine one one, her voice trembling as she spoke.

 

            “Hello? Yes, I-I’ve, uh, just been stabbed. I’m in an alleyway, I-I don’t know w-which one. It’s a few blocks east of L-Corp.”

 

            Shivering in the cold air, Lena pushed herself up and stumbled to the mouth of the alleyway, before slumping against the side of the building. Slowly, she sank down to the floor again, her breathing becoming shallow as her vision darkened slightly. She wasn’t sure if it was the shock, but Lena started laughing, thinking about how she’d been telling Kara she was safe here in National City just a few hours ago.

 

\---

 

            Lena let out a small groan as her eyes fluttered open to a white ceiling, before half-shutting again. Her brain felt slow, and her limbs heavy as she lay back against the pillows. A flash of movement caught her eye and Lena opened her eyes fully, catching a glimpse of blonde hair.

 

            “Kara?” she mumbled, her forehead creasing as she frowned.

 

            “No, sweetie, it’s Eliza.”

 

            “Eliza? What’re you doing here?” Lena asked, trying to focus on the woman’s face.

 

            “You were stabbed, honey,” Eliza told her, and Lena let out a weak laugh.

 

            “I know. That son of a bitch mugged me,” Lena sighed, smiling as Eliza’s face came into focus. The older woman looked tired, like she hadn’t slept in a while, and Lena frowned. “You look tired.”

 

            Eliza let out a quiet laugh, stroking Lena’s hair as she sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’m fine, love. You just had me worried, is all,” Eliza murmured.

 

            “Sorry,” Lena mumbled. “I didn’t expect you to be here.”

 

            “Well of course I would. I had to make sure they were looking after you properly” Eliza smiled down at her. “Your mom’s on her way here too, she shouldn’t be that much longer.”

 

            “My mom? How does she know?” Lena frowned in confusion, her brain struggling to keep track of everything.

 

            “They found you in the alley, they didn’t recognise you at first, so they checked your phone, but they couldn’t get past your passcode. You have your medical ID filled in though, so they tried calling Kara for you, but she didn’t answer, so they tried Alex next. She called me, and I hopped on the first flight here. I didn’t want you to wake up alone. Then I cracked your passcode and called your mom. I hope that’s okay,” Eliza explained.

 

            “Mm, thank you,” Lena whispered, giving Eliza a drowsy smile.

 

            “No problem, sweetheart,” Eliza said, smiling back grimly. She got up off the bed and walked over to the door, poking her head outside and softly calling for a doctor. One followed her inside a moment later, giving Lena a warm smile.

 

            “Hi Lena, I’m Doctor Barnes,” the woman said, approaching the bed. “Do you mind if I take a look at you?”

 

            Lena mumbled her consent, and the doctor pulled her stethoscope from around her neck to check Lena’s heart and lungs, even though the machine was beeping steadily next to the bed. Gently laying Lena back against the pillows, Doctor Barnes pulled the blankets down and lifted the hospital gown up to reveal the dressing on the wound.

 

            Eliza held Lena’s hand as her stitches were inspected and the dressing changed, giving her a reassuring smile. “Are you experiencing any pain or discomfort?” Doctor Barnes asked Lena as she filled out her chart.

 

            “No, I can’t feel anything. I feel sleepy,” Lena mumbled.

 

            “That’s from the morphine,” she informed Lena.

 

            “No drugs,” Lena murmured, frowning slightly. She’d never liked drugs; she didn’t like the drowsiness that usually accompanied them, or the way they made her mind sluggish.

 

            “Sweetie, they’ll help keep the pain away,” Eliza told her. “You need your rest, and you can’t do that if you’re in pain.”

 

            “Mm, I need to go home,” Lena replied, “I have work. I need to talk to Kara. Kara. Oh God, does she know?” Lena weakly pushed herself up, struggling against her uncooperative limbs. She hissed as a sharp pain shot through her stomach, and Eliza gently, but firmly, guided her back down against the pillows.

 

            “You’re not going anywhere, honey,” she laughed quietly, brushing the hair out of Lena’s face and stroking her cheek. “Kara doesn’t know yet, she’s at work right now so she won’t have her phone. I’ll let her know as soon as she gets off, okay?”

 

            “Promise?” Lena asked, her eyes fluttering closed.

 

            “Yeah, I promise. You just rest,” Eliza whispered, kissing her on the forehead.

 

            Lena dozed lightly whilst Eliza talked with the doctor, who left not long after, leaving them alone. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed by the time she came around again, but she noticed that Eliza wasn’t in the room. Turning her head to the side, Lena stared out the window that looked out onto the nurse’s station outside her room. As she stared, her mom came into view, talking to Eliza, and a moment later they turned towards the door to Lena’s room.

 

            “Lena!” Lillian quietly exclaimed, letting out a sigh of relief as she rushed over to her daughter’s side. “Oh God, you’ve had me worried sick!”

 

            “Mom,” Lena murmured as she smiled slightly.

 

            “Sorry I took so long to get here, I missed Eliza’s call, but I came as fast as I could,” Lillian explained, giving her a grim smile as her eyes shone with tears.

 

            “I’m going to get some coffee, would you like some, Lillian?” Eliza asked, hovering nearby.

 

            “That would be lovely, thank you,” Lillian said, smiling at her.

 

            “Can I have some coffee?” Lena asked hopefully.

 

            “I don’t think they’ll let you have some just yet, honey, but I’ll ask them if they can bring you something to eat,” Eliza said, giving her hand a squeeze before walking out of the room.

 

            “She seems nice,” Lillian told Lena as the door shut.

 

            “Mm, she is,” Lena mumbled in agreement, struggling to sit more upright.

 

            “Hey, easy now, you shouldn’t overexert yourself,” Lillian fretted, her hands fluttering nervously as she reached out towards Lena, stopping just short of touching her. “How’re you feeling?”

 

            “Fine,” Lena muttered, making herself comfortable as she sat up slightly. The last dose of morphine was wearing off and she was more alert, even if the dulled pain was slightly uncomfortable. “I just want to go home.”

 

            “Of course you do,” Lillian laughed. “You always did hate hospitals.”

 

            “Yeah, they’re where you’d disappear to for days to get away from home,” Lena laughed, groaning quietly as pain shot through her.

 

            “Shh, it’s okay,” Lillian murmured, stroking Lena’s hair. “I know it hurts.”

 

            “Yeah? How many times have you been stabbed?” Lena asked, wincing as her laughter brought on another round of pain again.

 

            Lillian rolled her eyes, shooting her daughter an exasperated look. “Okay, fine. I’ve never been stabbed, but then again, I’ve never been stupid enough to walk through a city alone in the middle of the night. Honestly Lena, what were you thinking?”

 

            Lena sighed as her mom scolded her, throwing her head back against the pillows as she groaned. “Do you really have to lecture me right now? I mean, I _was_ just stabbed,” Lena sighed again.

 

            Lillian tutted, rolling her eyes. “I’m well aware. I’ve just spent the last four hours worried sick out of my mind. I … I thought I was going to lose you too.”

 

            “Please. I’m too stubborn to die from a tiny knife wound like this,” Lena snorted softly. “Maybe next time I’ll avoid being sarcastic though, it might save me some pain.”

 

            “Sarcasm? Oh God, what did you do?” Lillian asked, closing her eyes as she sighed heavily.

 

            “Up to more trouble are you, dear?” Eliza asked, smiling as she walked back in and handed Lillian a cup of coffee from the hospital’s cafeteria.

 

            “Thank you,” Lillian told her, taking a sip of the cheap coffee.

 

            “Well it wasn’t my fault,” Lena said defensively as she frowned. “He pulled a knife on me and I laughed at him and asked him if he was seriously going to stab me, I didn’t think he actually _would_.”

 

            “Lena!” Lillian exclaimed. “Honestly, do you have any common sense? You’re not supposed to _provoke_ someone who’s mugging you!”

 

            “You could’ve been seriously injured. What if he’d had a gun?” Eliza chimed in, pulling a chair up to the other side of the bed.

 

            “Oh great, now I have two moms to lecture me,” Lena sighed dramatically.

 

            “Well maybe you’ll finally listen,” Lillian told her, shaking her head as she looked at Eliza. “Are your girls this bad?”

 

            “Well, I have one in the army and one in the FBI, so I think they both have an unhealthy obsession with looking for danger. It makes my nerves bad just thinking about it,” Eliza sighed, drinking her coffee. “I don’t think they provoke people who are trying to attack them though, because that would be a very stupid thing to do, right Lena?”

 

            Lena had the decency to look guilty as Eliza gave her a reproachful look. “Sorry Eliza, I didn’t mean to, I promise.”

 

            She laughed quietly, stroking the hair out of Lena’s face as she shook her head. A vibrating sound floated above the sounds of the machine whirring and beeping, and Eliza reached for Lena’s phone on the nightstand.

 

            “It’s Kara,” she told Lena, giving her a small smile. “I’ll go and fill her in on what happened.” Lena nodded, smiling back at Eliza as she stood up and walked out of the room.

 

            “She cares about you,” Lillian said, turning to face Lena.

 

            “Yeah, she does,” Lena mumbled in agreement.

 

            “I’m glad that you have her too,” Lillian said, smiling at Lena as she stroked the side of her face. “You’ve made a home for yourself here … or should I say, with this family. I-, well, I’m happy that you have the family you always deserved.”

 

            “Mm, I’m happy too,” Lena agreed. “And thanks for coming. I, uh, I thought I’d wake up alone.”

 

            Lillian softly sighed as she tilted her head to the side and gave Lena a small smile. “Of course I would come. After everything, of course I would be here.”

 

            “Yeah, I guess I just wasn’t sure … you know, with everyone gone,” Lena muttered.

 

            “You have more people who care about you than you know,” Lillian told her, giving Lena’s hand a quick squeeze. She didn’t let go of Lena’s hand afterwards, and she soothingly rubbed the back of it as she stared at Lena’s face.

 

            “Aren’t you going to tell me I look like shit?” Lena asked, laughing quietly to herself as she stared back at Lillian.

 

            “Well I would put it more eloquently, but yes, you do,” Lillian smiled at her.

 

            “Mm, yeah you always said it so eloquently,” Lena mused.

 

            “Oh come on, Lena. You can’t think that multiple piercings and clothes that were mostly holes were a good look,” Lillian said as she rolled her eyes.

 

            Lena laughed quietly, “I mean, _I_ liked it … but I liked getting a rise out of you even more. I guess I just wanted your attention, even if it was your criticism.”

 

            “You used to drive me up the walls, I never knew what to do with you,” Lillian sighed. “I still don’t.”

 

            “That’s only because you don’t know who I am,” Lena told her, shrugging slightly. “The other week I realised that we don’t really know much about each other.”

 

            “You’re right, but I wish that wasn’t true,” Lillian murmured. “And I don’t want to lose you before I can get you back.”

 

            “Wouldn’t that just be our luck, huh? Right when we start to patch things up, I die.” Lena laughed, before dissolving into a coughing fit. Lillian leapt up from her chair and poured Lena a cup of water, propping her up as she helped Lena take a sip.

 

            “Thanks,” Lena muttered. She looked past Lillian as the door opened and Eliza walked back in, smiling at Lena over the top of the phone.

 

            “Someone wants to talk to you,” she told Lena, walking over to the bed and handing her the phone. And there was Kara; puffy eyed from crying and a worried expression on her face that quickly gave way to a smile of relief.

 

 _“Oh god, oh my God, you’re okay aren’t you?”_ Kara breathlessly sobbed.

 

            “Hey,” Lena smiled at her. “I’m fine, really.”

 

            “We’ll wait outside,” Lillian murmured, giving Lena’s shoulder a small squeeze before standing up and walking out of the room with Eliza so she could have some privacy with Kara.

 

 _“Oh God, I can’t believe I didn’t know you were in the hospital. I’m so sorry,”_ Kara cried, wiping her eyes as she stared intently at the screen. _“I’m so sorry, Lena.”_

 

            “Shh, don’t blame yourself,” Lena told her. “I’m fine, really, it’s just a little cut. I’m trying to get them to let me out already.”

 

 _“A little cut?!”_ Kara exclaimed, laughing hysterically. _“Lena, people die from stab wounds. Even little ones.”_

 

            “Well yeah, but people die from the common cold too, Kara,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “I promise you, I’m fine. Please don’t worry.”

 

 _“Don’t worry? That’s a stupid thing to say, isn’t it? God, is this how you feel all the time?”_ Kara asked, running a shaky hand through her hair.

 

            “Mm, probably,” Lena admitted, giving her a smile. “I think I have it worse though. I have to worry every day.”

 

 _“I’m sorry. I’ve put in a request for some leave, so I’ll be home as soon as possible,”_ Kara told her, giving her a weak smile.

 

            “What? No! Kara, you can’t just come home because I got _stabbed_ ,” Lena told her, frowning slightly.

 

 _“I want to take care of you though,”_ Kara told her, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she frowned back at her. _“Don’t you want to see me?”_

 

            Lena let out a small laugh and her eyes stung as tears threatened to fill them. “Of course I do. More than anything in the world. I just-, I’ll be out of here as soon as possible, and I don’t want you to come home to sit in my apartment doing nothing. I want to make the most of our time together when you come home. I don’t want you to waste it on something like this.”

 

 _“Lena, they found you bleeding in an alleyway and they didn’t even know who you were. You could’ve died and I wouldn’t have even known,”_ Kara said, her mouth set in a grim line.

 

            “Okay, that’s a bit dramatic,” Lena laughed, trying not to show the pain as a spasm shot through her body. “It’s only been like two and a half months almost. If you come home now, I don’t think I’ll be able to wait over six months to see you again.”

 

 _“I know … but I should be there,”_ Kara whispered, all of the fight draining out of her. _“I hate that I’m not there. I should be feeding you ice chips and jello and making sure you have warm socks because I know hospitals can get really cold.”_

 

            Lena laughed as Kara rambled, listing another dozen things she should be there to do. “I think most importantly; you should be here so I know _you’re_ safe. Like permanently be here. But, you have to finish your tour first, I can’t have you being court-martialed on me. That would ruin all my plans.”

 

 _“You have plans?”_ Kara asked, smiling slightly. _“Would you mind sharing?”_

 

            “Hmm, maybe in the future,” Lena said, grinning at Kara. “But for now, you need to stay where you are, _and_ stay safe. I have my mom and your mom here with me, so I’m fine. To be honest, that’s two more people than I expected to be here, so I’m happy.”

 

 _“Alex and Maggie will be home in a few days, I’m sure they’ll come and save you from boredom,”_ Kara smiled.

 

            “Maybe I should’ve listened when they tried to get me to go with them,” Lena laughed. “Would’ve saved me some trouble.”

 

 _“I’m just glad you didn’t try and fight him,”_ Kara said.

 

            “I would’ve, but I was too busy being sarcastic to see the knife coming. Otherwise you _know_ I would’ve fought dirty. I am a Luthor after all,” Lena laughed.

 

 _“I wouldn’t be surprised,”_ Kara sighed. _“What am I going to do with you? I’m going to have to ask my mom to keep an extra eye on you, before someone starts poking more holes in you.”_

            “She’s already given me a good telling off along with my mom,” Lena told her, smiling as she she shook her head. “I feel like I’m fifteen again.”

 

 _“Not that far off,”_ Kara laughed. _“Our moms though … that’s weird.”_

 

            “Yeah, I’m not sure what I’ve missed but they seem to be getting along okay. I’m not sure how I feel about it though … my mom can be quite vindictive and bitchy, I’m a bit worried about what she might say to Eliza,” Lena said, frowning slightly.

 

 _“My mom’s very maternal, she won’t take any nonsense off Lillian, especially if it’s about you,”_ Kara told Lena, smiling with amusement. _“Don’t worry about them. I’m sure your mom is playing nice.”_

 

            “I hope so,” Lena murmured. “I guess she’s only ever been overly critical with me though. For the most part, they’ve just been talking about medical stuff with the other doctors, from what I’ve overheard.”

 

 _“Oh no,”_ Kara laughed, _“the only thing worse than a doctor being a patient is two doctors helicopter doctoring – if that’s a thing. They’re probably driving the doctor’s crazy, trying to tell them how to look after you.”_

 

            “If they’re acting anything like my mom was the time Lex broke his arm, I feel sorry for the doctor’s. Especially if they have to deal with the _two_ of them,” Lena laughed, turning to look through the blinds. She could see the two women in deep conversation with Lena’s doctor.

 

\---

 

            Lena slowly spooned some red jello into her mouth, grimacing at the bad taste. Sighing, she put it back on her tray and collapsed back against her pillows. The latest dose of morphine was starting to make her feel drowsy, and she was struggling to keep her eyes open.

 

            “You need to eat more than that, honey,” Eliza said.

 

            “It doesn’t taste good,” Lena slowly mumbled, frowning slightly.

 

            “Do you want me to go and get you something? D-do you have a favourite takeaway place?” Lillian asked, raising her eyebrows expectantly. Lena shrugged, blinking slowly as she looked at her mom.

 

            “Whatever you want, just let me know and I’ll get it,” Lillian assured her. “How about sushi? Do you still like sushi?”

 

            “Mm, yeah I do. Sushi sounds good,” Lena mumbled, giving Lillian a smile.

 

            “Okay, I’ll go and get you some,” Lillian said, smiling as she stood up.

 

            “Would you like me to go so you can stay with Lena?” Eliza asked.

 

            “Thank you, but it’s fine. I’ll be back soon,” Lillian said, pausing to stroke Lena’s hair before walking out the door. Lena turned her head to the other side to look at Eliza, and gave her a smile.

 

            “How’re you feeling, sweetie?” Eliza asked, giving Lena’s hand a squeeze.

 

            “I don’t like the morphine,” Lena sighed, grimacing slightly.

 

            Eliza let out a quiet laugh, pulling the blankets up under Lena’s chin. “I know, honey, but it’s better for you if you’re not in pain. You should get some sleep while your mom is gone.”

 

            “I don’t like sleeping,” Lena softly sighed, shutting her eyes as she frowned. She opened them again when she felt Eliza’s warm fingers brush her hair back, and Lena gave her a small smile.

 

            “I’ve figured that out myself. You're always staying up too late,” Eliza smiled. “It sounds like you’ve always been stubborn.”

 

            “You’ve been talking to my mum,” Lena said, laughing to herself. “What’d she say? I was a stubborn, foolish, arrogant teenager? It’s mostly true, but I don’t think I’m being arrogant when I say I’m smarter than almost every one else, I'm just being honest.”

 

            Eliza pressed her lips together to stifle her laughter. “I did talk to your mom, and she did say you were stubborn and foolish, but I think that’s because you got stabbed and worried her half to death. She loves you, you know.”

 

            “Mmm, I never used to see it,” Lena said. “She’s changed, you know. Well, you obviously don’t know, but she has. My dad and my brother dying … it’s changed her a lot. Or her behaviour towards me at least. I’m scared.”

 

            “It’s okay to be scared, sweetheart. It takes time to fix something that’s broken, but you’ve come so far already. If you’re scared about losing her again though, you won’t be alone like you were last time,” Eliza reassured her.

 

            “I know,” Lena sighed heavily. “I have a new family now. It’ll all be okay.”

 

            “Mhm, exactly. I won’t let anyone hurt you. No one messes with my girls,” Eliza laughed quietly, leaning forward to give Lena a kiss on the forehead. “Now, you need to rest.”

 

            “Okay Eliza,” Lena mumbled, shutting her eyes and giving into the drowsiness that was threatening to pull her under.

 

            She wasn’t sure how long she was asleep for, but the next time she opened her eyes she was alone with Eliza, so Lena assumed it hadn’t been for more than a few minutes. As Eliza picked up her phone, Lena realised the vibrating was what had woken her up.

 

 _“Hi mom,”_ Alex’s voice called out from the video call. _“How is she? Is she awake?”_

 

            “Hi sweetie,” Eliza whispered. “She’s good, she just fell asleep, finally.”

 

            “Mm,” Lena groaned, turning her head to look at Eliza. “I’m awake.”

 

            Eliza jumped slightly at Lena’s words, “oh, sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.”

 

            “No, I’m okay,” Lena said, struggling to sit up. “The drugs are trying to trick me into sleeping.”

 

 _“Are you sure she’s not sleep talking again? That sounds like some paranoid thing she would say in her sleep,”_ Maggie’s voice came from the phone, and Lena let out a small laugh.

 

            “I’m laughing at your joke, I must still be sleeping,” Lena quietly laughed to herself.

 

            “Here, you talk to them,” Eliza said, handing Lena her phone. Blinking slowly, Lena brought Alex and Maggie’s faces into focus as she stared at the screen, giving them a warm smile as she looked at them. They looked slightly concerned, but were smiling back at Lena.

 

 _“Fucking hell, Luthor, have you ever heard of a suntan?”_ Maggie asked, taking in the deathly pale pallor of Lena’s face.

 

            “I would blame it on the stabbing, but we all know that would be a lie,” Lena laughed. “How was La Pergola?”

 

 _“The meal was excellent, but that’s for another time. How are you?”_ Alex asked. _“You gave us all a fright. I can’t say I want to be woken up at six in the morning to a phone call like that again.”_

            “Everyone’s being dramatic,” Lena sighed. “I’m fine, really. Thanks for calling your mom though.”

 

            _“No problem. Just get better okay? I don’t need to worry about you too. Kara gives me enough anxiety,”_ Alex warned her, giving Lena a warm smile.

 

            “I know, I know,” Lena mumbled, waving away Alex’s concerns. “I might need you to give me some self defence lessons when you get back, just in case.”

 

            _“I’ll do it!”_ Maggie exclaimed excitedly.

 

            “Nuh uh,” Lena protested. “Someone sounds way to eager to drop me on my ass. That idea’s cancelled.”

 

            _“God, you take all the fun out of things, don’t you?”_ Maggie sighed, and Lena let out a weak laugh.

 

            _“You look exhausted. We’d better let you rest,”_  Alex told her.

 

            Rolling her eyes, Lena smiled at her. “Yeah, and you'd better get back to your holiday. I’ll speak to you soon. Bye.” They both said goodbye, and Lena handed the phone back to Eliza, so she could say goodbye too. Hanging up, Eliza placed her phone back on the counter and gave Lena a small smile.

 

            “Your mom should be back soon,” Eliza told he as she glanced down at her watch. “Do you want some water?”

 

            Lena shook her head, turning towards the door as she saw it open out of the corner of her eye. Lillian walked back in with a tray of coffees and a paper bag, giving Lena a small smile.

 

            “Speak of the devil,” Lena mumbled, giving her a smile.

 

            “And I thought I was starting to grow on you,” Lillian said, rolling her eyes as she walked back over. “I got you a coffee; the doctor’s said you could have one now.”

 

            “Thanks,” Lena said, sitting up more as she accepted the cup. Lillian handed another one to Eliza, before opening the paper bag and pulling out a container of sushi.

 

            “I got you a mixture of things, I didn’t know what kind of sushi you like,” Lillian explained as she opened the box and put it on the tray in front of Lena. “I bought you some too, Eliza. I assumed the food here would be terrible.”

 

            “Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you,” Eliza said, smiling at Lillian as she took the container.

 

            “I bought strawberry cheesecake too,” Lillian told Lena. “I know it’s your favourite.”

 

            “Thanks mom,” Lena mumbled, picking up one of the pieces of sushi and inspecting it before she took a bite.

 

\---

 

            It was starting to get dark when Eliza told them she had to go. Standing up, she gave Lena an affectionate smile. “I’ll come and see you tomorrow, okay sweetie?” Eliza told her, bending down to kiss her on the forehead. “You get some rest, and listen to the doctor’s, okay?”

 

            Lena let out a quiet laugh, promising she would, and Eliza said goodbye to Lillian before walking out.

 

            “I like her. She’s strong,” Lillian told Lena. “Her daughter’s must get it from her.”

 

            “Yeah, they do,” Lena agreed. “The only thing I get from you is my stubbornness, I think.”

 

            Lillian scoffed. “Please. You’d give a brick wall a run for its money. You’re definitely stubborner than I ever was. How’re you feeling? Or are you going to be stubborn about that as well and say you’re fine?”

 

            “But I _am_ fine,” Lena insisted. “I just don’t want to be here.”

 

            “No one _likes_ being in hospital, Lena,” Lillian said, rolling her eyes. “You’re here so they can keep an eye on you. They know what they’re doing, just let them do their job.” Lena grumbled as she settled back against her pillows and crossed her arms.

 

            “You look like you’re sulking,” Lillian said, looking at Lena disapprovingly. “It’ll only be for a few days. Do you want me to bring your laptop for you when I come back tomorrow? Any books? Those God awful sweatpants?”

 

            Lena laughed as she shook her head and uncrossed her arms. “Yes to all of those please. Would you mind calling the office for me and telling them I’ll be out for a couple of days, please?”

 

            “I called your assistant already. And I told her you would be out for a couple of _weeks._ She was glad to hear that you’re okay and said she would make sure she took Athena for a walk every day, and make sure she has food and water whilst you’re in here,” Lillian told Lena. “I’ll check on her tomorrow though, when I get your things.”

 

            “Where are you staying?” Lena asked, frowning in confusion.

 

            “I’ll get my assistant to book me a hotel before I leave for the night,” Lillian told her.

 

            “Oh … well you could just stay at my place. I know you have a key, and I have enough spare rooms. You know, if you didn’t want to stay at a hotel,” Lena offered uncertainly.

 

            Lillian blinked in surprise. “Oh, that would be nice, thank you.”

 

            “It’s fine,” Lena mumbled. “Um, how long are you staying for anyway?”

 

            “Until you’re better,” Lillian told her with a small smile.

 

            “Don’t you have meetings and research to do?” Lena asked, raising her eyebrows.

 

            Lillian laughed softly and shook her head. “Yes, I do, but that’s not important … all things considered.”

 

            “Thank you. I-I know you’re busy, but I-, well, I’m glad you came,” Lena said quietly, giving Lillian a small smile.

 

            “Of course I would. I know I haven’t always been there for you in the past, but I will always put you first now, Lena,” Lillian promised her. “Even if you don’t think I am, I promise you, I _am_ putting your best interests first.”

 

            “Okay. I believe you,” Lena replied. And she did. Her mom had proved it over and over again that she was trying to fix things, and Lena found herself willing to believe her now. She was still hesitant to trust her completely, but she knew that would come with time and effort, from both of them.

 

            Lillian stayed until visiting hours were over and a nurse came and kicked her out. She promised Lena she would be back in the morning, giving her hand a tight squeeze before standing up. After a moment’s hesitation, she leant down to press a kiss to Lena’s forehead, brushing the hair out of Lena’s face as she straightened up.

 

            “Never scare me like that again,” Lillian said firmly as she looked down at her daughter with a small smile.

 

            “I’ll try,” Lena told her with a quick laugh that sent a dull stab of pain shooting through her stomach. Lillian rolled her eyes good naturedly, before turning around and walking over to the door. She paused on the threshold, looking back over her shoulder, her eyebrows knitting together in a slight frown.

 

            “I love you, Lena,” Lillian said, before walking out into the hallway and letting the door close behind her.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the nice comments btw

            The sound of the door opening caught Lena’s attention. “Hello?”

 

            Athena bounded over to the door as Lena smiled at the sounds of Alex’s voice. Pushing herself up into a sitting position, Lena peeked over the back of the sofa, waiting for Alex and Maggie to appear at the mouth of the hallway.

 

            “Who’s a good girl? Who’s my favourite girl,” Maggie cooed to the dog, as she emerged from the hallway. Straightening up, she met Lena’s gaze. “Oh, and you’re here too.”

 

            “It hasn’t even been a minute, that must be some kind of record,” Lena laughed, rolling her eyes as she fell back against the pillows on the sofa.

 

            “How’re you doing?” Alex asked, walking over to the sofa and sitting down next to Lena’s feet.

 

            “She’s driving me insane,” Lena hissed.

 

            “Your mom?” Alex asked, looking around. “Where is she?”

 

            “Yes! She’s in the shower. It’s the only time she leaves me alone unless I’m sleeping. It’s only been a week and I’m not sure how much longer I can stand it,” Lena whispered loudly.

 

            Maggie snickered as she walked over to the couch eating some trail mix, having just raided Lena’s cupboards for something to eat. “I can stab you again so you can go back to hospital, if you’d like. At least then she could only see you during visiting hours,” Maggie offered as she grinned at Lena.

 

            “That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Lena said.

 

            “So was that a yes?” Maggie asked, pulling a switchblade out of her pocket and flicking it open. “Where to? The same side?”

 

            “What the fuck, Maggie! Why the fuck do you carry knives around with you? Put it away,” Lena told her, looking slightly alarmed at the fact that Maggie had such easy access with a knife. If there was one person she didn’t want to be around knives, it was Maggie.

 

            “Relax, Luthor. I never leave home without a weapon, and that’s why _I’ve_ never been stabbed before,” Maggie smirked, making herself comfortable on the other sofa.

 

            “Sure, because a knife would’ve helped me defend myself,” Lena said, rolling her eyes.

 

             “So,” Alex said, “are you going to show us your cool scar?” Lena pulled the blanket off her and pulled down the waistband of her sweatpants. Peeling back the patch, Lena showed them the angry red line just above her hip.

 

            “Sweet, you’ll get all the girls with a nice scar,” Maggie said, and Lena gave her an exasperated look.

 

            “Yeah, because a new girlfriend is _exactly_ what I’m looking for,” Lena said sarcastically as Maggie laughed.

 

            “So, how was the holiday?” Lena asked, sitting upright and putting her feet on the ground. She held back a groan as she tried to push herself up, and was stopped halfway by Alex, who gently but firmly pushed her back down onto the sofa.

 

            “Where do you think you’re going?” Alex sternly asked her.

 

            “I was going to make us some coffee,” Lena said with a sigh. “I’m not an invalid, Alex. I don’t need you babying me too.”

 

            “Well I told my sister that I’d look after you while she’s away so how about you sit your ass down and stop trying to do things,” Alex said, getting to her feet.

 

            “Excellent advice,” Lillian’s voice came from behind them as she emerged into the kitchen. “Good morning, it’s lovely to see you both again. How did you enjoy Italy?”

 

            “Hi,” Alex said, walking over to the kitchen. “It was better than I could ever have imagined. Coffee?”

 

            “That would be lovely, thank you,” Lillian said, giving her a small smile. “Lena, do you want your pain meds now?”

 

            “No!” Lena grumbled, “I told you I don’t want to take them anymore.”

 

            “Well you have to,” Lillian said impatiently. “Either you take them now, or I’ll get Eliza to come and give them to you because you never argue with her about it.”

 

            “That’s because you both gang up on me so I don’t really have a choice,” Lena muttered, scowling at Maggie who was laughing.

 

            “Exactly, so why don’t you save yourself and Eliza the trouble, and just take them now,” Lillian sighed.

 

            “Fine,” Lena snapped.

 

            “I’m just trying to help you, Lena,” Lillian told her, rolling her eyes at Lena’s attitude. “You need to take them with food, so what do you want for breakfast.” Lena shrugged indifferently, crossing her arms and sliding further down the sofa. She could hear Lillian mumble something indistinguishable and rolled her eyes as she looked at Maggie, who threw a peanut at Lena whilst she laughed.

 

            Lena was flipping Maggie off when Lillian walked over with a glass of water and two pills. “Lena! Behave yourself,” Lillian scolded her, frowning at her daughter as she placed the glass and the pills on the coffee table.

 

            Rolling her eyes, Lena let out a heavy sigh.

 

            “And for heavens sake, stop sighing,” Lillian tutted, walking back to the kitchen. Alex walked over a few minutes later, juggling three cups of coffee which she carefully placed on the coffee table.

 

            “Do you girls want something to eat?” Lillian asked Alex and Maggie as she rummaged in the fridge.

 

            “No thank you,” Alex replied, and Maggie agreed similarly, content with her bag of trail mix for the time being.

 

            Lillian brought Lena over her breakfast and Lena mumbled her thanks. She took a bite to satisfy Lillian and turned her attention back to Alex and Maggie. “So, what’d you guys do over there? Touristy things?” Lena asked, delicately arching an eyebrow.

 

            “Mhm, we did the Colosseum, of course, and the Pantheon and the Trevi Fountain … and then Maggie pushed me in it. We went to see the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and to St. Peter’s Basilica.”

 

            “Oo, and the catacombs! That was so freaky, it was great,” Maggie said, smiling widely.

 

            “You went in the Trevi Fountain?” Lena asked, laughing as she ate her food. “I’m surprised you didn’t get arrested.”

 

            “That was half of the fun,” Maggie told her. “The other half was the satisfaction of pushing her in. And I would’ve used my dimples to get us out of it anyway.”

 

            Lena snorted with laughter, shaking her head as she reached towards the coffee tableto exchange her plate for her cup, wincing as pain lanced through her stomach as her skin pulled the stitches.

 

            “Don’t!” Lillian yelled. “You’re going to rip your stitches out if you keep that up.”

 

            “Can’t I do anything?” Lena asked, throwing her hands up in frustration. Alex leant forward and picked the cup up for her, and Lena mumbled her thanks as she accepted it.

 

            “No, not until you get your stitches out,” Lillian told her.

 

            “That’s going to be another week!” Lena whined. “I have a business to run, mom.”

 

            “And you can do that from home, if it’s that important,” Lillian replied sternly.

 

            Lena huffed as she frowned down at her cup of coffee. “You’d think I was almost in the grave, the way you’re treating me. I’ve had papercuts worse than this, honestly.”

 

            “Stop being so stubborn,” Alex told her, giving Lena a warning look. “Hey, Mags, why don’t you go and get Lena her gift. It might cheer you up a little.”

 

            “Oh, right! One second,” Maggie said, laughing quietly to herself as she jumped up off the sofa and walked down the hallway to where Alex had left her bag. She came back a moment later, and Lena could see the carefully folded white fabric held in Maggie’s hands.

 

            “Ta-da!” Maggie exclaimed with a laugh as she held the t-shirt up for Lena to see. “I had it custom made for you.”

 

            Lena clapped a hand to her mouth as she laughed at the t-shirt. The front of it had ‘stab here’ written on it with two arrows pointing to the middle of the stomach. “Thanks, I love it,” Lena laughed, catching it as Maggie threw it at her.

 

            “You all have a terrible sense of humour,” Lillian sighed, shaking her head at the three laughing girls.

 

            “Oh come on, it’s funny!” Lena said, rolling her eyes at Lillian’s unimpressed expression. She stripped off the t-shirt she was already wearing and pulled the new one on.

 

            “Just take the damn pills Lena,” Lillian sighed, looking at her expectantly.

 

            “Fine,” Lena grumbled, starting to reach for the pills and the water until Alex gently slapping her on the arm, making her withdraw. She picked them up for Lena, exchanging the cup of coffee she was holding with the water and pills. Quickly, she popped the pills in and washed them down with water, feeling the weight of Lillian’s eyes on her.

 

            “Did you swallow them?” Lillian asked suspiciously as Lena put the glass on the floor.

 

            “Yes,” Lena sighed, rolling her eyes. Alex leant forward and grabbed Lena’s face between her hands, trying to get her to open up her mouth so she could check.

 

            “Alex! Get you fucking hands out of my mouth,” Lena spluttered, hitting Alex’s hands away from her face.

 

            “Lena, language!” Lillian scolded her whilst Maggie sat next to her sniggering quietly.

 

            “I don’t believe you,” Alex said, “open your mouth.”

 

            “Fine!” Lena said, rolling her eyes as she opened her mouth.

 

            “I’m not stupid; lift your tongue dipshit,” Alex muttered, rolling her eyes at Lena.

 

            “Okay fine, they’re under my tongue,” Lena admitted sheepishly.

 

            “For God’s sake, Lena. Just swallow the bloody pills!” Lillian exclaimed. “Why are you fighting me on this!”

 

            “I already told you I don’t want to take them! You know they make me drowsy!” Lena yelled, even as she swallowed the hidden pills.

 

            “That’s the whole point kid,” Maggie told her, and Lena scowled at her as she sulked. It didn’t take long for the dull pain to subside and Lena was grateful for the momentary relief. She hated taking strong painkillers, even though she knew it was necessary, and she couldn’t argue that they were effective. She just wished she could get back to work, or that Lillian would let her at least get up off the sofa; Lena was sick of watching TV all day.

 

            She was sluggishly listening to the conversation going on around her as the drugs worked their magic when her phone started vibrating on the arm of the sofa. Lena picked it up, and listened to the person on the other end. The call only lasted a few minutes, and she hung up and gave Alex a wide smile.

 

            “Guess who’s now officially the owner of a new building,” Lena told her.

 

            “Are you serious?” Alex smiled back at her excitedly.

 

            “Mhm. I guess you can move out now,” Lena said, smiling at Maggie.

 

            Lillian listened with interest, putting the pieces together by herself as Alex and Maggie excitedly talked. Lena felt happy for them, and she also felt happy about the fact that when Kara came home they would hopefully be doing the same thing.

 

            Alex and Maggie left not long after, leaving Lena to get some rest, which she moaned about. They promised they’d be back in the evening with Eliza for dinner; Lillian had apparently invited them all over, and Lena was grateful for it. Eliza had been over every day, making sure that Lena was okay, and she was going to be heading back to Midvale tomorrow afternoon.

 

\---

 

            Lillian shook Lena awake, and blinking away sleep, Lena looked up at her expectantly.

 

            “It’s Kara,” Lillian explained, holding out Lena’s phone. Instantly, Lena was wide awake and smiling widely as she reached for her phone.

 

            _“Hey! Sorry I didn’t realise you were asleep. Your mom insisted on waking you up,”_ Kara said as she smiled at Lena, her eyes crinkling at the corners in that way that Lena loved.

 

            “She’d kill me if I let her miss your call,” Lillian said, and Lena let out a small laugh. “I have some calls to make, just let me know if you need anything.” Lena nodded and Lillian took her leave, heading towards Lena’s office to give her and Kara some privacy.

 

            “I miss you,” Lena said, smiling at Kara.

 

            _“I miss you too. How’re you feeling?”_ Kara asked.

 

            “Well put it this way; Maggie offered to stab me again to put me back in the hospital, so I feel like that explains it all,” Lena laughed and Kara sighed as she shook her head.

 

            _“It’s only for a few more days. Just listen to your mom, okay? Just this once. And my mom. They both know what they’re talking about,”_ Kara told Lena, giving her a serious look.

 

            “I know, I know,” Lena sighed. “You know I don’t like being told what to do though. And my mom, God. I almost preferred it when she ignored me.”

 

            _“You don’t mean that,”_ Kara said, giving Lena an exasperated look.

 

            “I know. I just want to do something. Everyone’s treating me like I just had open heart surgery or got hit by a car. Like, it’s not that serious,” Lena said, rolling her eyes.

 

            _“I, for one, am glad that you’re being forced to take a break,”_ Kara admitted. _“You spend too much time working, I’m worried that you’re not looking after yourself properly. No, seriously Lena, you shouldn’t have even been at the office that late. Promise me you’ll work from home if you’re ever going to be doing work that late.”_

 

            “Fine, I promise,” Lena sighed, and Kara smiled at her, her shoulders sagging with relief. “Now, what is it?”

 

            _“What?”_ Kara asked, her forehead wrinkling in confusion.

 

            “Don’t try that with me, Kara Danvers. I might not be there with you, but I can still see that none of your smiles have reached your eyes. And before you tell me it’s nothing – I might not be there with you but I can still tell when you’re lying,” Lena warned her.

 

            _“We can talk about it when you’re feeling better,”_ Kara told her, giving Lena an uncertain smile.

 

            “I’m _fine_ , Kara. Just tell me now, otherwise I’ll just think it’s worse than it actually is,” Lena told her. It was quiet for a moment as Kara sat there silently debating whether or not she should tell Lena, and Lena sat there waiting for Kara to tell her what was bothering her.

 

            _“It’s just … well, you know I enlisted straight after college. They gave me a standard eight-year contract and I did my required two year’s active duty, and I re-enlisted for another two. Usually everyone does two or three active duty tours, and I, uh, I’ll have finished my latest one when I finish this tour, but well … there’s talk about everyone re-enlisting again.”_

 

            “You mean you want to go back, again?” Lena asked breathlessly, feeling like all of the air had just been sucked out of her lungs. A lump formed in her throat at the thought of Kara re-enlisting for another two years and putting herself in danger yet again when she could just be finishing off the last four years of her contract from the safety of National City. The thought was unbearable.

 

            _“I-, well I don’t know,”_ Kara admitted. _“We’re a team, you know, and I’m in charge of them. I just … I don’t know, Lena. I don’t know what else to do. This is the only thing I know how to do.”_

            “Kara you have a degree in biological science! You can go into research, or you can join the FBI with Alex, or do something with your photography. You’re so much more than the army, okay? I-I don’t-, I just … this isn’t your only option,” Lena told her, trying to keep her face neutral as she spoke. Inside, panic was welling up at the thought of Kara being gone for months at a time again.

 

            _“I know, I just … what do I do? I need you to tell me what to do,”_ Kara said, throwing her hands up helplessly. She looked tired, and she ran a hand through her hair as she sighed. Lena saw that her eyes with glassy with unshed tears, and Lena felt her own eyes prickle in reaction.

 

            “I can’t tell you that,” Lena whispered, afraid to talk any louder in case Kara noticed the tremble in her voice.

 

            _“I need you to tell me, Lena! I need to know what you think; I need to know that I’m making the right decision. For me, for you, for both of us,”_ Kara said, sounding frustrated.

 

            Lena closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath to steady herself. “I can’t make that decision for you, Kara,” Lena said, giving her a small smile. “I just want you to know that I’ll support you no matter what. Your job is important to you, I know that, and I don’t _want_ you to go back there, or to Iraq or wherever they’ll send you … but I won’t stop you either. If you want to re-enlist, then do it, but do it for yourself, because it’s what you _want_ to do, not because someone else told you to. I love you Kara. It doesn’t matter where in the world you are, or how long you’re away from me for, I’ll still love you more than ever, and I’ll support whatever decision you make.”

 

            Kara exhaled sharply, and all of the tension drained out of her. _“Thank you,”_ Kara whispered. _“Thank you for that. I’m just so confused. I miss you so much, I want to come home to you and wake up next to you every day, but I don’t know what to do about everything else. I don’t know what_ I’ll _do.”_

 

            “You can do anything you want. _Anything_ , Kara. If you want to keep people safe, then go in the police force, or if you want to sit at home all day and watch those stupid romance films you like, then do that. I just want you to be happy, Kara. That’s all I want for you, and I’ll do anything to make sure you are, even if it means waiting a little bit longer to wait for you to come home permanently.”

 

            _“I love you,”_ Kara said, her face splitting into a smile.

 

            “Good,” Lena laughed quietly. “Just … don’t think about anyone else okay? Make this decision for yourself. I trust you, I love you, and I’ll support you, always.”

 

            _“I can’t make a decision right now. I-I need to think, but thank you,”_ Kara told Lena, gazing at her with love and gratitude. All she really needed was Lena to support her and to let her know that re-enlisting wouldn’t cause more problems for them, even if it would be difficult.

 

\---

 

            Lena had her shirt pulled up, exposing the small cut on her lower abdomen, and she winced slightly as Lillian dabbed at it with an antiseptic solution, before she carefully redressed the wound.

 

            “There, all done. It’s looking good,” Lillian said, giving Lena a small smile as she tugged the shirt back into place.

 

            “Thanks,” Lena mumbled.

 

            “Pain levels?” Lillian asked as she guided Lena back onto the sofa and gently covered her with the blanket.

 

            “Three,” Lena said with a careless shrug.

 

            “So a seven then,” Lillian laughed quietly to herself. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you take anymore pills right now. You should be fine until bedtime. Would you like a cup of tea though?”

 

            “Yes please,” Lena said, giving Lillian a small smile. She watched her mom walk to the kitchen and set about making the tea. As Lillian walked back over with two cups a few minutes later, Lena frowned slightly.

 

            “What is it?” Lillian asked, gently setting the cup on the floor next to Lena so she could reach it easily. She sat down on the edge of the sofa and pressed the back of her hand to Lena’s forehead, checking her temperature whilst she arched an eyebrow expectantly.

 

            “I just remembered something that I’d forgotten about,” Lena muttered, shaking her head slightly as she smiled.

 

            “Oh?” Lillian prompted her, pulling her hand back and reaching for Lena’s wrist to check her pulse. Lena suppressed a sigh and let Lillian continue with her routine check up without complaint.

 

            “The last time I can remember you caring about me. I was sick. I must’ve been about fourteen,” Lena said with a small smile.

 

            Lillian let out a quiet laugh. “Fifteen. You were fifteen, and you had the chickenpox. It was the first week of the school holidays, and you hid it from me until they showed up on your face. I think we drove each other mad the entire time you had it.”

 

            “I remember us arguing because I was stubborn and I wouldn’t let you put the lotion on for me, and you said I couldn’t do everything by myself,” Lena said softly. She thought back to when Kara had looked after her when she was sick, when she’d said that she’d never had anyone to look after her when she was sick. Perhaps she’d been wrong.

 

            “You still tried though. You always did things by yourself, even when I tried to help,” Lillian said, rolling her eyes. She dropped Lena’s hand and stood up, stroking Lena’s hair before walking back into the kitchen.

 

            “Anything you want in particular for dinner?” Lillian asked, picking up one of the recipe books Jess had picked up for Lena when she had first tried cooking for Kara.

 

            “Pizza,” Lena told her as she tapped the side of the sofa for Athena to come to her. She ruffled the dog’s fur made cooing noises as Athena nosed her excitedly.

 

            “Pizza? You’re joking aren’t you? Pizza’s not a real meal, Lena,” Lillian said exasperatedly.

 

            “Tell that to the entire country of Italy,” Lena shot back. “Actually, Alex and Maggie are probably sick of Italian food for now, so I guess something else would be better. How about we order Indian?”

 

            “Takeaway isn’t good for you,” Lillian said disapprovingly. “You need a home cooked meal. It’ll help make you feel better.”

 

            “You cooking a home cooked meal? Mom, I can’t remember the last time we had dinner together that wasn’t prepared by someone else,” Lena laughed.

 

            “Well how hard can it be?” Lillian asked, shrugging as she flipped through the pages of the cook book.

 

            Lena started to laugh, remembering when she’d thought the exact same thing. “Yeah, you’d think so. The first time I tried cooking was for Kara and I, and I accidentally gave her uncooked chicken. So yeah, it takes more than being a literal genius.”

 

            “Uncooked chicken?” Lillian repeated, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

 

            “I don’t need you to make fun of me too, I haven’t lived it down since,” Lena said, throwing Lillian a dark look. She held her hands up defensively and bit back a smile as she stared back at Lena.

 

            “Takeaway it is then,” Lillian sighed, giving in and closing the book.

 

\---

 

            There was a knock on the door at six, and Lena quickly got to her feet. Lillian had commandeered Lena’s office to do her research, and was currently holed up in there. Rushing to the door, Lena yanked it open and smiled at Alex, Maggie and Eliza.

 

            “Hi, come in,” Lena said, ushering the three of them inside. Alex and Maggie hung their coats up and made their way further inside, talking loudly amongst themselves.

 

            “Hi sweetie. How’re you feeling today?” Eliza asked, smiling at Lena as she cupped her face between her hands and gave her a once over.

 

            “Better,” Lena assured her, giving her a small smile. “I-, uh, have you spoken to Kara?”

 

            “So she told you about re-enlisting, huh?” Eliza said with a grimace. She threw an arm around Lena’s shoulders and guided her back down the hallway. “I hated it when she finished her contract and renewed it again; I was hoping that I wouldn’t have to worry anymore. I was hoping that she would choose differently this time, for you.”

 

            “I hope she chooses differently too, but for herself,” Lena said with a slight frown.

 

            Eliza gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “That’s very selfless of you; it’s probably the most selfless thing you can do for her. She’ll appreciate that more than you know,” Eliza told her. “I’m still hoping she doesn’t re-enlist though, I don’t care how selfish that is. It’s hard for a mother to have her children leave her, but it’s even harder to watch one of them put themselves in a warzone.”

 

            “I’m not as selfless as you think,” Lena argued. “I’m secretly hoping that she won’t re-enlist too.”

 

            “I’d be a bit concerned if you weren’t,” Eliza told her with a laugh, guiding Lena back over to the sofa. “Now, you need to rest before I have to sedate you to keep you off your feet.”

 

            “You know, I thought having one mom was bad, but then Lillian came back and I’ve realised that having two is much worse,” Lena sighed, letting Eliza tuck the blanket in around her.

 

            “I, on the other hand, thought that having three daughters was good, but then you came along and I realised that having four is much better,” Eliza told her, laughing quietly before kissing her on the top of her head. “Now, where’s your mom?”

 

            “The office,” Lena told her.

 

            She watched Eliza walk in the direction of Lena’s office, and Alex and Maggie broke away from the liquor cabinet and poured themselves something to drink.

 

            “So, what’ll it be, Luthor?” Maggie called, screwing the cap back onto the scotch. “Water? Cup of tea? A juice box perhaps?” Lena flipped her off for the last suggestion, and Maggie returned the favour with a laugh.

 

            “Can’t you just slip me a little bit of alcohol? For medicinal purposes, of course,” Lena said with a smirk.

 

            “As someone who went to med school, I would like to voice my opinion here, which is a hard no,” Alex said sternly. “Strong painkillers and alcohol are a big no, Lena, and your genius little brain knows that already.”

 

            Lena grumbled to herself, and Alex brought her a bottle of mineral water to keep her quiet. She sat there sipping it in silence, feeling sorry for herself whilst she watched Alex and Maggie sip their scotch as they talked.

 

            A knock on the door signalled the arrival of the delivery person, and Lena tried to stand up but was gently pushed back down by Maggie’s firm hand on her shoulder. With a sigh, Lena told Alex where her new purse was to find some money to pay for the food. She was still a little bit frustrated that she’d had to replace all of her bank cards and ID’s, but she was glad she had kept Kara’s photo in her locket instead of her purse.

 

            Maggie got up to fetch Lillian and Eliza, and soon enough the five of them were sat around the table. Lillian had begrudgingly let Lena join them at the table to eat, willing to admit that it wouldn’t hurt Lena to sit up for a while. The food was good, and Lena noticed that Lillian didn’t have anything bad to say about it, much to her satisfaction.

 

            They didn’t stay late, and Eliza kissed Lena goodbye on the cheek before she left, promising that she would come and visit again soon and inviting Lena to come and visit her whenever she wanted to. Lena thanked her for coming to take care of her, giving Eliza a long hug and promising her she would look after herself. With a smile, Lena watched the three of them leave, before shutting the door and walking back over to the sofa to sit down next to Lillian.

 

            She was tired, and decided it was time for bed not long after. Pushing herself up off the sofa, Lena stretched, wincing slightly as her skin pulled against the stitches. It didn’t go unnoticed by Lillian.

 

            “Pain level?” she asked, looking up from her book.

 

            “Four maybe,” Lena mumbled with a shrug as she folded the blanket up and draped it over the back of the sofa.

 

            “So a nine then,” Lillian said, marking her place and putting the book down. “Come on, bed time.”

 

            Lena didn’t argue as Lillian got her two painkillers and a glass of water. She swallowed them without resisting, knowing that she had no reason to avoid the drowsy side effect when she was about to go to sleep. If she was being honest, she had been sleeping a lot better with the help of the painkillers, finding that she wasn’t tossing and turning all night worrying about Kara.

 

            Lillian trailed after Lena as she walked to her bedroom, stopping to say goodnight to Athena on the way. Stumbling through the dark, Lena switched the lamp on and pulled back the covers, before crawling into bed and letting Lillian tuck her in with only a small sigh and a little eye roll. Secretly, she was grateful that Lillian was babying her – it almost made Lena feel like a child again, or feel like the way a child was supposed to be treated by their mom. At least she could tick that off her list of firsts.

 

            “Goodnight,” Lena murmured, and Lillian gave her a smile as she perched on the edge of the bed and stroked the hair out of Lena’s face.

 

            “You’re so beautiful,” Lillian told her. “You deserve more.”

 

            “More?” Lena asked, confused about what she was talking about.

 

            “Mm. You were always the best out of us all, and you deserve to be treated that way. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you more,” Lillian sighed, and Lena noticed the slight shine in her eyes, caught by the light from the lamp.

 

            “You don’t have to apologise,” Lena mumbled.

 

            “But I do. I don’t think I ever told you about the day we first met you,” Lillian said.

 

            “Can you tell me now?” Lena asked hopefully, patting the space next to her on the bed. With a small laugh, Lillian climbed onto the bed and settled down next to her daughter.

 

            “I didn’t know what to expect, and I was so nervous. I’d always wanted a little girl, and your father had finally given in, so we applied and they paired us with you. I watched you through the window for a little while, and I knew, I just _knew_ you were made for us, and I was so overwhelmed that I started crying. You were four years old, you had these big green eyes and you were sat in the corner playing chess by yourself. They brought us into the room and you gave me the sweetest smile and you asked if I was your new mom. That was the first time you ever called me mom, and I loved you instantly. From that moment on, I promised I wouldn’t let anyone else hurt you, ever, but it turned out I was the one who hurt you by trying to make sure your father didn’t. I broke my promise to you then, but I promise you I won’t ever again. Even if it means I have to go away. I won’t let anyone hurt my little girl. Because you are my little girl, the same little girl with a sweet smile and those green eyes that has everyone wrapped around your little finger, even if you don’t show it.”

 

            Lillian smiled as she looked down at Lena, whose eyes were shut and was breathing deeply as the painkillers worked their magic. Lillian let out a soft laugh and gently stroked Lena’s cheek. Gently, she climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Lena up, and placed a quick kiss to Lena’s forehead.

 

            “I love you,” she whispered, tucking the blankets up under Lena’s chin and switching the lamp off before walking out.


	35. Chapter 35

            It was three weeks later and autumn had well and truly come. Lillian had left the day after Lena’s stitches were removed, and had called her twice a week since leaving to make sure Lena was okay. This was how Lena found herself sat on her rooftop with a cup of coffee and her phone pressed to her ear. She sat huddled up in a blanket as she watched the bustling city below her and waited for Lillian to pick up the call.

 

            _“Hello,”_ Lillian said expectantly.

 

            “Hi mom,” Lena said, running a finger around the rim of her cup.

 

            _“Is everything okay? What do you need?”_

 

            “I’m fine,” Lena told her. “I don’t need anything.”

 

            _“Oh, well what are you calling for?”_ Lillian asked, sounding confused.

 

            Lena blinked in surprise, realizing that this was the first time they had spoken without an intention. “Oh … well, I, uh, I guess I was just calling to … talk.”

 

            _“Oh!”_ Lillian said, also surprised at the turn of events. _“Right, okay. Um … what about?”_

 

            “I don’t know. I just … I don’t know, wanted to talk,” Lena said.

 

            _“Okay, um, well it’s your birthday soon. Is there anything you want in particular?”_

 

            Lena frowned slightly, realizing that Lillian was right; it was only a few weeks away. “Um, no. You don’t have to buy me anything, really.”

 

            _“Of course I’m going to buy you something. I always do, even if you send it straight back to me,”_ Lillian said. _“Come on, what do you want? A new car? Another bee farm? A piece of art?”_

 

            “Mom, no!” Lena told her firmly. “That’s too much. I don’t _want_ anything off you.”

 

            _“There has to be something you want,”_ Lillian said, sighing into the phone.

 

            “Yeah, I want my girlfriend home safely,” Lena told her with a small laugh. “Can you make that happen?”

 

            _“No,”_ Lillian sighed. _“Fine. I’ll find you something I like then.”_

 

            “Oh great. This’ll be good. What’s it going to be? A helicopter? A boat?”

 

            _“I mean, if you want one,”_ Lillian laughed quietly.

 

            “Now I’m curious about what you’ve sent me over the past six years,” Lena said, smiling as she picked up her cup.

 

            _“I’m sure you would have loved them,”_ Lillian assured her. _“Although that kitten’s probably not doing so well in that box. I can’t remember if I poked holes in it.”_

 

            “Is that a joke? Off you? You actually have a sense of humour?” Lena asked with a smile. “That’s good to know.”

 

            _“It does exist, it’s just not dark and twisted like yours,”_ Lillian said exasperatedly, and Lena could picture her rolling her eyes.

 

            “I happen to be very sarcastic and witty,” Lena told her. “I wonder who I got that from.”

 

            _“It certainly wasn’t your father,”_ Lillian told her. _“I think we’re more alike than you’d like to admit.”_

            “Don’t I know it,” Lena said. “I always hated being compared to you.”

 

            _“I think that applies to most children. No one wants to hear about how alike they are to their bitchy mother,”_ Lillian said.

 

            “Are you talking about yourself or grandma?” Lena asked, smiling to herself.  

 

            _“Careful now,”_ Lillian warned her, even though Lena could hear the smile in her voice. Lena laughed quietly as she sipped her coffee.

 

            “So, uh, I don’t think I told you when you were here, but Kara and I are thinking about moving in when she gets home,” Lena said. She wasn’t sure why she told Lillian, she hadn’t really spoken to her about Kara much, not wanting to give her anything to use against her. 

 

            _“Oh, really? That’s … a big step,”_ Lillian said hesitantly.

 

            “You don’t approve,” Lena said as she smiled. Of course she wouldn’t approve, she rarely approved of anything.

           

            _“I told you I wouldn’t interfere in your relationship, so my opinion is irrelevant,”_ Lillian told her. _“But since you asked; I think that it’s a bit soon.”_

“You’re right,” Lena agreed. “It is soon, but we’ll have been together over a year by the time she gets back, so by then I think we’ll be ready.”

 

            _“Well then I’m happy for you. I worry about you being alone too much,”_ Lillian admitted.

 

            “Mom, please, I know how to look after myself. I’m good at being alone,” Lena assured her. “I mean, I don’t want to be alone, but I _am_ good at it … at least I used to be. I’m not so sure anymore.”

 

            _“You don’t like it. I could see it on your face every time you’d look at that picture in your locket. You want her to come back to you,”_ Lillian said.

 

            “Yeah. I do, more than anything,” Lena sighed. “I guess that’s why we’re rushing.”

 

            _“Please just be careful though, okay? I know that rushing into things sounds like a way to solve your problems, but I don’t want you to get hurt,”_ Lillian said slowly.

 

            “Kara’s not going to hurt me,” Lena laughed, brushing Lillian’s concerns aside.

 

            _“Right, of course she won’t,”_ Lillian muttered.

 

            “I, uh, I have to go now,” Lena said after a brief pause.

 

            Lillian sighed heavily. _“Lena, please. Don’t go just because I have my reservations about it.”_

 

            “It’s not that,” Lena said quickly. “I just-, I’m supposed to be going to Alex for dinner. They have a Sunday night dinner thing.”

 

            _“Just … call me again soon. Please.”_

“Yeah, no, of course I will,” Lena assured her. “I promise.”

 

            _“Thank you. Look after yourself, okay,”_ Lillian said. _“I love you, Lena.”_

 

            “Yeah. Bye mom.”

 

            Lena hung up and drained the rest of her cup as she looked out at the skyline. The sun was just dipping down over the edge of the tallest buildings in the city, and the sounds of the city droned on far below. Lillian’s words repeated themselves in Lena’s mind, and she could understand where she was coming from, but Lena knew her own mind and she knew she wouldn’t rush into anything. She was too logical and calculating to let her emotions interfere with her decision making.

 

            Sighing, Lena climbed to her feet and walked back down to her apartment. It was still a bit early so she decided to reply to her latest letter off Kara before going over to Alex’s place. Sitting down behind her desk, Lena smiled at the photo on her desk before pulling a blank piece of stationary out and picking up her pen.

 

           

            _Dear Kara,_

_It’s been three almost three and a half months since you left, yet it feels like a lifetime. But hey, at least we’re roughly a third of the way through it. I might miss you more every day, but at least I know you’re a day closer to coming home – that’s the only thing getting me through this. The thought of seeing you again is the only thing I can think of these days._

_I love you so much, Kara. Like, more than you know. Your love means more to me than you will ever know, and I’m so grateful. You once said that loving is the only thing you know how to do, and that’s not true, but you give it so freely and you’ve made me feel like I’m worthy of being loved. I know you believe it can solve everything and can fix things that are broken, and I don’t share your beliefs about that._

_It’s taken me a while to realize it, but I don’t think I was ever broken, I think I was just hurt. I spent a lot of time trying to cope with that and I just pushed it all deep down inside and told myself not to bring it back up. For a while I didn’t let myself feel things, but being with you has helped me open up more and not shy away from my feelings. Your love is the reason why I’ve given my mom another chance. I guess I was finally able to see where you were coming from when you talked about being open and loving, and I was more willing to give her a chance. That’s brought up a lot of things from my past – but it’s not painful anymore. I think I’m starting to heal, finally. Thank you._

_I miss you. Look after yourself, please. I love you._

_Lena x_

            On her way to Alex’s, she stopped off to buy a stamp and send her letter and the latest care package she’d put together. Lena was willing to wager that Kara had more care packages than she knew what to do with. She sent her one almost every week, and she knew Alex and Eliza sent her some too. Smiling, she got back into her car and set off towards Alex’s.

 

\---

 

            The three of them were sat around the table eating dinner as they talked. Lena picked up her glass of wine, catching Alex looking at her as she took a sip.

 

            “What is it?” Lena asked her, quirking an eyebrow as she put her glass back down.

 

            “So, I was talking to Kara earlier,” Alex told her. “She told me something interesting.”

 

            “Oh?” Lena said, looking at Alex expectantly.

 

            “She mentioned something about your birthday coming up, ah, when was it again?” Alex said, turning to look at Maggie as she pretended to try and remember. “Oh right, that’s it. On Halloween, isn’t it?”

 

            “Okay, fine. You got me,” Lena sighed, rolling her eyes.

 

            “No wonder you’re such a gloomy bitch all the time,” Maggie said, flashing her dimples at Lena. "You always did give me a strange feeling. So which is it; vampire? Witch? Ghost? Your paleness applies to all three, I'd say." Lena gave her an unimpressed look and ignored her, before turning her attention back to Alex.

 

            “So, because you’re stubborn and I know you won’t let us do anything fun for you; how would you like to go to mom’s for two weeks?” Alex asked.

 

            “Two weeks? You literally just had a holiday, how do you get this much time off?” Lena asked, raising her eyebrows at Alex.

 

            “I get six weeks paid holidays a year, so I may as well use it before the year ends,” Alex explained, shrugging slightly. “Now, is that a yes or a no?”

 

            “It’s a yes, of course,” Lena told her. “As if I would ever say no to visiting your mom.”

 

            “It’s not to visit my mom – I mean, well it is – but it’s for your birthday. So is that how you want to spend your birthday, or did you want to do something else? You have to pick something though, even if it’s board games and pizza. Kara specifically told us to look after you, and that includes making sure you have a good birthday,” Alex said.

 

            “For the past six years I’ve sat alone in my office of apartment so literally anything would be a good birthday, but spending time at your mom’s would be great,” Lena told her, smiling at the thought.

 

            “Great! It’s settled. We’ll leave on your actual birthday, I’ll work out the details,” Alex assured her excitedly.

 

            “Thank you. I, uh, well it’ll be nice to not spend it alone this year,” Lena said with a smile. The last time she’d spent a birthday with someone was when she was at boarding school, and only then it was because she was forced to go to classes along with all the other students, and Lena wasn’t quite sure that counted. At any rate, she’d never spent her birthday with people who cared about her, even if Jess did conveniently leave a cupcake and a book in Lena’s office every year.

 

            “Of course. That’s what family’s do,” Alex said, giving Lena a warm smile as she cut up her food. Lena and Maggie shared a look of understanding, knowing that both of them had a very different idea of what families did to what Alex and Kara did.

 

            Once they’d finished eating, Lena washed the dishes whilst Maggie put them away and Alex made some coffee. “Oh! I got some more photos off Kara in my last letter if you want to see,” Alex told Lena.

 

            “Yeah, of course!” Lena agreed enthusiastically. She liked that Kara sent them all photos, and the fact that none of the photos they received were exactly the same because they were all on polaroid’s. Lena enjoyed sharing the ones she received with Alex, and vice versa, as they talked about what Kara would be doing or who was in the pictures with her. James and Winn made frequent visits in them, and Lena was glad to know that they were there with Kara.

 

            As Lena finished up the dishes, Alex went to her room to fetch the latest couple of polaroid’s for Lena to look at. They sat on the sofa with their cups of coffee as Lena stared down at the first photo. It was Kara with her mouth open mid-laugh and Winn pulling a crazy face over her shoulder, and Lena laughed as she traced a finger over Kara’s face. Beneath it Kara had scrawled ‘Working hard’ with the date next to it.

 

            The next photo was Kara laying down in the sand with her arms and legs spread out. Beneath that she’d written ‘Sand angels’ and Lena laughed at the childlike wonder that Kara had, even in the middle of a warzone. She flipped through the rest of them, before landing on the last one. It was Kara stood next to a guy Lena didn’t know, with his arm thrown around Kara’s shoulder.

 

            “Who’s this guy?” Lena asked Alex, holding the photo out for her to see.

 

            Alex let out a small laugh. “Ah, that’s Mike.”

 

            “Mike? Who’s that?” Lena asked, frowning slightly at Alex’s tone. She had said it as if Lena should know who Mike was.

 

            “Well he had a thing for Kara – still does as far as I know – and well, Kara had to let him down gently. He was kind of a dick, but like one of those guys who tries to play it off nicely. I’m glad she dodged that bullet,” Alex explained. “You’re a much better choice, if I do say so myself, and I think Kara definitely agrees.”

 

            “She's never mentioned him before,” Lena said, shrugging slightly as she added the photo back to the pile.

 

            “You sound jealous, Luthor,” Maggie said with a grin.

 

            “Why would I be jealous? If Kara wanted to date him, she would be. He’s clearly not my competition,” Lena said, rolling her eyes at the thought. She was glad that Kara had more friends over there; she hoped that Kara never felt alone.

 

            “Hmm,” Maggie hummed as she narrowed her eyes at Lena.

 

            “What now?” Lena sighed, as she raised her eyebrows in question.

 

            “Nothing,” Maggie shrugged, “I just thought you’d be the jealous type.”

 

            Lena scoffed. “Me? Jealous? There’s no need for it. Everything I’ve ever wanted I’ve had given to me on a silver platter. Well, besides like, relationships with people and stuff, but then I don’t think being jealous of relationships is a good quality to have. If I can’t trust Kara then that says more about me than it does about her.”

 

            “Wise words,” Alex said, smiling slightly as she drank her coffee, and Lena rolled her eyes.

 

            “Hmm,” Maggie hummed again, looking at Lena carefully.

 

            “For fuck’s sake!” Lena exclaimed. “What is it now?”

 

            “I didn’t say anything!” Maggie said defensively, smiling as she looked at Lena.

 

            “You’re insufferable, has anyone ever told you that?” Lena told her, giving her a dark look.

 

            “Not quite so eloquently. Most people just tell me I’m an asshole,” Maggie laughed.

 

            “Fine. You’re an asshole,” Lena told her.

 

            “Now now children, play nicely,” Alex said, laughing as she looked between the two of them as they bickered. “Honestly, I’m glad you like each other, because I don’t think I could handle you both firing snide comments at one another if you were being serious.”

 

            “Personally, I think it’s impossible for people to not like me. I mean, what’s not to like?” Maggie laughed.

 

            “Did you want me to answer? Or was that rhetorical?” Lena asked, smirking at Maggie, who flipped her off.

 

            “You know what, I can’t wait for your sister to come home so she can come and get her girlfriend to shut the fuck up,” Maggie told Alex, who laughed quietly.

 

            “Well I can’t wait for her to come home for other reasons,” Lena said.

 

            “Okay, that’s enough! We’re moving on from this topic before I hear something I don’t want to,” Alex said loudly, her face looking slightly alarmed

 

            “What’s gotten into you?” Lena said, frowning at Alex whilst Maggie choked on her coffee.

 

            “Oh come on, Luthor, don’t tell me that wasn’t a sex innuendo,” Maggie laughed.

 

            “What? Oh god, really? You guys are the worst. Do you really think that would be my main priority when Kara comes back?” Lena asked, slightly flustered at the turn the conversation had taken. She willed herself not to blush, not wanting them to make fun of her even more. “Actually, don’t answer that. I’d rather not go there with her sister sat right here.”

 

            “Thanks,” Alex laughed and Lena quickly took a dip of her coffee, grateful for the change of conversation.

 

            “So, how’re you holding up anyway? It’s been over three months now,” Alex said, looking at Lena with concern.

 

            “I mean, it doesn’t get any easier, but I guess I’m getting used to it now,” Lena grimaced. There was an ache in her chest as she thought about Kara. She missed her so much, it was like a part of her had been torn out.

 

            “As long as she stays safe, I don’t care how long it takes for her to come home,” Lena muttered.

 

            “She, uh, she did tell you she’s thinking about re-enlisting, right?” Alex hesitantly asked, frowning slightly in concern.

 

            “Yeah, she did. It’s okay though, I can understand why she wants to,” Lena said, smiling grimly.

 

            “So you’re just going to let her go back there?” Alex asked sharply.

 

            “I mean, I can’t stop her,” Lena said, frowning slightly.

 

            “Yes you can,” Alex told her. “You can make her stay this time. She’ll be safe, here, with us. I tried to stop her last time, but things weren’t as bad and so she re-enlisted. I can’t stand the thought of her going back again. Please, Lena, just … tell her to stay. She’ll listen to you.”

 

            “I’m sorry, Alex. I’ve already spoken with her about it. This is her job; this is her life. I can’t stop her from doing what she wants to do, even if I hate it. I won’t,” Lena told her.

 

            “So you’re _okay_ with her going back? You’re just going to let her go again?” Alex asked incredulously.

 

            “Of course I’m not okay with it! And you let her go last time,” Lena said. “I can’t tell her what to do, Alex. That’s not my decision to make.”

 

            “What do you mea-”

 

            “Enough!” Maggie shouted over the two of them. “Enough of this. You both love her, neither of you want her to go back. Don’t start blaming each other for Kara’s decision. You know Kara has a mind of her own, she’ll make the decision she thinks is the right one. No matter who tells her what.”

 

            Lena and Alex sat there for a moment, feeling slightly ashamed as Maggie scolded them, and then Lena stood up abruptly. “I should go,” she muttered.

 

            “Lena-” Alex started.

 

            “No, really. It’s getting late and I have work in the morning, so I, uh, yeah, I should go,” Lena said, crossing the room and slipping her feet into her boots. “Thank you for dinner.”

 

            She quickly pulled her coat on and was out the door before either of them could say another word. Quickly walking downstairs, Lena let herself out into the cold night, shivering slightly as a gust of wind swept past. Unlocking her car, Lena climbed into the driver’s side and shut herself into the warm interior.

 

            For a moment she just sat there, feeling tears prick her eyes. She was hurt that Alex would think that she wanted Kara to re-enlist, but really, Lena knew that that’s not what Alex had meant. They were both scared of what could happen between now and two years away. They were _already_ scared about what could happen between now and six months away. Letting out a frustrated sigh, Lena jammed her key into the ignition and peeled out into traffic.

 

            She was met by an excited Athena as she opened the door and walked into her apartment. Lena struggled out of her coat as she tried to fuss over the dog at the same time, babbling nonsense as a thumping tail whacked against her leg.

 

            Putting a pot of coffee on, Lena walked into her bedroom and stripped off her clothes before putting some pyjamas on and grabbing the photo album off her nightstand. She walked out to the kitchen with it, filling a cup up with some fresh coffee and sitting down on the sofa with it. Flicking through the pages, Lena felt her frustration bubble up again and her eyes welled up with tears. It wasn’t fair. She looked down at the photos where she was smiling widely and holding onto Kara, and Lena wanted things to be like that again so badly. A text broke her out of her misery for a second, and she stared down at the screen. It was off Alex.

 

_‘Sorry’_

 

            Lena let out a soft snort of laughter at the text, wondering how hard it had been for Alex to swallow her pride and send that single word to her.

 

_‘Don’t worry about it’_

 

            Glancing down at a picture of Lena reading a book out loud to Kara, who was curled up by her side on the swing on the front porch of Eliza’s house, Lena hesitated, before sending a second text.

 

_‘I’ll talk to her’_


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My assignments should all be finished by next week and then I can go back to daily updates. Hopefully this makes up for the delay.

            Lena was sat in her office, drinking coffee and typing away at her keyboard. Her eyes were starting to feel itchy from her staying up too late, but she was insistent that she would get through the rest of the pile before she went to bed. She jumped slightly as her phone rang and she frowned down at Kara’s name on the screen; she should already be well into work by now.

 

_“Happy birthday!”_

 

            Lena blinked as Kara’s words registered in her mind. Looking at the time in the upper corner of her laptop, she realized it was dead on midnight. Halloween.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena laughed. “I didn’t expect to hear from you until later today.”

 

_“Well I couldn’t wait that long to talk to you. I can’t stay long though or I might get in trouble, but I wanted to tell you anyway.”_

            “Kara Danvers, are you breaking the rules right now?” Lena gasped.

 

 _“For you, it’s worth getting caught,”_ Kara told her with a quiet laugh. _“I’m trying to be sneaky though.”_

 

            “Yeah, I can hear everyone in the background, you better keep an eye out of they’ll tie you to the front of a tank or whatever they do to you over there.”

 

_“I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, and to tell you there’s been a slight problem with your gift and it won’t get there until later on. Hopefully you get it before I speak to you later though, otherwise I’m going to have to wait until tomorrow to see if you like it.”_

            “If it’s off you then I already love it,” Lena told her.

 

 _“I hope so,”_ Kara said softly. _“Anyway, you should go to bed soon. What time are you leaving tomorrow?”_

 

            “Not until lunchtime, which gives me time to check in at the office before we go,” Lena told her.

 

 _“The office? On your birthday? Why am I not surprised,”_ Kara sighed.

 

“It’s just my birthday, Kara. The whole world doesn’t revolve around me, sadly,” Lena said with a small laugh. “Your sister has already conned me into breakfast though, so I’ll only be at the office for a few hours.”

 

 _“Good, I hate the thought of you being alone,”_ Kara said grimly. _“Okay someone’s walking past, I have to go. Sorry, I love you. Have a good morning and I’ll speak to you later, bye.”_

            “I love you too,” Lena said quickly, before Kara hung up the phone. She smiled to herself as she looked back at her laptop, and there was a warm feeling inside at the fact that Kara had waited until it was midnight here just so she could wish Lena a happy birthday straight away.

 

            Finishing off her work, Lena shut down her laptop and tidied up her desk before heading to bed.

 

\---

 

            The bell above the door dinged as Lena walked into the café. She spotted Alex and Maggie in the back corner and made a beeline straight for the table.

 

            “Oh, there you are,” Alex said, looking up as Lena neared the table. “Happy birthday!”

 

            “Happy birthday,” Maggie said, pulling a chair out slightly for Lena.

 

            “Thanks,” Lena said, giving them both a smile as she sat down.

 

            “We do have gifts for you, but we figured it would be easier if we gave them to you later so you don’t have to take them to work,” Alex told her.

 

            “Oh, thank you. That’s very nice of you,” Lena said, slightly surprised at the fact that they had bought her gifts.

 

            “But!” Maggie said, quickly scrambling through her bag before pulling something out of it. “This is one for now. Just in case.” Lena burst out laughing as she looked at the little switchblade the Maggie held out to her.

 

            “If someone tries to stab you, stab the bastard back,” Maggie told her with a grin.

 

            “Thanks, I love it,” Lena said, still laughing as she put the knife in her bag.

 

            “No problem. Come on, let’s order,” Alex said, waving away Lena’s thanks. Picking up a menu, Lena looked down at the options and smiled. Pancakes. Today she’d forgo what she called a ‘proper breakfast’ and get the pancakes. She knew Kara would approve if she was here.

 

            “So, what time did you want us to leave to get to the station?” Lena asked once they’d all placed their orders.

 

            “Right, well I thought it’d be easier if we met at the station. Otherwise you’ll have to go home to get your stuff, and then come and get us and then go to the station; that’s a lot of stops and we all know someone will hold us up.” Alex threw Maggie a quick look as she said the last part and Maggie laughed. “Our tickets are for half past twelve so as long as you’re there by then it’ll be fine.”

 

            “Sounds good,” Lena agreed. She mumbled her thanks as the waitress brought their coffee over, and poured some sugar into her cappuccino. Staying up late last night had been a mistake, and Lena would need all the energy she could get today.

 

            “You’re going to be bouncing off the walls with the amount of sugar you’re having for breakfast,” Alex said, looking Lena with amusement.

 

            “I used to tell your sister the same thing,” Lena laughed, stirring her cup before she took a sip. She moved the cup to the side as the waitress came back over with their food a few minutes later, and Lena smiled at the stack of pancakes in front of her. Picking up the maple syrup, Lena drizzled it over her food before cutting into it.

 

            “So, what’re you two doing all morning?” Lena asked.

 

            “Who knows. Maybe I’ll take a nap, maybe I’ll come to the office with you and sing happy birthday in front of the entire building,” Maggie said as she grinned at Lena.

 

            “Maybe you should pack your bags,” Alex said, poking Maggie in the arm.

 

            “Definitely pack your bags,” Lena agreed. “Somehow we’re always waiting for you. Honestly, you’d think a police officer would keep better time.”

 

            “Really? You think police officers are punctual people? If you called us to tell us you were being murdered, you’d probably be dead by the time we got there. Like honestly, you’d get a pizza delivered faster,” Maggie snorted.

 

            “And _that_ is why the FBI is better,” Alex smiled as she stole a strawberry off Lena’s plate.

 

            “As if. You wouldn’t know a real crime scene if you saw one,” Maggie scoffed.

 

            “Enough with the pissing competition,” Lena said, rolling her eyes as Alex and Maggie laughed. Their playful rivalry was ongoing, and Lena had heard the pros and cons of both of their jobs a hundred times already.

 

            “Okay Richie Rich,” Maggie said, smirking at Lena.

 

            “Who?” Lena asked, giving Maggie a puzzled look.

 

            “Oh come on, you’ve never seen the film? He’s the richest kid in the world, probably right up your alley,” Alex explained.

 

            Maggie sighed, shaking her head as she looked at Lena. “You know, my insults don’t have the same effect when you don’t know what I’m talking about. You need to have like a pop culture education.”

 

            “I know about a lot of popular things,” Lena protested. “I just don’t watch a lot of movies.”

 

            “Oh please. The only pop culture things you know about are Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones, and that’s probably only because you had a childhood obsession with dragons and elves or whatever weird shit you were into,” Maggie said.

 

            “It wasn’t weird,” Lena mumbled defensively.

 

            “Sure. Anyway, you need a full education on everything from this decade. I don’t know what happened along the way, but the fact that you know more about Bach’s music than Disney films has me a bit concerned,” Maggie told her.

 

            “Whatever,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “I’m not sitting through shitty kids films just to please you though.”

 

            “See!” Maggie exclaimed, turning to look at Alex whilst she pointed a finger at Lena. “That right there is what worries me. You just said Disney is shit!”

 

            “Relax, I meant if I don’t like one of them we’re turning it off,” Lena said. “Fucking hell, if I knew you felt so strongly about Disney, I would’ve bought you tickets to that ice skating thing.”

 

            “Disney on Ice?” Alex asked, laughing as she picked up her coffee.

 

            “I don’t know what it’s called, but yeah sure. My assistant, Jess, she took her niece to it when it was in town. I’ll make sure to get you tickets next time,” Lena said, smiling sweetly at Maggie.

 

            “You know, I said I was going to be nice to you today, but you’re really testing me here, Luthor,” Maggie said with a sigh.

 

            “You live for this shit,” Lena said with a laugh, and Maggie shrugged slightly.

 

            “Fair point. You definitely make things interesting,” Maggie admitted.

 

            “You’re full of compliments today,” Lena said with a smirk.

 

            Maggie laughed and gave Lena a warning look. “It’s only because it’s your birthday, and because I get a little holiday out of it, so I’m in a good mood. Don’t get used to it.”

 

            They finished their breakfast and sat their talking as they dank the rest of their coffee before Lena had to go to work. Lena couldn’t remember the last time she had ever felt happy on her birthday, and she was grateful that even something as small as breakfast had brightened up her day.

 

\---

 

            Lena walked into her office and Jess trailed behind her, rattling off a list of things she’d taken care of. She’d said a quick happy birthday to Lena as she’d taken her coat and bag when she walked in, but she didn’t make a fuss as she jumped straight into business with Lena. As Lena walked over to her desk, she saw the annual book and cupcake that graced her desk, and smiled. Trust Jess to always follow through.

 

            “Thank you, Jess,” Lena told her, gratefully. She even gave her a smile, which took Jess slightly by surprise as she returned it.

 

            “No problem, Miss Luthor,” Jess said, waving away the thanks. Lena felt slightly guilty at the fact that she couldn’t remember if she’d ever acknowledged the gifts off Jess before; usually Jess would sneak in and leave them in her office when Lena took a break. They’d always had a tentative relationship, mainly focusing on work, and whilst Lena appreciated Jess’ hard work and dedication to her, she wasn’t sure if she’d ever fully expressed just how grateful she was to her.

 

            “Um, would you like half?” Lena hesitantly asked, holding up the cupcake.

 

            “Oh,” Jess said, blinking in surprise. “If you’re sure.”

 

            Lena pulled the switchblade out of her bag and flicked it open, causing Jess to jump back slightly in alarm. “A birthday gift,” Lena said, shrugging as she cut the cupcake in half. “It’s for stabbing bastards apparently, but I guess it’s handy.”

 

            “Right,” Jess said, her eyes wide as she nervously eyes the blade. With a thank you, she accepted her half and took her leave. Lena called out another thank you after her before she slipped out the door, and Jess gave her a small nod and a smile before leaving her in peace.

 

            Lena’s phone rang whilst she was eating her half of the cake, and she quickly wiped her fingers on the napkin before picking it up. It was her mom.

 

            “Hi,” Lena said.

 

            _“Happy birthday,”_ Lillian said.

 

            “Right, yeah. Thank you,” Lena said with a small smile.

 

            _“God, I can’t believe you’re twenty-five already,”_ Lillian sighed.

 

            “I mean, you missed like two thirds of my birthdays, so I’m sure it feels quick to you,” Lena said with a small laugh. There was a pause for a second before Lillian replied.

 

            _“Ah … right, straight into it then,”_ Lillian muttered.

 

            “Wha-, no, mom, that was a joke,” Lena said exasperatedly as she rolled her eyes.

 

            _“It’s true though. I wish I’d been around for more of them, or that I hadn’t sent you away to boarding school,”_ Lillian said.

 

            “Well I do recall one birthday party, when I was younger. You threw me a massive tea party in London – at The Ritz wasn’t it? They had the best jam tarts I’d ever tasted,” Lena said.

 

            _“Mm, that was for your ninth birthday. You wouldn’t talk to any of the other kids because you said they were all stupid,”_ Lillian laughed.

 

            “I’m sure I was right,” Lena said.

 

            _“Well they were never as smart as you,”_ Lillian agreed. _“Although, it did used to worry me when you didn’t make friends. You were always so stubborn.”_

 

            “Nothing’s changed, of course,” Lena said. “Well, I guess I have two friends now.”

 

            _“And you’re still spending today with them, right?”_ Lillian double-checked.

 

            “Yeah, we’ll be leaving at lunchtime,” Lena told her.

 

            _“Right. Well your gift is being sent to Eliza’s for you,”_ Lillian told her. _“If you don’t like it you can pick something else, but I think you will.”_

 

            “Thank you,” Lena replied.

 

            _“Well I better let you get on with your day,”_ Lillian told her. _“Enjoy the rest of your birthday. I’ll speak to you soon.”_

 

            “Thanks mom,” Lena said. “Bye.”

 

            Hanging up, Lena sat the for a second with a thoughtful look on her face. It was one of those days where she truly realized how different her life was. Yet, here she was, still at the office like any other day, and still missing Kara, as per usual.

 

            With a sigh, Lena turned her attention back to her work. Hopefully she could check everything quickly and leave early so she could get to the station early. She wanted to make sure she had everything ready so she didn’t miss Kara’s call later on.

 

\---

 

            The door to Lena’s apartment opened and Jess poked her head in. Lena didn’t even look up from her screen as she carried on reading the report.

 

            “Um, Miss Luthor, there’s a delivery for you, shall I send them in?” Jess asked.

 

            “Ah, yes, please,” Lena said with a smile. This must be Kara’s present, and Lena was equal parts curious and excited to see what it was. Jess opened the door for the person to walk in, and Lena looked up from her laptop long enough to watch as a massive bouquet of flowers made their way through the door.

 

            She laughed quietly at the sight; Kara must’ve ordered the biggest bunch of flowers in National City. The poor florist could barely carry them as she blindly walked into the office.

 

            “Um, just set them down over here,” Lena told her, clearing a space on her desk for the woman to put them. Realising the woman couldn’t see where she was going, Lena quickly made to correct herself. “Oh, right. Just, um, straight ahead. A few more steps.”

 

            “Just leave them here?”

 

            Lena shot up out her chair, sending it shooting backwards as her heart thudded in her chest. That voice was as familiar to her as her own. As soon as the flowers were set down on the desk, Kara stepped out from behind them, smiling widely through her tears as she held up her camera and snapped a photo of Lena’s shocked face.

 

            “Happy birthday.”

 

            With a strangled sob, Lena launched herself around the desk and straight into Kara’s arms. She slammed right into her and held on tightly as she sobbed with relief and happiness. Beneath her touch, Lena could feel Kara shaking with silent sobs too, and they stood like that for ages, just breathing in the familiar smell of each other’s perfume and touch of their embrace.

 

            Kara drew back first, and her hands came up to cup Lena’s tearstained face as she looked down at her with wonder, as if she was seeing her for the first time. Gently, Kara wiped away Lena’s tears, laughing quietly as Lena stared up at her in shock.

 

            With shaking hands, Lena reached up and cupped Kara’s face between her hands, letting out a choked up laugh that was more of a sob. Her mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to think of something to say. Instead, Lena leant up and pressed her lips to Kara’s in a rough kiss, full of longing and desperation.

 

            “Y-you’re here,” Lena choked out after she pulled back.

 

            “I’m here,” Kara laughed quietly, stroking Lena’s cheek. Quickly she leant in and pressed a hard kiss against Lena’s lips.

 

            “H-how?” Lena asked, her eyes roaming over every inch of Kara’s face. She was here, safe but looking tired – Lena attributed that to the hours she must’ve just spent on a plane.

 

            “Did you really think I’d miss your birthday?” Kara asked, laughing quietly. Lena let out another sob and threw her arms around Kara again. She felt Kara’s arms encircle her waist, holding her tightly, and the quick press of a pair of lips at Lena’s temple.

 

            “I’ve missed you,” Lena mumbled into the crook of Kara’s neck and shoulder.

 

            “I’ve missed you too,” Kara whispered, stroking Lena’s hair as she smiled.

 

            Pulling back again, Lena took Kara by the hand and led her over to the sofa. They sat there facing each other, smiling tearfully as they ran their eyes over every inch of each other, and their hands wandered as they explored each other’s familiar body. Lena picked up Kara’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it before clutching it tightly to her chest.

 

            “I can’t believe you’re actually here,” Lena said, laughing incredulously as new tears slid down her cheeks. Kara threw her arm around Lena’s shoulder and pulled her into her lap, cradling her against her chest.

 

            “It feels like so long since I last saw you, but it also feels like I never left. Oh God, I’ve missed you so much,” Kara said, rubbing soothing circles on Lena’s back as she quietly cried.

 

            “Four months!” Lena exclaimed, her voice hitching as she said it. She sat up in Kara’s lap, turning slightly so she could see her face as she gently stroked her cheek. “I’ve spent every day wishing for this moment. Some days it was so unbearable I didn’t think I could bear it any longer. I had half a mind to fly there and drag you back myself.”

 

            Kara laughed, resting her forehead against Lena’s. “I don’t think I could have lasted a minute longer without seeing you.”

 

            “How long have you known you were coming home?” Lena asked, gently lifting Kara’s glasses and wiping her tears away. She kissed her gently on the nose and let out a quiet laugh.

 

            “For a few weeks. I applied for my leave after you got stabbed anyway, but I changed the date to your birthday. I know you told me not to come then, but I was so worried. It hit me just how long it had been, and just how many things could go wrong. I had to see you again.”

 

            “ _You’ve_ been worried? I’ve been out of my mind, Kara Danvers!” Lena sternly told her, before she dissolved into a fit of laughter. Her emotions were all over the place and her mind was racing. She couldn’t believe she was really here. Lena didn’t think she could ever let her go again.

 

            “God, no wonder your sister was in a good mood this morning. She already knew, didn’t she? They all know,” Lena said, connecting the dots.

 

            “Mhm, we were all very sneaky. I didn’t want to ruin the surprise for you,” Kara told her, giving her a quick kiss.

 

            “It’s the best gift you could have ever given me,” Lena murmured, grinning widely as she trailed a finger along Kara’s collarbone. Leaning in, Lena pressed her lips to her neck, smiling against Kara’s skin as she felt her shiver with pleasure.

 

            “I’m not the gift,” Kara told her with a small laugh. “Although I’m glad you’re enjoying the surprise. Sadly, I think you might not be as impressed with the gift now.”

 

            “I think I’ll love it all the more because you’re here to give it to me,” Lena said, smiling as she pressed a clumsy kiss to the side of Kara’s mouth. She pressed another kiss to Kara’s mouth, harder this time, and Kara’s lips parted beneath her own. Lena broke it off a moment later, laughing as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Sorry, I don’t mean to cry, I just-”

 

            “I know,” Kara said, smiling as she brushed the hair out of Lena’s face.

 

            “I love you,” Lena told her.

 

            “I love you too,” Kara said, her eyes welling up with tears again. “But now, we had better go and fetch your bags because _we_ have a train to catch.”

 

\---

 

            They walked into the station, hand in hand, smiling lovingly at each other as they made their way through the crowds of people milling around. They carried their bags and Kara held onto Athena’s leash too, already in love with the dog, as they made their way over to their platform.

 

            Lena smiled at the wide smile that spread across Kara’s face as she spotted the backs of Alex and Maggie as they waited patiently for them to arrive. Lena was mildly surprised that they were both here early, but then she realized it was probably because they were excited to see Kara. Dropping Kara’s hand and relieving her of her bag and the dog leash, Lena nodded in the direction of Alex and Maggie. “Go on.”

 

            Eyes sparkling and smiling widely, Kara rushed forward. “Alex!”

 

            Alex whirled around at the sound of her name, and her face split into a wide smile as she spread her arms wide open and rushed to meet her sister halfway. Kara launched herself into Alex’s arms and they hugged each other tightly, before pulling back and holding each other at arms length. As Lena slowly walked closer she watched as Kara hugged Maggie, smiling to herself at how happy they all were.

 

            “You both lied,” Lena said as she approached, smiling widely at the two of them.

 

            “No; you never asked,” Maggie corrected her, briefly flashing her dimples as Lena rolled her eyes.

 

            “Okay, okay, but lying by omission is still lying you know,” Lena said.

 

            “Who cares about that now? This is about to be the best two weeks of your life,” Maggie said, rolling her eyes even as she smiled. Lena smiled too, feeling as if she was about to burst with joy. Two whole weeks with Kara; it almost didn’t feel real.

 

            The train pulled into the station a moment later, grinding to a halt and opening the doors. Alex led the way on, and the four of them filed down the aisle until they found four seats opposite each other with a table in between. Stowing their bags above their heads, the four of them sat down, and Lena got Athena to lay down under the table.

 

            Lena slid her hand into Kara’s as she studied her face, and Kara turned her attention away from Maggie to smile down at Lena, squeezing her hand in reply.

 

            “Oh god, we’re not going to have to watch you two eye fuck each other for the next two weeks are we?” Maggie asked, making a sound of disgust.

 

            “Maggie!” Kara admonished her, giving her a disapproving look. “And no, not the entire two weeks. Maybe only the first.” Lena felt herself blush slightly, even as she laughed at Kara’s joke.

 

            “How I’ve missed you all,” Kara said, laughing as she looked at each face in turn, before leaning in to kiss Lena’s temple.

 

            “We’ve missed you too,” Alex told her sister, grinning widely at her. “Maybe your girlfriend will stop third wheeling us for a bit now.”

 

            “See what you left me with!” Lena exclaimed, smiling at Kara as she rested her head on her shoulder. “You can’t leave me alone with them again.”

 

            “Well for the next two weeks I’m yours completely,” Kara promised her with a smile.

 

\---

 

            Once again, Eliza was waiting for them as they pulled up outside her house. As Kara got out of the cab, she ran down the porch steps and met her daughter halfway, wrapping her in a big hug and holding her closely. Lena could see Eliza’s shoulders shaking as she sobbed with relief as she held her daughter safely in her arms.

 

            Grabbing hers and Kara’s bags out of the trunk, Lena whistled softly for Athena to follow her, letting the dog drag her leash behind her. She walked slowly, letting Eliza have her moment with Kara, and Alex who had just reached her. As the three of them pulled away, Eliza met Lena’s gaze and smiled widely at her. “There she is! The birthday girl! Come give me a hug.”

 

            Slightly embarrassed by all the attention, Lena put the bags down and let Eliza wrap her in a tight hug. “Thank you,” Eliza whispered in a low voice. “Thank you for bringing her home, even if it’s just for a little while.”

 

            Lena pulled back and gave Eliza a warm smile, feeling her own eyes prickle with tears. “I can’t believe she’s actually here,” Lena murmured.

 

            “That must’ve been quite a shock for you, how’re you feeling?” Eliza asked.

 

            “A little overwhelmed,” Lena admitted, letting out a quick laugh.

 

            Eliza patted her cheek gently. “You probably feel like you’re dreaming.”

 

            Lena nodded as she laughed, feeling the bubble of happiness inside her well up again. Eliza gave Maggie a quick hug and took her by the arm as the five of them made their way inside. Slipping off shoes and coats, everyone bundled themselves into the warm hallway, shutting the cool weather out. Lena volunteered to take the bags upstairs and Kara insisted on helping whilst Eliza announced she was going to make some coffee.

 

            Upstairs, Kara dumped Alex and Maggie’s bags in their room before opening her own door. She walked inside and let out a long sigh, before collapsing onto her bed. “It feels good to be home,” she groaned, “I’ve forgotten how comfy real mattresses are.”

 

            Lena let out a quiet laugh as she dropped the bags to the floor and fell down next to Kara, wriggling her way under her arm so that she could cuddle up next to her. “I’d forgotten how comfy cuddling with you is.”

 

            “Is that the only thing you’ve forgotten?” Kara asked, moving in one fluid motion so that she was straddling Lena and pinning her hands above her head. She leant down and pressed a teasing kiss to Lena’s lips, smiling as she drew back.

 

            “That’s not fair,” Lena complained, pouting slightly. “Have I not suffered enough?”

 

            “Hmm, I guess so. And I guess you’ll just have to wait a bit longer,” Kara said, letting go of Lena’s hands and standing up. She smiled and pulled Lena off the bed, giving her a quick kiss before entwining their fingers and leading them back downstairs, quickly snagging her camera out of her bag on the way.

 

            They walked out into the kitchen and Lena’s eyes widened as she looked at the birthday decorations. She smiled widely as she took in the balloons and the birthday banners, feeling a lump rise in her throat at the sight. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone had done something like this for her birthday.

 

            “Surprise!” Alex said, when they walked into the room, handing them both a cup of coffee.

 

            “It’s great, thank you,” Lena said with a smile as she tried not to let her eyes well up with more tears. She’d probably cried more today than most people did in a year. They all sat down at the table, and for the first time in a long time, it finally felt complete. The huge hole that Kara’s absence left had been filled by her bubbling presence.

 

            “So, what would you like for dinner, birthday girl?” Eliza asked her, smiling slightly.

 

            “Um, how about Chinese?” Lena suggested, turning to look at Kara with a smile. “I know someone really missed it.”

 

            “Hey, it’s your birthday, you get to pick what you want. I can eat Chinese every day while I’m here,” Kara told her, gently brushing Lena’s hair off her shoulder as if it was the most natural thing in the world. In some ways Kara was right; now that she was back it didn’t feel like she had left at all.

 

            “Well it’s a good thing I’m in the mood for Chinese then isn’t it,” Lena told her, and Kara’s eyes crinkled at the corners as she laughed.

 

            “I’ll go and order it then,” Eliza said, standing up and walking into the living room for some quiet. Returning a few minutes later, Eliza rejoined them, smiling brightly.

 

            “Okay, so, um, there’s something else before we give you your presents,” Kara said hesitantly. “Can you, uh, just come with me a second?”

 

            Frowning slightly, Lena stood up and took her hand, letting Kara lead her into the living room. She stood facing the window, watching the last rays of sunshine fade as the sun disappeared over the horizon, and Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s waist from behind.

 

            “What’s wrong?” Lena asked.

 

            “I don’t know if I overstepped,” Kara said slowly, watching as a pair of headlights turned into their driveway. Twisting around in Lena’s embrace, Kara looked down at Lena, who reached up to smooth away the crease between her eyebrows. “I, uh, I invited your mom.”

 

            “You invited my _mom?_ ” Lena asked, blinking in surprise.

 

            “Just for the evening. She called me and asked me to come home. She said it’s what you wanted for your birthday, but of course she didn’t know I was already planning on it. I told her we were going to bring you down here for two weeks, and well, she sounded sad. I think she was hoping to come to National City and, you know, be there for your birthday this year. So yeah, I invited her here. Are you mad?”

 

            “At you? Never,” Lena said with a smile, giving Kara a quick kiss. “And it’s fine. We’re getting along quite well at the moment, so I think it’ll be okay.”

 

            Kara let out a sigh of relief, smiling down at Lena. “Good. I’m sorry if you would’ve preferred me to tell you earlier.”

 

            “It’s fine, honestly,” Lena reassured her. “If I didn’t want her here I wouldn’t be above making a scene and kicking her out.”

 

            “That’s my girl,” Kara told her, giving her a quick kiss as a knock on the door sounded. “Here she is.”

 

            Taking a deep breath, Lena walked out into the hallway and made her way to the front door. She could see Lillian’s outline silhouetted by the porch light as she waited for the door to open. Lena reached for the handle and opened it, taking in her mom’s warm smile and the pile of gifts she was carrying.

 

            “Um, hi,” Lena said, her raising her eyebrows at the gifts that Lillian had brought.

 

            “Happy birthday,” Lillian said brightly.

 

            “Yeah, thank you,” Lena mumbled, opening the door wider and moving out of the way so that her mom could come inside. “Do you need some help?”

 

            “If you wouldn’t mind,” Lillian said, giving Lena a grateful smile as she took some of the gifts off her. “Ah, Kara. Hi, how are you? You’re looking well.”

 

            “Hi Mrs Luthor. Yeah, I’m good, how are you?” Kara replied, taking some of the other gifts off Lillian.

 

            “You _can_ call me Lillian, you know. I’m good. I bet you’re happy to be home,” Lillian said, smiling as she followed the two girls down the hallway and into the kitchen.

 

            “Yeah, it’s great. It’s going to be hard to leave again,” Kara said with a smile.

 

            “But we’re not going to talk about that right now, are we?” Lena said with a laugh, giving Kara a warning look.

 

            “Of course not,” Kara agreed.

 

            “Eliza! Lovely to see you again. You have a beautiful home,” Lillian said as they walked into the kitchen. “Alex, Maggie, how are you both?”

 

            As everyone said their hello’s, Lena and Kara dumped the presents on the kitchen counter and Kara poured Lillian a cup of coffee. “This is weird right?” Kara whispered in Lena’s ear as she walked into the kitchen and hugged her from behind.

 

            “Not for me. They’ve all met before. You being home is weirder than anything,” Lena murmured, smiling as Kara kissed the side of her head.

 

            “I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about that actually,” Kara said hesitantly. “About going back again.”

 

            Twisting around in Kara’s arms, Lena put her hands on Kara’s shoulders and looked down. “Can we, uh, just not talk about that today? Can we talk about it in the morning?” Lena whispered.

 

            “Oh, right, yeah, sure,” Kara said quickly. “No problem.”

 

            “Thank you,” Lena whispered, meeting her gaze. She smiled as she looked into Kara’s blue eyes, reaching up to trace the side of her face. “You’re so beautiful, and your eyes … it’s not the same on a screen.”

 

            “I know,” Kara mumbled in agreement, resting her forehead against Lena’s. There was a loud knock at the front door. “That’ll be the Chinese! Or some trick or treaters, I guess.”

 

            “Ooo are we allowed to egg them?” Maggie asked excitedly.

 

            “I think they’re supposed to do the egging,” Alex told her, poking her in her side and laughing as Maggie squirmed.

 

            Lena laughed as Kara excitedly bounded over to the front door, and Athena chased after her just as excited. “The money’s in the kitchen, Kara!” Eliza called, shaking her head as Kara came running back in.

 

            “Oh, I’ve got this,” Lillian said, “no, no, really.” Lena shrugged as Lillian walked to the front door and paid for the food, and Kara went to help her carry the food in.

 

            And so, the six of them crowded around the table, talking loudly as they ate. Lena kept looking over at Kara, who was sat next to her, as if to make sure she was really there, and each time she’d smile widely at the sight of Kara laughing at something that Maggie had said, or her talking animatedly to Lillian. It was all so surreal to her.

 

\---       

 

            After dinner, Lena, Kara and Lillian were ushered into the living room, whilst Eliza made everyone tea and coffee and Alex and Maggie washed up. Soon, the six of them were sat in the living room and everyone was looking at Lena expectantly.

 

            “Go on then, open your presents,” Kara said excitedly, nodding at the small pile on the coffee table. With a smile, Lena picked up the small pile of birthday cards first and read each of them before standing them up on the coffee table.

 

            “Oh god, she’s one of those people,” Maggie said with a small laugh.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes as she picked up the first present and carefully slid a finger under the tape and opened it at one end. “Who’s this one off?”

 

            “Us,” Alex said, gesturing to her and Maggie. Lena smiled and finished opening it, revealing a new record for her vinyl collection.

 

            “I wanted to get you some cool music, you know, from this century, but Alex insisted on something that you’d listen to,” Maggie sigh. Lena laughed as she reached for another similarly wrapped gift and opened another record.

 

            “Thanks guys, I can’t wait to listen to them,” Lena told them with a smile.

 

            She picked up the next gift off the pile and set about opening that one. By the time she had finished, she had a small pile of new books off Alex, Maggie and Eliza; two tickets off Kara for them to go and see the National Symphony Orchestra; a monogrammed pen off Kara; and a bag of rare plumeria seeds too, which Maggie rolled her eyes at when Lena got really excited.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena mumbled, kissing Kara on the cheek before smiling widely at Alex, Maggie and Eliza. Next she warily turned her attention to the presents on the floor that she and Kara had dumped their earlier. Kara reached down and picked up the first one before handing it to Lena.

 

            She snorted with laughter as she looked down at the brown parcel paper of the massive box and ‘return to sender’ stamped over Lena’s address. Looking up at Lillian, Lena arched her eyebrow, “did you really bring all the gifts I had sent back to you?”

 

            “Yes, I thought it might satisfy your curiosity,” Lillian told her with a small smile.

 

            Shaking her head, Lena opened the paper to reveal a picture of a telescope on the side of the box. It was top of the range, she had no doubt about it.

 

            “That one was from the first year after you left. You left your telescope at home when you left,” Lillian explained as she shrugged slightly. “I’m not sure if you’re still interested in astronomy, but oh well.”

 

            “Thank you,” Lena said with a small smile. “And I am.”

 

            She made her way through the other five gifts wrapped in brown paper with the same ‘return to sender’ stamped on the front. From those she got other extravagant gifts, each one of them probably costing more than some people made in a year. Lastly, Lena opened one that wasn’t wrapped in brown paper, but normal gift wrap, obviously bought for this year’s birthday. Lena let out a quiet laugh as she opened the paper to reveal a complete first edition set of The Lord of the Rings books.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena said, blinking in surprise at the gift. She was surprised that Lillian remembered that she had loved the books so much as a child – or surprised that Lillian had bought her so many gifts over the past few years that appealed to Lena’s interests.

 

            “Thank you, to all of you,” Lena said, smiling widely. She felt so spoilt, and it wasn’t because of the amount of gifts she’d received, it was because of the effort and kindness gone into making her birthday special.

 

            “You’re welcome, honey,” Eliza smiled at her. “I’ll be right back.”

 

            As she left the room, Lena turned her attention to the pile of photos that Kara had taken over the course of the evening. The happiness Lena felt was evident on her face in every single photo, but especially in the ones that Alex had taken where she was gazing at Kara.

 

            Lena looked up as Eliza walked back in and she groaned internally at the sight of the birthday cake covered in candles. On cue, everyone started singing happy birthday, and Lena awkwardly looked around the room as she blushed with embarrassment.

 

            “Make a wish!” Kara told her excitedly as they finished singing and she blew out the candles. Lena laughed at Kara’s naivety but indulged her, thinking carefully for a second. She couldn’t think of anything she wanted, everyone was here with her already. All she could wish for now was that Kara would stay safe, and that she’d stay with Lena.

 

\---

 

            Lillian left after a couple of hours, having just flown in for the evening, and Lena stood on the front porch with her as they said their goodbyes.

 

            “Thank you for coming,” Lena started. “I-, uh, it means a lot to me. And thank you for the gifts.”

 

            “Of course,” Lillian said, waving away Lena’s thanks. “I hope you’ve had a good day.”

 

            “The best,” Lena told her, smiling brightly.

 

            They both stood there awkwardly for a moment before Lena took them both by surprise and gave Lillian a quick hug. Lillian let out a soft exclamation of surprise as Lena wrapped her arms around her, and quickly returned the hug, smoothing Lena’s hair as she held her close. It only lasted a moment before Lena drew back, but Lillian was smiling, and her gaze softened as she looked at her daughter.

 

            “Be good, okay? I’ll see you soon,” Lillian told her. “I love you.”

 

            “I-, uh, yeah, I know you do,” Lena told her with a small smile, before she looked down at her hands as she fiddled nervously. “And I, uh, I love you too.”

 

            Lena looked up at her mom as Lillian’s eyebrows rose in surprise – she hadn’t been expecting that. Lena rolled her eyes and shrugged slightly as a wide smile spread across Lillian’s face. Quickly, Lillian cupped the side of Lena’s head and pressed a kiss to her daughter’s forehead. Without another word she walked down the steps and got into the waiting car, pausing to wave at Lena before shutting the door. Lena waited until the car drive off before opening the screen door and walking back into the warmth.

 

            Kara was sat waiting for her on the staircase and Lena smiled widely at her as she walked over and held her hands out. Pulling her up, Lena leant up to press a kiss to Kara’s lips. “Thank you,” Lena whispered pulling back slightly.

 

            “Mm? What for?” Kara asked, brushing a piece of lint off Lena’s sweater before she entwined their fingers and dragged Lena into the living room.

 

            “Everything,” Lena said with a quick laugh as she sat down on the sofa. Alex cursed as there was another knock on the door and the muffled sound of kids shouting ‘trick or treat’. With a sigh, she stood up and made her way to the door with the bowl of candy.

 

            “I never got the big fuss about Halloween,” Lena said, frowning slightly as Alex walked back into the room. “Maybe it’s because it’s the same day as my birthday, but it just seems stupid to go around knocking on people’s doors for candy – just go and buy some from the store.”

 

            “What do you mean? Didn’t you like dressing up as a kid?” Kara asked, holding up a hand to stop Lena from replying as she opened her mouth. “Wait, don’t tell me; you’ve never been trick or treating before.”

 

            Lena gave her a sheepish smile and a helpless shrug. “Nope. I grew up on an estate, with no nearby neighbours, or I was at school and we weren’t allowed off campus – not that that stopped us. We just used to sneak out and steal bottles of wine and cartons of eggs and get drunk whilst we egged kids and houses.”

 

            “Lena Luthor!” Eliza said, gasping in mock horror. “That’s a terrible thing to do.”

 

            Lena smiled innocently at her before joining in with Alex and Maggie’s laughter. Kara stood up suddenly and quickly ran upstairs, before coming back down and going into the kitchen. She returned a moment later with a large white sheet, a pair of scissors and a plastic bag.

 

            “Mom, I’m ruining one of your sheets,” Kara told her, holding out a hand towards Lena and pulling her up off the sofa. Quickly, she draped the sheet over Lena and pulled it so it evenly covered her. “Don’t move.”

 

            “Kara what the fuck are you doing,” Lena spluttered from beneath the sheet.

 

            “We’re going trick or treating. It’s a bit last minute so you have to be a ghost. Now keep still or I might accidentally stab you in the eyes with the scissors,” Kara sternly told her. With a sigh, Lena let her probe her face until she found the right place and cut two holes in the sheet so Lena could see.

 

            “There we go!” Kara said, smiling proudly at her handiwork. “Okay you two, grab your coats and shoes.”

 

              Knowing that it was no good arguing, Alex and Maggie got up and followed Kara’s orders, whilst Eliza chuckled quietly to herself. Kara picked up her camera and snapped a quick picture of Lena before showing it to her.

 

            “I look ridiculous,” Lena sighed, rolling her eyes.

 

            “Suck it up, Luthor,” Maggie called from the doorway as she shrugged her coat on.

 

            “That’s easy for you to say, you’re not twenty-five and dressed up as Casper the fucking ghost,” Lena said.

 

            “Hey now,” Eliza warned her, disapproval colouring her voice.

 

            “Sorry,” Lena apologized with a quiet laugh.

 

            “I’m surprised you know who Casper is,” Maggie said.

 

            After a couple more photos of Lena and Kara, and then the four of them together, Eliza watched the four of them leave, and told them not to be gone too long because it was cold out.

 

            They walked into town and Kara walked up to a house at random and knocked loudly. Patiently, the four of them waited as they listened to the sound of someone moving behind the closed door. A middle-aged woman threw it open, smiling expectantly.

 

            “Hi!” Kara smiled warmly at her. “So obviously we’re a little old for trick or treating, but my girlfriend here has never been before, so we were wondering if you could help us out and give her the complete Halloween experience.”

 

            The woman laughed at the sight of Lena draped in the white sheet. “Sure thing. I’ll close the door and you can do it again.”

 

            “Thank you,” Kara beamed at her before retreating down the steps as the woman shut the door. With a sigh, Lena walked up the steps and knocked on the door and the woman pulled it back open a second later.

 

            “Trick or treat,” Lena said as she rolled her eyes beneath her sheet.

 

            “Can I get a picture of this, just quickly,” Kara called from below, and Lena turned around to face her as the woman posed next to Lena with her bowl of candy. She laughed as she tipped some of the candy into Lena’s bag and Lena mumbled her thanks.

 

            “Thank you!” Kara called from the sidewalk as Lena made her way back down the steps.

 

            “Y’all have a good night,” the woman called before shutting the door.

 

\---

 

            Lena was bundled up in her pyjamas as she sat cuddled up next to Kara under the blankets. She stared at the screen of her laptop, paying close attention to the film that was playing as she unwrapped one of the candies she’d collected that night.

 

            “I just don’t get it; how is the octopus lady the villain? She literally fulfilled her part of the deal. It’s not her fault this stupid mermaid bitch doesn’t like the terms and conditions. Also my mermaid theory is more logical than this, so this movie is shit,” Lena ranted as Kara looked at her with amusement.

 

            “Lena, honey, it’s a kids film. Relax,” Kara laughed, pouring some skittles out of the packet and shoving them in her mouth.

 

            “It just doesn’t make sense,” Lena sighed. “What’s the point in filling kids heads with nonsense?”

 

            “Well I turned out okay,” Kara argued.

 

            “You, my dear, have a warped sense of fairy tales and true love,” Lena said, smiling as she leant over and kissed her softly.

 

            Kara laughed quietly, “I guess you have a point there, but you love it.”

 

            “Mm, I do,” Lena agreed, kissing her again before turning her attention back to the film and keeping her criticisms to herself.

 

\---

 

            For the first time in as long as she could remember, Lena slept soundly, with one arm thrown over Kara as she pressed up against her back as close as she could. They breathed in unison, both deeply asleep without the weight of concern for Kara’s safety hanging over them.

 

            Lena clutched Kara tightly, as if she was never going to let her go again.


	37. Chapter 37

            “No!”

 

            The yell tore Lena from her sleep, and she shot up in bed, quickly turning to face Kara who was sat next to her, breathing heavily. Lena’s hands fluttered nervously over Kara, but she was hesitant to touch her, unsure whether Kara wanted her to or not.

 

            “Hey, you’re okay, you’re home,” Lena murmured, looking at Kara with concern. After a few moments Kara turned to face Lena and gave her a small smile, squinting slightly as she tried to make out Lena’s face. Quickly reaching for her glasses, she slid them on and looked back over at Lena with a slightly bigger smile.

 

            “Good morning,” Kara said, leaning over to give Lena a slow kiss before she flopped back down on the bed. Lena frowned slightly as she looked at Kara, who was smiling and holding her arms open.

 

            “Kara-” Lena started, but was cut off before she could continue.

 

            “I’m fine, Lena. It was just a bad dream,” Kara said, giving her a half smile.

 

            With a small sigh, Lena cuddled up next to Kara and threw one arm across her, holding her tightly. “Do you want to talk about it?” Lena asked.

 

            “No,” Kara whispered. “Not right now.”

 

            After a quick pause, Lena decided not to push her. Kara always told her what was bothering her when she was ready. Instead, they both lay there in each other’s arms, and Lena listened to Kara’s steady heartbeat while Kara trailed her fingers in swirling patterns over Lena’s back.

 

            They stayed that way until the sky started to lighten outside, and the weak early morning sun started shining through a gap in the curtains. Kara was running her fingers through Lena’s hair, and Lena felt her take a deep breath as if to steady herself.

 

            “So, we, uh, we need to talk … about me re-enlisting,” Kara said slowly. Lena carefully extracted herself from Kara’s arms and sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and pushing herself up.

 

            “Can’t we just have breakfast first?” Lena asked, running a hand through her hair as she turned to look at Kara with a grim look on her face.

 

            Kara sighed as she reached out for Lena, before letting her arm flop back down on the bed when Lena didn’t make a move to get back into the bed. “Lena, you can’t just keep avoiding the conversation,” Kara told her.

 

            “I’m not avoiding it. I’d just prefer to not have it right now,” Lena replied.

 

            “Lena, please,” Kara said, giving her a pained look.

 

            “Kara, I-” Lena started.

 

            “I’m not re-enlisting, you donut!” Kara exclaimed, cutting Lena off with a laugh as she rolled her eyes.

 

            Lena’s brain took a moment to register Kara’s words and she blinked in surprise. She opened and closed her mouth a few times as she tried to make sense of what she’d just heard. “Wha-, I don’t understand. Y-you’re not re-enlisting? Ever?” Lena said slowly, tilting her head to the side as she frowned.

 

            “Never ever,” Kara said, grinning up at Lena as she sat huddled in the blankets.

 

            All the air rushed out of Lena’s lungs and she let out a breathless laugh, before jumping on the bed. She tackled Kara and pinned her down beneath her, smiling widely as her eyes welled up with tears. Leaning down, Lena pressed kisses all over Kara’s face as they both laughed.

 

            “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Lena squealed excitedly, bouncing on the bed as she smiled at Kara. Laughing, Kara struggled into an upright position and wiped away the tears of joy streaming down Lena’s face, before leaning in and giving her a kiss.

 

            The door banged open to reveal an annoyed Alex rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “You two better have a good fucking reason for making this kind of racket this early in the morning. If you don’t you better shut the fuck up or I will personally kill you,” Alex grumbled as she frowned at them.

 

            “Oh, I was just telling Lena about how I’m not re-enlisting,” Kara said casually, biting her lip to stop herself from smiling.

 

            “What?” Alex said, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “You’re serious?”

 

            Kara nodded and Lena laughed as Alex ran into the room and dived on the bed, laughing as she tackled her sister in a massive hug. Lena felt happier than she could ever remember; this was it. Kara would go back for another four or five months and that would be it. They just had to make it through the rest of this deployment and then Lena would never have to let her go again.

 

            “Okay, um, I have to go and wake mom up,” Alex said, jumping off the bed and smiling at them both excitedly.

 

            “Wake me up for what?” Eliza asked from the doorway, tying the belt on her bathrobe as she yawned.

 

            “Guess who’s not re-enlisting,” Alex sang as she bounced over to Eliza and hugged her mom. “I’m going to go and put some coffee on.”

 

            Eliza whipped around to face Kara at Alex’s words, and she smiled widely, holding her arms open to Kara. Slipping out of bed, Kara walked over to her mom and let her wrap her in a hug. Lena smiled as she watched them hug and talk excitedly, before getting out of bed and making it. She walked over to the door, and Eliza looked at her with a wide smile, her eyes filled with tears, before pulling her into a hug.

 

            “I bet you’re pleased,” she said with a small laugh and Lena smiled brightly at her as she agreed.

 

            They wandered downstairs to find Alex pouring them all coffee with a happy look on her face. Lena smiled at the sight; it was the happiest she’d ever seen Alex, and she suspected that she looked the same.

 

            Picking up her coffee, Kara took Lena’s hand and pulled her towards the front door. They stopped to but their coats on over their pyjamas, and Kara grabbed the blanket from the living room before walking outside with Lena. They both sat on the porch swing, drinking their coffee as they shared the blanket and watched Athena run around the garden with a stick in her mouth.

 

            “What is it?” Kara asked, looking at Lena expectantly. Lena smiled slightly as she looked at Kara.

 

            “I’ve missed you being able to tell when I’m thinking too hard,” Lena quietly laughed, before looking down at her cup and frowning slightly. With a small sigh she looked back up at Kara. “It’s just … why aren’t you going back? I-is is because of me?” Lena asked.

 

            “Of course it is,” Kara laughed, brushing the hair out of Lena’s face and kissing her on the forehead.

 

            “Then don’t, don’t do it for me,” Lena told her.

 

            “Let me finish,” Kara laughed. “Yes, I did it for you, and for Alex and for my mom, but I also did it for myself. I knew I would have to decide soon, and I put it off because I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. When I told you I needed more time, I think I already knew I wasn’t going back after this tour. I knew I was coming home to see you, I just … I needed to _see_ you to realize exactly how much I have to lose. Like I knew, of course, but I just-, I don’t know how I’m going to leave again for another few months, let alone again and again over the next two years.”

 

            “So you’re sure? This is what _you_ want? Not me, not your family. You,” Lena asked.

 

            Kara laughed, throwing an arm around Lena’s shoulders and pulling her close so she could press a kiss on the top of her head. “I’ve never been sure about anything so much in my life. Well, I mean, minus a couple of things, like being sure I love you.”

 

            “Well I’m glad you’re sure of that one,” Lena laughed, resting her head on Kara’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me you were staying yesterday though?”

 

            “You told me not to!” Kara exclaimed, laughing as she tickled Lena in the side. “You were very adamant that we not talk about it until this morning. Even if it was good news, I didn’t want to force you to listen … well except this morning, but that’s because you _did_ say we would talk this morning.”

 

            “Alright, alright,” Lena said with a laugh. “Maybe I shouldn’t be so stubborn.”

 

            “Hmm, well I mean you’re definitely the stubbornest person I’ve ever met, but I like it about you, even if it drives me crazy sometimes,” Kara told her, smiling down at Lena.

 

            “Thanks for putting up with me,” Lena said.

 

            “That’s not how I would put it,” Kara laughed, “but, you’re welcome.”

 

            They heard the muffled shout of Alex calling them inside for breakfast, and Kara withdrew her arm from Lena’s shoulder and gathered the blanket up. Together they walked back inside the house, shrugging off their coats as the warmth of the house swept over them. Making their way into the kitchen, they saw a still half asleep Maggie sat at the table, nursing her own cup of coffee as she yawned widely.

 

            “Oh look who it is, the girl with common sense for once,” she said as her eyes landed on Kara. “Glad to know you’re as smart as you look.”

 

            “Thanks,” Kara said, rolling her eyes as she took a seat.

 

            “We have pancakes!” Alex said excitedly as she put a plate piled high with them on the table and smiled at Kara. “Your favourite.”

 

            “I’ve been waiting so long for this, I think I might cry,” Kara said, creating a small stack on her plate. Lena laughed as she went to the kitchen and got the coffee pot and filled everyone’s cups up, before sitting down and helping herself to some breakfast.

 

            After everyone had finished eating, Lena shooed Kara into the living room to watch TV whilst she cleared the table and washed up with Maggie’s help. They walked into the living room at the same time Alex walked downstairs, towel drying her hair as she sat down next to Maggie.

 

            “Where’s mom?” Kara asked, looking away from the TV for a moment.

 

            “She stole the bathroom, so you’re going to have to wait, sorry!” Alex told her. “Mom wants to go grocery shopping so we’ll go with her and get the snacks.”

 

            “Just in case there’s any business you guys want to take care of,” Maggie added with a  smirk.

 

            Ignoring her comment, Lena frowned slightly. “Snacks for what?”

 

            “So every time I come home we spend some time watching all the movies I missed out on seeing in the cinema. We gotta have snacks for that,” Kara explained. “And guess what film’s top of the list.”

 

            Lena groaned softly. “Not that stupid film with those blue fuckers.”

 

            “Everyone loves the smurfs, Lena!” Kara argued.

 

            “They’re weird!” Lena protested. “But I guess we’re watching it first.”

 

            “Thanks,” Kara said with a smile, leaning over to kiss Lena on the cheek.

 

\---

 

            They were both squeezed in the tiny bathtub in the bathroom, and Kara leant back against Lena, who was massaging soothing circles into her shoulders.

 

            “Hey,” Kara said suddenly, struggling to sit up more as she turned her head to try and look at Lena.

 

            “Mm,” Lena mumbled, leaning in to kiss the side of Kara’s neck.

 

            “There’s somewhere I want to take you later,” Kara told her. “It’s about an hour upstate, it’s pretty all year round, but the during autumn, it’s breathtaking.”

 

            “Well now I’m intrigued,” Lena said, kissing her on the shoulder. “What are we going to see?”

 

            “You’ll have to wait and find out,” Kara told her, “now come on, we’re starting to get wrinkly.”

 

            They got out of the bath, and wrapped in their towels, made their way back into Kara’s room to get dressed. Lena slipped her underwear on and reached for one of her jumpers, but was stopped by a hand on her arm. Kara was sat on the edge of the bed, with her jeans half on and half off, looking up at Lena with a slight frown.

 

            “This is where you got stabbed?” Kara asked as she ran her thumb over the gently raised scar above Lena’s waistline.

 

            “Mhm,” Lena said, with a small smile. “Maggie said chicks dig scars.”

 

            Kara snorted as she shook her head. “Of course she said that. I, on the other hand, don’t dig you getting stabbed with a literal knife which could’ve potentially killed you.”

 

            “Oh come on,” Lena rolled her eyes. “Look how small it is. I’m surprised you even noticed it.”

 

            “Of course I would,” Kara said, sounding slightly offended. She grabbed Lena by the waist and leant forward to gently kiss the scar, before pulling back and smiling up at her. “I’ve memorized every inch of you, and gone over it a thousand times in my head while I was over there.”

 

            “A thousand times? That seems a bit excessive,” Lena said, wrinkling her nose as she smiled and bent down to kiss Kara. Straddling Kara’s lap, she moved the collar of her shirt to the side and pressed a kiss to the exposed skin. Lena brought her hands up to the buttons on Kara’s shirt and fumbled as she tried to undo them as quick as she could. Kara tangled her fingers in Lena’s damp hair as she brought their lips back together in a rough kiss. Just as Kara was struggling out of her shirt, they heard a door slam outside.

 

            “Fuck,” Lena sighed as she climbed off Kara’s lap, and reached for her sweater. Kara laughed quietly as she rebuttoned her shirt and pulled her jeans up the rest of the way. Standing up, she cupped Lena’s chin and drew her in for a quick kiss.

 

            “Better luck next time,” Kara said with a smile, picking up their wet towels and dumping them in the laundry basket before heading downstairs. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, the front door opened and the three women struggled in with armfuls of paper bags. Lena and Kara relieved them of some of the bags and carried them to the kitchen to help put them away.

 

            Soon, the five of them were sat in the living room making their way through the list of movies that Kara had missed out on. They spent the rest of the morning, and the better part of the afternoon, watching movies and chatting as they ate. It was still light when Eliza stood up and said she had to get ready for work, and Kara decided that they had better leave soon too.

 

\---

 

            They were driving upstate and Kara was singing along to the radio as she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel. Lena smiled as she watched her sing and couldn’t help but think about how she could sit in this seat and watch Kara sing for the rest of her life, just driving aimlessly around the country, just the two of them.

 

            It was another twenty minutes of driving before Kara turned to face Lena, smiling brightly. “We’re here.”

 

            Lena frowned as she looked around. They were still driving down a straight road in the middle of the countryside. The sun was sinking low on the horizon as they passed a tree, and then Lena’s puzzlement turned into awe as she realized what Kara was talking about. As they drove, the endless green fields on either side of the road gave way to a line of trees on either side, forming an archway as the branches formed a tangled canopy above them. The sunlight streamed through the gaps between the trees, and the dead leaves looked like they were on fire as they glowed orange, and Lena let out a breathless laugh as they drove down the road as autumn leaves fell down around them, getting swept up in the wind.

 

            “It’s beautiful,” Lena said, smiling at Kara.

 

            “I’m glad you think so,” Kara said, smiling back at her as her eyes crinkled at the corners.

 

            “Where’s your camera? You should get some pictures of this,” Lena said, twisting around in her seat to search the backseat for the old polaroid camera. She found it on the floor and picked it up, putting it to her eye and snapping a photo. Then she snapped one of Kara, smiling widely at the photo as it developed.

 

            They drove until the trees ended and they came to a small town. “There’s this diner here that does the best hot chocolate, you have to try it,” Kara said, as she drove down one of the streets. She looked over at Lena, giving her a loving smile as she picked up one of Lena’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it.

 

            “Kara! Red light!” Lena exclaimed as she turned to looked out the windscreen.

 

            “Shit!” Kara softly swore as she braked hard, and Lena laughed in shock, half at Kara cursing and half because Kara they’d almost ran a red light because Kara had been too busy looking over at her. “Sorry! Are you okay?”

 

            “I’m fine,” Lena assured her, leaning over to kiss her softly. “I’m surprised you lost your focus.”

 

            “Surprised? Really? As if you’re not the most distracting thing in the world,” Kara laughed, accelerating as the light turned green. A few turns later she brought them into the parking lot of a small diner, and they quickly walked into the warm building.

 

            Lena ordered them both hot chocolate and a slice of chocolate pecan pie to share, knowing that Kara had probably been thinking about it the entire time she was gone. They sat down in a booth by the window, drinking their hot chocolate – which Kara had been right about – and taking it in turns eating forkfuls of pie.

 

            It was starting to get dark by the time they left, and on the way home Kara turned off down a side road before coming to a stop in the middle of an abandoned field. Turning off the car, Kara turned to look at Lena and all it took was that one look for Lena to pull her into a rough kiss. It was cramped in the car, but they managed to maneuver their way into the back seat and strip off the coats, which was soon followed by the rest of their clothes.

 

\---

 

            They lay in the backseat of the car, with Kara resting her head on Lena’s chest while Lena ran her fingers through Kara’s hair. It was cramped and uncomfortable, but they were both content to stay like that for a while.

 

            “You know, I’ve never had sex in a car before,” Kara laughed looking up at Lena with a smile.

 

            Lena laughed quietly, before kissing the top of Kara’s head. “Was it everything you dreamed of?” she asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

 

            “Maybe because it’s been so long, or maybe because it’s a car, but it was better than I imagined actually,” Kara admitted, laughing as she propped herself up and leant over to kiss Lena.

 

            “Good,” Lena mumbled, giving Kara another kiss and straightening her glasses for her.

 

            Not long after, they were on the road again, heading back towards home.

 

\---

 

            They walked up the front porch steps and into the house, hanging their coats up on the hooks and slipping off their boots. The sound of the TV on in the living room drew their attention, and they walked in to see Alex and Maggie curled up under a blanket.

 

            “Looks like you two had fun,” Maggie said wiggling her eyebrows with a laugh.

 

            “Uh yeah, we did,” Lena said, arching an eyebrow at Maggie’s tone.

 

            “You’re wearing each other’s clothes,” Alex pointed out and Lena looked down to realize she’d put Kara’s sweater on, and Kara had put hers on over her shirt. Lena blushed and rolled her eyes as Alex, Maggie and Kara laughed.


	38. Chapter 38

            Lena was pulled from sleep by a startled shout. Instantly wide awake, she turned to Kara, whose chest was rising and falling rapidly as she sat with her head in her hands. Hesitantly, Lena put her hand on Kara’s shoulder, and Kara covered it with her own, giving it a reassuring pat.

 

            “I’m fine,” Kara mumbled, letting go of Lena’s hand and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She sat with her back to Lena for a few moments.

 

            “Kara-” Lena whispered.

 

            “Go back to sleep, Lena,” Kara said, standing up in one fluid motion and crossing the room to her door. She slipped out silently, leaving Lena staring at the door with a helpless expression on her face. After Lena unfroze, she quickly scrambled out of bed and followed after her.

 

            Kara was gone by the time Lena made it downstairs, and Athena was gone too, leaving Lena to assume that she’d taken her outside. Grabbing her coat, and slipping on the first pair of shoes she found, Lena opened the front door and slipped outside. It was still dark outside, and the sky was only just starting to lighten on the horizon as she looked around. Lena squinted as she tried to make out Kara in the dim light, but she could only make out still, dark shadows.

 

            Lena couldn’t find her, so she sat down on the porch swing, tightly hugging her coat to herself as her breath came out in clouds before her. She sat there shivering as she waited for Kara to come back, her stubbornness kicking in as she refused to wait inside in the warmth. She sat outside for almost an hour before Kara came back, watching the sky lighten as she sat huddled up on the swing, but eventually Kara came into view, with Athena padding along beside her with a stick in her mouth.

 

            “Oh! What’re you doing out here?” Kara asked wearily climbing the steps and frowning as she spotted Lena.

 

            “I was waiting for you to come home,” Lena stammered as her teeth chattered together. Kara walked over and sat down next to her, picking up Lena’s hands in her own and grimacing at how cold they were.

 

            “You’re freezing,” Kara murmured, raising Lena’s hands to her mouth and blowing and rubbing them to warm them up. “You should’ve waited inside.”

 

            “Where did you go?” Lena asked, taking in Kara’s slightly flushed cheeks and the locks of sweat soaked hair stuck to her cheeks.

 

            Kara shrugged halfheartedly. “I just went for a jog to clear my head.”

 

            They were both silent for a moment, and Lena stared down at their hands, watching Kara gently rub the warmth back into them. “Kara … I just-, tell me how I can help you, please,” Lena whispered.

 

            “You can’t,” Kara sighed, letting go of Lena’s hands so she could cup her cheek. Leaning in, she gave Lena a quick kiss. “I’m fine, I promise.”

 

            “This is the second time you’ve woken up yelling,” Lena said, frowning in concern. “I can’t know what it’s like, and I don’t want to push you but …”

 

            “It’s like this whenever I come home. It’s like everything catches up with me, like I have time to think about everything that happened over there,” Kara whispered, surprising Lena by her reply. “Over there I don’t really think about everything; I’m always too busy doing my job, and then when I finish for the night I talk to you and then I go to bed and I’m so tired that I don’t even remember dreaming half of the time. And then I come home, and I there’s nothing to do and I’m not exhausted when I go to bed so I dream. And I dream about the bad things, and I see the faces of the soldiers that I’ve seen die, and I can hear the explosions.”

 

            Lena’s face was white as she listened to Kara talk, and she felt a lump form in her throat. She didn’t know what to say and she didn’t know what to do. Lena had never felt so helpless before. She wanted to take Kara’s pain away but she couldn’t.

 

            “Kara,” she whispered, her voice cracking slightly.

 

            “It’s okay,” Kara replied, giving her a small smile. “I just need a couple of days to get everything back in order. You know, like just get used to being back here.”

 

            Lena hesitated before she spoke slowly. “Have you ever maybe thought about … seeing someone?”

 

            “You mean a shrink?” Kara asked, laughing quietly. “It’s not that serious.”

 

            “Kara, this _is_ serious. It’s not just bad dreams, it’s something you’ve lived through. W-wouldn’t it just, I don’t know … help to talk to someone. It’s not a bad thing to need professional help. I-I saw a therapist for a while, it was … it was helpful. It might help you too.”

 

            “It’s not that bad,” Kara whispered, looking down at her hands.

 

            “I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to … but I want to help you, and this is the only way that I can,” Lena said, cupping Kara’s face between her hands and kissing her on the forehead.

 

            Kara sighed and looked up, meeting Lena’s gaze. She took one of the hands pressed to her cheek and kissed the palm of Lena’s hand before giving her a small smile. “You’re probably right. I’ll think about it while I’m away, but I … I don’t know, Lena, I just don’t think I’m there yet.”

 

            “And that’s okay, but I want you to take care of yourself, and if you need help then there’s nothing wrong with that,” Lena told her, kissing the back of Kara’s hand. “Whatever you need, if I can give it to you, then I will.”

 

            “All I need right now is to get you inside before you freeze, and a nice cup of coffee,” Kara smiled, scrunching her nose slightly. “And maybe a shower.”

 

            Lena laughed as she shook her head. “Okay, I get it, I’ll let the conversation go for now.”

 

            “Thank you,” Kara said quietly, gently stroking Lena’s cheek. “But really, I think your lips are turning purple, so you should really go inside. I can help you warm them up if you'd like.”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes and stood up, holding a hand out for Kara to take and pulling her up. She briefly pressed her lips to Kara’s, before opening the front door and walking inside. They shrugged their coats off and Lena quietly whistled for Athena to come inside, stopping to wrestle the stick off her before she brought it inside.

 

            “I’m going to shower, I’ll be quick,” Kara whispered, and Lena nodded, pointing to the kitchen. She suppressed a scream as she flipped the kitchen light on and saw Eliza sat at the table reading the newspaper.

 

            “Oh god, you frightened the life out of me,” Lena quietly laughed, clutching a hand to her chest.

 

            “Sorry honey, I didn’t realize you were up,” Eliza said, looking up from the paper to smile at Lena. “I made coffee.”

 

            Lena poured herself a cup and sat down at the table, scratching Athena under the chin as she wagged her tail happily. “How was work last night?” Lena asked Eliza.

 

            “Mm, slow. Just a couple of drunks and an appendectomy on a child,” Eliza told her. “Nothing major.”

 

            Lena laughed quietly. “Only doctors would think surgery was nothing major.”

 

            “I’m sure your mom would agree that once you’ve done it a hundred times, it’s not quite as exciting,” Eliza said. “Speaking of your mom, how are things with you both? Things seemed better the other day.”

 

            “Yeah, things are, uh, good. Things are still a bit rocky sometimes, but we’re getting along pretty well now,” Lena told her.

 

            “I’m happy for you, sweetheart,” Eliza said with a genuine smile. “You deserve a mom who loves you, or well, another one.”

 

            “Yeah, I guess I got lucky, huh? Third time was the charm, I guess,” Lena laughed. “I really am grateful to you, Eliza. I hadn’t felt like I had a mom for the longest time, and well, you were the first one to treat me like a mom would. So, thank you.”

 

            “Oh, well you’re welcome, sweetie. You’ll always have a home here, and a family,” Eliza told her, giving her a warm smile as she reached across the table to squeeze Lena’s hand.

 

            Kara appeared in the doorway a moment later, pulling a sweater on over her plaid shirt. Lena smiled at her as she walked in, and a warm feeling spread throughout her body as she stared at Kara – Lena didn’t think she would never get used to how beautiful she was.

 

            “Morning sweetie,” Eliza said, as Kara bounced over and gave her mom a kiss on the cheek. “There’s coffee in the pot.”

 

            “I’ll get it,” Lena said, jumping up and pulling a chair out for Kara. She squeezed Kara’s arm gently as she brushed past her and walked into the kitchen. Pulling a cup out of the cupboard, Lena filled it with coffee and walked back over to the table and set it down in front of Kara.

 

            “Thank you,” Kara said, beaming up at her. Lena tapped her on the nose and Kara wrinkled it slightly as she smiled one of those eye-crinkling smiles that Lena loved.

 

            “Do you want breakfast?” Lena asked.

 

            “You spoil me too much,” Kara said with a laugh. “Sit down, I’ll make it.”

 

            “No, it’s fine. I’ve got it,” Lena argued. “What do you want? Toast? Cereal? Pancakes _again_?”

 

            “You’re really going to go against your ‘pancakes aren’t a suitable breakfast’ rule if I say pancakes?” Kara asked as she smiled up at Lena.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes as she laughed. “It’s not healthy, but you can have pancakes every day while you’re home if that’s what you want.”

 

            “I’ll just take cereal,” Kara told her.

 

            “Coming right up,” Lena told her, fixing Kara’s collar for her. “Have you eaten Eliza? Would you like me to make you anything? I’m getting quite good now.”

 

            “I’m fine, thank you dear,” Eliza assured her.

 

            Lena poured herself and Kara some cereal and sat back down at the table. Eliza finished reading the newspaper and handed it over to Lena along with a pen. With a quick thank you, Lena flipped to the crossword and set about filling it out as she half-listened to the conversation Kara and Eliza were having.

 

            Alex and Maggie came downstairs not long after, yawning as they shuffled into the kitchen, mumbling good morning to the three women around the table. Maggie flopped down in a chair whilst Alex went to fetch them some coffee.

 

            Snorting quietly, Maggie looked at Lena. “The crossword, really?”

 

            “I always do the crossword,” Lena said defensively.

 

            “Five down, three letters; who’s the biggest fucking nerd I’ve ever met,” Maggie said with a smirk, before quickly apologizing to Eliza.

 

            “You?” Lena guessed with a smug smile.

 

            “Ah shit, that one backfired didn’t it,” Maggie sighed. “It’s too early for my sarcasm to start functioning. I’m not quick witted in the mornings.”

 

            “You’re never quick with it,” Lena said, arching an eyebrow as she smiled.

 

            “Was that a pun?” Kara asked, laughing as Maggie grumbled and Lena nodded.

 

            “Finish your damn crossword,” Maggie said as she glared at Lena.

 

\---

 

            They walked into town later that afternoon, partly so they had something to do and partly so Kara could get her slice of pie from the diner. First they went shopping, poking their heads into the little shops lining the main street, before ending up in the bookshop. Lena could’ve browsed the shelves for hours, but she quickly picked a few that looked interesting and added a few that she thought Kara would like before paying and walking back outside.

 

            Together the four of them made their way to the diner, sitting down in one of the booths and picking up the laminated menus. Lena read over everything and tried to make her mind up about what to get while she listened to the other three chat.

 

            “I’m getting the pie. What’re you getting?” Kara asked.

 

            “Of _course_ you’re getting the pie,” Lena smiled. “I don’t know whether to get the pie, or try the soup.”

 

            “Fuck me, here we go again,” Maggie sighed. “Honestly, it stresses me out sometimes, like how bad you are at making decisions. Who the fuck comes to a diner and gets soup of all things. This is almost as bad as the salad last time. Just get the fucking pie.”

 

            “Fucking hell, relax. Fine, I’ll get the pie if it’s going to lower your blood pressure. I think you have a vein popping out on your forehead,” Lena laughed.

 

            Maggie gave her an unimpressed look. “Please, just tell me; where did you go wrong? I genuinely feel like you’re on a whole other level of weird, and I’m chalking it down to you being rich, but like I genuinely feel my blood pressure rising when you talk about your fucking tea that you picked up on a business trip to Tibet. What’s wrong with earl grey?”

 

            “Damn, alright fine I won’t offer you tea anymore. I thought you liked butter tea though,” Lena said, raising her eyebrows at Maggie.

 

            “What, no, I do like it. But like I’m half expecting you to start doing my fucking taxes at the table because you look like a middle-aged accountant. I’m taking you shopping when we get home,” Maggie told her.

 

            “Did you just say I look old?” Lena gasped with a laugh.

 

            Kara laughed as she smoothed the frown lines between Lena’s eyebrows away. “You will if you keep frowning like that.”

 

            “I don’t understand what the big deal is,” Lena grumbled. “I’m wearing my casual clothes. I had Jess go shopping for me for new winter clothes.”

 

            “Babe, that sweater probably costs more than I make in a week,” Alex told her with a small shrug. “It’s not casual.”

 

            “You know my mom sent me Versace sweatpants so I could look like a broke college student in style,” Lena told them with a laugh as they all rolled their eyes.

 

            “Rich people, honestly,” Alex sighed, shaking her head as she gave Lena a sympathetic look.

 

            Lena sighed, rolling her eyes at their teasing. When the waitress came over a few minutes later, she caved in and ordered the cherry pie, and a cup of rooibos tea just to piss Maggie off.

 

\---

 

            They were sat under the stars, on the sandy strip between the end of the Danvers’ garden and the start of the sea, and they had a bonfire crackling in the middle of the circle. Bundled up in their sweaters and coats, they eat held sausages and marshmallows over the fire. After Lena accidentally exposed the fact that she’d never has s’mores, Kara had let out a loud exclamation of surprise and insisted that they have a bonfire tonight, and Lena being Lena, gave in to her wishes.

 

            As Lena looked at Alex and Maggie cuddled up next to each other laughing at a shared joke, Eliza feeding Athena sausages, and Kara snapping pictures of everyone, Lena couldn’t help but wish that the night would last forever. If she could have things her way, she’d stay here and never go back to National City. She could imagine her and Kara settling down here in the future, when she wasn’t CEO anymore and when Kara wasn’t in the army.

 

            The dream felt almost too good to be true, but when Kara came back, maybe they would have it.


	39. Chapter 39

            Lena opened her eyes to sunlight streaming in through the curtains. It fell across Kara’s sleeping form beside her, and Lena blinked in surprise. This was the first time in five days that Kara hadn’t woken them up early from one of her dreams. With a small smile, Lena propped her head up on her hand and watched Kara sleep, her chest rising and falling steadily as she breathed slowly. As Lena watched her sleep, she listened to the muffled sounds of voices downstairs, signaling that everyone else was already up, and she wasn’t surprised considering that the sun was already up.

 

            It wasn’t long before Kara started stirring, and her eyelids fluttered open to reveal her blue eyes. They crinkled at the corners as she smiled at Lena, stretching as she sat up and reached for her glasses. “Morning,” she yawned, scrunching her face up as she scooted closer to Lena.

 

            “You didn’t have any nightmares,” Lena pointed out, cupping Kara’s face and slowly kissing her.

 

            “Mm, I didn’t,” Kara mumbled against her lips, brushing the hair off of Lena’s shoulder and trailing kisses along her jaw and down her neck. “I guess thing’s are settling down again.”

 

            “But I still think you should think about what I said the other day,” Lena quietly told her, pushing Kara back slightly so she could look at her face.

 

            “I will,” Kara promised her, wrinkling her nose before smiling and leaning in for another kiss. Lena obliging placed another one on her lips as she smiled, before Kara resumed kissing Lena’s neck. Lena squirmed at the ticklish feeling of Kara’s lips on her neck, and she laughed as Kara brought her hands up to Lena’s ribs and tickled her.

 

            “Stop, that tickles!” Lena laughed, arms and legs flailing widely as she wriggled beneath Kara’s touch. Kara’s own laughter was cut off by a breathless gasp as Lena accidentally kneed her in the stomach, winding her.

 

            “Shit!” Lena cursed, staring at Kara as she clapped a hand to her mouth. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you. Are you okay?”

 

            “It’s fine, just winded. I’m going to get you back,” Kara said breathlessly, smiling as she lunged for Lena, who squealed and scrambled off the bed. Her foot got stuck in the bedsheets as she tried to escape Kara, and Lena half fell out of the bed, catching her head on the corner of the dresser as she tripped with a loud bang.

 

            “Fuck!” Lena muttered, gingerly touching her head and bringing her hand away with blood staining her fingers. “Oh great, do you have any tissues?”

 

            “Oh god, are you okay? Let me see,” Kara said, frantically scrambling out of bed and crouching down next to Lena. She gently pried Lena’s hand off her head and winced at the blood that was welling up. "Oh no, it looks deep, I think you might night stitches. I’ll go and get my mom.”

 

            Lena climbed to her feet, rolling her eyes at Kara as she took her by the hand. “It’s fine, it’ll probably stop in a minute. Come on, let’s go and get some breakfast.”

 

            “Lena, you have blood dripping down your face, I don’t think it’s fine,” Kara told her with a look that was a mixture of disapproval and concern. They walked downstairs and Lena assured Kara she was fine while Kara nervously looked at the blood slowly dripping down the side of Lena’s face.

 

            “What were you two doing up there, causing all that noise?” Maggie asked when they appeared in the doorway, raising her eyebrows as she smirked.

 

            “Oh, you know, just having some fun,” Lena said with a shrug as she walked into the kitchen.

 

            “Mom, can you get your first aid kit,” Kara asked, and Eliza turned around from the stove to see what was wrong. She frowned at the sight of Lena’s face and quickly turned the stove off before hurrying over. Gently, she guided Lena down into a chair and quickly moved Lena’s hand away from her head, taking in the cut just on her hairline.

 

            “I’m fine, it’ll stop in a minute,” Lena assured her.

 

            “Uh no, I think you need stitches, honey,” Eliza corrected her, picking up Lena’s hand and pressing it back over the cut. “You keep your hand there and I’ll be back in a second.”

 

            “What did you _do_ to her?” Alex asked Kara, gaping at Lena with wide eyes.

 

            “I tickled her and things got out of hand,” Kara shrugged, grimacing as she gestured helplessly with her hands.

 

            “I, uh, fell out of bed and caught myself on the dresser. It’s no big deal,” Lena shrugged, stealing a piece of toast off Alex’s plate.

 

            “Food, yes, good. I’ll get you some more toast and some coffee,” Kara said, kissing Lena on the other side of her head, before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a loaf of bread.

 

            Eliza returned a moment later, dumping a bag on the kitchen table and unzipping it. “You girls might want to take your breakfast into the living room if you get squeamish,” she warned Alex and Maggie, who were watching with interest.

 

            “I’m good,” Maggie said. “Besides, I’m betting twenty that she’s going to cry.”

 

            Lena flipped Maggie off behind Eliza’s back, scowling as Maggie grinned at her. Pulling out an array of medical supplies, Eliza set about cleaning out the cut, and Lena tried not to wince as it stung. “Mhm, you definitely need stitches,” Eliza muttered as she dabbed at the cut. “I’m going to need to give you a little needle.”

 

            Lena sighed, but didn’t protest as Eliza opened up a package and pulled out a needle, which she quickly filled with a solution. She parted Lena’s hair around the cut and carefully jabbed the needle in, and Lena stiffened at the stinging as Eliza injected her with the solution. Kara walked over with a stack of toast, and Lena took a slice off the top, mumbling her thanks as she warily eyed the hooked needle Eliza was holding.

 

            “Okay, stay still, sweetie. It won’t hurt but you’ll feel it pulling,” Eliza told her. Lena turned to stone as Eliza carefully pulled the edges of her cut together, slowly stitching it up. Before long she was tying off the last stitch and dabbing some lotion on it.

 

            “There we go,” Eliza told her, peeling off her gloves. “All done. They can come out in a week. Just try and be careful in the future, okay?”

 

            “Okay. Thanks Eliza,” Lena said, giving her a grateful smile. Eliza patted her cheek and planted a kiss on the top of Lena’s head, before clearing away all the medical supplies and putting the first aid kit away.

 

            “You’re welcome honey. There’s painkillers in the medicine cabinet,” Eliza told her, and before Lena could protest, she cut her off. “They’re not strong ones like last time.”

 

            “Okay,” Lena said, giving in without a fight. She knew she’d probably need them later anyway, but her stubbornness would make her hold out for a few hours, but she wasn’t a masochist. “I’m going to go and wash the blood off my face.”

 

            She took the empty plate and her cup into the kitchen and dumped them in the sink, before heading upstairs. Her face was a little pale as she stared at her reflection, but besides the blood covering her face, you couldn’t even tell. The stitches were hidden by her dark hair, and Lena gently prodded at them while she waited for the water to heat up. After a quick shower, Lena wrapped herself in a towel and reached for her toothbrush as a knock sounded on the door.

 

            “It’s me. Can I come in?” Kara’s muffled voice asked. Lena yanked the door open, letting her inside before she picked up the toothpaste. Kara reached for her own toothbrush and they stood shoulder to shoulder brushing their teeth as they looked at each other’s reflections in the mirror.

 

            Lena smiled as Kara wrinkled her nose at her, bumping her gently with her shoulder, and Lena pushed her back, taking the toothbrush out of her mouth and poking her tongue out as she looked at Kara in the mirror. They pulled funny faces in the mirror as they poked each other in the ribs and laughed, before Lena rinsed her mouth out with mouthwash and turned to face Kara. Leaning up slightly, Lena pressed a quick kiss to Kara’s lips, tasting the mint of the toothpaste as she let her lips linger a moment longer. “So, what’s the plan for today?” Lena asked, arching an eyebrow in question.

 

            Kara took her glasses off and left them on the counter, before stripping off her hoodie and letting it fall to the ground. She frowned slightly as a thoughtful expression crossed her face. “Hmm, I don’t know. What would you like to do?” Kara asked.

 

            Lena smiled as she grabbed Kara by the waist and pulled her closer. Pressing a kiss to the hollow of Kara’s collarbone, she let her fingers trail down Kara’s back and toy with the waistband of her sweatpants. “Anything, as long as it’s with you,” Lena mumbled as she pressed a kiss to Kara’s shoulder.

 

            “Well first, I need to shower, and if you keep that up, it won’t be happening,” Kara laughed, gently lifting Lena’s head up with a finger under her chin. She leant down and brushed her lips against Lena’s, barely grazing them as she teased Lena, who tried to lean in to deepen the kiss but was left hanging as Kara pulled back with a laugh. Leaning back in, Kara gave her a proper kiss. “Okay, go and get dressed and I’ll be out in a two seconds.”

 

            Lena obeyed, picking up her pyjamas and dumping them in the laundry basket and heading back to Kara’s room. She pulled on a jumper over a shirt and wriggled into her jeans before making the bed and throwing open the curtains. She looked out onto the front garden and smiled as she watched Maggie play fetch with Athena. A few minutes later, the door opened behind Lena, and a moment later she felt Kara’s arms snake around her waist and her chin rest on Lena’s shoulder.

 

            “So, did you decide what you want to do today?” Lena asked.

 

            “Well I was going to go grocery shopping to save my mom the trip, and then we can do whatever you want,” Kara murmured, kissing Lena’s neck.

 

            “Nope, we’re doing whatever you want. Anything,” Lena said, turning her head to the side and pressing her lips against Kara’s.

 

            “Anything?” Kara echoed, her eyebrows shooting up as she smiled at Lena. “So if I said let’s go skinny dipping in freezing cold water, you’d do it?”

 

            Lena laughed quietly to herself. “I mean, I ate peanut butter for you and I’m allergic, so yeah, I’d go skinny dipping in freezing cold water if it made you happy.”

 

            Kara squeezed her tightly for a second as she laughed. “Well I’m not going to take advantage of you like that, so we’ll do something less stupid. How about we go to the park and then go shopping, and come home and watch movies all night.”

 

            “Sounds amazing,” Lena agreed, unwrapping Kara’s arms from around her and turning around. She kissed Kara before walking over to the dresser and pulling out a pair of socks and putting them on. Together they wandered downstairs and Kara quickly stopped by the kitchen for Eliza’s shopping list whilst Lena hooked Athena’s leash to her collar.

 

\---

 

            They walked to the park hand in hand, and as they came upon the playground Kara crouched down to unclip the dog leash and threw a ball for Athena to chase. Standing back up, Kara looped her arm through Lena’s and dragged her over to the swings. Kara sat down on one of them and started swinging her legs back and forth, building up momentum. Lena smiled and walked behind her, pulling Kara backwards and letting her swing forward. She pushed her back and forth while Kara laughed, lifting her polaroid in front of her and snapping a picture.

 

            “You know, I’ve never been to a playground before,” Lena said, her breath misting in front of her as she spoke. Kara let her feet drag on the floor, slowing herself down until she was able to come to a stop. She leapt off the swing and turned to face Lena with a wide smile on her face.

 

            “You’re about to have the best time of your life,” Kara proclaimed, taking Lena’s hands in her own and pulling her over to the swing.

 

            Lena sat down without protest and let Kara push her back and forth for a few minutes as they both laughed. Eventually Lena slowed down and got off the swing, and Kara instantly dragged her over to the slide and ushered her up the ladder. As she sat down at the top of the slide, she saw Kara waiting down the bottom with her camera raised and Lena groaned as she covered her face with her hands. At Kara’s insistence, she dropped her hands and pushed herself down the slide, laughing as she came to a stop at the bottom. Next they went on the see-saw, pushing each other up and down while they laughed.

 

            They stayed at the park for over an hour, and Kara made Lena go on everything in the playground at least once before they spent some time playing fetch with Athena and Kara took photos of whatever caught her interest. Eventually they made their way towards the supermarket, and as they walked inside, leaving Athena tied up outside, Lena looked around with wonder.

 

            “And for the second time today we’ve got another first,” Lena told Kara as they walked over to the trolleys and Kara pulled one out. “I’ve never been in a supermarket before.”

 

            “Like ever in your life?” Kara asked, looking astonished as Lena shook her head.

 

            “My chef does my shopping for me,” Lena shrugged. “So who do we give the list to?”

 

            “What do you mean?” Kara asked, frowning at Lena in confusion.

 

            “The shopping list,” Lena said.

 

            “Wha-, no you have to walk around and get it off the shelves yourself,” Kara said, biting her lip to stop herself from laughing.

 

            “Oh … well that sounds exhausting,” Lena said.

 

            “H-have you really never been shopping before?” Kara asked hesitantly, her lips curling up slightly at the corners.

 

            “Of course I have. I go in and they bring me the styles I ask for in my size, and then I buy what I like,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “And now that I say it, I’m guessing that’s not how most people shop.”

 

            “Nope,” Kara laughed. “Come on weirdo, climb on the trolley.”

 

            “What?” Lena asked, frowning at Kara.

 

            With a sigh, Kara gave Lena an exasperated look. “On the end of the trolley. Stand on it. I’m going to push you around, it’s more fun that way.”

 

            “Are we allowed to?” Lena asked, eyeing the staff members milling around.

 

            Kara’s eyebrows shot up and she let out an incredulous laugh. “Are you afraid of getting into trouble, Miss Luthor? If I remember correctly, you hold the record for the highest amounts of detention at your boarding school.”

 

            “Hm, I guess you have a point,” Lena laughed, putting her handbag in the trolley and following Kara’s orders. She quietly laughed as she clutched onto the trolley and Kara pushed them up the first aisle.

 

            “Okay, first things first, donuts,” Kara said. “I mean, it’s not on the list, but it’s definitely the most important.”

 

            “You’re going to turn into a donut by the time you go back,” Lena sighed as Kara pushed them over to the bakery section and picked up a box of glazed donuts. She pushed them around the rest of the shop, filling up the trolley with all the sugary foods Kara was craving and the things on Eliza’s list. Then they made their way over to the fruit and vegetables and Lena hopped off the trolley to help Kara pick the best ones.

 

            “Wait, is this organic?” Lena asked as she picked up a bell pepper.

 

            “Probably not,” Kara told her, shoving some potatoes into a bag. “Do you know how much organic food costs? It’s liked twice as expensive as normal food.”

 

            “But it’s better for you,” Lena told her. “Do you know how many pesticides they spray food with?”

 

            “Yes, _but_ have you thought about what they put in the donuts we just picked up?” Kara asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

 

            “Touché,” Lena said, kissing Kara on the cheek as she laughed.

 

            They finished the rest of the shopping and Lena insisted on paying at the till, before they carried the bags outside and untied Athena. It was starting to get cold as they walked home, and their teeth chattered as they talked, but Lena had to admit it was worth it because the town looked beautiful this time of year. But the warmth of the house was welcome as they walked inside, shivering slightly as they carried the bags to the kitchen.

 

            “Hey,” Lena said, poking her head into the living room where Eliza and Maggie were sitting, as she double-backed to the hallway to leave her coat and boots at the door.

 

            “Hi sweetie. You two were gone a while,” Eliza said, smiling at Lena as she looked away from the TV.

 

            “Yeah, we went to the park first and I got dragged on the playground,” Lena explained.

 

            “She’d never been on a swing before, mom,” Kara called from the kitchen. “And she’d never been to a supermarket, she thought-”

           

            “How about we just say I was wrong and leave it there, right darling?” Lena called back, very aware that Maggie was sat right there and would pounce at the chance to tease Lena some more.

 

            “Okay,” Kara called back, and Lena rolled her eyes as she heard her laughing to herself in the kitchen.

 

            “How’s your head? Do you need some pills?” Eliza asked.

 

            Lena waved away her concern, smiling brightly back at her. “It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt that much, but yeah, I might take some pills.”

 

            “So, knowing you, it’s hurting and you’re being stubborn, as per usual,” Maggie snorted, shaking her head at Lena.

 

            “Whatever. I’m going to make some coffee, would anyone like some?” Lena asked. Eliza and Maggie both thanked her and Lena paused at the bottom of the stairs, shouting up to Alex and getting a muffled reply. In the kitchen she set a fresh pot of coffee on and helped Kara put away the rest of the groceries.

 

            “So, what film are we watching?” Lena asked, brushing the hair away from Kara’s face so she could place a kiss on her cheek. Kara smiled brightly at her, leaning in to kiss Lena on the lips.

 

            “Hm, how about we carry on your Disney education that Maggie has planned,” Kara said with a smile. “You can’t go wrong with Disney.”

 

            “Fine,” Lena sighed. “Who’s your favourite princess?”

 

            “It’s Mulan. Well technically she’s not a princess, but she did save the whole of China, so she’s more than earned it, in my opinion,” Kara said, putting the bags inside another bag in the pantry while Lena watched with amusement; she hadn’t believed it was a real thing when Kara had said, but she guessed it was.

 

            “Oh, I’ve read the translation of Mulan before,” Lena said, blinking with surprise. “I didn’t realize it was a film.”

 

            “Okay so don’t get your hopes up because I can guarantee it’s not going to be the same as the real story. I’d wager there’s a few more songs that didn’t actually go down in real life, but don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” Kara told her.

 

            “I don’t think that saying applies to watching movies, but I’m sure you’ll entertain me with your singing, so it’ll be worth it,” Lena laughed, pulling some mugs out of the cupboard and filling them all up with fresh coffee. She made two trips into the living room, handing Eliza and Maggie their cups before fetching the others. Kara walked in a moment later, already halfway through a donut, and but the rest down on the table before she rifled through the DVD collection for Mulan.

 

            The five of the settled down to watch the film, and Lena sat in between Kara and Eliza, watching attentively. She had to admit, it was a good kids film, and it was even more entertaining watching Kara sing along whenever a song came on. They didn’t move for the rest of the afternoon, watching movie after movie as time passed by. No one could be bothered cooking that night, and they had pizza delivered as they continued their movie marathon.

 

\---

 

            Lena’s lack of sleep was catching up with her, and as the night wore on she found herself dozing off with her head in Kara’s lap and her feet in Eliza’s. She wasn’t sure what time it was when she was shaken awake by Kara, but Lena blinked slowly as she looked up at Kara and smiled.

 

            “Come on, time for bed,” Kara said, patting her on the shoulder to get up.

 

            “Honey, don’t forget to take some painkillers before bed. I’d wager you head is hurting right about now and it’ll help you sleep better,” Eliza told her and Lena sleepily nodded as she sat upright.

 

            “I’ll get you some water,” Kara said, gently stroking her hair before disappearing into the kitchen. She returned a moment late and held a hand out to pull Lena up. Lena let Eliza kiss her goodnight on the cheek before taking Kara’s hand and standing up.

 

            “Goodnight,” Lena mumbled to everyone, walking out of the room as their own goodnight’s followed her out. Kara walked behind her, her hand hovering on Lena’s back as they walked upstairs and into Kara’s room. As Lena stripped her clothes off and pulled on some pyjamas, Kara fetched her some pills from the medicine cabinet and watched her take them before getting changed into her own pyjamas. The two of the climbed into bed and Lena snuggled up next to Kara, resting her head on her chest and listening to the steady beat of Kara’s heart.

 

            “I love you, you know that right?” Lena mumbled as she felt sleep tug at the edge of her consciousness.

 

            “Yeah, I do. I love you too,” Kara whispered, kissing the top of Lena’s head as she wrapped her arms around her.

 

            “Good,” Lena murmured. “As long as you know that.”

 

            “Why? What’s up?” Kara quietly asked.

 

            “Nothing,” Lena said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just wanted you to know that I do.”

 

            Kara laughed quietly, pressing another kiss to the top of Lena’s head. “I know you do.”

 

            They were both quiet then, listening to the trees rustle outside the window and the muffled sound of the TV downstairs. Neither of them moved, both content to lay wrapped up in each other’s arms feeling the even rising and falling of each other’s chests. It didn’t take long for sleep to overcome them.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone who's still worried about the angst - it's not coming for a while so please enjoy the fluff/minor angst for a while yet. Like it's literally going to be ages away so I wouldn't stress too much right now.

            It was their last night in Midvale, as Lena had insisted that they return to National City tomorrow so that Kara would be able to attend the Veteran’s Day parade the day after. Eliza had managed to get a few days on work to come with them, so that she could spend Kara’s last four days with her too. In Lena’s opinion, the past ten days had gone by far too quickly, and she was trying not to think about how she would have to say goodbye to Kara again. Her time with Kara had felt like a dream, and she had only gotten used to her being back over the past few days. Their time in Midvale hadn’t been eventful, but they’d spent almost every moment together, reading books, drinking tea on the porch, watching movies or taking Athena for long walks. Every moment had been so precious to Lena, even the stolen private moments in the morning where she would watch Kara sleep, unwilling to get out of bed because she was trying to make up for all the mornings where she hadn’t woken up beside Kara.

 

            They made the most of their last night by driving out to the field they’d come to when Lena had first visited Eliza. The headlights lit up the field as the two of them sat on the bonnet of the car, cuddled up under a blanket for warmth. At Kara’s insistence, Lena was reading aloud from the book she’d brought along and she lay with her head on Lena’s shoulder, eyes half-closed as she clutched a thermos of hot coffee to her chest.

 

            “Hmm, I like that poem, quote, whatever it is,” Kara murmured as Lena got to the end of it. “Can you read it again?”

 

            “Again?” Lena asked with a small smiled. She pressed a kiss to the top of Kara’s head. “Of course.”

 

            And so she read it again, and again, and Kara smiled as she listened to the lilting sound of Lena’s voice. It wasn’t a particularly cold night, but eventually the chill found its way through the blanket and their coats and left them shivering slightly, but neither of them wanted to move. When Lena’s hands were shaking from the cold, she closed the book and buried her hands under the blanket, holding Kara close as they stared up at the stars.

 

            “I know we said the stars are the same no matter if I was here or there, but they’re a lot more beautiful here,” Kara murmured.

 

            “I would’ve thought the pitch black of the desert would’ve made them better over there,” Lena said.

 

            “But you’re not there to watch them with,” Kara told her, turning her head to the side to smile at Lena. She leant in for a soft kiss before turning her attention back to the stars. “And wherever you are is where it’s the most beautiful.”

 

            “That’s not cheesy in the _slightest_ ,” Lena quietly laughed.

 

            Kara joined in with her laughter as she gently bumped Lena’s shoulder. “I mean it though. You make me feel whole, and alive, and I didn’t realize it until I met you, but you were everything I was missing. You’re stubborn, and organized and brilliantly smart, and you lift me up and help me be better. And you’re so selfless, Lena, you would give me the entire world if I asked, I know you would. You put my happiness before your own, even when I don’t want you to, and I want you to know that I appreciate that more than you know. I know how hard it was for you to tell me to go back if I wanted to, I know it killed you inside to not make the decision for me and I love you more than ever for letting me make my own decision, even if it was the one you didn’t want to hear. You are everything good in this world, Lena.”

 

            “I love you,” Lena said simply. There were no other words for it – she loved Kara with every fiber of her being. She loved her so much that sometimes it terrified Lena because she’d never felt anything this intensely before, and the power that that love had over her was terrifying. If Kara ever broke her heart, Lena wasn’t sure she’d be able to come back from the heartbreak. 

 

            “I love you too,” Kara whispered, sitting up so she could cup Lena’s face and gently kiss her. Lena smiled against Kara’s lips as she felt them trembling, and pulled back, gently resting her forehead against Kara’s.

 

            “You’re freezing,” Lena whispered. “Let’s go home.”

 

            They both slid off the front of the car and bundles themselves and the blanket into the car. Everything was fine until they got back to the main road and the car started spluttering before it cut out. As the car came to a grinding halt, Kara tried turning the key in the ignition, and except for a lame splutter, nothing happened.

 

            “Uh oh, bad news, I think we have a problem with the engine,” Kara announced as she opened the car door and got out. “More bad news, I don’t know how to fix it and there’s no cell reception out here so we’re going to have to walk home.”

 

            “Good news, I know how to fix a car engine, possibly,” Lena said, smiling as she opened her door and got out. “Do you have a torch and tool kit in the trunk?”

 

            “You seriously know how to fix a car?” Kara asked, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

 

            “I have a degree in mechanical engineering, Kara, of course I know how to fix a car,” Lena scoffed. “Well actually, that’s a bit of a stupid statement. Not all mechanical engineers know how to fix cars, _but_ it just so happens that that’s how I got into engineering in the first place.”

 

            “Lucky for us,” Kara laughed as she opened the trunk and pulled out the tool kit and a large flashlight. Lena stripped off her coat and rolled the sleeves of her shirt up, before popping open the bonnet and propping it up on the stand. Her hair fell in a dark curtain around her face and Lena quickly tied it up as she crouched down. Unzipping the bag, she checked which tools she had at hand, and gave a satisfied nod at the range of spanners and wrenches in the bag. Standing back up, Lena flicked on the flashlight and shone it into the bonnet, inspecting the engine with a serious look on her face.

 

            She fiddled around in the engine for a few moments, working something free whilst Kara watched. After a moment there was a small spark and Kara jumped slightly while Lena mumbled, replacing the spark plug. “Okay, so it’s not electrical then,” Lena muttered to herself. “So if it’s not the spark plugs, or the battery. It’s most likely the fuel line then, or maybe the carburetor. Hmm.”

 

            “Yeah, sure,” Kara murmured in agreement.

 

            Lena looked up and smiled at her. “You know you can just wait in the car if you want. It’s freezing.”

 

            “No, it’s okay. I’ll hold the flashlight for you if you want. Besides, it’s, uh, kind of hot.”

 

            “Hot?” Lena repeated, arching one eyebrow as she smirked. Kara blushed as she shrugged self-consciously.

 

            “Hm, well maybe I should fix cars more often for you,” Lena said, as she leant over the engine, shining the flashlight as she looked in. “Come here.”

 

            Kara moved closer and Lena handed her the torch, standing close as she grabbed Kara by the waist and positioned her and the flashlight where Lena wanted her, and kissed her on the neck before crouching down to rummage through the tool kit. As Lena tinkered with the fuel line, Kara held the torch steady and watched her work as she shivered. Lena didn’t seem to mind the cold, but with the amount of screwing and unscrewing she was doing, Kara suspected that she was more than warm enough. Eventually, Lena came away with the fuel line and found the thinnest stick she could find to try and clear the fuel line as much as possible. By the end of the hour, she’d reattached it again, and covered in grease and oil, she stood back from the engine with a smile.

 

            “Okay, that should be all good now. Do you want to try and started it?” Lena asked. Kara quickly scrambled into the front seat and turned the key in the ignition, yelling excitedly as the car roared to life. With a proud smile, Lena shut the bonnet and packed away all of the tools, putting that and the flashlight back into the trunk before she climbed into the passenger seat.

 

            “I’m going to say it again, that was really hot,” Kara laughed, leaning over to kiss Lena.

 

            “Well I’m glad my knowledge is good for something,” Lena laughed. “Your mom might want to get them replaced though, it’s not a proper fix but it should get us home.”

 

            They managed to get home without any further problems, and as Lena smiled as the welcoming sight of the lit up house came into view. Kara carried Lena’s coat and book inside, as Lena carefully tried not to touch anything else with her filthy hands. She suspected that she looked a right state, with her messy hair and grease stained shirt. She followed Kara into the house and slipped her shoes off near the door.

 

            “You two stayed out later than I thought you would,” Eliza called from the living room.

 

            “We had some car trouble,” Kara said, walking in and flopping down on the sofa.

 

            “Oh god, look at you!” Eliza tutted as Lena hovered in the doorway. “I’m guessing your genius brain fixed it?”

 

            “Mhm, it was the fuel line. You’ll want to get it replaced soon,” Lena told her.

 

            “Thank honey,” Eliza said with a smile.

 

            “No problem. I’m, uh, going to take a shower,” Lena told her, wrinkling her nose as she looked down at herself. Kara trailed behind her as she walked upstairs, and they met Maggie in the hallway, who laughed as she looked at Lena.

 

            “What on earth happened to you?”

 

            “Car trouble,” Lena explained, shrugging as she walked into the bathroom.

 

            Kara poked her head in and smiled at Lena. “I’ll get your pyjamas for you.”

 

            “Okay,” Lena said, kissing Kara before she started unbuttoning her shirt. Leaving her clothes in a pile on the floor, Lena got under the stream of hot water and sighed as her muscles relaxed. She scrubbed at her hands and watched as the water ran black with the grease, before disappearing down the drain. A few minutes later she heard the door open and the sound of clothes hitting the tiled floor.

 

            “What the hell Kara, your mom is downstairs,” Lena said, startled as Kara ripped back the shower curtain and climbed into the shower, shivering slightly until the hot water hit her.

 

            “Yeah, I know,” Kara said, picking up the shower gel. Lena sighed, but let Kara scrub her with the shower gel and place kisses up and down her neck without protest. Once Lena was clean, she returned the favour before shutting off the water and wrapping herself in a towel. She handed Kara another towel as she stepped out, and they both quickly dried off and got changed.

 

            They wandered back downstairs for some coffee, and sat in the living room with everyone else for a little while. No one stayed up late that night, knowing they had to be up early to get ready for the train.

 

\---

 

            It was getting late when Lena and Kara left Alex’s apartment after dinner. It had been a long day with the train ride back to National City, and they were both tired as the elevator door opened to reveal Lena’s front door. Athena bounded over to the door and excitedly wagged her tail as she waited for Lena to unlock the front door.

 

            “Someone’s excited to be home,” Lena laughed, scratching the dog behind her ears while she rummaged through her bag for her keys.

 

            “Me,” Kara said with a weary smile, and Lena smiled back at her as she unlocked the door.

 

            “So, you still want to move in when you get back?” Lena asked hesitantly, a hopeful look on her face as she waved Kara in ahead of her.

 

            “More than ever,” Kara told her as she carried their bags in. Lena smiled widely as she shut the door and followed Kara down the hallway and into her bedroom, laughing when Kara dumped the bags on the floor and flopped down onto the bed with a groan. “Oh god, this mattress is softer than I remembered.”

 

            Sitting up, she smiled at Lena, who crossed the room and gave her a quick kiss. “You stay right here, I’ll be back in a second,” Lena told her, before walking back out of the room. She returned a moment later holding something behind her back, and walked over to sit down next to Kara.

 

            From behind her back, Lena pulled out a small box and quickly took the lid off, pulling out a small silver key with a ribbon tied to it. “So, I had this made for you after you left, just in case,” Lena said, holding it out for Kara to take. “You can leave it here when you go back, or give it to Alex or whatever. I just wanted you to, uh, to have a key so you know that, well, it’s your home too.”

 

            Kara startled Lena by bursting into tears, and Lena’s eyes widened in shock as she let out a soft exclamation of surprise. “Oh, okay, shh, come here, it’s okay,” Lena mumbled, quickly wrapping her arms around Kara and pulling her into her lap.

 

            Lena stroked Kara’s hair as she held her close, whispering nonsense to her as she tried to calm her down. Tears stung Lena’s eyes too, as she held Kara close, even though she wasn’t sure why Kara was crying exactly. Just the actual fact that Kara, who was always so strong, was crying was enough to make Lena’s eyes well up with tears.

 

            “I-I’m sorry,” Kara choked out, her voice slightly muffled by her face pressed into Lena’s sweater. “I’m sorry, I just-, I can’t do it anymore.”

 

            Lena stiffened at Kara’s words, and a feeling of panic flared up inside her. She was confused – Kara had just said she still wanted to move in when she came back. Lena didn’t know what to say.

 

            “Oh,” Lena mumbled, unsure whether she should let Kara go or just let her keep crying until she was ready to move herself. “Well I-, I mean, i-if that’s what you want.”

 

            “What?” Kara asked, drawing back to frown up at Lena. Her cheeks were covered in tears and more spilled over as she looked up in confusion. “W-what, no, not you.”

 

            She buried her face back in Lena’s sweater, and tightened her grip around her waist and Lena gently stroked her back as she waited for Kara to elaborate. “I’m trying so hard to keep it together. I’ve been t-trying for so long, but I can’t do it anymore. I’m tired of trying to stay positive, it’s exhausting, and I just-, oh god, I-I just can’t pretend that I can do it anymore because I can’t. I’ve been trying to stay happy because I-I know it’s hard for you too, and I d-don’t want to make it worse. I c-can’t leave you again, I don’t want to go back. I want to stay h-here, I want to stay with you in our h-home.”

 

            “Oh,” Lena breathlessly whispered. “Oh my darling, shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to pretend, not around me. You don’t have to be strong all the time, I’ve got you. I’ve got you baby, it’s alright. We’ll be okay. It’s not fair, I know, but you have to honey, you have to go back, just for a few more months. You don’t have to pretend to be okay about it, it’s okay to not be strong all the time. Even you, the most optimistic person I’ve ever met, are allowed to be upset sometimes. It’s okay to not be strong for everyone else.”

 

            “I just don’t want you to be more upset,” Kara mumbled, her voice hitching as she spoke. Lena placed a kiss to the top of her head as she gently rocked Kara, holding her as close as she could.

 

            “It doesn’t matter what I feel right now, what matters to me is that you’re okay. I can’t bear the thought of you putting up walls. You’re allowed to be sad sometimes, Kara, I can handle it. I’m here to help you, to listen and to make sure you’re okay,” Lena told her.

 

            “Would you like me to cry on you more often?” Kara laughed between sobs.

 

            “If that’s what you need,” Lena quietly laughed, squeezing her tightly for a moment. “You can scream and shout, or cry, or I can get a punching bag fitted in the gym and you can punch it out. Whatever you need, just tell me what I can do.”

 

            “You can hold me,” Kara mumbled. “I just want you to hold me.”

 

            “I’m not going anywhere,” Lena promised her. “Do you want me to get you anything first though? Do you want some tea? Pyjamas? A bath?”

 

            “Yeah,” Kara said. “All of those.”

 

            “Okay, you stay here. I’ll be two seconds, I promise,” Lena told her, and Kara slid off her lap, sitting on the edge of the bed and staring down at the key she held in her hand. Lena ran a hand over Kara’s hair, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head before walking into the bathroom and running the water. Next, she pulled a pair of Kara’s sweatpants out of her closet and one of her old hoodies and left them on the bed.

 

            Once the bath was full enough, Lena gently guided Kara into the bathroom and helped her get undressed. Kara sank into the hot water and closed her eyes as she rested her head against the rim of the tub. She let out a slow, shaky breath and opened her eyes, looking straight at Lena and giving her a small smile. “I’m sorry.”

 

            “You have nothing to apologise for,” Lena quietly, bur firmly told her. Kara’s lips quirked into another small smile, before she took a deep breath and slid underwater. She came back up and looked up at Lena again, who was knelt next to the bath and looking at Kara with a concerned expression.

 

            “Are you going to get in?” Kara asked, folding her arms on the side of the tub and resting her chin on them.

 

            “No, I’m going to stay right here and make sure you’re okay. Do you want me to wash your hair for you?” Lena asked. Kara nodded, smiling slightly as Lena leant in and kissed her forehead before moving so that she was behind Kara’s head. Picking up the shampoo, Lena squirted some onto Kara’s hair and gently massaged it in as she quietly talked nonsense to Kara to help take her mind off things for the time being.

 

            Once Kara stepped out of the bath, Lena wrapped her in a towel and led her over to the small stool in front of the vanity. Quickly, Lena ran a brush through Kara’s hair and dried it for her, before moisturizing her skin for her. Kara let Lena lead her back into the bedroom and help her into her pyjamas, and then Lena pulled back the covers and tucked Kara into bed with a quick kiss on her forehead.

 

            “Stay right here, I’ll go and get you some tea,” Lena told her, before walking to the kitchen and setting some water to boil. She rummaged through the linen closet and came up with a hot water bottle, deciding that it would be comforting too. Not too long later, she walked back into the bedroom carrying two cups of tea with the hot water bottle tucked under one arm. She settled the tea down on the side table and tucked the hot water bottle under the covers, before quickly stripping off her clothes and slipping into her pyjamas. Eventually, she slid under the covers and Kara automatically wriggled into her arms, resting her head on Lena’s chest.

 

            “Thank you,” Kara whispered. “I feel better.”

 

            “Good, but did you want to talk about it?” Lena slowly asked.

 

            “I, uh, I don’t really know what to say,” Kara said with a small laugh. “I’m just worried about leaving you again. I don’t want to go; I don’t want to go back _there_. I never want to go back, I never want to leave the people I love, but this time … I have someone who I’m _in_ love with. It hurts, it hurts more than I thought it would, being over there without you. I don’t want to do it again. I’ve been trying to stay positive, I’ve been trying to think about how it’ll all be over in a few months, but I’m so tired. Being home, it’s made it harder than ever.”

 

            “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to make that easier for you,” Lena said helplessly. “I feel useless. I don’t know what to tell you, but I understand some of it, and I know it’s hard. You asked me to wait for you to come home, and I have, and I will until you come home again. I promise you, I will always wait for you; forever if that’s what it takes. Me and you, we’re meant to be together, and it hurts that we can’t always be right next to each other. I didn’t know love could hurt this much, and I know I never thought love was worth its weight, but I’m glad you proved me wrong. It’s okay to be hurt about it, it’s okay to cry because you’re upset about it, it’s okay to get help for your nightmares. You don’t have to do it alone, Kara.”

 

            “I know, but I just-, I’m so used to being the happy, optimistic person. I’m afraid that if I’m not then I won’t be myself. I don’t know what else to be, I don’t know what else people expect from me.”

 

            “You. Just be you. It’s okay to change, you don’t always have to be the same person. I love you for you. I’ve seen you after rough days, I’ve watched you cry through a bloody computer screen and it’s killed me to not be there to hold you, but I never once loved you any less for being upset,” Lena told her. “You have people who love you no matter what. We can help you, you don’t have to keep things to yourself.”

 

            “I know,” Kara sighed. “I should’ve known that I could talk to you about it – and Alex. Everyone just has so much going on, you all have your own lives, and I feel like everything over there is so out of touch with things here. It’s two separate worlds.”

 

            “I won’t pretend to understand what it’s like, but I know that you mean the world to me and your family. Nothing you have to tell us is unimportant, I want to hear everything, the good and the bad,” Lena told her.

 

            “Okay. Sorry, I shouldn’t have kept things hidden,” Kara mumbled.

 

            “You don’t have to apologise. After all, I’m not exactly an open book myself. Just ... please, come to me if you need something. Anything. Even if it’s stupid. I want to hear about everything. I just-, I’m sorry that I might’ve made you think that you had to keep plastering a smile on your face so I wouldn’t worry,” Lena said, stroking Kara’s hair.

 

            “You never made me feel like that. It was me, _I_ thought I had to keep smiling,” Kara argued. Lena laughed quietly, squeezing her briefly as she held her close. A few moments later, Kara sat up and reached for her tea, and they both sat there in silence.

 

            “Thank you,” Kara said, smiling at Lena. “I feel better. I feel … I don’t know, lighter? Relieved maybe. I just-, thank you.”

 

            Kara leant in and kissed her softly, running her thumb over Lena’s cheekbone as she cupped her cheek. She pulled back slightly and rested her forehead against Lena’s as she smiled. "Did you really think I was going to break up with you?" Kara asked with a laugh.

 

            Lena shrugged embarrassedly, giving Kara a sheepish smile. "Well yeah! You scared me there for a second - even when you _weren't_ breaking up with me."

 

            “Oh god, as if I ever would though!” Kara laughed. “Not how about we watch Tangled? You have yet to witness one of Disney’s greatest films. The animation is amazing.”

 

            “Fine, but only if you sing,” Lena told her with a quiet laugh.

 

            “Deal,” Kara agreed, smiling as Lena reached for her laptop.

 

            Lena tilted her head to the side as she gave Kara a small smile. “I love you.”


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought I'd be nice bc everyone's worried about angst. Thanks for all the nice comments btw.

            It was the day before Kara was set to go back.

 

            She had seemed a little more subdued over the past couple of days, and Lena had tried to be as attentive as possible without smothering her. They’d gone to the Veteran’s Day parade, and after seeing Kara in her service uniform, Lena had to admit that she liked a girl in uniform, but she was secretly wishing for the day she never had to see Kara in her service or combat uniform. The rest of their days had been spent with Alex, Maggie and Eliza, and their nights had been spent tucked up in bed while Kara whispered stories as Lena held her. Things weren’t exactly easier for her, but Kara felt less pressure to be okay, and relieved as she blurted out all of her problems while Lena listened.

 

            They stayed in bed later than usual, and Lena lay there with her eyes closed, smiling slightly as Kara traced patterns on her bare back. The sun was fully up when Lena rolled over and stared into Kara’s eyes, gently stroking the side of her face while she smiled.

 

            “What do you want to do today?” Lena asked.

 

            “Oh, right, I forgot to tell you. There’s this new exhibit in town, just a small one from this new photographer. I was wondering if you wanted to go, and then we can go out for dinner of something,” Kara suggested.

 

            “Of course. That sounds perfect,” Lena agreed, leaning in to give her a kiss. “Do you want me to get us reservations anywhere in particular?”

 

            “Hmm, yeah that’d be nice. Somewhere nice, for our last night together,” Kara murmured. “You can pick; you know the high-end restaurants better than I do.”

 

            Lena quietly laughed, “deal. You sort out the exhibit and I’ll sort out dinner. Is everyone else joining us for dinner?”

 

            “Alex and Maggie want us to go out for drinks, you know, for a send off. Neither of them really like art exhibits so I guess we can just get dinner alone and then meet them at the bar later, if that’s okay with you. I guess my mom will just stay home,” Kara said.

 

            “Anything you want,” Lena smiled, threading her fingers through Kara’s hair and leaning in for a kiss. “Now, how about a shower?”

 

            “Mm, yes, and then breakfast,” Kara said, sitting upright. Lena slid out from under the covers, stretching as she walked into the bathroom. Kara followed her in, yawning widely as she turned on the hot water. She laughed and clapped a hand over her mouth as she stared at Lena, who frowned and followed Kara’s gaze. With a sigh, Lena stared down at the small purple bruises along her collarbones and hips.

 

            “Honestly, what am I going to do with you, huh? At least I can cover them this time,” Lena sighed, as she shook her head. Kara pressed her lips together to keep herself from laughing and Lena smiled as she stepped under the hot water and pinned her against the wall. Her lips grazed Kara’s neck and she felt her shiver beneath her touch. “Would you like me to return the favour?”

 

            “You wouldn’t dare,” Kara said breathlessly, and Lena laughed against her neck, placing a kiss there before pulling back.

 

\---       

 

            After lingering in the shower far too long, they made pancakes together and Lena called Jess to ask her to make reservations for them at the best Indian restaurant in National City. She wanted to make sure everything was perfect, that their last night would be something they could both hold onto when Kara left tomorrow.

 

            As they loaded the dishwasher, Kara let out a quiet gasp and looked up quickly at Lena. “I almost forgot about my promise! Can I have the photo album I gave you back, I need to put in the new photos before I go back.”

 

            “Sure,” Lena smiled, “I’ll go and get it for you in a second.”

 

            “Thanks. I’ll go and get the photos,” Kara said, putting the last plate in and leaving Lena to switch it on. She returned a few moments later with a stack of polaroid’s and walked into Lena’s office, sitting down behind her desk and spreading the photos over the desk. Lena walked in a few moments later and plucked the album off one of the shelves and handed it over to Kara, leaning over the desk to kiss her.

 

            “Thank you,” Kara smiled, pushing the chair back and standing up. “I’ll do it later. What do you want to do for the rest of the day? The exhibit doesn’t start until around five.”

 

            “I keep telling you,” Lena mumbled, pulling Kara closer by the bottom of her sweater. “Whatever you want to do.”

 

            “Anything, as long as it’s with you,” Kara told her, cupping Lena’s face and kissing her. “I’ll have enough time to pack tomorrow, so the entire day is ours.”

 

            “Well then what should we do?” Lena asked. “Do you have everything you need for tomorrow? Do you want to go shopping and pick up a few more things?”

 

            “Sure, we can go shopping. How about we catch a movie too?” Kara suggested and Lena willingly agreed.

 

\---

 

            They got back to the apartment a couple of hours before the exhibit, and Kara ushered Lena out of the office, telling her that she wasn’t allowed to see the photos until they were all in the photo album. Lena let out a small laugh and went to plan her outfit for this evening, leaving Kara in peace. She spent the next hour getting ready, wanting to make sure they had plenty of time to make it to the exhibit. At the sound of the phone ringing, Lena picked it up to see Jess’ name on the screen and slid across to answer.

 

            “Yes,” Lena said, waiting for Jess to talk.

 

            _“Hi, Miss Luthor, it’s-, uh, you need to come to the office. It’s important. Something to do with the a break in, I don’t really know what’s happening,”_ Jess said.

 

            “I can’t come in right now, I have plans,” Lena told her impatiently. “I already told you this, you made the reservations for me.”

 

            _“Um, right, I’m sorry ma’am, but there are cops here so I think you should come down to the office,”_ Jess said apologetically.

 

            “Fuck,” Lena cursed, clenching her jaw. “I’ll be there soon.”

 

            Lena quickly walked to her office and poked her head in, giving Kara an apologetic look. “Hey, I’m sorry, I have to go into the office. I’m not sure what’s happening but there’re cops there.”

 

            Kara’s eyebrows shot up and she looked at Lena with concern. “Oh, that’s fine. Do you want me to come with you?” Kara asked.

 

            “No, no, it’s fine. Um … I’m not sure how long it’ll take, but I will definitely make sure I make it to the exhibit,” Lena told her.

 

            “It’s fine, we can cancel the exhibit and go straight to dinner. It’s no big deal, you just take care of everything at the office,” Kara assured her.

 

            “We’re going to the exhibit. This is the last one you’ll get to see for a while, you’re not missing it. I might have to meet you there though,” Lena said.

 

            “Okay, sounds good,” Kara smiled at her, waving her over. “Come here.”

 

            Lena walked into the room, smiling as she rounded her desk and leant down to kiss Kara, leaving dark red lipstick smudged on Kara’s lips. She reached up and gently wiped it away for her, before placing another softer kiss on her lips.

 

            “You look beautiful,” Kara told her, smiling up at Lena who quietly laughed. “I’ll see you later. Call me when you leave the office.”

 

            “Okay,” Lena promised. “I love you.”

 

            “I love you too,” Kara murmured.

 

\---

 

            Lena said goodbye to the officers, and quickly pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Kara’s number. She picked up on the second ring and Lena smiled at the sound of her voice.

 

            “Hey! I’m all done here. It was nothing major, just one of the vaults was apparently broken into and they needed me to bring up the inventory and double-check that nothing was missing. I guess there was an error with the lock keypad because everything was still in there. Must’ve just shorted out and made it look like it had been opened,” Lena explained.

 

            _“Oh, well that’s good then,”_ Kara said happily.

 

            “Yeah, everything’s all good. I’m just going to leave now, so I’ll definitely make it to the exhibit for five. I’ll see you there?” Lena said, smiling slightly.

 

            _“Mhm,”_ Kara agreed. _“I’ll see you soon.”_

 

            With a click, the call went dead and Lena picked up her bag and made her way over to the elevator. Jess gave her a warm smile as she said goodnight, and Lena replied in kind, walking into the elevator when the doors opened. Lena’s car was waiting for her outside, and she slid into the driver’s side and started the engine.

 

\---

 

            Lena pulled up outside the place her GPS said the gallery was, and she shut off the car, picking up her bag and the bouquet of roses she’d stopped off to buy. Opening the car door, she got out and paused as her phone started ringing. It was Kara again.

 

            “Hey, I just got here,” Lena said as she answered.

 

            _“Sorry! I’m running a little late, but I’m almost there, I promise,”_ Kara rambled.

 

            “It’s no problem,” Lena assured her. “I’ll see you in bit.”

 

            _“Just go on in without me and I’ll meet you in there,”_ Kara told her.

 

            “Are you sure? I can wait in my car,” Lena offered.

 

            Kara laughed quietly. _“It’s fine, really. I’ll meet you in there. You go and have a looked around and I’ll meet you inside.”_

 

            “Okay. Love you,” Lena said, smiling as Kara replied replied similarly.

 

            Carrying the bouquet of flowers, Lena walked over to the building that was supposed to be the right place, frowning as she looked in through the windows at the empty place. There was no one here. Perhaps Kara had mixed up the opening time for the exhibit, or maybe she was just early. She gently pushed the door, checking to see if it was open, and walked into the building as the door gave way beneath her fingertips.

 

            It was plain inside, with white walls and wooden floors, and an archway at the back of the room that disappeared into darkness. The walls almost looked empty, except for the tiny photos pinned along the wall at intervals. Lena walked over to the nearest one on the left and frowned as she stared at the polaroid picture stuck inside a small frame.

 

            It was her.

 

            It was the first photo Kara had ever taken of her. The neatly scrawled ‘ _The day we first met’_ and date was written underneath it in Kara’s handwriting, just like it was in Lena’s photo album. Lena reached out and gently touched the photo, her frown deepening. Moving onto the next one, she saw that it was another one of her, and so was the next, and the next. All of the photos Kara had taken of them both were pinned to the walls; some taken out of Lena’s photo album and others that were completely new to her. Lena smiled as she realized Kara must’ve taken them out of the photo album when she said she was adding new ones.

 

            Lena’s breath hitched as she reached the last one stuck halfway along the opposite wall. This was where the photos ended, on a blank polaroid. There was no photo, it was just black, but underneath it, written in Kara’s handwriting was _‘Proposal’_ with today’s date written next to it. Whirling around with a surprised expression, Lena saw Kara behind her, knelt down on one knee as she offered a ring nestled in velvet up towards Lena. Her eyes were shining with tears as she smiled widely, holding the little box tightly. The air rushed out of Lena’s lungs and she opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Kara.

 

            “Before you say anything, j-just let me explain,” Kara said with a small laugh. “It’s only been ten months, I know that, and y-you might think we’re rushing into things and that it’s too soon, and well, you might be right, but I love you Lena, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s been ten months or ten years. I love you. I think I knew I would fall in love with you the moment I first saw you sat in that café. I wasn’t in love with you then, but I saw you sitting there and you-, well, you altered my entire world, and I knew that I could easily fall in love with you. You smiled at me and that was all it took, my heart went wild and I knew that you were it for me. You changed my life with one smile. You’re the one designed for me, Lena, and I-I think I’ve been searching for you my entire life, and I want to wake up beside you for the rest of it. I want you to have my last name because I know how much you hate yours. Y-you can be a Danvers, or I can take yours because your last name isn’t the most important thing about you, o-or we could hyphenate, I don’t know, I guess it’s just something we can talk about. We haven’t talked about it yet, but we could have kids! Do you want kids? I’ve never brought it up but we could adopt a little girl! We could give her a family just like we were given a new one. I know I’m rambling, but the point is, I’ve been so focused on giving you all the firsts you missed out on as a child, and there’s so many more we still haven’t done, and there’s firsts that I want us both to do together. There’s a lifetime of firsts just waiting for us, and I want them all with you. We could be _so_ happy, Lena. I’m so in love with you, I hope you know that, and you mean more to me than anything else in the entire world. I want us to grow old together, I want to love you until my dying breath, and I know you thought that love wasn’t meant to last, but I won’t _ever_ leave you. I love you, I will _always_ love you. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. So, Lena Luthor, will you marry me?”

 

            Lena had started crying the moment Kara had started talking, and she held one hand over her mouth, shaking slightly as she looked down at Kara. She couldn’t talk or move for a moment, and Kara stayed down on one knee, trying not to cry, as she waited for Lena’s answer. A moment later Lena nodded and Kara let out a breathless laugh. “Yes?”

 

            “Yes!” Lena choked out, laughing as she held out her hand for Kara to slip the ring onto her wedding finger. Once it was securely on her finger, Lena dropped the flowers and her bag to the floor and launched herself at Kara, who was in the process of standing up. She caught Lena in her arms with a laugh, picking her up and spinning her around as she held her tightly. Lena buried her face in Kara’s neck, holding her tightly as Kara spun them around. When Kara put her down, Lena quickly grabbed her face and placed a rough kiss on her lips.

 

            Kara stared down at her in wonder, smiling widely as she brushed away Lena’s tears. Drawing her close again, Kara pressed a gentle kiss to Lena’s lips, trying to push all her love and adoration into it. “I love you,” Lena said when they broke apart again, laughing as another tear traced down her cheek. “I love, I love you, I love you,” Lena repeated again and again as she placed kisses to Kara’s lips in between.

 

            “I’m not sure if I made it clear, but I love you too,” Kara told her, laughing as she caressed the side of Lena’s face.

 

\---

 

            They went to the Indian restaurant and the meal was even better than anticipated because they were celebrating their engagement. Lena could hardly believe it, she kept sneaking glances down at the ring on her finger, incapable of keeping the smile off her face. Kara was similarly happy, and the two of them couldn’t stop smiling at each other, touching hands across the table or nudging each other’s feet beneath the table.

 

            After dessert, they made their way to the bar they were meeting Alex and Maggie, walking inside arm in arm as they shared a secret smile. If there was anything that could help tide them over until Kara came home, it was the promise that they would get married when she came home. Lena didn’t think that anything could dampen her spirits now, even tomorrow’s goodbye would be somewhat bearable, even if it did break her heart. But tonight, they could be happy together.

 

            To Lena’s surprise, Alex, Maggie _and_ Eliza were waiting for them in a quiet corner of the bar. The three of them anxiously looked over as Kara and Lena approached the table, and seeing the wide smiles on the two girl’s faces, let out shouts of happiness. Eliza got to them first and wrapped them both in a hug, kissing them both on the cheek before pulling back and congratulating them. Then came Alex and Maggie, who were both smiling widely as they hugged them in turn.

 

            “Did you cry? I bet you did. You’re always like two seconds away from tears,” Alex laughed as they all sat around the table.

           

            “Of course I cried!” Lena exclaimed. “I had no idea. Although I see that you were all in on it.”    

 

            “Yeah duh, who do you think got their cop friends to show up at your office to give these two time to set up,” Maggie said. “Even your assistant was in on it. You’re not as clever as you like to think.”

 

            “ _Jess_ knew?” Lena asked incredulously. “Oh man, now I feel really oblivious.”

 

            “I, for one, am glad it was a complete surprise,” Kara said, leaning in to kiss Lena on the cheek.

 

            Lena took her hand and squeezed it as she smiled at Kara. “Me too.”

 

\---

 

            They stayed for a few celebratory drinks before they all headed home with another round of celebratory hugs and kisses. Lena and Kara went back to Lena’s apartment, promising that they’d see everyone tomorrow for breakfast.

 

            As they walked into the apartment, Kara stripped her coat off and let it fall to the floor, kicking the door shut behind her as she picked Lena up, who squealed in surprise. Laughing, Lena let Kara carry her to the bedroom and deposit her on the bed. She lay on her back as Kara took her shoes off for her and kissed her way up Lena’s thighs, before straddling Lena’s lap and leaning down to press a rough kiss to her lips.

 

            It was dark as they both lay wrapped up in each other’s arms, tracing patterns on each other’s bare skin. Lena lay with her head on Kara’s chest, running her fingers over Kara’s stomach, and Kara absentmindedly stroked Lena’s hair, smiling to herself as she lay with her eyes closed.

 

            “I love you,” Kara quietly whispered.

 

            “I love you too,” Lena replied, smiling at the ring that she could just make out in the dim light of the dark bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just btw, this is based on that Extra gum ad which had me crying for thirty minutes after I watched it, so just go and watch it and picture supercorp and cry.


	42. Chapter 42

Lena’s eyes fluttered open and she felt Kara’s arms tighten around her. “Good morning,” Kara murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of Lena’s head.

 

            “Morning,” Lena yawned, looking up at Kara through half-closed eyes, before her attention was drawn to the unfamiliar weight of the engagement ring on her finger. Smiling, Lena looked back up at Kara. “I almost thought it was a dream.”

 

            “No, it’s real. We’re getting married,” Kara said, smiling widely as she placed kisses all over Lena’s face. “Although I’m glad that you think your brain would dream up a proposal and that you’d say yes. So at least I know it’s not all me.”

 

Lena laughed quietly, before frowning at Kara as she realized what today meant. “What time is it? Why didn’t you wake me?”

 

            “It’s barely even seven, and I didn’t wake you because I rarely get to watch you sleep. You’re always awake when I wake up,” Kara told her with a small smile.

 

            Lena laughed quietly, propping herself up on her elbows and leaning up to kiss Kara softly before getting out of bed. “I guess you wore me out.”

 

            “Come back to bed. Would you like me to wear you out again?” Kara asked, smiling as she held her arms open for Lena. Smiling, Lena crawled back into bed and

 

            “Seven o’clock, did you say it was?” Lena asked, pulling back and arching one eyebrow as she smiled. “I think we have some time.”

 

\---

 

            They stayed in bed for a while longer, only getting up when they had to get ready for breakfast with Alex, Maggie and Eliza. Afterwards, they all went back to Alex’s apartment, which was half packed up for her to start moving her things into Maggie’s apartment. The five of them crowded around the dinner table, drinking coffee as they talked. They were all avoiding directly talking about Kara leaving that night, and instead decided to focus on the fact that Eliza would be leaving at lunchtime. It was decided that Alex and Maggie would take Eliza to the train station, while Kara and Lena went back to Lena’s place, where they implied that Kara could finish packing.

 

            As noon drew closer, Eliza brought her bags out from Kara’s room and put them by the door. Alex gave Kara’s arm a squeeze and picked up Eliza’s bags, opening the front door and waving Maggie out ahead of her. “We’ll be in the car, mom,” Alex said, before shutting the door behind her.

 

            With a warm smile, Eliza opened her arms to hug Lena, holding her close for a moment. “It’s been lovely seeing you again sweetheart. Come and visit whenever you want, and if you need anything, just call, okay?” Eliza said, pulling back and smiling at Lena.

 

            “Okay,” Lena agreed. “Thank you for everything.”

 

            “That’s what family’s for,” Eliza said with a smile, patting Lena’s cheek affectionately. She turned her attention to Kara, whose eyes were already filled with tears as she bit her lip to stop herself from crying.

 

            “Oh honey,” Eliza sighed, her voice cracking as she spoke. Eliza pulled her into a tight hug, and Kara buried her face into Eliza’s shoulders as she shook with tears. Lena quietly walked into the kitchen, putting everyone’s empty cups in the sink as she tried to give the two of them some privacy. Lena’s own eyes prickled with tears as she took in the sight of the two crying women holding onto each other as they had a mumbled conversation.

           

            “Please be safe, just promise me you’ll be safe. I love you, okay? J-just come home. I don’t know what I’ll do without my little girl,” Eliza choked out, as she pulled back, wiping the tears out of her eyes.

 

            “I promise. I love you, mom,” Kara sobbed, quickly hugging Eliza again, who kissed her on the cheek. Pulling back, Eliza walked over to the door, and Kara trailed after her. Before she left, Eliza gazed at her daughter once more, and with a small smile, murmured another I love you.

 

            As the door shut, Lena walked over to Kara and silently pulled her into a hug, cradling Kara’s head as she rubbed her back. Guiding them over to the sofa, Lena sat them down and made quiet hushing sounds as she waited for Kara’s tears to stop. Eventually her sobs turned to quiet sniffles, and Lena plucked some tissues out of the box on the coffee table and handed them to Kara.

 

            “I’m okay,” Kara reassured Lena, wiping her face and taking a deep breath. “We should get going. I need to finish packing.” Lena swallowed the lump in her throat as she nodded in agreement. Just like last time, she was aware that she would have to go through this in just a few hours, and each second brought her closer to that dreaded moment.

 

\---

 

            Lena walked into her bedroom, carrying a few more last minute things for Kara to pack. “I got you some extra chargers just in case, and a couple more packets of film. It should hold you over until the first care package gets there, but try not to take too many photos,” Lena laughed quietly. She looked up at Kara, and stopped in her tracks as she saw her placing the photo album on the bed, with a letter on top.

 

            “It’s, uh, for tonight,” Kara said with a small shrug. Lena gave her a sad smile and plucked the envelope out of the pile of things she was carrying, holding it up for Kara to see.

 

            “For tonight,” Lena said, resting it back on top of the pile of things she carried and walking over to the bed. Kara took them out of her hands, tracing her fingers over her name scrawled on the front of the envelope in Lena’s handwriting. She quickly packed them into her bag, along with everything else she was taking back with her, and turned to face Lena, giving her a quick kiss.

 

            “I’ll, um, be ready in five minutes,” Kara told her, and Lena nodded, leaving her to finish packing everything else. Putting her coat and shoes on, Lena hovered in the kitchen, waiting for Kara to come out. Lena let out a small sigh as Kara emerged from the hallway, dressed in her combat uniform and carrying her bag. Kara crouched down and ruffled the fur under Athena’s chin as the dog wagged her tail excitedly. After placing kisses all over the dog’s head, Kara straightened up and smiled at Lena.

 

            They went and picked up Alex before heading to the airport, stopping upstairs for a few moments so that Kara could say goodbye to Maggie. Putting the car in park, Lena turned it off and the three of them got out of the car, and Lena popped the trunk so that Kara could get her bag out. They followed Alex inside, and Kara intertwined her fingers with Lena’s, squeezing her hand slightly.

 

            Kara’s flight was earlier this time, so it was still light as they sat in the café, sipping coffee as they waited for Kara to be allowed through. They would stay with her right up until she boarded the plane again, so they still had some time, but soon enough it was time for the passengers to start boarding. Lena started panicking as she watched Alex hug her sister goodbye, making threats about what would happen if Kara didn’t look after herself.

 

            And then she was in Kara’s arms, holding her tightly as she sobbed quietly. She could feel Kara shaking with silent sobs too as she clung to Lena, burying her head in Lena’s shoulder. Lena drew back and let out a small laugh as she brushed the hair out of Kara’s face and cupped her cheeks.

 

            “Two,” Lena choked out.

 

            “What?” Kara asked, her forehead wrinkling as she frowned in confusion.

 

            “I didn’t get to tell you last night, but I want two kids. Girls. We can adopt one, a-and I know you’d probably be really maternal and want to carry your own, so w-we could have another one. Two little Danvers sisters. You were right, I want to take your last name. W-we could get a big house with a proper garden, someplace out of the city where the kids can have space to run. And I know neither of us are really religious but I know it’s important to you that we get married in a church, even though you haven’t said it, but it's fine by me. And I was thinking, w-we could have a spring wedding because I know how much you like flowers and the weather would be nice then. I-I guess there’s still a lot for us to talk about and plan, but the point is that I want this. I want this whole life with you, so you have to come home. You have to make it back to me because we’re getting _married_ , so just … please, I am _begging_ you, stay safe. Okay? Promise me, please.”

 

            “I promise,” Kara choked out, her voice cracking as she spoke. “I love you.”

 

            “I love you too,” Lena whispered, caressing the side of Kara’s face before leaning in and kissing her roughly. She pulled back to rest her forehead against Kara’s, holding her close as their eyes met. Lena didn’t want to look away, and she didn’t want to let go, but she leant in and kissed Kara softly, for the last time, and loosened her embrace. “Okay, you have to go,” Lena whispered, giving her a sad smile. Alex took a few steps closer, and the three of them walked over to the gate, waiting as the woman scanned Kara’s ticket.

 

            “I’ll call you both as soon as I can,” Kara promised them, picking up Lena’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it, before squeezing it tightly and dropping it. She wrapped the two girls in a big hug before pulling back and giving them a tearful smile. “I love you both. Look after each other for me.”

 

            Lena didn’t trust herself to speak so she settled for a nod. Without another word, Kara walked down the tunnel, and just before she disappeared from sight, she turned around, pressing a kiss to her fingertips and waving at them.

 

            Taking a long, shuddering breath, Lena steadied herself. Alex slipped her hand into Lena’s and gave it a quick squeeze. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

 

            It was dark when they got outside, and Lena climbed into the driver’s seat, her hands shaking as she tried to fit the key in the ignition. Her hands were shaking so much that she dropped the keys into her lap and burst into tears. Next to her, Alex was crying too, and Lena thought back to the last time they’d been in this situation, where Alex had given them a couple of minutes to cry it all out. Sure enough, not even two minutes later, Alex was stuffing tissues into Lena’s hands.

 

            “Climb into the back, I’ll drive,” Alex mumbled, and Lena obeyed without argument. She sniffed quietly in the back of the car, her breathing hitching every so often as Alex drove them out of the airport and back towards home. They made one pit-stop along the way to pick up Maggie, and Lena frowned in confusion.

 

            “As if we’d leave you alone again,” Alex said, rolling her eyes when Lena questioned her. “You were family long before you got that ring on your finger, so I’m not going to let you stay in that apartment by yourself again.”

 

            “Thank you,” Lena replied in a small voice as Maggie wrench over the door and slid into the front seat. The drove the rest of the way in silence, and as they pulled up outside Lena’s apartment the misery started sinking in. Of course she’d known Kara was only back for two weeks, and they’d only spent a few days in National City, but the emptiness was startling as Lena walked into the apartment. Athena bolted to the door, wagging her tail excitedly, but the absence of Kara singing or making noise was evident.

 

            “I’m, uh, going to take a quick shower,” Lena mumbled, hanging her coat up and slipping off her shoes. “You’re welcome to one too, and I have a mix of mine and Kara’s pyjamas that’ll fit.”

 

            “Thanks,” Maggie said. “I’ll order us pizza.”

 

            Lena nodded and walked into her bedroom, pulling out pyjamas and walking into the bathroom. After a quick shower, she felt slightly better; or at least her face didn’t feel puffy from all the crying. She emerged from the bathroom, avoiding looking at the bed where the photo album and letter lay waiting. Maggie was sat on the sofa, leaning forward as she quietly talked to Athena in a squeaky voice, and Alex was in the kitchen making drinks.

 

            “Some tea for you,” she said, taking out the teabag and handing the cup to Lena, before picking up her own coffee and walking over to the sofa.

 

            “Thanks,” Lena muttered, following her over and sitting down. She pulled the blanket off the back of the sofa and curled up in a ball as she turned her attention to the crime show on the TV. A moment later there was a knock on the door, and Maggie got up to answer it, returning a few minutes later with the pizza. The three of them were silent for a moment as they ate, until Lena turned to Alex. “Hey, I bet you twenty dollars it was the neighbour.”

 

            Alex laughed, smiling at Lena as she shook her head. “No way, it’s obviously the dad’s friend.” They all laughed when Alex was right, yet again, and Lena felt a small comfort in the fact that she wasn’t alone.

 

\---

 

            Lena was sat in bed, staring at the cover of the photo album in the lamplight. With a shaky breath, she flipped to the last page she’d seen. Starting from there, she slowly made her way through the new photos, careful not to let her tears drip down onto the polaroid’s. The first one was Lena’s shocked expression as she stared at the camera, with _‘Surprise! Kara’s home!’_ written beneath it. There were more from Lena’s birthday, ones of them at the bonfire, at the supermarket, at the playground. Dozens of new photos from every moment they’d spent together over the past two weeks. Lena let out a sob as she got to the blank one with _‘Proposal’_ written beneath it, and next to that one was a digitally printed photo of Kara down on one knee, that must’ve come from a camera set on a timer that Lena had missed. The last photo was from today at breakfast, and Lena smiled as she traced the photo of Kara smiling at her, with her arm thrown around Lena’s shoulders.

 

            The photo album wasn’t full yet; there was still room for more photos, and Lena remembered Kara’s promise that she would fill them up. Closing the photo album, Lena picked up the letter and tore open the envelope, unfolding the pieces of paper and taking a deep breath.

 

 

            _To my fiancé,_

_How weird is that? We’re getting married! If there was anything that could motivate me to come back to you, it’s the thought of spending the rest of my life with you. Nothing will hold me back – I’ll claw my way back to you if that’s what it takes. I mean, I always would have (duh), but now the stakes seem even higher._

_I want to start by saying thank you. Right now I can hear you in the kitchen making breakfast for us both, and I can honestly say I am so grateful for everything you do for me. I’ll miss the small things especially, like cooking breakfast together, or driving around aimlessly. All I can think of is that, after the next couple of months, we’ll get to do these little things all the time. For now, I’ll just appreciate the last few hours we have together. I thought it’d be easier this time around, but if anything it’s harder. We might’ve been separated by thousands of miles, but my love for you has grown stronger despite it, and while I wouldn’t trade it for the world, I’ll admit, it does make things harder._

_I’ve been thinking lately about our time together. It seems weird to me that I’ve known you less than a year, yet it feels like I’ve known you a lifetime. I thought about proposing a few times while I was away, and it seemed like the right thing to do, so I knew that I was going to do it when I came home. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, I hope you know that. The entire time we were at my mom’s I almost popped the question a dozen times. That night when we were in the field and I made you read that little quote five times over – I almost got down on one knee then because it seemed morbidly appropriate, considering that the poem was about love and death. I’m glad I waited though – I personally would like to think that it was the perfect proposal, and that it was super romantic and showed you how much I love you, and I hope you do too, because you deserve someone who thinks the world of you Lena, and I really do. You are everything to me._

_I know four months sounds like a really long time, again, but just think about how fast the past four months have gone. Okay, I realize that’s a lie because, to be honest, it dragged! But we made it! We made it this far and now we just have to make it a little while longer and then we can start the rest of forever. I know it’s asking a lot, but please, try not to panic, and please, wait for me to come home. I love you more than you will ever know – more than there are stars in the sky or something cheesy like that that I know you’re rolling your eyes at right now. It’s true though._

_I love you, Lena Luthor._

_Yours always,_

_Kara xxx_

            Lena let out a choked up laugh that turned into a sob as she clutched the pages to her chest. It hurt so much to not have Kara here with her, but the little pieces she left behind in the photos and the letters meant the world to Lena. She could do this though – she could make it through the next few months. Kara was right, they’d made it this far and Lena wouldn’t let anything get in her way now. It was a good thing she was so stubborn. But it still didn’t relieve the heartache she felt as she sat alone, crying over Kara’s letter.

 

            Putting the photo album and the letter on the bedside table, Lena switched the lamp off and pushed her face into her pillows to try and muffle the sound of her crying. The emptiness beside her was a giant reminder that tomorrow, and every day for the next few months.

 

            It wasn’t too long later that her bedroom door was pushed open, and Alex walked in. She didn’t say a word, she just grabbed Lena by the hand and dragged her out of bed and down to the spare room that she was staying in with Maggie. Coaxing her into bed, Alex climbed in beside her, and once again there was three in the bed, and Lena found herself falling asleep between the two girls.


	43. Chapter 43

            Lena’s alarm went off early and she half-rolled on top of Maggie as she fumbled to switch it off. Maggie groaned, pushing Lena off her and sitting up. “What time is it?” Maggie grumbled.

 

            “Six,” Lena yawned, stretching widely.

 

            “Why the fuck would you set your alarm that early?” Maggie complained, shoving her face back into the pillow.

 

            “Because I have a business to run,” Lena told her, climbing over Alex as she go out of bed. Alex sat up, yawning as she stretched, before frowning at Lena.

 

            “You’re not seriously going into the office today are you?” Alex asked.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes. “I’ve been away from it for two weeks, so yeah, I am. I have a lot of work to catch up on.”

 

            “I’m sure you can take one more day off,” Alex told her, getting out of bed as Lena argued. The two of them walked to the kitchen and Lena put on a pot of coffee as Alex raided the cupboards. Lena took a quick shower, pulling on her bathrobe as she made her way back to the kitchen, where she could smell the bacon Alex was cooking.

 

            Maggie roused herself as soon as breakfast was ready, and the three of them sat around the table, talking quietly as they ate. Lena was stubborn and insisted on going into the office, despite Alex’s protests, but she promised that she wouldn’t stay late. Quickly getting ready, Lena left Alex and Maggie at her place, telling them to stay as long as they wanted to, and made her way to L-Corp.

 

            She was met by Jess as she walked out of the elevator, and she shrugged off her coat and handed it off to her. “What meetings do I have today?” Lena asked, waiting for Jess to hand her the coffee she was holding. Not getting a response, Lena snapped her fingers to get Jess’ attention. “Are you okay, Jess?”

 

            “What? Oh, sorry Miss Luthor,” Jess apologized. “I was just … um, you said yes. Congratulations.”

 

            “Ah, right. Yes, I did,” Lena said, looking down at the ring on her left hand. “I hear you were involved in this? I should keep a closer eye on you.”

 

            “Sorry ma’am, I just wanted to help make everything perfect,” Jess smiled at Lena.

 

            “It was. Thank you Jess,” Lena replied, returning the smile.

 

            Handing over the coffee and newspaper, Jess stashed Lena’s coat behind the desk before following Lena into her office. Bringing up the schedule on Lena’s tablet, Jess rattled off the names of the people Lena had meetings with today as Lena sat down behind her desk and powered up her laptop. There was already a pile of files and papers waiting on her desk, and Lena sighed at the thought of making her way through all of them.

 

\---

 

            It was lunchtime and Lena had just finished her last meeting, feeling especially grateful that Jess had scheduled them all for the morning so that Lena could spend the rest of the day focusing on paperwork. She was feeling particularly happy at the new deal she had closed with a Japanese tech company. As Jess brought in her lunch, Lena’s phone started to ring. It was Lillian, and Lena swiped across to answer it, muttering a thanks to Jess before she left.

 

            “Hi mom,” Lena said, picking up her fork.

 

            _“Hi. How are you?”_ Lillian asked.

 

            “Yeah, I’m, uh, good,” Lena said, the lie not entirely believable as it rolled off her tongue.

 

            _“Kara went back last night didn’t she?”_ Lillian asked.

 

            “Uh, yeah. Yeah, she did,” Lena quietly replied.

 

            _“I’m sorry. Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do?”_

 

            “No, it’s fine mom. It’ll just take a little while to get used to her being gone again,” Lena sighed. “Hey, mom. I, uh, I have something to tell you actually.”

 

            Lena realized that Lillian wouldn’t know that she was engaged; they hadn’t spoken in a few days, so how would she? Taking a deep breath, Lena calmed her nerves as she built up the courage to tell Lillian.

 

            “Mom, Kara proposed,” Lena told her.

 

            There was a slight pause before Lillian replied _. “Ah.”_

 

            “Ah?” Lena echoed with surprise.

 

            _“So she did it anyway. What did you say? Yes, I presume, otherwise you wouldn’t be telling me,”_ Lillian said.

 

            “Wait, you knew she was going to propose?” Lena asked, frowning slightly.

 

            _“Yes. She asked for my blessing,”_ Lillian said stiffly.

 

            “And you didn’t give it, did you?” Lena laughed incredulously.

 

            _“Lena-”_ Lillian started, before sighing. _“You barely know each other! How can I give you my blessing when I don’t agree? You know I would never approve of this!”_

            “You could’ve given it for _me_. To make your only child happy, for _once_ in her life. Don’t you see? It doesn’t matter if we get engaged now or in five years, I _love_ her mom, and she knows me better than anyone has in my entire life. You think that time matters, but it doesn’t, otherwise you would know me better than anyone. But you don’t. You don’t know me at _all_ if you think that I would make a decision without thinking it through. You think we’re rushing into things, and maybe we are a little, but it doesn’t change anything.”

 

            _“You’re going to get yourself hurt,”_ Lillian argued. _“I told you that I would look out for you, even if you didn’t think I was, and this is one of those times. I’m sorry Lena, but I think you’re making mistake, and I can’t let you do that.”_

 

            “Well it’s none of your business, so stay out of it,” Lena snapped. “This is my decision and this is my life, I won’t let you ruin my happiness. Not again.”

 

            _“Lena please, there’s no need to be so dramatic all the time,”_ Lillian sighed.

 

            “Dramatic? Why? For wanting to marry the person I love? For not letting you stand in the way of what I want? Sorry that I’m putting myself before what you want. I guess you can just add this to the list of all the other ways I’ve disappointed you, right?” Lena laughed coldly.

 

            _“For god’s sake, Lena-”_ Lillian started, but was cut off by Lena.

 

            “Actually, you know what, I’m sick of arguing with you all the time. Just … don’t both calling. We’re done here. Goodbye, mom.”

 

            Without another word Lena hung up the phone, slamming it down on her desk and putting her head in her hands. She felt anger well up inside her, and unfortunately for Lena, her anger was tied to her tears, and tears stung her eyes as she tried to calm herself down. Lena felt stupid for thinking that Lillian would have been happy for her. She was angry at herself for thinking that things would be different, and she was angry at her mom for accepting Lena’s decision. She should’ve known better – Lillian hadn’t approved of them moving in together when Kara got back, of _course_ she wouldn’t approve of them getting engaged.

 

            Lena jumped slightly as her phone started ringing again. She wiped at her eyes and picked up her phone, and her heart skipped a beat as she saw Kara’s name on the screen. Lena quickly answered the video call, placing the phone flat on her desk so that her camera showed the ceiling.

 

            _“Hey! I’m here. I love you,”_ Kara said breathlessly as the video connected.

 

            “Hi, I love you too,” Lena replied, smiling as she looked at the screen. Kara looked tired, as suspected, but she looked fine besides that.

 

            _“Where are you? All I’m seeing is white,”_ Kara said, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she looked at her own screen.

 

            Lena sighed, picking up her phone and pointing the front camera at herself. “Hi.”

 

            _“Oh! Oh god, are you okay? What happened?”_ Kara asked, panicking slightly as she took in Lena’s red, slightly puffy eyes.

 

            “I’m fine. I just talked to my mom, I’m sure you know how it went considering that she told you _not_ to propose,” Lena said with a small laugh.

 

            _“I’m so sorry. Oh god, I’m so sorry. I messed things up didn’t I? I should’ve told you about your mom before I let you answer. I shou-”_

“Hey, hey, slow down a second. This isn’t your fault, okay? Don’t you dare blame yourself. Also no - this was my decision to make, not hers. Her opinion doesn’t change anything,” Lena told her. “I mean, it does, but only between me and her. Not us. Anyway, so she’s gone. That’s that, I guess.”

 

            _“Lena, please, don’t let me get in between you and your mom. You’ve come so far,”_ Kara told her.

 

            “I know how far we’ve come. We were moving on, I told her I _loved_ her, but none of it means anything if she’s going to be a bitch again,” Lena said. “She doesn’t get to make decisions for me, Kara. I want this, and if it means that I pick you over her, then it’s an easy choice.”

 

            _“You don’t mean that,”_ Kara whispered. _“Please don’t cut her out that easily.”_

“Sorry Kara, but this is my decision. I put up with this kind of shit for years, and if she’s going to go back to acting that way _again_ , then I don’t want her in my life,” Lena told her.

 

            _“Okay. Right, of course. It’s your decision, and I respect that. I_ am _sorry though, Lena. I thought she’d be okay with it if you’d already said yes, but I guess I was wrong. I just-, I know you’re a traditionalist and I didn’t want to ask her permission because I know her permission doesn’t really mean much to you, but I still thought her blessing would be nice. I completely forgot to tell you, I should’ve told you yesterday but I was so distracted and happy that you’d said yes.”_

“It’s okay. It was a nice gesture, asking her, but you’re right – her permission doesn’t really mean much to me, and I guess neither does her blessing, because I’m sure as hell not going to call it off because she disagrees.”

 

            _“Sergeant!”_

 

            Kara turned at the sound of the voice, and Lena could see a wide smile spread across her face. _“James! Hi, how are you? Have I missed anything good?”_

_“Nothing exciting. I heard you took all that back with you. Something about a new fiancé?”_

 

            Kara pulled James into the line of the camera. _“Yeah! I’m talking to her now.”_

_“Hey Lena. Congratulations,”_ James said, smiling widely at her. He threw and arm around Kara’s shoulder, squeezing her slightly. _“To both of you. There’ll be no getting rid of her now, I hope you know that.”_

            “Hey James. I’m planning on it actually,” Lena laughed. “Time to join you and Lucy in the married group.”

 

            _“Yeah, we’re the lucky ones, huh? We both definitely hit the jackpot. Anyway, I’ll let you guys talk,”_ James said, smiling at Lena.

 

            “Bye James. I’ll talk to you soon,” Lena smiled back at him.

 

            _“Winn was the first person I saw when I got back. I was so excited that I had to tell him, I guess he’s been gossiping,”_ Kara smiled excitedly.

 

            “Mm, yeah, Jess was very distracted this morning trying to see if I had a ring on my finger. She seems excited for me,” Lena said, smiling down at the ring on her finger.

 

            _“She really cares about you. It was actually her idea to get you to the office to distract you, and she booked the art gallery for the night. She wanted everything to go smoothly almost as much as I did,”_ Kara laughed.

           

            “It went better than smoothly – it was perfect. I don’t think I can ever remember being happier,” Lena admitted.

 

            _“Just wait until our wedding day. Hopefully you’ll change your mind then,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “I think that’s a given,” Lena laughed. “It’s going to be torture until then though.”

 

            _“I know,”_ Kara sighed. _“But just think – it’ll all be over soon.”_

 

            “Not soon enough for my liking,” Lena sighed. “You’ve been gone less than a day and I’ve already exhausted myself from crying. Thank you, once again, for the letter and photos. I thought it would hurt less this time because I already knew, but guess who woke up in the middle of the terrible twosome again.”

 

            Kara laughed, and her eyes crinkled at the corners in the way that Lena loved so much. _“Well I guess that was my own revenge for the letter you left for me. I was in tears for my entire layover. And then, imagine my surprise when I get here and I have another letter waiting for me that you sent before I came home. The past few days have truly been a rollercoaster of emotions.”_

 

            “Sorry about that,” Lena laughed. “I hope you know that I only meant to make you cry out of love.”

 

            _“Of course,”_ Kara said, wrinkling her nose as she smiled at Lena. _“I love you, by the way.”_

Lena smiled as she stroked Kara’s face on the screen. “I love you too.”

 

\---

 

            The next few days passed by slowly, and Lena spent most of her time moping around. Alex and Maggie kept her company, but still, the absence of Kara and the loss of her mom put Lena in a bad mood. Lillian had tried phoning her every day, but Lena refused to answer – she’d meant it when she said that she was done. She’d had her second chance, and Lena wasn’t going to give her a third.

 

            Lena was at the office, reading over the schematics for one of the new generators they were working on. So far, there’d been problems with overheating, and she wasn’t sure where it was coming from. With a frustrated sigh, Lena slammed her laptop shut and slumped in her chair. As she was brooding over the problem, the door to her office was flung open and in strode Lillian. Jess trailed in, shooting Lena an apologetic look as she gestured helplessly towards Lillian. Lena waved her away, and Jess quickly walked out, not wanting to be in the room when they started arguing.

 

            Sitting up in her chair, Lena drew herself and set her shoulders, ready for the coming altercation. Crossing her arms, Lena clenched her jaw as she glared at her mom. “You’re not allowed in here,” Lena said coldly.

 

            Lillian sighed, rolling her eyes as she walked closer to Lena’s desk. “Really Lena? Can we not just talk?”

 

            “I don’t want to talk to you. I’ve said all I want to, and I don’t want to see you ever again,” Lena told her.

 

            “Lena please,” Lillian begged, a flicker of hurt flashing across her face. Lena arched an eyebrow at her, not looking impressed at all. She’d heard it all before, and she’d already made her mind up. Nothing her mom could say would change her mind.

 

            “Just because I disagree with you doesn’t mean that I want things to change between us,” Lillian sighed.

 

            “Yes it does! It changes how you want _me_ to be. You’re trying to control my relationship, which if I remember correctly, is something you said you would never do. So if you’d be so kind as to leave now, that would be great,” Lena told her.

 

            “I’m not interfering in your relationship! I’m trying to make sure your heart doesn’t get smashed to pieces! I want what’s best for you, and I agree that Kara is good for you, but you’re making a mistake. You still have four months ahead of you where she could get hurt at any moment. Why couldn’t this wait until you were sure she’s safe?” Lillian said.

 

            “Because I love her! If anything, I’m glad she proposed before going back, so at least we both know how much we love each other if things go bad. Why can’t you see that I’m happy? Why are you so adamant that I do things your way all the time? I’m not you. I’m not going to make your mistakes. You might’ve rushed into marrying dad because he was rich and he said he loved you, but I’m a better judge of character than you, and Kara would never hurt me the way he did,” Lena knew it was a low blow, bringing up her father, but she was so angry that in that moment she didn’t care.

 

            “Fine. Have it your way. I said if you told me to go I would, but don’t come crying to me when things don’t turn out the way you planned. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when she doesn’t come back and there’s no one left to pick up the pieces,” Lena snapped.

 

            Lena felt as if she’d been slapped across the face, and her face was all sharp angles as she glared at Lillian. “Get the fuck out of my office, _now_ , before I call security.”

 

            Lillian looked like she was about to argue, but after shooting Lena a hurt look, turned on her heel and walked out without another word. Lena let out a breathless sob as soon as the door shut, and clapped a hand to her mouth as she tried not to make a sound. Alone in her office, Lena quietly broke down, putting her head in her hands as she cried. She wished more than anything that Kara was here, she wished that she could call her back, but it would be almost midnight there now, and Lena didn’t want to worry her. Instead, as soon as she calmed down, Lena picked up her phone and dialed another number. The call was answered after a couple of rings.

 

            _“Hi sweetie.”_

            “Eliza, hi. Um, I-” Lena broke off as her voice cracked.

 

            _“Is everything okay honey?”_ Eliza asked, sounding concerned.

 

            “C-can I come and stay with you for a few days?”


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have another assignment coming up, which shouldn't affect my daily updates, but if I do skip a day that'll be why. Also I didn't realise so many of you were rooting for soft Lillian lmao.

            Lena didn’t even go home, she just threw all of her work into her briefcase and left the office, giving Jess instructions to feed and walk Athena, and caught a cab straight to the station, where she bought a ticket for the next train to Midvale. The train ride was long and lonely and Lena wished that Kara was here, or even Alex or Maggie. It was completely dark by the time that the train pulled into the station, and Lena got into one of the cabs waiting outside and gave the driver directions to Eliza’s.

 

            She was exhausted by the time she was knocking on the front door, and she burst into tears the moment that Eliza opened the door and pulled her into a hug. Five minutes later Lena found herself sat on the sofa wearing a pair of Kara’s pyjamas, and nursing a cup of coffee as Eliza wrapped a blanket around her.

 

            “Okay, now are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Eliza asked, brushing the hair out of Lena’s face. Ducking her head, Lena tried to avoid looking at the woman out of embarrassment for her breakdown.

 

            “It’s fine, it was just my mom,” Lena mumbled, toying with the handle on the mug.

 

            “Okay,” Eliza said slowly. “So is it about your engagement? Kara said she doesn’t approve.”

 

            “Yeah, it’s about that. She doesn’t think it’s a good idea,” Lena said.

 

            “And?” Eliza asked, and Lena looked up at her in surprise.

 

            “And she’s my mom,” Lena told her.

 

            “Mhm, she is, and I don’t know about your past, but from what I’ve seen, she loves you very much. I don’t think she’s trying to hurt you, sweetie, you just have different opinions. But then, haven’t you always? It’s not a bad thing to have different opinions,” Eliza said. Lena sighed heavily, shrugging her shoulders as she tried to think of something to say.

 

            “Listen, I’m not picking sides here, honey, but you know that I will always defend my girls, right? So just know that I want what’s best for you when I say this. You’re stubborn. It’s not a bad thing or a good thing, it’s just who you are as a person. Your mom is stubborn too, and when you fight it’s usually because you’re at odds with each other, but that doesn’t mean one of you is right and the other wrong, it just means you have different opinions. I think you need that, sweetheart, you need someone who pushes you to think things through, and I’m not talking about when your mom tried controlling things when you were younger, I’m talking about your common goals. She wants you to be happy, honey, she just wants to make sure you get there in one piece.”

 

            “How can you say she wants me to be happy when she’s fighting me on the thing that will make me happy?” Lena asked.

 

            “Because she’s scared for you, and if I’m being honest, I’m scared for you and Kara too. I’m sure you won’t get married for another year or so, but the fact is, you _have_ rushed into things. Deep down you know that you have, and you know it’s because you’re scared. Don’t get me wrong, dear, I’m not trying to say that you don’t love my daughter enough because it’s only been ten months. Time is irrelevant when it comes to love, and I know that it wouldn’t make a difference if she proposed now or in a year’s time, because you both love each other and that’s all that matters. But you’re scared and your mom can see that, she always sees your doubts and then she raises them, and you don’t like that. No one likes it when they’re confronted or criticized, they raise their defenses, and yours happen to be cutting people off and pushing them away. Again, I’m not blaming you, but you need someone who can make you face that, otherwise I’m scared that you’re not going to be prepared for reality, honey. Your mom said that Kara might not come back, and well, she’s right. She might not. That’ll be heartbreaking for you, trust me, I know what it’s like to have the person you love not come home, and it will tear you to pieces. You’ll need your family around if that happens. When she comes home though, that’s going to be a big adjustment for you both. You’re going to be moving in together properly and trying to plan a wedding, which is stressful enough, and Kara’s going to be trying to adjust again. There’s going to be a lot going on, and I’m not saying you can’t handle it, I’m just saying that your mom is trying to keep your feet on the ground so you don’t float away with the fairies,” Eliza laughed quietly, giving Lena a quick squeeze.

 

            “I just really wanted her to be happy and supportive for once,” Lena said in a small voice.

 

            “Oh honey, I’m sorry. I think she probably just needs time. She wants you to be happy, you know this, but it’s going to be hard for her. She doesn’t even really know the girl you’re marrying, of course she’s going to feel like an outsider here. I don’t know if there’s any personal problems here with her too, but maybe you should talk to her.”

 

            “I think I fucked everything up,” Lena sighed, wiping her eyes. “I was so mad, and I know I can be dramatic, and stubborn, and maybe a little childish. I don’t think I can talk to her right now.”

 

            “That’s okay. You can take some time – it’s probably better actually. You might calm down and be able to think rationally. You’re so smart, Lena, you always analyze and rationalize everything, except when it comes to your mom or Kara. Just … don’t let this be the way you leave things with your mom – not now. You made so much progress, and I know how much that has meant to both of you.”

 

            Lena nodded, letting out a breathless sob. She let Eliza pull her close and stroke her hair as she mulled over what Eliza had said. Deep down Lena knew that she had let her anger get the better of her, and she was childish and had made a rash decision. She also knew that she was too proud to reach out to Lillian, even if she was willing to admit that she was wrong, and Lena had to admit that maybe she had been too quick to judge Lillian.

 

            “Thanks Eliza,” Lena said, giving her a small smile. “I know I’m stubborn, but I appreciate you being here for me.”

 

            “Always,” Eliza told her. “I’ll always support you no matter what. Even if I think you’re being stubborn.”

 

            “I guess that’s where you and my mom differ. But you’re right, sometimes I do need someone who can tell me straight,” Lena sighed. “I-I’m just … scared that she’s right. I’m trying not to think about it and she just throws it in my face.”

 

            “I know, sweetie, but I think she’s scared too. Scared that you’re too wrapped up in your daydream,” Eliza said, giving Lena a small smile.

 

            Lena sighed before grimacing as she fiddled with the cup. “I know.”

 

            “Just give yourself some time to think things over before you decide what you want to do,” Eliza said, kissing Lena’s temple before standing up. “Okay, I’ll go and get dinner started.”

 

            “I’ll help,” Lena said, putting her mug down on the coffee table and standing up. She followed Eliza into the kitchen and together they chopped vegetables, chatting as they cooked. Eliza kept up a lively conversation all through dinner, and Lena was glad for the distraction. After dinner they watched a medical documentary before turning in early. Wrapped up in Kara’s bed, Lena fell into a restless sleep, exhausted from the day’s events.

 

\---

 

            It wasn’t until three days later than Lena went home.

 

            During those three days Eliza took time off work to stay at home with Lena, and together they went shopping, baked pies and casseroles, and watched films. Over the course of those three days Lena felt the anger towards her mother fade away, and in its place was a feeling of sadness and guilt. She couldn’t reach out and apologize, that just wasn’t the kind of person Lena was, not towards her mom.

 

            She was grateful for the love Eliza had shown her over the past couple of days, and for the stern talking to she’d been given. Lena admitted that Eliza had been right about everything, and that so had her mom, but it was the way that Eliza put it that had made her see sense. That was another one of the differences between Eliza and Lillian. Her mom had a way of making everything sound judgmental and criticizing, whereas Eliza made it sound helpful and caring. By the time she was heading back to National City she realized that they were both right, she’d just been quick to assume the worst in her mom because she was scared of being let down again, and quick to agree with Eliza because she had never let Lena down.

 

            As Lena walked into her apartment, she was met by a mass of fur hurtling towards her, and after spending a few minutes playing with Athena, she decided she needed a drink. Pulling out her phone, Lena called Maggie, who answered on the third ring.

 

            _“What’s up?”_

 

            “Hey, I need to get drunk,” Lena told her.

 

            _“There’s a new bar that opened up recently at this casino. We’ll meet you there in an hour,”_ Maggie said before hanging up. Lena rolled her eyes as she stared at her blank screen before walking to her bedroom. She showered and got changed, doing her hair and makeup before grabbing her purse and going downstairs to her waiting car.

 

            Alex and Maggie were already there when Lena made her way through the crowded club, nervously looking around at the heaving crowd. She spotted them near the bar and squeezed through the gap, walking over to them.

 

            “Hey,” she shouted over the noise of the music the DJ was blasting.

 

            “Hey, is everything okay?” Alex asked, signaling the bartender for a drink for Lena.

 

            “Yeah, all good,” Lena said, shrugging as she grimaced at Alex.

 

            “You sure? Is your mom still in town? I can go and give her a piece of my mind,” Maggie laughed.

 

            “Yeah, what’s up with her research? Does she test on monkeys? I can get an arrest warrant,” Alex suggested.

 

            Lena laughed, rolling her eyes at the two of them. “It’s my fault actually. I, uh, overreacted a little bit.”

 

            “You always have had a flair for the dramatics,” Maggie said, shoving a drink into her hand. “Here, drink up. Stick with me kid, I’ll get you pissed soon enough. It’ll make you feel better.”

 

            “Why are we here?” Lena asked, knocking back the double whiskey that Maggie handed her and coughing slightly as it burnt on the way down. She signaled for another drink and Alex shouted their order to the barman.

 

            “I thought it’d be nice for a change, so I thought we might as well come here since it’s a new bar,” Alex shouted. Lena shrugged, looking around nervously. She hated confined public places where she could be recognized, it brought back bad memories of when everything had gone down with Lex and Lena had had to put up with people blaming her. She’d avoided public places a lot back then, and everything had died down now so people weren’t so accusatory anymore. Yet Lena still found herself looking for the exits.

 

            They found a nearby table to stand around, and they shouted over the sound of the music as the drank their drinks. It wasn’t long before a woman came over and asked them to follow her. With a slight frown, Lena shrugged and followed after her with Alex and Maggie in tow. She led them over to the VIP section and unclipped the rope cordoning it off.

 

            “Miss Luthor,” she said with a nod, waving the three of them through to the quieter area. As they walked into the separate section, Lena came face to face with a familiar sight, and smirked as she arched an eyebrow.

 

            Before them was a poker table, with a couple of well dressed people sat around it, while others milled around nursing their drinks and talking amongst themselves. Lena’s eyes were trained on the woman in the red dress with glimpses of tattoos showing on her exposed skin.

 

            “Roulette,” Lena said, raising her eyebrows.

 

            “Luthor,” Roulette said, looking up from her hand and smirking at Lena. “Join us, for old time’s sake. I haven’t had a decent opponent since we were in school together.”

 

            Lena laughed, and sat down at the table, handing over her credit card as she was given a pile of chips. Roulette went all in and claimed her prize as the last player folded, smiling at the man as he stood up from the table grumbling.

 

            “So, who’re the bodyguards?” Roulette asked, eyeing Alex and Maggie, who were hovering behind Lena.

 

            “Friends,” Lena told her, shrugging slightly.

 

            “Oh, that’s new. You never used to have one of those,” Roulette laughed, picking up her cards as the dealer deal them in.

 

            “I’d watch out if I were you, one’s a detective and the other one’s a federal agent,” Lena told her, smirking as she looked down at her cards. “And more importantly, they’re family. They’ll kick your ass.”

 

            “I’m shocked – you never were one to be on friendly terms with the law. If I remember correctly, the last time we got in trouble together was when we stole the headmistress’s car. I’ll be on my best behavior tonight though,” Roulette promised, throwing a few chips into the middle of the table. Alex and Maggie laughed from behind Lena.

 

            “I take it this is the girl from boarding school?” Alex asked, raising her eyebrows.

 

            “You told them about me? I’m touched,” Roulette laughed.

 

            “Girls, this is Veronica Sinclair,” Lena said, introducing them. “Veronica, this is Alex and Maggie.”

 

            “Call me Roulette,” she replied, waiting for the dealer to turn over the next card. “Make yourself comfortable. Any guest of Lena’s is a guest of mine. We go back quite some time.”

 

            “If I recall correctly, we were never exactly friends. Are you having a change of heart from all the nostalgia?” Lena asked, arching an eyebrow as the threw in more chips.

 

            “Come now, Luthor, we were such good friends. Call it what you will; rivalries, enemies, whatever, but you can’t deny we had some good times together,” Roulette said with a grin.

 

            “Hm, they were definitely interesting. I have the record for the most detentions by a student there because of you,” Lena reminded her.

 

            Roulette laughed as she lay her hand down on the table. “Admit it, you loved being the wild girl. Half of the time I didn’t even have to bet you.”

 

            Lena revealed her hand and smirked as she had the winning hand. As the dealer proclaimed her the winner of that round, Lena pulled the chips towards her and neatly stacked them next to her others as she waited for the dealer to start the next round. “Nicely played,” Roulette said with admiration. “It’s so rare to find someone who can beat me these days.”

 

            Maggie snorted with laughter. “Good luck trying to pull one over on her. I’ve been trying to beat her for months.” Lena shrugged, smirking at Roulette as she picked up her cards.

 

            “Well considering I own this casino as well as half a dozen more, I think I’ll be able to knock her down a few pegs for you,” Roulette assured her.

 

            “I like you already,” Maggie said with a laugh.

 

            They played for over an hour, catching up with each other as they played hand after hand. Lena was pleasantly surprised to find that they were still evenly matched, and her competitive side flared up as their old rivalry kicked in. Alex and Maggie joined in too after a few rounds, and their skepticism about Roulette slowly faded as they enjoyed themselves. They drank as they played, and eventually they were all too drunk to carry on and decided to fold. It was time to go home.

 

            “Hey Luthor, it was nice to see you again,” Roulette said before they left. “I’ve found that it’s hard to find true friends. Maybe we can catch up again some time for more poker or drinks. Your friends are welcome too.”

 

            “Mm, I’d almost forgotten how much I liked our games. You know where to find me, just let me know when you want to catch up,” Lena agreed. She gave Roulette a small wave and smiled as she followed Alex and Maggie out of the VIP area.

 

            They made their way through the bar, and were almost at the exit when a guy stepped out in front of Lena, blocking her path. Alex and Maggie kept walking, not realizing that Lena wasn’t following. She tried to step around him, but felt his hand wrap around her arm in an iron grip.

 

            “You. You’re that Luthor. Your brother was the one who killed all those people,” he shouted over the music, slurring his words as he spoke. Lena frowned, trying to pull her arm out away from him, but he held on tightly.

 

            “Get your fucking hands off me,” Lena spat at him, twisting in his grip.

 

            “I bet you’re just like him,” he said, shaking her slightly as his friends laughed and hurled insults at her.

 

            “Hey asshole, get your fucking hands off her,” Maggie said, appearing at his elbow and shoving him slightly. Everything moved quickly, and the next thing Lena knew she’d picked up a glass off the nearest table and smashed it into the side of the guy’s head and punched him square in the nose. Alex and Maggie stared at her open mouthed, and then Maggie darted into action as one of his friends grabbed Lena by the hair and pulled her backwards.

 

            Between the three of them, they wreaked havoc in the bar, causing an outright brawl as they threw punches and drinks everywhere. It took a few minutes before security managed to pull the three girls away from the group of boys, and Lena, who by that point was so drunk that she could barely walk, was hoisted over the security guard’s shoulder as the three of them were escorted out of the club. Outside, the security guard put her down and Lena laughed as she stumbled slightly, wiping at her nose, which was bleeding from one of the punches she sustained.

 

            The three of them were giggling as they tripped and stumbled over to the first cab that pulled up, and gave the driver directions to Lena’s place as she collapsed into the back.

 

\---

 

            Lena woke up the next morning aching everywhere. Her head was pounding as she sat upright, realizing she was asleep on the kitchen floor with a towel draped over her. She was still dressed in last night’s clothes, and she moaned as she struggled to unzip the back of her dress. Everything started spinning as Lena climbed to her feet and stumbled in the direction of the bathroom, cursing quietly to herself as she went. Opening the door, she walked inside to find Maggie asleep in the bathtub, clutching an empty bottle of scotch to her chest. Ignoring her, Lena slipped her dress off and was about to strip off her underwear when she caught sight of herself in the mirror and let out a shout.

 

            “What the fuck!” she yelled, startling Maggie, who bolted upright in the tub and frantically looked around.

 

            “Shut the fuck up,” Maggie groaned, wincing as she settled back down in the bath.

 

            “Have you seen my fucking face?” Lena asked, whirling around to stare at Maggie, and letting out a gasp as she took in Maggie’s bloodied and bruised face.

 

            She looked almost as bad as Lena did. Her own face was sporting a black eye, a bloody nose and a split lip that had swollen to twice its size, along with a dozen other cuts and bruises. Looking down at her hand, Lena bit back a curse as she took in the bloody and bruised knuckles. She dimly remembered getting into a fight, but she couldn’t remember it being that bad. Lena looked back at the mirror and stared at her reflection as she poked and prodded her face.

 

            “Oh fuck.”


	45. Chapter 45

            Skipping the shower for the time being, Lena went in search of Alex, who she found fast asleep, tucked up in Lena’s bed as she cuddled with Athena. Apparently she’d had the good sense to find a proper bed last night. Her face was pushed into the pillows, but Alex’s knuckles were split open and covered in blood so Lena assumed that Alex must have looked pretty similar to her and Maggie.

 

            As Lena walked over to her closet, she heard a movement behind her and Athena jumped off the bed, wagging her tail as she wandered over to Lena. Crouching down, Lena scratched her under the chin as Athena sniffed her. She probably smelt disgusting with the amount of blood she was covered in, and Lena was slightly sticky from the alcohol that she was covered in. Frowning, Lena tried to remember what had happened but things were kind of hazy.

 

            “Oh my god,” Alex said, sitting up and wincing at the bright light streaming in through the open windows. “Ow, fuck.”

 

            Lena looked up at her and pressed her lips together as she tried not to laugh. Alex had two black eyes and her chin was covered in blood from her split lip. “You look like a raccoon,” Lena laughed, standing up.

 

            Alex turned her attention to Lena and her eyes widened. “What happened to you?!”

 

            “I was hoping you could tell me,” Lena said, laughing and then wincing as pain lanced through her ribs. Looking down, Lena saw that the left side of her chest was mottled black and purple with bruises.

 

            “You didn’t look that bad when I put you to bed last night,” Alex told her, stumbling out of bed and catching herself on the bedside table.

 

            “You left me on the kitchen floor! With a towel as a blanket! I’d hardly say you put me to bed or were in any position to judge how I was,” Lena exclaimed before she started laughing. “I’m glad to see you looked after yourself though. You weren’t too drunk to put yourself in _my_ bed.”

 

            “I think I was the least drunk out of the three of us, which is saying something because I think we drank half of your liquor cabinet when we got home,” Alex said, stretching and wincing in pain as her muscles ached. “Where’s Maggie?”

 

            “She’s sleeping in the bath,” Lena said, shrugging casually as she tried not to laugh.

 

            “In the bath? Jesus Christ. I’m really glad Kara’s not here, I don’t think she’d be impressed with our behavior last night. We’d probably get a lecture,” Alex mumbled walking over to the door and heading towards the kitchen. Lena followed after her, and her eyes widened as she took in the state of the kitchen, which she’d missed when she woken up. Alex was right, they’d emptied the liquor cabinet, and raided the fridge and cupboards too. There were empty and half-full bottles everywhere, and open packets of chips and snacks covered the counters.

 

            “So, what exactly happened last night?” Lena asked. “I remember a bit of the fight and then everything else is kind of a blur. I swear I wasn’t that drunk.”

 

            “That dick started on you and you glassed him with the nearest cup you found. It was actually kind of badass. And then, well, the three of us started fighting the entire group of those assholes. There was like twelve of them, I think we did pretty well all things considered. I personally feel like I carried us in that fight though; you mostly threw drinks and tried to punch. How’s your hand? It might be broken. We probably should’ve gone to the hospital last night but I don’t think we even realized the state we were in. Anyway, you had to get carried out of the bar and then we all got in a cab. I think we started going home, and I don’t know what time we got back here but then we thought it’d be funny to carry on drinking. And yeah, I think that was basically it. You did fall over in the kitchen, I remember that. it seemed like a lot of effort to carry you at that point so we just left you. I’m not sure how Maggie ended up in the bath though.”

 

            “Oh my god. Who the fuck thought this was a good idea?” Lena moaned. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, and my mouth tastes like an ashtray. Fuck me.”

 

            “Oh yeah! I remember; we stopped off on the way home for kebabs and there were these bikers hanging around. You started pulling cigarettes out of their mouths and just smoking them. Fuck, that was gross. You’re a messy drunk, it was hilarious,” Alex laughed.

 

            They were still laughing when there was a ringing sound of someone’s phone. They found Lena’s phone inside the dishwasher, which thankfully they’d been smart enough, or possibly too drunk, to turn on. She stared down at the screen in horror as she saw Kara’s name pop up for a video call. She looked at the clock on the wall and realized it was lunch time already. “It’s your fucking sister,” Lena hissed. “I can’t answer it; you’re going to have to distract her for me.”

 

            “What?! I’m not talking to her, she’ll kill me!” Alex argued.

 

            Lena threw the phone to Alex, who caught it out of reflex. “Answer the fucking phone, Alex.”

 

            “No! Why do I have to do it? Just don’t answer it,” Alex told her.

 

            “If I don’t answer she’ll think something’s wrong,” Lena protested. “Please. Just tell her I’m in bed or something.”

 

            Mumbling a few choice swear words, Alex answered the call, pointing the camera straight up at the ceiling. “Hey you, it’s me,” Alex said, trying to sound optimistic and less like she was hungover. “Lena’s just making a phone call to the office.”

 

            _“Alex? What? This is her phone. I’m literally talking to you on her phone. Why can’t I see you?”_ Kara asked. Alex sighed and turned the camera on herself, giving Kara a helpless shrug as she smiled innocently. _“ALEXANDRA DANVERS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”_

 

            “Okay so hear me out, I was defending your girlfriend and things kind of got out of hand. In our defense we were very drunk and we weren’t exactly at peak performance,” Alex explained.

 

            _“What do you mean you were defending Lena? Where is she? Let me talk to her,”_ Kara commanded.

 

            “Well, you see, she’s still in the middle of her … phone call, so she can’t make it to the phone right now,” Alex said, grimacing as she gave Kara an apologetic look. “Can’t be helped, I’m afraid.”

 

            _“Alex Danvers I swear to god, you better put her on the phone or I’ll fly back and kick your ass, even if it gets me court-martialed,”_ Kara threatened.

 

            “Sorry, I tried,” Alex said, looking at Lena and holding the phone out. With a sigh, Lena took the phone and held it away from her face, trying to avoid Kara seeing the state she was in.

 

            “Hi darling, how was your day?” Lena said, trying to distract her.

 

            _“Cut the shit, Lena. What the hell happened to you? Put the camera on yourself. I swear, you better not have a single scratch on you or I’m … I don’t know, but I’ll think of something. I, uh, I’ll ground you! I’ll make sure you’re not allowed to hang out with Alex or Maggie for a month,”_ Kara said, sounding slightly pissed off.

 

            Sighing again, Lena put the camera on herself. “I mean, I have more than a single scratch so technically you can’t be mad. And at least I don’t look like Kung Fu panda over there.”

 

            _“LENA LILY LUTHOR WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE,”_ Kara yelled, her face like thunder as she stared at Lena through the screen. Lena blinked in surprise at Kara cursing and her mouth fell open as she spluttered, trying to come up with a response.

 

            “Ooo, you’re in for it now,” Alex muttered, laughing quietly as she started clearing up the kitchen. “She used your middle name _and_ swore.”

 

            “Piss off Alex,” Lena said, flipping her off before turning her attention back to Kara. “I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to get into a fight. Honestly. Things just got out of hand. It’s not as bad as it looks, I promise. I just woke up so I haven’t showered yet, but I’m sure it’s fine.”

 

            _“That is not the definition of fine, Lena! What were you thinking?”_ Kara said, frowning angrily at her.

 

            “Hey, I didn’t start this!” Lena argued. “Some dick came up and got in my face, was I just supposed to just take it?”

 

            _“No! But you don’t start fighting people. Wait, it was a guy? Jesus Christ, Lena. He could’ve knocked you out with one punch!”_

“Not your girl, he couldn’t. He didn’t even have time to blink before she’d smashed a glass across his head,” Alex laughed. “She’s hardcore.”

 

            “Nice, Alex. Thanks, that’s really helping my case here,” Lena snapped.

 

            _“You hit him with a glass?! Oh my god, you’re unbelievable. I expected this from my sister and Maggie, but not from you,”_ Kara said, giving her a disappointed look. Lena scowled as she listened to Kara lecture her.

 

            “I don’t see what the big deal it!” Lena said. “It lasted all of five minutes, we’re all fine … or, you know, not badly hurt. They had it coming, and I don’t know, maybe we shouldn’t have started a bar brawl when we were drunk, but it’s not the worst thing that I’ve ever done.”

 

            _“’Maybe we shouldn’t have’ oh really, you think? You could’ve been seriously hurt. You could’ve been arrested! Look at yourself, Lena. God, for someone so smart you have no common sense,”_ Kara snapped.

 

            “I don’t understand why you’re so pissed!” Lena said, giving Kara an exasperated look. “Come on, you can’t tell me you’ve never gotten into a fight before.”

 

            Kara spluttered at Lena’s words. _“You don’t understand why I’m pissed? Because you’re covered in blood! You look like you’ve been dragged through a bush backwards. You look like a fucking vampire that decided to have a quick snack. And no, Lena, I’ve never gotten into a fist fight with a drunken man.”_

Lena rolled her eyes, trying not to laugh at her. “This language is appalling, Kara Danvers.”

 

            _“Now’s not the time for jokes Lena,”_ Kara snapped, even as her lips twitched at the corners.

 

            “Come on, Kara. I said I was sorry. I promise I’ll try not to get into anymore fights, but be reasonable, would you have preferred me to just stand there and let him attack me?” Lena asked, cocking an eyebrow as she tried not to smile.

 

            _“Well, no. Obviously not. I just … you’re covered in blood and bruises, Lena! And so is my sister, and I’m sure Maggie is too because I bet she was the first to jump in. The three of you could’ve been badly hurt. Did you even go to the hospital? Oh god, the paparazzi, imagine what they’ll say when they see your face! And Alex! Don’t think you’re getting away with this too! I’m telling mom,”_ Kara said.

 

            “No! You cannot tell mom! Don’t be such a tattletale, Kara,” Alex told her. “Snitches get stitches.”

 

            _“I think you guys are the ones who need stitches. Honestly, go to the hospital and sort yourself out. I feel bad just looking at you. You three are going to be the death of me, I swear,”_ Kara sighed.

 

            “Hey guys, why do I have a piece of glass stuck in my hand?” Maggie asked, walking into the kitchen with her hand held up in front of her face as she blinked from the brightness of the midday sun. There was a shard of glass sticking out of the fleshy part just beneath her thumb and Lena let out a groan. Maggie had _perfect_ timing.

 

            “Fucking hell,” Lena sighed, rubbing her head.

 

            _“I have to go. I can’t listen anymore,”_ Kara said, shaking her head as she tutted.

 

            “I’m sorry,” Lena apologized.

 

            _“It’s fine. Just … go to the hospital, okay? So I don’t worry,”_ Kara said with a sigh. _“D-did you kick all of their asses?”_

 

            “Yeah, we did,” Lena said, giving her a smile.

 

            _“Good,”_ Kara said, smiling even as she shook her head. _“I love you, you stubborn idiot.”_

 

            “Yeah, I love you too,” Lena told her, laughing quietly.

 

            They hung up a moment later and Lena sighed. “Well she’s pissed.”

 

            “No shit. What did you expect?” Maggie laughed. “We should probably listen to her and go to the hospital though. Unless one of you knows how to remove the glass and stitch me up. Also your nose looks like it might be broken.”

 

            “I swear to fucking god, if it’s broken I’m killing one of you,” Lena said, gingerly touching her nose.

 

            “Us? You started it!” Maggie argued. “Besides, you can afford a new one.”

 

            “Now now children, no fighting,” Alex said, looking amused.

 

            “You’re only saying that because you look like you got off easy,” Maggie grumbled, throwing her girlfriend a dark look.

 

            “That’s because I’m a federal agent, and I drank the least,” Alex said smugly.

 

            “Whatever,” Maggie huffed. “And you – put some fucking clothes on. I’m cold just looking at you.”

 

            Lena scowled at her as she crossed her arms over her chest. She half stumbled towards the bathroom and stripped off her underwear before stepping into the shower. It took longer than usual as she washed the alcohol and blood off of herself, cursing each time she pressed too hard. She was becoming more aware of the pain as she sobered up slightly, and that, combined with her hangover made Lena grumpy.

 

            She got out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel before turning to the mirror. As she took in her reflection, Lena let out a groan. All the blood was gone but she didn’t look that much better. One eye was slightly swollen and circled by a black bruise, and the other one had a smaller purple bruise at the corner of it. Her lips were still twice the size and covered in cuts, and her nose was slightly swollen, but they looked better than they had earlier without all of the blood. Still, Lena was annoyed at the numerous cuts covering her face that she wouldn’t be able to hide.

 

            Walking to her bedroom, Lena opened the door to see Alex making her bed. She looked up as Lena walked in and bit her lip as she tried to keep herself from laughing. Lena rolled her eyes as she walked into her closet. “Go ahead, laugh at me,” Lena called as she pulled on some underwear. “But at least I don’t look like a fucking bandit.”

 

            Alex’s laughter floated towards her, and Lena rolled her eyes again. “Do you think anything’s broken?”

 

            “My nose hurts, but I don’t think it’s broken. My hand is fucking killing; I can’t bend my fingers properly without it hurting. I think I fucked it up from badly aimed punches,” Lena complained, looking down at her split knuckles.

 

            “Just let me take a quick shower and we’ll get going,” Alex said. Lena quickly pulled on a sweater and a pair of jeans, settling for something comfy and inconspicuous.

 

\---

 

            The three of them were sat in Lena’s living room, drinking coffee and eating McDonald’s to cure their hangover. Lena’s right hand was encased in a cast, her ribs were tightly wrapped, and her ego was as bruised as the rest of her as she listened to Eliza’s lecture through Alex’s phone on loud speaker. Aside from her two black eyes, Alex had three broken fingers, four split knuckles and one cracked rib. Maggie’s hand had been stitched and wrapped after the glass had been pulled out, and aside from a few other cuts, she was fine too. It looked like Lena had gotten the worst of it, being the one with the least experience in self defense. She could throw a decent punch, but she was no expert. She really aught to look into getting lessons off Alex.

 

            “We’re adults, mom, we can take care of ourselves,” Alex argued. “I don’t know why Kara had to tell you in the first place. I specifically told her _not_ to.”

 

            _“Alexandra Danvers don’t you dare blame your sister for this!”_ Eliza shouted through the phone.

 

            “I’m not blaming her!” Alex protested. “I just don’t think it was necessary for you to know.”

 

            _“I’m your mother, Alex, of course it’s necessary for me to know when my kids are hurt. What were you thinking? You’re too old to be acting so childish. All three of you. You’re all smarter than this, and I raised you better, Alex.”_

 

            Lena felt like a child being told off, and she felt guilty for disappointing Eliza. Curled up in a small ball on the sofa, Lena ate her cheeseburger while she listened to Eliza rant, thinking about what Lillian would say if she was here. Lena couldn’t imagine getting lectured twice, especially not by her mom. She’d had enough of them off her when she was younger.

 

            After ten more minutes of shouting, and the three of them apologizing profusely for their behavior, Eliza finally hung up, leaving the three of them giving each other sheepish smiles. “Well, that could’ve been worse,” Alex said after a moment.

 

            They all burst into laughter, and Lena and Alex groaned as their broken ribs protested. “I’m never going drinking with you two ever again,” Lena told them as she winced.

 

            “You started it!” Alex and Maggie protested in unison.


	46. Chapter 46

            Much to the girls’ horror, the next day was thanksgiving, which meant that Eliza was coming to National City, which meant that they would undoubtedly get another lecture when Eliza actually _saw_ the state they were in. Considering that Alex’s apartment was still a mess from her packing frenzy, the four of them were having dinner at Lena’s place. Lena had asked her chef to pick up the ingredients for their dinner, after Alex had firmly protested Lena’s suggestion that she get her chef to cook it for her. It was early when Alex and Maggie knocked on Lena’s door, and the three of them got started on preparing dinner.

 

            At eleven, Alex went to pick Eliza up from the station, leaving Lena and Maggie to finish cooking. They were just checking on the turkey when they heard the front door open and the sound of Alex and Eliza talking floated towards them. Lena and Maggie straightened up as Eliza walked into the kitchen, sighing as she looked at them.

 

            “Good god, look at you both!” Eliza tutted. “Come here.”

 

            She wrapped Maggie in a hug, and then turned her attention to Lena. Shaking her head, she pulled Lena into a tight hug too, and Lena winced as her ribs protested. “Oh, sorry honey. Broken ribs?” Eliza said pulling back. She lifted Lena’s face by the chin and tilted it side to side as she looked at the cuts and bruises covering Lena’s face. “Two days! I saw you two days ago and this is the state you got yourself into in that time! You must’ve been quite the handful when you were younger.”

 

            “Are you mad?” Lena asked, wincing as Eliza lifted her hand wrapped in a cast, muttering under her breath.

 

            “Of course I’m mad! At all three of you. I’m a mother, it’s my job to be mad at you when you do stupid things, like start acting like a pack of wild animals in the middle of a bar,” Eliza said, frowning at each of them in turn.

 

            “Oh come on, mom. You taught me to never back down from a fight!” Alex said with a laugh. “Your girls kicked ass. Well, two of us did, and the other one got her ass kicked.” Lena scowled at Alex, crossing her arms as she huffed. She’d thought she’d done quite well considering she could barely stand by that point, and the fact that her only experience with fighting was getting into fights at school.

 

            “I did _not_ tell you to never back down from a fight. I told you to always stand up for yourself, and I didn’t mean by using your fists,” Eliza said, giving her a warning look. Alex shrugged indifferently.

 

            “Right. Where do you need me?” Eliza asked, washing her hands and quickly getting stuck into helping with the food.

 

\---

 

            it was just after twelve, and the four of them were sat around the table, which was crowded with food. They had Lena’s laptop set up at one end of the table, and Kara’s face lit up the screen through the video call. They’d decided to eat dinner earlier so that Kara could talk to them and almost feel like she was there. She’d rolled her eyes when the call connected and Lena’s bruised face had come on the screen, but besides that she hadn’t brought up the fight again, and Lena was hoping she’d let it go – she felt like a broken hand was punishment enough, considering she could barely use it for the next six weeks.

 

            _“Did you get chocolate pecan pie for dessert?”_ Kara asked with longing on her face.

 

            “Yeah, we did,” Lena said as she clumsily tried to cut up her food. After watching her struggle for a moment, Eliza reached over and started cutting up Lena’s food for her.

 

            _“Ugh I’m so jealous!”_ Kara groaned. _“You know that’s my favourite.”_

 

            “You’ve only mentioned it like five billion times,” Alex laughed.

 

            _“I feel like today, I truly am grateful for it,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “You know I’d send you some if I could,” Lena said, grimacing at her.

 

            _“I’d take you over the pie any day,”_ Kara said, and Lena wrinkled her nose as she smiled back at Kara.

 

            “I sent you some cranberry cookies and chocolate pecan brownies, sweetie. I thought it might help make it feel like thanksgiving, even if it’s a little late,” Eliza told her.

 

            _“Thanks mom,”_ Kara said, beaming widely at her.

 

            They spent the rest of the meal chatting, and they could almost pretend that Kara was right there with them as she laughed along with them and told them stories about her day. It was the best thanksgiving that Lena could remember having, even if she would’ve preferred Kara to be here. For now, what Lena was most thankful for was that Kara was safe at the moment.

 

\---       

 

            The next day the photos of Lena’s bruised face as she made her way to the emergency room was all over the front page of the newspapers. Lena groaned when Jess handed the paper to her that morning, looking at Lena with wide eyes.

 

            “You’ve obviously read it so I don’t need to explain myself,” Lena said brusquely, walking towards her office.

 

            “I, um, well there wasn’t much to go on, but yes, I read the article,” Jess admitted.

 

            “Bar fight. Let’s leave it at that,” Lena told her, clearing her throat as she pushed open the door and walked in.

 

            “The lab is ready for you to test the new generator whenever you’re ready,” Jess said, changing the subject. Lena nodded, setting her bag down beside her desk and shuffling through the files on her desk. She picked up the one about the generator, and balancing her coffee, the file and her tablet, Lena turned to leave. Seeing her struggle, Jess relieved Lena of her coffee and tablet, and followed behind her as she walked out of her office and over to the elevators. They rode down to one of the sub-level labs and Lena walked into the room full of scientists and engineers.

 

            “Miss Luthor,” one of the women said, walking towards her. “Hi. Evans, from engineering. We’re, uh, having trouble with generating enough energy with the new prototype. We might have to rethink the design.”

 

            “Show me,” Lena commanded, walking over to the device. She ordered a test run and looked at the energy output levels, frowning in dissatisfaction – it was much lower than she would have liked. After a long discussion with the scientists and engineers, Lena left them to work on the corrections they’d decided on. She walked back over to the elevator, and Jess followed her, looking slightly anxious.

 

            “Um, Miss Luthor, you have six missed calls off your mom,” Jess said hesitantly.

 

            “Okay,” Lena said, walking in once the doors opened.

 

            “Did, uh, you want me to call her back for you?” Jess asked.

 

            Lena turned to her and arched one eyebrow. “Why?”

 

            Shrugging embarrassedly, Jess gave Lena an apologetic look. “She wants to know if you’re okay.”

 

            “You answered one of the calls?” Lena asked, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

 

            “Sorry ma’am, it’s just … your phone wouldn’t stop ringing. I didn’t tell her anything though,” Jess apologized.

 

            “Don’t worry about it,” Lena sighed, looking down at the cast on her hand. “Just … call her back and tell her I’m fine, please.”

 

            “Of course Miss Luthor,” Jess assured her.

 

            Lena couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty, which was why she’d told Jess to call Lillian for her. Still, she felt like this would’ve been the perfect time to call her mom, but she couldn’t find it within herself to bend her pride and talk to her right now. Lena couldn’t stop her thoughts from turning to Lillian, imagining how miserable her thanksgiving must’ve been. Perhaps if they hadn’t argued they would’ve spent it together – for the first time in years, just like they had for Lena’s birthday. And then Lena couldn’t help but think about Christmas, and her mom spending it alone too, and her eyes prickled as if she was about to start crying.

 

            Frustrated, Lena spent the rest of the afternoon snapping at staff and disagreeing with almost all of the deals presented to her in her business meetings. The only time she was genuinely happy was when Kara called during Lena’s lunch break, and started ranting about her day, which had involved a lot of shouting by the sound of her hoarse voice.

 

            When Lena got home that night, she had a letter waiting for her off Kara, and she put the meal waiting for her in the microwave as she pulled out the letter and unfolded the paper.

 

_Dear Lena,_

_I literally JUST got back and I already want to come home – and your letters didn’t help. Less than a day and I already feel as if it’s been way too long since I last saw you. Although, if I’m being honest, even a second away from you is too long. On the bright side, just think about how when I finish this leg of the tour I’ll be home forever and I can spend all of my time with you. I just had an idea! I’ll be needing a new job when I get back, and I, for one, think that a CEO needs a personal bodyguard. Especially one who has a bad habit of needing stitches. I’m just kidding – well, about the job part. You could probably do with a bodyguard; they might stop you from walking through a glass door or however you’re going to hurt yourself next. I have been thinking about a real job though, for when I get back. You were right, I love science and it would be a shame for my degree to go to waste. I was thinking that maybe I could go into research. It’s something I think I would really enjoy._

_I like my job, I really do, but I can’t help but wish that it was already over so that we could start our future together. Not that the past eleven months haven’t been perfect, except that I couldn’t be there for all of it, but just think about it. Us, together, in our own house and waking up next to each other every day. It seems almost too good to be true. I can’t help but think about lucky I am to have you, and to know that soon I’ll be lucky enough to have everything I could ever want. I’m not just talking about you, although I never thought I would ever find someone as amazing as you who could ever love me back too, but I get to have it all. How many people can say they’re that lucky?_

_There are some things I want to say, and I hope you won’t take this the wrong because I mean it in the nicest possible way. I just got off the phone with you after you’d been crying over an argument with your mom. This letter should get there sometime in the next couple of weeks so hopefully this will all have resolved itself by then and you can just ignore this hole part. But if not, trust me when I say I love you and I want what’s best for you. You have no one of your own, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. Well you have me, but that’s where this whole thing comes in. You have me, and because of me you have Alex and Maggie, and you have my mom, and you even have Winn, James and Lucy. You only have your mom for yourself. I’m happy that I could give you all these people, but you don’t have anyone else and you’ve come so far with your mom that I just really want you to work things out with her, Lena. I don’t want to come between you two, and I don’t want you to have to pick, because I know without a doubt you’d pick me (I don’t think it’s cocky to say that, is it?) and I don’t want you to pick. I don’t want to tell you what to do, just like I know you don’t tell me what to do, we just give each other advice. So this is my advice. I’d hate for the closest person you have to be your assistant, because I don’t think that counts. Although, Jess is really nice, I think she’d be a really good friend. Do with that what you will._

_Anyway, so if you’re pissed at me for that, I get it, but I hope you see that I just want what’s best for you. I always have and I always will, just like your mom wants what’s best for you (personally I think that’s me, and again, that’s not cocky is it?). So I’ll say it again; I love you. I love you a lot, I don’t think I could ever get tired of saying it, because you deserve to hear it a billion times over. And I miss you too. Please, wait for me to come home._

_Love Kara x_

            Lena sighed as she got to the end of the letter, and opened the microwave door as it beeped. Kara had reiterated what Lena had told herself and what Eliza had told her too, and Lena couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that Kara would think that she would be mad for being honest. There was also some truth in the fact that everyone Lena had was because of Kara, except for her mom and Jess. As much as Lena loved Alex and Maggie, she couldn’t help but think that maybe she should get some of her own friends.

 

            Abandoning her food, Lena picked up her phone and called Alex. “Hey, we’re going out.”

 

            _“Like out out?”_ Alex asked. _“No way. It’s literally been two days. Have you seen the state we’re in? My mom and my sister will kill us both, not to mention that my mom is still here and will probably use my handcuffs to chain me to table if I tell her we're going out drinking again. We should probably give it a few weeks.”_

            “Put Maggie on the phone,” Lena told her, waiting patiently as the phone went silent.

 

            _“Sup?”_

            “Tell your girlfriend to stop being lame. We’re going out and she doesn’t get a say in it. It’s about me not being a loser and having no friends,” lena explained.

 

            _“Well shit, now I feel sorry for you. That’s really fucking sad,”_ Maggie laughed. _“Hey babe get your leather jacket, we’re going out. Bring a knife too, we might get less hurt if we stab our way out of the next fight.”_

“Maggie what the fuck is wrong with you,” Lena said, trying not to laugh as she listened to her ordering Alex around.

 

            _“Sorry Eliza, no, that was totally a joke,”_ Maggie said, before whispering into the phone. _“It’s not a joke, bring your knife too.”_ ’

 

            “Okay so I’m not entirely sure if you’re joking or not, so I’m giving you a pat down when you get here because I don’t trust you,” Lena told her.

 

            _“Sure. Can't wait. I’ll see you soon.”_

 

            Lena rolled her eyes as the line went dead, and made another two calls before going to get ready.

 

\---

 

            Alex answered the door to Maggie’s apartment, and Lena walked inside saying hi to Eliza who was curled up on the couch. Maggie walked out into the living room grinning widely at Lena. “I’m ready for my pat down,” she proclaimed, holding her arms out to the sides.

 

            “What are you doing?” Lena asked suspiciously.

 

            “You said you were giving me a pat down,” Maggie said, shrugging while she maintained her wide grin. Lena sighed and went over, patting her shoulders and feeling something hard. Lena groaned as she carried on patting Maggie’s arms, feeling more hard bumps underneath the leather jacket.

 

            “How many are you hiding?” Lena asked, giving Maggie and exasperated look. She burst out laughing as she shrugged out of her leather jacket and stripped off her shirt, exposing dozens of knives strapped all over her.

 

            “Forty-seven all up,” Maggie said smugly, starting to unstrap them.

 

            “Forty-seven? Why do you even _own_ that many knives?” Lena sighed, shaking her head as she watched Maggie pull three knives out of each of her boots. “Was the effort of strapping all of these knives on really worth the joke?”

 

            “Obviously,” Maggie said with a laugh. Lena looked at Alex and Eliza in turn, and the three of them shared an exasperated look while Maggie continued to pull even more knives out of places Lena didn’t even think she could fit knives. “So, how many can I take? Three? Four?”

 

            “None!” Lena yelled, giving Maggie an unimpressed look.

 

            “What about just one little one?” Maggie asked, flashing her dimples at Lena, who scowled back. Maggie sighed dramatically, re-buttoning her shirt and slipping her jacket back on. “Well you’re no fun.”

 

            After a stern warning off Eliza about none of them getting into trouble, they all said goodnight to her and made their way downstairs to catch a cab to Roulette’s casino. Once inside, they made their way over to the VIP area and was waved through by the security guard.

 

            “Miss Luthor,” Jess said, standing up as Lena walked in first.

 

            “Jess,” Lena nodded to her, giving her a small smile. She’d taken on Kara’s advice about needing her mom so that she had someone, and twisted it a little, deciding to make her own friends. The other two calls she’d made were to Jess and Roulette, with the latter agreeing to a private poker night for the five girls.

 

            “Can I get your drink for you, ma’am?” Jess asked, and Maggie snorted with laughter behind Lena.

 

            “Jess, you can call me Lena. We’re outside of work, and you’re here as my … friend,” Lena said. “Now, can I buy _you_ a drink?”

 

            Lena told the nearest server to bring the four of them their drinks of choice, and whatever Roulette would be drinking. A moment later, Roulette herself walked in smiling as she arched an eyebrow at them.

 

            “I didn’t expect you back so soon, Luthor,” she said, sitting down at the poker table. "Especially after your antics the other night. How's your hand? You always did have a talent for getting yourself into fights. I'll admit though, I usually goaded you into them so I won't put all the blame on you."

 

            “You know me, I never could stay away from a bet. Even if I look like I've gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson,” Lena laughed, as the four of them sat down. “Besides, I have a new invested interest in friends.”

 

\---

 

            The five of them played poker late into the night, and Lena found herself enjoying herself as the night wore on. She was surprised to find out that she actually really liked Jess as a person, not just as an assistant, and it was nice to reminisce with Roulette about the past.

 

            By the end of the night, the three of them made it home without any fights or further incidents, and there were promises all around that they would meet up again soon. As Lena tucked herself into bed that night, all she could think about was that Kara was right, of course, and Lena was quite proud of herself for bringing her total number of friends up by two. She still couldn’t help but feel guilty about the way things were with her mom. She was still being too stubborn and hardheaded at the moment to bend her pride, but for now, that was okay. She didn’t need her mom.


	47. Chapter 47

            Kara had been gone a month.

 

            It was strange to Lena that it had already been a month, because it had flown by so quickly, yet every second of it had dragged when she thought about the last time she had held Kara in her arms. The fact that they were roughly a quarter of the way through this was a small consolation prize for the daily struggle of wanting to be next to each other, to be able to kiss each other good morning and good night and hold hands while they took Athena for walks. All the small things that others took for granted. Sometimes Lena would catch herself watching Alex and Maggie, and she couldn’t help but feel a little bit envious that they got to spend every day with each other, but it also made her happy to think that that would soon be her future.

 

            Over the past couple of weeks, Lena had discovered more of a social life, and at Kara’s encouragement she found herself spending more time with Jess, outside of work, and with Roulette as well. They’d decided on a weekly poker night, with Alex and Maggie of course, which instead had turned into the five girls sitting in Lena’s apartment playing all sorts of games while they drank and wound each other up with their teasing. Lena was truly happy to think that she finally had friends. It hadn’t been hard at all, and with some surprise, Lena realized that it wasn’t that no one had wanted to be friends with her, it was that she had never wanted to let anyone get close. When she told Kara this realization she had laughed, saying she had already known that, but was happy that Lena had changed her mind. She didn’t say it, but Lena knew she would still be wallowing in her misery if she hadn’t met Kara. She’d kick started something into action that had triggered a series of events in Lena’s life that had completely turned her world upside down – all of it for the better.

 

            It was the day of L-Corp’s Christmas party, and Lena had invited Alex and Maggie to come along too, considering that she didn’t have any family to bring along. She had a sneaking suspicion that her mom would turn up anyway, after all, it _was_ the Christmas party for the family company, even if Lillian didn’t have much involvement anymore. Lena had also invited Eliza, but she was already working at the hospital and Lena knew better than to try and tear a doctor away from their patient’s. She knew Eliza would’ve found a way out of it if it had been important to Lena for her to be there, but Lena wasn’t really looking forward to it anyway. Every year she just stood in the corner with Jess while she watched a couple of hundred employees she didn’t know get drunk off the free alcohol.

 

            She’d had her hair and makeup done professionally, and was waiting around in her apartment for Kara to call when Alex showed up at her apartment. Lena gave her a puzzled look as she opened the door and let her inside.

 

            “What’re you doing here?” Lena asked, setting a pot of coffee on.

 

            “I had specific instructions, which I can guarantee you’re going to hate,” Alex said, presenting Lena with a parcel. Frowning in confusion, Lena took the wrapped gift and read the tag attached to it. It was off Kara, and Lena could feel the softness of the gift and was curious as to what it was. Quickly, she tore open the paper, exposing the red knitted wool of a sweater. She pulled it out and held it up in front of her, her eyes widening as she looked at the sweater.

 

            “So, Kara knitted it for you,” Alex explained. “She thought it would be nice for you to wear something Christmassy to your Christmas party. I don’t know in what world she would think you’d wear a sweater to a billion-dollar company’s business party but she left me with instructions to give it to you.”

 

            Lena looked up at Alex and gave her a horrified look, before looking back down at the sweater. It was bright red, and there were snowflakes, reindeer and snowmen patterns knit all over it. “She knitted this?” Lena asked. “I didn’t even know she knit!”

 

            “She’s actually pretty good at it. She makes all my scarfs and beanies; you’ll probably get one for Christmas too.”

 

            “Who is she, Mrs Weasley? Fucking hell, Alex, I can’t wear this! Is she serious?” Lena said, giving Alex a pained look. Alex bit her lip to stop herself from laughing as she nodded and Lena let out a groan.

 

            “It’s going to crush her if I don’t wear it, isn’t it?” Lena asked, sighing as she looked at the sweater. Lena already had picked out a dress, one that cost most than most people earned in a month, and was suitable for such an event. But how could she deny Kara this? Especially when she’d spent months knitting it. Lena smiled, shaking her head as she pictured Kara sat there in the middle of the desert with balls of wool surrounding her, furiously knitting away in her breaks.

 

            “She’s been making me send her wool the entire time she’s been gone, so … yeah it kind of will,” Alex said, shrugging helplessly.

 

            “Did she make you one to wear too?” Lena asked.

 

            “Fuck no. I wouldn’t be caught dead in it,” Alex laughed, and Lena groaned even more. She was going to look ridiculous!

 

            “I can’t believe she’s making me do this,” Lena sighed.

 

            “She’s not _making_ you. It was a suggestion that you can completely say no to,” Alex said, grinning at Lena because she knew there was no way Lena would refuse to wear it, even if she would die of embarrassment in front of the entire office.

 

            “No no no, you don’t get to make me look like a bad girlfriend,” Lena scowled at her. “I guess I’m wearing the fucking sweater.”

 

            “You’re such a pushover,” Alex laughed.

 

            She stayed for the coffee and then left, grinning at Lena as she said she had to go and pick up her dress from the drycleaner’s. After she shut the door, Lena walked back into the kitchen, sighing as she eyed the sweater, and went in search of a black skirt to go with it. She was halfway through ironing when her phone started ringing, and Lena quickly ran over to where she’d left it, smiling as she saw Kara’s name.

 

 _“Oh wow, you look beautiful. You always do, of course, but you’re just so breathtaking. I can’t believe how lucky I am,”_ Kara rambled, smiling widely at Lena.

 

            Lena laughed quietly. “Thank you. I wish you were coming.”

 

 _“I wish I was too,”_ Kara sighed, grimacing slightly. _“Oh right! Did Alex give you the present?”_

 

            “Um, yeah. Yes, she did,” Lena said, glancing over at the sweater.

 

 _“Do you like it? You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to. I just thought something to get into the Christmas spirit would be nice. I know you were probably going to wear a dress, and it’s fine if you already have one, you don’t have to wear the sweater, but I thought I’d make you one just in case,”_ Kara babbled.

 

            “I love it,” Lena said, giving Kara an enthusiastic smile. “Of course I’m going to wear it tonight. I even have the red lipstick to match, see?”

 

 _“Really? You’ll wear it?”_ Kara said, her face lighting up.

 

            “Of course!” Lena promised, smiling at how happy Kara was. “I’ll send you some pictures.”

 

 _“Perfect,”_ Kara said, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she beamed at Lena.

 

            They talked until it was time for Kara to go to bed, and then Lena finished getting ready. Slipping the sweater on over her skirt and tights, Lena looked at her self in the full length mirror.

 

            “Fuck.”

 

\---

 

            Pulling up outside Maggie’s apartment, Lena called her and waited in the car for her and Alex to come down. They both slid into the back of the car and burst out laughing at the sight of Lena in her bright red sweater peeking out from beneath her coat. She flipped them both off, and crossed her arms over her chest as she shot them a dark look. They were both wearing dresses and looking smug about it as they made fun of Lena.

 

            As the car stopped outside L-Corp the three of them got out and made their way inside. Once inside, the three of them handed their coats over, and Alex and Maggie pressed their lips together to stop themselves from laughing.

 

            “Oh will you two shut up,” Lena snapped, self-consciously tugging at the bottom of the sweater. A few of the staff members that had just arrived were giving Lena looks of surprise, and she blushed furiously as she ducked her head. Making her way into the main party area, the three of them claimed glasses of champagne that the servers were walking around with. Spotting Jess, Lena made a beeline for her.

 

            “Jess!” Lena said. “Is everything going to plan?”

 

            “Oh, Miss Luthor … your dress,” Jess said, staring at Lena with wide eyes.

 

            “Honestly, Jess, if we’re going to be friends outside of work, you may as well just call me Lena all the time. And don’t mention the dress,” Lena warned her.

 

            “Noted,” Jess said, the corner of her lips turning up slightly. “And yes, everything’s running smoothly so far.”

 

            “Great. That’s good,” Lena said, draining her glass and handing it off for the nearest server. “Have you seen my mom around yet?”

 

            “No. I’ve asked the doormen and security to give me a heads up when she arrives, so I’ll let you know,” Jess told her.

 

            “You’re the best,” Lena told her. Alex and Maggie came over and captured Jess in a conversation, and Lena half paid attention to it as she eyes the door nervously. She wasn’t sure if her mom would come because of their last fight, but she was half hoping she would. Lena sighed to herself, feeling her frustration growing because her hand was itchy and she couldn’t reach it with her cast on, and her mom might show up and she didn’t know if she wanted her to or not.

 

            Because of Alex and Maggie, Lena was forced to socialize with her staff members, instead of standing off to the side and trying to remain inconspicuous. Lena always felt out of place at her business parties – having the owner of the company who didn’t know any of the staff try and socialize with said staff was not exactly one of Lena’s favourite things to do. She was talking to one of the interns when Jess appeared at Lena’s elbow.

 

            “Your mom’s here,” she said in a low voice, and Lena turned to look in the direction Jess nodded. Lena cursed softly, ducking behind Jess and trying to hide. Alex and Maggie were close by and walked over.

 

            “You good?” Alex asked, giving Lena’s shoulder a quick squeeze.

 

            “Has she seen me?” Lena asked. “Fuck. Why couldn’t Kara have picked a less conspicuous colour. I look like fucking Santa.”

 

            “I mean, she for sure has seen you, but she’s not coming over,” Maggie said, peeking past Alex.

 

            “We’ll go and say hi. Keep her off your trail for a while,” Alex said, taking Maggie by the hand and dragging her towards Lillian. Lena called a grateful thank you after them before turning back to Jess.

 

            “Let’s go this way,” Lena said, nodding in the opposite direction. “That woman, she works in statistics right? Let’s talk to her.”

 

\---

 

            Lena and Maggie were trying the various canapés when Alex walked over, with Jess in tow, and picked up one of the spinach puffs, popping it in her mouth before speaking. “Sorry, I tried my best. She wants to talk to you,” Alex said, shrugging apologetically, “but she also doesn’t want to come over here. Something about promising to stay away if you wanted her to.”

 

            Lena sighed, eyeing one of the mushroom tarts regretfully. It was about time Lena sorted things out with her mom, or at least tried to. “Okay, fine. Where is she?”

 

            Alex pointed over her shoulder, and Lena saw her mom talking to one of the other board members. Downing her drink and placing the empty glass down, Lena looked at the three of them and gave them a grim smile. “Wish me luck.”

 

            She took a deep breath and threw her shoulders back before weaving through the crowd. She paused a few times to talk to some employees, getting a lot of compliments on her sweater, which made Lena blush, as well as to take some photographs as the professional photographer walked around. After the latest round of photos, Lena thanked the staff and carried on walking in Lillian's direction. Hesitantly, Lena approached her mom, who glanced at her and did a double take. Her eyebrows shot up and eyes widened as she took in the full effect of Lena’s sweater. Excusing herself from the conversation with the other board member, Lillian turned to face her daughter.

 

            “Hi mom,” Lena said, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked down at the floor.

 

            “Lena. I, uh, didn’t expect you to come over here,” Lillian said, looking at her daughter in surprise.

 

            “Yeah, um, neither did I,” Lena shrugged, glancing up at Lillian. Her shoulders dropped as she sighed heavily. “Can we just … go somewhere quiet and talk for a moment?”

 

            “Yes. Please,” Lillian said, sounding relieved. Lena snagged another glass of champagne off a tray as she made her way through the crowd. Walking through the almost completely empty foyer, she walked through to one of the lounge areas for waiting clients and sat down on one of the sofas. Lillian sat down on the one at a right angle to Lena’s, and Lena was surprised to see she was nervously fiddling with the purse she carried.

 

            “So,” Lillian started, looking at Lena with concern. “How are you?”

 

            “Fine,” Lena replied stiffly.

 

            “Are you? Your hand …” Lillian pointed out, and Lena curled her fingers, as she subconsciously tried to clench her hand into a fist, wincing slightly at the dull ache that shot through her hand.

 

            “It’s fine, _I’m_ fine,” Lena assured her. Her face had healed over the past few weeks so she looked a lot better, and less like a member of fight club. “Um, how have you been?”

 

            Lillian let out a humorless laugh. “As well as expected.”

 

            “Right,” Lena muttered. “I, uh, I was going to call … at some point. I just-, I didn’t know what to say.”

 

            “We’re both too proud and stubborn,” Lillian said, smiling slightly.

 

            “Yeah. Well, um, I’m sorry,” Lena said, meeting Lillian’s gaze. “I was childish, and you didn’t say anything wrong, and I overreacted. I was mad and upset and I … I wanted you to be happy for me.” She let out a soft sigh, and all of the tension and anger and hurt she’d been holding inside started fading away as she vented.

 

            “No, _I_ was wrong,” Lillian said, and Lena blinked in surprise. They weren’t words she had heard often coming from her mom. “It wasn’t my place to say those things to you, and I … well, I was unnecessarily cruel. I _am_ happy for you, Lena. Really, I am. But I’m also scared for you and, well, you know that I’m not really good at, well, expressing my concerns nicely.”

 

            “You were right though,” Lena said, grimacing as she said the words. “And I-I’m sorry that I threw dad in your face and said you were ruining my happiness.”

 

            “Oh honey, I wasn’t right. I said those things because I was hurt, just like you said those things because you were hurt,” Lillian sighed. “We both messed up.”

 

            “Well, when have we never not when it comes to each other?” Lena laughed weakly.

 

            “You’re all I have, Lena. I love you; you’re my little girl. Please let me make it up to you,” Lillian said, reaching for Lena’s good hand. Lena hesitated for a moment before she put her hand in her mom’s.

 

            “Mom, I don’t know how to be a family with you. I’m scared that we’re too messed up to be able to fix it. We hurt each other all the time, we don’t know any different,” Lena said quietly, frowning down at their intertwined hands.

 

            Lillian looked at Lena with sadness and longing. “Please don’t say that. We were doing so well; you know we were. I don’t want us to let go of all of that because we both hurt each other.”

 

            “I just-, I don’t kno-,” Lena started, but was cut off by Lillian.

 

            “Wait. Just give me one second before you say anything else,” Lillian said, opening up the purse that was resting in her lap. She pulled out a little velvet box and handed it over to Lena. “This was your grandmother’s ring. I-I was saving it for Lex to propose when he found the right person, but well … you know. I, um, I found it after our fight - when I’d had time to think things through. I want you to give it to Kara; I thought she could have an engagement ring too.”

 

            Lena opened the box, staring down at the diamond ring nestled in the centre. She looked up at Lillian in shock. “Oh,” Lena said softly.

 

            “I want you to be happy, honey. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. If you’re sure you want to marry Kara then I don’t want to miss the wedding because we had a stupid fight,” Lillian told her, and Lena nodded as she looked down at the ring, not trusting herself to speak.

 

            “Lena?” Lillian said, tilting her head to the side as she looked at her daughter. Lena looked up at her and gave her a small smile, and Lillian reached out to cup her face. They both sat there for a few moments in silence.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena said, shutting the jewelry box. “For the ring. It’s beautiful.”

 

            Lillian nodded, hesitating for a moment before she spoke. “Do, uh, are you, um, still seeing a therapist?”

 

            “What? No. I haven’t seen a shrink since I was in college,” Lena said, frowning slightly.

 

            “I want you to,” Lillian said, and Lena opened her mouth to protest. “Just listen a moment. We obviously have a lot of things to work on, and well, I think that we should both go to counselling. Together.”

 

            “You want _me_ to go to counselling with _you_?” Lena asked incredulously. “Mom, come on, you can’t be serious.”

 

            Lillian sighed. “Lena, you _know_ that it’s helpful. We’re both stubborn, we can’t talk about the difficult things without getting into an argument, just think about it, we could work through everything in, well, a civil manner. I think it’s worth trying.”

 

            “I don’t know, mom. It just doesn’t seem necessary,” Lena shrugged.

 

            “Please, Lena. I don’t want us to argue anymore. If there’s a chance therapy can help us, I think we should take it,” Lillian said.

 

            “One chance. I’ll give it one session, and if I don’t like it then I’m not going back,” Lena said, and Lillian smiled triumphantly.

 

            “Really?” Lillian asked, smiling hopefully at Lena.

 

            “Yeah. I just-, Kara said something the other week that I’ve been thinking about. How you’re the only family I have. I don’t want to give that up. I never meant to, I just needed some time to cool off. So, if you think counselling with help, then I guess I’ll try it. For both of us.”

 

            “Thank you. That means more than you’ll ever know,” Lillian said. “Now, can I see your ring?” Lena smiled and obliging held her hand out, presenting the engagement ring for Lillian to see. She asked Lena a few questions about the proposal and her thoughts on the wedding so far, and for a few moments they were like a normal mother and daughter. Before long they decided to rejoin the party, and as they stood up, Lillian asked one more question.

 

            “May I ask about the sweater?” she asked, looking at Lena with amusement. Lena looked down, laughing as she pulled at the front of the sweater.

 

            “Kara.”


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's for you kartiki - I'm glad you're enjoying Lena and Maggie's brotp.

            The next morning, Lena was sat behind the desk in her study, staring down at the blank piece of paper in front of her. She was trying to think about what to write back to Kara – the things she wouldn’t tell her later.

 

_To Kara,_

_I wish you were here last night; it was a really weird night. But I did it! I’ve spent the past few weeks thinking about what you said, and so I swallowed my pride and I apologized to my mom, and then she apologized to me and I think we both honestly regretted our fight. We’re both trying to move past this, which is what I’m hoping for, but she wants us to go to therapy. I’ll probably tell you this when you phone later, but I can’t help but laugh about how contradictive I feel right now because I told you that you should seek help when you come home, and here I am, feeling skeptical about going to therapy with my mom. I guess it just reminds me of the years I went, and I thought I was past all of it, but I guess there’s still things I need to work on. I’m trying to do this for everyone though, not just for myself. It’s not going to work if I don’t try._

_I’ve also been thinking a lot about relationships with other people. You told me I needed people – people that were mine, not ones that came from our relationship – and you were right. I’ve told you I’m trying to make friends, and it’s going well, I think. But that’s not what I’ve been thinking about. I’ve been thinking about how different things would be if I’d decided to stay in my office that day, or if you’d come in for a coffee half an hour earlier and been able to find an empty table. We never would have met. I like to think that we would have met either way, because I don’t want to imagine a world where we didn’t. All I can think of is if I’d missed that smile you gave me; I would have missed the rest of my life._

_You know, sometimes I forget how much I’ve changed since I met you. They say you can’t change someone by loving them, but that’s not true. I guess what they mean to say is that you can’t force someone to change if they don’t want to, but you can definitely change someone with love. I’m grateful for it. I don’t really know what kind of person I was before, but I know I prefer the one I am now. You make me a better person, and that’s a fact. I was so alone for the longest time that for a while I used to think I was undeserving of love. I got good at being alone, and I would tell myself it was because I would never find love because I wasn’t built for it. That wasn’t true though, because the moment I met you, your smile changed everything, and the moment your hand first slipped into mine, it was like my hands were built to only hold your hands, and the first time we kissed it was like my lips were only made to kiss only yours. Anyway, I keep thinking about all these things and I realize that I was wrong – although I hate to admit it. It’s not that I was ever undeserving of love, it was the exact opposite; I just had to find the people who wanted to love me. I truly feel like I found those people with you, and my mom and your family. I think you can understand that more than anyone, how much it means to have someone want you when you have no one left._

_This letter got depressing really quickly, sorry! I’m not sure if you can read it anyway. I had to write it with my left hand because of this ridiculous cast, and I’m not as good. Anyway, the whole point is I underestimated you and your fortune cookies of love, and since that moment, I have learnt to never under estimate anything ever again. Which is probably why, with everything going on in my life at the moment, I’ve been thinking about the past a lot. I guess I under estimated a lot of things that have happened – well, how much these things have affected me. I think most of all, I under estimated my mom. I know she never meant to hurt me – it doesn’t change the fact that she did, but I under estimated how much she loved me because I made it so hard for her to show it. Thank you for pushing me to try and fix things with her. We haven’t really solved anything, and we’ve taken a few steps backwards, but I feel like I’ve changed enough to want to work through this, which is something I’ve never wanted to do. Even over the past few months, I have a sneaking suspicion that I was just waiting for the chance to self-sabotage this whole thing, because if I’m being honest, I’m still scared about having a normal relationship with her. You’d think it’d be easy, after all, I get along great with your mom, but I guess what frightens me the most is that this is my mom. Before I make any solid conclusions though, I guess I’ll have to see how therapy goes. I’m sure it’ll be interesting. I just wish you were here to talk to about all of this. Being able to see your face on a screen and hear your voice is the best part of my day, but it’s just not the same. I miss you more every day._

_I love you._

_Lena x_

            She sealed the letter in an envelope and clumsily wrote Kara’s name on the front, smiling as she sealed it. There was something cathartic about writing all of her feelings down, and Lena considered buying a journal. If she could vent all of her frustration she might not be so irritable all the time – perhaps it would be a good idea for therapy with her mom.

 

            After a quick shower, Lena changed into some gym clothes and ate a quick breakfast while she waited for Alex and Maggie to show up. She’d spoken to them about self defense classes, and they had both enthusiastically agreed – Maggie had been a little bit too enthusiastic for Lena’s liking. Luckily for her, her wrist was still broken, so Maggie wouldn’t be too rough on her, she hoped.

 

            It was ten o’clock when she heard the front door open, and Alex and Maggie’s voices floated down the hallway towards her. Kara had ended up giving Alex her new key to look after until she came back, and so they had a habit of letting themselves in if Lena didn’t answer the door within two seconds of Maggie’s impatient knocking.

 

            “Could we not have done this later?” Maggie grumbled as she came into view. She was looking slightly disheveled and little bit hungover, and Lena grinned, hoping that would give her an advantage over her.

 

            “Did someone drink too much last night?” Lena asked, raising one eyebrow as she smirked at Maggie.

 

            “Pft, please, Luthor. I’m not a child, I can handle my alcohol,” Maggie scoffed. “It’s just way too early to be productive when I could still be in bed right now.”

 

            “Well suck it up. Just think about how many chances you’ll have to drop me on my ass today,” Lena told her. “Besides, we’ll be busy moving the rest of the boxes all afternoon, unless you’d prefer your girlfriend to _not_ move in?”

 

            “Uh you better watch what you say,” Alex warned Maggie, smiling widely at her. They’d been slowly packing up everything in Alex’s apartment, and so far all of her important things were in Maggie’s place, but today the three of them were hoping to get everything there. Lena had commandeered one of L-Corp’s trucks so that they only had to make one trip with all the boxes. All of Kara’s stuff was still at Alex’s apartment, where it would stay until she came home and her and Lena packed up the rest of it and brought it to Lena’s apartment. For now, Lena was just concentrated on getting one sister moved out.

 

            “Did you eat breakfast? Or do you want some coffee before you kick my ass?” Lena asked. When both of them declined, Lena led them down the hallway towards her home gym. She wasn’t much of a gym junkie, but she did practice yoga and meditation in her spare time, which wasn’t very often. Still, the gym was well equipped with all sorts of machines.

 

            Walking into the middle of the room, Lena turned to face Alex and Maggie. “So where should we-” She was yanked forward and found herself ending up on her back, scowling up and Maggie who was stood over her laughing.

 

            “What the fuck, Maggie. I wasn’t ready,” Lena said, pushing herself upright.

 

            “Oh well excuse me, I thought I was training you for self defense, not for a round in a fucking boxing ring. There's no rules, there's no giving you a moment to get your bearings. You’re not supposed to be ready for a fight,” Maggie told her, rolling her eyes. Grumbling to herself, Lena climbed to her feet and faced the two of them.

 

            “Okay, try and hit me,” Maggie said, smirking at Lena. With a sigh, Lena swung at her, and Maggie easily dodged it as she laughed. Lena took another swing at her, and Maggie dodged it too. After a few more attempts, Lena sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

 

            “That’s it? You’re giving up?” Maggie asked, raising her eyebrows.

 

            “You’re not even teaching me anything!” Lena argued, throwing her hands up in frustration. “You’re supposed to be teaching me how to throw a punch and not get hit, not making me pointlessly tire myself out.”

 

            “Fine, but you need to learn how people move. They’re not going to stand there and take it. Maybe we should start with you dodging my punches,” Maggie suggested.

 

            “Uh, no. If anyone’s throwing punches at me it’s Alex. At least I know she’ll pull back if she almost hits me. I don’t feel like getting another black eye so soon,” Lena said, narrowing her eyes at Maggie. She knew she wouldn’t really hurt Lena, but she would get a kick out of putting her on her ass a few times.

 

            “Oh come on,” Maggie huffed. “I’m not going to hurt you – well, not badly.”

 

            “Fine,” Lena relented, rolling her eyes as she raised her left hand in front of her, keeping the right one angled out to the side so she wouldn’t accidentally re-break her wrist before it even healed. Before she even had a chance to blink, Maggie’s fist was heading straight towards her face. Ducking to the side, Lena turned quickly, anticipating the next blow. Alex called out suggestions to Lena while Maggie made slow, over-exaggerated punches, occasionally putting Lena on the floor just to prove her point.

 

            After Maggie let Lena out of the latest headlock, her frustration flared up and she frowned as she faced Maggie, who was grinning widely at her. This time, when she launched herself at Lena, Maggie was stopped by Lena’s hand on her forehead. Struggling, Maggie frowned at Lena, who was grinning smugly. Maggie took a swing at her, but her arms were too short to reach Lena, who burst out laughing, along with Alex.

 

            “Okay, ha ha that’s _so_ funny, pick on the short person,” Maggie grumbled, taking a step backwards. Lena and Alex were still laughing, and Maggie huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest, frowning at the two of them. “Are you two assholes finished?”

 

            “Sorry, babe, that was pretty funny – and you had it coming for taunting her so much,” Alex said, biting her lip to try and stop herself from laughing. Grumbling, Maggie rolled her eyes before she faced Lena again.

 

            “Okay, well that was better that time anyway. You need to move your feet faster and keep your elbows in close. You keeping swinging widely, but you want to jab. Get in fast and then back away from their reach,” Maggie explained, and Lena nodded. "At least if you can't get in a good punch you can stop them from hitting you back."

 

            They spent the next hour and a bit practicing proper punching techniques, and Alex took over for a while to show Lena some blocks and some other techniques she’d learnt in her FBI training. Only the basic things though, because Lena wasn’t capable of a judo throw yet. By the end of their training session, Lena was sore and she knew that tomorrow she’d wake up with bruises everywhere. After a quick shower, she changed into one of Kara’s plaid shirts and a pair of jeans, settling on something casual that she could do the dirty work in. Together, the three of them to Alex’s apartment, where the L-Corp truck was waiting, and they got to work loading up the truck with boxes.

 

\---

 

Lena was struggling with carrying a particularly heavy box down the hallway when her phone started ringing. Putting the box down, she pulled her phone out and smiled at Kara’s name on the screen.

 

            “Hey,” Lena said, smiling lovingly as Kara’s face lit up the screen. “How was your day?”

 

            _“Hi! It was good! Now, how was last night? Tell me everything,”_ Kara ordered her, smiling excitedly.

 

            “Well hold on a second, tell me about your day first,” Lena said, sitting down on the floor of the hallway.

 

            _“Where are you?”_ Kara asked, noticing the unfamiliar wall behind Lena.

 

            “I’m helping your sister move in with Maggie today, remember?” Lena said.

 

            _“Oh, right!”_ Kara nodded. _“Well, um, we can talk abut my day after. I want to know how that party went. Did everyone like your sweater? Did your mom end up going?”_

“Okay, fine,” Lena relented, sighing as she smiled. “The party was good. Bearable actually, because your sister and Maggie forced me to socialize. I actually feel bad that I’ve never really talked to the majority of my staff before. Um, yeah everyone was blown away by the sweater, it was really something. I definitely stood out. Well, um, yeah my mom came. We avoided each other for a bit, but uh, we talked. Cleared the air a little bit.”

 

            _“Well that’s good!”_ Kara said excitedly.

 

            “I mean, it’s something. We both apologized and decided to move on from it. She, uh, well she wants us to go to therapy together. She thinks it’ll help, but we’ll see I guess.”

 

            _“I’m impressed. I thought you’d both be too stubborn to actually apologize. I’m proud of you,”_ Kara said, smiling widely at Lena.

 

            “She, uh, gave me something … for you. My grandmother’s ring. She thought you might like an engagement ring,” Lena said hesitantly.

 

            _“Really? Your mom said that? But I thought … never mind. That’s amazing!”_ Kara said, her face lightly up with joy.

 

            “I’ll mail it to you tomorrow probably, with the newest care package. I was a bit surprised too. She said she wants me to be happy, and she doesn’t want to miss our wedding because of a stupid disagreement. So I guess things are … well it’ll all work out, which is what’s important,” Lena said with a small smile.

 

            _“I’m so happy for you!”_ Kara said, but her smile did reach her eyes, and that’s how Lena knew something was wrong.

 

            “What is it?” she asked, panicking slightly.

 

            _“What? Nothing. I am happy for you,”_ Kara said, laughing nervously.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I know you are. But there’s something wrong. I can see it in your eyes.”

 

            _“Um, well, you asked about my day. It was okay but, well, things are getting a bit tense over here. It’s-, there was a bit of … a bit of a skirmish earlier today. It wasn’t my patrol, and no one was killed, but … there are more and more attacks happening. I-”_ Kara cut off, looking guilty and upset.

 

            “You’re okay though, right?” Lena asked. “You’re still in one of the safer parts?”

 

            _“I-, yeah, yeah we’re as safe as we can be,”_ Kara murmured. _“Um, that’s not it though. There’s … talk. Talk about re-enlisting again … in my squadron. W-we’re a team, they want us to stay together.”_

“So they’re not exactly please you decided not to enlist again, huh?” Lena asked, smiling wryly at Kara.

 

            Kara didn’t smile back. _“Well, you see, the things is … um, well, I haven’t officially said I’m not enrolling again … I, uh, don’t really have to decide until I get back. It’s just … I-I know I said I wasn’t going to but-”_

            “No,” Lena said. “No, no way. You’re not doing this.”

 

            _“It’s bad, Lena. They need me,”_ Kara said, her voice almost sounding like she was pleading.

 

            “You promised!” Lena shouted, her voice cracking as she spoke. “You promised me this was the end, Kara. You said you weren’t going back. Y-you said-“ And then her eyes were filling with tears as her anger flared up.

 

            _“I’m sorry. Just … let me explain, please,”_ Kara begged. Lena opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to find something to say. She was about to start crying, and she her anger at Kara was growing, and when words failed her, Lena hung up without another word. She sat in the hallway for a moment, taking deep breaths to steady herself, before picking up the box and carrying it to the end of the hallway. Walking into Maggie’s apartment, Lena set the box marked ‘books’ down in the living room, keeping her head down.

 

            “Come on, Luthor. Surely you’re not _that_ weak. It took you like ten minutes to bring up one box!” Maggie laughed as she arranged the books from another box on the shelves in her living room. Lena didn’t reply, she just fussed with box, picking at one of the upturned corners.

 

            “Hey, you good?” Maggie asked when she realized that Lena wasn’t joining in on the joke. She knew Lena had a good sense of humour – she took any jibe Maggie threw her way, so when she didn’t have a witty comeback Maggie knew something was off.

 

            “Fine,” Lena said sharply. Maggie turned away from the shelves and grabbed Lena by the shoulder, turning her around before she could brush Maggie off. She shot Maggie and annoyed look as she looked at her, knowing that her eyes were red from the tears she was trying to hold back. “What happened? You were fine five minutes ago.”

 

            At that moment, Alex walked in through the open door, smiling widely as she carried a box. “This is that last one.” Her face fell as she took in Lena’s expression, and she quickly put the box down. “Hey, what’s going on? What happened?”

 

            “Nothing. I just-, you should talk to your sister,” Lena snapped. She closed her eyes and sighed, before opening them and giving Alex a grimace. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.”

 

            “What did she do?” Alex asked, looking slightly anxious.

 

            “I-,” Lena hesitated. She didn’t want to start causing trouble when she hadn’t even given Kara a chance to explain. “Nothing yet. I-I need to call her. Excuse me a moment.”

 

            She locked herself in the bathroom, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub, and pulled her phone out. It had barely been five minutes since she’d hung up on Kara, but she felt awful when Kara’s blotchy face came up on the screen.

 

            _“I didn’t think you were going to call back,”_ Kara said, her voice cracking as she spoke. Lena burst into tears, the second she heard her voice.

 

            “I’m sorry. I didn’t-, I shouldn’t have hung up on you like that. I didn’t want to leave things that way,” Lena apologized, wiping her eyes. Kara made gentle soothing sounds as she waited for Lena to calm down.

 

            _“Hey, it’s okay. It’s fine. You have every right to be mad, and I-I’m sorry. But I don’t know what else to do, Lena, I‘m sorry I just-, I don’t know who I am if I’m not in the army. I went from school, to college, to the army. I’ve always had people telling where I need to be, and what I need to do, I-I don’t know any different. And they need people here – it’s getting bad,”_ Kara said softly, her eyes shining with tears that didn’t fall.

 

            “You can be here, with me. I can give you time to figure things out, I-I can help you. We don’t have to rush into anything. W-we can wait to move in together, so that you can have space to figure things out. We can put everything on hold – I just want you back. I know I said I’d be okay with whatever decision you made, but ... I’m scared my mom will be right. The longer you stay over there, the more scared I get. These next few months are going to be bad enough, I can’t bear the thought of another two years of this. I j-just want you to be safe,” Lena said, sniffling quietly.

 

            _“What? No! I don’t need time or space, I need you. I know I’ll work things out when I get home – we’ll do it together. I just-, it’s hard to imagine leaving this behind. When I’m home it seems so easy to just turn my back on everything here, to promise to come home soon, but then … I get back here, and it’s bad, and I can’t-, I forget what it’s like to wake up next to you. It all seems so far away and I can’t help but think that I should stay here, and I’m sorry for that.”_

“I know it’s hard for you, but you don’t _have_ to go back, Kara. This is your life; you can do whatever you want. Of course I’m going to be upset if you go back, but if you want to, then do it. I told you, I’ll support whatever decision you make. I don’t have to like it, but I’ll support it. It just hurts to think that every time we take a step forward, something seems to pull us backwards. I’m tired, I just want you to be safe. I want you to come home,” Lena cried.

 

            _“I will come home,”_ Kara promised.

 

            They talked for a while longer; not about Kara staying, about other things. Neither of them wanted to argue about it, so they let the topic rest, and Lena knew Kara would tell her her decision when she made up her mind. When it was time for Kara to go, they both said I love you, but Lena’s heart was heavy as she waited for Kara to hang up – she didn’t want to be the one to end the call this time. She splashed some water on her face before she unlocked the bathroom door and walked back to the living room.

 

            Alex and Maggie raised their eyebrows slightly, looking at her with concern. “You two good?” Maggie asked, picking up a framed photo of her and Alex and putting it on one of the shelves.

 

            “I don’t know,” Lena admitted, clearing her throat slightly. “Um, can we just unpack, please? I’d prefer not to talk about it right now.”

 

            “Yeah, no, of course. Um, do you want to do my clothes? You’re super organized so I know you’ll do it neater than us two,” Alex said, giving her a small smile. Lena nodded and headed towards the bedroom, where she found a dozen boxes waiting for her.

 

            She spent the rest of the afternoon hanging up clothes, and after she finished that, she helped Alex and Maggie organize the rest of Alex’s personal things. Once everything was in order, they ordered Chinese food and drank cheap beer as they watched the second Lord of the Rings film. Lena knew that Alex and Maggie weren’t overly fussed by the films, but they also knew they were Lena’s favourite – especially the second one – and she appreciated their effort to cheer her up.

 

\---

 

            Lena didn’t stay late, and left not long after the movie ended, giving the newly moved in couple some alone time. She walked into her office, ready to settle in for a long night of work, when she saw the little velvet jewelry box and her letter waiting on the desk. Sighing, Lena picked up the box, flipping it open to look at the cut diamond attached to the silver band. Awkwardly holding the box in her bad hand, Lena picked up the photo frame with the picture of Kara, smiling sadly down at it. She just wanted Kara to come home.

 

            Sighing, Lena picked up her laptop, deciding to do her work in her bedroom. Just this once, she let Athena lay on the bed with her, taking comfort in the dog’s company as she sorted through piles of paper. Lena was sipping her coffee and looking at one of the latest reports on the generator when her phone started ringing. It was her mom. Debating whether or not to answer it, Lena did anyway with a small sigh.

 

            “I’m really not in the mood to talk, mom,” Lena said, cutting to the chase.

 

 _“Oh, well I won’t keep you long. Is everything okay though?”_ Lillian asked, sounding concerned.

 

            “Nothing’s wrong, but no, it’s not entirely okay,” Lena curtly replied.

 

 _“And you don’t want to talk about it?”_ Lillian asked.

 

            “No,” Lena said firmly.

 

 _“Okay, um, well, I booked us in to see a therapist,”_ Lillian told her. _“Two days from now. Before I head back to Metropolis. I, um, thought it would be best if the therapist was here in National City so you’d be more inclined to actually show up.”_

 

            “So you’re just going to fly here once a week? Doesn’t that seem like a waste of time to you? Surely you’re busy,” Lena said.

 

 _“It’s not a waste of time to me. If we can work things out, then it’ll be well worth it to me. Besides, I’ll be able to see you more often, which might help too. We could have dinner once a week before I head back home,”_ Lillian told her.

 

            “Okay,” Lena agreed immediately, to both of their surprise. “Yeah, that sounds nice actually. Just message me the time and address for the therapist and I’ll see you in two days.” She spoke to her mom for a few minutes more before they both hung up, leaving Lena alone with her thoughts. While she couldn’t deny the usefulness of therapy, she wasn’t exactly excited about the prospect of counselling with her mom.

 

            Sighing, Lena gave up on her work, and quickly put everything aside. Instead, she grabbed the photo album and spent her time slowly going through each polaroid and thinking back on the memory that accompanied each photo. Their love was evident inside the pages of the photo album, and within every picture, and Lena knew that no matter what, they would be okay.


	49. Chapter 49

            Kara didn’t call the next day and Lena was kicking herself. She didn’t like the way they’d left things yesterday, even if they had kind of patched things up. Lena sent Kara a message, asking her to just message her and let her know she was okay, even if she didn’t want to talk to Lena she could at least just tell her she was okay. There was no reply, and Lena couldn’t help but feel hurt and scared because the only two reasons she could think of were that Kara was upset with her or she was hurt, and Lena didn’t want it to be either, although, she’d take Kara’s anger over her being hurt any day. Trying not to worry, Lena spent all day throwing herself into work, and it wasn’t until the next morning that she started to panic.

 

            She was sat at home, watching the news on the TV as she waited until she had to go to therapy, when there was a story about a raid in Afghanistan. It didn’t say where but Lena had a bad feeling, and she quickly grabbed her phone. Dialing Alex’s number, she anxiously waited for her to pick up the phone.

 

 _“Hey,”_ Alex said as soon as the call connected.

 

            “Have you heard from Kara?” Lena asked, cutting straight to the chase.

 

 _“Um not since two days ago,”_ Alex admitted.

 

            “Y-you didn’t talk to her yesterday?” Lena asked, panicking slightly.

 

 _“No. I’m guessing you didn’t either?”_ Alex asked.

 

            “No. No, I didn’t. I thought it was because she was angry with me,” Lena said, her voice shaking as fear filled her heart. “Alex, I think there’s something wrong.”

 

 _“You can’t know if something’s wrong, Lena. This happens sometimes, you know that,”_ Alex reassured her. _“She’s probably just busy. She’ll phone today, you’ll see.”_

 

            “W-what if she doesn’t? There’s been a raid in Afghanistan, on a Taliban base, they’re saying there were casualties on our side. What if it was her squadron? We fought the other day, Alex. S-she wants to enlist again, that’s what I was upset about. I don’t like how we left things, what if that was the last time we talked?” Lena babbled, on the verge of hysterics.

 

 _“Shut up! Wait – she WHAT?! Oh I am so going to kill her when I talk to her. Never mind about that now though. You stop this now, Lena. Don’t think like that, she’s fine. She’s fine until we hear otherwise,”_ Alex snapped at her. She sighed into the phone and her voice turned softer. _“This is why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d panic, but just … try not to think about it, okay? She’ll be fine. She always is.”_

            “I’m sorry,” Lena said, pausing to take a deep breath. “You’re right. Of course you’re right. She’s just busy is all.”

 

 _Right. Now focus on your therapy today, okay? Or do some boring paperwork. Read Tolstoy. Whatever shit it is you do in your spare time,”_ Alex told her, and Lena felt a little bit better at the casual tone of Alex’s voice. If Alex wasn’t worried, then she shouldn’t worry. Although Lena wasn’t looking forward to whatever confrontation was going to go down between the sister’s – she should’ve kept her mouth shut.

 

            Hanging up, Lena turned the news off and went to fetch the dog leash. Perhaps a walk would help her clear her head.

 

\---

 

            It was the middle of the afternoon, and Lena was just walking into the counselling centre. She wasn’t in a good mood – Kara hadn’t called at her usual time, and after two days of nothing, Lena was starting to panic, despite Alex’s orders not to. Spotting Lillian reading a magazine in the waiting room, Lena sighed and walked over.

 

            “Hi,” she said, taking a seat next to her mom.

 

            “I didn’t think you were going to show,” Lillian said with surprise in her voice. She closed the magazine and put it back down on the pile, before turning to her daughter.

 

            “Well I said I would, didn’t I?” Lena snapped, crossing her arms as she glowered at the floor. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Lillian blink in surprise, and taking a deep breath, Lena let out a long sigh, turning to face her mom. “Sorry, I don’t mean to snap.”

 

             “It’s quite alright. Is everything okay?” Lillian asked hesitantly.

 

            “I’d rather not talk right now. I’m sure the next hour will be bad enough as it is,” Lena said gloomily. Lillian quietly sighed but didn’t reply, letting Lena brood over whatever was troubling her. They waited another ten minutes before a woman walked into the waiting room and called them into her room, introducing herself as Megan as the two of them followed after her. Lena and Lillian sat down on the sofa and Megan sat in the armchair opposite them, giving them a reassuring smile.

 

            “Right, well, I’d like to start by reminding you that this is a safe space for everyone to speak their mind. Before we start, I know that things that may be brought up can come with a lot of anger, so I’d like to ask you both to be mindful that this is a violence-free place,” Megan told them, and Lena shot Lillian an amused look. She would love to see her mom start a cat fight in the middle of therapy – that would certainly be a sight to see.

 

            After both of them agreed to keep things as civil as possible, they began to explain why they were there. Taking it in turns, first Lillian and then Lena explained the basics of their reasons for coming, before they got stuck into the real issues. As the session wore on, they both found themselves becoming more frustrated as the other gave their side of the story.

 

            “I just feel like she doesn’t _want_ to try,” Lillian said with a sigh.

 

            Lena shot Lillian a dark look as she opened her mouth to protest. “What do you _mean_ I don’t want to try? I’m here aren’t I? I told you I wanted to try.”

 

            “Yes, but you don’t _want_ to be here. Every time I try and reach out, you find some other reason to condemn me. You say that you’ve let go and then at the first chance you get, you throw everything back in my face,” Lillian said, throwing her hands up in frustration.

 

            “Because you don’t listen to me! You never have! You _never_ ask me what I want – you just assume you know what’s best for me,” Lena argued, clenching her jaw as her anger flared up. “You have to control everything; you’ve always been the same.”

 

            “See! This is what I’m talking about. She’s always bringing the past up. I know I haven’t been the best mother, and I have to live with that guilt every day,” Lillian said, the fight draining out of her until she spoke in a small voice.

 

            “Would you like to tell me more about this guilt?” Megan asked, shifting slightly in her seat.

 

            “I-, well I wasn’t there for her – never when she needed me. From the moment she was old enough, she was sent to boarding school. We really only saw each other during the holidays and there’s always just been this huge rift between us. I blame myself for that. I, well, I didn’t fight hard enough for her,” Lillian said, a pained expression flickering across her face.

 

            “Lena, do you have anything to say to that? Perhaps how you felt not having your mom around a lot,” Megan gently prompted.

 

            Lena sighed softly, looking down at her hands as she fiddled. “I don’t know. I mean, I guess I always felt second best to my brother. He got all the attention from my mom, and I felt like I didn’t belong there with them. I didn’t like coming home on the holidays.”

 

            “Do you still feel that way now?” Megan asked.

 

            “No,” Lena slowly said. “I-I want my mom to be around. I want to see her more; I want us to be a normal family. But it’s hard, you know, like I can’t forget about the times she wasn’t there. And I guess she’s not wrong, I do drag up the past all the time, but I just feel like I’m stuck on it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I feel like she’s made a lot of effort lately, but every time she leaves, I can’t help but think about all the other times she walked away.”

 

            “Do you have anything to say to that, Lillian?”

 

            “I can see where she’s coming from, completely, but I wish she trusted me enough to know that I want to be around for everything. The problem with Lena is that if you’re not on her side, you’re against her. That’s how she sees things! So when I try and give her some advice or look out for her, she shuts me out, and I feel like I have no choice but to back away,” Lillian explained.

 

            “That’s because when you’re not on my side you are against me!” Lena argued. “You _never_ agree with me because you always think you know best, and you don’t. That’s the exact reason why everything started falling apart again!”

 

            “I told you I was sorry for that, but my concerns are justified! You just turned twenty-five, Lena. You have the rest of your life ahead of you and things might change. I was just trying to prepare you for that,” Lillian said defensively.

 

            “By telling me my fiancé is going to die?” Lena laughed incredulously. “Please, tell me, mom, what were you preparing me for when you left me home alone for a week when I was twelve?”

 

            “Oh for god’s sake, Lena. That wasn’t my fault! That was your father. I had no idea he was going to be staying in Germany for that long, or I obviously wouldn’t have left you,” Lillian huffed.

 

            “You didn’t call once the entire time you were gone! You didn’t even know I was home alone until you got back a week later!” Lena exclaimed, looking at Lillian in disbelief.

 

            Lillian opened her mouth to object but was cut off by Megan gently clearing her throat. “Perhaps we could, uh, bring the conversation back to the reason why you’re here,” she suggested. “Lillian, why don’t you explain why you told Lena her fiancé was, uh, going to … die.”

 

            “I didn’t mean that she was going to die. It was a stupid thing to say and I was wrong. What I meant was that she might break Lena’s heart. She’s still young – I don’t think she should be getting married at such a young age,” Lillian explained. “I just-, well, I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

 

            “You mentioned before that you don’t agree with, uh, Kara’s career choice. Might there be some other reasons behind your objections?” Megan asked.

 

            Lillian didn’t answer right away, and as the silence stretched on Lena became more curious. “Mom?” she pried, arching an eyebrow at Lillian when she met her gaze.

 

            Sighing, Lillian grimaced at her daughter. “I was engaged to a man before I met your father. I was young – younger than you are now – and we were in love. He-, well, he died, and I was heartbroken. I didn’t think I would ever move on from it, but then I met your dad and I didn’t love him in the same way, but I ended up settling for second best to try and move on. I don’t want that for you.”

 

            Lena opened and closed her mouth a few times, staring at Lillian with a dumbfounded look on her face. “Oh.”

 

            The rest of the session was just as bumpy and awkward, but by the time their session was up there had been no major arguments and Lillian was happy to call it a success. As the two of them left the clinic, it was heavily snowing, and Lena pulled her coat tightly around her as they made their way to Lena’s car. She drove them both to a little bistro that Kara had introduced her to, and they both sat at a table in the back corner.

 

            “So, was it as bad as you thought?” Lillian asked as she read over the menu.

 

             “Why didn’t you ever tell me that you were engaged before you met dad? Why didn’t you tell me that you didn’t _love_ dad? God, why did you even _stay_ with him? You stayed, after everything he did, you still stayed,” Lena said, frowning at her mom as she tried to understand.

 

            Lillian laughed coldly, giving Lena a wry smile. “I stayed for you. He would never have let me leave with you and Lex. And I loved him enough. I didn’t love him the most, but I loved him enough to stay.”

 

            “So that’s what this whole thing has been about? You think Kara’s going to die and I’m going to end up like you?” Lena asked, her forehead wrinkling in confusion.

 

            “Your biggest fear,” Lillian snorted, and Lena smiled slightly despite herself. A waiter came over and took their order, and as they handed off their menus, Lillian looked at her daughter, noticing the dark circles under her eyes, and the tired look in her eyes. Lena looked as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

 

            “I wish you’d tell me what’s wrong,” Lillian said softly, giving Lena a small smile.

 

            “It’s nothing,” Lena said quickly.

 

            “Okay,” Lillian said, narrowing her eyes slightly. “And how is Kara doing by the way?”

 

            “She-, uh, well, I-, um.” Lena let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know. I haven’t spoken to her in two days.”

 

             “Ah,” Lillian muttered, a look of understanding crossing her face as everything clicked into place. “I’m sure everything’s fine.” Lena nodded, not meeting her mom’s gaze.

 

            They made polite conversation as they ate their dinner, and Lena found herself relaxing slightly as she fell into the familiar brusque tone of her mom talking business. It was comforting to know that some things would never change between them. As the conversation turned towards the Christmas party, Lena had a nagging thought at the back of her mind.

 

            “Um, so I’m spending Christmas at Eliza’s this year,” Lena said hesitantly. “She, uh, she was going to invite you originally, but I think after everything happened, well … you know. Anyway, if you’re, um, not busy or if you don’t have plans already, I’m sure she’d be more than happy for you to come along.”

 

            “Oh,” Lillian said, smiling slightly. “Great.”

 

            “What is it?” Lena asked, delicately raising one eyebrow.

 

            “She already invited me,” Lillian said. “I thought you might’ve told her to, or at least known about it. I think they were conspiring against us.”

 

            Lena sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. “Of _course_ they were, and I think I know just who to point the finger at. How did she invite you though, she doesn’t have yo-, wait, she _does_ have your number, doesn’t she? You’ve been checking up on me.”

 

            “I had to know if you were okay,” Lillian said, giving Lena a sheepish smile as she shrugged slightly. Lena rolled her eyes, feeling stupid for thinking that her mom hadn’t been keeping tabs on her. It wouldn’t even be a reach to suggest that Lillian had someone tailing her to see what she was up to.

 

\---

 

            After dinner, Lena drove Lillian to the airport, dropping her off outside. Promising to see her next week, Lillian reached out and stroked Lena’s cheek, thanking her before quickly leaning in and kissing her on the forehead. Lena mumbled goodbye as she watched her mom get out of the car and head inside to catch her plane. If things carried on the way they were going, Lena didn’t think therapy would be so bad, but of course, the Luthor’s carried a lot of baggage.

 

            Heading back to her apartment, Lena was soon home, unlocking the front door and shrugging out of her coat. She was exhausted. Dragging her feet, Lena shuffled down the hallway, dreading the thought of the pile of paperwork waiting for her in her office. As she walked into the kitchen, she let out a scream, seeing Alex sprawled out along one sofa with Athena laying in her lap.

 

            “Oh, hey,” Alex said, turning her attention away from the TV to glance at Lena.

 

            “What the fuck, Alex,” Lena said breathlessly, clutching a hand to her chest as her heart raced. “How did you even get in here?”

 

            “The key that Kara gave me,” Alex said, stuffing some food, which she’d raided from Lena’s cupboards, into her mouth. “I just made coffee if you want some.”

 

            “That key was for emergencies, not for breaking and entering,” Lena said, rolling her eyes as she walked over to the coffee pot.

 

            “Technically there was no breaking, just entering, I mean, I _do_ have a key. And this is an emergency; Maggie has to work the night shift tonight. Looks like it’s just you and me tonight kid,” Alex told her.

 

            “What’s the plan?” Lena asked, bringing her cup down to the coffee table and setting it down on a coaster.

 

            “Planet Earth two is on tonight,” Alex said, needing no further explanation.

 

            “Alright, I’m just going to put my pyjamas on,” Lena informed her, before disappearing down the hallway to her bedroom. She emerged a few minutes later, and sat down on the other sofa. Alex sighed a moment later, sitting up and nudging Athena over to make some space.

 

            “Come on then.” She said to Lena, patting the space next to her.

 

            “What?” Lena asked, frowning at her in confusion.

 

            Alex snorted, rolling her eyes at Lena. “Please. I know you’re like the ice queen who hates being touched, but you’re honestly the neediest person I know when you’ve had a long day. Come here, tell me all about it.”

 

            Sighing, Lena stood up and made her way over to the other sofa, flopping down next to Alex. Draping the blanket over Lena too, Alex put her arm around Lena’s shoulder and turned the volume down on the TV. Staring straight ahead, Alex smiled slightly. “If you tell anyone about this I’ll deny every moment. Okay? Good. Now, how was it?”

 

            Cuddled up next to Alex, Lena started to rant about her therapy session and dinner with her mom, feeling like a giant weight was lifted off her chest as Alex listened without interruption or objection. As Lena came to the end of her description, Alex looked at her and made a small sound of interest, not giving any advice because she knew that wasn’t why Lena was telling her. “Hm. Whoa, look at that giraffe go.”

 

            Lena laughed quietly, leaning her head on Alex’s shoulder, who patted her arm reassuringly. She’d never had a sister – well, she did think of Alex as her sister, and Maggie too, but still – this was exactly how she imagined what it would be like to have one. Not a day went by that she didn’t appreciate Maggie making Lena want to strangle her, or Alex comforting her and making her see sense. God knows where she would be without them. Luckily, she didn’t have to think about that though, because they were family, and she was starting to realize that this was a family who was always there for each other.

 

\---

 

            Three more days passed before Kara called.

 

            As each day passed, everyone grew more tense, but none of them wanted to admit the fact that something was wrong. Every night, Eliza called Lena to check up on her and reassure her that everything was fine. After all, no news was good news.

 

            Lena was sat on one of the barstools in the kitchen when the video call popped up. She was so surprised that for a moment she was frozen, and then her heart started racing and she leapt into action, quickly answering the call and sitting up straight on the stool.

 

            Kara’s face came on the screen and Lena’s shoulders sagged in relief. “Thank god! You’ve had us all worried sick. Are you okay? You’re good right? Everything’s okay?”

 

_“Hi. Sorry I couldn’t call, it’s been hectic. There’s been some coordinated attacks so patrols have been increased, we’ve barely had time to eat and sleep. I’m sorry, I literally didn’t have one second to call.”_

            “It’s fine. As long as you’re safe, it doesn’t matter. I love you, by the way,” Lena smiled widely at her, feeling all of her stress from the past few day’s fade away.

 

 _“I love you too,”_ Kara smiled back at her.  _“Ugh, I’ve missed you so much. You have no idea how good it is to see your face. My god, if it wasn’t for that photo I keep with me I would’ve almost forgotten just how beautiful you are.”_

            Lena laughed, shaking her head as she gazed lovingly at Kara. “I think I have some idea about how good it is to see your face. I swear my hair was starting to fall out from stress.” They were both still laughing when Lena heard the sound of her front door opening, and the low sound of Alex and Maggie’s voices as they talked. The two of them emerged from the mouth of the hallway, and Alex immediately became alert.

 

            “Is that my sister?” she asked bluntly, raising her eyebrows as she walked around the island. “Oi, you. We need to talk.” Lena spluttered as Alex yanked the laptop away from her, focusing it on herself instead, and Lena’s protests fell on deaf ears.

 

_“Alex, hi! I was going to call you next, I-“_

            “Cut the shit, Kara,” Alex snapped. “Lena told me you said you might be re-enlisting. What the fuck is wrong with you? No, you listen to me. You keep your mouth shut and you listen.” Kara shut her mouth, blinking in surprise at Alex’s tone.

 

            “You have no business being over there, Kara Danvers. You better not fucking _dare_ enlist again or I will drag you back by your hair if I have to. I tried telling you when you signed up and you didn’t listen to me then, and like hell am I going to let you do this _again._ I’m not going to sit here and watch you fight in a war you don’t even believe in. I don’t know what kind of twisted idea you have in your mind, but it’s not honorable or patriotic, it’s stupid. The entire army has no business being there. They’re occupying foreign land and people are dying. They’re dying, Kara. You think that you’re helping set people free but you’re not, you’re just putting yourself in danger that was caused by our stupid fucking country. You’re acting like a child, changing your mind every two seconds about whether you’re staying home or going back. It’s not brave to stay over there, they don’t need you and you’re trying to use it as an excuse because you’re too afraid to face the future. I never took you for a coward, but you are. You’re being selfish. You’re getting _married_ , Kara. Or did you forget that while you were busy building sand castles in the desert with your friends? Hm? They don’t need you there, _we_ need you _here._ I swear to god, Kara, if you don’t come home then I’m done. This is my life too, not just yours. It’s been mine and moms for the past four years. _Four years,_ Kara. Do you know what that’s like? To live in fear _every day_ for four years because we don’t know if it’s the last time we’ll talk to you? I’m not going to let you drag Lena into this mess too.”

 

            “Alex,” Lena warned her as she started yelling.

 

            “No,” Alex said, rounding on Lena. “You can shut up too. _I_ shouldn’t have to be telling her this, _you_ should’ve told her this a long time ago. What the fuck is wrong with you, honestly? You think that she gets to make this decision for herself? You say it’s not your decision to make and that’s bullshit. You’re not selfless, you’re a coward. You’re too scared that she’s the only person that will ever love you so you’re afraid to tell her no. Well she doesn’t get to make this decision for herself. I should’ve stopped her ages ago, fucking hell, _mom_ should’ve stopped her. We let it go on for far too long and someone has to tell you the truth.”

 

 _“I’m not a child, Alex. I can make my own decisions,”_ Kara shouted back, sounding as if she was near tears.

 

            “If you’re not a child then stop acting like one!” Alex roared. “You act as if it’s all a big game. It’s not. You’re messing with people’s lives, Kara. Not just your own, but your family’s.”

 

            “Alex, that’s enough,” Maggie said firmly.

 

            “She won’t make this decision for you, but I will because _somebody_ has to. It’s your family or the army; your fiancé or your job,” Alex said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Pick now.”

 

            “Hey! You don’t get to decide for me,” Lena said, her cheeks flushing red with anger. “This is none of your business.”

 

            “Like hell it isn’t,” Alex said sharply. “Tell her. Go on, tell her how you still cry yourself to sleep some nights. Or how most nights you stay up all night anyway because every time you close your eyes you see her dying. Does she know about this? Have you told her? Because you two sure don’t do a lot of communicating do you? Where was she when Maggie and my mom and I had to pick up the pieces when you fought with your mom, over _her_? You can’t even tell her what you _want_. Jesus fucking Christ, should you even be getting married?”

 

            “ALEX.” Maggie’s shout pierced the silence that immediately followed Alex’s last words. No one said anything for a moment, and Alex and Lena glowered at each other as they stood face to face, bristling with anger. Maggie quickly shook herself out of it, and walked over, pushing the two girls apart before things got physical.

 

            Turning to Alex, Maggie pointed a finger at her in warning. “You, fuck off.”

 

            Turning around to face Lena, Maggie pointed a finger in the opposite direction. “You, fuck off too.”

 

            Rounding on the laptop, Maggie picked it up. “I swear to god, Kara, if you hang up I will fucking kill you. And I think I’m the least angry one right now.” She glanced at Lena and Alex, raising her eyebrows expectantly, and without another word, Lena turned and walked towards her bedroom. She was simmering with anger, and it was building as tears pricked her eyes. With a yell of frustration, Lena turned and put her fist straight through the wall – realizing too late that her wrist was still broken, and still encased in a cast.

 

            “Fuck!” she swore loudly, pulling her hand out of the hole and sending a shower of plaster down to the ground. Pain lanced through her entire arm and she cradled her hand to her chest, not feeling even the slightest bit better – if anything, the newly added pain of her almost certainly re-broken wrist made her feel worse.

 

            Walking into her bedroom, Lena sat on the edge of her bed, pulling her knees up to her chest and burying her head in her arms. She was so angry – not just at Alex, but at Kara, her mom, the war, and even herself. Things never seemed to go to plan and she was tired – tired of everything. As her anger grew, the tears that filled her eyes spilled over, and soon Lena was quietly sobbing as she tried to hold herself together. She was falling to pieces and she didn’t know how to stop it.

 

            It was almost half an hour later when her bedroom door cracked open a little bit, then opened a little bit more as Maggie poked her head inside. “Hey, um, I just came to check on you. She’s, uh, talking to Alex right now.”

 

            Maggie opened the door wider and came inside, crossing the room to sit down next to Lena. The hurt she was feeling inside was evident on her tear-stained face, and after a moment’s hesitation, Maggie gently rubbed Lena’s back. “I think I managed to talk some sense into her. Things … well, I think everyone was a bit out of line back there. Nice hole in the wall by the way. How’s your hand?”

 

            “Fucked,” Lena choked out.

 

            “I bet it is,” Maggie laughed quietly. She was silent for a moment while Lena sniffed and tried to pretend like she wasn’t crying. “She didn’t mean it you know. All those things she said.”

 

            “Yes she did,” Lena said, giving Maggie a wry smile. “Maybe not completely, but there’s some truth in what she said.”

 

            “She feels bad,” Maggie told her.

 

            “I feel bad too,” Lena mumbled miserably. Lena couldn’t help but feel like she was the common factor in everything that ended up getting screwed up. She told herself that this was the second family she’d ruined for herself – but she knew that wasn’t true. Not really. Family’s fought - and so did sisters - and she was just upset right now. “Can you please tell her I’m sorry?”

 

            “Yeah, sure thing,” Maggie said, giving her a small smile. “I’ll, um, go and see if they’re finished talking.” She got up and walked back out of the room, returning a few minutes later with Lena’s laptop.

 

            “She wants to talk to you,” Maggie said quietly, and Lena nodded, holding her hands out for the laptop. Bringing it over, Maggie set it down next to Lena, who stared at Kara’s face on the screen. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked anxious as she stared at Lena.

 

_“Hey.”_

 

            “Um, we’re going to head out,” Maggie murmured. “Give me a call if you need a lift to the hospital. You should really get your hand looked at again.” Lena nodded, mumbling her thanks. When the door shut behind Maggie, Lena scooted to the middle of the bed, getting underneath the covers and pulling the laptop onto her lap.

 

            “Hi,” she said quietly, giving Kara a small smile.

 

 _“What’s wrong with your hand?”_ Kara asked, her eyes full of concern.

 

            “I, um, I think I might’ve re-broken it,” Lena sheepishly admitted. “I kind of … punched the wall.”

 

 _“Jesus, Lena,”_ Kara said, her eyes immediately filling up with tears. Lena felt her own eyes prickle in response, and her heart ached as she looked at Kara’s upset face. _“I’m sorry.”_

 

            “I’m sorry too,” Lena said, her voice cracking slightly.

 

 _“No, don’t apologise. You have nothing to apologise for – this is all on me. I’ve messed everything up. She was right – about everything,_ ” Kara sighed, wiping her eyes. _“Well everything about me anyway.”_

            “She was right about me too,” Lena admitted, grimacing slightly. “Your sister’s a hardass, I’ll give her that. She really put us in our place, huh?”

 

 _“God, I’ve made such a mess of things,”_ Kara groaned. _“W-why didn’t you tell me? About the things she said? I-, yo-, was it true?”_

 

            “I-, well, yes,” Lena admitted. She let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through her hair as she closed her eyes for a moment. “I can’t remember the last time I had a proper night’s sleep.”

 

 _“Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you let me think you were okay?”_  Kara asked, her voice wobbling slightly, betraying just how close to crying she was.

 

            “I didn’t want you to worry,” Lena said, shrugging slightly. “I mean, of _course_ I’m not okay though, Kara. I haven’t been okay since you left the first time.”

 

 _“I’m not leaving again. I promise you – I’m not going back,”_ Kara swore.

 

            Lena let out a soft sigh, closing her eyes at Kara’s words. “Just stop. Please, Kara, just … don’t. I'm tired.”

 

 _“No, I mean it this time, Lena. If I go back, then I’ll call off the engagement. I won't put you through this again. I swear on our relationship. Alex was right – I have to pick. I’d pick you over anything, you know that. You let me think that I could have both, but I can’t, and that’s okay,”_ Kara told her.

 

            “I’m sorry. I really did think you had the right to decide alone,” Lena told her.

 

 _“I know, but we’re getting married, Lena. We’ll have to make decisions together for the rest of our life,”_ Kara reminded her. _“I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m sorry, I was wrong, I’m not going back. Now, c-can you just talk, please. I haven’t heard your voice in five days. I just want to listen to you talk.”_

 

            Lena quietly laughed. “Sure. About what?”

 

 _“Anything,”_ Kara mumbled.

 

            “Okay, well, um, I was thinking about the wedding. I was thinking a neutral colour for Alex and Maggie, I feel like it’d be a nice colour no matter what season we got married in. For flowers, I was thinking peonies, and maybe some other ones, but I really like peonies. I know I told you we could get married in a church for you, so I feel like peonies would really change the place. I want to get married in a nice church though, not like an old boring one – you only get married once, right? Well, hopefully. I don’t know if you wanted to get married here or in Midvale, but I know you really want to go to France. The south is really beautiful, and they have the loveliest little churches so we could have an overseas wedding. I mean, it’s not like we’re going to have a big one, right? Just our moms, and your sister and Maggie, and I have friends now, and of course Winn, James and Lucy would be there. So really, it’d be easy to fly everyone over, I mean, I have my own plane. Also, I don’t know if you want to wear a dress – I figured you might – and I could wear a dress too, or maybe a suit. You know I look good in a power suit. You could pick the menu, of course. I’d be okay with whatever food you wanted. Honestly, we could just have whatever we wanted. Anything you wanted for it, I could get. I could have all sorts flown in from all over the world – it’s going to be so perfect. I would give you the world. Not that materialistic things matter to me, we could wear a bin bag and sign out names on the back of a napkin and it’d mean just as much to me. As long as I get to say I do and spend the rest of my life with you, it doesn’t matter what happens. I just want you.”

 

             As Lena trailed off, she laughed self-consciously, thinking that Kara would poke fun at her big plans and stupid ideas for their wedding. Instead, she was silently crying, with tears running down her cheeks. She laughed quietly, wiping them away. _“I want all of it. I want all of it with you. It sounds perfect. Thank you.”_

 

            Lena smiled widely, her own eyes filling with tears.

 

\---

 

            It was late in Afghanistan when Kara finally hung up. She hadn’t wanted to go, she’d begged Lena to stay and talk for a while longer, just so she could hear her voice. Lena had obliged, picking up the nearest book and reading several poems out loud to her before she’d told Kara it was time for her to go to bed.

 

            Lena lay in bed for a little while after she hung up, staring out the window as the midday sun streamed in through the open curtains. After a while she got up and dialed Maggie’s number - her hand was killing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a few of you wanted more Kara and Alex interactions, and I'm not sure what you had in mind, but this is what I had planned lmao. Sorry!


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've realised there's roughly 5 more chapters left now. Not definitely, but the ending is in sight.

            It was two days before Christmas, and Lena was sat in her office, trying to avoid doing her work when Jess opened the office door.

 

            “Lena, Ronnie is here,” Jess informed her, giving her a smile. “Shall I send her in?”

 

            “Ugh, yes, please. I need a distraction,” Lena said, sighing as she closed her laptop and pushed it away from her. A moment later, Roulette walked in and raised an eyebrow as she looked around the office.

 

            “Not too bad, Luthor,” she said with approval. “I never thought you’d go into the family business though.”

 

            “Well I never did what was expected of me, Ronnie, you know that,” Lena said, half rolling her eyes. “So is this for business or a social visit?”

 

            “Social. Do you want to grab lunch?” Roulette asked.

 

            “Sure,” Lena agreed, “let me get my things.”

 

            Jess declined their invitation to join them for lunch, choosing to stay at the office and finish some work, despite Lena’s best efforts to convince her. Giving in, the two of them made their way downstairs - with Roulette getting a quick promise out of Jess that she would be there at the next game night – and they headed towards this raw food café that Lena had been dying to go to. She’d considered going with Maggie – the only other person who would probably enjoy the food – but she’d been avoiding Alex. Well, not avoiding her, but she hadn’t seen her since the fight. Both of them were giving each other time to cool off, and Maggie popped in every day to check up on Lena.

 

            Lena and Roulette sat in the café eating their kale and quinoa salads and Roulette eyes Lena’s smoothie sceptically. “Jesus, Luthor, I knew you were into all that healthy shit at school, but seriously, at what cost,” she said, looking at the thick green liquid. Lena shrugged indifferently - maybe she should’ve waited for Maggie after all.

 

            “So, when did you say you were heading out?” Roulette asked.

 

            “Tomorrow morning,” Lena explained. “We’re catching the early train so we can spend most of the day at Alex’s moms. We’re only staying a few days.”

 

            “So, New Years Eve. Any plans?” Roulette asked, elaborating when Lena shook her head. “Right. So it’s Gatsby night at my casino here. You should bring the girls. Drinks will be on the house for my friends.”

 

            “Sounds good. I’ll run it by them and let you know, but I can’t see them disagreeing,” Lena told her, smiling at her. She was about to add something else when her phone started ringing, and she smiled brightly as Kara’s name popped up on the screen. “Sorry, it’s Kara. Do you mind?”

 

            “By all means. I’m interested to know more about her,” Roulette said, raising her eyebrows slightly. “She must be quite special to have managed to make your heart melt.”

 

            Lena laughed, shaking her head as she answered. “Hey,” she said when the video connected, and Kara smiled widely back at her.

 

 _“Hey yourself. Looks like you finally got out of the office, huh?”_ Kara said.

 

            “I’m having lunch with Veronica,” Lena explained, quickly holding the phone out at an angle so that Roulette came into view.

 

            “Nice to meet you Kara,” Roulette said, waving slightly. “Lena’s told me all about you.”

 

 _“Yeah, hi. It’s nice to meet you too, and likewise. I’ve heard a lot of stories about you – I’m surprised you two are still allowed in the same room as each other,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “Hey, it was your fiancé who started a brawl in _my_ bar,” Roulette laughed. “If anything, she was the bad influence.”

 

 _“Any tips?”_ Kara asked, laughing along with her as Lena rolled her eyes good naturedly.

 

            “Alright, that’s enough from you two,” Lena said, putting the camera back on herself. “How was your day?”

 

 _“Good, yeah. It was quiet, just the way you like it,”_ Kara said, wrinkling her nose slightly before she smiled at Lena. _“How’s the hand?”_

 

            “I’m regretting it. You know Maggie brought a frame over last night and framed the hole? She even put up a little plaque beneath it saying ‘First Family Fight. 2017. Small: Fist, Drywall’. The cheeky shit. I would’ve killed her if it wasn’t so funny,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. She caught Roulette’s questioning look and gave her an embarrassed smile. “I punched a hole in the wall and re-broke my hand.”

 

            “Ah,” she nodded, biting her lip as she tried not to smile.

 

 _“Trust Maggie to be the one to turn it all into a big joke,”_ Kara sighed, a look of amusement crossing her face. _“Did you speak to Alex today?”_

 

            “No. I’ll definitely see her tomorrow, so I guess we’ll have to talk then. Your mom called again last night. She’s phoned every day to make sure I’m still coming,” Lena told her with a quiet laugh.

 

 _“Yeah, she was a bit worried that you wouldn’t come,”_ Kara said.

 

            Lena scoffed, “please, I’m not _that_ childish. Uh, what’s that look for?” Roulette gave her an innocent look, shrugging helplessly.

 

            “Nothing. It’s just that I remember you specifically getting people to prank call your mom and leave voicemails to mess with her,” Roulette said. “Seems a little childish to me.”

 

            “I said I wasn’t _that_ childish, not that I wasn’t childish,” Lena laughed. “Also I’d like to think I’ve grown as a person. I’d prank call her myself now.”

 

 _“Wait, what did you used to get them to say?”_ Kara asked, sounding intrigued.

 

            “Um, well I’d get someone leave a voicemail pretending to be the doctor’s office and tell her my bloodwork came back saying I was pregnant. One time we had fake tattoos made up and we sent her a picture of me with ‘weed 4 eva’ tattooed across my knuckles. She lost her shit with those ones,” Lena laughed, covering her mouth.

 

            “Or that time I called up pretending to work at a piercing place and told her I needed her permission to pierce your nipples,” Roulette laughed.

 

            “Oh god, I _was_ really childish,” Lena groaned. “No wonder she didn’t like me.”

 

 _“Lena!”_ Kara exclaimed, trying not to laugh. _“Actually, I’m not even surprised. God, did they even look after you at boarding school? Everything I hear is about you causing as much chaos as you could.”_

            “Don’t look at me, this was all her!” Lena said defensively, pointing at Roulette.

 

            “Picture this, Kara. A couple of hundred girls crammed into one place with a dozen nuns. Twenty-four seven. Just imagine it. We had to come up with our own fun,” Roulette laughed.

 

 _“Fun? Well I know where Lena gets her warped ideals and sense of humour from now,”_ Kara said, rolling her eyes. _“I used to knit scarves, or take photos, or go to science camp for fun.”_

            They all talked for a while longer, until it was time for Kara to go to bed, and Lena hung up, putting her phone away and meeting Roulette’s raised eyebrows with an embarrassed smile. “Shut up, Ronnie,” Lena muttered.

 

            “Who would’ve thought it; Lena Luthor, blushing like a school girl with her first crush,” Roulette said, grinning wickedly at Lena. Rolling her eyes, Lena smiled as she stared down at her engagement ring. “I’m happy for you. Truly. I know we were kind of bitchy in school, but we were kind of friends, weren’t we? I’m glad that you’ve found your happiness. She’s nice, I like her.”

 

            “Well you were the closest thing I had to one, at any rate,” Lena admitted. “And yes, she is. A little too naïve and optimistic sometimes, but it’s endearing and I like it about her.”

 

            “Yeah, you two kind of have that whole sun and moon thing going on. Two halves of a whole. The big ‘opposites attract’ thing.. All that sappy true love shit,” Roulette laughed. Lena smiled, rolling her eyes as she blushed. A part of her was happy that she got to show off her relationship to someone new – the only other people who she saw enough to talk to about Kara was Kara’s family, and they’d watched their relationship grow right before their eyes.

 

\---

 

            Lena took a longer lunch than usual, but eventually she returned to her office and spent the rest of the afternoon in various business meetings. She left early, knowing that Kara would be mad at Lena if she stayed late (she was still caught up on Lena getting stabbed after the last time she stayed late.) Lena made two stops on her way home, before returning to her apartment to finish packing for tomorrow.

 

            She was going through the dry cleaning that Jess had dropped off for her when there was a knock on the door. Figuring that Maggie would just let herself in, Lena held up two sweaters, deciding on the black one and adding it to her bag. There was another knock – louder this time. With a sigh, Lena abandoned her clothes and made her way to the door, yanking it open.

 

            “I’m surprised you haven’t kicked it in ye-“ She said, cutting off when she realized that it wasn’t Maggie. It was Alex. “Oh.”

 

            “Can I come in?” Alex asked after a slight pause. Lena nodded, moving to the side to let Alex walk inside. Shutting the door, Lena followed after Alex. Sitting down on one of the kitchen stools, Alex but a bag down on the counter and Lena stood across from her, lingering awkwardly as she tried to think of something to say.

 

            “Coffee?” Lena asked after a pause.

 

            “Oh, yeah, that’d be great,” Alex said, sounding slightly relieved. Neither of them spoke as Lena made them both a cup of coffee, setting Alex’s down in front of her.

 

            “So,” Alex said. “I, uh, well, this is for you.” She opened the bag and pulled out a container of sushi, pushing it across the counter towards Lena. It was from her favourite sushi place – which Alex clearly knew. Lena bit back a smile as she turned around and opened the freezer, pulling out two tubs of real ice cream that she’d picked up on the way home – cookie dough and strawberry; Alex’s favourite flavours. She had been trying to swallow her pride enough to go over to their apartment and offer the ice cream as a peace offering. Lena pulled out a spoon and slid both tubs towards Alex.

 

            “This was for you,” Lena said, shrugging. “I know how much you hate Maggie’s vegan ice cream.” Alex cracked a smile and pulled a magazine out of the bag too, before crumpling it up into a ball. She held it against her chest for a moment, before handing it over to Lena. Taking it off her, Lena stared down at the cover of the bridal magazine.

 

            “I’m sorry,” Alex said. “I said a lot of things I didn’t mean and I regret that – and I especially regret saying that you shouldn’t be getting married.”

 

            “I’m sorry too,” Lena apologized, picking up the bouquet of flowers she’d also stopped off to buy, and setting them down on the counter near Alex. Lena picked up the magazine, coffee and sushi and walked around the counter to sit down on the stool next to Alex. “I should never have let this go on for so long. She needed someone to tell her the truth, and you were right, I was too scared to do it myself.”

 

            “It still wasn’t fair for me to shout at you like that. I was angry at Kara, and maybe a little angry at you, but mostly her,” Alex said, picking up the spoon and pulling one of the ice cream tubs towards her. Lena pried the lid off the sushi and picked up a piece, taking a small bite out of it.

 

            “It’s fine. I needed that, really. I still haven’t exactly talked to her about things – I guess that after not hearing from her for so long I’ve just been trying to avoid any conflict,” Lena said, grimacing slightly.

 

            Alex turned to face her, raising her eyebrows. “Seriously? Jesus, Lena. Just tell her the truth; it’s as simple as that. If she doesn’t like it, well then tough.”

 

            “Yeah, you’re right,” Lena sighed. “I was going to bring it up after Christmas. I didn’t want to ruin the holidays fighting with her.”

 

            Alex snorted, shaking her head. “Yeah, because walking on eggshells is _so_ much better. I know I said she was acting like a child, but she’s an adult, and so are you. You don’t have to fight to sort things out you know, you _can_ have a civil conversation. This isn’t the same as things with your mom.”

 

            “Touché,” Lena said with a small smile.

 

            “Now,” Alex said, taking the magazine and opening it up. “Let’s have a look at some dresses. What kind of style do you like? Obviously not the big fairytale princess ones – although we should keep an eye out for one like that that Kara might like. I know she's big on that shit.”

 

            Lena shook her head as she laughed. “You do know we won’t be getting married for like a year or two, right?”

 

            “Stop ruining my apology,” Alex pouted. “Now come on, just have a look at a few things.”

 

            They spent the next hour flipping through the pages of the magazine, looking at all sorts of wedding dresses, floral arrangements and centre pieces for the tables. By the time that Alex left, they were both back to their usual teasing and their guilt from their argument had eased slightly. 


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I lied when I said there'd be 5 more - there's going to be a couple more extra too. But also, this story could literally go on for a lot longer but I feel like it's going to start getting boring soon? Like the angst is all at the end and I don't want to bore you all with less important things, but, if you want, there's more to write and I could drag it out a bit longer. So it's really up to all of you tbh.

            They were sat in Eliza’s living room, drinking peppermint hot chocolate at Alex’s insistence – apparently it was a Danvers family tradition. The snow outside blanketed everything, but they didn’t feel the chill inside as a fire roared in the fireplace and they sat cuddled up underneath blankets. Winter in Midvale was a completely different Christmas to what Lena had previously experienced – part of that she attributed to the fact that the house was completely decked out in all sorts of decorations, and because for the first time in forever, Lena wasn’t spending it alone. Of course, she’d spent Christmas with her family when she was younger, which had entailed a single bare looking Christmas tree, a room full of gifts and Lillian sat in silence. Her father was never there for Christmas, and it wasn’t until Lena was a teenager that the huge pile of presents stopped being enough to distract her from everything wrong with her family.

 

            They were watching a Christmas movie when Eliza had a call off Kara. As the call connected, everyone shouted hello to Kara, and Eliza smiled widely at her screen. “Hi sweetie,” Eliza said. “How was your day? We’re all missing you here.”

 

 _“Hi mom! Work was fine. I had a pretty relaxing day building sandcastles,”_ Kara laughed, and Alex groaned.

 

            “Shut up, Kara. I’m still mad at you,” she said, rolling her eyes. Lena bit back a smile as she listened to the two of them bicker for a moment.

 

 _“Oh come on Alex, I said I was sorry. And I told you, I’m not going back. If I go back I can’t marry Lena, I promised her. Ask her,”_ Kara told her and three curious pairs of eyes turned to face her.

 

            Lena shrugged. “Her words, not mine.”

 

 _“Well we all know I wouldn’t risk that, so it’s safe to say I’ll be home in a little over two months,”_ Kara said excitedly, and everyone smiled. Lena couldn’t help but think that it was the best possible Christmas present Kara could give her – just that promise was enough.

 

            They all talked to her for a while, and then Eliza handed the phone off to Lena so she could talk to Kara for a bit. Lena asked Kara to give her a moment, and she hung up, handing Eliza back her phone and excusing herself from the room. She had to talk to Kara alone. Racing upstairs, Lena powered up her laptop and sat in the middle of Kara’s bed while she waited for it to turn on. As soon as she logged in, she called Kara, who answered straight away.

 

 _“Are you wearing the sweater I knitted you?”_ Kara asked, smiling hopefully at Lena.

 

            Lena looked down and pulled at the front of the sweater. “Yeah, it’s comfy. I love it. It makes me feel, I don’t know, safe? Closer to you. Is that stupid?”

 

 _“No, that’s not stupid at all,”_ Kara said, her eyes crinkling at the corners. _“So … what do you want to talk about alone?”_

            “Ah, right,” Lena muttered. “Um, well we haven’t really talked about things. Like, properly. I wanted to wait until after Christmas, but I think we need to talk now.”

 

 _“Okay,”_ Kara said slowly. _“Where do you want to start?”_

 

            “Um … I don’t know. I didn’t get that far ahead,” Lena admitted. “I guess I, uh, well, you’re not going back?”

 

 _“No,”_ Kara said firmly. _“You mean everything to me, Lena. And so does my family. I’m not going to let something like a war I don’t believe in stand in the way – even if I’m scared of the future. So no, I’m not coming back here. I’m done.”_

            Lena nodded. “Okay. I don’t mean to push you, and I know I said I’d never decide for you, but Alex was right. I should’ve had the guts to tell you from the beginning, but I was scared that you would leave. I was afraid of losing you when I’d only just gotten you. But your sister was right, and I should’ve told you a long time ago that I couldn’t let you go back. I haven’t been okay; I haven’t been fine. Alex was telling the truth that sometimes I have nightmares, and most nights I don’t go to bed, and it hurts. It hurts not having you here, and the only thing keeping me going is knowing that you’re coming home. It hurt to hear you say you weren’t.”

 

 _“Lena,”_ Kara whispered, a pained expression on her face. _“Why didn’t you tell me?”_

 

            “I didn’t want to hurt you. And I don’t say it to hurt you now, but I had to be honest with you,” Lena told her.

 

 _“Of course you don’t. I know that. I wish you’d told me earlier. I-I could’ve helped,”_ Kara said.

 

            Lena gave her a wry smile. “No, you couldn’t, and that’s why I didn’t tell you. Just like you didn’t tell me what you were going through. It makes it harder for us both, I get that, but we shouldn’t be keeping things from each other to spare our feelings.”

 

 _“You’re right. I wish there was something that I could do though,”_ Kara said, and her face crumpled as if she was about to start crying.

 

            “There is; you can come home,” Lena laughed, smiling as she saw a smile spread across Kara’s face too.

 

 _“Wait for me,”_ Kara said, and Lena promised. She would always wait for her to come back. It’s why she had never fought Kara on her decision – because no matter what, Lena wouldn’t be able to let her go. She would spend a lifetime waiting, even if it killed her inside.

 

 _“I know you’re probably thinking too hard about me coming home. I want you to know that yes, I’m doing this for you, and Alex and my mom, but yes, I’m doing this for me too. I know you worry about that for some reason,”_ Kara said, frowning slightly.

 

            “It’s because I don’t want to tell you what you can and cannot do. I don’t want to be that person who controls their relationships,” Lena confessed. “That’s not healthy. I don’t want us to ever be like that.”

 

 _“God, I would never let you do that! I’m not as stubborn as you, but I would never give up who I am for a relationship. I’m scared that you would though,”_ Kara admitted.

 

            Lena laughed. “I might. I don’t know. I’ve always been so stubborn around everyone else - so cold and removed – but around you, I’m not so sure. I guess there’s a middle ground though.”

 

 _“Yeah. We need to make more decisions together. Like our wedding date – I want us to get married in June. I don’t mean this upcoming June – maybe the year after – but the month June,”_ Kara said with a wide smile.

 

            “June?” Lena asked. “Why June? I assumed you would’ve wanted a spring wedding. Not that there's anything wrong with summer.”

 

_“So I was reading that book on Greek and Roman mythology that you gave me, and I got to the part about Juno. It sounds stupid, but I think you’ll like this because I know how much you love mythology, and you probably already know where I’m heading. She’s the goddess of marriage right? And June is named after her, and-“_

            “And she blesses all marriages in the month of June,” Lena finished, smiling widely. “I love it.”

 

 _“See? A compromise,”_ Kara said happily. _“That wasn’t so hard.”_

 

            “Okay, but I feel like that was an easy one. What happens when we need to decide where we want to buy a house? Or where to send the kids to school. I’m guessing you’d be opposed to boarding school. Did you want them to be brought up in a certain religion? God, just imagine how many decisions we’d have to make for a kid – I’m overwhelmed just thinking about this hypothetical situation,” Lena babbled.

 

_“Okay, well for the house, we could stay in National City. You could still keep the headquarters there then, and we’d have some family. I know you want a big house so you’d probably want an estate just outside the city, which is fine. I am one hundred percent against boarding school after all of your stories – but I’d compromise on a private school. A good science program, of course. Religion? I don’t know, I guess they can decide that. And all of the rest of them we’ll figure out together.”_

            “Together. Right. Yeah, no, that all sounds perfect. God, this is a lot easier than I thought it would be. I mean, it’s all hypothetical now, so I guess we’ll see, but I was ready for a bit of a fight,” Lena laughed.

 

 _“Please. I don’t think your hands could take anymore punches,”_ Kara laughed, shaking her head.

 

            “Hm, yeah, that’s a good point. Let’s see if the left one holds up over Christmas. I bet it’s going to be interesting with everyone under one roof. Things are still a little tense, even if everyone’s talking,” Lena admitted.

 

 _“It’s Christmas! Try not to worry, just for a few days,”_ Kara said.

 

            “I feel better already,” Lena smiled.

 

            They talked a little while longer, both feeling better now that they’d agreed to find a middle ground when it came to the big decisions. They’d made the most important one though, and Lena truly believed Kara this time when she said she wouldn’t re-enlist. Everything else was just a matter of time.

 

            After she hung up, Lena went back downstairs and rejoined the other three women. They were watching a different Christmas movie now and Lena quickly got herself up to speed as Eliza draped the blanket over her lap, pulling her close. No one did anything productive for the rest of the day, and as it got later, Alex’s excitement rose. Lena hadn’t expected her to have such a childlike wonder when it came to Christmas, and she smiled at the thought of how over excited Alex and Kara must’ve been on Christmas morning when they were younger.

 

            As the night wore on, the four of them found themselves getting drowsier. Before someone fell asleep, Alex got up and proclaimed that it was present time, and Lena frowned at her in confusion.

 

            “What? You have to wait until the morning,” Lena told her.

 

            “Just go with it. Apparently this is a family tradition,” Maggie whispered as Eliza got up and disappeared for a few minutes, before returning with three wrapped gifts. Lena took the gift that Eliza handed her and thanked her, before she started opening the wrapping paper to reveal a pair of pyjamas covered in planets and stars. Lena laughed, covering her mouth with a hand as she picked up the shirt and held it against herself.

 

            “We get pyjamas every Christmas Eve so that we’re wearing new ones in the morning,” Alex explained, holding up her own pyjamas which were covered in dinosaurs. Lena nodded, glancing at Maggie who was holding up a pair covered in penguins.

 

            “Nice pyjamas, Pingu,” Lena laughed as Maggie flipped her off.

 

            They stayed up a little while longer and then Eliza told them it was time for bed, kissing the three girls on the cheek as they made their way upstairs. Lena slipped inside Kara’s bedroom and changed into her new pyjamas before getting into bed. She stared at the ceiling for hours as she waited for sleep to take her, and eventually it came.

 

\---

 

            Lena woke up the next morning to Alex jumping on her. Struggling upright, Lena pushed her off, grumbling as she wiped the sleep from her eyes. “What the fuck, Alex,” Lena groaned.

 

            “It’s Christmas! Wake up!” Alex yelled, and Eliza appeared in the doorway, stifling a yawn.

 

            “For god’s sake Alex, not so loud please,” Eliza said, rolling her eyes. “Merry Christmas sweetie.”

 

            “Merry Christmas, Eliza,” Lena said, rolling out of bed. She walked over to the door and kissed Eliza on the cheek, and then everyone made their way downstairs. They all cooked breakfast together, talking excitedly as they all helped out. Soon enough, the four of them were crowded around the table, helping themselves to food. Lena smiled to herself as she watched Alex, who was practically bouncing with excitement. They washed up after breakfast and spent the rest of the morning getting all the food ready for their roast dinner for later on.

 

            It was just before lunchtime when Lillian knocked on the door, and Lena answered it, inviting her mom inside. Lillian’s cheeks were rosy from the bitter cold outside, and her coat was dusted with fresh snow, but despite all of that, she was smiling. Lena blinked in surprise at Lillian’s smile – she was truly happier than Lena could remember seeing her. Perhaps she wasn’t the only one grateful to be experiencing a proper Christmas for once.

 

            They didn’t open the presents until Kara called a little while later, having promised they’d wait for her. As the call connected, everyone shouted merry Christmas to her, and she replied in kind, smiling widely. As soon as the niceties were out of the way, Alex launched herself at the pile of presents, reading the tags and tossing them to the recipients.

 

            “She does know Santa isn’t real, right?” Lillian muttered to Lena as they both watched Alex from the sofa. Lena burst out laughing and quickly clapped a hand over her mouth while Lillian bit back a smile.

 

            “What’s so funny?” Alex asked, tossing Lena a present.

 

            “Nothing,” Lena and Lillian replied at the same time, exchanging a conspiring look.

 

 _“Hey! Lena! Guess what came today!”_ Kara said excitedly, and Eliza passed the phone over. Kara held up her left hand, showing Lena the engagement ring she’d sent. _“Just in time for Christmas! I love the Christmas party photos you sent too – I almost thought you were lying about wearing the sweater. But the ring! Look!”_

 

            “Do you like it?” Lena asked, smiling widely at Kara’s enthusiasm.

 

 _“Yeah! I love it! Thank you, Lillian,”_ Kara said. Lillian leant towards Lena so that she could see the screen, and she smiled slightly as she took in the sight of the ring on Kara’s finger.

 

            “Not at all. It suits you,” Lillian replied, her smile growing slightly.

 

            They all unwrapped their gifts, and there were hugs and thank you’s exchanged all around. Lena couldn’t help but feel sad that Kara wasn’t here, because even though she was just as enthusiastic and vocal over the phone, Lena knew if she was here she would be taking photo after photo. One of Lena’s gifts off Kara had been another hand knitted sweater, this time in olive green which Lena suspected was to bring out her eyes, and she quickly exchanged the sweater she was wearing for the new one, much to Lillian’s amusement. Amongst the other gifts, there was a letter off Kara too, but Lena saved that until later.

 

            After helping to clean up the mess, Lena awkwardly tried to pick up all of her gifts so she could take them upstairs. Lillian noticed her struggling and quickly relieved her of half of the pile, and Lena thanked her before she set off upstairs with her mom following close behind. Inside Kara’s room, Lena set her pile down on the bed, and Lillian followed suit. Lena turned to face her mom, knowing that she had been dying to get Lena lone for a few minutes.

 

            “So, um, thank you for the gifts,” Lena said. “And thank you for everyone else’s, it was very generous of you.”

 

            “It was nothing,” Lillian said, brushing off her thanks. “I, uh, I wanted to talk to you. About therapy the other day, actually. I know it’s only been two sessions, but I think it’s helping.”

 

            “Yeah, I think it was a good idea,” Lena agreed, giving Lillian a small smile.

 

            “Well, there was something you said that’s been bothering me,” Lillian said hesitantly. “Do you mind if we sit?” Lena nodded and sat down on the bed, and Lillian sat down next to her. She was silent for a moment as she collected her thoughts, and Lena waited patiently, curious to see what she had to say.

 

            “Look, I won’t pretend I was the best mom, or even a good one, but I have always loved you Lena. The other day you said that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me things, and I’ll be honest, that hurt. You don’t owe me anything, I know that, but I want to earn your trust. Please, just tell me how I can do that,” Lillian said, pleading slightly.

 

            “Mom, I don’t know. It’s hard for us, and I don’t know why. I can argue with anyone and move on from it in a day or two, but then with you … I just-, I don’t know where we went wrong,” Lena admitted.

 

            “I know the last time you phoned me to tell me something, it was to tell me you were engaged, and I know I reacted badly, but that’s literally the only time you’ve ever phoned me to tell me about your life, Lena. I feel helpless. I want you to be able to call me and tell me about important things, or even just about your day,” Lillian told her.

 

            Lena laughed quietly. “You’re too busy to hear about the business meeting with the Russians that I offended because I didn’t take their offer. It’s fine, honestly. It’s boring and it’s not interesting and I don’t want to bother you with stupid things.”

 

            “But I _want_ you to,” Lillian said. “It’s not stupid, or boring, or uninteresting to me. I wish you would talk to me more. I know these therapy sessions are going to let me spend more time with you, but we don’t get to talk about the small things. I’ve missed out on so much already, I want to know everything.”

 

            “Everything?” Lena asked, arching an eyebrow.

 

            “Yes! Everything. I want to know if you tried a new restaurant and thought it was terrible, or what new vegetables you planted in your garden. You’re going to be planning a wedding and I want you to be able to call and ask my opinion on what flowers you should have.”

 

            “Peonies,” Lena said after a moment. “I was thinking peonies. And we’re thinking of a June wedding. Don’t worry, not this June.” Lillian let out a breathless laugh and reached out to brush the hair out of Lena’s face.

 

            “That sounds lovely,” she said, leaning in to give Lena a kiss on the forehead before pulling back.

 

            “And Kara was thinking about re-enlisting again the other day, but she’s not anymore so it’s all fine. She, uh, she has a degree in biological science so she’s thinking about finding something in research,” Lena said, trying to open up more about her relationship. Lillian hadn’t mentioned that, but Lena knew that it would mean a lot to her mom just to be in the loop a little bit more, and Lena had tried extra hard to keep her away from anything considering Kara.

 

            “Biological science?” Lillian asked, her eyebrows shooting up.

 

            Lena smiled, “mhm. She might be in the army, but she’s smarter than anyone realizes.”

 

            “Um, well … if, uh, if she’s going to be looking for a job, she could work for me,” Lillian suggested, and Lena looked at her in surprise. “You know all of my research is based on biology. She doesn’t have to, of course, but if she’s having trouble looking for a job when she gets back, I’d be more than happy to give her one.”

 

            “Oh, that’s very nice of you, mom,” Lena said. “I’ll talk to her about it. Thanks”

 

            They both sat there for a moment, thinking things over. This whole talking about personal things was new to them, and they were so new to therapy that they were still focusing on the big things. Neither of them really knew how to process this side of their relationship.

 

            “Mom?” Lena said after a moment, and Lillian looked up expectantly. “I’ll try and do better.”

 

            Lillian’s expression softened and she smiled sadly. “Oh Lena, honey, you don’t have to _try_. I’m sorry that I made you think like you always had to try so hard. You’re perfect just the way you are, and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you were never good enough for me. I don’t want you to try, I just want you to be you. You’re incredible. You’re the best decision of my life, and you’re the only good thing I got right, and that’s all on you. You were good, and smart and beautiful despite everything that happened. You did all that by yourself. I’m _so_ incredibly proud of you, please never doubt that. And don’t doubt that I love you.”

 

            “Mom?” Lena said again and Lillian arched an eyebrow. “I love you too.”

 

            Lillian smiled at her, giving Lena’s cheek a gentle pat. “Merry Christmas, dear.”

 

\---

 

            Dinner was a lively affair, with Alex playing Christmas music as the five of them crowded around the table. They all had Christmas crackers and wore the cheap paper hats, and it was like something straight out of one of the movies that Lena had been forced to watch over the past few days. Everything was almost perfect, except for the sixth empty chair at the table where Kara should’ve been. Lena couldn’t help but wonder if this was how the holidays would be for the rest of her life; the five of them and Kara. She was a bit surprised to see that Lillian was so happy – it was a new side to her mom, and Lena felt happy knowing that even her mom could change.

 

            Lena, Alex and Maggie got started on the dishes, leaving Eliza and Lillian to make themselves comfortable in the living room with a bottle of wine. The three girls kept peeking through the door as they washed and dried the plates and pots.

 

            “This is weird right?” Lena asked after a few minutes.

 

            “Yeah,” Alex agreed, “our mom’s are getting tipsy together, this is _very_ weird.”

 

            The three of them quietly started laughing as they carried on working. Soon enough, they were back in the living room, and Lena was squashed in next to Eliza and Lillian, while Alex and Maggie monopolized the other sofa. They watched another Christmas movie while they all talked and drank, before turning their attention to games, at Alex’s insistence. Lena was surprised when Lillian willingly joined in, wiping the floor with everyone in trivial pursuit. There were a few arguments in their monopoly game, and once again, Lena and Alex’s rivalry came out. Lillian watched them argue with raised eyebrows and a slight smile – Lena had never used to be like this with Lex, and Lillian was happy that she’d found a new family. They played half a dozen more games, laughing and pushing each other’s buttons as they did, until eventually they were all too tired to play anymore. It was at that point that Lillian stood up, announcing that it was time for her to leave.

 

            Eliza frowned for a second. “You’re going?”

 

            “Yes, there’s a little hotel in town. I booked a room for the night. Perhaps I can see you in the morning, before I go.” She directed the last part at Lena, with a hopeful expression on her face.

 

            “A hotel? No no, you’ll stay here,” Eliza instantly protested.

 

            “Thank you, but it’s quite alright. I’m sure it’ll be fine for one night,” Lillian told her.

 

            Lena laughed, shaking her head slightly. “Mom, you’ve never stayed in a hotel with less than a five-star rating in your entire life.”

 

            “You make me sound so stuck up,” Lillian sighed, rolling her eyes.

 

            “Well …” Lena trailed off, shrugging her shoulders and Lillian smiled slightly.

 

            “Really,” Eliza said. “I insist. It’s Christmas – you should be with family.” Everyone blinked with surprise at that, and Lillian’s eyes widened slightly. Of course they all knew that Lena was a part of their little family – she had been from the moment she’d met Kara – but they hadn’t really viewed Lillian as a part of that, until Eliza had just pointed it out. She’d always just been Lena’s mom.

 

            “It might be a tight fit, but we’ll all manage. Um, you might have to share with Lena though,” Eliza said slowly, turning to look at Lena. All eyes fell on her and she sighed quietly.

 

            “Yeah, that’s, uh, fine,” Lena agreed, and a feeling of uncertainty filled her. Tonight was definitely going to be interesting. After a slight hesitation, Lillian gave in and sat back down on the sofa. Lena gave her a warm smile as Eliza bustled off to the kitchen to make them all a cup of coffee before they eventually went to bed.

 

            Lena took hers with a quick thank you, and excused herself from the room, heading towards the kitchen. She ran upstairs for a moment and came back down with the latest letter off Kara. Sat at the kitchen table, Lena slid her finger under the flap and tore open the envelope. Pulling out the paper, she gently unfolded it and smiled as she started to read.

 

 

_To Lena,_

_MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I wish I was there to celebrate with you! I can’t believe out of all of the firsts we’ve been through, we don’t get to spend our first Christmas together together. Obviously it still counts as a first, but I wish I could be there. I mean, I’m always wishing that, but like, even more as I’m writing this and thinking about Christmas. I hope you like your gifts – I know not all of them are expensive, and I can’t give you what you give me, but all of the knitted things I made myself, and the rest are things that I think you’ll like. I know you’d tell me it’s not about money if I said that to your face, so I thought I’d give you things where ‘it’s the thought that counts’._

_I’m not sure what’s going on between you and your mom as you’re reading this letter, but I feel like I should apologize, because she’s at your house. I know this because I told my mom to invite her, and I know I shouldn’t involve myself in this, but you’re both too stubborn to make up. Or maybe (just this once) you’re not. Either way I’m sorry for going behind your back, and I hope you’re not mad about it, because you deserve a mom who loves you – well, two moms I guess, because Eliza loves you – and I truly think that Lillian does. She called me the other night, and she apologized for the things she said to you, and I think that was very big of her to take that step. I hope you can see that too._

_I don’t want to dwell too much on arguments, because it’s Christmas after all. I hope you’re getting into the Christmas spirit, and bought that tree I told you to get, because honestly, it’s just sad that you don’t decorate the apartment at Christmas. I’m happy that you’re going to my moms though, because it’s even sadder that you do work on Christmas – WHO WORKS ON CHRISTMAS?!?! I hope you had an amazing day though, I really do, because Christmas has always meant so much to me, and I want to share that with you, even if I’m not there. If Alex had anything to do with it, I’m sure you feel like you’re in Santa’s workshop, and all I can say to that is just wait until next year. I think Maggie almost had a heart attack last year when she spent her first Christmas with us, but we just love the holidays so much!  But what I love more than the holidays is you, and I hope you feel extra loved today, surrounded by people who love you._

_And I do love you. More than anything. And I miss you too. More than anything._

_Lots of love,_

_Kara xxxxxxxxxxxx_

            Lena laughed at the absurd amount of kisses at the end of the letter, and she wiped her eyes, which were wet with unshed tears. Eliza walked into the kitchen as Lena was doing this, and gave her a small smile, dumping her coffee cup in the sink and walking over. “You okay, sweetheart?” she asked, cupping Lena’s face in her hands and raising her head.

 

            “Yeah. Yeah, I’m good,” Lena told her. “Thank you, Eliza. For everything.”

 

            “You’re welcome, honey,” Eliza said, bending down and pressing a kiss to Lena’s forehead. “Anything for one of my girls.” Lena gratefully smiled up at her, before standing up and letting Eliza wrap her in a tight hug. After they pulled apart, they returned to the living room, and everyone decided it was time for bed.

 

            Upstairs, Lena quickly changed into her pyjamas, and slipped under the covers, patiently waiting for her mom to come in and switch the light off so that she could go to sleep. A few minutes later, Lillian came in wearing her own pyjamas, and switched the light off before getting into bed next to Lena. There was an awkward pause for a moment as they both lay there in silence.

 

            “Goodnight,” Lillian said.

 

            “Yeah … goodnight, mom,” Lena murmured, rolling onto her side so that she was facing the wall.

 

\---

 

            It was still dark when Lena bolted upright, shaking away the nightmare as her heart pounded in her chest. Next to her, Lillian roused herself from her sleep, and realizing that Lena was sat up, shaking, she slowly reached out to touch Lena on the shoulder. “Hey, you’re okay. It was just a bad dream,” she whispered.

 

            Slowly, Lena settled back down on her pillows, pulling the quilt up to her chin as she tried to calm herself down. She flinched slightly at the unexpected touch of Lillian’s fingers gently stroking her hair as she murmured quiet reassuring things to Lena. It didn’t take long for Lena to fall back into an uneasy sleep. The next time she woke up, the sun was weakly shining through the window, and her mom was climbing out of bed.

 

            “Good morning,” Lena mumbled, sitting upright and rubbing her eyes.

 

            “How long have you been having nightmares?” Lillian asked, cutting straight to the chase. Lena shrugged, drawing her knees up to her chest as she curled into a little ball.

 

            “Since Kara went back – the first time,” Lena admitted.

 

            “Often?” Lillian asked, her eyebrows knitting together as she looked at Lena with concern.

 

            Shrugging again, Lena avoided looking at her mom. “Once or twice a week. I’ve, uh, well, I haven’t been sleeping well lately. Some nights I don’t sleep at all.”

 

            “I-, um, are you getting help for it?” Lillian asked hesitantly. “There’s no shame in taking sleeping pills.”

 

            “I don’t need sleeping pills, mom,” Lena scoffed. “I need my fiancé to come home. I’m fine, really. Just worried. And I’d prefer not to talk about it right now.”

 

            “I know you’re worried. You even said so last night,” Lillian said, smiling slightly. “I didn’t realize you still talked in your sleep.”

 

            “How come _everyone_ knows I talk in my sleep except for me,” Lena groaned.

 

            “I’m your mother, Lena, of course I know you talk in your sleep. You used to sleepwalk too, until you were sixteen. You’d come downstairs and tell me some vaguely terrifying story. It was oddly amusing,” Lillian said, frowning slightly, even as a smile played at the corner of her lips. “Did you really not know?”

 

            “No!” Lena exclaimed, blushing slightly. “Kara told me a couple of months ago.”

 

            “Well, I guess some things never change,” Lillian mused. She slipped out of the bedroom, leaving Lena sat in bed alone with her thoughts. Some things never changed, but Lena couldn’t help but think about how much had.


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so thanks for your opinions on whether or not I should drag it out. I thought you would be getting bored by now so I was going to move my timeline up, but you all said you weren't so I guess I'll stick to my original plan, so it's going to be longer. I'll still be doing daily updates, so that won't change either.

            It was the day before New Year’s Eve and Lena was sat in her office talking to Kara.

 

 _“What time is your mom going to be here?”_ Kara asked.

 

            “I don’t know, like another hour or two,” Lena shrugged, sighing at the thought of their therapy session. Lillian was also staying in town for a few days, and Lena had extended an invitation for her to stay at her apartment.

 

 _“Don’t sigh, Lena, this is a good thing,”_ Kara berated her and Lena rolled her eyes, causing Kara to laugh. _“I might not be there but you do know I can see you rolling your eyes, right?”_

 

            “Sorry. I know it’s a good thing, but I just _know_ she’s going to bring up things that I told her over Christmas. Like, I’m fine with telling her things if she wants to know more about my life, but I don’t want that dragged into therapy too,” Lena said, sighing again.

 

 _“You know, for someone who was trying to convince me to go to therapy when I get home, you’re not really selling it to me,”_ Kara said, giving Lena a look of amusement.

 

            “That’s because you’d go by yourself, which isn’t very fun either, but at least there’s no bickering over the time you stole something, got suspended from school and had it all blamed on being an attention seeker,” Lena told her, grimacing at the memory. “Like, it wasn’t even relevant to the session.”

 

 _“Lena Luthor, you used to steal things?!”_ Kara exclaimed, and Lena gave her a sheepish smile as she shrugged innocently.

 

            “In my defence, it kind of _was_ for attention, and it was only a parrot that one of the nuns owned, so it wasn’t really stealing, it was more like borrowing,” Lena explained. “It took them a week to find it in my room and only because I accidentally taught it to say ‘fuck off’ and it decided to say it when my room was being searched.”

 

 _“Lena!”_ Kara exclaimed, laughing. _“I don’t even know where to begin with that sentence.”_ Lena laughed while Kara shook her head, giving her an exasperated look.

 

            “So I can’t wait to find out what fun things from my past are going to be brought up today,” Lena said sarcastically.

 

 _“Oh come on, surely it’s not that bad. I know you, and I know if you hated it that much you wouldn’t have gone back to the second session,”_ Kara said.

 

            “I mean, yeah, you’re right, but it’s sooo much effort,” Lena grumbled. “Like we have to talk so much and then we have to get dinner after and we talk then too. Talking is exhausting. I almost miss having no one to talk to. And I said _almost_ , because I'm obviously just being dramatic, so let me have this one.”

 

 _“I got that. Any other dramatic things you want to get off your chest right now?”_ Kara asked, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

 

            “Yeah, and another thing – can’t you just shoot yourself and come home? Like I get that you _have_ to be there, but not if you’re injured. Like what the fuck, Kara, just shoot yourself in the foot. Why haven’t you done this sooner?” Lena said as she laughed.

 

 _“You’re right! Why didn’t I think of that? I mean, it’ll take like the rest of the time I’m supposed to be over here to heal, and then I won’t have to go back. You really are a genius,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “Or I have another idea. Say if I was to get stabbed again, would that work? I can walk around the city at like four in the morning, wear my entire jewelry collection. I’d be worth more than a bank,” Lena said, arching an eyebrow suggestively.

 

 _“Hm, I think I’ll take the opportunity to take a bullet for you, just so I can seem super brave,”_ Kara said, frowning as she plastered a thoughtful expression on her face.

 

            Lena quietly laughed, shaking her head as she gazed lovingly at Kara. “I miss you, you dork.”

 

 _“I miss you too,”_ Kara said, giving her a sad smile. _“And for the record, I would totally shoot myself in the foot for you. Just so you know.”_

 

            “I’m very honoured and slightly concerned. And you say I’m the reckless one with crazy ideas,” Lena said. “I’m almost worried about what you get up to over there that’s _not_ part of your job.”

 

 _“Please. I’m the one with common sense in this relationship,”_ Kara scoffed.

 

            “ _You?”_ Lena spluttered. “I think you mean I am. I’m a certified genius, Kara. I know everything.”

 

 _“Lena, sweetie, you antagonized someone who was trying to mug you and you got stabbed,”_ Kara laughed incredulously. _“You might be a huge nerd and the smartest person I know, but you don’t have a lot of common sense.”_ Lena opened her mouth to protest, but then after a moment of consideration, shut it again and gave Kara a helpless shrug as she agreed.

 

            “Oh! Right! I forgot to tell you!” Lena suddenly exclaimed. “My mom offered to give you a job when you get back. I told her how super smart you are and she said you could join her in her research, and I told her I’d talk to you about it. It’s probably a little weird, but if you want to do it then you should.”

 

 _“Her cancer research?”_ Kara asked, blinking in surprise.

 

            “Mhm. I don’t really know what position she had in mind, but yeah, I guess you could talk to her about it when you get back and feel up to working again,” Lena said, smiling slightly.

 

 _“That sounds great! I’d love to help her with that. I mean, I guess I’ll wait and see, but it sounds good!”_ Kara said, smiling brightly at Lena.

 

            “Good. I’ll let her know then,” Lena told her. “Obviously you can take as long as you need to sort things out. You know, go to therapy if you decide you want to, or if you want to move in straight away then that’ll obviously take some getting used to. So yeah, I’ll tell her you’ll give her a call when you’re ready.”

 

_“Of course I want to move in straight away. I already told you, we’ve wasted too much time being apart already. Besides, by the looks of things, you’ve already stolen like half of my clothes.”_

 

            Lena laughed, looking down at one of Kara’s shirts that she was wearing. “Sorry, they’re just a lot more comfortable than mine. And well, the ones I haven’t worn yet still smell like you.”

 

 _“Don’t apologize – I, uh, well, I like seeing you in my clothes. As embarrassing as it sounds, when we first met and I used to bring you some of my clothes, I’d pick the ones that would make your eyes look the nicest,”_ Kara said, blushing slightly.

 

            Lena let out a burst of laughter, shaking her head as she grinned at Kara. “You know, I had a sneaking suspicion about that. There were too many green tones for it to be a coincidence.”

 

 _“And I thought I was being so sneaky about it,”_ Kara sighed. _“You do have really beautiful eyes though. And the rest of you. Call me shallow, but that’s why I picked your table that day.”_

            “Please, you’re the least shallow person I know. But I’m glad if you _were_ being shallow just this once,” Lena smiled. “And I hope you don’t mind if I say that I was being extremely shallow too, because I said yes, and we both know I wasn’t the kind of person to say yes to strangers invading my space.”

 

 _“Well I’m glad I was the exception,”_ Kara smiled brightly, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she gazed lovingly at Lena. _“Can you imagine if you’d said no?”_

 

            “No,” Lena said quietly. “No, I can’t.”

 

 _“Good, I’d hate to think that I hadn’t made much of an impact on your life,”_ Kara said, giving Lena a knowing look.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes, giving Kara a wry smile. “It’s not like you’ve changed my entire life or anything, right?” They both laughed, and Kara broke off with a wide yawn.

 

 _“Sorry, excuse me,”_ she said, quickly blinking a few times.

 

            “I’ve kept you up too late,” Lena sighed. “Go on, time for bed. I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”

 

 _“Can’t we just talk for five more minutes?”_ Kara asked, a hopeful look on her face.

 

            “You’re practically falling asleep,” Lena pointed out. “Come on, get to bed, sergeant.” Grumbling, Kara agreed reluctantly.

 

 _“Fine. I love you,”_ Kara told her.

 

            “I love you too,” Lena said. “Sweet dreams, Kara.” Hanging up, Lena looked down at her watch, realizing she still had a lot of time left before she had to meet her mom. Staring at the photo on her desk, Lena decided she may as well write Kara another letter while she waited. Pulling out a fresh piece of paper, Lena hesitated as she tried thinking of something to write – it had only been a couple of days since she’d sent the last one.

 

 

_To Kara,_

_I’m trying to be patient, really, I am, but time is moving so slow. We’re almost halfway through this but the end feels so far away, and it feels like only yesterday that I saw you, but at the same time it feels like forever since I held you in my arms. You know, sometimes I forget you’re not actually here. How sad is that? We talk almost every day, and your letters and your photos, and spending time with your family – it all makes me forget that you’re not here. At dinner with Alex and Maggie, I feel like you’re going to rush in and apologise for being late and claim that fourth empty chair, or at night I’ll wake up and reach out for you sometimes. It seems stupid to think that after all this time I’m still not used to being away from you, and even worse to think that it literally took me a moment to get used to having you. I think that’s the worst part – that I was okay being alone, and then everything went from zero to a hundred so fast that I couldn’t imagine being without you and then I had to be._

_There’s no point dwelling on the bad things though, because we’re almost halfway! I don’t think I’ve ever looked forward to something so much in my entire life. I’m a little bit upset that we’re going to miss so many milestones – including your birthday and the day we first met – but when you get back I’m going to make sure we celebrate everything we missed. We can have a date night that’s Christmas, New Year, your birthday and Valentine’s Day all wrapped into one. I’m not sure how that would work, but I’ll make it happen. After all, these are all firsts for me, or they’re firsts with you, which are just as important. See? I’m being positive. So many things to look forward to, and I can’t wait to do them all with you._

_I just got off the phone with you before starting to write this and you asked if I could ever imagine not meeting you, and I said no. That’s not true, because I can imagine it, or more specifically, I’ve already lived that life. Without you I was alone and closed off to the world, and it’s strange how one person can have such a big impact on someone’s life. It’s times like this where I think about the butterfly effect – and I guess you were my butterfly (sorry, that sounds kind of strange, but it’s true.) You were the thing that triggered a series of events that altered my entire life. I like to think that without you I wouldn’t have always been alone, and I know my mom would’ve reached out to me, but the truth is that things wouldn’t have worked out the way they have now. I would’ve pushed them all away eventually. With you though, you were what I needed, and what I wanted, and I never once wanted what we have to end. You’re perfect, Kara. You’re the one part of my life that I’ve never doubted, even when we’ve been through enough things that have made us doubt where things were headed. No matter what, I’m completely sure of us. I just want you to know that._

_I love you, always._

_Lena x_

            After finishing the letter, Lena got up and went to get dressed, before donning her coat, scarf and hat and taking Athena out for a quick walk. She’d taken to walking a lot lately, finding that walking around the block helped her think better – especially before therapy. As helpful as she found it, sometimes it was a struggle to reign in her temper when Lillian made a comment that was the exact opposite of how Lena felt. Lena was trying not to mess things up again. Returning back to the apartment, Lena unclipped Athena’s leash, and gave her a dog treat before picking up her bag and leaving again. It was time to meet her mom.

 

\---

 

            “Well of course I was happy to spend Christmas together. It’s been seven years since we last did, and it really meant a lot to me,” Lillian said, glancing over at Lena, who was closely watching her mom.

 

            “And Lena, how was Christmas for you?” Megan asked, and Lena shrugged half-heartedly.

 

            “Good. It, uh, it was the best Christmas I’ve ever had,” Lena admitted, her eyes flickering to Lillian’s for a moment. “It-, um, I’m glad my mom was there.”

 

            “You used to spend Christmas with your mom as a child, correct? But there was a seven-year gap. Why do you think that was?” Megan asked, leaning forward slightly.

 

            “Well, I-, uh, Christmas was never … good. Things got worse between us as I got older, and so when I finished high school and moved out, I stopped coming,” Lena said, looking at Lillian.

 

            “How was this time of year for you, Lillian?”

 

            Lillian sighed, giving Lena a grim smile. “It was hard. It upset me to not have her there, especially when Lex … died. I spent two years alone, and it hurt me to think that I’d done this to myself. That I’d pushed Lena away.”

 

            “But I didn’t want to stay anyway,” Lena pointed out. “That first year I didn’t show up, you begged me to come, and I didn’t. I-, well, it never really felt like Christmas to me. I knew that from when I was old enough to realize that things weren’t good in our family. Dad would never show up – he’d be overseas or at the office all day – and of course, my brother and I would get spoilt, but it was never really about family. I guess this year it really was, it was nice.”

 

            The conversation carried on like that, with both of them explaining how Christmas had been for them. It was all fine until Lillian brought up Lena’s nightmares and lack of sleep, and then things got tense. Lena’s defences shot up instantly and she felt her irritation growing as Megan tried to get her to open up about it.

 

            “I don’t want to talk about that right now,” Lena said firmly.

 

            “It’ll be good for you to talk about it,” Lillian said encouragingly, resting a hand on Lena’s arm. Pulling her arm away from her mom, Lena shot her a dark look.

 

            “Well I don’t want to,” Lena said, crossing her arms over her chest.

 

            “Then why are you here?” Lillian exclaimed, giving Lena an exasperated look. Lena sat there in silence for a moment, before picking up her bag and walking out, ignoring Lillian trying to call her back, and Megan telling Lillian to let her go. Walking outside, Lena was met with the freezing cold, and she stood on the sidewalk, letting the wind bite at her exposed cheeks, turning them red. Closing her eyes, Lena took a deep breath of the cold air, taking a moment to clear her head before turning around and walking back inside.

 

            The door was still left wide open – and invitation for her to come back if she wanted to – and Lena slipped back in and sat back down next to Lillian. She put her bag down and looked down at her hands. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

 

            She glanced up for a second and Megan gave her a nod. “Shall we continue?” At Lena’s nod, they carried on the conversation that Lena had walked back into.

 

            The rest of the session progressed without any further incidents, and Lena slowly let her walls back down and rejoined the conversation. They didn’t bring up the nightmares again though, and Lena was relieved – she was wrong to have behaved so rashly, and yes, childishly, but that didn’t mean she was going to talk about it. She did talk about other things though, more about Christmas and about the past, and perhaps it was _because_ she had walked out, but Lena was more willing to discuss those things than she usually would’ve been.

 

            At dinner, Lena sat in her seat, brimming with tension and unease as she waited for Lillian to bring up her behavior and scold her like she was a child – and perhaps she deserved it a little, but Lena was already sorry for doing it. Lillian looked up from her menu as she spoke. “The duck sounds nice,” she said, frowning slightly as she took in Lena’s rigid body and tense expression. “What’s wrong?”

 

            “Just get it over with,” Lena sighed, closing her eyes.

 

            “What? Oh,” Lillian said, realizing what Lena meant. “Lena, you’re not a child. You had every right to be angry that I was pushing you. What matters is that you came back, which was surprising. Thank you, and I’m sorry for trying to force you to talk about these things. I was trying to help, really.”

 

            Lena’s eyes flew open in surprise as Lillian spoke – this was the exact opposite of what she’d been expecting. “Oh … well then, the duck does sound nice,” Lena said, as the corners of her mouth turned up slightly.

 

            The rest of the meal passed by with the two of them happily talking about whatever came to mind. Lena felt less guarded around her mom now, knowing that she could talk about the most trivial things and Lillian truly sounded interested to hear about them. It hadn’t even been a week since Christmas, but Lena found herself calling her mom a few times since then, just to talk about her day, and she had to admit that it was a nice feeling to have a normal relationship with Lillian. Afterwards, they went straight back to Lena’s, and drank coffee in front of the TV as they both did their work. As it got late, Lillian announced that she was going to bed, and ordered Lena to do the same, and rather than arguing, Lena listened. It took a while for sleep to come, and while she didn’t have any nightmares, she slept restlessly.

 

\---

 

            The four girls were dressed up for Roulette’s Gatsby New Years party, and they walked to the front of the queue and were immediately let inside. Jess and Maggie went to the bar to order them drinks, while Lena and Alex looked around for Roulette. They spotted her talking to a man, and made their way over, and as they got closer, Lena realized she knew the man.

 

            “Jack Spheer?” Lena said with shock, taking in the familiar face.

 

            “Ah, Lena, Alex. You’re here. Nice costumes,” Roulette said with approval, giving them both a wide smile. “Where are Maggie and Jess? Getting into trouble already?”

 

            “Getting drinks. The trouble will come later,” Alex laughed.

 

            “Lena Luthor,” Jack said, giving her a slightly shocked expression as he ignored the conversation going on and leant in to give her cheek a quick kiss. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

 

            “London, I believe. At the tech expo last year,” Lena said.

 

            “So you two know each other, huh?” Roulette asked.

 

            Lena nodded, eyeing Jack warily. “Mhm. We went to MIT together.”

 

            “I was never in her league though; intelligence or relationship wise. This one broke my heart,” Jack said, laughing as he looked at Lena, who rolled her eyes. “I guess I wasn’t exactly what you were looking for. Although, a little bird, by which I mean the tabloids, tell me that you’ve found the one, huh?”

 

            “Yeah, uh, I have,” Lena said, giving him a small smile.

 

            “Hey, congrats. I’m happy for you,” Jack said. “Is she here tonight? I’d love to meet her. The girl who managed to catch Lena Luthor’s eye, now that’s an achievement.”

 

            “Uh, no, she’s in Afghanistan at the moment actually. Military,” Lena explained. “This is her sister though. Alex. Alex, this is Jack.” As Maggie and Jess walked over with their drinks, Lena introduced them to, and the six of them stood around chatting. Lena had forgotten how much she liked Jack, he’d always respected her desire to keep people at a distance, and they’d gotten along well while they were in college together. It was nice to be here with old friends, and Lena was enjoying the party more than she thought she would. Of course, she should never have doubted Roulette’s ability to throw a good party, especially a New Years Ever party.

 

            As the night wore on, everyone started getting a little tipsy as they danced and drank, and by the time it was almost midnight, they were all extremely drunk, having made up for lost time. As the countdown began, Lena smiled sadly, thinking about how it was already the new year in Afghanistan, and how much she wished that Kara at this party instead. As the clock ticked over to the first of January, everyone erupted into cheers, sending drinks flying and giving kisses all around. Lena stared down at her phone screen, smiling at the photo of Kara on her screen. She staggered off balance as Maggie barreled into her, giving her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

 

            “Happy new year,” she yelled to Lena, “here, have a shot to take your mind off her.”

 

            Lena laughed and took the drink off Maggie, clinking their glasses together before knocking the shot back. “Happy new year,” she said to Maggie, smiling at her.

 

            She found Alex, and then Jess, Roulette and even Jack, and repeated the process of wishing them all a happy new year, and Lena suspected that they were all conspiring against her because each of them offered her a shot, which she obliging drank. It wasn’t that she was being miserable because Kara wasn’t here, but she knew she would’ve been having more fun if Kara _was_ here. Trying to enjoy herself though, Lena let an extremely drunk Alex drag her onto the dance floor, and they spent the next couple of hours getting drunker and dancing until they could barely stand.

 

            It was four o’clock before they decided to leave the bar, which was still packed with people. Roulette came with the four girls, deciding to ditch her party for what she called the better company of her friends, and she snagged a bottle of scotch and vodka before the five of them staggered through the casino and out into the street.

 

            And that was where the trouble started.

 

            Trying to be inconspicuous, they took turns sneakily drinking alcohol as they walked the streets, and came to a halt as they came upon a McDonald’s and Maggie let out a shout of excitement. “I’m fucking starving. I’m getting fries,” she proclaimed, leading everyone inside. They were all swaying on their feet, and Lena, who was only slightly less drunk than the others, went to order with Jess and Alex. She drunkenly slurred out a few things and shoved a handful of bills into the cashier’s hand, leaving him to figure out what she wanted.

 

            Walking over to Maggie and Roulette, who were giggling outside near the Ronald McDonald statue, Lena took the vodka off them and took a sip. “What’s so funny?” she asked as they carried on laughing, feeling like she was missing the joke.

 

            “Shh,” Maggie laughed, lurching towards Lena. “We’re stealing the fucking clown.” Lena, who was halfway through taking another sip of vodka, spat out her mouthful as she started laughing. Together the three of them shifted the statue slightly, giggling as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

 

            Lena turned and walked inside to tell Alex and Jess to get ready to run, when the guy handed Alex a bag piled high with food. Alex thanked him as she took the bag, and at that exact moment, Jess yanked the cap off the guy’s head and vomited into it, while Lena, Alex and the cashier stared in horror. It was then that a burst of loud laughter erupted outside and Lena started laughing as she saw Maggie overbalance as she lifted the statue, while Roulette roared with laughter. The guy looked at the cap full of vomit as Jess handed it back to him, then to the three girls in front of him, and then at the two girls outside with the stolen Ronald McDonald statue.

 

            “Sorry,” Lena said, grabbing Alex and Jess by the hand. “Run.”

 

            The three of them bolted to the door, hitting the sidewalk and bolting down the street. Lena stopped and took her shoes off, clutching them in one hand while she grabbed the other end of Ronald McDonald and awkwardly helped Maggie carry it as they ran. There was an angry yell behind them as the manager burst out of the McDonald’s store and the five girls laughed hysterically as they made off with the statue.

 

            “Oh fuck, he’s gaining on us,” Lena breathlessly laughed, quickly looking over her shoulder at the man chasing them.

 

            “Why did you have to steal the fucking statue?” Alex yelled as she led the group of them down the street.

 

            “I don’t feel so good,” Jess complained, staggering along as she tried to keep up with everyone.

 

            “Jess, I swear to fucking god, if you’re sick again I’m firing you,” Lena yelled at her.

 

            “Yes Miss Luthor,” Jess groaned.

 

            “Quick, to the zoo!” Maggie said, noticing the approaching park that housed the National City zoo.

 

            “Maggie we’re not breaking into the fucking zoo!” Alex shouted, even as she made her way straight towards it. The five of them quickly came upon the low walls of the zoo, and after hefting Ronald McDonald over the wall, they quickly helped boost and pull one another into the zoo. Quietly laughing, the five of them collapsed onto the patch of grass they stood on and dug into the McDonald’s that Alex carried while they passed around the scotch and vodka.

 

            “Remind you of old times, Luthor?” Roulette asked with a smirk.

 

            “I was just thinking that, Ronnie,” Lena said, laughing as she flopped back onto the grass.

 

            “Just to make you even more nostalgic, here’s a dare for you; climb into the nearest enclosure,” Roulette said with a laugh.

 

            “No! No, you are not doing that!” Jess said, even as her Alex encouraged Lena. Laughing, Lena staggered to her feet and stumbled over to the nearest enclosure, while the four girls trailed after her, with the statue in tow. Lena let out a gasp as she saw the otter enclosure.

 

            “Oh I love this one! Kara brought me here to hold hands with them! And then she held my hand, it was really cute,” Lena said, sighing as she touched the locket around her neck that housed the photo of Kara.

 

            “Okay, no need to get sentimental on us, what is this? A fucking Nicholas Sparks novel?” Maggie scoffed, she took Lena’s purse off her and jerked her head towards the giant tank of water. “In.”

 

            Laughing, Lena hoisted herself up onto the edge of the enclosure, and swung her legs around so she was hovering over it. “I don’t think I-“ She didn’t even have time to finish her sentence before Maggie pushed her in and she was dunked under water. A moment later she came up spluttering while the other four girls laughed.

 

            “Where are they? Do you think they’re sleeping?” Lena asked, looking around for the otters. “Do you think Kara would like one as a pet?”

 

            “What’re you going to do? Steal a fucking otter?” Roulette asked. It was at that moment that one of the floodlights overhead turned on and two police officers came over with their guns drawn and flashlights shining on them.

 

            “Nobody move!” they yelled. “Everyone put your hands up. Fun’s over ladies.” Lena groaned as she pulled herself over to the edge of the tank, resting her chin on the edge of the enclosure as she watched one of the officer’s handcuff Roulette while the other talked into his radio.

 

  “Yeah, we’re all good here, we’ve got a breaking and entering, some drinking and … is that a Ronald McDonald statue?” the officer said, losing his trail of thought as he caught sight of the statue.

 

            “Jesus, you girls were having fun, huh?” the other office said, laughing as she turned to cuff Maggie. She blinked in surprise as she took in Maggie’s appearance. “Detective Sawyer?”

 

            “Officer Diaz?” Maggie said, looking taken aback as she took in the sight of the woman. “Hey Alex, this is Diaz, the one I work with.”

 

            “Sorry ma’am, I still have to cuff you,” the policewoman said, giving Maggie an apologetic shrug, before turning her around and bringing out her handcuffs. As she did Maggie, the other officer walked over to Jess, who took the moment to projectile vomit all over the front of his uniform. Lena let out a loud groan, and the woman looked up, blinking in surprise as she shone her torch right in Lena’s face. Wincing, Lena pushed away from the wall, splashing as she fell back into the water.

 

            “Hey! Ma’am, you need to get out of there. Now,” the woman said, and Lena went back over to the edge of the enclosure and hoisted herself up, protecting her eyes from the light with one hand. She half climbed and half fell over the side of the enclosure, landing on her feet and staggering forward. The policewoman yanked her upright by a shoulder and quickly pulled Lena’s hands behind her back, and Lena bit back a curse as her broken wrist protested at the movement. Quickly, the woman cuffed her and then the five of them stood in line, Lena dripping wet and shivering in the early morning winter, and they swayed on their feet while the other officer read them their rights.

 

            “I have a question,” Maggie said. “Can we keep Ronald?” The four other girls groaned in unison.

 

\---

 

            It was a short trip to the precinct, and as Maggie was marched in first, there was a round of laughter from her co-workers, and Maggie took a bow as she flashed her dimples at everyone. The other four girls were in a less cheerful mood, especially Lena who was still soaked, and Jess who looked slightly green under the fluorescent lights of the precinct. The five of them were placed in a holding cell, and they all sat down on the benches.

 

            “I didn’t even get to finish my fries,” Maggie said regretfully, leaning her head on Alex’s shoulder as they all made themselves comfortable.

 

            “Maggie, I swear to god, I’m going to fucking kill you,” Alex muttered, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the wall.

 

            “I’m never drinking with you again,” Lena mumbled. “I know I said that last time, but honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you.”

 

            Roulette bit back a smile as she looked at Lena through half-closed eyes. “I feel like this one is on me.”

 

            “Fuck!” Jess shouted after a moment, and Lena looked at her in shock, before dissolving into a fit of laughter. A second later and the five of them were crying with laughter as they took in the absurdity of the situation.

 

            It was almost an hour later before Maggie’s Captain walked in and gave her a stern look. Climbing to her feet she sighed wearily and was led out of the holding cell, and Lena didn’t envy the telling off she was about to get. It was almost forty minutes later that Maggie was brought back, and she gave the four of them an apologetic look, her eyes resting on Lena.

 

            “We’re, um, free to go. No charges will be pressed, but we have to, uh, return the statue … and pay for any damage we might’ve caused at the zoo,” Maggie explained, slurring slightly as she sagged against the bars of the cage. “I’m sorry.”

 

            Lena’s eyebrows knit together in confusion at Maggie’s apology – the blame wasn’t all on her, they’d all got themselves into this situation – and then Lillian rounded the corner and Lena looked at Maggie in horror. “Oh fuck. You called my fucking mom?” Lena swore, squeezing her eyes shut and leaning her head back against the wall as she groaned.

 

            “Thank you,” Lillian muttered as an officer opened the gate and let her into the cell.

 

            “Mom, I ca-“ Lena started.

 

            “Lena, just don’t,” Lillian snapped. “Do _not_ say another word.”

 

            Maggie pushed herself off the bars and cleared her throat slightly. “Lillian, it wasn’t her fault, really. It was mine.”

 

            Lillian faced Maggie and glared at her. “You, sit down,” she barked, and Maggie’s eyes went wide and she obeyed immediately, stumbling over to the bench and sitting back down next to Alex. The five of them waited nervously for Lillian to say something as they watched her pace back and forth, and Lena grew tenser by the moment.

 

            “I don’t even know where to begin!” Lillian yelled. “I just-, what were you thinking?! Were you thinking at all? There’s five of you and not _one_ of you thought this was a bad idea? I just got a phone call at five o’clock in the morning telling me I need to come down to the precinct because my _daughter_ has been arrested! Do you know how many strings I had to pull to keep all five of you out of jail?! I should’ve left you in here to teach you a lesson. Honestly, Lena, what were you _thinking_? Stealing a Ronald McDonald statue? Breaking and entering into the _zoo_?  JUMPING INTO ONE OF THE FUCKING ENCLOSURES? Did I not raise your better than this? I don’t know where I went wrong, I really don’t. I thought you were past such childish behaviours. And you, Alex Danvers, don’t think your mom won’t be hearing about this. I’m calling her as soon as we get home, and she’ll be hearing about you too, Maggie Sawyer, so don’t think you’re getting away with it that easily. I’m surprised you still have a _job_ after this! And _you_ , you’re lucky it’s my daughter running the business, because if you were my assistant I’d sack you straight on the spot. And Veronica Sinclair! Why am I not surprised you’re involved? I thought I was through with this the day you two graduated high school, but I see you’re back to your usual childish games. Well you can do what you want with your own business, but keep my daughter out of it. ALL FIVE OF YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES! I’ve never heard of such behavior in all my life, and I thought I’d seen everything from you, Lena. I’m so disappointed, I can’t-, I-. Do you have _any_ common sense?! Just wait until Kara hears about this. AND I SWEAR TO GOD LENA LUTHOR, YOU BETTER HOPE THE PRESS DOESN’T HEAR ABOUT THIS OR YOU CAN KISS THE COMPANY GOODBYE. Now, you three have two minutes to get yourselves outside and into the car, and you two better vanish before I get them to press charges anyway.”

 

            All five of them sat there looking ashamed, and they all climbed to their feet unsteadily, lurching side to side as they staggered after Lillian, who marched out of the cell without another word. The sun was already rising when they got outside, and the wind tore through their flimsy outfits, causing them to shiver as they followed Lillian over to the car. Roulette and Jess didn’t say a word as they parted ways with the other three girls – they just grimaced at each other and went in opposite direction. The car ride home was silent, and Lena stared down at the soggy cast encasing her right hand, feeling like now would be a bad time to bring up the fact that she should go to the hospital and get a new one.

 

            Once inside, Lillian walked straight down one of the hallways and disappeared into the bedroom she was staying in, without saying a word to the girls. Lena, Alex and Maggie all exchanged a wide-eyed look with each other and Lena jerked her head in the direction of her room. Silently, the three of them made their way down the hallway and walked into Lena’s room. Stripping off their dresses, Lena got them all clean pyjamas to wear and without a word, they all collapsed onto her bed and fell fast asleep.

 

            They were going to be in a lot of trouble when they woke up later.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the quick update - I'm about to go out and get pissed and I didn't want to break my daily streak. Hopefully my night doesn't end the way theirs did last chapter lmao. Enjoy!

            It was midday when Lena groaned, keeping her eyes shut together as she rolled over. She rolled on top of something squishy and Maggie gave her a shove, mumbling a few swear words at her. Sitting up, Lena half opened her eyes, wincing at the bright light streaming in through the window. Shifting slightly, she rubbed at her face, before noticing the state of her soggy cast, and then everything came flooding back to her.

 

            “Oh fuck!” She swore, and Alex and Maggie both opened their eyes, frowning up at Lena who looked like she was about to throw up.

 

            “Shut the fuck up, Luthor,” Maggie grumbled, grabbing a pillow and jamming it over her head.

 

            “Oh god, my mom’s going to kill me,” Lena said, giving Alex a look of horror.

 

            “Well you go and deal with that, I’m going back to sleep,” Maggie said, her voice slightly muffled by the pillow. “Some tips for you; try not to punch anymore walls – I don’t think you fist can take much more – and keep your voice down because I’m sleeping.”

 

            “Fuck you,” Lena swore, climbing over her so that she could get out of bed, and purposely falling on top of her to squash the smaller girl. She staggered out into the hallway while Maggie’s muffled curses followed her, and Alex followed at a slower pace. Lena gingerly peeked around the end of the hallway, trying to see if her mom was around, and was met with Lillian sat on one of the kitchen stools, staring straight at Lena with raised eyebrows.

 

            “Good morning,” she said stiffly.

 

            “Mom, I can explain,” Lena said, walking into the kitchen and giving her mom a pleading look.

 

            “Go on then,” Lillian said, gesturing for Lena to continue.

 

            Lena blinked in surprise. “Oh … well I didn’t _actually_ think you were going to let me continue. I was kind of expecting you to just be angry and yell.”

 

            “Believe me, Lena Luthor, I am _beyond_ furious. I have never, _never_ , seen such behavior from fully grown women. Honestly, Lena, what were you thinking? You’re not a child anymore – you’re the CEO of a company and you should know better than that. You were raised bet-“ Lillian snapped.

 

            “See that’s where I don’t agree with you,” Lena said, cutting her off. “You didn’t raise me, mom. I was four when you adopted me, and then the nannies raised me, and then I was shipped off to boarding school. Anything you were supposed to teach me was taught by other people. I get that you’re trying to act like my mom – I respect that – but don’t try and tell me that you taught me better, because you didn’t.”

 

            Hurt flickered across Lillian’s face, and she opened her mouth to retort, when Alex flew out of the mouth of the hallway and vomited in the sink. Lena winced, closing her eyes as she listened to Alex throw up – her timing was just _perfect._ “Sorry,” Alex mumbled, giving them both an apologetic look as she wiped her mouth. “I’ll just … go.”

 

            “No, you can stay,” Lillian told her, giving her a look of disapproval. “I spoke to your mother. She’s not very happy with you either – or Maggie. I have to say, I thought the two of you would’ve known better than that, working in law enforcement. I wish I could say I’m surprised that you would act this way, Lena, but I’m not. I thought you would’ve grown up since high school though! God knows I had enough phone calls about you getting into trouble to last a lifetime!”

 

            “I’m sorry, Lillian. There’s no excuse, we were all out of line, but the blame isn’t all on Lena,” Alex said, giving her an apologetic look.

 

            “You’re right, there is no excuse,” Lillian said, frowning at her daughter before she turned her attention to Alex. “I’m not going to scold you, Alex – I’m not your mother and that’s not my place. But you … really, Lena. Three laws! You broke three laws! What idiotic thoughts were going through your mind?”

 

            “We were drunk, mom!” Lena protested, shrugging helplessly.

 

            Lillian shot her a dark look. “And that’s no excuse. Being drunk out of your mind doesn’t excuse your behaviours, and you better start taking responsibility for your actions. I don’t care if you hate me, someone has to put you in your place, and if you’re not going to start acting like an adult then I’ll treat you like a child. If you’re not going to take responsibility for yourself then you can’t run a business.”

 

            “What? Mom! I _know_ I was wrong,” Lena argued, her eyes widening with panic at the thought of losing her business. As never ending as the paperwork was, and the endless stream of business meetings, Lena loved her job and she loved her company. She’d put so much effort into rebranding it and rising from the ruin her brother had left behind. “You can’t take it away from me. I’m the CEO!”

 

            “For god’s sake Lena, don’t be so dramatic,” Lillian sighed, rolling her eyes. “I wasn’t actually being serious when I said I was going to take the company away from you – I was just mad. But, for the next two weeks you’re not setting foot inside that building or taking so much as one business call. You can sit here and reevaluate what’s really important to you.”

 

            “Are you grounding me?” Lena asked incredulously, looking shocked at the idea.

 

            “Yes. Two weeks. No work. And don’t even think of getting your assistant to help you get around this,” Lillian warned her, and Lena opened and closed her mouth a few times, before shutting it and crossing her arms over her chest as she sulked. She was surprised at the fact that her mom was punishing her, but she was also surprised at how lightly she’d gotten off. Lena had been ready for a fight, and possibly another goodbye to her mom. Instead she’d just had a stern talking to and slap on the wrist, and Lena wasn’t sure how to take it.

 

            “Fine,” she sighed, her shoulders dropping in defeat.

 

            Lillian pinched the bridge of her nose as all of the tension bled out of her. “Honestly, Lena. Do you have any idea how terrifying it was to have a call off the _police_ at five o’clock in the morning about my daughter? I thought they were going to tell me you were dead! I’ve never been so scared in my life. I honestly just-, you’re so infuriating! And reckless and stupid! I’m surprised I’m not grey yet! I thought I wouldn’t have to worry about you anymore if I was back in your life, but if anything I’m _more_ worried because I have to hear about all the ridiculous things you get up to.”

 

            “I’m sorry mom,” Lena apologized in a small voice. “Really, I am. I know what we did was wrong, and I don’t know why we did it, it seemed funny at the time but … I mean, it obviously wasn’t funny. And I-I’m sorry for, uh, bringing up how you raised me. I mean, I’m not wrong, but I know that that wasn’t the point you were trying to make. I’m sorry for worrying you and it won’t happen again.”

 

            “It better not, Lena Luthor, or next time I’ll let them press charges and let you deal with the consequences. Now, go and get dressed. I’m taking you to the hospital to get that bloody cast changed,” Lillian told her. Lena meekly ducked her head and walked back to her bedroom, where Maggie was still tucked in bed.

 

            “How bad is it?” Maggie whispered, and Lena cracked a smile.

 

            “Not as bad as I was expecting,” Lena quietly laughed. “I’m still killing you though. Why do I keep thinking it’s a good idea to drink with you?”

 

            “Because it is at the time. Admit it, you love being the bad girl,” Maggie laughed. “And so does Alex, and me too I guess. Jesus, Kara needs to come back. She’s like all of our fucking impulse control. I’m surprised one of us hasn’t died yet.”

 

            Lena laughed, shaking her head as she went into the bathroom. Her hair was a tangled mess and her makeup was running down her face from her dunk in the otter enclosure, and Lena groaned as she looked down at her feet, which were black with dirt from running through the city with no shoes on. Taking her time in the shower, Lena scrubbed herself clean, and feeling marginally better, she quickly got changed. There was no hope for her cast, and Lena hadn’t bothered to keep it dry as she showered so she quickly pulled the soggy mess of plaster and bandages off, being extra careful not to move her hand too much.

 

            She made her way back to the kitchen to find the three women drinking coffee and talking about last night, with Alex and Maggie looking slightly ashamed as they told Lillian the whole story. Lena was silent as she poured herself a cup of coffee and ran her fingers through her hair. Her phone started ringing in her purse, where she’d dropped it on the counter last night, and Lena groaned. There was no doubt that it was going to be Kara, and Lena wasn’t looking forward to another telling off. When she didn’t make a move to answer it, Lillian arched an eyebrow at her and reached for the purse.

 

 _“LENA LUTHOR WHAT WER-, oh, Lillian, hi. Sorry, I was expecting Lena,”_ Kara said, her anger quickly changing to surprise when she realized the wrong Luthor had answered the phone.

 

            “No, please, continue. Maybe she’ll listen to you,” Lillian said was an amused look, holding the phone out towards Lena. Quietly sighing, Lena accepted the phone and trained the camera on herself.

 

            “Hi darling, so befo-“

 

 _“LENA LUTHOR WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?”_ Kara yelled, jumping straight back into whatever lecture she had planned. _“AND YOU TOO, ALEX DANVERS AND MAGGIE SAWYER. ALL THREE OF YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES. JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL I GET BACK! YOU THREE ARE GOING TO BE IN BIG TROUBLE! THEFT, BREAKING AND ENTERING AND DRINKING IN A PUBLIC PLACE! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU, I’M SO DISAPPOINTED. JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL MOM GETS AHOLD OF YOU THREE!”_

 

            “My mom already gave us quite the telling off,” Lena said, her eyebrows raised slightly from Kara’s shouting.

 

_“Well get ready for a third one, because she’s not very happy with any of you. For god’s sake, Lena! How many times am I going to have to hear about the trouble the three of you have gotten yourself into? I have a job to do and instead I have to spend my time worrying about what my idiotic fiancé and sisters have gotten themselves into! You’re not in college anymore, all three of you need to grow up! First you start brawling in bars and now this! I didn’t have to deal with any of this the first time I left! If this is the result of you becoming closer, then I’m not allowing you to see each other again! You’re stupid and reckless and your mom should’ve left in jail to teach you a lesson! You can’t just break the law and then not deal with the consequences of your actions! I really can’t sympathise with you this time – all three of you are just, ugh! I’m so mad at you! I can’t believe you would do something like that! Ronald McDonald? Really? I don’t even have to ask whose idea that was, Maggie Sawyer. And you, Lena. Jumping into an animal enclosure! What was going through your mind? Alex, I don’t know what you did, but I’m sure you did something! Don’t you dare smile, Lena Luthor! It’s not funny!”_

 

            “I’m not laughing!” Lena interjected, biting back a smile as she tried to look innocent. The combined lectures off her mom and Kara had all three of them feeling guilty and ashamed, but Lena couldn’t help but think it was funny when Kara was shouting at them. Kara rambled a little while longer, and they all listened, exchanging looks of amusement. As she came to the end of her rant, she took a deep breath and waited expectantly.

 

            “I mean, you’re right,” Lena said, giving her a sheepish smile. “But no one got hurt this time … and I was going to get you one of the otters at the zoo.”

 

 _“LENA!”_ Kara yelled, scowling at her as Alex and Maggie snickered quietly behind Lena.

 

            “Okay, okay. Sorry for behaving like an idiot. We promise we won’t do it again. We were wrong, you were right. Any other cliché response to this,” Lena said, rolling her eyes.

 

            “Lena,” Lillian snapped, not finding it funny.

 

 _“Lena,”_ Kara growled, a warning in her voice. _“I’m not in the mood to deal with your sarcasm. You’re lucky I’m even talking to you right now. I’m pissed.”_

            “I know. I’m sorry though, really. I mean it. We won’t do it again,” Lena said, turning serious for a moment. “Um, happy new year, by the way.”

 

            There’s was a pause as Kara narrows her eyes slightly, her eyebrows drawn into a frown above her eyes. _“Thanks. You too.”_

 

            They talked for a while and Kara was slightly less angry by the time Lena hung up, feeling slightly guilty for worrying her when she was stuck with her own problems half a world away.

 

            “Well, I’d hate to be one of her soldiers,” Maggie said after a moment, and Lena shot her a dark look.

 

            “You know what, I’m not sure what all my reservations were for,” Lillian said, smiling at Lena slightly. “She’s clearly the only one out of the four of you with a brain.” Lena grumbled quietly, dumping the rest of her coffee into the sink and slipping her phone into her pocket.

 

            “You guys can stay and have breakfast and shower or whatever. We won’t be long,” Lena said, before going to fetch her coat.

 

\---

 

            This time they gave Lena a brace instead of a cast, deciding that, for the most part, her wrist was healed, and at least this way she wouldn’t be back _again_ for a new cast. Lillian sat next to the bed, looking on with disapproval while they fitted the brace to Lena’s wrist and sent her on her way again. Her mom was mostly silent on the drive home, and Lena felt like a little girl again, having been the subject of a number of Lillian’s silent treatments.

 

            Walking back into the apartment, Lena gave Athena a quick pat before making her way into the kitchen. She spotted Alex and Maggie sprawled in front of the TV, watching something on the history channel, and they turned to look at her as she walked in with her mom.

 

            “Hey, so my mom called. She wants to talk to you too,” Alex said hesitantly, wincing slightly at the memory of the telling off she must’ve got.

 

            “That bad, huh?” Lena asked, sighing slightly.

 

            Alex wrinkled her nose. “Oh you know, just threatened to drag me back to Midvale if I kept this up. How she’s disappointed. Never would’ve expected this from me. Kara would never do this. The usual.”

 

            “Jesus, no wonder you two get along so well,” Lena said, shooting Lillian a quick look. “I’m, uh, going to go and give her a call.” Disappearing into her bedroom, Lena scrolled through her contacts and hesitated before phoning Eliza. It rang four times before she picked up and Lena felt a lump form in her throat. She hated to disappoint Eliza.

 

_“Hello?”_

 

            “Um, hi, Eliza,” Lena said slowly.

 

 _“Are you okay?”_ Eliza asked, her voice full of concern.

 

            “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. I just-, I’m sorry. I know what we did was wrong,” Lena said quietly.

 

 _“Extremely wrong,”_ Eliza amended. _“I know you’re going through a rough time and you girls like to have fun together, but please, never do anything like that again.”_

            “I won’t, I promise,” Lena said. “I’m sorry for disappointing you, and making you mad.”

 

 _“You know I can never stay mad at you for long, no matter how idiotic you behave,”_ Eliza sighed, and Lena smiled slightly despite herself. _“You worried me, sweetheart. I already have to worry about one daughter, I don’t need to worry about all four!”_

            “I know,” Lena said, wincing slightly at the thought of adding to Eliza’s worry. “I’m sorry. We should’nt have been so childish, we just got carried away. I know that’s not a good enough excuse, but I really am sorry.”

 

 _“You’re lucky you were at the hospital, I’ve already worn myself out from yelling at Alex and Maggie,”_ Eliza laughed slightly. _“I have to get back to my patients. Just please, stay out of trouble, honey. If not for me and your mom, then for Kara.”_

 

            “I will. Sorry, Eliza,” Lena apologized again.

 

_“Okay, bye honey.”_

 

            Lena mumbled goodbye and hung up, before returning to the living room and giving Alex and Maggie a grim smile. She might’ve got off easy with Eliza, but she hated to think that she’d disappointed three people – and it didn’t help that Maggie thought it was all a big joke. As they sat in front of the TV, Lena texted Jess and Roulette to see if they were okay – and she had ulterior motives with Jess. Like hell was Lena going to twiddle her thumbs for two weeks while she let her work pile up. Her mom would be gone tomorrow and she would be too far away to check if Lena was at the office or not.

 

            Alex and Maggie ended up staying over all day, feeling too tired and hungover to move, and they ended up staying the night again. No one really said much for the rest of the day, as Lillian stayed in Lena’s office and worked on her research. The only time the three girls moved was when they ordered Indian for dinner and the delivery guy showed up.

 

            By the time Lena tucked herself into bed she felt a little better, and couldn’t help but laugh to herself as she thought about the state they had gotten into last night. It wasn’t really funny, they could’ve been in serious trouble, but she couldn’t deny that it had been the most exciting New Years of her life, and she certainly started the year off with a bang.

 

            She couldn’t wait to see how the rest of the year turned out.


	54. Chapter 54

            Lena was on her best behavior for the next two weeks, trying not to get herself in any more trouble so she didn’t add to Kara’s worry. She’d also gave Alex and Maggie a stern warning about getting into trouble – or rather, a stern warning about letting Kara _find out_ they had gotten into trouble. Lillian had left the day after they’d found themselves getting arrested, and Lena had waited until the next day to get back to work. Not taking Lillian’s punishment seriously, Lena had shown up at the office at her normal time and had made it all the way up to her office before she was cut off by Jess, who stood her ground as she refused to let Lena into her office. After a standoff that lasted a few minutes, Lena groaned in frustration and had left the office in a bad mood and hadn’t been back since.

 

            Lillian showed up twice for therapy, and Lena was slightly pissed that her mom had actually taken her company away from her for two weeks, which made for interesting post-therapy dinners. Lena couldn’t argue with her mom’s logic though – both of them had half-expected to find photos of Lena being handcuffed or leaving the police station in the news the following day, and Lillian was intent on keeping Lena out of the spotlight if that happened. When nothing came of it though, Lena became grouchy about being away from L-Corp, and spent most of her days secretly doing work from home that Jess unwillingly slipped her when they met up for game night.

 

            When Lena walked into L-Corp two weeks later, she was met by a guilty looking Jess, who held out a coffee and newspaper with an apologetic look on her face. Lena swapped her coat for the coffee, rolling her eyes at a nervous looking Jess. “Relax, Jess, I know you were just doing what my mother told you,” Lena said, accepting the newspaper, “and I don’t blame you. I think I’m the only person who never listened to her, purely because I knew it pissed her off.”

 

            “I’m really sorry though,” Jess apologized, stowing Lena’s coat away and picking up the tablet. “I hope it wasn’t too bad, being away from work. I know how much you hate it.”

 

            Lena laughed. “That sounds backwards doesn’t it? It was completely boring and I’m sick of shopping – although my wardrobe is probably thanking me. So, how much paperwork have I missed out on?”

 

            “I gave you as much as I could sneak out without your mom’s spies finding out, so there’s not as much as there could’ve been, but still a lot. It’s all waiting on your desk for you. I put the ones I think you’ll be most interested in at the top of the pile,” Jess told her. Lena was actually looking forward to the prospect of sitting behind her desk all day, reading pages of statistics, or schematics for new devices. Setting her coffee down, Lena smiled as she sat down and quickly picked up the first file, opening it to reveal plans for a new water filtration system that Lena was hoping to build to help countries in need.

 

            “Thanks, Jess,” Lena said as an afterthought, already lost in the plans. Completely absorbed in her work, it was ten o’clock before she so much as moved, and only then because the sound of her phone ringing shocked her out of her reading. Reaching to pull her phone out of her bag, Lena groaned slightly, feeling stiff from hours on minimum movements.

 

 _“Hello,”_ Lillian said as soon as Lena answered.

 

            “Mom,” Lena replied.

 

 _“Enjoying being back at work?”_ Lillian asked, sounding slightly amused.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes. “Yes, very much so. Thanks for asking.”

 

 _“Oh come on, Lena. I was doing you a favour. You spend far too much time at that place, and you needed to be taught a lesson. Privilege isn’t something you can use to shake off responsibilities,”_ Lillian told her.

 

            “Then how come you used it to get us all out of trouble?” Lena asked. “Sounds a bit contradictive to me.”

 

            Lillian scoffed and Lena could picture her mom rolling her eyes. _“Of course it’s contradictive! But I wasn’t going to let my daughter be charged for breaking three different laws for the sake of my morals. God knows it’s not the first time I’ve done it.”_

            “Thanks,” Lena begrudgingly said. “And I promise to not act like a privileged asshole next time.”

 

 _“Next time?”_ Lillian questioned, with a slight warning in her voice.

 

            “You know what I mean,” Lena huffed, and Lillian made a disapproving sound.

 

 _“Are you still mad at me?”_ Lillian asked, sounding amused.

 

            Lena paused for a moment, considering the question. “No, I guess not. I can understand your reasons, even if I don’t like being treated like a child.”

 

 _“Good,”_ Lillian said. _“Maybe next time you won’t act so childish then. I’m sure Kara will tell you the same thing.”_

 

            “Nice one, mom. Use my fiancé against me. I believe Megan would use the term triangulation if we were in therapy right now,” Lena said, teasing Lillian.

 

 _“Since when did you become a therapist?”_ Lillian scoffed.

 

            “Since you tried making me see one when I was fifteen, and the two years I saw one for myself,” Lena laughed. “I may have learnt a few things. Apparently I use avoidance as a defense mechanism - I don’t think anyone would’ve ever guessed that one.”

 

 _“I can’t imagine where they go that idea from,”_ Lillian laughed, and Lena smiled slightly. Who would’ve ever thought she’d be making jokes with her mom about things that had caused so many problems for them in the past.

 

            “Hey mom,” Lena said after a moment, hesitating slightly before she spoke.

 

 _“Yes? Is everything okay?”_ Lillian asked, all traces of humour vanishing from her voice.

 

            “Thanks for not giving up on me. I know I never made it easy for you, but thank you for fighting for me,” Lena said quietly, because her therapist had been right of course – she did use avoidance as a defence mechanism. She’d used it throughout her teens to avoid seeing her mom – after she’d given up on any hope of winning Lillian’s attention – and she’d used it since Lillian had come back begging Lena to let her make amends. Still, if Lillian hadn’t been so insistent, Lena knew without a doubt that they wouldn’t be here right now. For once she was grateful for her mom’s stubbornness – not that she’d ever admit it.

 

 _“I’ll never give up on you,”_ Lillian promised. _“You’re all I have.”_

 

            “Thanks mom,” Lena said in a small voice. She felt a flicker of happiness inside, and she smiled slightly.

 

 _“I, um, I’ve been thinking … I know I said that you should come and visit with Kara, but I miss you, Lena. I was thinking about you coming to visit with Alex and Maggie at some point. Just for the weekend or whenever you’re free,”_ Lillian said slowly.

 

            “Oh!” Lena exclaimed softly. She hadn’t given much thought to visiting her mom again, but as Lillian mentioned it, she didn’t think it was a bad idea. Especially if Alex and Maggie came with her. The only issue would _be_ Maggie, who would lose her mind over the Luthor’s estate, and it wasn’t like she needed any more reasons to tease Lena. “Yeah, that, uh, sounds great. I’ll speak to them about it and see if they want to come, but, um, if they don’t then I’ll just come anyway.”

 

 _“By yourself? Really?”_ Lillian asked, sounding surprised.

 

            “No need to sound so surprised, mom. I came by myself last time and things were … not as civil as they are now,” Lena said, laughing slighty at the memory of her and her mom arguing about the company. It felt so long ago, and it _had_ been months, but the people that they’d been then were very different to who they were with each other now.

 

 _“Right. Of course. Well I hope they can come, but I’m glad you’ll come either way,”_ Lillian said happily.

 

            “Well I’ll call you and let you know when as soon as everything gets sorted out,” Lena told her. “We’ll probably visit in the next few weeks, if that’s okay.”

 

 _“Any time you want to. I know you’re not overly fond of the place, but it used to be your home, Lena,”_ Lillian reminded her. _“You can visit any time you’d like to.”_

 

            “Right,” Lena said. “Um, well I should probably get back to work. I’ll see you Thursday?”

 

 _“Of course. Have a good day,”_ Lillian said, before pausing slightly. _“I love you.”_

 

            Lena blinked, hesitating slightly before replying. “Yeah, I love you too, mom.”

 

\---

 

            Lena finished her second business meeting of the day, and by that time it was midday. She was in a good mood after the success of the second meeting, and was looking forward to talking to Kara while she ate her lunch. Jess was just bringing in Lena’s salad when a notification popped up on Lena’s laptop for an incoming video call. With a wide smile, she immediately answered and patiently waited for the video to connect.

 

            As Kara’s face came on screen, Lena let out a loud exclamation of surprise. “KARA DANVERS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?”

 

            Looking sheepish, Kara gave Lena a helpless shrug, adjusting her glasses which did nothing to cover the huge black eye she was sporting. Her lip was split too, and Kara’s teeth worried at the cut as she stared at Lena. _“Okay so it wasn’t my fault,”_ Kara started, and Lena let out a bark of laughter.

 

            “Why does that sound familiar? Oh wait, because I said it and it _was_ my fault,” Lena said, raising her eyebrows at Kara. “What the fuck have you been doing? Are you okay? Just tell me you’re okay.”

 

 _“I’m fine, Lena. It, uh, it wasn’t from combat,”_ Kara said slowly.

 

            “No shit, Kara! I know what it looks like when someone gets punched in the face,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “What the fuck happened? Who have you been brawling with?”

 

 _“So there’s this soldier, and well, we’ve never really gotten along. We went through basic training together, and she’s always been kind of a bitch to me - I think she thought I liked Mike. Anyway, so she doesn’t like the fact that I’m a higher rank than her now, and she’s always trying to find ways to undermine me or ignore my orders. I have to yell at her like almost every day and I guess today was one time too many because instead of taking it like she’s supposed to, she swung at me,”_ Kara explained.

 

            “Kara Danvers! Wha-, I-, agh! Ooo, you are _so_ lucky I’m not there. Where is this bitch? I will kick her teeth in, I swear to god. How fucking _dare_ she lay a finger on you. What’s her name? I will literally fucking kill her and her entire family. Did you hit her back? I swear to god, Kara, she better be looking worse than you right now or I will personally see to it myself. I am fucking _pissed!_ ” Lena ranted, her anger boiling up at the thought of someone attacking Kara.

 

_“Lena! Calm down. She only managed to get two punch-“_

 

            “Two? TWO! SHE HIT YOU TWICE? She’s going to wish she’d kept her hands to herself when I find out who she is. What’s her name?” Lena asked, seething with rage.

 

 _“Lena, I’m not going to tell you her name! I’m fine, honestly, it’s just a little bruise. I didn’t hit her back because then I would’ve been in trouble too. I’m her superior officer so she’ll get taken to court, they’ll sort her out, I get to keep my clean record because I didn’t retaliate. It’s a win win for everyone,”_ Kara calmly explained.

 

            “IT’S NOT OKAY KARA! I now not only have to worry about you getting attacked by rebels, but now I have to worry about your _own_ soldiers attacking you! This war is shit and you’re getting hurt! Honestly, what on earth possessed you sign up in the first place? I will never understand,” Lena replied.

 

 _“It’s just a black eye, Lena!”_ Kara reassured her.

 

            Lena scoffed as she looked at Kara in disbelief. “Well when _I_ got into a fight it was the worst thing that had ever happened since the beginning of the world apparently! Did I start it? Well ... that’s arguable because I guess I smashed a glass over his head first, but that’s beside the point. You can’t expect me not to get pissed about the fact that you’re hurt! You should’nt be there in the first place, you should be here, with me, safe.”

 

 _“I-I know, and I’m sorry that I’m not there, but this isn’t the same as you and my sister getting yourself into trouble. I didn’t mean to get punched in the face – not that you meant to either – but I feel like it’s different circumstances. There’s no point in you getting angry over it when there’s nothing you can do,”_ Kara said, and Lena opened her mouth to protest. _“Come on, Lena, be reasonable.”_

 

            Shutting her mouth, Lena knit her eyebrows together in a frown as she stared at the dark bruise ringing Kara’s eye. Her jaw tightened and she ground her teeth together in frustration. “I don’t like this.”

 

            Kara let out a snort of laughter. _“Well neither do I, but it’s not too bad.”_

 

            “Have you told your mom or Alex yet?” Lena asked, and Kara shook her head, grimacing slightly.

 

 _“I’ll call them before I go to bed,”_ Kara told her.

 

            Lena sighed, looking at Kara with a pained look on her face. Now she understood what Kara must’ve felt when looking at Lena’s face – and Lena felt a bit guilty as brushing Kara’s concerns away. “I just-, I hate to see you like this,” Lena choked out, her throat closing up.

 

 _“You better not start tearing up on me,”_ Kara laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

 

            “Me, crying? Not likely,” Lena joked, swallowing the lump in her throat. They both laughed for a moment, before Lena tilted her head to the side and studied every inch on Kara’s face. “You’re okay though, right?”

 

 _“Yeah, I’m fine,”_ Kara murmured. _“Now, tell me about your day.”_

 

            “I think I’d rather hear about yours, it sounds awfully exciting,” Lena said, rolling her eyes as she smiled slightly.

 

\---

 

            “Pizza’s here!” Maggie yelled as she barged through the door to Lena’s office.

 

            “What the fuck, Maggie, can’t you just knock like a normal person?” Lena said, looking up from the pile of paperwork she was still doing.

 

            “Jess let me in,” Maggie shrugged walking over and placing the pizza down on Lena’s desk, before making herself comfortable in the chair in front of the desk. Reaching forward, Maggie picked up the photo frame Lena kept on her desk and looked at the picture in it. She stared at the photo of Kara smiling widely out of the frame before putting it back down. Opening the box, Maggie picked up a slice of pizza, taking a bite and reaching for one of the files on Lena’s desk. Lena’s hand clamped down on Maggie’s stopping her mid-movement, and she gave her an exasperated look.

 

            “Can’t you just sit there and behave for five minutes,” Lena sighed, rolling her eyes.

 

            “I’m bored! I just want to see what you’re working on,” Maggie argued. Lena let go off Maggie’s hand, and she shook her head as Maggie quickly picked the file up and flipped it open. She read through the file as Lena carried on working, interrupting every few moments to ask a question, and eventually Lena threw her pen down and sighed with frustration.

 

            “You are enfuriating! How on earth does Alex put up with you? You’ve gotten greasy fingerprints all over the paper!” Lena grumbled, running a hand through her hair.

 

            “I’m helping!” Maggie protested, smirking slightly. “This thing needs to not blow up and then it’ll work. See? Helping.” Lena rolled her eyes and flipped her off, before reaching for some pizza.

 

            “Get your dirty fucking boots off my clean desk!” Lena scolded her, poking Maggie’s leg and watching her grumble as she obeyed. “What time will Alex be finishing?” Lena asked, leaning back in her chair.

 

            “At ten,” Maggie said, looking down at her watch. “What time are you finishing? You know that Kara doesn’t like you staying here late.”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes again. “I get stabbed _one_ time and now I’m not even allowed to put in a full day’s work.”

 

            Maggie laughed, shaking her head as she picked up another slice of pizza. “Getting stabbed once would be enough for most people. And don’t try and act like you haven’t been here since seven o’clock. That’s over twelve hours. Honestly, don’t you have a life?”

 

            “Hm, well I tried having a life and I got myself beaten to a pulp and arrested, so I figured I may aswell just risk another stabbing at this point,” Lena smirked while Maggie laughed. As Maggie reached for another folder, Lena’s eyes widened and she tried to yank it back off her.

 

            “Not that one!” Lena yelled, panicking slightly, and Maggie pulled it out of Lena’s reach, raising her eyebrows as she smirked.

 

            “Well now I’m intrigued,” Maggie grinned wickedly. “What is this? Your secret fantasy scrapbook. It’s not sex fantasies is it? I don’t think I could look Kara in the eye ever again if it is.” Lena glowered at Maggie, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched her open the folder.

 

            “Oh, it’s just wedding stuff,” Maggie said, pouting in disappointment. “Well that’s boring. Although, I have to say, you’ve put a lot of effort into this over the past couple of months.”

 

            “Shut up,” Lena muttered, holding a hand out for Maggie to give it back. It was gently slapped aside as Maggie continued to flip through the pages, much to Lena’s embarrassment. “Okay, that’s enough. Give it back please.”

 

            “Does Kara know about this?” Maggie asked, raising an eyebrow as she carried on flipping through it.

 

            Lena blushed and cleared her throat slightly. “No. I was making it to show her when she gets back. Just some ideas that I think she might like. Obviously it’s a bit stupid to be planning already when we won’t be married for a few years, but … you know.”

 

            “Looks cool,” Maggie said, before pointing at one of the pages. “Are you not having a white dress? I thought you were a traditionalist – not that you’re the epitome of sweet and innocent or anything. No offence, Luthor.”

 

            “Um, well I don’t know if I want a dress of a suit, but if I _do_ have a dress, it’ll be white,” Lena explained. “Um, those were some ideas for you and Alex. I thought nude would be a nice colour scheme, and Kara agreed.”

 

            “Why can’t we pick our own? Although I do like the idea of nude,” Maggie said, smiling while she winked at Lena, who rolled her eyes. “Is it like that ridiculous Kim and Kanye wedding where they forced everyone to wear white?”

 

            “What? No, that’s absurd,” Lena scoffed. “You have to match the scheme if you’re bridesmaids, otherwise it’ll look ridiculous.”

 

            “Bridesmaids?” Maggie echoed, her forehead wrinkling in surprise.

 

            Lena blinked at Maggie’s reaction and her mouth fell open. “Oh! Oh no, I forgot to ask didn’t I? I mean, I figured that Kara would’ve already asked Alex to be her maid of honour, but um, well, I, uh, I was going to ask if you would, uh, be mine …”

 

            “You want _me_ to be _your_ maid of honour?” Maggie asked, frowning in confusion.

 

            “Maid of honour, best man, whatever you prefer. You were the first friend I ever had, so, uh, yeah. I mean, there’s no one else I’d want,” Lena shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed.

 

            “Holy shit. Are you fucking serious?” Maggie exclaimed, sitting upright in her seat as she grinned widely at Lena. “That’s-, wow, I wasn’t expecting that! Thank you, I’d love to!”

 

            “Oh, well thanks,” Lena said, smiling back at her in relief.

 

            Maggie’s smile grew wider and her eyes started sparkling as a thought came to her. “This means I get to plan your bachelorette party.”

 

            Lena groaned, almost instantly regretting her decision.


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I'm running on exactly no sleep and I've been celebrating new Katie content and also Mon-El being yeeted into space.

            The rest of January passed by quickly, and Lena spent most of it parked behind her desk at L-Corp, trying to keep her head down, for Kara’s sake. Kara had been gone over two months, and Lena was growing restless – they were halfway through, and every moment had dragged. It was unfair that they couldn’t be together, and on the bad days she couldn’t help but feel frustrated that Kara had gone into the army in the first place. Today was one of those bad days because tomorrow was Kara’s birthday, and today she was flying to Metropolis to visit her mom. Lena found herself on her private jet, along with Alex, Maggie and Eliza. After Lena had accidentally let slip that Kara’s birthday was coming up, Lillian had insisted on Eliza coming to visit too so she didn’t have to be at home, missing her girls, and Lena had been taken by surprise at the thoughtfulness of her mom’s gesture.

 

            Sat in one of the chairs, Lena frowned as she stared out the window, absentmindedly scratching the fur behind Athena’s ears as the dog slept. Eliza was asleep in the back corner, keeping as far away from the other three girls as possible so that she could rest after her long shift at the hospital. A kick to her knee broke Lena out of her self-pitying, and she shot Maggie a dark look.

 

            “What?” Lena quietly hissed, careful to keep her voice down so she didn’t disturb Eliza.

 

            “Fucking hell, can you lighten up a little? You’re so moody these days. I think someone needs to get laid,” Maggie muttered.

 

            “Maggie!” Alex scolded her, also looking slightly alarmed at the turn the conversation was about to take. She really didn’t want to picture her sister and Lena in that way.

 

            “And how do you suppose I do that, huh?” Lena snapped, crossing her arms as she frowned. “I guess I’ll just go fuck myself.”

 

            Maggie rolled her eyes at Lena. “Jeez, I just wanted to know if we were-“

 

            “I swear to fucking god, Maggie, if you ask if we’re almost there yet one more time, I’ll throw you out of the plane,” Lena snapped, catching a glimpse of Alex biting her lip to hide a smile. Grumbling, Maggie slouched in her seat and turned her attention to her phone.

 

            They were all silent for a moment, and then Lena sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. I just … I miss her,” Lena mumbled, not looking up from her lap. Maggie waved away her apology, giving Lena a small, sympathetic smile.

  

            It was another fifteen minutes before they started descending, and they soon found themselves bundled into the waiting car and on there way to Lillian’s.

 

            “Hey, um, the house is a lot to take in, so can you just … I don’t know, not be a dick for a change?” Lena asked Maggie in a low voice, and Maggie raised her eyebrows, looking mildly offended.

 

            “What’s that supposed to mean?” Maggie asked.

 

            Lena sighed, giving her an exasperated look. “You _know_ what I mean. You make fun of me all the time for being rich and I’m asking you, just this once, please just don’t mention it.”

 

            “Would I, your maid of honour, ever do such a thing?” Maggie asked, smirking slightly.

 

            “Yes! That’s exactly why I’m asking you not to!” Lena said, and Alex and Eliza bit back smiles. “Just … don’t mention it please.”

 

            “Don’t worry, sweetie, I’m sure everyone will be on their best behavior,” Eliza assured her. “Isn’t that right, Maggie?”

 

            Maggie huffed as she rolled her eyes. “Would I, your maid of honour, ever not be on my best behavior.”

 

            “Maggie, I swear to god, refer to yourself like that one more time and you can sleep in the stables,” Lena said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

 

            “You have stab-“ Maggie started to ask, before Lena exhaled in frustration and gave her a pointed look.

 

            “What did I _just_ say? No commenting on the house!” Lena exclaimed.

 

            It was then that the car pulled up to the gates, and after being buzzed through, started the long, twisting drive up the winding driveway. Lena grew tenser with each passing moment, and felt herself getting agitated. It was one thing to come here alone, but it was another thing to introduce her new family to her childhood. She’d been so intent on keeping it separate that they’d only had a glimpse of her world and only heard about it in stories that Lena had willingly told.

 

            “Oh fuck!” Maggie exclaimed, her voice full of awe as the sprawling mansion came into sight, and Lena fought back a groan.

 

            “Language, Maggie Sawyer,” Eliza scolded her, but Lena saw a similar look of awe on her face too, as well as Alex’s.

 

            “Okay, so I know you’re rich, but you’re like _rich_ rich,” Alex said, looking at Lena with wide eyes, before laughing slightly. “You might want to draw up a prenup before the wedding.”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes at the comment before turning to face Eliza. “Next time, I’m only inviting you.”

 

            As the car pulled up out the front, the door opened and Lena saw her mom standing in the doorway with a smile on her face. The driver turned off the engine and got out of the car to open Lena’s door for her. She stepped out with a quick thank you, and made her way towards the house, climbing the front steps with Athena in tow.

 

            “Hi mom,” Lena smiled at her, letting Lillian gently grab her chin and tilt her head side to side while she observed Lena’s face.

 

            “You haven’t been sleeping,” Lillian commented, her voice full of disapproval.

 

            “I’m fine,” Lena mumbled, rolling her eyes. “It’s just from last night. I was trying to catch up on paperwork.”

 

            “Okay, Lena, whatever you say,” Lillian huffed, knowing that there was no point arguing with Lena right now. Lena knew this wouldn’t be the end of it though, and she had a sneaking suspicion it was part of the reason why her mom had insisted on her bringing everyone to visit. She was sure to keep a close eye on her daughter’s sleeping habits for the duration of the stay – Lena had no doubt about it.

 

            Walking inside, Lena left Lillian to greet the other three women, and unclipped Athena’s leash before making her way towards the kitchen. The one thing that Lena noticed that was different from the last time she visited was the photos. Last time there had been empty frames and gaps where there should’ve been frames on the walls – the spaces where photos of Lex should’ve been – but this time, the empty spaces had been filled. This time with photos of Lena. She blinked in surprise as she walked towards the kitchen, turning her head to look at the photos of herself that she didn’t even know her mom had. Putting a pot of coffee on, Lena pulled five mugs out of the cupboard and waited for everyone to join her.

 

            “Lena, do you want to take your bags up to your room and give the girls a tour?” Lillian suggested, walking through the doorway. Warily agreeing, Lena abandoned the coffee for the time being and walked back to the hallway to claim her bag, and Alex and Maggie trailed after her.

 

            “This is the hallway, that’s the front living room, that’s the dining room,” Lena said, vaguely gesturing around the place.

 

            Alex rolled her eyes. “That’s not a tour. Come on, we’re not going to go snooping through your things. Are you expecting us to just sit in the bedroom for the rest of the week?”

 

            “Fine,” Lena sighed, giving in and walking over to the living room and throwing open the door. The two girls murmured and looked around in wonder at the sheer size of the massive room, and the obvious wealth in it.

 

            Lena quickly led them around the rest of the bottom floor, before coming back to the hallway and picking up her bag again and walking upstairs. She trailed behind Alex and Maggie as they opened doors and poked their heads inside while Lena explained what each room was, and soon they were on the third floor. As Maggie reached out and grasped the handle of Lex’s bedroom door, Lena opened her mouth to protest, but was too late to stop her from flinging it open.

 

            Lena let out a soft exclamation of surprise as she looked around the empty room. There wasn’t a single thing in there, and Lena couldn’t help but think about the messy room full of her brother’s old plans that she’d come home to last time. It looked like Lillian had taken Lena’s advice and finally gotten around to clearing out all of Lex’s things.

 

            “What room is this supposed to be,” Alex asked.

 

            “Um, it _was_ my brother’s. I guess she finally put his shit in storage,” Lena shrugged.

 

            “Oh shit, sorry,” Maggie apologized. “I didn’t mean to snoop.”

 

            “It’s fine. There’s nothing in here anyway,” Lena mumbled, shutting the door and carrying on down the hallway. After the last few rooms, she came to her own, and threw the door open. Walking inside, Lena dumped her bag on the floor and turned to walk back out.

 

            “Um, this is your room?” Alex frowned as she looked around.

 

            “Yeah,” Lena replied.

 

            “It’s a bit, um, bare,” Maggie commented, staring at the empty bookshelves and the lack of any personal items.

 

            Lena shrugged again. “Yeah, I, uh, cleaned out everything when I left. It’s all at my apartment here in Metropolis.”

 

            “Right,” Alex slowly said, looking slightly concerned as she looked around.

 

            “Anyway, so that’s the end of the tour. Who wants coffee?” Lena said quickly, walking back out into the hallway and shutting her bedroom door before Alex and Maggie could comment on anything else.

 

            “What about the garden?” Maggie asked, her eyes sparkling with interest. Lena groaned, giving in and leading them back downstairs and through the back door, giving them a quick glimpse around before bringing them back inside – it was still cold, and she didn’t fancy going outside right now. they made their way back into the kitchen and sat around the table, joining in on Eliza and Lillian’s conversation.

 

            Everyone went to bed late, and Lena even later. She was curled up in bed, working on some paperwork, keeping an eye on the time as she waited for it to hit midnight. The second the clock rolled over to the next day, she immediately picked up her phone and sent Kara a text. She wouldn’t be able to see it until she finished work that night, but Lena wanted her to know that her birthday was important to her even if she was half a world away. Lena smiled as she scrolled through the hundreds of photos of Kara she had on her phone, missing her more than ever. It was upsetting to think that this was another milestone that they wouldn’t get to spend together, but she was grateful that Kara would have Winn, James and Lucy to spend it with.

 

            It was just past three o’clock when Lena wearily sighed and gave up on her paperwork, deciding to turn in for the night. With a quick glimpse at her phone’s wallpaper, she smiled at the photo of Kara, before rolling over and falling into a restless sleep.

 

\---

 

            Waking up early, Lena wandered downstairs and pulled her coat and boots on over her pyjamas before walking outside with Athena. She sat down on the patio and watched the dog run around in the early morning light. It was freezing, and Lena’s breath came out in white clouds as she watched the sun slowly rise.

 

            She stayed out there for an hour, watching the sky grow lighter as she thought about Kara. It was hours before Lena would get to talk to her, and she couldn’t wait to see her face, and to embarrass both herself and Kara with a round of ‘happy birthday’. Just as she was considering going back inside, Alex and Maggie opened the door and walked outside, and Alex handed Lena a cup of coffee, which she accepted with a grateful smile.

 

            “Is that a fucking maze?” Maggie asked, pointing towards the hedges as she looked at Lena, who nodded. “How the fuck did I miss that yesterday? Here, hold this.” She handed Alex her coffee and set off running across the wide expanse of grass with Athena chasing after her. Alex quietly laughed as she watched Maggie disappear into the tall hedges, and sat down next to Lena to drink her coffee.

 

            “How long do you think it’ll take her to get lost?” Lena asked, smiling at the thought.

 

            “Hm, I’d say probably another minute,” Alex laughed, her face lit up with amusement. Sure enough, a few moments later there was a distant shout which set the two girls off laughing.

 

            “Oh god, she’s such a loser, but I love her,” Alex happily sighed, and Lena smiled too, happy that they were happy.

 

            “So, how are things between the two of you? Things still all good at the new place?” Lena asked, hoping she wasn’t prying too much, but also genuinely interested in their relationship. Alex hesitated for a moment before she turned to look at Lena, giving her a small smile.

 

            “Yeah, everything’s good. Better than good – it’s great,” she said slowly, and Lena prompted her, knowing that that wasn’t the end of what Alex wanted to talk about. There was something holding her back though, and Lena gave her a reassuring smile. “I’m, um, I’m going to propose to her.”

 

            “What!” Lena loudly exclaimed, quickly clapping a hand over her mouth as she shot a look over at the maze. Luckily Maggie was still helplessly lost and probably hadn’t heard Lena’s shout. “Oh my god! Why didn’t you fucking tell me sooner? Do you know how you’re going to do it? Have you picked out a ring?”

 

            “I, well, didn’t want to, uh, upset you, I guess. I know things are great between the two of you, but I know it’s hard being away from Kara. Especially on days like today, which is why I hesitated a little bit. I didn’t want to upset you both,” Alex explained.

 

            “Alex! You know Kara and I would _never_ be upset about this! I’m so happy for you both, and I bet she’ll be happy too when you tell her,” Lena said, smiling widely at Alex and giving her a gentle nudge.

 

            “Well I haven’t asked Mags yet, so the celebrating might have to wait,” Alex said with a nervous laugh. “I don’t know how I want to do it yet – I just want it to be perfect, you know? And yes I do already have a ring.”

 

            “Can I help? Or is this something you want to do alone?” Lena asked.

 

            Alex happily smiled at her. “I’m open to suggestions. I just really want to make it special, you know? You only get engaged once, hopefully.”

 

            “You could take my jet and take her to Paris,” Lena suggested. “Or to Venice, and go on the canals. That would be romantic. Or if you want something a little more local, I could get my mom to let me take the boat out and you could do it like that. It’s a nice boat, though. Although that’d mean you’d have to do it by the end of the week. When were you planning on doing it? Do you have a special place in National City? I could rent out the botanical gardens for you for the evening.”

 

            “Jesus, um, okay. I don’t want her to suspect anything’s up, so maybe not an overseas trip. She’s a detective, not a dipshit, so she’ll figure it out if I take her to Paris. Um, I planned on doing it within the next few weeks, but I guess by the end of the week would be fine. Do you really have a boat?” Alex asked, slowly.

 

            “Yeah, one second, let me google it for you,” Lena said, pulling her phone out of her pocket and quickly finding a few photos of the outside of the boat. “See? It’s a nice ship. You can have dinner on the deck, I can have flowers brought in, we can make it super fancy. There’s even … beds on it.”

 

            “Shit. What the fuck. That’s not a boat that’s a fucking luxury cruise ship. Holy shit. That looks amazing. I kind of want to just go on it for the sake of it, screw the proposal,” Alex babbled, swiping through the photos of the boat. “I’m guessing it’s just as nice inside too.”

 

            “Yeah, it is,” Lena smiled. “Well it’s yours if you want to do it on it. Just let me know what you need and I’ll sort it out for you.

 

            “Yes please, it’s perfect. Thank you so much! I could kiss you right now,” Alex said excitedly, throwing an arm around Lena’s shoulders and giving her a quick squeeze.

 

            “No problem,” Lena laughed. “You might want to go and fetch your future fiancé now though. I’m scared that she’ll start scaling the hedges if she can’t find her way out soon.”

 

\---

 

            Lena was anxiously waiting for Kara to call, and she was driving everyone insane as they all sat around the table eating lunch. She stared at her phone as she played with her salad, eyeing it impatiently as she waited for the screen to light up.

 

            “Lena, stop playing with your food and eat something,” Lillian scolded her, and Lena jumped slightly as her mom’s voice broke her concentration. Frowning slightly, Lena stabbed a piece of tomato and shoved it in her mouth, choking on it as her phone screen lit up. She lunged for the phone, almost upsetting her glass of water as she picked it up. A smile lit up her face as soon as Kara’s face appeared.

 

            “Happy birthday!” Lena excitedly exclaimed, and it was echoed by everyone else sat around the table.

 

 _“Hi! Thank you!”_ Kara widely smiled. _“I’m just about to open my cards and presents. Winn, James and Lucy are here. Say hi.”_

 

            There was a round of hellos from both sides as Kara quickly put the camera on her friends, before turning it back on herself. “Okay,” Lena smiled at her. “Do you want to talk to your mum for a minute?”

 

 _“Yes please,”_ Kara said, and Lena quickly handed off the phone to Eliza, who captured Kara in conversation while everyone else listened. Then Eliza passed it off to Alex, before it found its way back to Kara.

 

 _“Okay, so there’s this tin that says birthday on it, so should I open that first, or wait?”_ Kara asked.

 

            “Ooo, yes. Wait, Lucy, can you open it please,” Lena said, and at the other girl’s agreement, Kara handed the tin over. Lucy let out a soft exclamation as she realized what was in the tin, and a few moments later, she had the cake full of lit candles and was presenting it to Kara, who groaned. On the three, everyone started singing happy birthday to her, and Lena was extremely grateful that Winn was there and had stolen Kara’s camera to snap some pictures of the whole thing. As they all finished singing, Lena put the camera back on herself, smiling widely as she saw the blush in Kara’s cheeks.

 

            “Sorry it’s not a real cake. I had to settle for a brownie one because I thought a normal one would go stale by the time it got there,” Lena explained, grimacing slightly. She hadn’t wanted Kara to go without a birthday cake, so she’d settled for anything that was sweet and could have a couple of candles shoved in it. “Make a wish.”

 

            Kara snorted at Lena’s words, knowing full well that Lena didn’t believe in wishes, but her face turned thoughtful for a moment as she thought something up. They spent the next half an hour watching Kara open the small presents everyone had gotten her – they had a few more at home for her that would’ve been too big for her to bring back with her, or too useless for her to use over there, but she could have them when she got back. Before Kara could open Lena’s, Lena excused herself from the table, giving everyone a warm smile as she wandered up to her bedroom so her and Kara could have some alone time.

 

            Shutting the door, Lena sat down in her old armchair. “Okay, so first of all, they’re not really big presents because I was thinking about what you said at Christmas, about thoughtful presents, so I got you things that you can’t really use, well, for most of them. And they’re not like super expensive but I think they’ll mean a lot to you.”

 

 _“You didn’t have to get me anything,”_ Kara told her, wrinkling her nose at Lena before smiling. _“I guess you didn’t get me that castle I wanted though, huh?”_

 

            Lena cracked a smile, letting out a quick laugh. “No, that’s your wedding present.”

 

            She listened to Kara ramble for a moment while she picked up one of the first gifts off Lena. Tearing open the paper, Kara adjusted her glasses as she bent over the small piece of card, frowning slightly as she concentrated. _“Twenty-thousan- LENA LUTHOR YOU SAID THEY WEREN’T EXPENSIVE!”_ Kara yelled, looking up with wide eyes.

 

            “It’s a donation in your name to the orphanage you stayed at after your parents died,” Lena explained.

 

 _“Yeah, I can see that! And it’s for twenty-THOUSAND dollars, Lena,”_ Kara said, sounding alarmed.

 

            “Well, yeah …” Lena shrugged.

 

 _“What part of that is not big?”_ Kara asked, looking slightly amused.

 

            “Don’t you like it?” Lena asked hesitantly.

 

 _“I love it!”_ Kara quickly reassured her. _“And you’re right, it’s very thoughtful, but that’s a lot of money.”_

 

            “Whatever. Just, open the next one,” Lena said, brushing aside Kara’s money concerns. She watched as Kara opened the next one, waiting to find out which one it was.

 

_“Wha-, Lena! You can’t just give me part of your company!”_

 

            Lena frowned slightly. “Okay this one’s less thoughtful and more for my peace of mind - it’s just some stocks, like a teeny tiny percentage of the company that I bought back. I thought it’d be a good financial investment for you. That way you’ll always have a steady income. I mean, you’re going to be my wife, so then what’s mine will be yours, but I thought it’d be nice to have something that’s your own.”

 

 _“Yes, because I’m here for your billion-dollar fortune,”_ Kara laughed. _“Thank you, and you’re wrong, that’s very thoughtful of you.”_ She shook her head as she put it aside and picked up the next one, and Lena smiled at the other piece of paper Kara held.

 

            “Okay, this one is me keeping a promise to you,” Lena said as she watched Kara read it. “I said I couldn’t give you the stars, but maybe a constellation, so I bought you all the stars in a constellation. Surprise! You now own those stars.”

 

 _“Oh my god, I can’t believe you remembered saying that. I love it!”_ Kara laughed, beaming widely at Lena. _“Thank you!”_

 

            Lena smiled brightly at the fact that Kara liked it so much – she’d been hoping she would because Lena had put a lot of thought into things that Kara would think were sentimental and sweet. The last gift was the big one though, and Lena hoped she would like that just as much. Kara let out a sound of confusion as she pulled out the little key, and looked up at the camera with a frown.

 

 _“Is this for your apartment? Because you already gave me a key,”_ Kara said, looking puzzled.

 

            “Um, no it’s not, and it’s not really useful, it’s more just for show because I didn’t know how to gift it to you if you weren’t here. I mean, you _can_ lock it but I doubt you would,” Lena rambled. “I, uh, I had one of the rooms in my apartment renovated and turned into a photography room for you, so you can keep all your photos and equipment in there. And it even doubles as a dark room because I know you like to use film sometimes, and I got you some new cameras and this really cool printer for your digital photos.”

 

 _“Are you kidding me? A photography room? Have I ever mentioned how much I love you? Oh god, I love you,”_ Kara laughed, squealing with excitement. _“This is amazing! I can’t wait to see it! but most importantly, I can’t wait to see you so I can kiss you for all of this. Really, thank you, Lena.”_

            “You deserve the world, Kara Danvers, and I’ll try my best to give it to you,” Lena said, giving her a loving smile. “Happy birthday. I love you.”


	56. Chapter 56

            February came around, and Lena was helping Alex put the finishing touches on her plans for the proposal. They’d kept it to themselves so far, but Lena had asked Lillian if she could borrow the boat tonight, with the intention of coming up with a work emergency to get out of it. Eliza knew that Alex was going to propose, but Alex hadn’t told her it was going to be tonight, on the off chance that one of the four of them would accidentally let it slip and tip Maggie off.

 

            Lillian was already in her office working on her research, with Eliza’s help, and Lena quietly opened the door.

 

            “Mom?” she asked, interrupting them both.

 

            “Yes?” Lillian and Eliza both answered at the same time, turning to face Lena. All three of them blinked in surprise and let out a quick laugh.

 

            “Which mom?” Lillian asked, looking amused.

 

            “Mom one or mom two?” Eliza smiled.

 

            “Mom one,” Lena laughed. “Um, I was wondering if I could take Alex and Maggie out on the boat tonight. The weather looks pretty clear today.”

 

            “Yeah, sure. I’ll make a call and get them to get everything ready for you down at the docks,” Lillian told her, and Lena smiled widely at her.

 

            “Great. Thank you. I’ll leave you both to it,” Lena said, quietly excusing herself and backing out of the room.

 

            Walking downstairs, Lena made her way to the kitchen to eat breakfast with Alex and Maggie and sat down at the table with her food. After a pointed look from Alex, Lena cleared her throat slightly, catching Maggie’s attention.

 

            “So, the weather’s pretty good today and I asked my mom if we could go out on the boat tonight. Mix things up before we go back home,” Lena off-handedly suggested, shrugging casually as she ate her oatmeal.

 

            “You have a-” Maggie started to say.

 

            “Don’t even say it, Sawyer,” Lena said, narrowing her eyes at her.

 

            Alex laughed while Maggie rolled her eyes. “Sounds good, I’m in.”

 

            “Yeah, that’ll be fun,” Maggie agreed.

 

            “Okay, cool. Shall we say six o’clock?” Lena asked, raising her eyebrows in question.

 

            “Six is good,” Alex said, giving Lena a conspiratory smile and Lena smiled back. They finished their breakfast and all got changed, spending the rest of the morning in the living room watching TV. Lena was busy doing her paperwork while she waited for Kara to call, and was half-paying attention to Alex and Maggie’s conversation while they watched yet another crime show. Yet again, Lena found herself making bets against Alex that she knew she would lose, but still couldn’t bring herself to reign in her competitive side – no matter how bad it was for her pride.

 

            It was just before twelve when Lena’s phone started ringing, and she answered with a smile as Kara’s face came on screen. After letting Alex and Maggie talk to her for ten minutes, Lena decided to take the call upstairs. Abandoning her paperwork, she climbed the staircases and shut herself in her room, laying on her bed as she stared up at Kara.

 

            “So, how was your day?” Lena asked.

 

 _“Good! A little slow, but I guess that’s what you want to hear right?”_ Kara laughed. _“It was just the usual; training, then I went on patrol, there was some weapon cleaning – mostly for my soldiers – and then you guessed it, more training. I did a little bit of shouting too, of course, because they’re all idiots who don’t know how to do their job properly. We also got some new infantry equipment so I did a bit of light reading of the manual – and yes, it’s as fun as it sounds. Then I had another delicious meal, which was the highlight of my day up until now.”_

            “That sounds amazing – and to think, all I did today was watch TV and read over plans for a new project,” Lena teased her.

 

 _“Is everything still on track for tonight?”_ Kara asked excitedly, and her eyes sparkled at the thought of Alex proposing to Maggie.

 

            “Mhm, everything’s a go. Now I just have to think up a quick emergency at around five-thirty and politely bow out and let them get to it. I think I’ve thought of everything they might need,” Lena told her.

 

 _“Alex is so excited, I can’t wait. Do you think she’s going to say yes, though? Oh god. What if she doesn’t?”_ Kara gasped, her excited smile replaced by an anxious expression.

 

            “Please, they’re perfect for each other,” Lena scoffed. “Of _course_ she’ll say yes. I’ll kick her ass if she doesn’t.”

 

 _“No, right, yeah, of course she’s going to say yes,”_ Kara said. _“I remember having a similar conversation with Alex, and we turned out perfectly. Just in case though, kick her ass for me too.”_

            “Of course,” Lena smirked. “I’m not sure I need the encouragement though.”

 

 _“Don’t I know it,”_ Kara laughed. “ _How’s your mom?”_

            “Ugh, she’s good but she’s still nagging me. It’s driving me mad. She told me this morning that she was going to lock me outside so I would be forced to spend some time in the sun because apparently I’m so white I’d be mistaken for ghost if I went outside in the dark,” Lena complained, rolling her eyes. “And let’s not even get started on the sleeping thing. She still won’t let it rest. I wouldn’t be surprised if she started spiking my evening tea with sleeping pills.”

 

 _“I mean, she does have a point. You are super pasty, not that I’d expect anything else when you spend all day cooped up in that office. And she’s spot on with the sleeping thing; you look like you haven’t slept in days, love. I don't want to argue with you, but I think you should listen to your mom, just this once. Or you could listen to me. I know you said you're still having nightmares, and I know it's because you're scared for me, but you need to take care of yourself first. I didn't want to push you because I thought things might settle down when you got used to me being back here, but it hasn't and I'm worried for you. I don't want to have to worry about you not taking care of yourself, and it's okay to accept that you need help sometimes. You actually told me that, so please, just let your mom help you. Please, just do this for me,”_ Kara said, frowning slightly in concern. Lena rolled her eyes and smiled as she waved Kara’s concerns away.

 

            “I’m fine, really. The nightmares aren't as often as they used to be, and I was just up late last night doing some work … and the night before that,” Lena said, giving Kara a sheepish smile. She felt a bit guilty for belittling the truth, but Kara was right, she shouldn't have to worry about Lena looking after herself, so if it gave her some peace of mind, Lena was okay with trivialising the problem.

 

 _“You’re going to work yourself to death,”_ Kara tutted, her frown deepening.

 

            “Well I have to do something while you’re gone. Just think, in six more weeks you’ll be home to rescue me,” Lena laughed, her face lighting up at the prospect. They were getting close now, and she could hardly wait any longer. Things would be okay when Kara got home - everything would fall back into place again.

 

 _“I can’t wait!”_ Kara beamed. _“It’s dragging sooo much, but we’re so close! Get ready for me to never let you go ever again.”_

            “ _You_ never let _me_ go? I think it’s the other way around!” Lena laughed. “You’re the one who decided to run off and … what was it Alex said? Build sandcastles in the desert.”

 

 _“Great, I’m coming back to a bunch of clowns. You’re all real comedians,”_ Kara sighed, rolling her eyes as she bit back a smile.

 

            “You love us, admit it,” Lena laughed. “You’ll probably be sick of us within five minutes of being home.”

 

 _“I could never,”_ Kara scoffed, sounding slightly offended. _“I’m counting down the seconds until I can come home and be annoyed to death – by Maggie, I can guarantee you. At least it’ll be with you though.”_

            “Together at last,” Lena sighed. “That’s the dream.”

 

 _“Soon to be a reality! And then we can move in together, and start all this wedding planning and everything else that we need to figure out together,”_ Kara said excitedly.

 

            “Oh! That reminds me,” Lena said, snapping her fingers as the thought came to her. “Um, this might be a little weird to bring up now, but it’s just that Alex mentioned it on the way to my mom’s, about a prenup, and-”

 

 _“Oh, yeah, sure. We’ll totally have to get one drawn up before we get married,”_ Kara agreed, her expression turning serious.

 

            “What? No, that’s not what I was going to say. I mean, that was the joke she made, but I was thinking more along the lines of what’s mine is yours – literally everything – so I was kind of thinking about a, uh, a joint bank account,” Lena said hesitantly, a look of uncertainty on her face.

 

 _“I mean, yes I want us to share everything, but I feel like it’s a bit unfair, Lena, and Alex does have a point,”_ Kara slowly said.

 

            “What do you mean unfair?” Lena asked, frowning at Kara.

 

_“Lena, I-, ugh! Okay, so don’t take this the wrong way, because I love you more than anything, but you have no concept of money. Like, it’s fine, you don’t know any better and I get that … but I would expect that because you have money, you’d be a little more concerned about people taking it away from you. Not that I plan on ever divorcing you, or stealing your money, but like, come on, you have billions and I don’t. How is that fair?”_

 

            “I don’t care about my money, Kara! I just want you. This isn’t about us coming into the marriage on equal terms – speaking financially, of course - it’s about our _marriage_ being equal. I don’t want it to be mine and yours, I want it to be ours. Everything. And if you get sick of me in ten years, I don’t think you’d make off with my fortune, but also – because I would never be the one to leave you – I wouldn’t want to leave you penniless if you decided to leave me. I want what’s best for you always, and I trust you not to pull a dick move and take everything I have,” Lena laughed. “So when I say I want us to have a joint bank account, I mean that I want everything I have to be yours too. And yes, I’m using money as an example, but I mean everything. When we buy a new house together, like when we want to start a family, I want your name on the deed with mine. I want us to do everything together.”

 

 _“Oh … I mean, I want us to share everything too, I want us to do everything together,”_ Kara said, giving Lena a small smile. _“It’s just … I don’t think it’s fair to you. I have nothing to give you. I don’t own real estate, and I have a little bit of savings but it’s not a lot - all of it's gone to paying off my loans, and I could only afford that because I didn't have to pay rent and food and bills - and I don’t even have a car!”_

 

            “You’re you, Kara! I’m in this for _you_ , not what I can get _off_ you. Don’t you see that? I know what you’re trying to say, and I know this might be uncomfortable for you, but this isn’t about being fair. I don’t love you for your money, just like you don’t love me for mine, and I know that it’s easy for me to say this because I _have_ money, but I really just want to give you the world, Kara. I want it to be me and you. I don’t think it’s unfair to me to want to share everything I have with you.”

 

 _“I just-, well, okay,”_ Kara said slowly and Lena gave her a victorious smile. _“But this changes nothing. You won’t turn me into a posh girl, Lena Luthor! And I won’t use it for unnecessary lavish things. I'd still like for you to have a prenup drawn up, for the security of your company and your finances, but I'll agree to a joint bank account.”_

            “Fine, we can compromise - prenup for a joint bank account. Good. My money is yours though, so use it for whatever you'd like,” Lena smiled widely at her, before hesitating slightly. “When you say lavish, does that mean you’re opposed to an Aston Martin? Because I’d say that’s more of a necessity, especially considering the fact that you don’t have a car.”

 

 _“Lena!”_ Kara exclaimed, giving her an exasperated look.

 

            “Okay, fine. I guess you can just have the one I already have if you won't let me get you a new one. It’s in storage at the moment, but I can have it brought out to National City,” Lena smirked as Kara groaned. “Or are you more of a Bugatti person? Or would you prefer a more classic style like a Bentley or Rolls-Royce? Really, just let me know which one you want and I’ll have it brought out.”

 

 _“I really can’t tell if you’re joking about having that many cars or not, I’m a bit concerned,”_ Kara frowned, and Lena gave her a sheepish smile. She’d inherited most of them off her father and brother, but Lena wouldn’t lie; she did like her fancy cars, even if she never drove them. For now, she’d just let Kara think she was joking though, especially after the conversation they’d just had about Lena’s money. She didn’t think she was being unreasonable though, to want to give Kara the best of everything. Why shouldn’t she spoil her fiancé?

 

            They talked for a while longer, and Kara asked Lena to read her a poem before she went to bed. Lena obliging picked up one of the books she’d brought along with her and flipped to one of her favourite poems. It was long, and she patiently started reading it aloud while Kara closed her eyes, smiling as she listened to Lena’s soft, lilting voice.

 

\---

 

            “Lena! For god’s sake, I’ve been calling you for fi-“ Lillian’s voice woke Lena up, and she shot upright, sending the book and phone on her chest flying. “Oh! You were asleep.”

 

            “Wha-, oh fuck, Kara!” Lena said, scrambling for her phone as any remnants of sleep vanished. Lillian watched from the doorway with raised eyebrows as Lena picked up her phone. There was a message off Kara, and Lena ran her fingers through her hair as she quickly scanned the text.

 

_‘You fell asleep while reading to me. Don’t be upset, but I didn’t want to wake you up. You really need to sleep more, for me, please. I love you xxx’_

            Lena groaned, throwing her phone on her bed in frustration as she rubbed her face. “Are you okay?” Lillian asked, and Lena looked up at her mom.

 

            “I’m fine. I just-, I fell asleep talking to Kara, and I didn’t get to say goodbye,” Lena grumbled.

 

            “Ah, well, lunch is ready,” Lillian told her, walking out of Lena’s room and leaving the door open for Lena to follow. Lena sighed, standing up and following after her mom. She dragged her feet as she walked downstairs and walked into the kitchen, stifling a yawn.

 

            “Tired, sweetie?” Eliza asked from where she sat, giving Lena a sympathetic smile.

 

            “Mm,” Lena mumbled, joining everyone at the table, where her lunch was waiting for her.

 

            “I don’t think you should be going out tonight,” Lillian said, frowning slightly. “You’re obviously overtired, you need to sleep.”

 

            “Yeah, your mom’s right,” Alex quickly agreed, widening her eyes slightly as Lena met her gaze.

 

            “Yeah, sure,” Lena agreed, shrugging indifferently. If she’d actually been planning on going she would’ve fought her mom on it, but Lillian had unknowingly handed Lena the perfect excuse. “You two go and have fun.”

 

            Alex gave her a secret smile, and Lena returned it as she picked at her food.

 

\---

 

            It was almost six o‘clock, and Alex was nervously pacing in Lena’s room as Lena gave her a pep talk while Maggie finished getting ready.

 

            “Okay stop pacing, you’re making me nervous,” Lena told her, grabbing Alex by the shoulders and stopping her in her tracks. “You can do this. She’s going to say yes, and you’re going to live happily ever after and have annoying asshole children with her dimples.”

 

            “Right. Yeah. Thanks … I think,” Alex laughed, standing up straight and taking a deep breath.

 

            “Have you got the ring?” Lena asked, and Alex pulled the little box out of her purse and showed in to Lena. They both whispered excitedly over it, before Alex snapped the box shut and safely put it back in her purse. “Alright, she should be ready now. I stole our chef for the night, so she’ll be there to serve your dinner. There’s a bottle of good champagne waiting for you for after she says yes, and if they followed my instructions there should be enough flowers to open up your own florist. Everything should be good.”

 

            Alex took Lena by surprise and quickly wrapped her in a hug. “Thank you for this. I don’t think I’ve ever told you how kind and thoughtful you really are. I’m so glad my sister met you, you really are a good person, Lena, and I’m glad we’ve both found our happiness,” Alex said, her face serious.

 

            “Me too,” Lena smiled at her. “Now go get the girl.”

 

            She walked downstairs, and Alex stopped by the room her and Maggie were staying in so that she could drag Maggie out, and the three of them made their way downstairs. Lena walked them to the front door, where a car was waiting to take them to the docks, and waved them goodbye before shutting the door and making her way to the living room where her mom and Eliza were chatting over some wine. She must not have been doing a very good job of hiding her smile because as soon as she walked in Lillian narrowed her eyes slightly.

 

            “Why are you in such a good mood?” she asked, arching one eyebrow.

 

            “Alex is proposing tonight,” Lena said, her smile growing wider.

 

            “No!” Eliza exclaimed, clapping a hand to her mouth, and Lena and Lillian shot her a look of surprise. “She can’t.”

 

            “Wha-, she said she told you she was proposing,” Lena said, frowning slightly.

 

            “She did! But Maggie came to me a few weeks before and said _she_ was going to propose. I agreed with Alex because I thought by the time she did it Maggie would’ve already asked her. I mean, I couldn’t tell her _not_ to do it without telling her Maggie was going to propose to her first. Maggie’s been waiting for the perfect moment, and after you said you were going to go out on the boat she came and told me this afternoon that she was going to do it tonight,” Eliza explained and Lena let out a burst of laughter.

 

            “Oh god, this is going to be funny,” Lena laughed. “I’ve been helping Alex plan everything over the past few days! We’ve got flowers and champagne and everything! I was never going to go with them, but thanks for giving me the perfect excuse to back out, mom.”

 

            “You’re welcome,” Lillian laughed. “And how come neither of you clued Eliza into this elaborate plan of yours?”

 

            “Alex didn’t even mean to tell me, because she was scared that Maggie would figure it out, being a detective and all. So yeah, I promised not to tell anyone. She did tell Kara, but only because she’s on the other side of the world and couldn't spoil it,” Lena explained.

 

            “I can’t wait to see how this is going to turn out,” Lillian chuckled. “Who do you think will do it first?”

 

            “Alex,” Lena and Eliza both said at the same time, smiling widely.

 

            “I feel a bit more relieved now, because at least I know Maggie's going to say yes,” Lena said. “I promised Kara I’d kick her ass for the both of us if she didn’t.”

 

            “You certainly have two very brave daughters who know exactly what they want, Eliza,” Lillian said, giving her a smile. Lena smile too as she glanced down at her own engagement ring. It had been almost three months and she still couldn’t believe that she was what Kara wanted – who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

 

            “So do you,” Eliza laughed, looking at Lena. “Perhaps the most stubborn one too.”

 

            “Speaking of being stubborn,” Lillian said, training her eyes on her daughter. “We need to have a talk, which is why I thought it would be a good idea for you to stay home tonight. Eliza and I have some things we think we should discuss.”

 

            “Ah, so this is an intervention?” Lena asked, raising her eyebrows as she looked between the two women sat across from her with barely concealed amusement.

 

            “It’s not a joke, Lena, we’re worried about you,” Lillian said, frowning slightly.

 

            “I know it’s not a joke, but I’m going to get pissed off if I don’t treat it like it’s a joke,” Lena said, giving her mom a tight smile. Of course she couldn’t have expected Lillian to leave Lena to her own problems, of _course_ her mom would get involved, and Lena begrudgingly admitted that roping Eliza into it was a smart move.

 

            “We’re just worried about you, sweetheart,” Eliza gently said.

 

            “I’m fine, really, I am,” Lena assured her, giving her a warm smile.

 

            “Oh please, Lena, no one would believe that for a second. You’re wearing yourself out. You never sleep, you have terrible bags under your eyes, you’re spending too much time at the office. Don’t think because I’m not in National City that I don’t know what you’re doing. You’re my daughter, of course I know. I was there at Christmas when you woke up from that nightmare, and you can’t tell me it’s getting any better,” Lillian said.

 

            Lena frowned as she listened to her mom talk, and she couldn’t even come up with a smart retort because everything Lillian was saying was true, but Lena just didn’t want to admit it.

 

            “I’m just worried about Kara is all,” Lena said after a moment.

 

            Eliza gave her a pitying smile. “We know you are, honey, we’re all worried about her, but I … well you’re not handling it the same way we all are.”

 

            “The reckless behavior, the late nights, all the work you’re doing … it’s too much, Lena,” Lillian said with disapproval.

 

            Lena scoffed and rolled her eyes. “It’s really not that big of a deal! I _do_ sleep, mom, just not as much as I used to.”

 

            “Please, Lena. When was the last time you had more than six hours sleep _without_ having a bad dream?” Lillian asked, raising her eyebrows. Lena opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out. The truth was she couldn’t remember. She either restlessly slept for a couple of hours, or slept for longer and woke up from a nightmare.

 

            “Sweetie, we both love you, and we think it might be a good idea to start taking sleeping pills, or talk to someone at least. I know therapy is going well between you and your mom, but it might help you to talk to someone about this by yourself,” Eliza said, giving her a small, encouraging smile.

 

            “I don’t need to talk about it! I _do_ talk to Kara about it, you know, but they’re just dreams, they don't mean anything,” Lena said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest as she slouched in her seat.

 

            “I bet Kara’s telling you exactly what we’re telling you, right?” Eliza said, taking Lena’s silence for a yes.

 

            “This is weighing you down,” Lillian said. “Please, we just want what’s best for you, Lena. Look, here’s a prescription that Eliza wrote up for you. Try the pills, please. They won’t make the nightmares go away but they’ll help you sleep better.” She held a piece of paper out towards Lena, who stared at it with disbelief.

 

            “Are you kidding me?” Lena asked, raising her eyebrows as she looked from the prescription to her mom and then to Eliza. “I don’t need to be fucking medicated, mom!”

 

            “Lena! Watch your language!” Lillian snapped, before her voice softened. “We’re just trying to help you.”

 

            “Please, sweetie,” Eliza gently said, and there was something about the softness of her voice and the hopeful look on her face that made Lena cave in and take the piece of paper off her mom.

 

            “Okay,” she huffed, looking down at it. She felt like she was about to start crying, and a lump formed in her throat. “I, uh, I’m just going to go upstairs for a minute.”

 

            She stood up and walked from the room, her feet pounding on the stairs as she ran up them and locked herself in her bedroom. Lena had always hated asking for help, and it took a lot for her to bend her pride and admit that perhaps sleeping pills would help her, because her mom was right, and so was Eliza – she was exhausted and miserable and she was sick of missing Kara. Willing herself not to cry, Lena sat down on the edge of her bed and looked at the photo inside her locket. That was how Eliza found her when she knocked on the door fifteen minutes later.

 

            “Are you okay, honey?” she asked, opening the door slightly. Lena gave her a small smile, nodding her head as she snapped the locket shut and ducked it under her shirt.

 

            “Yeah, I’m fine,” Lena said, as Eliza walked in and sat down next to her.

 

            “Your mom ordered Indian food, we just realized that there’s no one here to cook because you stole the chef,” Eliza laughed quietly. “It should be here soon.”

 

            “Great,” Lena mumbled. She closed her eyes as Eliza wrapped her hands around Lena and held her close for a moment. The gentle press of her lips to Lena’s temple made her lips twitch into a small smile, grateful for the small comfort that Eliza’s love provided.

 

            “Thank you, Eliza,” Lena said, “I know you want what’s best for me. Both of you.”

 

            “Always,” Eliza told her, brushing the hair out of Lena’s face. “This will all be over soon.”

 

            “I know,” Lena said, giving her a hesitant smile. A part of her couldn't help but feel like all of her problems weren't going to vanish the second she saw Kara again though.

 

\---

           

            The three of them were sat in the living room, watching TV, when Alex and Maggie got home. They appeared in the doorway, smiling widely as they held each other’s hands, clearly giddy with happiness and excitement.

 

            “So, how’d it go?” Lena asked, smirking slightly.

 

            “I said no! Well, I didn’t answer!” Maggie laughed.

 

            “And then _she_ got down on one knee,” Alex added, smiling down at Maggie. “Did you know that she was going to propose?”

 

            “I did, but I couldn’t tell you _not_ to do it without giving it away,” Eliza smiled. “Come here.” Lena smiled as she watched Eliza wrap the two of them in a big hug, and then Alex gave her a hug too, whispering a thank you in Lena’s ear. In her usual fashion, Maggie plopped her self down next to Lena and shoved her with her shoulder.

 

            “Thank you, it was perfect,” Maggie said, giving her a smile.

 

            “I can’t believe you upstaged the proposal I planned!” Lena laughed, elbowing her gently.

 

            “Well, you know me, I always have to have the last word,” Maggie laughed.

 

            “Hey, Alex, let me see the ring,” Lena called out, gesturing for Alex to come over. They were both wearing engagement rings, and Lena had already seen Maggie’s one, but she was curious to see what she had picked out for Alex. “Oh, I’m so happy for you both. Really.”

 

            “I’ll get some champagne,” Lillian said, disappearing from the room and returning a few minutes later with a bottle and some glasses. She quickly filled them up and passed them around until they were all holding one, and then they toasted the happy couple, and their happiness reminded Lena just how lucky she was to have found someone to give her own heart to.


	57. Chapter 57

_“ONE MONTH! IT’S OFFICIALLY ONE MONTH!”_ Kara yelled as soon as the call connected. Jess stifled a laugh as she set Lena’s lunch down on her desk and showed herself out.

 

            “Whoa, okay, hi darling. I know! Can you believe it! Happy Valentine’s Day too,” Lena said excitedly, staring at Kara’s face through the computer screen.

 

 _“Right! Happy Valentine’s Day! Oh god, I love you so much! I can’t wait. It’s killing me,”_ Kara complained, grumbling at the thought of the next month separating them. Four more weeks and she would officially be back in National City. More importantly, she’d be back home in Lena’s arms, safe and sound.

 

            “I love you too. I feel like I’m going to explode, I’ve become such an impatient person lately,” Lena laughed, picking up her couscous.

 

            _“ONE MONTH!”_ Kara yelled again and Lena choked on her food as she laughed.

           

            “You’re going to wake everyone up,” Lena said, quickly swallowing her mouthful.

 

            _“I don’t care, I’m so excited!”_ Kara exclaimed, a bit quieter this time though. Her eyes were lit up with excitement and Lena knew that her own eyes held a similar expression.

 

            “Me too! I can barely sleep, just thinking about it,” Lena told her, smiling brightly as she scooped up another forkful.

 

            _“You are sleeping okay, right?”_ Kara asked, her face turning serious.

 

            Lena sighed and rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’ve been taking the pills like a good little girl and I’ve been getting a solid seven hours sleep a night. I promised you I’d take them, and I am.”

 

            _“I know you promised, and I can see that you’ve been taking them; you look less tired. Like I know you’re wearing makeup right now, but I can tell. But you’re sleeping okay, right?”_ Kara asked. There was a big difference between taking sleeping pills and sleeping, and actually having a good night’s sleep.

 

            “I mean, I feel more well rested now, and I’ve had maybe three or four bad dreams over the past two weeks, but that’s better than I thought. I hate to admit it, but my mom _was_ right, like I knew she was, but you kow how stubborn I am,” Lena grimaced.

 

            _“I think the whole world knows that,”_ Kara laughed. _“I’m glad you’re sleeping a bit better though. I wish you weren’t having any bad dreams though.”_

            “I think it’s because I’ve been wearing myself out and not sleeping much, on top of worrying about you, of course,” Lena smiled slightly. “I don’t think any amount of sleeping pills will make that stop until you come home.”

 

            _“I’m sorry,”_ Kara said in a small voice. _“You don’t know how sorry I am to have put you through all of this.”_

“Don’t blame yourself for this,” Lena said sharply. “I knew what I was getting myself into, and there’s nothing in the world you could have given me to make me back out of this.”

 

            _“But it’s been so hard,”_ Kara said, letting out a deep sigh. _“It’s so hard, it’s been hard for me and it’s been hard for you, and it hasn’t been fair for both of us.”_

“Well then just make it through the next four weeks and you can make it up to me by marrying me,” Lena smiled. “Really though, I know it’s been almost unbearable, but the thought of having you back is more than worth the wait.”

 

 _“Of course I’m coming back to marry you,”_ Kara smiled. _“I’d have to be six feet under for you to stop me.”_

“Nope, not a good joke, Kara,” Lena said, looking unimpressed.

 

            _“Sorry,”_ Kara apologized, giving her a sheepish smile.

 

            “Anyway. Valentine’s Day. I couldn’t send you flowers of take you out for a fancy dinner, of course, but I promise I will when you get back. I hope you like the book and card though,” Lena said, giving her a wicked smile that Kara didn’t seem to pick up on.

 

            _“I have it here now, I’m about to open it, and I'm sure I'll love it,”_ Kara reassured Lena, smiling brightly. _“Yours should be there later on today, courtesy of Alex. It might be a little different and a little less romantic, but I thought it would make a nice cha- OH MY GOD.”_

“Something wrong?” Lena innocently asked.

 

            _“Lena! What if someone had been here with me?”_ Kara spluttered, her face turning bright red as she looked down and the photos of a scantily clad Lena that she held in her hands.

 

            “Do you not like them?” Lena asked, smirking as she raised her eyebrows.

 

            _“Obviously I do,”_ Kara scoffed. _“But a little warning would’ve been nice!”_

Lena laughed. “Why would I warn you when I got to get that kind of reaction out of you, huh?”

 

            _“Very funny,”_ Kara said, the corners of her mouth twitching slightly as she tried not to smile.

 

            “Well seeing as I couldn’t romance you on Valentine’s Day I thought I’d do something special,” Lena winked. “But, for the record, if these photos ever get out, I will personally end you.”

 

            _“Right. Of course. I’ll keep them very safe, I promise,”_ Kara reassured her, smiling as she looked down at them again. She hesitated as she looked back at the camera. _“Just out of curiosity … how much do you think I could sell them for?”_

            “A lot,” Lena told her, narrowing her eyes slightly. “Don’t you _dare_ tell Maggie about this. I don’t want to end up in prison for killing her for trying to sell them. I didn’t spend all this time waiting for you to come home just to end up a convicted murderer as soon as you get back.”

 

            _“ONE MONTH!”_ Kara yelled, and Lena rolled her eyes as she grinned. She could hardly believe how close they were.

 

            “Is it actually a month though? Or are you lying and coming home early again? Because I loved it last time, but I swear to god, Kara, if you make me wait a _second_ longer than I have to to see you again, I’ll make you wish you hadn’t come home,” Lena warned her, smiling lovingly as she stared at Kara’s face on the screen. “I want to be there in the airport when you walk off that damn plane so I can tackle you to the ground and give you the best kiss you've ever had.”

 

            _“It’s one month, I promise. I don’t think I would be able to wait an entire car ride before seeing you again, especially if that's the welcome home I'm going to get,”_ Kara told her with a smile.

 

            “Good. I’ll probably be there ten hours before your plane even lands,” Lena laughed.

 

            _“I can’t wait. I’m counting down every moment,”_ Kara told her. _“Just wait for me to come home.”_

 

\---       

 

            “Hey loser, you better not be staring at a picture of my sister and moping around or I’m going to kick your ass,” Alex’s voice floated down the hallway, growing louder as she got closer.

 

            “Well your gratitude for giving you a fucking boat to propose on didn’t last long,” Lena grumbled, snapping shut her locket and hiding it beneath her shirt before Alex could make fun of her.

 

            “Shut up, you _know_ I’ll be eternally grateful for that,” Alex said, walking into the kitchen and dumping a box on the counter. “Now come and take a look at your Valentine’s Day gift.” Lena stood up and walked to the kitchen with a curious look on her face – Kara had given her no clue as to what her gift was. Lena’s face split into a wide smile as she looked into the box and saw a dozen small potted plants of varying herbs and vegetables for Lena’s garden.

 

            “Oh god, I really love your sister,” Lena said, smiling up at Alex, who rolled her eyes. “What’d you get Maggie? A gun?”

 

            “A bonsai tree,” Alex said. “What’d you get my sister?”

 

            “Nudes,” Lena joked, laughing at the look on Alex’s face as she spluttered. “I’m just kidding.” Technically that wasn’t a lie, because she _was_ wearing clothes in the photos, but Alex wouldn’t be too happy about the kind that Lena was wearing either, so she decided to keep that to herself.

 

            “I sent her a book and I promised her a romantic dinner when she gets back,” Lena explained.

 

            “One month today!” Alex exclaimed excitedly, and Lena groaned.

 

            “You two and your yelling! She shouted it once every five minutes when I spoke to her earlier,” Lena smiled. “I can’t wait though. It seems too good to be true. I can't believe we're almost there!”

 

            “God, don’t get all sappy on me now,” Alex said, poking Lena in her ribs. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to be around the two of you when she gets home. The ice queen is getting all mushy on me.” Lena flipped her off as she slipped the card out of the envelope and smiled down at Kara’s handwriting inside.

 

            “So, how does curry and a movie sound to you?” Alex asked.

 

            “No, I’m not crashing your Valentine’s Day,” Lena said firmly. “It’s kind of you to offer, but this is a day for the two of you. It’s game night tomorrow anyway, so I’ll see you then.”

 

            Alex sighed, rolling her eyes at Lena. “Come on, it’s not that important! I don’t want to leave you here by yourself, that’s just sad.”

 

            “It’s fine, really. I’ll probably go up and plant these in my garden, write Kara another letter and drink some tea because I can't mix alcohol with sleeping pills and you _stole_ my fucking coffee machine so that's the only caffeine I can have,” Lena grumbled as she shot Alex a dark look.

 

            “See! You’re going to make me cry, that sounds pathetic and lonely," Alex said, giving Lena a pitying look. "And for the record, I'm doing you a favour by taking your coffee machine - I should've stolen it months ago though, it makes really good coffee. Come on, get your coat.”

 

            And that’s how half an hour later, Lena found herself sat next to Maggie in the dark cinema, watching an old black and white movie that was apparently a classic. Lena smirked as she fumbled in the dark and slipped her hand into Maggie’s.

 

            “What the fuck are you doing?” Maggie hissed, pulling her hand away as other members of the audience shushed her while Lena and Alex tried to muffle their laughter. Lena was glad Alex had forced her to come; annoying Maggie was always fun.

 

\---

 

            She’d enjoyed her night with Alex and Maggie, but had left them both to it as soon as they had finished eating dinner, deciding to come back to her apartment and do exactly what she’d told Alex she was going to do. Not bothering to take her coat off, Lena picked up the box of plants and made her way up to the roof. Turning on the lights dotting the rooftop, Lena quickly got to work planting the new ingredients in her garden. It was freezing in the mid-February weather, and her hands were soon frozen as she quickly dug small holes in her planters and put the potted plants in them. By the time she was finished, Lena’s teeth were chattering and she decided it was time for a hot bath.

 

            Putting on one of the records Alex and Maggie had gotten her for her birthday, Lena ran the hot water and added some bubbles, deciding to indulge herself, considering the fact that she rarely had baths so that she could help conserve water. With the soft sound of classical music floating through the house, Lena poured herself a cup of tea and slipped into the bath. She lay there until the water started to cool, feeling more relaxed and content than she could remember since Kara had gone back. She was so close to having everything she wished for, and all of Lena’s troubles seemed to vanish as she soaked in the hot water.

 

            Making herself another cup of tea - her mom had warned Lena to stop drinking coffee, and she wouldn’t have listened if Alex hadn’t come and stolen it all, including her coffee machine – and Lena made her way into her office to write Kara what could possibly be the last letter she would write her.

 

           

            _Dear Kara,_

_Happy Valentine’s Day! We’re so close, I can feel it! I’m so nervous and excited, I feel like I’m going to explode whenever I think about you coming home. ONE MONTH as you so nicely yelled at me no less than twelve times today. Obviously it’ll be even less time by the time this letter reaches you – possibly even two weeks. TWO WEEKS! And this could possibly be the last letter I ever write to you over there – not ever, because why shouldn’t I write you little love letters when you’re home too? Although I’d hardly say ‘love’ letters because only that one was disgustingly mushy and I think I’m still recovering from writing all of those cheesy things. I’d write you a thousand of those though, if it meant you’d be home safely. I can’t wait._

_You know when you made me go on the roller coaster at the carnival? Right when you get to the top, and you can feel the butterflies and your stomach is twisting because you’re excited and nervous about what’s about to happen? It feels like that. Although, now that I think about it, I think the butterflies were because I liked you and I was a nervous wreck because I’d never liked anyone before. I remember you making us do that stupid love test and it lit up all the way to the top and I ruined it with the science behind how it works – I wanted to kick myself, but I was so scared of reading into things. Well, look at me now. Look at us now. We really are meant to be because everything is working out perfectly now. You’ll come home, you’ll be safe, and we’re going to be happy. God, we’re going to be so happy, Kara, I just know we will. This is the end of all the bad and all the struggling. The minute you get back we’re going to start the rest of forever._

_Not to get too ahead of myself though, because like you said, we still have ONE MONTH! But I’m just so excited. I know I’ve been stressed and worried sick the entire time you’ve been gone, but I almost feel like I don’t have to worry anymore because you’ll be home in no time. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not still worried sick, but I just feel like everything’s falling into place. So you better not ruin those things, Kara Danvers, you better keep your head down and make it back to me. I love you more than I can explain in a letter, but trust me, I love you so much. Possibly more than you will ever know, but I’ll try my best to show you._

_Love always,_

_Lena x_

            After finishing her letter, Lena picked up her sleeping pills, and with a sigh, swallowed two of them with a glass of water. Walking to her room, Lena slipped into bed and reached for the photo album on her bedside table. Flipping through the photos, she smiled and traced her finger of Kara’s face in each of them as she waited for sleep to come for her.

 

Tomorrow she’d be one day closer to her.


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to do this to you, and sorry that this is only the start of the angst. Just a reminder - please check the tags, because it is tagged properly, despite what you might be thinking at the end of the chapter.

            The next week dragged by, and then the week after, and suddenly, they found that there was only two weeks until Kara would be home. Just fourteen days and seven thousand miles separating them both. Soon enough there would be nothing between them, and Lena was counting down every second, even as time dragged on. She couldn’t help but feel a little bit bitter about the fact that time had flown by when Kara was here, and dragged while she’d been gone – but it was hard to stay upset when they were so close to being reunited.

 

            Sat in her office, Lena had had a productive day so far, and was watching the clock while she finished looking at the schematics and proposal for the new solar panels she was considering manufacturing as part of her clean energy technology range. Kara would be calling her any minute. After another ten minutes, Lena set aside the file, deciding that the new design would be a good replacement for the old solar panels they’d been selling, and with a sigh, stared at her laptop screen while she waited for Kara to call. Eventually, after another five minutes of waiting, the little icon popped up, signaling that Kara was trying to video call her, and Lena smiled widely as she accepted it.

 

            “Hi!” Lena said as soon as Kara’s face came up on screen. “I love you.”

 

 _“I love you too,”_ Kara beamed at her. _“How’s my favourite person in the entire world?”_

            “Yeah, Alex is fine, I haven’t spoken to her today,” Lena laughed as Kara rolled her eyes. “I’m good. Missing you, of course, but guess what.”

 

 _“TWO WEEKS!”_ Kara yelled, and both of them dissolved into laughter.

 

            “Oh god, I really do miss you,” Lena sighed, staring at Kara’s face with longing. “I’m so sick of missing you, I wish it had been two weeks already.”

 

 _“Me too, but we’re so close! We’re almost at then end now, can’t you feel it? Don’t lose hope now,”_ Kara said, smiling excitedly.

 

            “Never,” Lena promised. “If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s you. And of course I can feel it. It feels strange – as if the whole city is waiting for something. Even the weather is weird. It’s like the calm before the storm. You’re about to come back and wreak havoc here.”

 

            Kara laughed, rolling her eyes at Lena. _“Please – if it’s still intact after you and my sisters were let loose on it, I think it’s safe to say that I won’t be the one to bring National City to its knees. Besides, I’m the only one with common sense, according to your mom.”_

            “I don’t know, you’re the one who enlisted in the fucking army,” Lena said, raising her eyebrows as she looked at Kara with amusement.

 

 _“And I didn’t regret it for a second, until I met you,”_ Kara said, wrinkling her nose at Lena. _“Okay, well that’s not entirely true, but you get what I’m trying to say.”_

            “That you love me and you can’t believe you’ve had to spend even a second away from me and all my brilliance?” Lena asked, smirking as she arched an eyebrow.

 

 _“Exactly!”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “So, how was your day?” Lena asked with interest.

 

 _“The usual. More training, yet again. I can’t wait for that to be over,”_ Kara grumbled. _“No patrol today though, because I have another night recce patrol tonight.”_

            “Another one?” Lena said, frowning unhappily. “You’ve been doing more and more of them.”

 

 _“I know, but someone has to. Besides, they’re one of the safest patrols to go on if you think about it,”_ Kara told her with an encouraging smile.

 

            “Please, Kara, I’m not a child. You’re not safe anywhere over there,” Lena huffed. “Let alone when you leave camp. At any rate, just stay safe, please.”

 

 _“I always am,”_ Kara said with a small smile. _“But I will be especially careful, especially because we’re so close.”_

            “That reminds me – I was going to go shopping and get you some things for when you get back. Like a new toothbrush, some new pyjamas, all the movies you've missed - that sort of stuff. Is there anything you want me to get in particular?” Lena asked.

 

 _“All I need when I come home is you,”_ Kara smiled. _“And possibly two packs of cookie dough and some Chinese takeaway.”_

            “Okay, well I’ll pick you up some cookie dough, and our first stop on the way home from the airport will be at a certain restaurant that does the _best_ Chinese in National City, or so I’m told,” Lena said with a smile.

 

 _“I could marry you right now,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “No need to rush, we’ll have all the time in the world soon enough,” Lena winked, smiling widely.

 

 _“I can’t wait,”_ Kara said, her eyes shining with excitement behind her glasses. _“I can’t believe we’ve been dating for almost a year, if I was home just a week earlier we could’ve celebrated together.”_

            “That bloody baseball game,” Lena said, her dimples showing as she smiled at the memory.

 

 _“Can you believe how much has changed? I still think about that kiss, you know. Not the kiss cam one, the one under that lamppost. I’d never been kissed like that in my entire life. I felt like I’d never really been kissed before until that night,”_ Kara admitted, a slight blush colouring her cheeks as she smiled.

 

            “I surprised myself that night,” Lena laughed. “I’d kept all of my confusing feelings for you locked inside, and that was the first time I realized that I didn’t have to, because you said you liked me. That kiss, oh god, I could’ve stayed wrapped up in that moment for the rest of my life.”

 

 _“You, Miss Luthor, have such a way with words,”_ Kara laughed.

 

            “Shut up,” Lena laughed, rolling her eyes. “I mean it.”

 

 _“I know you do, and I felt the same way. I’m just glad I didn’t mess things up like I thought I had,”_ Kara said, giving Lena a wry smile. _“I thought for sure you were going to take off running. I had you pegged wrong, and I’m so glad that I did.”_

            “I’m not running anywhere,” Lena promised.

 

 _“I know you’re not, and I’m sorry I ever doubted your stubbornness,”_ Kara joked.

 

            “I’m kind of offended that you did. What kind of person do you take me for? Someone who would just roll over and give the world to the first person who showed them any love? Oh wait …” Lena joked.

 

 _“I’m not the first person to love you, although I’d like to think I’m the one who loves you the most,”_ Kara said. _“I’m willing to fight your mom for this title.”_

            “Ah ah ah, we’re not allowed to get into fist fights, remember? Your rules, not mine,” Lena laughed.

 

 _“You’ve got me there,”_ Kara laughed. _“I still love you the most though.”_

            “Undoubtedly,” Lena agreed. “And I’m grateful for it everyday, but for now, you had better get some rest before your patrol.”

 

 _“I don’t want to say goodbye,”_ Kara whined. _“I miss you.”_

            “I miss you too, and if you don’t take a little nap you’ll be falling asleep by the time I get to talk to you tomorrow,” Lena sternly told her. Kara let out a heavy sigh, but didn’t argue with Lena’s logic.

 

 _“Okay, fine, but only because I love you the most,”_ Kara said, cracking a smile.

 

            “And I love you the most too,” Lena replied, smiling lovingly back at her. “Please, stay safe, for me. I love you.”

 

 _“Always,”_ Kara promised. _“I love you too, more than life. Wait for me to come home.”_

\---

 

            That night, Lena was snuggled up in bed with a cup of tea, holding the newest letter off Kara in her hand. It was a bitterly cold night, especially for the start of March, and Lena was wrapped up in one of Kara’s sweatshirts, taking comfort in the lingering smell of Kara’s perfume. Gently, she slid a finger under the flap of the envelope and lifted it, pulling out the pieces of paper.

 

 

_To Lena,_

_I’m not sure at what point in time this letter is reaching you, but I’m guessing roughly TWO WEEKS!!!! I’m not going to stop yelling a countdown until I’m running off the plane to see you – yes, running, even if I hade to push a child over, just this once. Honestly, nothing can keep me away from you now – I’ll drag myself home, bloody and bruised if that’s what it takes, but I’m praying that it’s not because I’d hate for everything to go wrong right at the very end. No matter what though, I’ll be home on time, I promise. One way or another, I’ll make it back to you by the time I said._

_I’m more excited than I can ever possibly tell you, but just know that I’m driving everyone mad here with my constant talking about it (I think they’re jealous). I honestly feel like I’m going to burst with excitement and joy – I’ve been holding it in for so long, just waiting until I’m finally on that plane, making my way back to you. Now that I’m on the home stretch though, I can’t help but feel a bit guilty about all of the things that we’ve missed because of this stupid job. I never thought I would regret this job – of course it’s always been hard being away from my family – but there’s so many firsts that I promised you and I wish that I’d been there to celebrate them with you. I hope you were serious about celebrating them all when I get back though, because I want to make it up to you big time! Don’t think that I haven’t appreciated those firsts we’ve had any less though, because you’ve made me feel more loved and appreciated than I thought would be possible over here._

_So thank you, Lena, for truly showing me what it’s like to be loved. It means more to me than you will ever know, and it’s truly shown me what kind of person you are, and I can honestly say that there’s no one else I would rather marry. I mean, I think I already made that clear with the proposal, but your love has reinforced my decision every day. I promise to you that I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, because I know how hard it’s been for you these past few months, and I’ll do my best to make sure everything else is easy, because loving you is so easy, Lena. It’s so easy – as easy as breathing – and we’re going to have an easy life, full of love and happiness. I want that for us more than anything, and I can’t wait to come home and give you that. After all, it’s what you deserve. This is probably going to be the last letter I write you over here, and I want you to know that I’m filled with relief at the thought of our first last. I love you more than you can possibly imagine – or maybe you can, because over the past few months you’ve shown me just how much you love me. Thank you, I love you._

_I’ll see you soon,_

_Kara xxx_

            Smiling, Lena stuffed the letter back into the envelope and set it down on the bedside table. Picking up the two waiting pills on her counter, she downed them with the rest of her tea and pulled the locket out from under the sweatshirt, and opened it to reveal the photo of Kara. As sleep began to pull at the corners of Lena’s mind, she smiled at the photo, before snapping the locket shut and turning the lamp off.

 

            Tomorrow it would be thirteen days, and while Lena had never been superstitious, she couldn’t help but think about how wonderful that number seemed to her all of a sudden. Just thirteen days until she saw Kara again.

 

\---

 

            It was Saturday the next day, and Lena pottered around her apartment all morning, before deciding to go out and do a bit of shopping for some things for Kara for when she got home. The weather was eerily calm today, as if time was stood still, and Lena couldn’t help but appreciate the endless white sky above her and the absent wind. Spring was approaching, and the flowers would start blooming by the time Kara came home.

 

            Hurrying so that she would be home with plenty of time before Kara would call, Lena quickly grabbed a few things and rushed back home. It was only eleven thirty by that point, and not bothering to take her coat off, Lena dropped her bags down on the kitchen counter and walked up to the roof to water her plants. She smiled as she looked at the little plants off Kara that were starting to show through the dark soil, and Lena carefully poured water over them before making her way back downstairs. Shrugging out of her coat, Lena hung it up on the hook and walked down the hallway. She let out a frightened shout at the sight of Alex sat at the dinner table, staring straight ahead.

 

            “What the fuck, Alex, you scared the shit out of me,” Lena laughed, her hand covering her heart which was beating furiously in her chest. “How long hade you been sat there?”

 

            Alex turned to face Lena, her face pale and drawn, her eyes red, puffy, and void of any emotion, and without saying a word, Lena just knew. The breath raced out of her lungs, and Lena stumbled as she grasped the edge of the counter.

 

            “No,” she choked out between gasps of air. “No, no, no, no.”

 

            And Alex’s silence reinforced what Lena was thinking – the thing she had thought about, and dreaded, every single day since Kara had gone back. It couldn’t be real – it was some sick joke, and any second now Alex would laugh and Maggie would jump out and then Lena would yell at them and they’d order a pizza or something. But Alex didn’t laugh, she just stared blankly at Lena as fresh tears slid down her cheeks.

 

            “No, I-, it’s lunchtime, she’s going to call any minute, sh-she has to,” Lena choked out, her voice shaking as the weight of the situation set in.

 

            “I’m so sorry,” Alex whispered, covering her mouth with her hand as she choked out a sob, and that’s when Lena knew, _really_ knew, that it wasn’t a joke.

 

            All at once, everything came crashing down, and she fell to the floor, clutching the front of her sweater as if she was trying to grasp her breaking heart as it shattered into a million pieces. Gut-wrenching sobs wracked Lena’s entire body as she cried on the cold kitchen floor, with thoughts of Kara swirling around in her mind.

 

            Gone.

 

            She was gone.

 

            And then Lena was screaming – loud, wordless screams of pain and grief – so loud that they shook Alex out of her own grief, who half-tripped as she scrambled towards Lena and pulled her close, craving the comfort of someone else whose world was falling apart. Lena screamed until she couldn’t scream anymore, the sound muffled by Alex’s jumper as Lena pushed her face into her shoulder, and the two of them sobbed as they clutched at each other.

 

            Lena couldn’t remember anything else after that - she just cried and screamed until everything faded to black, with only one coherent thought breaking through the overwhelming heartbreak.

 

            She’s gone.


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KARA ISN'T DEAD!!!!!! Sorry I thought I made that explicitly clear when I removed the warning and put in the happy ending tag. Ya'll have got me STRESSED for my own fic, that I'm writing, where I know what happens lmao. Anyway, just to clarify, our girl isn't dead, she's presumed dead so everyone thinks that she is. Sorry about the angst!!!

            A bomb. That’s what Alex told her the next morning as they both sat side by side, still on the kitchen floor, wearing yesterday’s clothes. It had been a bomb that had taken Kara away from Lena. After Kara had finished talking to Lena the day before yesterday, she’d had a quick nap before going on night patrol for reconnaissance. It was safe, Kara had told her, the safest patrol to go on, until it hadn’t been. They’d come upon rebels as they were driving through the foothills, and there’d been a skirmish. Bombs had taken out the entire platoon. Fifteen deaths, but Lena couldn’t bring herself to care about the other fourteen, she only cared about one. The one that had shattered her heart to pieces and torn her world apart. Kara had been dead almost a full day before Lena had even found out, and a part of her craved for that ignorant bliss where she had still been full of happiness at the prospect of Kara coming home.

 

            Lena stared blankly at the wall as she listened to Alex talk, her voice barely above a hoarse whisper. “Th-they found them – the b-bodies – or w-what was left of them. Not all-, some w-weren’t identifiable, they’d been blown t-to pieces so not all-. H-hers was-, it-, there was n-nothing. They found h-her tags – that’s a-all there was. They can’t-, there’s no way t-to know for sure, but-”

 

            Tears streamed down Lena’s face, but she couldn’t make a noise – she was too exhausted. She couldn’t remember sleeping last night, but she couldn’t remember being awake. Everything had just been dark, until she came around to the sound of Alex’s voice. Her eyes were sore - red raw from crying – and they were glazed over and vacant as she stared at nothing. Lena couldn’t even see the wall; she could only see the horror that Alex described painted in her mind. For months this had been one of the scenarios that had tormented Lena’s sleep, night after night.

 

            Maggie didn’t know yet – she’d been working a case all day yesterday and last night, and hadn’t been home when Alex had received the call off Eliza. She’d find out soon enough though. She’d be coming home soon, to an empty apartment, and her first thought would be of Alex. She’d call her, and she’d come rushing over to Lena’s, and there would be nothing she could do to comfort her fiancé or the girl who was engaged to her now dead sister-in-law. Eliza would be on her way to National City by now too – come to grieve with her living daughter, and to make sure that she wouldn’t be alone in Midvale. And where did Lena fit into this? She had no one. She was alone. They would have each other, and she would be left alone to suffer with her broken heart and the suffocating grief – whether it be her choice or not, because if there was one thing Lena was good at, it was pushing people away, and right now, the only person she wanted was Kara.

 

            The sound of a phone ringing broke Lena out of her thoughts, and she turned her head stiffly, moving for the first time in hours as she turned to look at Alex. Answering her phone, Alex got out a couple of words before bursting into tears, and Lena turned away, staring back at the wall in front of her as she swallowed the lump in her throat. She was too numb to cry again – too broken to even make another sound.

 

            Lena wasn’t sure how long she sat there before Maggie came over. She wasn’t sure how long Alex sat their crying next to her until her fiancé burst into the apartment, running down the hallway and falling to her knees in front of the two of them. Lena was dimly aware of Maggie crying as she held Alex close, trying to reach for Lena too, but she couldn’t move – she was like a rock, stubborn and immovable as she sat frozen, tuning out the sound of the two girls talking in between sobs.

 

            The three of them were sat on the floor for ages, and it was Maggie who moved first, helping Alex to her feet. She tried to pull Lena up, but Lena couldn’t make her limbs work and Maggie crouched down in front of her, grabbing Lena’s shoulders and shaking her.

 

            “Come on, you need to get up now,” Maggie told her, her voice gentle but hoarse from crying. “You need to get up, Lena. Alex, please, help me. I don’t know-, I can’t-, FUCK! Just stand up, Lena, please.”

 

            Rough hands pulled her to her feet, and Lena blinked as she stared into Alex’s tired eyes. Maggie came back a few minutes later with Lena’s coat, and quickly set about shoving Lena’s arms into the sleeves while Lena stared blankly ahead, swaying slightly as she was jerked about by Maggie.

 

            “W-we need to go,” Maggie said, zipping the coat up. “We’ll go to mine. It’s going to be okay. We’ll be together, i-it’s going to be fine.”

 

            “No,” Lena croaked, speaking for the first time in almost a day. Her voice cracked, and her words came out barely above a whisper from where she’d spent hours screaming.

 

            “Lena, please,” Maggie begged, her voice wobbling as she tried to keep it together for the sake of the other two girls. Lena’s movements were jerky as she walked over to the sofa and sat down, staring at the blank TV screen before her. Giving in without a fight, Maggie led Alex over to the sofa and sat her down next to Lena, before walking away. A hot cup placed into Lena’s hand signified Maggie’s return, but Lena’s arms were dead weight and she couldn’t bring herself to raise the cup to her lips. She couldn’t bring herself to do anything.

 

\---

 

            She wasn’t sure how long the three of them sat in a row on the sofa, but it was long enough for Lena to dimly realize that the untouched cup in her hand had grown cold. No one said a word during that time, instead, they all sat there staring at the TV, numb with grief. The overhead skylight showed the passing of time, and the sun soon hit overhead, shining down on the three girls, before it followed its trajectory and made its descent.

 

            The sound of a key in the lock was the first sound that broke the silence, quickly followed by the clicking of heels on the floor. “I sat there for an hour looking like a fool, Lena Luthor! If you don’t want to come to therapy anymore you could’ve at least had the decency to call and tell me first!”

 

            Lillian’s furious voice floated down the hallway, growing louder as she approached. Lena didn’t even blink. She didn’t feel anything except the suffocating, all-consuming darkness that clouded her thoughts and made it hard to breathe.

 

            “Why on earth didn’t you tell me?” Lillian snapped as she walked into the kitchen. “Oh! Alex, Maggie, hello.”

 

            Maggie was the first person to stir, and she turned to look at Lillian, not saying a word. It was written all over her face.

 

            “Oh,” Lillian softly exclaimed. “Oh no. No, no, no. Kara. No. Oh god, Lena.” She dropped her bag and she crossed the room, rushing to crouch down in front of Lena, who was staring off into the distance. Lillian let out a small gasp as she took in Lena’s gaunt face and hollow eyes, a drastic change to how she’d looked only a day ago. Her mom’s hands gently pried the cold cup of tea out of Lena’s hands, and took them in her own warm ones.

 

            “Lena, honey, look at me,” Lillian said in a low voice. Lena blinked, her eyes focusing on her mom’s face. “I-“

 

            “Don’t,” Lena choked out. “Don’t you dare say it.” Because Lillian had been right. After everything they’d been through, her mom ended up right, as always. Hadn’t she warned Lena about this? They’d argued and fought over the possibility of Kara not coming home, and in the end, her mom had been right. She’d told Lena so, and she’d ignored it.

 

            “I’m sorry,” Lillian finished, ignoring Lena’s warning. She reached forward to pull Lena close, but was met by Lena pulling away. “Lena, please. Let me help you.”

 

            “Help?” Lena echoed, her voice harsh as she let out a hysterical laugh, devoid of any humour or any feelings what so ever. “You can’t help. You can’t do anything. I don’t _want_ you here.”

 

            “Sweetie, please,” Lillian begged, a pained expression on her face as she looked at her daughter. Lena’s breathing turned ragged and she felt tears she didn’t even know she could form well up in her eyes. Lena shot up out of her seat and Lillian got up from her crouched position, reaching for her daughter. Lena fought her off.

 

            “Just go! Get out of here!” Lena yelled at her, her voice cracking as she sobbed.

 

            “Oh, my little girl,” Lillian murmured, reaching for her again, and this time Lena didn’t fight her off. She let her mom wrap her in her arms, and all of the fight drained out of Lena as she sagged in her mom’s arms. Slowly, Lillian lowered them both to the floor, holding Lena close as she gently rocked her back and forth. Alex and Maggie were silent on the sofa, even as Alex silently cried, a hand clapped over her mouth to muffle any sounds.

 

            For the first time that she could remember, Lena let her mom cradle her against her chest, crying while Lillian stroked her hair and mumbled soothing words of nonsense to her. It was a long while before Lena stopped crying again, but still Lillian held her close, her own heart hurting at the sight of her daughter grieving for her lost love. Eventually, Lillian moved to stand and gently lifted Lena to her feet with her.

 

            “Come on, sweetie,” Lillian murmured, one hand pressing against Lena’s back and the other holding one of the hands as she led her past the sofa. She turned to look at Maggie, who had her arms wrapped around Alex. “Maggie, come on.”

 

            Lena let her mom guide her towards her bathroom, and let her lead her over to the small stool in front of the vanity. The sound of running water dimly registered in Lena’s ears, along with the low voices of Maggie and her mom – everything sounded so distant to Lena, like she was hearing it from underwater. Her mom’s gentle hands started pulling off the coat that Lena was still wearing from when Maggie had forced her into it, and the rest of her clothes soon followed. The water was too hot against Lena’s skin as she sat in the bath with her knees drawn up to her chest, but she didn’t care - it was the only thing she could feel. After realizing that Lena wasn’t going to move, Lillian quickly set about washing her daughter’s hair and scrubbing her clean, before helping her out of the bath and wrapping Lena in a fluffy towel.

 

            Dressed in clean pyjamas, Lillian led Lena into her bedroom and helped put her to bed, sitting down on the edge and stroking Lena’s hair while she looked at the vacant expression on her daughter’s face. Lena just stared at the ceiling, her mind still reeling. This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t real. It was just a bad dream – another nightmare – she was just having trouble waking up because of the sleeping pills that were holding her under. The bed jostled as Maggie helped a freshly showered Alex into bed next to Lena, tucking her in and placing a kiss on her forehead.

 

            “You should get some rest,” Lillian murmured to Maggie, even though her eyes never strayed from Lena’s face.

 

            “I’m going to sit here with them, for a while,” Maggie whispered to Lillian, who nodded. “Eliza should be here soon.”

 

\---

            Things were dark for a little while, and Lena couldn’t tell if she’d slept or if she’d just blocked everything out and let the grief consume her as she lay in bed next to Alex. The only thing she was sure of, when she became aware of her surroundings again, was that Kara wasn’t here. She was still gone. Slowly, Lena found it within herself to drag herself out of bed and stumble over to the bedroom door. Walking down the hallway, Lena could hear her mom’s voice – barely above a whisper, and too low to hear what she was saying. As she walked out of the hallway, Lena was met with the sight of Maggie sleeping on the sofa, a blanket carefully draped over her – and Lena dimly acknowledged the fact that her mom had been taking care of them all. And there was Lillian – sat on the sofa with her arms around Eliza, who looked like she hadn’t slept in a week as she cried.

 

            As Lena moved closer, Lillian and Eliza both looked up, and her mom’s eyebrows knit together in a frown as she looked at Lena with concern. “Darling, you should be asleep,” Lillian said, looking torn between rushing over to her daughter and consoling Eliza, who was still crying.

 

            Lena didn’t say anything, she just let out a sob and rushed over to Eliza. The other woman extracted herself from Lillian’s embrace and opened her arms as Lena collapsed into them, her entire body shaking as Eliza held her close. Lillian stroked Lena’s hair once, before getting up and walking into the kitchen.

 

            “I’m s-so sorry, Eliza,” Lena sobbed uncontrollably into the woman’s shoulder.

 

            “Shh,” Eliza murmured, rubbing Lena’s back, even as she cried herself. They both sat there crying, listening to Lillian bustle around the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible so Maggie didn’t wake up. If she wasn’t so heartbroken and grieving for her loss, Lena would’ve found it funny that out of everyone, it was Lillian who was taking care of them all. A few minutes later, Lillian brought them over some tea, and Lena clutched hers in cold hands, taking comfort in the warmth of the mug, even though she couldn’t bring herself to drink it. Lillian’s hand on her shoulder brought Lena out of her dark thoughts, and a plate of toast was put on her lap.

 

            “You need to eat, honey,” Lillian said.

 

            “I-, I’m not hungry,” Lena hoarsely whispered.

 

            “Your mom is right,” Eliza choked out, and that made Lena’s sobs start up again, because Eliza was probably wishing that she could be telling Kara what to do right now, and she never would again. And so, in between sobs, Lena took small bites of toast as a fresh wave of hurt and longing swept over her. One day. It had only been one day. How was she supposed to live a lifetime like this? By the time Lena drained her cup of tea, she was starting to feel drowsy, and beneath all the grief there was a nagging feeling at the back of her mind that her mom had spiked her tea with sleeping pills.

 

            Lena’s last thought before sleep overtook her was of Kara’s face – that crinkle-eyed smile she loved so much, the sparkle in her blue eyes behind the lenses of her glasses, the curve of her lips. For once, Lena was filled with relief at the thought of sleeping for a few hours, if only to escape her grief for a little while.


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for all your comments - I appreciate them all. Also just a heads up that I'm not going to drag the angst out for too long because I'm not a sadist lmao.

            Four days.

 

            It had only been four days, but it felt like an eternity. Every second dragged, every moment was agonizing, and Lena fell to pieces.

 

            She lay in bed all day every day, not eating, not talking – just crying until she exhausted herself, and then she’d drink the tea that her mom had spiked with sleeping pills, and she’d let sleep overcome her. But even that wasn’t much of a relief. Before her mind had tortured her sleep with dreams about all the ways Kara could die over there in Afghanistan, but now, Lena’s worst fears had come to pass. Now, her mind tortured her in new ways, and every time she slept she was met with dreams of Kara laying curled up next to her in bed, or throwing her head back laughing at some joke Lena made as they walked down the street. All the things she’d taken for granted came back to haunt her in the worst way possible, and those few moments when Lena woke up left her thinking that those dreams were real. But they weren’t, and each time the weight of losing Kara would come crashing down on her, and the cycle would repeat itself.

 

            After that first day, Alex, Maggie and Eliza went back to Maggie’s apartment, and Maggie came over every day to check on Lena. She wouldn’t speak to Maggie when she visited, she’d just stare at the ceiling, until Lillian came in and they’d have a whispered conversation that Lena tuned out. Then she’d leave, promising to come back tomorrow, even though Lena wished that she wouldn’t.

 

            Lillian dragged Lena out of bed every day, just for five minutes so she could shower and change into clean pyjamas, but besides that, Lena refused to move. No matter how much Lillian prompted her, she would lay in bed and ignore whatever her mom was saying. There was nothing she could say that could comfort Lena now - nothing that could take her pain away. Except there was one thing that could numb it, and on the fifth day, when her mom left her side long enough to sleep for a while, Lena dragged herself out of bed and made her way over to her liquor cabinet. If she couldn’t make it go away, she could drink until she didn’t hurt anymore.

 

            And that was how Maggie found Lena, sat on the sofa nursing a full glass of whiskey, already deep into her cups by the way she was looking at Maggie when she walked in.

 

            “You’re up,” Maggie quietly exclaimed, blinking in surprise at the sight of Lena out of bed. Taking a big sip of her drink, Lena ignored Maggie’s words. Hesitantly, Maggie hovered near the kitchen counter, watching Lena with uncertainty. “We-, I-, h-how are you?”

 

            Lena didn’t reply, she just drained the rest of her glass and staggered to her feet. She stumbled slightly, before righting herself and lurching towards the liquor cabinet. As she reached for the vodka this time, a hand gripped her wrist. Looking up in surprise, Lena blinked at Maggie as she waited for her to let go.

 

            “I think you’ve had enough,” Maggie said. Wrenching her hand out of Maggie’s grip, Lena poured a large measure of vodka into her tumbler, ignoring the quiet sigh that came from the other girl. “Lena, I-I know it’s hard. I-, we need you.”

 

            “Need me?” Lena drunkenly laughed, a humourless sound that was full of bitterness. A lump rose in her throat and tears pricked her eyes, and Lena downed her drink all at once. “Nobody needs me. The only person who did is dead. Sh-she’s dead, Maggie. Blown to pieces, and I-I wasn’t there to s-save her. She promised. She p-promised she’d come home, and she-“

 

            “Shh, it’s okay,” Maggie said, reaching for the glass of vodka.

 

            “IT’S NOT OKAY!” Lena yelled, throwing the empty glass against the wall as she let out a heart-wrenching sob. “TELL ME WHAT PART OF THIS IS OKAY? TELL ME.”

 

            “I’m sorry. I really am,” Maggie said, giving Lena a pained look as her eyes shone with unshed tears. “But this isn’t fair Lena. Y-you can’t just shut yourself off. W-we need you. You’re not the only one wh-who lost her. Eliza just lost one daughter, and I won’t let her lose you too. And I-I can’t lose two sisters.”

 

            “I am _not_ your sister,” Lena harshly spat at Maggie. “We’re not anything.”

 

            “Don’t you dare,” Maggie warned her, her voice shaking slightly. “Don’t you dare say that. Not after everything we’ve been through.”

 

            “I DON’T FUCKING CARE,” Lena shouted, picking up one of the bottles and throwing that against the wall too, sending tequila splashing everywhere as the glass smashed. She swiped at the other bottles, knocking them to the floor, smashing them until she was covered in a dozen kinds of alcohol and stood amidst a pile of glass.

 

            Maggie reached for one of the untouched bottles and picked it up, dashing it against the wall. “Here let me help. Do you feel better? Is it helping you _feel_ anything?”

 

            Lena let out a shout of anger, smashing the rest of the bottles before grabbing Maggie by the lapel of her leather jacket, coming eye to eye with her. She hesitated for a moment, bubbling with rage, but she didn’t know what to do next. What was she going to do, hit Maggie?

 

            “Are you finished?” Maggie asked, and then Lena buried her head into the shorter girl’s shoulder as her body was wracked with sobs. She half-collapsed in Maggie’s arms, and Maggie slowly lowered them to the floor, ignoring the pool of alcohol as it soaked into their clothes. It was a few moments before Lena realized that Maggie was crying too, and that made it worse, because Maggie was always the strong one, and besides the moment she found out, she’d been so strong.

 

            Lena cried until she exhausted herself again, and the two of them sat on the floor, sniffling as they calmed themselves down. Neither of them moved until Lillian walked out of the bedroom she was staying in and let out a loud gasp. “Lena, wha-” Lillian exclaimed, her eyes widening at the sight of all the shattered glass and the giant pool of liquid oozing along the floor. “You’re bleeding.”

 

            Dimly aware of a stinging feeling in her feet, Lena assumed that she’d stood on the glass in her anger. She couldn’t bring herself to care – it didn’t even hurt. The only thing hurting right now was her heart.

 

            “Sh-she’s gone,” Lena choked out.

 

            Maggie pulled Lena into a rough hug, squeezing her tightly and saying all the things she couldn’t say out loud, before she pulled back. Climbing to her feet, Maggie mumbled something about finding a mop, and Lillian ordered Lena to stay where she was, before wandering off to fetch a first aid kit. While Maggie mopped up the alcohol and swept up the glass, Lillian knelt on the floor with Lena’s feet in her lap, carefully picking out shards of glass and stitching up the deeper cuts. Lena didn’t so much as flinch the entire time – she didn’t feel anything.

 

\---

 

            Cleaned up and dressed in new pyjamas, Lena found herself back in bed, curled up next to her mom, who was gently stroking Lena’s hair, as she cried. Her mom had barely left her side since the moment she’d gotten here, and in a twisted way, Lena had never been closer to her mom and she hated it. She hated the fact that Kara’s death had left her so helpless that she was incapable of doing anything herself, and left it up to her mom to take care of her as best as she could. She hated that this was the reason that enabled them to finally tear down the last few walls between them, and let Lillian hold her broken daughter in her arms. But most of all, Lena hated the fact that Kara wasn’t here – and Lena couldn’t help but think about how Kara had broken her promise.

 

            As Lena’s breathing levelled out, Lillian held her close, rubbing soothing circles into her daughter’s back. Lena tried closing her eyes, but all she saw was Kara’s face etched on the insides of her eyelids, so instead, she stared at the wall with unfocused eyes.

 

            “When you were thirteen, you got thrown off the new horse you’d gotten for your birthday the week before. You’d broken your arm and you cried the entire car ride to the hospital. You wouldn’t let me hold your hand. And when you were eighteen, your father died and you wouldn’t let me hold you at the funeral, not so much as a hand on your shoulder. And then you refused to go to your brother’s funeral after everything happened there. The point is I-I know how much you’re hurting, I know your heart is breaking, because this is the first time I-, the first time you’ve ever needed me. Needed me to hold you, and to help you and I just-, I’m sorry, because I don’t know how to help you. I can’t help you and I can’t tell you it’ll be okay, and I’m so sorry.”

 

            And then Lena was crying again – loud, broken sobs - and all Lillian could do was make soothing sounds and stroke Lena’s hair while she fell to pieces. “It _hurts_ ,” Lena cried, burying her face in Lillian’s shirt, which was already soaking wet from the last round of tears. “How do I make it stop? I just-, I need it to stop. I need her back.”

 

            “I’m sorry,” Lillian murmured, feeling helpless. The last thing Lena heard before she slipped into unconsciousness was her mom’s whispered apology, and Lena felt worse, because her mom always knew what to do – she always had an opinion. For her to admit that she couldn’t help – it reinforced Lena’s grief and heartbreak, because there was nothing else to do except to dwell in misery and pray that one day that it wouldn’t hurt anymore. But Lena knew that her hope was in vain, because in her heart, she knew that she would hurt everyday for the rest of her life.

 

\---

 

            She woke up again, blinking away sleep and the latest dream of Kara. They’d been curled up beneath a blanket on the sofa, holding cups of hot chocolate while Lena read aloud from the poetry book she held. The gentle sound of classical music drifted from the record playing, and Kara lay with her head on Lena’s chest, her eyes closed as she smiled slightly at the sound of the word’s coming out of Lena’s mouth. Rubbing a hand over her face and running her fingers through her hair, Lena choked back a sob and tried to ignore the prickling feeling that stung her eyes. She was gone. Still gone. Everything reminded her of Kara and Lena wanted to scream.

 

            Clambering out of bed, Lena padded over to her closet, ignoring the dull pain in her bandaged feet, and grabbed a fistful of clothes. She threw them on her bedroom floor, before carrying on rifling through the rest of her clothes – specifically avoiding anything that was Kara’s or had a distinct memory of Kara associated with it. That left Lena with a handful of her more professional looking suits and a few expensive dresses that she hadn’t had the chance to wear. Grabbing her overnight back, Lena carried it back to her bedroom before walking back into her closet for underwear and pyjamas. Walking back into her bedroom, Lena stopped in her tracks as she came face to face with Alex. She looked just as bad as Lena.

 

            “What are you doing?” Alex asked, her voice coming out hoarse from all the crying she’d done over the past four days. Lena ignored her and knelt down on the cold floor, amidst all of her clothes. She messily stuffed handfuls of clothes into the bag, not taking the time to fold them, and she didn’t stop until Alex crossed the room and tore the shirt out of her hand.

 

            “What are you doing?” Alex repeated.

 

            “I have t-to go,” Lena choked out.

 

            “Go? Go where?” Alex asked, grabbing Lena’s wrist as she tried to stuff more clothes into her bag.

 

            “Somewhere. Anywhere. Just-, I can’t be here. Not here,” Lena said, trying to pull her hand back.

 

            “No,” Alex firmly told her. “No, you’re not leaving.”

 

            “You don’t get to decide that for me,” Lena snapped. “I get to decide.”

 

            “No, you don’t,” Alex said, grabbing Lena’s bag and pulling all of the clothes back out and flinging them everywhere. “You can’t walk away from this.”

 

            Lena scrambled for her clothes, trying to rip the bag out of Alex’s hand as she tried to repack her clothes, but Alex fought her off and Lena let out a frustrated yell. She lurched to her feet, and Alex mimicked her movements, standing across from Lena with her arms folded across her chest and a look of anger on her face. Lena’s own anger bubbled up and she clenched her jaw as, yet again, tears threatened to fall.

 

            “I CAN’T STAY HERE,” Lena yelled. “I CAN’T STAY IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE. IN THIS FUCKING CITY. I CAN’T MOVE AN _INCH_ WITHOUT BEING REMINDED OF HER!”

 

            “NEITHER CAN I!” Alex shouted back before she was cut off by a choked up sob. “You think you’re the only person who lost her? Y-you think that running away is going to _help_? You’re smarter than that Lena. You might’ve lost the love of your life, but I just lost my _sister_. Fourteen years! I’ve known her f-for _fourteen_ years, and I know how you feel – better than anyone else. I _know_ , and I need you. I _need_ you here to h-help me, because I … I can’t do this.”

 

            Tears were streaming down Lena’s face and she was breathing unevenly as her shoulders shook, and she was dimly aware of Lillian silently appearing in the doorway, taking in the messy scene before her. “That’s why I have to go! I need to go s-somewhere where she-, w-where I can go and b-be alone. Maybe it w-won’t hurt anymore.”

 

            “And how does that help?” Alex snapped. “H-how does that make you not _hurt_?”

 

            Lena opened and closed her mouth a few times before she fell to the floor, cradling her knees to her chest as she cried amongst the pile of her clothes. “I can’t stay here. I can’t look at the b-bed without being reminded about a-all the times I woke up next to h-her. Or my c-couch where she admitted she l-loved me. God, I can’t e-even look at _you_. I look at you and I’m reminded of _her_.”

 

            Alex dropped to the floor in front of Lena and grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her towards her. She cupped the back of Lena’s head and held her close as she cried into her shoulder. “I’m sorry,” Alex sobbed into Lena’s shoulder, her choked up voice muffled by Lena’s clothes. “God, I’m so sorry.”

 

            Lena struggled in Alex’s arms for a moment, trying to push her away. “I can’t-“

 

            “Please, Lena, p-please. We can’t do this alone. She would want-“

 

            “Don’t,” Lena snapped, her voice cracking on the word. “Don’t tell me what she would want.”

 

            “I need m-my sister,” Alex sobbed. “I need both of you.”

 

            And then Lena stopped struggling, because she needed Alex too. It hurt more than she thought was possibly imaginable, but she needed the people that Kara loved. She’d needed them when Kara had been deployed, and she needed them now more than ever. Letting out a gut-wrenching sob, Lena buried her face in Alex’s shoulder and fell to pieces.

 

            “I’m sorry,” she choked out, over and over again as sobs wracked her whole body.

 

            Lena didn’t stop crying for the rest of the day, and as soon as it was dark enough, Lena hoarsely asked her mom for some sleeping pills – seeking the comforting release of sleep. At least for a few hours she could be happy in her dreams, with Kara, right where she belonged.


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been informed that I am in fact a sadist, so enjoy some more pain.

            A week. Only a _single_ week had passed, and Lena couldn’t bear the thought of living through another week that long. It had stretched on for an eternity – even though Lena spent as much time as possible sleeping with the aid of her pills. Still, she’d barely eaten a thing, and the waistband of her sweatpants had to be pulled in a little tighter to stop them sagging around her hips, and the circles under her sunken eyes didn’t go away, no matter how much she slept. Lena had always been pale, but her face looked sallow as if she was sick – and she was; she was sick with grief and the worst part was that there was no cure for it. And that was only the first _week_. She would have a lifetime of this.

 

            And yet, as painful as it was, Kara still consumed every single waking thought of Lena’s. It was like an endless loop inside Lena’s mind – her face, her eyes, her lips, her mouth, her laugh, the smell of her perfume, how soft her hair felt as Lena ran her fingers through it. Lena remembered it all. Every moment was a fresh memory come to torture her, and after yet another dream of Kara being home safe with her, Lena no longer found any comfort in sleep.

 

            As hard as she tried, there was nothing Lillian could do except sit by her daughter’s side and gently try and prompt her to eat or drink and take a shower and get changed. All that was left behind was the ghost of the girl Lillian had raised and it was frightening. Lena had always been a fighter – physically, verbally and emotionally. She’d struggled to open herself up to people, to let them inside, but she had with Kara and that had been her downfall. Lena had always been stubborn, but now, she could barely get out of bed. There was nothing she could do to fight away the pain of losing the centre of her world, and instead, she let her grief consume her and become and silent statue, laying in bed day after day.

 

            Eliza stopped by once – bringing herself out of her own grief to come and check up on Lena. Her priorities were always for her daughter’s, and Lena was no less her daughter for her having lost another one, that much was for sure. Lena had been asleep when Eliza had visited, and she was glad for it because she didn’t think she could look into the hollow eyes of the woman who had just lost her daughter. She didn’t think she could bear another reminder of everything Kara had given her, because without Kara, she never would’ve had a loving family, and it even stung to think about how Lillian was only here right now because of everything Kara had done for Lena. She’d come into Lena’s life, flipped everything upside down and had left Lena alone to adjust to it, and Lena didn’t know how to cope.

 

            After her shouting match and breakdown with Alex, Lena had become slightly more productive, to the extent that she tore her apartment apart, finding anything that reminded her of Kara and locking it in her bedroom, before moving into one of the spare rooms that wasn’t contaminated by any thought or memory of Kara. Lillian had even helped her move both of her sofas into the bedroom too, without a single word of protest – she understood that Lena needed to do this, it was what she had always done, locked her pain away where it couldn’t touch her anymore. So everything went into Lena’s bedroom, leaving the apartment looking very bare because Kara had been etched into the very walls of the place. Everything but the engagement ring on her finger – Lena couldn’t bring herself to remove it, and instead, had broken down on her bedroom floor, surrounded by everything that reminded her of Kara.

 

            And that was what led Lena to leave her apartment for the first time in a week. By the end of the week, she found herself back in her bedroom, sobbing on the floor and holding her hand with the ring on it to her chest. She was surrounded by everything that reminded her of Kara, and she’d never felt more alone in her entire life. It was like she was surrounded by all the memories of Kara, but with none of the life behind them. The cluttered mess was a jumbled mixture of clashing memories, and Lena’s heart hurt. She needed to go somewhere – somewhere where she could feel Kara. Somewhere free of all the stale reminders, where she was still alive. And Lena knew just the place.

 

            Jumping up – before she could change her mind – Lena ran out of her bedroom, down the hallway and past the kitchen. At the front door, she pulled her coat on over her pyjamas – not caring what she looked like – and shoved her feet into her boots. The door slammed behind her as she walked out, and before Lillian could figure out that she’d gone, Lena was already stepping into the elevator as the doors slid open.

 

\---

 

            She drove for over an hour, ignoring the constant ringing and vibrating of her phone as she made her way out of the city limits and into the countryside. After a few wrong turns, Lena found the right place, and pulled over on the side of the road. It was still light, but the grey sky did nothing to boost Lena’s spirits, and she knew she’d have to be quick, or she’d be left wandering in the dark, and probably the pouring rain. Setting off through the trees, Lena started hiking.

 

            It took her over forty minutes to find the crescent shaped meadow. She fell over a few times, and was covered in dirt and mud, the palms of her hands covered in shallow grazes – but eventually, Lena made it. They’d come here for a picnic, in the spring, and it was a stark contrast to what lay before Lena now. Winter had stripped most of the trees bare of their leaves, and left the flowers that had dotted the grass last time shriveled up and dead. The only think that was the same was the river below Lena as she stood on the edge of the cliff and looked down at the fast running water beneath her. She thought it would help to come here – that it would feel like Kara was still alive, like she would come bursting out of the trees at any moment, laughing with her camera in hand – but it didn’t help. In some ways it made her feel worse – empty.

 

            Nothing was alive here.

 

            Lena stood on the edge of the cliff and let out a loud scream, full of anguish. She screamed for ages, until her voice was ragged and there were tears streaming down her face.

 

            “YOU LEFT ME ALONE,” Lena shouted, the wind snatching away her words as soon as they left her mouth. “YOU PROMISED ME. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS.”

 

            A big gust of wind buffeted Lena, and she fell to her knees at the edge of the cliff. Her hands clutched fistfuls of the grass that was starting to grow back after the long winter, and Lena gasped for air as she choked on her sobs. It hurt to breathe – she had never been in as much pain as she had been over the past week.

 

            “Where are you?” Lena whispered, her voice hitching as she spoke. “Please. Come back to me. Come home. Please, I’m waiting.”

 

            And then the rain started to fall, and Lena knelt on the edge of the cliff as large drops of rain soaked her. She didn’t care though – she couldn’t move, and she just sat there quietly crying as cold trickles of water snaked down the back of her neck and down the collar of her coat. This was different. She didn’t scream or choke on her sobs, she just knelt there and quietly cried in defeat. Kara was gone – she was really gone, and there was nothing Lena could do to change that. No amount of begging would bring her back.

 

            She wasn’t sure how long she knelt there, but when she finally stopped crying Lena was soaked to her core. Climbing to her feet, Lena looked around the meadow, before heading towards where she’d come through the trees. As she made her way back to her car the last rays of sunlight disappeared over the horizon, plunging Lena into darkness as she stumbled over tree roots and fallen branches. After half an hour of tripping and sliding on fallen leaves, Lena broke through the tree line and trudged over to her car. She climbed into the warm interior and sat there for a moment, taking a deep breath and wiping her wet hair out of her face. Starting the car, Lena switched her headlights on and made her way back towards the city.

 

\---

 

            Lena opened her apartment door and walked inside, feeling drained and defeated. She was still damp but she couldn’t bring herself to care as she dragged her feet towards the kitchen. Before she’d even made it a couple of steps inside, she was met by Lillian, who let out a sigh of relief.

 

            “Thank god,” Lillian exclaimed, rushing towards Lena. “Don’t ever do that to me ever again!” Lena didn’t so much as blink, she just stood there like a zombie as Lillian lifted her chin and inspected her face. “You’re soaking! Come on, let’s get you changed into something warm.”

 

            She helped Lena out of her coat and hung it up by the door before she pressed a gentle hand to Lena’s lower back and guided her down the hallway. As Lena walked out into the kitchen, she was met by the sight of Alex, Maggie and Eliza sat on the barstools behind the kitchen counter.

 

            “Eliza,” Lena choked out, her eyes falling on the other woman, who climbed off the stool.

 

            “We’ve been worried sick,” Eliza said, her voice sounding rough and raw with emotion. “Are you okay?” Surprised that she still had some tears left in her, Lena burst out crying and ran into the older woman’s arms. Eliza’s maternal instincts never failed to make Lena feel like a little girl, and right now, all she wanted was someone to take care of her, because Alex had been right – they all needed each other now. She’d been selfish, pushing everyone away, but it was the only thing she’d ever known how to do, and the only thing that had changed that was Kara. Right now though, Lena was sick with grief and she just wanted someone who loved Kara to hold her close and tell her it was going to be okay – even though it wouldn’t be. Ignoring how damp she was, Lena sobbed into Eliza’s shirt, taking comfort in the familiar warmth of the woman’s arms.

 

            “Come on sweetie, you need to get changed. You’ll catch a cold if we don’t get you out of those warm clothes,” Eliza said, gently smoothing Lena’s hair and kissing her on the top of her head.

 

            “No, you should sleep, Lillian,” Lena heard Alex say in a quiet voice. “I’ll look after her.” She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and pulled out of Eliza’s embrace to face Alex, who gave her a small nod, even as her eyes filled with tears.

 

            “Come on,” Alex mumbled. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

 

            Lena let Alex and Maggie lead her down one of the hallways, and into Lena’s bedroom. They paused for a moment, taking in the chaotic mess in Lena’s room, before marching her into her bathroom. Maggie put the plug in the bath and started running hot water, while Alex stripped the sodden clothes off Lena, who couldn’t find it within herself to care about Alex and Maggie having to bathe her like she was a child. She shivered in the cold bathroom, and quickly got into the scalding water, ignoring the searing heat as it seeped into her cold bones.

 

            “Oh,” Maggie mumbled, reaching for the taps. “Um, how about a little bit more cold water?” Lena shrugged indifferently, sliding down the bath until she could submerge her head underwater. She held her breath as she felt herself warm up in the bath, listening to the muted voices of Alex and Maggie as they talked. It wasn’t until rough hands yanked her up that she reemerged from the water.

 

            “What the fuck are you doing?” Maggie growled, giving Lena’s shoulders a shake.

 

            “I can hold my breath for six minutes,” Lena dully replied, her voice monotonous as she focused on Maggie’s face, which was contorted into a look of anger.

 

            “Oh. What the fuck. Okay,” Maggie mumbled, the anger seeping out of her as she let go of Lena. “Just … don’t do that.” Lena nodded, mumbling an apology as she submerged herself in the water again, this time keeping her head above it.

 

            “Hey, sit up. I’ll wash your hair for you,” Alex murmured, dragging the stool in front of the vanity over to the bath. Lena obeyed and Maggie mumbled something about fetching some clean pyjamas and walked out of the bathroom.

 

            Lena was silent as Alex squirted some shampoo into her hands and started rubbing it into Lena’s hair. After a few moments, Lena swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry.”

 

            “It’s fine, you just worried us,” Alex said.

 

            “Not that. Well, I _am_ sorry about that, but that’s not-, you-, I’ve been selfish. I-I know I’m not the only one who-, you were right, it’s been hard-,” Lena stammered, trying to find the right words to choke out.

 

            “It’s okay,” Alex murmured. “I-I know. You’re upset, whatever you said – it doesn’t matter.”

 

            “It _does_ ,” Lena cried. “Y-you’re my family. You’re family, Alex. I-I can’t lose anyone else. I don’t know what I-, I can’t _leave_.”

 

            “Sh, it’s okay,” Alex reassured her. “You’re my little sister.” Her voice cracked then, and a lump formed in Lena’s throat because she knew that Alex was thinking about her _actual_ little sister. Her little sister she’d never get to see again.

 

            “You were right – i-it hurts to be here. I-, if you want to- to go, then go. But I’m coming with you,” Alex told her, her voice shaking as she spoke. Lena froze as she listened. “W-we can go to Metropolis. Sh-she never got to go.”

 

            “No,” Lena whispered. “I-I was _wrong_ , Alex. I can’t leave, I-I can’t leave _her_. She’s all I have, in _this_ place. W-we only ever got to be _here_ , and at your mom’s. I can't leave her.”

 

            She didn’t get a chance to hear Alex’s reply before Maggie slipped back in, carrying a pile of clothes for Lena. “So … can I ask about the bedroom? Because I saw the couches and I have a lot of questions.”

 

            “I’m trying t-to put everything that reminds me …” Lena trailed off, not finishing her sentence. The three of them knew why, she didn’t have to elaborate anymore than that. They were silent for a few moments as Alex finished washing Lena’s hair and she rinsed out the shampoo. Maggie threw Lena a towel as she let the plug out, and she quickly wrapped it around herself as she climbed out of the bath.

 

            “So, where did you go?” Alex asked after a moment.

 

            “The meadow. We went there for a picnic once,” Lena whispered as she pulled her clothes on. “I thought-, I don’t know, that she’d feel … closer there. Like it might h-hurt less.”

 

            Alex nodded, giving Lena a pained look and Lena knew she completely understood and was wishing for the same thing – the same kind of release. She looked awful, if Lena was being honest, and if she’d looked in the mirror at all over the past week, she knew she’d find a similar appearance staring back at her. There was just something about Alex’s face – her grief was etched in every line of it, but especially her eyes. Surprising them both, Lena inched closer to Alex and wrapped her arms around her, giving the other girl a gentle squeeze. They stood like that for a few minutes, and Lena could feel Alex shaking as she held her pain inside and tried not to break down again.

 

            “We’ll be okay,” Lena whispered, repeating the words she’d been told a thousand times over the past week.

 

\---

 

            After quietly apologizing to her mom and Eliza, Lena let herself be taken to bed. Lillian pulled back the covers while Eliza guided Lena onto the bed, and then tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead.

 

            “I’ll get you some tea, and something to eat,” Lillian murmured, turning to leave.

 

            “Mom,” Lena croaked, and Lillian looked at her with eyes full of concern and pity. “Can you not spike the tea? I just-, I’ll take the pills later. I don’t want to sleep yet though.”

 

            Lillian blinked in surprise and looked slightly ashamed at being caught. “Oh, yes, of course.” She turned to leave again, but was stopped in her tracks when Lena called her again.

 

            “I love you,” Lena choked out, her eyes glistening with tears. That was probably the first time she’d ever said she loved her mom without her mom saying it first.

 

            “I love you too,” Lillian replied, giving her daughter a small smile. She slipped out of the room, leaving Lena alone with Eliza, who was perched on the edge of the bed.

 

            “I love you too, Eliza,” Lena told her, taking a deep, shuddering breath as she tried to keep herself from crying. “I’m sorry.”

 

            “Sh, it’s okay. You’re safe, that’s all that matters to me,” Eliza said, gently cupping Lena’s cheek. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

 

            Lillian returned a moment later with a bowl of soup and some bread, as well as a cup of tea, and set it all down on the nightstand. She had a quiet conversation with Eliza, and at the other woman’s advice, decided to go and get some rest. Kissing her daughter on the head, Lillian left them alone. Picking up the bowl of soup, Eliza scooped some onto the spoon and held it out towards Lena, who let out a small laugh.

 

            “I can feed myself,” she said, giving Eliza a miniscule smile.

 

            “I know, I just-, please, let me look after you, just for a little while.” And so, Lena opened her mouth and let Eliza feed her soup and bread, and let herself be a mother to Lena, if only for a little while. Lena understood that this was how Eliza coped - she had her family, her kids, and she needed to look after them.

 

            “You’ve always been so good to me,” Lena whispered. “I know I haven’t always made things easy, but thank you. I-I’m _so_ grateful to have you in my life.”

 

            Eliza gave her a small smile and stroked Lena’s hair, leaning in to kiss her forehead. “It was always easy. From the moment she brought you home, you were one of my girls. I loved you before I even met you, and more importantly _you_ loved _her_ , and I’m so grateful to you for giving her that before …” Eliza trailed off as she became choked up.

 

            “I love her,” Lena cried, letting out a breathless sob.

 

            “I know you do, honey. I know how this feels,” Eliza said, pain flickering across her face. And that’s when Lena really knew that it would never get easier, because Eliza had been grieving for her husband for ten years and had never gotten over it. Lena already knew that she would suffer every day though, but it hurt to see Eliza’s heartbreak etched so clearly on her face – accompanied by the newest grief of her lost daughter.

 

            “I can’t-, I just-, I want to see her,” Lena cried. “I-I want to look at her, but I can’t. If I look at her I won’t be able to s-stop myself from falling apart.”

 

            “You’re allowed to,” Eliza told her. “You’re allowed to fall apart and scream and not be okay. For as long as it takes for it to hurt a little bit less. She’s everywhere, she’ll always be everywhere, and you can’t avoid that forever. So fall to pieces now, I’ve got you. I won’t let you go.”

 

            “The album,” Lena choked out, and Eliza knew exactly what that meant, and stood up to go in search of it. Lena knew it was still on her bedside table in her bedroom, kept alongside all of the other reminders of Kara – but this one would be the hardest to face. The dozens upon dozens of photos of her face stuck on each page, alongside Lena’s when they were both happy together. But she had to see her face. The fresh wave of pain would break her heart all over again, but Lena had to look at her. Eliza slipped back in a few minutes later, clutching the black photo album to her chest as she made her way over to the bed. Pulling back the covers, she got into bed next to Lena, throwing an arm around her shoulder as Lena cuddled up next to her. Dropping the photo album in their laps, Eliza waited for Lena to open it, which took a few minutes.

 

            She looked at the first page, of the familiar photo of herself the day they met. It hurt to remember that, but at least it wasn’t a photo of Kara. What hurt the most with that picture was that at that point in time, Lena had no idea everything they were going to go through in the future – she was ignorant and didn’t even know she would fall in love with the girl behind the camera. The first time they came to a picture of Kara, Lena let out a loud sob, clapping a shaking hand to her mouth as she stared down at the familiar face. Eliza made choked up soothing noises, and Lena couldn’t bring herself to look at her, knowing that she was crying too.

 

            They spent an hour flipping through the pages of the photo album, and after a while, Lena started telling Eliza the memory behind each photo. She needed someone to know what each photo meant to her, she needed someone to know that they had loved each other with every fibre of their being, and that love was captured in every photo in the album. By the time that they reached the last photo, both of them had worn themselves out from crying, and so, Eliza went to fetch Lena her sleeping pills and a glass of water, watching as she swallowed them, before tucking Lena into bed and kissing her on the forehead before leaving.

 

\---

 

            Everyone stayed at Lena’s that night, feeling too exhausted to make the trip back to Maggie’s. Lena was out cold as Eliza locked up the apartment, switching all the lights off and sneaking into one of the spare rooms with Athena. Alex and Maggie slipped into bed with Lena, and the next morning, Lena woke up wedged in between the two girls, exactly like she had every other time Kara had left them. No matter what, the three of them always had each other. She just wished she had Kara too.


	62. Chapter 62

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think the next chapter will be the end of the heavy stuff.

            The next day the press got ahold of the story. It was all over the news, and someone had made the connection between Lena and Kara, taking the story away from the tragic deaths of fifteen people and twisting into a tragic love story. Lena stayed in bed, which meant that she didn’t see it, but everyone else was furious as they sat around the dinner table – the couches were still stuffed in Lena’s room.

 

            At lunchtime, Eliza and Alex walked into the bedroom Lena was staying in, and Eliza sat down on the edge of the bed while Alex crawled into bed next to Lena. Propping herself up on the pillows, Lena accepted the cup of tea that Eliza held out to her and her eyes fell on the envelope in Eliza’s hand.

 

            “We need to talk,” Eliza said, choking on the words as she struggled to get them out. “Sh-she doesn’t have a-a body, we can’t know for sure … all they have are h-her tags, but we have to assume … so we need … w-we need to make arrangements. We need closure.”

 

            “I can’t,” Lena said, covering her mouth with a shaking hand. She felt like she was going to be sick at the thought of Kara having a funeral – she couldn’t say goodbye to her, and even if she wouldn’t admit it, a small part of her was hoping it was all a big misunderstanding. “Excuse me.”

 

            Lena jumped up and ran to the nearest bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before she collapsed to her knees and vomited up what little food was in her stomach. A moment later she felt reassuring hands pull her hair out of her face and rub her back. Eliza made soothing noises as Lena cried and was sick again. Sitting up, Lena ran the sink tap and rinsed her mouth out before wiping it with the nearest hand towel. Taking a deep breath, she turned to face Eliza and reached out for her hand, holding onto it like a lifeline as they walked back to the bedroom.

 

            “I-I know it’s hard,” Eliza said, guiding Lena back onto the bed. “We need to read her will. To see what sh-she wanted. I-, she would want your input.” Tears streamed down Lena’s face as she silently cried. Eliza handed the envelope to Alex, who pushed her mom’s hand away, refusing to accept it.

 

            “I can’t,” Alex argued, her voice thick with emotion. “It’s barely been a-a week, mom. I can’t-, it’s too soon.”

 

            “Alex, we have to. Y-you’re the executor, she wanted you to do this. We need to plan h-her funeral. She-, we have to do this … for her,” Eliza argued. “We can do it quickly; I-I want to do it next week.”

 

            “NEXT WEEK?” Alex yelled, sitting up slightly. “SHE’S NOT EVEN GONE TWO WEEKS AND YOU WANT TO PUT AN EMPTY BOX IN THE GROUND? HOW IS THAT GOING TO HELP, MOM?”

 

            “Alex, please. We can’t live like- like this!” Eliza told her. “We h-have to sort through her things. Respect her la-last wishes and give her what she d-deserves.”

 

            “SHE DIDN’T FUCKING DESERVE THIS!” Alex roared, gesturing wildly with her arms. “She was better than all of us! She should be coming home next week, not being _remembered_ because we don’t even have a fucking _body_ to say goodbye to! I won’t be a part of this.” She stood up and stormed out of the room, leaving Eliza holding the envelope in her hand.

 

            “Open it,” Lena croaked, and Eliza looked up at her. She held the envelope out to Lena, and that was when Lena realized that Eliza couldn’t do this. She couldn’t read her daughter’s last wishes aloud and make these plans alone. Taking the envelope with shaking fingers, Lena carefully opened it and took out the will. Reading over it, Lena took in what Kara had left them all and what she’d planned for her funeral.

 

            “She wants to be buried in Midvale, next to Jeremiah,” Lena whispered, tears spilling over.

 

            “Midvale?” Eliza echoed, looking puzzled.

 

            “Yes. Sh-she said she wants her name on her parent’s grave, b-but she wants to be laid to rest with h-her family. You. She’s a Danvers,” Lena said, wiping her eyes as she read the words. “She’ll ha-have military honours I presume?”

 

            “Yes,” Eliza agreed. “They-, there’s no b-body but they’ll bring h-her things. They’ll do th-the ceremony.”

 

            Lena nodded, swallowing a sob. “Good. When?”

 

            “I-I want her buried next S-Saturday. Sh-she was supposed to be coming h-home then. This is the only way we can-” Eliza was cut off by a shuddering sob that shook her shoulders.

 

            “Okay,” Lena agreed, swallowing the lump in her throat as she wiped away more tears. “Sh-she left you and Alex h-her finances. Um, i-it’s not in here, but I-I gave her a share in my company, s-so that’s yours too.”

 

            “No,” Eliza protested, but Lena didn’t want it. It had been for Kara’s financial stability, so that Lena could have some peace of mind, and she didn’t want it back.

 

            “H-her camera is left … to me, and all p-pictures of us or relating to a me-memory of us,” Lena read, her voice breaking as she thought about the hundreds of photos Kara had taken on them – some which Lena had never seen before. “All the rest are for Alex, and you. Her books are for you – except the fairytales … for me.”

 

            On and on the list went, and with each line it grew harder for Lena to read, and by the end of the will her words were almost intelligible as she sobbed. Next to her, Eliza was crying just as much – one arm wrapped around Lena for comfort. As Lena finished reading, she slipped the paper back into the envelope and they both sat there in silence for a few moments.

 

            “We-, I’ll need t-to get a d-death certificate. Get it officiated so we can-“ Eliza quietly explained, and Lena nodded, not trusting herself to speak. This was it – they would have to get a legal death certificate so that they could manage Kara’s belongings, and they would need it for legal purposes, and so they could hold the funeral next week. Then over the next few weeks they’d be left to sift through Kara’s personal belongings, sharing them out as Kara saw fit, and then what? There would be nothing to do except to dwell in grief, or move on, and Lena knew which one she would be left to suffer through. She just hoped that the others would be able to move on without her.

 

            “I-I’ll go and tell Alex,” Lena said after a few minutes of silence, and after giving Eliza a quick hug, she climbed out of bed and made her way through her apartment. She stumbled into the kitchen, and three faces turned to look at her from where they sat around the table.

 

            “Alex,” Lena said. “Can we talk?” She half expected Alex to snap at her and storm off, but she just stared at Lena with those hollow eyes and stood up. Lena followed her through the apartment until they slipped into the room Alex had claimed for herself and Maggie whenever they stayed – if they didn’t somehow end up in Lena’s bed.

 

            “What?” Alex said, her voice dull and lifeless. She sat down on the edge of the bed and Lena joined her. She didn’t know where to start, and as she opened her mouth to say something, she caught sight of Alex’s bare left hand, missing the engagement ring that had recently graced her ring finger.

 

            “Your ring,” Lena said, gently picking up Alex’s hand, which was immediately tugged back.

 

            “It didn’t seem fair,” Alex choked out.

 

            “To who?” Lena asked, feeling her anger spike.

 

            “To you,” Alex said, and Lena blinked in surprise. She’d been expecting Alex to use Kara's death to project her marriage insecurities onto, but she hadn’t been expecting her to use Lena. Alex let out a bitter laugh. “Don’t worry, we’re still getting married, I just took the ring off.”

 

            “Oh. Good, I thought-“ Lena trailed off.

 

            “Yeah, I-I just … I didn’t want to … to rub it in,” Alex muttered, and then Lena laughed.

 

            “Put your ring back on,” Lena said, patting Alex’s hand. “You being happy, and marrying the woman you love, it’s a small consolation prize. A reminder of everything I was going to have – and I … I would never want to take that away from you. Neither would she. Besides, Maggie asked me to be her best man to return the favour of her being mine.”

 

            Alex nodded and they were both silent for a moment. “What’s the plan?”

 

            “Next Saturday. Sh-she wants to be buried next to your dad,” Lena whispered. “She’ll get military honours so they, well, I don’t know w-what they do, but they’ll do their thing. Your mom … sh-she wanted it on the day …”

 

            “Right,” Alex mumbled. “Sure.”

 

            “She left you things too,” Lena said. “Your mom is going to sort everything out, you know, legally.” Alex didn’t say anything, and Lena tentatively reached out and put her arms around Alex, pulling the other girl into a hug. Neither of them cried, they just sat there for five minutes in silence while they held each other and thought about the pain that they would have to endure in six day’s time.

 

\---

 

            They sat around the table, eating pizza because the only person in any shape to cook was Lillian, and she was about as good as Lena was when she’d first cooked for Kara. They were mostly silent as they ate, with only the occasional comment, until Lena looked at her mom.

 

            “I-I want to renovate the place. I need to get rid of everything. As soon as possible,” Lena told her, and Lillian nodded.

 

            “I’ll get some people in,” she assured Lena, eyeing the empty space where the sofas were missing, as well as the empty bookshelves and the spaces where photo frames had popped up once Lena had started dating Kara. “You might need to stay somewhere else while they work. It’ll probably take a week or so.”

 

            “You can come to mine,” Eliza piped up. “The funeral … you’ll be there next weekend for the funeral. You may as well come home with me; we can all go.” Lillian looked a bit uncertain at the idea of Lena going to Midvale – knowing that she wouldn’t go with them because she didn’t want to intrude into Eliza’s life. It was all well and good for Lillian to be here taking care of her daughter, but she didn’t want to stick her nose into Eliza’s personal life when she was trying to plan a funeral for her daughter – Lillian knew exactly what it was like to bury an empty coffin of a dead child. Still, she didn’t protest, especially when Lena had so quickly agreed.

 

            “Mom,” Lena said after a moment. “I-I need you to sort out th-the company too.”

 

            “Oh honey, don’t worry about that now. I’ve got everything under control – the board understands. I’ll take care of everything until you’re ready to-“

 

            “I’m not coming back,” Lena cut her off. “I don’t want it. I-I need you to move the headquarters back to Metropolis or wherever, a-and I don’t know, do whatever you need.”

 

            “Lena-” Lillian said gently.

 

            “Hey! Knock it off,” Maggie snapped. “Get your shit together. You’re _not_ giving up your company. I’ve spent enough time trying to drag you _away_ from that office, and I’ll happily handcuff you to your desk if you’re going to act like a little bitch and try and give it up. You don’t _want_ to give it up – you’re just grieving. So stop it. You want her back – we all do, but you’re not ruining your life because she’s _not_ coming back.”

 

            Everyone sat there in silence and Lena felt like she’d just been slapped – or at least, had some sense slapped into her. She took a bite of her pizza and swallowed the dry mouthful as she shrugged carelessly. “Okay.”

 

            “Now, enough! All of you. You’re not quitting your fucking job. _We’re_ not moving across the fucking country. Sh-she told me to take care of you – she told me _every_ time before she left – and I’m not letting you all make ridiculous decisions because you’re upset. I’m sorry if I’m being insensitive, but _I_ miss her too, and I’m doing everything I can to do what she asked of me. None of you are copping out now – she asked you to look after yourselves, she _knew_ this could happen, and she didn’t want you to spend your time moping around. So shut the fuck up,” Maggie said, before picking up her box of pizza and storming away from the table.

 

            “Um … I’ll, uh, give her a minute,” Alex said as they all sat there in shock, everyone except Lillian looking slightly ashamed. Maggie was right – Kara wouldn’t want any of this. All she would want was for them to be happy, to move on and keep her memory alive. They would do that, of course, but right now they were all wallowing in their grief and they needed someone to shake them out of it.

 

            “She’s right,” Lena mumbled, taking another bite of her pizza. “I just-, it hurts, and I’m being stupid … and selfish. Excuse me.” Standing up, Lena went in search of Maggie, opening and closing door after door until she found her hiding in Lena’s office. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lena walked into the room for the first time since Kara had died. There weren’t many reminders in here, except the photo on her desk that Maggie was staring at.

 

            “I told you I was kicked out when I was fourteen,” Maggie said, not looking up. “Kara … she was the sister I’d never had. She was the first person who made me feel like I had a family, I can never repay her for that … but I can try by looking after you for her. Sorry if I was harsh back then - I express my grief through anger - but she wouldn’t want you to ruin your life because she’s gone – you know this.”

 

            Lena sat down on the chair in front of the desk, putting her feet up on her desk and sneaking a slice of pizza out of the box Maggie had brought in with her. “Don’t worry about it. You’re right anyway. I just-, it _hurts_ and I can’t stop thinking about her, and I can’t- I can’t say her name. I-I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get past this.”

 

            “Of course you won’t,” Maggie laughed incredulously. “You loved her – _love_ her – and that will never go away. She was the first person you let inside, the first person you let yourself trust enough to get past your walls. Nothing will ever change that. No one is expecting you to be okay, I just-, I don’t want to watch you throw that all away. She wouldn’t want you to be miserable forever, and I’m trying, god I’m trying _so_ hard to keep it together for everyone, but I just-, I can’t let you be a fucking idiot, no matter how heartbroken you are right now. You’re my sister too, and I, you know, care about you and all that shit.”

 

            A small laugh escaped Lena’s mouth. “Maggie Sawyer, are you professing your love for me?”

 

            “Fuck up, Luthor,” Maggie said, looking slightly disgruntled. “I just- you’re not alone, okay? You have a family. Sh-she’s not here anymore, but you’re not alone, and I will beat the shit out of you if you try and run away like a scared little child.”

 

            “I’m not going anywhere,” Lena promised, swallowing the lump in her throat. “And for the record, I care about you too. Maybe just a little.” Her lips curled slightly at the corners as Maggie flipped her off.

 

\---

 

            The next morning Lena woke up and willingly dragged herself into the shower. She was going home with Eliza today – she had to get herself ready or they’d miss the train. Walking to one of the bathrooms, Lena stripped off her clothes and stepped under the hot water. She stayed there far longer than she should’ve, feeling especially drained after the long week she’d had. Lena had thought that the eight months she’d spent without Kara had been emotionally draining, but she’d been wrong – she had never known pain like this before in her entire life.

 

            “Lena?” Lillian’s voice floated over the sound of the water. “I, uh, I’ve ironed some clothes for you. I’ll just leave them on the counter.”

 

            “Thank you,” Lena mumbled in reply. She stayed in there a few minutes later, before climbing out and quickly drying herself and pulling on the clothes that Lillian had left for her. Her wet hair left small wet patches on the shoulders of her shirt and Lena quickly wrapped her hair in a towel before she picked up her toothbrush. She stared at her reflection in the mirror for the first time all week and if she didn’t know she was looking in a mirror, Lena didn’t think she’d be able to recognize herself. Yet, Lena couldn’t bring herself to care that she had hollow cheeks and tired, sunken eyes – nothing mattered anymore. Silently, Lena finished getting ready.

 

            By nine o’clock she was at the train station with Eliza, clutching the bag her mom had packed for her in one hand and Athena’s leash in the other. Alex and Maggie would be meeting them later on, and Lillian had decided to go back to Metropolis and fly in to Midvale and stay at the nearest hotel – just in case Lena needed her. All she really wanted was Kara.


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of the heavy stuff I guess? Like it'll still be angsty but it'll get better. I'll admit that I did tear up a little writing one part, so I hope you like it.
> 
> Also, sorry to do this to you, but there won't be an update tomorrow because I have class and then I'm going to watch WONDER WOMAN!!!!!! Please don't hate me because of the cliffhanger.

            They spent the next week hurriedly planning the funeral – or rather, Eliza did. Lena spent most of her time shut up in Kara’s room, ignoring everyone as she lay in bed and tried to pretend like Kara was downstairs in the kitchen, making coffee and breakfast for them both as she hummed along to the radio. If there was one place that she strongly associated with Kara, it was Eliza’s, even though she’d spent more time here without Kara than with her. Her memory was etched into the very walls of the place – in the photos placed around the apartment, in the wind chimes that clinked together whenever Lena mustered up the strength to go and sit on the back porch, but most of all, she was everywhere in her bedroom. Lena thought it had been bad enough being in her apartment – but here, she couldn’t escape Kara.

 

            After the first week, Lena found that she was numb in a different way. She was still heartbroken and in mourning, but she was also angry. It wasn’t fair that Kara had been taken away from her – she deserved it the least out of everyone in the world – and Lena took her anger out on her mom. Part of the reason why was because she already had so much anger towards Lillian that she’d been letting go of over the past few months, and it was so easy to drag it back up again, and another reason was because Lena felt like she couldn’t breathe. Perhaps it was because her mom had never been there to look after Lena as a child, but she felt like she was suffocating, like Lillian was smothering her. Lena would regret it the moment she snapped, because she was being cruel, and it didn’t help, but at the same time, she couldn’t bring herself to care too much. In some ways, it was like when she was a teenager, and had caused as much pain and trouble as she could for Lillian, just out of spite. It wasn’t fair to either of them, but Lena was falling to pieces and she didn’t know how to make it stop, and she was grateful that her mom was kind and patient, spending hours holding Lena or when she finally left her alone, helping Eliza plan the funeral. If Lena had spent more time around everyone together, she might've found it weird that it seemed like her mom and Eliza were good friends, and Eliza heavily relied on Lillian to help her make the funeral arrangements, as well as for comfort.

 

            She didn’t truly move or function like a person until Saturday – the day of Kara’s funeral. Lena had stopped taking her sleeping pills a few nights back, which contributed to her bad mood, and last night she hadn’t slept at all. The dread of the funeral had kept her awake all night, thinking about the empty casket and the grave that would mark the spot where nothing but Kara’s memory would lie. At six o’clock, Lena swung her legs out of bed, and sat on the edge as she fiddled with the chain in her hand. It was Kara’s ID tags, returned to Eliza a few days ago, along with the rest of her belongs. The tags were the only thing left of Kara that they’d found in the wreckage of the explosion, and Lena clutched the little metal rectangles so tightly in her hand that they etched deep lines into her palms.

 

            For almost two hours Lena sat there, gripping the tags and staring out through the curtains she hadn’t closed last night. She stared blankly with a glazed over expression, not really seeing anything as she replayed dozens of memories of Kara over and over again. It wasn’t until Eliza knocked on the bedroom door and poked her head in that Lena stirred.

 

            “Good morning,” she said quietly, and Lena didn’t even turn around.

 

            “She’s supposed to be home today,” Lena whispered, feeling numb all over. “I promised her I’d be waiting for her at the airport ten hours early with a bouquet of flowers, and instead, I’m putting flowers on her grave.”

 

            “Shh, it’s okay, I know. I know it hurts,” Eliza softly said, stepping inside. “Did you sleep at all?”

 

            “No,” Lena admitted.

 

            Eliza quietly tutted as she crossed the room and laid a gentle hand on Lena’s shoulder. “You need your strength today, sweetheart.”

 

            “I don’t think sleep is going to help,” Lena whispered, opening her hand to stare down at the dog tags.

 

            “I know,” Eliza mumbled in agreement, leaning down to kiss the top of Lena’s head. “Y-you should shower. We need to be there at nine.”

 

            “I can’t,” Lena said, her voice cracking. “I c-can’t say goodbye to her, Eliza.”

 

            “I-I know it’s hard, believe me, I don’t want to be doing this anymore than you do … but w-we have to, for her. We have to do this for h-her, so she can have a proper funeral. So she can be at peace,” Eliza said, and Lena nodded after a moment. Setting the ID tags down on the nightstand, Lena stood up. Eliza gave her a sad smile and followed her out of the room.

 

            Showering quickly, Lena made her way back to Kara’s room and changed into the black dress hanging up waiting for her. That was as far as Lena got, because she didn’t care how she looked, and she would’ve gone in her pyjamas if she’d been allowed. It was Alex who found her sat on the bed, and she was silent as she grabbed a brush and ran it through Lena’s hair, before pinning it back. Next, Alex started doing Lena’s makeup for her, and Lena didn’t have the energy to stop her so she just shut her eyes and let her make her look presentable for the funeral.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena mumbled as soon as Alex stepped back. She gave Lena a nod and grabbed her by the shoulders, taking a deep breath.

 

            “Listen,” Alex started, her voice cracking on that one word. “Today, I-, it’s going to be hard. The hardest day of our lives. I-I don’t want to think that she’s gone, I don’t want t-to give up, but we are. I need you to be strong, please, because I-I can’t do this without you.”

 

            Lena nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Strong. Right.”

 

            “J-just until after the service. There’s, uh, something for you. You might want to save it until after though,” Alex said. She told Lena to wait a moment and left, returning with an envelope held in her hand. Tears pricked Lena’s eyes just from looking at it, and she knew that this would be the hardest letter of all. Accepting the letter, Lena traced a finger over the familiar handwriting spelling out her name, and held back a sob. Of _course_ Kara would’ve left everyone a letter.

 

            “Thank you,” Lena hoarsely whispered. Alex nodded and walked out of the room, leaving her alone. She decided to take Alex’s advice and wait until after the service to read it – it was going to be hard enough trying to make it through it anyway, let alone before reading the last letter she would ever receive off Kara. Lena stayed upstairs until her mom showed up, dressed in all black and wearing a sad expression. She walked into the room and crouched down in front of Lena, picking up her hands and kissing them.

 

            “How about some breakfast before we go?” Lillian asked her, and Lena shook her head. If she ate something, she would just throw it back up, and she already felt sick to her stomach at the thought of the next couple of hours.

 

            “Okay,” Lillian murmured, reaching up to cup Lena’s face and kiss her on the forehead. “I-, you’re strong, _so_ strong, and braver than you know. I-I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry you have to go through this. I never wanted this for you both. A-all I wanted was for you to be happy, I’m sorry.” Lena choked back a sob and nodded as she looked down at her hands in her lap.

 

            “I was,” Lena choked out. “I-I wouldn’t trade our time together for the world.”

 

            “I know,” Lillian murmured, gently running a thumb across Lena’s cheekbones. “I just wish you’d had more time to be happy. You deserved a lifetime of happiness with her, and I’m sorry that you had that taken away.”

 

            Maggie appeared in the doorway then, dressed in black and holding Lena’s coat for her. “We should get going.”

 

            Nodding, Lena reached for her nearby heels and slipped them on before standing up. Taking the jacket off Maggie, Lena slipped it on, and after a moments hesitation, reached for the letter and put it in the inside pocket. Ready, she looked at the two women before slipping past Maggie and out into the hallway. The three of them made their way downstairs and soon enough all five of them were in the large black car waiting outside.

 

\---

 

            At the cemetery, Lena held onto Eliza’s hand like a lifeline, and her mom had her arms wrapped about her, keeping Lena propped up. On the other side of Eliza, Maggie had her arms around Alex, holding her tightly as both of them silently cried. There were dozens of other people there – Kara’s military friends from Fort Rozz, half of the town, Eliza’s co-workers, and even Jess had shown up and Lena realized that of _course_ Jess was friends with Kara. Lucy, James and Winn were even there – having applied for leave so they could come and mourn the loss of their friend, and it was those three, as well as a few other military personnel, that performed the military honours.

 

            As Lena watched them carry the empty coffin draped with the American flag, a lump rose in Lena’s throat, but she couldn’t find it within herself to cry. After all, it was empty and Lena had spent two weeks crying over Kara being gone – this was no different to the empty feeling she’d been filled with since Alex had told her the news. Still, as Lena watched them lower the coffin and begin the ceremony, silent tears started to stream down her face and her heart hurt. The minister stood nearby reciting something from the bible, but Lena didn’t hear a word he was saying – she was numb. Then she watched as the various military rituals were performed, blocking out the sound of the taps being played on the bugle, and the shots fired from the guns. Lena felt very far away from it all, like she was watching from outside of her body, and not really seeing what was happening. It didn’t feel real.

 

            At the end of the service, the highest ranking military officer brought the folded up flag over to Eliza, who dropped Lena’s hand to accept it, along with an official thank you for Kara’s service to her country. That’s when the hugging started, and Lena hated every moment of it. Over and over again, strangers that Lena had never met or even heard of embraced her and offered her words of comfort as if they had any idea how Lena was feeling. The only people she got any comfort from were her family and Kara's friends, but even then they weren't the arms she wanted wrapped around her. She just wanted to be alone. She wanted to be with Kara.

 

            Once everyone had gone, the five of them stayed at the cemetery a little while longer, staring at the headstone with Kara’s name etched on it. Underneath that was a small poem – the one that she had asked Lena to read over and over again that night in the field. She’d put it in her will that she wanted it engraved on her headstone, and somehow it seemed perfect.

 

 

_‘Life and Death have been in love for longer than we have words to describe._

_Life sends countless gifts to Death, and Death keeps them forever.’_

 

 

            Lena stared at the words, hating every single one of them and the memories associated with them. She supposed that Kara thought it was comforting, but Lena felt like she couldn’t breathe. After a little while longer, everyone made to leave, except Lena.

 

            “Sweetheart, come on, it’s time to go home,” Eliza said, reaching out for Lena’s hand.

 

            “No,” Lena choked out, pulling back slightly as she kept her eyes trained on the headstone and the large pile of dirt in front of it.

 

            “You can’t stay here all day,” Eliza said, her hoarse voice softening slightly as she looked at Lena with pity. Her eyes were red raw from crying, and Lena knew that hers were too.

 

            “Just a little while longer,” Lena croaked. Eliza nodded, kissing Lena on the temple. Lillian copied her, and after a look of concern off both Alex and Maggie, the four of them left Lena alone. She stood there for a few moments, silently staring at the headstone, before she let out a loud sob and threw herself down on the pile of dirt as she reached out with trembling fingers and traced Kara’s name.

 

            “Oh god, I’m so sorry,” Lena sobbed, her hands scrambling for purchase on the cold rock. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this without you. I need you. Why did you go? You promised me you’d be here and you’re not. It hurts, oh god, it hurts so much.”

 

            The midday sun shone weakly overhead, hidden behind grey clouds as Lena sobbed over the empty grave, mumbling intelligible words. After she’d calmed down enough, Lena pulled the envelope out of her inner pocket with shaking hands and stared down at her name on the paper. Clumsily wiping at her tearstained face, Lena took a deep breath to prepare herself, before sliding a finger underneath the flap and opening the envelope.

 

 

_To my dearest Lena,_

_If you’re reading this, then the only thing I can say is I’m sorry. I promised you I’d come home, and I didn’t intend for it to be in a box. I broke that promise, so I’m sorry. More sorry than you can ever imagine, because I know you, and I know that this is hurting you (it’s not vain to say that you’re heartbroken over me, is it?) I’m sorry that you’re hurting, and that’s something I will never be able to forgive myself for. As I’m writing this, you’re asleep in my bed at my mom’s house – curled up right next to me where you belong. You don’t know it yet, but I’m going to propose in a couple of days, and I hope that you say yes. If you said yes, and you’re reading this, then I’m sorry for that too, because that’s another promise I broke. Perhaps it’s selfish of me to ask when you might end up reading this, but I want you to know how much I love you while I can still tell you, and that I have a whole future planned for us. If I break that promise too, I want you to know it’s something that I’ll regret forever, because I wanted to do everything with you._

_I know love isn’t supposed to hurt, and it’s been so painful for us, I know, but still, I can’t bring myself to regret our time together – how could I? And maybe that’s selfish of me to come into your life and shake everything up and then leave in the cruelest way possible - after making you fall in love with me - but I want you to know that I loved you too, utterly and completely, with my entire heart. I hope you know that. And I’m glad we have those photographs, and I guess deep down I knew that I was taking them just in case something like this happened. I hope you can look back on them and remember just how much I loved you, because I do, more than anything. Our love is frozen in the pages of that photo album, and inside those pages I’m still there with you and I won’t ever let you go. Just know that loving you was the easiest thing I have ever done in my life, and if love was enough I’d still be there with you._

_I know it’s probably stupid to say this, but I don’t want you to be sad forever. You deserve a lifetime of happiness, Lena, and more than anything I wish I was the person to give that to you, but I’m not, and I hope that one day you can find it within yourself to let love in again. Please, for me. I know it’s asking a lot, because I know that I was the first person you let inside, but look how far you’ve come. I don’t want you to give that up – you deserve to be happy. What I learnt from my parents dying is that it’s okay to be sad for a little while, but then you need to heal. I hope that one day you let someone in who can heal you with their love So, please, heal for me. Let someone love you as fiercely as I did, and find someone you can love back, because you have so much love to give. I’m not saying you should let me go – I hope that you don’t (me being selfish again) – but I want you to know that I’ll always be with you. Just keep me inside your heart, right next to that locket of yours, and you won’t ever be alone._

_I know you don’t believe in soulmates and fate and all of that, but you believe in science. You know the quantum theory of entanglement – where particles become correlated with each other regardless of distance. I like to think that coincides with the first law of thermodynamics – that no energy is created and none is destroyed. At the beginning of the universe maybe the particles that made us up were separated, and over time, no matter what form our energy takes, they keep coming back to each other. Maybe that’s what soulmates really are. And if that's what they are, then I'll come back to you, over and over again, in every lifetime._ _Now it’s time for me to wait for you to come home, because I believe that in some way – I’m not sure which – we’ll be together again some day. I’ll wait for you, for as long as it takes, because I’ll love you forever, Lena Luthor._

_Yours always,_

_Kara xxx_

            She cried for what felt like forever, one hand crumpling up the letter and the other clutching her heart, where Kara said she would be. Her heart felt empty – she wasn’t there – and Lena loud out a loud scream full of anguish, sending a flock of birds scattering as she shattered the silence of the cemetery. Gut-wrenching sobs wracked her whole body as she knelt on the pile of dirt, amidst all the flowers that people had left behind. Lena wanted to rip them to pieces, she was angry that these people who weren’t hurt or mourning had shown up and stuck their noses in where they didn’t belong, but she didn’t because it would’ve been selfish to ruin something beautiful out of her own pain and anger. Instead, she sat with her back to the headstone, her arms encircling her knees, which were drawn up to her chest, as she sobbed for what felt like hours. She never wanted to move again, she wanted to stay right here where the only piece of Kara was left.

 

\---

 

            Eventually it started to rain, and Lena stuffed the letter back inside her coat, worried about the ink running. It was the last thing she had off Kara, she couldn’t let it get ruined. As the heavy rain poured down on her, Lena sat on the pile of dirt and let it soak through her hair and let the cold seep into her bones. It was fitting that it should rain on the worst day of Lena’s life, it almost seemed like a perfect complement to the dreary, miserable feeling Lena held inside her heart.

 

            She knew soon enough someone would come and collect her, probably her mom, and Lena wasn’t ready to go home yet. Instead, she picked herself up off the grave and decided to take the longest possible way home, giving her more time to herself so that she could wallow in her grief and heartbreak alone. Lena knew she looked a mess – her hair was plastered to her face, her coat was soaked, and her bare legs and her bum were covered in grave dirt. She probably looked like she’d just crawled out of her own grave. Every time a car slowed down and wound down its window to ask if she was okay, Lena didn’t even acknowledge it, she just shuffled on home, letting the rain soak her to her core.

 

            Finally, she made it back to Eliza’s and at that point she was too tired and cold to feel anything. As she walked up the front porch steps the front door swung open and Eliza ran out.

 

            “Oh thank god,” Eliza sobbed breathlessly, cupping Lena’s face between her hands. “Y-your mom’s been driving around l-looking for you.”

 

            “I’m fine,” Lena mumbled monotonously.

 

            “I know,” Eliza said, giving Lena a tearful smile. “It’s-, th-they found her.”


	64. Chapter 64

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture this; so I'm at work having a shit time, and then I start feeling guilty because I left you on a cliffhanger and I was like what a dick move. So then I came home and was like hm may as well watch netflix until 4am and start the next chapter at the same time. Anyway, so next thing I know I've written almost 8k words and the LONGEST chapter of the fic, so yeah, here I am updating again lmao. You all said I killed you last chapter, so if anyone's still alive then enjoy!
> 
> (This might be instead of a chapter tomorrow, but it's not a cliffhanger so it's not a dick move)

_“They found her.”_

 

            Lena wrenched her face out of Eliza’s hands and stumbled backwards, stopping just short of the steps. Her face contorted into a look of anger and she balled her hands into fists. “Is this some sick fucking joke?” Lena hissed, feeling slightly nauseous.

 

            “No, no, no,” Eliza quickly reassured Lena, reaching out and grabbing her by the shoulders. She smiled again, letting out a quick laugh. “They _found_ her, Lena. Sh-she’s alive.”

 

            “No,” Lena said, shaking her head as she started to cry. “No, sh-she’s not. Stop it. It’s not f-fair. She’s g-gone, Eliza.” She was tired and wet and she didn’t want to do this right now. Lena just wanted to change into something dry and spend the rest of her life curled up in a ball as she wallowed in her misery.

 

            “She’s not. Th-they called maybe fifteen minutes ago. They’ve been trying all morning – n-none of us took our phones with us.” Eliza said, pulling Lena into a hug. “They’re saying i-it’s her. We need to go-, we have to go and confirm it.”

 

            Lena let out a sob that was muffled by Eliza’s dress. “It’s her?”

 

            “They’re saying it’s her,” Eliza choked out, and then Lena was hysterically laughing and crying and her emotions were all over the place. It was her. They were saying it was her. Lena felt a feeling of hope stir inside her chest, but she was still overwhelmed with heartache that she wouldn’t let herself hope too much. It could be someone else. That’s why they needed them to go to her. Lena tore herself out of Eliza’s arms and walked down the porch.

 

            “W-we have t-to go,” Lena stammered, looking around for the car. “We have to get to the airport. W-where are they taking her?”

 

            “Your mom is coming back now, I called her when I saw you coming. They’re taking her to National City, sh-she’ll be at the hospital when we get there. I-, we’ll leave as soon as your mom gets back,” Eliza explained. “How about you come inside and get changed?” Lena shook her head, waving away Eliza’s concerns as she spotted Eliza’s car approaching the house.

 

            “Alex! Maggie!” Eliza called, suddenly not preoccupied with getting Lena to change. The two girls were outside instantly, and Alex gave Lena a tearful smile. Maggie seemed a little more reserved with her joy, and Lena figured that she was approaching this the same way she was. If it wasn’t her, they would all be overwhelmed by fresh grief and heartache all over again. Lillian didn’t even turn the car off, she just slammed on the breaks and everyone crammed inside the car. They didn’t even have time to put their seatbelts on before Lillian had stepped on the gas.

 

            She was talking on the phone while she drove, speeding down every street, and taking every corner alarmingly fast – and Lena wasn’t sure if it was because she was anxious to get them all to the airport or because her mom probably hadn’t driven in years. Lena caught snatches of conversation, and it sounded like Lillian was on the phone to the airport, trying to ready her private jet so that they could be off as soon as possible. The nearest airport was over an hour away because Midvale wasn’t big enough to warrant its own, but Lena was sure they’d made it there in record timing, and soon enough they were piling out of the car and rushing into the building. Eliza ran over to the counter and started frantically speaking to one of the people sat behind it. As the others caught up, they could hear Eliza frantically begging, gesturing behind her at the other four of them while the man shrugged helplessly. After a moment, Lillian sighed and stormed over to the desk, slamming her bag down on the counter and pulling out her cheque book and a pen.

 

            “How much do you want? Twenty thousand? Fifty? Name your price,” Lillian said, her pen poised over the paper as she stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

 

            “I’m sorry ma’am, there’s nothing I can do,” the man said, looking slightly taken aback by Lillian and her cheque book.

 

            “Listen here,” Lillian snapped, slamming the pen down and pointing a finger at him. If bribery wasn’t going to work, then she was done playing nice. “I’m Lillian Luthor. Does that name ring a bell? Yes, I thought so too. Now, you have _my_ plane here, and I need it. _Now_. I already called and arranged this, so where is it? What’s the problem? I’ve just spent my entire morning at a fucking _funeral_ for my daughter-in-law, only to find out when we got home that she’s _not_ even fucking dead. We need to get to National City so that we can confirm that she’s _not_ dead and I need my plane, _now_. So how about you make a few calls and do whatever it is you do, and get me my fucking plane before I buy this whole fucking airport and fire you myself. Do you understand me?”

 

            The man paled slightly as Lillian snapped at him and he reached for the phone and started dialing a number. “Smart choice,” Lillian said smugly, and for once Lena was glad that her mom was such a stuck up, entitled hardass. Lena surprised herself and almost bowled her mom over as she threw herself at her and hugged her tightly.

 

            “I love you,” Lena said, and after a moment of shock, Lillian returned the hug, burying her face in her daughter’s hair.

 

            “I know,” Lillian mumbled. “Now, let’s go get your girl.”

 

\---

 

            It still took over an hour before schedules were reorganized, the plane was readied for their take off and they found a pilot, and by then they were growing more and more impatient as each minute ticked by. The knowledge that Kara could possibly be alive was tormenting them. Eventually, everything was ready though, and the five of them boarded the plane quickly, strapping themselves in and waiting for takeoff.

 

            The plane lifted off the ground and Lena immediately unbuckled her seatbelt and started pacing back and forth. After a few minutes, Lillian let out a sigh and stood up. She always kept spare clothes on her plane, and she quickly pulled a shirt and some pants out of a case in the overhead compartment. “Lena, stop pacing. Here, you’re filthy and soaking wet. Go and clean yourself up a bit and come and sit down.”

 

            Lena took the clothes off her mom and without a word she squeezed herself into the small bathroom and did what she could with what was available. After changing into her mom’s clean clothes and washing her face with some hot water, Lena felt marginally better. She picked up a comb on the side of the sink and quickly ran it through the knotty waves of her hair and sighed – there was nothing she could do to fix that. After removing the letter from her coat pocket, Lena slid it into the trouser pocket and balled up the rest of her damp and dirty clothes. Reemerging, Lena sat down next to her mom and curled up on her seat, putting her head in Lillian’s lap. Her mom gently stroked Lena’s hair and Eliza covered her with a blanket.

 

            “What if- what if it isn’t her?” Lena asked after a moment, her voice cracking as she spoke. She couldn’t bear the thought of being let down, and she was trying her hardest not to get her hopes up, but she’d been wishing more than anything that it had all been a mistake and this was her chance for her wish to come true.

 

            “Shh, don’t worry about that now,” Eliza murmured, letting Lena put her feet in her lap. “I-if it’s not … nothing’s changed.” Lena nodded, and a single tear slid out of the corner of her eye as she took a long shuddering breath.

 

            “We need a drink,” Maggie muttered from where she sat at the little table. “Lillian, do you have anything strong? Scotch, maybe.”

 

            “In the back. Help yourself,” Lillian told her. Maggie disappeared and came back a few moments later carrying a stack of glasses and a bottle of whiskey. She quickly measured out a sizeable amount for each of them, and Lena sat up as she accepted her glass off Maggie. The liquid burnt on its way down, but Lena relished the feeling. It was one of the first things besides overwhelming sadness that she’d felt over the past two weeks. Maggie added a smaller amount to Lena’s cup and she drained that too, catching Lillian giving Maggie a warning look to not give her anymore. With a sigh, Lena jumped to her feet again and started pacing back and forth.

 

            “That’s it!” Alex exclaimed after a few minutes. “I can’t take it anymore. Sit your ass down, you’re making me panic. We’ll get there when we get there, and we’ll deal with this then too. Just go to sleep or stop pacing!”

 

            “Come on sweetheart,” Eliza softly called Lena, opening her arms. Lillian pulled the blanket off the seat as Lena sat back down, and gently draped it back over her. With her head in Eliza’s lap this time, Lena closed her eyes. She was too tense to sleep, she felt like her body was coursing with adrenaline and thoughts of Kara swirled around her mind. Was she dead or _wasn’t_ she dead? Taking slow, even breaths, Lena ran over the facts in her head, trying to remain logical and not let her hopes get in the way of this. They had a body – an alive one – clearly a woman, and they believed it was Kara. Was it the woman who had told them her name? Or were they making assumptions based on where they’d found her? If that was the case, then it was possible that it _wasn’t_ Kara. They couldn’t have identified her without her ID tags, still on Kara’s nightstand in Midvale, or the name tag on Kara’s uniform. Which led to the question – what state was she in? How badly was she hurt? She’d been missing for two weeks at the most, but perhaps she’d been found a few days after the explosion and had been unconscious or incapable of telling them her name. There were too many variables and Lena tried to stay calm as she spent the flight going over and over each scenario. The best case scenario that Lena could think of was that Kara had been found safe and sound after two weeks, and had identified herself when found and was on her way home to them right now.

 

            The flight dragged on and everyone was mostly silent as they grew tenser by the moment. Lillian was taking it the best out of everyone, with her main concern being for her daughter’s wellbeing – not that she wasn’t hoping it was Kara, but her daughter was her main priority and she was worried what it would do to Lena if it wasn’t Kara. Finally, after two hours, they started their descent. Lena sat upright and buckled herself in, silently praying that they would hurry. Kara would probably almost be at the hospital by now. It would have been almost a direct flight back to American soil, and they would be airlifting her straight to National City Hospital. By the time they made the trip from the airport to the hospital, she should be there.

 

            The wheels touched down and the plane bounced a little as the pilot slowed it down. It hadn’t even come to a full stop before Lena was unbuckling her belt and walking over to the door. She fidgeted anxiously with her hands as the five of them spent ten minutes waiting for the pilot to finish their landing and the steps to be brought over so they could exit the plane. As soon as the doors opened, Lena was off down the steps and straight into the waiting car that Lillian had arranged to be waiting for them. Soon enough they were exiting the airport, enroute to the hospital.

 

\---

 

            The car dropped them off and they were all almost running into the hospital. Eliza approached the front desk and breathlessly gave them her name and a few minutes later they were met by a doctor and two military personnel in their uniforms. After introductions were made, the five of them made their way through the hospital and Lena felt her panic growing. What if it _was_ Kara? What if it wasn’t? They went up a few floors in an elevator and came out onto a ward full of private rooms. Walking down the hallway, dodging doctors and hospital beds, they came to the start of another hallway.

 

            “She’s in the room down the end,” one of the officers said, and Eliza nodded, a hand covering her mouth as she shook slightly. The two soldiers started walking down the hallway, followed by Eliza, Alex and Maggie. Lena couldn’t take another step. She’d been rushing at every possible moment, trying to get to Kara as quick as possible, but now that she was here, she was frozen.

 

            “I-I can’t,” Lena choked out. “I-I can’t. If it’s not … I can’t.”

 

            Maggie took a step back towards her and rested her hand on Lena’s shoulder. “It’s okay. You wait here, I’ll come back. I’ll let you know.”

 

            Lena nodded and her bottom lip started trembling as she watched everyone make their way down the hallway. It seemed like the longest hallway Lena had ever seen, and every step they made seemed slowly exaggerated. Every second was excruciating and she burst into tears as she was overcome by her fear. And then Lillian was there, wrapping her arms around Lena and holding her close as she made reassuring sounds, keeping an eye on the door for Lena as she watched everyone disappear inside.

 

            Time seemed to stand still as they waited for Maggie to come back, but after barely a second, the door was thrown open again and she came back out, a hand clapped over her mouth as she cried. She walked towards Lena and Lillian, and Lena looked up as Lillian gently nudged her to get her attention. Maggie’s hand fell away from her mouth and she gave them a tearful smile.

 

            “It’s her.”

 

            And then Lena was running, tearing herself out of her mom’s arms and launching herself down the hallway as fast as she could. She brushed past Maggie and caught herself on the doorframe as she burst into the room, already sobbing before she’d even seen her.

 

            And there she was.

 

            Kara.

 

            Her Kara.

 

            Ignoring four pairs of eyes, Lena focused on the blue ones staring straight at her. They were sunken in a hollow face, but they were as familiar to Lena as her own, and they glistened with tears as they focused on Lena’s face. Kara’s face was deeply tanned, her skin peeling away in places from the sunburn she’d received, and there were dozens of cuts marring her skin, but she was _smiling_. After everything she’d been through, she was smiling widely at Lena as she sobbed, and then Lena let out a choked up sob and rushed to the side of the hospital bed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She looked down at Kara with a look of wonder and shock, hardly daring to believe her own eyes.

 

            “Kara,” Lena whispered, her voice hitching as she dared to speak Kara’s name for the first time since she’d found out she’d died. Her hands itched to touch Kara, and her fingers shook as they fluttered nervously around her, not daring to touch her in case she hurt her.

 

            “Lena,” Kara croaked, her voice barely above a hoarse whisper. Lena let out a sob and leant down to bury her face in Kara’s chest, her hands grabbing fistfuls of the thin hospital gown Kara was wearing. Letting out a shaky breath, Kara’s arms came up to encircle Lena, gently cradling her against her chest as Lena sobbed in relief.

 

            “I promised,” Kara choked out, sniffling as she cried. “I promised you I’d be home today.” Eliza and Alex let out a tearful laugh from where they stood and sat on the other side of Kara’s bed. Lena couldn’t bring herself to reply, she just cried as her shoulders shook, and Kara held her as close as she could, being mindful of the wires attached to her.

 

            “You’re okay?” Lena choked out, her question muffled by Kara’s hospital gown.

 

            “I’m okay,” Kara assured her, letting out a quiet laugh, and Lena laughed at the sound. She didn’t think anything had ever sounded so beautiful in her entire life, and she certainly hadn’t thought it was a sound she would hear ever again, which made it all the more sweeter. Taking a long shuddering breath, Lena sat up, gently cupping the side of Kara’s face with a shaking hand as she stared into those beautiful blue eyes. She let out a tearful laugh and leant in to press her lips gently against Kara’s before pulling back and staring at her in amazement.

 

            “I love you. I-I didn’t think I’d get to say-” Lena breathlessly told her, before a sob cut her off, and Kara smiled at those three words, and Lena felt like her heart was about to explode as she was filled with love and happiness like she’d never felt before. The past two weeks seemed like a bad dream, but there was still an odd sensation inside, leaving Lena feeling confused. After everything, there was still a part of her mourning, especially after the funeral this morning, but here Kara was, alive and smiling up at Lena. It didn’t seem real.

 

            “I love you too,” Kara said, her face splitting into a breathtaking smile. Lena let out another sob, clapping a hand over her mouth.

 

            “What the hell happened to you?” Lena cried, frowning as she traced her fingers over the lines of Kara’s face. She was home, she was safe, but what she’d been through was still written all over her body. Kara was thinner than she should’ve been, and Lena was scared at how frail she looked in the narrow bed. Kara had never seemed fragile to her, but right now, Lena was afraid to touch her incase she broke. She was too scared to look under the blankets, too scared to see what Kara had been through.

 

            “It’s a long story,” Kara mumbled, her voice cracking as she spoke.

 

\---

 

_Everything had been going to plan, just another nighttime patrol. They were sat in the jeeps, the quiet hum of the engines disturbing the quiet as they drove through the familiar landscape that they’d patrolled a thousand times before – sometimes during the night, but mostly during the day. Kara couldn’t help but think about how foreign everything looked in the dark. The desert was cool, and would soon become colder as the last remnants of the sun leached out of the sand, and there was nothing around them as they scanned the surroundings, making their way towards the rocky foothills in the distance – the only feature breaking up the flat landscape._

_It was a quiet night, and as they made it to the start of the foothills, Kara ordered them to drive a little further in before stopping. They were doing on an area reconnaissance patrol, observing the foothills for any sign of rebel activity or unsuitable conditions on the terrain. At Kara’s orders, the soldiers took up their positions, surveying the area for any activity or issues. Rebels weren’t usually active in this area, and it was silent, except for the careful tread of her soldiers and the whistling wind._

_No movement._

_Nothing out of the ordinary._

_They patrolled throughout the foothills, going further into the rocky terrain until it gave way to ridges and it became hard to maneuver the jeeps. At Kara’s command, they all disembarked and split off in pairs, scrambling up the ridge to give them a vantage point to survey the rest of the foothills._

_Everything was still._

_Completing their observations and patrol, Kara ordered everyone back to the jeeps and they started moving out, making their way back towards camp. Settling down in her seat, Kara thought about Lena as she was jostled by every bump they drove over. She was preoccupied, thinking about how she’d be home in two weeks, and she didn’t see the flicker of movement in the dark. She wasn’t paying attention - not that she could've done anything to stop it - and then it was too late._

_“LIEUTENANT!”_

_The scream shattered the silent night at the exact moment that a bomb split open the ground in front of the jeep. Kara couldn’t even scream as the jeep flipped, the front part of the car crumpling like paper and the windscreen shattering and glass slicing her face. There were more explosions and the sound of gunfire over shouts split the quiet of the night. As Kara lay there dazed, she fumbled with her seatbelt, finding the clasp and undoing it. On all fours, she scrambled out of the wreckage of the jeep, dragging one of her soldiers out with her. She was surrounded by chaos, and Kara was shouting for her soldiers, trying to make order of the situation. Hefting her gun, she shot into the darkness, which was intermittently lit up by grenades exploding and painting her vision, behind her night vision goggles, with white light. A nearby explosion knocked her off her feet, and Kara lay there, winded, as she tried to calm herself down. Firing more and more bullets against the rebels, she saw one of her soldiers laying by her feet. It was Wilson she realized as she caught sight of his face. He was still breathing, but he had shard of metal from one of the ruined jeeps sticking out of his leg. Kara dragged him away from the fighting, propping him up against a boulder and watching as he hefted his gun and fired back._

_It was chaos._

_Kara looked around. She was only seeing retaliation from a couple of her soldiers – the rest were already dead or dying, blown to pieces in the explosions of shot to death. They had no jeeps – no way of getting back to base. They were stranded. They were stuck in the middle of the fight, with enemies bearing down on them. Kara screamed herself hoarse as she ordered her surviving soldiers to grab anyone alive and take cover. She made her way back over to the soldier she’d left by the boulder, ignoring the pain in her side as she bent down and threw one of his arms over her shoulder. Stumbling through the dark, her night vision goggles the only thing allowing her to see, Kara found a shallow cave in the rocks and set him down in it, hoping he would be hidden from rebel eyes. Running back to the fight, Kara was gasping for air, trying not to let her panic and fear overwhelm her. She was terrified. She’d been in bomb raids before, and found herself in combat situations, but never like this. Never with such a small number of soldiers and with no backup._

_They were alone._

_Kara hoisted her gun and aimed it at the figure running through the fire, heading straight towards her. She let out a choked up sound as she realized it was Mike._

_“Lieutenant!” he shouted, and she grabbed him by the shoulder._

_“Get yourself clear! Wilson’s that way,” Kara shouted at him. He opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off. “That’s an order, soldier!” She brushed past him, running towards the burning jeeps and the billowing smoke. There had to be more of them alive, more of her soldiers – she had to find them, she couldn’t leave them to die. The sound of gunfire was dying off, especially from her soldiers, and she ran through the wreckage. Her gaze fell on one of the women in her platoon – Altman. Grabbing her under her arms, Lena dragged her backwards, struggling slightly with the weight of her equipment and the women._

_“Leave me,” the woman choked out, and Kara let out a wordless yell. She wouldn’t leave her soldiers behind – she couldn’t. They were almost free of the wreckage when another bomb hit. Kara was flung backwards, just outside of the immediate blast range, but the other soldier wasn’t so lucky. She stared at Kara with lifeless eyes, and Kara choked back a sob as she scrambled backwards, her hands finding another corpse of one of her soldiers. Lurching to her feet, Kara staggered away from the now silent fight, trying to stay hidden as she ducked behind rocks and clamped a hand down over her mouth so that she didn’t cry out._

_Three. There were three of them left._

_Behind her, Kara heard the last bomb hit, completely obliterating the remnants of the fight, and Kara choked back a scream of horror at the thought of the empty metal husks and the destroyed bodies that they wouldn’t be able to identify. She held back her tears as she stumbled towards where she’d sent Mike to go and find Wilson. A gun was aimed at her as she came across them both huddled in the cave, Mike keeping watch while Wilson’s head lolled against his chest._

_“Matthews, it’s me,” Kara croaked, and he lowered the gun. “They’re all gone.”_

_“Lieutenant, what do we do now?” Mike asked, his voice shaking slightly as he asked for orders._

_“Get Wilson up. W-we need to find proper shelter, they’re still out there. If we can make it until morning then w-we might stand a chance,” Kara stammered, still in shock. “We need to stay alive. They’ll come, they’ll come and find us.”_

_Mike hoisted Wilson onto his shoulders, and Kara took up a position in front, her gun raised as they quietly crept over the rocks and deeper into the foothills, trying to find shelter. It was freezing and pitch black without their goggled on, and the wind whistled through cracks in the rocks as they stumbled onwards. Eventually, they were too weary to carry on, and as Mike staggered to his knees, trying to keep Wilson balanced, Kara resigned herself to the fact that this was as far as they could go. Dawn was still a few hours off; they would need to find the nearest hiding spot before they passed out. Kara crept away from the two men and searched for a hollow or a cave, even just an overhang of rock that they could huddle beneath._

_“Matthews,” Kara whispered, returning a few moments later. “This way. There’s a small cave.” The three of them soon found themselves squeezed into the cave, and there was barely enough room for them all, but they were grateful for it as they shivered in the cold._

_“He’s bleeding, badly,” Kara said, staring at Wilson’s leg. She had a first aid certificate and Eliza was a doctor, so she knew she had to slow it before he bled to death. He was still wearing his pack, and Kara searched through it for his first aid kit, quickly dumping the contents in her lap. She grabbed the tourniquet and wrapped it as tight as she could with shaking fingers. She didn’t remove the piece of metal, knowing that it was all that was keeping the blood in him, but she worried about infection setting in. Next, she turned her attention to herself. Her uniform was in tatters, not made to withstand bombs – even her name tape and insignias had been ruined - and the exposed part of her skin was burnt, but not too badly. There was nothing Kara could do about those, but the bullet lodged in her shoulder needed to be bandaged. Quickly, Kara stripped off her gear, and let Mike gingerly patch her up before doing himself. There was also a twisted piece of metal piercing her side, but Kara couldn’t pull that out either – it was only small, and she was mindful of it as she carefully tried to bandage around the edge of it, sealing the cut. That was the best she could do in the dark, and at least she had staunched the blood flow. Her ribs were hurting, but there was nothing she could do about that, and Kara just had to hope that they hadn’t pierced any vital organs. She could survive like this for a while._

_“I’ll take the first watch,” Kara murmured, her gun clutched tightly in her hands as she looked out at the dark landscape. Mike didn’t argue, and Wilson was already unconscious, and Kara was left alone with her thoughts and the polaroid of Lena that she’d pulled out of her torn pocket, even though she couldn’t see the photo in the dark. They were alone, just the three of them, and Kara didn’t know how long they would be left alone out here. Exposure was their biggest enemy right now – the rebels having disappeared back to where they came from – and Kara knew just how dangerous exposure could be. They would die out here if they couldn’t find a way back to camp._

_As the sun rose, Kara took off her goggles and stared down at the familiar face smiling out of the photo. She knew that she would do whatever it took to make it back to Lena, back to that smile and those beautiful green eyes – she’d give anything to kiss her lips once more and hear that melodic laugh. As she sat there staring at the photo, Kara became aware of her shock slowly fading and she shivered, pain lancing through her aching body. Too afraid to move, Kara stayed in her cramped position, carefully keeping watch as the sun traced its way across the sky. Night was falling again when Mike roused himself from sleep, and Kara practically passed out where she sat, exhausted from the fight and her not having slept in almost two days. She was oblivious to everything around her, and as she slept, she dreamt of Lena._

_They stayed huddled up in the cave all day, only coming out when night fell so that they could stretch their legs and try and warm themselves up a little before it got too cold and they huddled up next to each other again. Kara was certain that her right foot was broken – the adrenaline from the fight had blocked the pain and she hadn’t felt it until the next day – and she thought perhaps her left hand too, from where she’d been flung off her feet and landed funny. As each day passed, they grew worse and worse. They had little water between the three of them, and barely any food, and they used it sparingly, but still, the food ran out quickly and the water was soon to follow._

_On the fourth day, Wilson died. He’d been running a fever and his leg was swollen to twice the size it should’ve been. Kara tried to make him comfortable, but she was almost delirious by that point, and in so much pain that it hurt to be awake. They moved his body outside when it got dark, covering it with as many small rocks as they could find, before exhaustion took over and they had to resign themselves to the fact that they couldn’t do anything to help him now. After that, there was a little more room in the cave, and Kara sat there numbly, staring out at the night while Mike slept. Perhaps she should’ve let him sleep through the night, but Kara couldn’t help but think of Lena as she nudged Mike awake. It had been four days, they hadn’t been found yet and they would only grow weaker as each day passed._

_“Matthews! Wake up,” Kara hissed, shaking him again. “We have to go. We need to find help.”_

_“Help? How?” Mike mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself as he shivered._

_“W-we’ll walk. Walk until we find a patrol. They’ll find us eventually. Th-they have to,” Kara stammered, looking down at the ring on her left hand. “I’m getting married.”_

_And so they walked._

_They left immediately, walking through the night and most of the following day, until they couldn’t walk anymore. Their packs were heavy, and their arms leaden from the weight of their guns, but they were afraid to leave them behind in case they were attacked again. The two of them kept a close eye on their surroundings, alert for any sign of rebels, and praying for a patrol to stumble upon them. They didn’t know if they were going in the right direction – they just walked. On and on they walked, finding the easiest path possible and following it as far as they could, before following the next path that they found. The water ran out a day later, and Kara knew they couldn’t last much longer in the sweltering heat of the desert. Perhaps a day or two more before they succumbed to dehydration – depending on whether or not they rested during the day. They had long since started starving, and Kara felt a weakness she’d never experienced settle into her bones as she dragged herself onwards._

_She had to make it home, she’d promised Lena. They were getting married. Lena was waiting for her. Lena. Lena. Lena. She ran through every thought of Kara’s. She was the only thing keeping Kara going, and the thought of her mom, and her sister, and Maggie. She had to make it home. They were waiting._

_Eight days after the explosion they made it to the end of the foothills, and to their joy they saw clouds dust in the distance, gradually growing closer as they approached. Cars. They didn’t know whose they were, but a quick death would be better than suffering if they turned out to be rebels. Either way, they were saved. They stumbled out of the rocks, and Kara weakly waved a hand above her head, the other clutching Mike to keep her balance. The cars grew closer, and a sound of joy escaped Kara’s mouth as she saw that it was a military jeep. With a hoarse shout – the only sound she’d made in days – Kara took two lurching steps forward and passed out._

_The next time she woke, five days had passed. The first thing that came out of her mouth when her eyelids fluttered open was Lena’s name._

_“Is that your name?” a distinctly British voice asked. So it had been the British who had rescued them. Kara opened her eyes, staring up at the woman above her, and blinked slowly. She was a doctor, by the look of things, and she quickly put her stethoscope in her ears and listened to Kara’s heartbeat. Satisfied, she pulled back and gave Kara a small smile. “I’m Doctor Walker. Can you tell me who you are?”_

_“Lieutenant Kara Danvers,” Kara croaked, coughing slightly due to her dry throat. The doctor poured her some water and helped her take a sip before settling her back down against the thin pillow. Kara couldn’t remember being so comfortable in all her life. “Fifty-second Infantry Regiment.”_

_“An American,” the woman smiled. “We thought so from your equipment, but we had no idea who you were. You’re lucky to be alive – you and the other soldier.”_

_“Is he awake?” Kara asked._

_“Not yet,” Walker said. “We’ve been waiting for one of you to wake up so we could find out who you belong to. You’ve been out cold for five days.”_

_“Five days? I have to go. I’m supposed to be going home,” Kara exclaimed, her voice scratchy as she spoke. “I-I have to go.”_

_“You’re not going anywhere just yet,” Walker said, pressing a struggling Kara back against the pillows, gently but firmly. “You took a bullet to the shoulder, a perforated abdomen, a broken wrist and foot as well as a couple of ribs, second degree burns to thirty percent of your body, as well as severe dehydration and malnourishment. What the hell happened? You’re lucky to be alive, especially out there. How long were you wandering around out there?”_

_“Rebels,” Kara whispered. “There were fi-fifteen of us – we were patrolling. That was … thirteen days ago, I-I think. Three of us made it out, but then he-“_

_“I’m sorry,” Walker said, giving Kara a sad smile. Taking a shuddering breath, Kara rested her head against the pillows and shut her eyes._

_“I need to get back to base. I’m supposed to be going home. What’s the date today?” Kara asked._

_“The fourteenth,” Walker replied, peeling back Kara’s bandages and tenderly checking her wounds. Kara didn’t even wince – she supposed the past five days where she was unconscious had worked wonders for her recovery._

_“I’m supposed to be home tomorrow. I have a fiancé, we’re getting married. Sh-she’s waiting for me. I promised,” Kara stammered._

_“I’ll inform my superior officer. They’ll sort this out for you. We’ll get you back to your camp tonight, maybe. If they’re quick,” Walker assured Kara, who gave her a small smile._

_And they did sort it out. Phone calls were made and Kara and Mike were both airlifted back to their base and turned over to the American army. They were both put with the other wounded soldiers, and Kara dozed as she waited for everything to get sorted out. Her commanding officer came and questioned her for a while, about the attack and everything that followed. She told Kara about what they’d uncovered at the wreckage of the fight, and that they’d all been presumed dead, and it felt like Kara had been punched in the chest. She’d known the chances of anyone else escaping had been slim, but thirteen of her soldiers now lay dead – half of them with no bodies to send home._

_The following evening, she was strapped down on a gurney, medical equipment covering her, measuring her heart rate and blood pressure while fluid was pumped into her. She was coming home. She’d promised Lena she would be home today, and she was keeping that promise – if only a few hours later than expected. She hadn’t been allowed to call Lena, or her family, she’d barely managed to keep her eyes open, but they said they’d phone for her and let them know._

_And then she was being wheeled off the roof of the hospital and into a ward, and Kara blinked as she looked up at the ceiling, hearing the sounds of patients dying and the fluorescent lights humming. And then she had been put into a private room, left to sleep while she waited for her family to show up. Waited for Lena._

_\---_

 

            Kara took a shuddering breath, and Lena wiped the tears from her face for her, even as she cried herself. “I can’t, I’m sorry, I can’t talk about it,” Kara whispered.

 

            “Shh, it’s okay, you don’t have to say anything,” Lena murmured, and Kara closed her eyes as Eliza stroked her hair from where she stood next to Kara’s head.

 

            “Just rest now, sweetheart,” Eliza told her, and Kara closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm herself down as Eliza bent down to press a lingering kiss to her daughter’s forehead.

 

            “We’ll be here when you’re ready to tell us,” Alex told her, as Lena lifted the hand that wasn’t in a cast and pressing a kiss to Kara’s palm. “You’re safe now.”

 

            “I’m home,” Kara said breathlessly, her lips twitching up into a smile as more tears filled her eyes. “I kept my promise.”

 

            “You did,” Lena tearfully laughed, cupping Kara’s cheek with a shaking hand. “Thank you.”

 

            “I-I kept thinking about how we’re getting m-married,” Kara sobbed. “I h-had to come home. I would’ve had to actually be d-dead to not come home.” They all smiled with relief, glad that that wasn’t the case, and a part of Lena still felt like this wasn’t real. “I-I’m sorry I was a little bit late.”

 

            Lena let out a small groan. “Late! Kara Danvers, you could’ve shown up three years late for all I care, as long as you came home to me! We’ve been out of our minds! I-I thought I would never-, oh god, I-I didn’t think I was going to see you ever again.” And then Lena was sobbing, and all of her bottled up emotions came pouring out, because Kara was safe and she was going to be okay, and they were back together. All of her fears and grief faded into the back of her mind, and all Lena could think of was that her prayers had been answered. With a shaking hand, Kara reached out and cupped Lena’s face, and Lena covered it with her own hand, letting out a choked up laugh at the feeling of Kara’s touch.

 

            “I’m s-sorry,” Kara sobbed. “I’m so sorry, to all of you. I-I didn’t mean for this t-to happen. I put you through hell, I-I know. You were the only thing keeping me g-going, I knew I couldn’t let you think that I-“

 

            “Shh, it’s okay, love,” Eliza reassured Kara, even as she cried herself, calming her down as the heart rate monitor sped up as Kara panicked. “We know. We’re just so relieved, oh god, we’re so happy you’re safe.”

 

            “Oh god,” Lena cried. “I’ll never ask for anything else in my life. I just-, I love you so much. Please never do anything like that again. I-I can’t believe it, I-, you’re here. You’re here, and I … oh god, I just-, I love you so much. I can’t even describe it. I think I love you more in this moment than I’ve ever loved you before. I swear to god, Kara Danvers, you better marry me because I just-, I don’t want to imagine living without you ever again. Please, just marry me.”

 

            “Relax, you’re already engaged,” Maggie laughed, her voice thick with emotion as she joked, and they all laughed.

 

            “I’ve missed you all so much,” Kara sighed, her breathing hitching on a sob as she gazed at each of their faces in turn, before landing on Lena’s. She stared into the familiar green eyes, and her own crinkled at the corner’s as she smiled, and Lena’s face split into an answering smile at the sight. Lena would appreciate that eye crinkling smile every day for the rest of her life.

 

\---

 

            Eliza spoke to the soldiers and they soon left, and Lillian made a quick appearance in the room before kissing her daughter goodnight and heading back to Lena’s apartment. Lena was curled up next to Kara on the bed, as close as she could get as she rested her head on Kara’s chest, listening to the reassuring steady heartbeat. Alex sat at the foot of the bed, watching her sister doze, while Maggie had left to get food and coffee from the cafeteria. Kara was drowsy from the medication they had pumped her with and Lena and Alex spoke in quiet tones as they tried not to disturb her.

 

            “It doesn’t feel real,” Lena mumbled, one finger trailing along the cast encasing Kara’s hand as she stared up at Kara’s face. She couldn’t tear her eyes away, not even for a second - a part of her was afraid that if she turned away from her for a second, she’d disappear.

 

            “I know,” Alex whispered. “I-I never-, I-, we couldn’t have known. We were so quick to-“

 

            “I know,” Lena said, her voice shaking. “We couldn’t have known though. I thought that I-I _would_ know … but I believed that she was gone. I-I gave up on her, Alex. She dragged herself h-home and we didn’t even _know_.”

 

            “W-we can’t blame ourselves for that,” Alex quickly reassured Lena, as much as herself. “All the facts …”

 

            Lena swallowed the lump in her throat. “Right.”

 

            And Alex was right; the facts had pointed towards Kara being dead. There had been no body, she hadn’t contacted them, her ID tags had been found amongst the wreckage, and some bodies had been turned into red mist by the explosions, so of _course_ they would assume she was gone. It still hurt Lena to think about what Kara had endured in that week where she’d been missing – and not knowing what _had_ actually happened led Lena to envision the worst things imaginable, and now her heart was breaking in a new way. This time it was breaking not _because_ of Kara, but _for_ Kara, and Lena knew that things were far from being over.

 

            They were silent for a moment as they both watched Kara sleep, and tears slid down Lena’s cheeks, soaking into the front of Kara’s hospital gown. It wasn’t until she sniffed that Alex looked at her with concern. “You okay?” she asked, and Lena let out a quiet laugh, wiping her eyes.

 

            “Yeah, I just-, I never thought I’d get to watch her sleep again,” Lena said, smiling slightly as she looked at Kara’s peaceful face.

 

            “That’s not creepy at all,” Maggie said as she walked into with her arms full. Lena didn’t even look at her as she flipped her off, earning two quiet laughs and a quiet gasp.

 

            “Lena Luthor, I saw that,” Eliza said in mock outrage as she followed Maggie in and shut the door. They all quietly laughed again, and Lena slowly sat up as Eliza approached the bed, giving the machines and her daughter a once over to make sure she was okay. Lena was feeling a dozen different emotions and she couldn’t imagine what Eliza was going through – this was her _daughter_. All she knew was that all four of them were more relieved than they could even begin to explain, even if everything else was confusing. Maggie handed Lena a sandwich and a takeaway coffee cup, and the four of them silently sat there listening to Kara’s steady breathing and the rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor.

 

            "I never thought I'd see you all together again," Eliza murmured after a moment, smiling slightly as she looked at Kara. "My girls."

 

\---       

 

            It was late, and the only sound came from the machines whirring and beeping as the five of them slept. The doctors hadn’t had the heart to remove them, understanding the circumstances, and they bent the rules a little and let them all stay with Kara. She was in her own room anyway, so they weren’t interrupting anyone else. Kara lay against the pillows, her eyes moving beneath closed eyelids as she breathed deeply in a drugged sleep. Lena lay next to her, her head on Kara’s chest again and one arm wrapped around her waist as she muttered nonsense in her sleep. The other three were sat in chairs, and somehow still touching the bed, still making sure that Kara was there, safe.

 

            All five of them were exhausted, but they were all right where they belonged – together.


	65. Chapter 65

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I witnessed the best film ever made with my own two eyes? I will never get over how amazing Wonder Woman was, like honestly, go and see it. 
> 
> Also thank you, you guys are actually the best? I appreciate every comment and the fact that you're still here 65 chapters in lmao.

            Lena was torn from sleep by a loud scream. She bolted upright, instantly alert as she quickly turned her attention to Kara, who was thrashing around as she screamed. Reaching out to touch her, she stopped at the sound of her mother’s voice.

 

            “No, don’t touch her,” Lillian warned Lena, who pulled her hand back. “Get out of bed as slowly as you can.” Lena obeyed, watching Kara with wide eyes as she slipped off the bed and went to Alex’s side, who had also been woken by Kara’s screams. They silently watched as Lillian stood next to the bed, staring down at Kara with a slight frown.

 

            “Kara, can you hear me?” Lillian gently asked. “It’s Lillian. You’re safe. You’re just dreaming, you’re not there. It’s not real. Shh, you’re safe, you’re home.” Lena felt a lump rise in her throat as she watched Kara calm down at Lillian’s soothing tone, and her yelling turned into unintelligible murmurs. Slowly, she opened her eyes, and Lena moved back to her bedside, looking down at her with fear and concern.

 

            “Kara,” she murmured, and those blue eyes met her own. A frown graced Kara’s face, forming a crease between her eyebrows as she stared up at Lena.

 

            “I thought I’d dreamt you,” Kara whispered, letting out a breathless sob as she reached out for Lena. Lena sat down on the edge of the bed, cupping Kara’s face between her hands as she looked at Kara through her tears.

 

            “I’m here. You’re safe,” Lena assured her.

 

            “Safe,” Kara mumbled, furrowing her brow slightly. “Right. It was just a nightmare.”

 

            “I’ll give you a moment,” Lillian mumbled, turning around and walking out of the room. Kara frowned at the door as it shut behind Lillian.

 

            “Your mom’s here?” she said, giving Lena a questioning look, and Lena realized she’d been asleep when Lillian had finally come into the room yesterday.

 

            “She got us all here,” Alex explained. “Threatened to buy the whole airport and fire the staff if they didn’t get her jet ready so her darling daughter could be reunited with her long lost love. It was kind of badass.”

 

            “Really?” Kara asked, her eyebrows shooting up, and Lena gave her a small shrug as she smiled.

 

            “If she didn’t, I would’ve,” Lena said, running a thumb along Kara’s cheekbone. A part of her just needed to touch Kara to know that she was actually here, that yesterday hadn’t been a dream, and she was actually safe. “I love you.”

 

            “I love you too,” Kara croaked. She looked exhausted, and the dark rings under her eyes weren’t just from a restless sleep, and Lena frowned slightly.

 

            “You should sleep some more,” she told Kara. “Do you need more pain meds? I can get my mom to talk to the doctors. It’ll help you sleep better.”

 

            Kara shook her head, making a sound of protest. “I-I don’t want to sleep. I can’t-, I-I can’t bear to see their faces. I just-“

 

            “Okay, it’s okay, you don’t have to,” Alex reassured her, giving Kara’s hands a gentle squeeze. “Just … take your time okay? I love you, so please don’t overexert yourself. You’ve, … well, I mean, I can’t imagine, but you’ve had a rough two weeks. So please, just keep rest.”

 

            “Just focus on getting better,” Lena told her, leaning down to press a kiss to Kara’s forehead. “I-I know that’s probably not comforting, but I just-, I-I need you to look after yourself. Please.”

 

            “I can’t do this without you,” Kara choked out, panicking slightly. “I-I’ve been so alone, I can’t-, please don’t leave me alone. I need you. I need you to help me, I-I don’t know how-“

 

            “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here. I’ll never leave you alone. I’m not leaving your side ever again. We’ve got you, we’re all here,” Lena tearfully told her, pressing a kiss to the back of Kara’s cast.

 

            Kara took a deep breath to calm herself down, nodding as she closed her eyes. “I just-, I need you.”

 

            “We’re not going anywhere,” Alex murmured, giving her sister a small smile. “After the two weeks we just had, nothing can scare us away now. W-we didn’t think we’d ever see you again.”

 

            “I know,” Kara sniffled. “I didn’t either. For a moment, I-I thought …”

 

            “You don’t have to talk about it,” Lena told her. “Just rest now. Let’s get you better and take you home.”

 

            “Home,” Kara whispered. “I’ve been dreaming about home for months. I’m already home – I’m with you. You waited.”

 

            “I would’ve waited forever,” Lena said, and Kara gave her a small smile.

 

            The door opened then, and Eliza walked in with Maggie and Lillian. They were carrying coffee and some more food from the cafeteria. Eliza’s face lit up with a smile as she looked at Kara, and she put the drinks down on the tray as she approached the bed. With trembling hands, she reached out for her daughter, stroking her hair as she gave her a once over.

 

            “How are you feeling, sweetheart?” Eliza asked.

 

            “I don’t know,” Kara answered honestly. Her eyes glistened slightly as if they were about to fill with tears, but she held them back as she looked up at her mom. “I just-, I’m relieved t-to be home. I don’t know about everything else but-“

 

            “Okay, honey,” Eliza soothingly said. “It’s okay. Just take your time.”

 

            “I love you, mom,” Kara said, and Lena smiled as she watched the quiet exchange between the two of them. She was grateful beyond belief that Kara had found her way back to them – not just to herself, but to her whole family. They’d all been through hell for two weeks, and while that wouldn’t go away overnight, the impact that Kara’s return had had was visible in the sparkle in her sister’s eyes and the light feeling Lena was experiencing as the grief slowly faded. Lena turned to look at her own mom, and Lillian gave her a small smile as she nodded. Lena would always be grateful for what her mom had done for her over the past two weeks – there would be no comping back from that big leap in their relationship, and Lena realized that she had finally forgiven her. After everything, Kara had been the one thing that had pushed them together, and Lena realized just how much Kara had changed her life – alive and apparently dead.

 

            “I brought you some clothes,” Lillian quietly told Lena, gesturing towards the big bag that she’d brought in when she’d snuck into the room earlier on. “And some for everyone else. I grabbed as many different sizes as I could – I think some of it’s Kara’s. I also brought you some books – I figured you wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon so, yeah. Did you need me to bring anything else?”

 

            “No, it’s fine. Thanks mom,” Lena smiled at her, and Lillian nodded at her thanks.

 

            “I’m going to sneak a shower and get changed then,” Maggie said, unzipping the bag and pulling out some of the smaller sizes, before disappearing into the private bathroom. She wasn’t too long, and after she got out, Lena decided to shower too, even though she was hesitant to leave Kara even for just a second. She had her mom though, and her sister, and she’d only be a couple of metres away, so Lena relented and pulled out some clean clothes and walked into the bathroom. As Lena stripped off her pants, she realized the crumped letter was still in her pocket, and she drew it out with shaking hands as she sat on the toilet lid, staring at her name written on it in Kara’s handwriting. One day. It had only been one day since she’d read that letter, and everything had changed so much since then. Lena was confused as she sat there, holding the letter tightly. After a long while, there was a light tap on the door, and Lena looked up at it. “Lena? Are you okay?” Lillian’s voice floated through. “I’m, uh, I’m coming in.”

 

            Lena held back a sigh as her mom opened the door and walked inside, taking in the sight of her daughter holding the letter in her hand as she stared at it with a thoughtful expression on her face. “I just-, uh, I was just thinking.”

 

            “Are you okay?” Lillian asked again, hesitantly walking towards Lena.

 

            “I don’t know,” Lena admitted, feeling her eyes well up with tears. She didn’t want to cry – she’d done enough crying to last a lifetime, but she was just so confused. “I-I don’t know what to do, mom.”

 

            “Oh honey,” Lillian sighed, crouching down in front of Lena. “It’s okay. This is a big shock, I know that, but it’s a good one. This is better than you could have ever imagined. You’re going to be okay – _Kara’s_ going to be okay.”

 

            “Is she though?” Lena asked sharply. “What if she’s not? What if I can’t help her and- and I-“

 

            “You’re scared,” Lillian softly told her. “That’s okay. It’s okay to be scared … but she needs you. Now more than ever. And you need her too, because you know that you can’t live without her. You might’ve thought that before, but now you _know_ that you can’t. She needs your help, Lena. She needs your love, and your patience and your kindness. She won’t be able to do this alone, and I’m sorry that you’re going to have to go through this, but you love her. I _know_ that. I know that now, and I know that this is it for both of you, there’s no one else, and there’s no mistake. You both won’t be happy without each other. She dragged herself through hell to make it back to you, and I will never be able to thank her enough for that – for giving you back your happiness. And for bringing you back to me. That girl … god, that girl loves you more than I’ve ever seen anyone love before, and I want you to be happy Lena. So you’re going to be strong, for her and for yourself, and you’re going to make it through this. You’re going to get married, and you’re going to live the life you deserve. You’re going to be happy, Lena. I want this for you more than anything, and she’s going to give you that.”

 

            Lena let out a breathless sob, and her shoulders shook as she rested her forehead on Lillian’s shoulder. Her mom’s arms came up to wrap themselves around Lena, and for a few minutes, Lena let herself be held while she cried out all of her fear and worry. Lillian was right – she would get through this. Kara needed her now, needed her to be strong, and she needed Kara too. Sitting up straight, Lena wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. She gave her mom a nod and Lillian pulled back, looking at her daughter with concern. They both stood up, and Lena set the letter down on the edge of the sink before fumbling with the buttons on her shirt. Lillian left her alone to shower, and Lena let the hot water course over her back as she let out a shaky breath. After everything that had happened, she was beyond relieved and ecstatic that Kara was okay, but it was what came next that worried her.

 

            Dressed in clean clothes, Lena grabbed the letter and slipped back into the room. Her eyes instantly landed on Kara’s, and Lena felt a bit lighter after her cry in the bathroom, and smiled lovingly at Kara. She would never get used to looking at her – looking at those eyes full of love and warmth, or her mouth, which was usually always upturned in a smile. Every inch of her was perfect, and every time Lena looked at her, it was like she was looking at her for the first time. It was like she was back in that café, staring up at the hopeful expression on Kara’s face as she intruded in Lena’s life. It seemed so long ago, but nothing had changed, not for them, even if a lot of things had changed. She was still the most beautiful person Lena had ever seen, and she was more in love with her than ever before.

 

            “Where’s our moms?” Lena asked as she walked closer to the bed.

 

            “Just talking to some doctors,” Maggie explained. “Eliza wanted a second opinion so your mom went too.”

 

            “What’ve you got there?” Kara asked as Lena settled down on the edge of the bed and brushed the hair out of Kara’s face, just so that she could touch her.

 

            “This?” Lena asked, her eyebrows shooting up as she gave Kara an unimpressed look. “What is _this?_ I think you knew very well what it is, Kara Danvers.”

 

            Kara let out a small laugh, and Maggie smiled from where she sat. “I’ll warrant yours was less threatening than mine, Luthor.”

 

            “Threatening?” Alex asked, shooting her sister a questioning look.

 

            “That’s between me and Maggie,” Kara mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed. “It was a 'just in case' thing, so just ignore it.”

 

            “Ignore it?” Lena spluttered, pulling her letter out of the envelope and unfolding it with a flourish. “You want me to ignore this? You want me to ignore the fact that you told me to move on and find someone else if you died? What kind of shit is that? Did you really think I would _ever_ be able to just _move on_?”

 

            Kara cleared her throat a little, looking at Alex for help as she tried to find a way to make Lena see things from her point of view. “Well … I mean, I wanted you to. Well no, I didn’t _want_ you to, but I didn’t want you to be miserable, so I mean, I _kind_ of wanted you to. Anyway, I’m home! So we can just forget anything I said and pretend like I just came home normally.”

 

            “Everything? What about the part where you told me that I was better than you in every way?” Alex asked, raising one eyebrow as she smiled.

 

            Kara rolled her eyes as she smiled back at her. “Well I wasn’t lying. You have many qualities that I admire more, and I was just, well, grateful that you were my sister. I don’t think that’s a surprise though, I mean, you already know this. I feel like you all already know what I told you in my letters, I was just stating the obvious, kind of. I don’t know. Whatever.”

 

            “So, when you said you would come back and haunt me if I hurt your sister, that was just something I should already know?” Maggie asked. “Because you’re not exactly threatening, kid. You’re like … I don’t know, Judy Hopps level of threatening?”

 

            “Judy Hopps?” Lena asked, frowning in confusion.

 

            “You haven’t made her watch Zootopia yet?” Kara gasped, giving Maggie an accusatory look. “Thank god I’m back, what kind of mess did I come home to?”

 

            “It’s a rabbit,” Alex explained, giving Lena an exasperated look. “She’s a police officer – good at her job but not exactly threatening.”

 

            “Ah, right. So perfect for your sister then,” Lena smiled, looking back at Kara, who was looking at her with betrayal.

 

            “I’m reenlisting,” Kara said after a moment, and they all narrowed their eyes at her and pressed their lips together. No one was impressed with her joke and she huffed as she rolled her eyes.

 

            “Whatever,” Kara muttered, wincing slightly as she struggled into a more upright position. “I guess I’ll just mope around for a while and never smile ever again.”

 

            “Kara,” Lena sighed, tilting her head to the side as she gave her a pained look. “We just got you back. W-we don’t know what happened, and I’m not saying you should tell us, but just … this isn’t a laughing matter.”

 

            “You don’t think I know that?” Kara harshly snapped, wincing slightly as soon as the words slipped out. “I’m sorry, but I-I can’t-, I don’t want to think about it, so I need to just … I need to act like it’s fine.”

 

            “But it’s not,” Lena whispered, her voice full of pity.

 

            “I don’t need your pity,” Kara said, staring up at the ceiling. “I-I don’t deserve it.”

 

            “Kara, please,” Lena whispered. She was aware of Maggie silently tapping Alex on the shoulder and jerking her head towards the door. The two of them slipped out, leaving Lena alone with Kara for the first time in months. “You-“

 

            “I watched them die, Lena,” Kara whispered, afraid to raise her voice any louder because she wouldn’t be able to stop it from shaking. “There were fifteen of us, and three of us made it out.”

 

            “Three? But I thought-“ Lena mumbled, frowning slightly.

 

            Kara let out a cold laugh. “Yeah … only t-two of us made it h-home. H-he’s still out there, I-I don’t know where we were. We left hi-his body behind.”

 

            “There’s nothing you could’ve done,” Lena told her, her voice shaking as she reached out to cup Kara’s cheek, falling short as Kara turned her head to the side, staring at the wall.

 

            “I was their commanding officer. I-I should’ve saved them. All of them- they’re all g-gone,” Kara whispered, her voice hitching on the last word. “It was hell. I-I’m scared to cl-close my eyes. I-I can still hear their screams, and the b-bombs. I shouldn’t be here; I don’t _deserve_ to be here when they’re all-”

 

            “Shh,” Lena said, trying to hold back her sobs. It hurt her to hear what Kara had been through, it hurt her to hear it and it hurt her to know that Kara had _lived_ through it. “Don’t say that. Don’t you ever say you don’t deserve to be here. Y-you did what you could, you saved th-that other guy. _You_ saved him. Just ... tell me how I can help you. Tell me what t-to do.”

 

            “Stop it. Don’t. I can’t do this,” Kara cried. “I c-can’t-, I just-, I need you to promise me you won’t let me go. I can’t-”

 

            “I promise,” Lena swore. “I’ll never leave you alone. I-I couldn’t even if I tried - you’re the best thing that’s ever been mine. We’ll make it through this together.”

 

            “Lena,” Kara breathlessly sobbed, turning to look up at her. “Kiss me.”

 

            And so Lena leant down and gently pressed her lips against Kara’s, smiling slightly as she felt her push back. As long as they had each other they would figure things out together. Lena wasn't going anywhere, and she'd do anything that Kara asked her to. She would help her get better in any way that she could, and she wasn't going anywhere.

 

            “I love you.”


	66. Chapter 66

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I've been studying for exams/crying over Wonder Woman so I've been quite busy. I've been told that this is now the most read supercorp fic though, so thank you so much!!! You're all amazing and I'm so grateful to you all for reading this - it makes writing it more than worth it.

            They kept Kara in hospital for a week, but by that point she was physically well on her way to recovery. She’d suffered a slight infection in her burns, from days of exposure to dirt, but after almost two weeks on antibiotics and other pain medications her burns were healing nicely, and broken bones could be fixed, so they discharged her. Lena was hesitant to let Kara come home, but after seven days of nightmares and screaming, she thought that it might help Kara to be in a familiar bedroom. She might feel safe; she might know that she was home while she was sleeping, and that might make her nightmares a bit better. Perhaps things would get better once she was truly home.

 

            That last week had been the best and worst time of Lena’s life; she was grateful for every second that she spent with Kara, knowing how precious they were. Yet she was worried sick, and every time Kara would jerk away from her touch, or wake up screaming, it hurt Lena to think about how much pain and suffering Kara was going through. She wished more than anything that she could trade places with Kara, or take her pain away. Anything to make it easier for her. Over the week that Kara was in hospital, Lena hadn’t left her side. She’d slept in a chair in Kara’s room every night, and relied on her mom to bring her clothes and food. The only time she moved was when Kara needed to use the bathroom, otherwise, she just sat by Kara’s side, reading poems to her or watching her sleep. For the most part, Kara was silent, laying in the hospital bed and staring at Lena as she listened to her talk. Sometimes it felt like she wasn’t there, not mentally, and Lena didn’t know how to help bring her back.

 

            The day that Kara went home, it was raining, and Lena had never appreciated the dreary weather so much before. She wanted things to be as different as possible to Afghanistan, in the hope that Kara would feel like she was safe, and not be reminded of anything over there. She turned away from the window as the bathroom door opened and Alex wheeled Kara back into the bedroom. She was fully dressed in some of her clothes that were at Lena’s place, and she looked more life herself, except for the dark circles under her eyes and the gaunt look of her face. Lena gave her a small smile as their eyes met.

 

            “Are you ready?” Lena asked her, zipping up the bag full of the things Lillian had brought in over the course of the past week.

 

            “Mom’s just asking them to get her discharge papers ready,” Alex explained, picking up Kara’s coat and helping her put it on, much to Kara’s irritation.

 

            “Let’s go home,” Kara softly said, as soon as Alex finished zipping up the front of her coat. Lena gave her a small smile at the thought.

 

\---

 

            They thought it’d be a good idea to take her home to Midvale, so that Kara could have some quiet time in the countryside, away from the hustle and bustle of the loud city. Lillian had Lena’s jet readied for them, and was staying in National City to manage the company while Lena was away. The flight felt longer than it was, and Lena kept anxiously looking at Kara to make sure the flight wasn’t too much for her, but by the looks of things, it was uninteresting and boring to Kara, who stared out the window the entire time. A few hours later they found themselves in Eliza’s living room, each holding a cup of tea as they watched TV. Kara was laying with her feet in Lena’s lap, scratching Athena’s head as the dog lay curled up on the floor next to Kara. She didn’t talk. She just stared at the screen, but her gaze was unfocused and she wasn’t concentrating on the cooking show Eliza had put on – it was the safest option they could think of. Cooking shows weren’t exactly full of sounds of warfare or loud noises. As they all sat in the living room, Lena kept sneaking glances at Kara out of the corner of her eye, just to make sure she was okay. As her eyes flickered over to Kara yet again, her look was met with a sigh.

 

            “What is it?” Kara asked.

 

            “What?” Lena frowned, fully looking at Kara.

 

            Kara closed her eyes for a moment. “You keep looking at me.”

 

            “Am-, uh, am I not allowed to?” Lena asked, raising her eyebrows slightly.

 

            Kara’s eyes flew open and she gave Lena an exasperated look. “You don’t have to keep checking up on me. I’m not going to vanish into thin air.”

 

            “Well I want to … check up on you, that is,” Lena told her. “I, uh, it’s reassuring … and I like looking at you.”

 

            “Lena,” Kara said, smiling slightly. “Just watch the damn show. You might need to know this, for the next time you cook chicken.” Lena let out a quiet laugh, and Alex and Maggie joined in as they watched the chef take the chicken out of the oven. That damn chicken. Kara had been presumed dead for two weeks and she still couldn’t let the raw chicken go. They watched the chef prepare the rest of the meal, and was interrupted by Kara’s stomach rumbling. Lena shot her an amused look, arching one eyebrow as she smiled.

 

            “Hungry?” Lena asked. “Do you want me to make you something to eat? I’ll cook you a chicken like hers.”

 

            “I could _really_ go for some Chinese,” Kara admitted, looking over at Eliza. “Can we get it for dinner, mom?”

 

            Eliza was silent as she thought for a moment. “Are you sure you’ll be able to keep it down, sweetie? You’ve only been back on solids for a week, and, well, hospital food is quite bland. Chinese food might be a bit too rich for you to stomach.”

 

            “Please,” Kara begged. “I’ve been thinking about it for _months_. You know how much I love Chinese takeaway.”

 

            With a sigh of defeat, Eliza gave her daughter a smile. “Alright then. I’ll order it now, for later on though. Do you want something small for now?”

 

            “Thank you, and yes please,” Kara said, giving her a small smile.

 

            “Um, we’re going to head out for a little bit,” Alex said, getting up off the couch as Maggie followed suit. “We won’t be long.”

 

            “Where are you going?” Lena asked.

 

            Alex shrugged. “Just out. We’ve been mostly cooped up in a hospital room for a week, I need some fresh air. It wouldn’t hurt for you to do the same – both of you.”

 

            “Yeah, sure,” Lena agreed, knowing fully well that she was going to stay by Kara’s side all night. “Uh, stay safe.”

 

            “Don’t worry, Luthor,” Maggie smirked. “She’s with me.” Lena rolled her eyes as Maggie walked out into the hallway, followed by Alex, who stopped to kiss her sister on the forehead before walking out. Eliza walked into the kitchen, clutching her phone in her hand as she went to place their takeaway order, leaving Lena alone with Kara. She peeked at Kara again, noticing the unfocused look in her eyes as she stared in the direction of the TV.

 

            “Kara,” Lena murmured. She didn’t even blink, and Lena frowned slightly as she gave the foot in her lap a gentle squeeze. “Hey, Kara, come back.”

 

            “What?” Kara asked, turning her head to look at Lena.

 

            “Y-you weren’t watching it,” Lena said, looking at Kara with concern.

 

            Kara shrugged slightly, not meeting Lena’s eyes. “It’s not that interesting.”

 

            “Oh … well we can watch something else if you want to,” Lena told her, reaching for the remote.

 

            “Whatever you want,” Kara murmured, looking up at the ceiling.

 

            “What do you want to watch?” Lena asked her.

 

            Kara shrugged again. “I don’t care.”

 

            “Please, just pick something,” Lena told her, frowning slightly at Kara’s disinterest. She hated to see her like this. The past two weeks Kara had been uninterested in everything, spending a lot of her time just listening to Lena talk, but not taking in the words. She couldn’t concentrate on anything, she just kept replaying that night over and over again in her mind – not that she told Lena that though. Even when her eyes were open, Kara still relived everything in her mind – the blinding white fire through her night vision goggles; the weight of Altman as Kara tried to drag her away from the wreckage; the screams destroying the silence of the cool night, along with the sounds of guns firing in rapid bursts. It all replayed itself in Kara’s mind over and over again, and it was almost like she was paralysed. Even when she was awake, listening to Lena talk, it was like she wasn’t really present in her body. A part of her was still in Afghanistan, and Kara wasn’t sure if she’d ever get that part of her back.

 

            “I don’t want to watch anything,” Kara admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

 

            “Do you want to go to sleep for a little bit? Or listen to some music? I could read to you if you’d like,” Lena offered, trying to get Kara to show some interest in something, _anything_. Instead she was met by silence.

 

            “No,” Kara told her after a minute.

 

            Lena held back a sigh at Kara’s words. She’d promised herself that she’d be patient with Kara, and mindful of what she wanted and needed from Lena. Whatever she asked for, Lena would give it to her. “What do you want to do then?”

 

            “Nothing,” Kara mumbled, blinking slowly as she held her gaze on a fixed point on the ceiling. Lena picked up the TV remote and hit the off button, plunging the room into silence. Her gaze was on Kara, who didn’t so much as acknowledge the sudden silence filling the room. She just stared up at the ceiling, as if Lena wasn’t even there. If she didn’t want to do anything, then Lena would do nothing with her.

 

            Eliza finished ordering their food and wandered back into the living room, handing Kara and Lena plates with sandwiches on them. She didn’t even question the switched off TV and the silence as she sat herself back down on the other sofa and reached for a book. Lena tore her gaze away from Kara for a moment to look at Eliza, who gave her a sympathetic smile. There was nothing any of them could do, except help Kara feel safe and loved as she figured this out for herself. She was confused, and she was hurting, and until she was ready to tell them the whole story, they would just have to create a safe space for her, to make her transition back into the real world as smooth as possible. The last thing any of them wanted was for her to be triggered by something relating to the ambush, for her to have to flashbacks of that night and the following week. All they could do was pray that they could keep her grounded.

 

            Lena felt a lump rise up in her throat as she picked up her sandwich and took a bite. Things weren’t going to be easy. She just wanted her Kara back.

 

\---

 

            Kara didn’t talk much throughout dinner, except to comment on how amazing the food was and how much she’d missed it. Alex and Maggie had bought a chocolate pecan pie from the diner on their walk to surprise Kara, and Lena was grateful when she saw a spark of happiness in Kara’s eyes as Eliza set a slice down in front of her. It was the most emotion she’d shown since they’d all gotten their cries of relief out of the way when they’d been reunited.

 

            After dinner, they watched TV for a little while longer, before Lena suggested that Kara get an early night’s sleep – the flight had been tiring as well as the excitement of Kara’s homecoming, and Lena didn’t want Kara to overexert herself. Eliza kissed Kara and Lena on the forehead, before carefully helping Lena get Kara to her feet. Alex came and looped one of Kara’s arms around her shoulder, and Lena copied her on the other side. Between the two of them, they managed to get Kara upstairs, and Alex helped Lena set her down on the bed. “You good?” Alex asked them both, looking from Kara to Lena.

 

            “Yeah,” Kara assured her, and at Lena’s slight nod, Alex kissed her sister on the top of the head and murmured goodnight. As the door shut behind Alex, Lena walked over to the dressed and pulled out some pyjamas for them both, and set about carefully stripping off Kara’s clothes and helping her dress in the pyjamas. Kara was silent throughout the whole thing, and Lena left her to her thoughts as she quickly changed into her own pyjamas and pulled back the bed covers. As gentle as Lena was, Kara winced as her ribs screamed in protest as Lena helped tuck her in.

 

            “Are you okay?” Lena fretted, noticing the spasm of pain flickering across Kara’s face.

 

            “I’m fine,” Kara murmured, looking at Lena as she let her drag the blankets up under her chin.

 

            “I’ll go and get your pills,” Lena told her, gently stroking Kara’s hair as she looked at her for a moment longer. Kara nodded slightly and Lena gave her a small smile before slipping out of the room and going to fetch Kara’s pain medication. Returning a few minutes later, with a glass of water and some pills clutched in her hand. Propping Kara up against her pillows, Lena helped her hold the glass of water as Kara’s hand shook slightly. Downing the pills, Kara settled down on her pillows, and Lena put the glass of water down on the nightstand, before turning the lights off and crawling into bed next to Kara.

 

            It was strange to be in such a big bed next to each other, after so long cramped up on top of the narrow hospital bed, and Lena ached to reach out across the empty space and touch Kara. She didn’t though. She didn’t want to risk Kara pulling away from her, needing some space. Instead, Lena just lay there with her eyes closed, listening to Kara’s even breathing. Lena’s eyes flew open to the dark room as she felt the mattress move beneath her as Kara wriggled across the bed and threw an arm around Lena’s waist. Smiling to herself, Lena moved closer to Kara and let her place her head on Lena’s chest, while her arms wound around Kara’s frail body and held her close.

 

            Kara inhaled a long, shaky breath. “I love you.”

 

            “I love you too,” Lena replied, pressing a kiss to the top of Kara’s head.

 

\---

 

            It was still dark when a muffled scream wrenched Lena out of her sleep. Kara’s hands grasped fistfuls of Lena’s shirt as she screamed into Lena’s chest, and Lena stared down at her in panic. She was frozen for a second, not knowing what to do. Her mom had told her to put some space between her and Kara if she started thrashing around, and try and calmly talk her out of it, but she was pinned beneath Kara. As gently as possible, Lena wriggled out from beneath Kara, who was still wordlessly shouting into the front of Lena’s shirt. Choking back tears, Lena pressed one hand against Kara’s back and slowly flipped them over so that Kara was on her back, her eyes screwed tightly shut as tears leaked out of the corners of them. Lena straddled Kara as she gently gripped her wrists and tried to pry Kara’s hands off her shirt.

 

            “Kara, it’s me. It’s Lena. You’re safe,” Lena murmured, trying to get Kara to let go.

 

            “NO!” Kara yelled, and Lena winced at the loud scream, knowing that it would’ve woken everyone else up. As Lena pried Kara’s hands off her, Kara started violently thrashing around beneath her, kicking her legs and flailing her arms. Lena tried to recapture Kara’s wrists again, as she slowly moved off Kara’s lap and tried to put some distance between the two of them.

 

            “Kara, it’s okay. Shh, you’re not there. You’re home,” Lena softly told her, trying her best to calm her down. “You’re safe. Come back to me.” The fight drained out of Kara for a moment, and she stopped struggling as Lena let go of her wrists, before letting out another yell as she flailed around, catching an unprepared Lena on her cheek. At that moment, Kara’s eyes flew open and she bolted upright, her chest heaving as she breathed heavily. Her eyebrows were knit together as she blinked away her confusion, her eyes focusing on her mom, still stood in the doorway, before her gaze landed on Lena. A look of understanding and horror flickered across Kara’s cheek as she stared at Lena, who had a hand pressed against her cheek as she stared at Kara with concern.

 

            The bedroom door cracked open and Eliza poked her head into the room, debating whether or not to help Lena calm her daughter down. At the shake of her head, Lena let Eliza know that she should go back to bed. She could handle this. Silently, Eliza closed the bedroom door, trusting that Lena would come and get her if she needed help.

 

            “I-I hit you,” Kara choked out, a shaking hand clapping over her mouth as she looked at Lena in horror.

 

            “Sh, you’re okay,” Lena murmured, reaching out for Kara, who scrambled away from her touch.

 

            “I _hit_ you,” Kara cried, and she looked at Lena with wide, tear-filled eyes. Lena gave her a pained look as she let her hand drop to the empty space between the two of them.

 

            “It’s okay,” Lena assured her, as tears made their way down Kara’s cheeks. “I’m _fine_. Th-that wasn’t you. You were dreaming, I’m sorry if I-“

 

            “Don’t,” Kara furiously whispered as she shot Lena a dark look. “Do _not_ apologise. i _hurt_ you, I-“

 

            Lena gave her a pleading look, inching closer, but still leaving enough distance between them to give Kara her space. She didn’t want to push Kara to let Lena hold her, to comfort her, but it pained Lena to see her hurting and pushing Lena away. “Kara, please. It's _okay_. You didn’t hurt me,” Lena told her. “I’m fine. It was just a glancing blow. I’m fine, I-I promise.”

 

            Kara let out a breathless sob, and then she couldn’t stop crying as she opened her arms for Lena to come closer. Quickly, Lena was laying on her back again, with Kara gently cradled against her chest as her tears soaked into Lena's shirt and she mumbled her apologies over and over again into Lena’s chest. Tucking the quilt in around them both, Lena made soothing sounds as she reassuringly rubbed circles into Kara’s back. Eventually the tears stopped, and the sniffles faded into silence as Kara was gently lulled back into sleep by the comfort of Lena’s steady heartbeat and two arms wrapped around her, making her feel at home. Lena spent the next couple of hours quietly whispering to Kara, even after sleep had already taken her, not stopping until the first rays of dawn seeped through a gap in the curtains, and Kara’s eyes fluttered open again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just real quick; this story isn't close to finished yet, but for my next fic do you think a vampire or medieval au would be more interesting? I plan on writing them both but I don't know which one to start first. Your opinion would be very appreciated.


	67. Chapter 67

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your input! I still have some more to write for this, but I'll think about which fic to start next while I finish it off.

            “Good morning,” Lena mumbled as soon as she felt Kara stir. She didn’t get a reply, so Lena just lay there, cradling Kara against her chest while her fingers trailed lazy circles on her back. Lena could stay like this forever if she had to, as long as she had Kara in her arms. It was almost ten minutes before Kara stirred again, trying to push herself upright, but struggling with her broken bones. Lena shifted beneath Kara, wriggling out so that she could sit upright, carefully moving Kara along with her.

 

            “I’ll go and see if your mom is awake so she can help me get you downstairs,” Lena told her, ducking her head to try and meet Kara’s gaze with no success. Closing her eyes and softly sighing, Lena cupped Kara’s cheek and ran a thumb over her cheekbone before getting out of bed. Kara didn’t even look at her the entire time.

 

            Lena quickly walked downstairs, walking into the kitchen to find Eliza, Alex and Maggie making breakfast and drinking coffee. Eliza gave her a sympathetic smile from over near the stove as Lena walked in, and Maggie’s eyebrows shot up as she smirked slightly. “What the hell happened to your face? Did you fall out of bed again?”

 

            “Shut the fuck up, Maggie,” Lena snapped, not in the mood for the other girl’s usual teasing. Maggie’s eyes widened and her smirk vanished at Lena’s harsh tone, and she gave Alex a confused look. Lena had never taken her jokes seriously before.

 

            “Hey!” Eliza warned Lena, furrowing her brow slightly. “None of that, thank you.”

 

            Lena let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing a hand over her weary face. “Sorry Eliza, and sorry to you too, Maggie,” Lena mumbled. “I, uh, I need some help getting her downstairs.”

 

            Alex stood up without a word and followed Lena upstairs. Kara was still sat in the exact same position that Lena had left her in, just staring down at her lap. She didn’t look up as the two girls walked into the room, and she didn’t speak until Alex started talking to her.

 

            “Morning, how did you sleep?” Alex asked, trying to be upbeat – she’d heard the screaming of course. Lena winced at the question, and so did Kara, who didn’t reply. Alex didn’t notice, and kept babbling as she looped one of Kara’s arms around her shoulders as Lena propped her up on the other side. “Okay, well mine was good. It’s always nice coming stay with mom, isn’t it? I was thinking you might like to sit on the back porch and watch the sea today. I know how much you like that. It’s been a while since you’ve seen the sea.”

 

            They helped her downstairs and set her down in the wheelchair waiting for her. Alex gave Lena a reassuring smile, before walking back into the kitchen and leaving Lena to wheel Kara in. “Hey, are you warm enough?” Lena quietly asked her, crouching down in front of Kara as she took her fingers in her hands, mindful of the cast. They were cold, and Lena gently rubbed some warmth into them as she waited for Kara to reply.

 

            “Kara,” Lena murmured, frowning slightly.

 

            “You should go home,” Kara hoarsely whispered, staring down at her hands caught between Lena’s.

 

            “Don’t you want to stay here anymore? I thought we’d stay at least a few weeks,” Lena said, her frown deepening.

 

            “I do,” Kara agreed, “but you should leave.”

 

            Lena let out a quiet sigh, feeling a lump rise in her throat. “Kara, I’m not going to leave you.”

 

            “You sh-should go where I can’t h-hurt you,” Kara said, her voice cracking as she spoke.

 

            “Look at me,” Lena ordered her, bringing one hand up to lift Kara’s chin. She had her eyes closed, and Lena brushed her fingers along the side of Kara’s face. “Look at me, Kara.”

 

            Slowly, those eyes opened and Kara stared into Lena’s. Slowly settling back into her crouch, Lena stared up at Kara, her face full of love, concern and sympathy. Kara’s eyes landed on the shadow of a bruise on Lena’s cheek, and she let out a sob, clapping one hand over her mouth.

 

            “It’s okay,” Lena whispered, reaching out to cradle Kara’s face between her hands as she gave her a small smile.

 

            “No,” Kara choked out, trying to turn her head so she could look away. “I did this to you. _I_  did.”

 

            Lena made soothing hushing sounds as she tried to calm Kara down. “It’s fine, it doesn’t even hurt. See?” She poked herself on the cheek, making sure that she didn’t wince as she pressed a finger to the tender bruise. “Honestly, Kara, you’ve seen me beaten to a pulp after brawling with men twice my size. This is nothing. You were dreaming. You were asleep.”

 

            “But _I_ did this to you. Not some drunken asshole,” Kara furiously whispered, her eyes full of tears and hatred, and Lena hated the fact that she knew that Kara’s hatred was for herself. As tears spilled over, Lena reached out to brush them away.

 

            “You did, but you didn’t mean to,” Lena calmly told her. “You tickled me once and I fell and split my head open on your dresser. Did you mean for that to happen? No. And you didn’t mean for this to happen. It’s okay if you accidentally hurt me, I’m not going to run away because you had a bad dream and couldn’t control your arms. What I’m not okay with is you trying to push me away with your words. That hurts more than a silly bruise. Let me help you, please.”

 

            Kara was silent for a moment, and then she nodded, and the hatred was replaced with sadness and Lena wished that she wasn’t stuck in a wheelchair so that she could properly cradle Kara. “I love you,” Kara mumbled into Lena’s shoulder as she let herself be held, and Lena pressed a kiss to Kara’s hair.

 

            “I love you too,” Lena told her, smiling slightly. She pulled back, wiping a few more tears off Kara’s face and brushing a few stray hairs back into place. Leaning in, she pressed a soft kiss on the tip of Kara’s nose, eliciting a small smile. “Now, let’s get you some breakfast. How about pancakes? I’m getting really good at them now.”

 

\---

 

            After breakfast, Alex and Maggie took Kara upstairs as Lena finished her breakfast, and Lena promised that she’d be up in a moment to help Kara bathe. She let out a small sigh as she picked up her plain toast and took a bite. Out of the corner of her eye, Lena was aware of Eliza watching her for a moment before she moved around the kitchen. As Lena drained her tea, Eliza walked over and crouched down next to her.

 

            “How’re you doing, sweetheart?” Eliza gently asked her, her fingers gently probing the bruise of Lena’s cheek, while Lena grit her teeth as her face spasmed with pain. “She got you good, huh?”

 

            “I’m fine,” Lena said, brushing away Eliza’s concerns. An icepack was pressed against her cheek, and Lena brought her hand up to replace Eliza’s as she held it in place. It was numbing, and Lena hoped it would take some of the discolouration away.

 

            “Of course you are – physically – but it’s hard seeing her like this,” Eliza said, giving Lena’s other cheek an affectionate squeeze as she smiled slightly.

 

            “It was harder thinking she was dead,” Lena shrugged. “Nothing will ever be harder than that. I just-, I don’t know how to help her. She needs professional help, but she’s still adjusting, so in the mean time I’m just … I don’t know what I can do.”

 

            “Then do nothing. Do nothing except sit next to her and keep her company,” Eliza suggested. “She’ll tell you what she wants to do. She’s going to be uninterested and irritable for a while, and yes, she might be a bit depressed, but she’ll tell you if she wants to watch a movie, or wants some coffee. Let her reach out to you.”

 

            “But I’m scared that if I leave it up to her then she’ll pull away, and I won’t ever get her back,” Lena whispered, her voice shaking slightly as she tried not to cry.

 

            “I know,” Eliza said, giving Lena a sad smile. “I’ve seen people with PTSD before, it’s not nice and it’s not easy. She just needs to know that _you’re_ here for _her_ while she figures things out in her head. She can’t do this without the people she loves, even if she tries to pull away.”

 

            Lena nodded, taking a deep breath to steady herself. “Right. Thanks, Eliza.”

 

            “Make sure you look after yourself too, honey. You haven’t been sleeping again. There’s four of us here, you don’t have to look after her all the time, we’re all here,” Eliza said, standing up and bending down to press a kiss to the top of Lena’s head.

 

            Lena finished her toast and carried her dirty dishes to the sink. Putting the icepack back in the freezer, Lena walked upstairs. The bath that Maggie was running was ready, and Lena walked in to Kara’s room to find her sat on the edge of the bed, talking to Alex. Pausing in the doorway, Lena smiled at the sight of the two of them – she was talking, and that was something at least.

 

            “Are you ready?” Lena asked, when the two girls looked up at her. Kara gave her a small smile and nodded, while Alex stood up and helped prop Kara up. Together, the three of them walked into the bathroom, depositing Kara on the toilet seat for the time being.

 

            Maggie turned the taps off, and gave Kara a smile. “There we go. One nice, hot bubble bath. Ready to go.”

 

            Kara snorted quietly, rolling her eyes as she smiled. “Thanks.”

 

            Alex and Maggie smiled and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Lena to take care of the rest. Carefully stripping off Kara’s shirt and pants, Lena dumped them in the laundry basket. “Just wait here a second, I’ll go and get some clothes for you for afterwards.”

 

            She was only gone for a couple of minutes, but when she walked back into the bathroom, Kara was propped up against the sink, holding a pair of scissors in one hand and a large chunk of hair in the other. Lena let out a small sound of surprise, shutting the door behind her and dropping the pile of clothes on the floor. She gently took the scissors out of Kara’s hand, and uncurled the hand holding the lock of hair, letting it fall into the sink.

 

            Lena cleared her throat as she pulled Kara’s hair back. “H-how short do you want it?”

 

            “As short as I just cut it,” Kara murmured. Lena nodded, picking up a brush and gently running it through Kara’s hair, before she took the scissors and cut Kara’s hair as evenly as she could. By the time she was finished, Kara’s blonde locks barely brushed her shoulders, and Lena quickly ran her fingers through it checking to make sure it was all the same length. Then Lena helped Kara into the bath, careful to keep the leg and arm encased in a cast out of the water. Lena quickly washed Kara’s newly cut hair and gently scrubbed her clean.

 

            Leaving Kara to relax in the hot water, Lena quickly jumped in the shower, taking a quick shower before getting out and helping Kara out of the bath. Wrapped in her own towel, Lena dressed Kara and then dried her hair, smiling as she looked at the soft waves of the short hair.

 

            “What?” Kara asked, raising her eyebrows as she caught Lena’s smile.

 

            “I like it,” Lena told her, and a smile graced Kara’s lips. She reached out with her good hand and knotted it in Lena’s hair, pulling her face closer so that she could kiss her. Smiling, Lena pushed back against Kara’s lips as she brought her hands up to cup Kara’s face. Pulling back and resting her forehead against Lena’s, Kara let out a breathless laugh.

 

            “I’ve missed you.”

 

\---

 

            After cleaning up the mess in the bathroom, Lena helped Kara back to her bedroom and got dressed, before trying to help guide Kara downstairs. It was hard with her having so many broken bones, which was why two of them usually did it, but she managed it alone and helped Kara into the wheelchair. Grabbing a blanket from the living room, Lena draped it over Kara’s legs and tucked it in around her, before wheeling her through the kitchen.

 

            “Oh! Your hair!” Eliza exclaimed as her eyes fell on the two girls as they came into the room.

 

            “It looks good,” Alex smiled encouragingly at her sister, and Eliza and Maggie agreed after they got over the initial shock. Kara had never had short hair before, and it was a shock to see half of it chopped off, but they all knew she had done it as a coping mechanism. She wasn’t the same person anymore – she shouldn’t look like the same person she’d been.

 

            “Um, we’re going to go and sit out the back for a little bit,” Lena said, pushing Kara towards the back door. Alex stood up and opened the door for her, and Lena thanked her as she wheeled Kara outside and positioned her so that she was looking out at the sea. Making sure that Kara was comfortable, Lena tucked one edge of the blanket in before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of Kara’s head. “I’ll be back in a second.”

 

            Slipping back into the house, Lena asked everyone if they wanted some tea before setting some water on to boil, before darting upstairs and coming back down with the photo album. Filling the five cups up with tea and milk, Lena handed the cups off to the three women, before pinning the photo album beneath one arm and carefully holding a cup of tea in each hand. After handing one tea over to Kara, Lena dragged one of the chairs over to the wheelchair and sat down next to her. Kara untucked and unfolded the blanket and draped it over the two of them, and Lena smiled as she leant in to press a kiss on Kara’s cheek.

 

            “What’ve you got there?” Kara asked after a few minutes of silence as they watched the waves crash on the shore. Lena smiled as she placed the photo album in her lap, running her fingers over the front cover.

 

            “My mom packed it in the bag when she brought it to the hospital. She thought you might like to look at them, but I, uh, didn’t think it was the right time,” Lena explained.

 

            “Oh,” Kara mumbled. “I’d like to look at them now.”

 

            Lena smiled as she put the photo album in Kara’s lap. “I thought you might.”

 

            Kara fumbled with the cover, flipping it open to the first photo of Lena and traced her fingers over the photo. Every time Lena opened the photo album and stared at the photo, she smiled, thinking back to the very beginning of their relationship. It seemed so far away now. So much had happened.

 

            “Did you know?” Kara asked, turning to look at Lena. “That day. Did you know what would happen between us? That we’d fall in love?”

 

            Lena blinked in surprise. “Did I know? No. But I thought … there was a part of me that thought that I could. You walked up to my table and I was so annoyed at being disturbed, until I saw your face, well, your _eyes_. They were so wide with hope and kindness, and I knew that I could love those eyes and so I let you sit down. And I stayed for hours, way longer than I’d intended, and by the time we both left, I knew I was right.”

 

            “There was a table in the back corner,” Kara told her. “I sat down with my book, and the woman behind me with her two children finished ordering and looked around for a table. I’d already noticed you by then, and I thought you were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen – I hardly believed you were real. I got up from my table, and I let the woman take it so she could sit down with her kids, and then I built up the courage to walk over to your table.”

 

            “I’m glad you did,” Lena smiled. “Sometimes I think about how we might’ve missed each other that day. I’m glad to know it wasn’t fate, but your bravery. If there’s one thing in my life that I’ve ever gotten right, it was saying yes to you, for everything. Yes, you could sit at my table. That yes, I love you. And yes, I’ll marry you. You’re the _one_ thing that I ever got right.”

 

            Kara picked up Lena’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, before flipping to the next page. They flipped through pages and pages of photos, commenting on them and telling each other the thoughts running through their head at the time the photo was taken. Kara even laughed sometimes, and Lena’s heart fluttered every time she heard the sound, feeling warm and happy inside. They would be okay.

 

            As Kara flipped to the last two pages in the photo album, and she smiled as she stared at the second last photo. There was the empty polaroid with the date beneath it, and next to it was a digitally printed photo from the camera that Kara had set up on a timer. “Did you really not know I was going to propose?” Kara asked, looking up at Lena with a faint smile playing at the corner of her lips.

 

            “Of course I didn’t! Why would I have?” Lena asked, laughing quietly.

 

            “Because I told you I loved you, more than anything, and that I wanted to do everything with you,” Kara told her, her eyes crinkling at the corners.

 

            “I thought I’d be the one to do it. When you came home perhaps, or when we went to Paris or Venice, or somewhere nice. Something big and grand and ridiculously romantic so that you would know how much I loved you and that I was certain, so _certain_ , that I wanted to marry you,” Lena softly told her.

 

            “I should’ve let you do it,” Kara laughed. “That sounds a lot better than mine.”

 

            “No, I’m glad I didn’t,” Lena murmured. “I think mine would’ve been more to reassure myself than you – not to reassure myself that I was making the right decision, but to reassure myself that _you_ knew that I was making the right decision. I know you used to doubt that I was ready for a proper relationship, but then you proposed and that was when I truly knew that you trusted my love for you enough to know that I would say yes. That I would want to spend the rest of my life with you. It was better than I ever could’ve imagined. It was perfect.”

 

            “I had to let you know before I went back,” Kara whispered, frowning down at the photo. “If I-I didn’t-, I wanted you to know that I-I wanted to marry you, in case I didn’t-“

 

            “I know,” Lena murmured. “Thank you. I’m glad that you did. But I’m even more glad that you came home, so that we _can_ actually get married.”

 

            “What do you have planned for it?” Kara asked, looking up at Lena with an expectant look on her face.

 

            “What do you mean?” Lena hesitantly asked.

 

            Kara laughed, raising one eyebrow at Lena. “Oh come on. I know you. You probably have an organized binder of whatever wedding planning you’ve already done.”

 

            Lena blushed slightly, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “Did Maggie tell you? I swear to god, I’m uninviting her if-“

 

            “She didn’t,” Kara laughed. “I just know that you would’ve done some planning at least. So, tell me. What do you have in mind?”

 

            “I already told you most things,” Lena said. “It’s just full of churches and venues in different cities, chefs, dress options, florists and centre pieces. Just, you know, options for things. I obviously haven’t made any decisions, but I thought I’d get some things ready for when you get home, so we could talk about what kind of style we want, where we want it, when we want it. All of that stuff.”

 

            “I can’t wait to see it all,” Kara smiled, giving Lena a loving look. Lena smiled back, feeling relieved that Kara was still fully on board with the wedding. She knew that she was, of course, Kara had said that it had been one of the thoughts keeping her going when she was lost over there, but Lena had been doubtful that it was something Kara would want to talk about so soon. She’d been planning on waiting a few months before broaching the subject – what mattered most to Lena now was Kara getting settled in and adjusting and healing. If she wanted to talk about the wedding though, Lena wasn’t going to take that away from her.

 

            “Oh, right,” Kara mumbled, reaching into one of her pockets. “This is for the album too.” She held out a creased and worn polaroid towards Lena, who took it as she frowned slightly. It was a picture of her, and Lena looked at it for a moment, before reaching for the photo album and putting it at the back of the album, slipping the polaroid into the little paper corners. “I looked at that photo every day. Some days it was the only thing keeping me going – especially at the end. I-I was in a cave, I thought we-, well, I didn’t think I would see you again. I just stared at the photo, waiting for it to be over. I wanted your face to be the last-. Sorry, I-I don’t think I want to talk about this anymore.”

 

            “You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to,” Lena reassured her, and Kara gave her a sad smile.

 

\---

 

            Kara was a bit more subdued for the rest of the day, laying on the sofa and staring blankly at the TV again, uninterested in the show they were all watching. She spoke a few times, mostly to Alex, but other than that she was mostly silent, lost in her own thoughts just like yesterday. The moments they’d had together today made Lena hope that things would get better though, no matter how long it took. It had only been a week, and she knew that Kara wouldn’t heal overnight, but the fact that she’d actually seemed interested in the wedding and the photo album made Lena feel a little better.

 

            As soon as it was an acceptable time to go to bed, Kara asked Lena to take her upstairs. After saying goodnight to everyone, they both went to bed, and this time Kara curled up on her side and let Lena cuddle her from behind. Lena was wide awake, listening the even breaths of Kara as she made sure that she wasn’t having any nightmares, and Kara was wide awake too, too scared to close her eyes in case she hit Lena again. It took hours for sleep to come, and when it did it brought nightmares with it for them both.


	68. Chapter 68

            Their first week at Eliza’s passed by quickly, and then the second. Kara was slowly adjusting to being home, and being with Lena all day every day, and her bones were slowly mending as she spent all day resting. Under normal circumstances, Kara would’ve been ecstatic and her usual bubbly self, but her return brought problems with it, and every night she woke screaming from a nightmare of a memory. Lena would quickly scramble away from Kara, more for concern about what it would do to Kara if she accidentally hit Lena again, rather than for her own safety. She would talk to her until she calmed down, and then Lena would hold Kara as she cried herself back to sleep, quietly whispering nonsense to her until the sun came up. It was taking its toll on Lena, and she got little sleep over those two weeks, but she didn’t care – she had to look after Kara.

 

            At the end of those two weeks, Alex and Maggie had to go back to work in National City, and Eliza went back to work too. Lena and Eliza planned to keep Kara in Midvale for another week, just to give her a bit more time to recooperate in the countryside, and so they said goodbye to Alex and Maggie that morning. The house was quiet with just the two of them there, and they both found themselves on the front porch, watching Athena run around with a stick in her mouth as they drank their tea in the early morning sun.

 

            “What do you want to do today?” Lena asked Kara. “We could go out somewhere. To the diner maybe. Or we could go to the bookshop – I’ve been meaning to buy some new reading material.”

 

            “I don’t care,” Kara mumbled, shrugging indifferently. She brushed her short hair out of her face as she squinted at the bright sunlight. It was starting to get warm, and the flowers were beginning to bloom. Lena was hoping that Kara would be well enough to go for a hike soon – she wanted to go back to that meadow and see it filled with Kara’s laughter and the beautiful flowers, just like the first time Kara had taken her there.

 

            “Well, what do you feel like doing?” Lena asked, brushing Kara’s short hair out of her face. “Whatever you want to do, we’ll do it.”

 

            “I don’t want to do anything,” Kara snapped, trying to scratch beneath the cast on her arm as she watched the dog playfully run around the garden. She sighed in frustration, unable to reach the itch, and crossed her arms over her chest as she frowned.

 

            “Fine,” Lena said after a moment, knowing better than to try and force her to do something she didn’t want to. Taking Eliza’s advice, Lena just sat on the porch swing, silently staring at Kara, waiting for her to decide what she wanted to do. She knew Kara didn’t mean to snap – it was just a symptom of her PTSD – but Lena felt useless. As soon as they got back to National City, Lena was going to find a therapist to help Kara, and she was hoping that Kara wouldn’t put up too much of a fight, because Lena couldn’t do this alone.

 

            Lena’s thoughts were interrupted by the buzzing of her phone in her pocket. She pulled it out and stared down at her mom’s name on the screen. Lillian had phoned a few times a week, just to see how everything was going and to make sure Lena was handling it okay, and Lena was grateful for the opportunity to talk to someone who wasn’t personally involved in Kara’s life. She knew that she could talk to Alex, Eliza or Maggie, but Lena didn’t want to make it harder for them too, so she kept most of her thoughts to herself.

 

            “It’s my mom,” Lena told Kara, who had shot her a questioning look. “I won’t be long.”

 

            Standing up, Lena placed a kiss on the top of Kara’s head and walked down the front porch steps as she answered the call. “Hi mom,” Lena said, pressing the phone to her ear.

 

 _“Hi, how are you?”_ Lillian asked.

 

            “Good,” Lena assured her, wandering further into the garden.

 

_“And Kara?”_

 

            Lena let out a small sigh. “She’s … the same. Sometimes she laughs and asks if we can do something, and other times it’s like she’s not even inside her body.”

 

 _“It’ll get easier,”_ Lillian told her. _“Things will get better with time.”_

            “I know, but I want it better now,” Lena told her, her tone slightly bitter as she whined. She shouldn’t complain – there were thirteen people who would never see their family again, and she was lucky enough to have Kara back – but Lena just wanted Kara’s suffering to end.

 

_“I know you do. Of course you do. You just have to remember that it might take her years to get over this, Lena. You don’t know what it is she’s been through, but you need to make sure you’re ready to deal with this.”_

            “I am. Of course I am. I couldn’t leave her even if I wanted to,” Lena told her mom. “Sometimes I think I need her more than she needs me.” As Lillian started to reply, there was a loud bang as a car backfired, and Lena glared in the direction of the sound as she pressed the phone closer to her ear, trying to hear what her mom was saying. She was distracted again, this time by a loud shout.

 

            “NO!”

 

            Lena whirled around at the sound of Kara’s yell, seeing her sat frozen in her wheelchair, her face white with shock and her eyes wide. Lillian was still talking when Lena dropped her phone to the ground and sprinted back to the house, almost tripping up the steps in her hurry to get to Kara. She fell to her knees in front of the wheelchair, her hands fluttering nervously around Kara as she debated whether or not to touch her – it might make things worse. Lena was dimly aware of Athena brushing up against her as she came to see what the fuss was about, wondering if it was a new game.

 

            “Kara,” Lena said, her voice full of panic as she took in the glazed and unfocused look in Kara’s eyes. She wasn’t here, in this moment, she was somewhere else, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out where her mind was. It was the car, Lena realized. The car backfiring with a sound almost similar to a gunshot – it had triggered a flashback. Kara didn’t seem to be aware that she wasn’t actually there, and she stared blankly ahead with horror and pain etched in every line of her face.

 

            “Get yourself clear!” Kara shouted, and Lena wondered who she was picturing. Kara winced, shaking her head as her mouth opened and closed. She didn’t want to see this; she didn’t want to watch them all die. They couldn’t die – she had to save them. “That’s an order soldier!”

 

            “Kara, you’re okay, you’re not there,” Lena told her, trying to keep her voice calm as she begged her to come back. “You’re at home. It’s Lena. Can you hear that? It’s the sound of the sea – you can smell it too. And look, feel. Can you feel that? It’s Athena, our dog. She wasn’t there with you, and you’re not there either. Neither was I. You’re home, with me, and your mom and Alex. We’re all back together again. Can you hear me? Come back to me, please.”

 

            Kara’s chest was heaving as she breathed heavily, her eyes full of panic. Lena murmured to her softly, watching and waiting until finally Kara’s eyes seemed to focus on her, and some of the panic faded away. She let out a breathless sob, clapping a hand to her mouth, and Lena hesitantly placed a hand on Kara’s knee.

 

            “Oh god,” Kara sobbed, ducking her head down. “I-I thought-“

 

            “Sh, you’re safe,” Lena whispered.

 

            “It’s like I was _there_ ,” Kara, “I was-“ and then she was breathing rapidly and clutching a hand to her chest as she stared at Lena with wide eyes. She was shaking. and a sheen of sweat covered her brow as she dragged a lungful of air in between trembling lips. Realising she was having a panic attack, Lena tried not to panic so that she didn’t make it worse.

 

            “Okay, Kara, I need you to take a deep breath for me and count to ten while you do it. Can you do that for me?” Lena asked, her voice trembling slightly. “Breathe with me, okay?” Lena started to inhale, before counting aloud as she tried to get Kara to breathe along with her. Reaching out, she took Kara’s good hand in her own, pulling it away from Kara’s rapid heartbeat and placing it against her own steady one.

 

            “You’re not actually there, it’s just a memory. This place is safe, _you’re_ safe. Can you lift your arms above your head for me?” Lena asked her, picking up the hand against her chest, as well as the one in the cast, and gently helping guide them above Kara’s head and back down again. “Good. You try it this time. Just keep breathing. In and out. Copy me, okay? One, two, three.”

 

            Kara slowly started bringing her arms above her head, and then back down while she breathed along with Lena’s counting. It took a few minutes of doing this before the panic attack started to subside, but soon her breathing slowed and she stopped shaking. Lena brushed Kara’s hair back from her sweaty brow and looked up at her with concern. “I-I felt like I was choking, like I was going to be sick” Kara whispered, her voice hoarse from her ragged breathing. “Like I was going to d-”

 

            “You were having a panic attack,” Lena gently told her. “The car …”

 

            “The car,” Kara murmured in agreement, closing her eyes as she took another deep, shuddering breath. “Can we go inside, please?”

 

            “Of course,” Lena said, pressing a kiss to the back of Kara’s hand before standing up and wheeling her into the living room. Running back outside for a moment, Lena whistled for Athena to go in as she went to pick up her abandoned phone. To her surprise, her mom hadn’t hung up, and Lena knew she was waiting to find out what had happened.

 

            “Hello?” Lena said breathlessly, putting the phone to her ear as she rushed back to the house, hovering in the hallway where she could talk to her mom in private but still keep an eye on Kara.

 

 _“What happened? Is everything okay?”_ Her mom sounded concerned, and Lena took a deep breath as she ran her fingers through her hair.

 

            “She had a panic attack,” Lena explained. “A car backfired.”

 

 _“I heard it,”_ Lillian said. _“Is she okay? Is this the first time?”_

            Lena felt close to tears as she listened to her mom talk. “Yeah, it is. I-I don’t know what I should do. Should I call Eliza? She’s okay now, but ...”

 

_“If it’s passed then don’t tell Eliza until she gets home – she’s not going to want people making a fuss over her, including you. Eliza knows this, so just let her know when she gets home from work. Just keep her mind occupied, give her some food, make her take some more deep breaths. Try and keep her grounded.”_

            “Okay,” Lena said, nodding slightly as she took in her mom’s advice. “Thanks mom.”

 

 _“Look after yourself too, please,”_ Lillian told her, and Lena sighed quietly. _“I love you.”_

 

            “Yeah, I love you too,” Lena mumbled, before saying goodbye and hanging up. Walking into the living room, Lena crouched down in front of Kara, who wouldn’t meet her eyes, and looked up at her face. “Hey, so I’m just going to go and get some stuff from upstairs and then I’ll be right back down, okay?”

 

            When Kara didn’t reply, Lena stood up and went upstairs to fetch some pillows and blankets, and dragged the whole lot downstairs. Kara watched with milk interest as Lena moved the coffee table out of the way and spread the collection of blankets and pillows on the living room floor. She walked out of the room again, going to the kitchen this time, and Kara listened as Lena chatted about nonsense, trying to take her mind off the panic attack. Returning ten minutes later, Lena brought in two cups of tea and handed one to Kara. “Does that feel hot enough to you?”

 

            Focusing on the warmth of the cup, Kara shot Lena a confused look. “Yes? It’s fine.”

 

            “Okay, good,” Lena smiled at her, before walking back into the kitchen. She came back out with with an assortment of snacks spread out on two platters, and placed them both on the floor.

 

            “What’re you doing?” Kara asked when Lena took the cup of tea off her and set it down. She moved Kara’s feet off the footrests and then grabbed Kara under the arms, lifting her into a standing position.

 

            “We’re having a picnic,” Lena told her. “We can’t get very far outside in a wheelchair – I imagine the wheels would get caught in the long grass in our field – so we’re having one inside.” Kara let Lena gently lower her to the floor, propping her up against some pillows and covering her with a blanket. The cup of tea was placed back in her hand, before Lena settled down next to Kara and switched on the TV.

 

            “Do you like the tea? It’s lavender. I think it’s Maggie’s,” Lena said, and Kara took a sip, shrugging indifferently before taking another sip.

 

            “It’s fine,” Kara murmured. She watched as Lena flicked through the movies on the kids channel and settled on the first Disney one she could find. The Little Mermaid. “I thought you didn’t like this one because they made Ursula look like a villain, even though she fulfilled her end of the contract.”

 

            “The octopus lady?” Lena double checked, giving Kara a lopsided smile. “Well yeah, I’m right, but you like it so I guess I’ll suffer. I thought we could watch one of your favoruite films.”

 

            “Mulan is my favourite,” Kara reminded her, taking another sip of tea.

 

            Lena inhaled deeply, and then forced herself to breathe out slowly instead of letting out a sigh. “I know Mulan is your favourite, but it didn’t … seem appropriate. Besides, you love mermaids and it has good songs.”

 

            “Okay,” Kara mumbled, watching as the film started. Lena picked up one of the platters and placed it on her lap. She picked something up and nudged Kara, who was staring intently at the screen.

 

            “Here, try this,” Lena murmured, and Kara obligingly opened her mouth as Lena popped whatever it was into her mouth. She chewed it as Lena watched her, and her eyebrows not together in a mixture of confusion and disgust.

 

            “What the hell is this?” Kara asked, forcing herself to swallow.

 

            “Pickled onions,” Lena explained. “I found them in the fridge.”

 

            Kara sighed, giving Lena an exasperated look. “Okay, what are you doing?”

 

            “What do you mean what am I doing?” Lena innocently asked.

 

            “Lavender tea. Pickled onions. The Little Mermaid,” Kara listed. “What are you doing?”

 

            Lena sighed, looking slightly sheepish. “I’m trying to keeo you grounded.”

 

            “What?” Kara asked, her forehead wrinkling in confusion.

 

            “Um, well my mom said that after a panic attack you need to, uh, keep your mind off things. Give you some food, keep you breathing, and well, keep you grounded. So like focusing on the senses. You can, um, see that you’re in your living room, watching a movie. You can hear me talking, feel the hot tea, taste the strong flavor of the, um, pickled onions. So you know that you’re here. Not there.”

 

            Kara was silent for a few moments. “Oh.”

 

            “Sorry, I just-, I’m trying to distract you, I guess,” Lena said, shrugging apologetically.

 

            They were silent for a few minutes as they watched the the film, or rather, Kara watched the film and Lena watched Kara. She was staring at the screen intently, a faint smile playing at the corners of her lips and her eyes seemed to soften as she watched what was happening. It didn’t look like she was about to have another panic attack soon, but Lena was worried about what would happen if she started to dwell on what she’d been seeing during her flashback – worried that she would feel unsafe here.

 

            Kara turned to look at her a few moments later, catching Lena watching her. She leant in and pressed a rough kiss to Lena’s lips. “You’re distracting enough, by the way.”

 

\---

 

            The rest of the day was spent on the floor in front of the TV, eating and talking and watching movie after movie – but only after Lena slyly checked to make sure there would be nothing to do with fighting or explosions. Eliza came home late, with pizza and cheesecake, and she joined them on the living room floor, and Lena was happy to see that Kara almost seemed like her old self again. She laughed and smiled, and sang along to all the Disney songs, which made Lena laugh and her eyes light up with joy – even if she pretended she hated it.

 

            When it was time for bed, they took Kara upstairs, and Lena got her changed and tucked into bed, before telling her she was going to go and tidy everything up before coming to bed. Leaving the light on and the door open, Lena made her way back down to the living room, where Eliza was already clearing away the empty platters and pizza boxes.

 

            “Hi, darling,” Eliza said as Lena walked in and picked up the empty cups. “How was everything today.”

 

            “She, uh, had a panic attack. A car backfired and she was having another flashback, and then …” Lena confessed. “I was on the phone to my mom at the time – she said not to tell you because it’d just make you want to fuss over her. Sorry if that was the wrong move, but I didn’t know what else to do.”

 

            “No, that’s fine, sweetie. I would’ve been worried sick all day, and yes, probably fussed over her even though I know not to. Mother’s instinct and all that,” Eliza smiled slightly. “She got through it though? She seems okay. Were _you_ okay?”

 

            “I tried. I made her breathe and move her arms. Tried to bring her out of the flashback by talking to her. That seemed to work fine until the panic attack. That’s what the, uh, picnic and movie marathon was for. My mom told me to keep her mind occupied, and keep her grounded,” Lena explained.

 

            “Smart woman, your mother,” Eliza smiled, cupping Lena’s cheek. “But are _you_ okay?”

 

            “I’m fine,” Lena said, waving away Eliza’s concerns, even as she felt a lump rise in her throat. “It was … scary, but obviously I was just worried for her. I-I wasn’t sure what to do for a second. I thought … well, she was gone for a moment.”

 

            “It’s okay,” Eliza said, pulling Lena into a tight hug and holding her as she stroked her hair. “She’s going to be okay. _You’re_ going to be okay.”

 

            “I know,” Lena choked out. “I just feel so helpless.”

 

            “You’re not helpless,” Eliza told her. “None of us are. She just needs _us_. Just by being here we’re helping her. And you – you’re being so strong, and so brave for her. I think it would be a lot worse if you didn’t love each other so much – because this kind of thing … well it can ruin people, but the two of you wouldn’t be able to leave each other even if you tried. Maybe that’s not such a good thing, but at least you know you’ll come out of this together.”

 

            “I know,” Lena whispered miserably. It had been three weeks since Kara had been home, and she’d made minimal progress. Of course a therapist would help that, but Lena wished that she didn’t _have_ to see a therapist to get better. She wished that she was enough to help Kara feel safe. Feel like she was home.

 

            “Go on, go to bed, honey,” Eliza said, pulling back and kissing Lena on the forehead. “You look like you might pass out where you stand. I’ll finish tidying up.”

 

            “Thank you, Eliza,” Lena said. “Goodnight.”

 

            Walking back upstairs, Lena walked into Kara’s room, smiling as two blue eyes turned to look at her. She quickly changed into some pyjamas and flipped the lights off before crawling into bed next to Kara. Tonight, she just wanted to hold Kara, to know that she was safe and to let her know that Lena would never let anything hurt her.

 

            “Come here,” Lena whispered, laying on her back and pulling Kara closer. Resting her head on Lena’s chest, Kara let out a quiet sigh.

 

            “I shouldn’t,” she whispered after a few moments, and Lena frowned. “If y-you get stuck under me again, I-I might hit you.”

 

            “Sh,” Lena murmured. “You won’t. Just sleep, okay? I’m right here. Nothing bad will happen. I've got you.”

 

            “I love you,” Kara told her, and Lena smiled as she felt her shift, pulling herself up and cupping Lena’s face so that she could find her lips. They were warm against Lena’s, and Kara pressed her lips to Lena’s over and over again, smiling slightly as she did.

 

            “I love you too.”


	69. Chapter 69

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exam study is shit and I'm suffering.

            Kara had been home a month, and yet every day Lena still felt like it didn’t feel real. In the middle of the night she’d wake up from a nightmare where Kara wasn’t there, only to look down and find her asleep on Lena’s chest, or curled up next to her, and only then would she be able to fall back asleep until Kara woke her up with her screaming. Some mornings, if Eliza was home, she’d come in and send Lena into her room to get some sleep, and she’d stay with Kara so that she could hold her little girl. Lena was grateful for those moments that she could steal some sleep – she was running on very little sleep and it was catching up with her.

 

            They were going home today. Lena had suggested that they stay a little while longer, because Kara seemed at ease here – for the most part – and Lena thought that the loud noises and busy crowds of the city might be too much for her. Kara had protested though, insisting that everything get back to normal, and so Lena relented and they stuck to their original plan. Their train wasn’t until after lunch, and so they lounged around the house all morning, eating a nice breakfast with Eliza until she got called into the hospital. They were sat on the back porch, watching the Athena run through the shallow waves, and a small smile played around Kara’s lips as she watched. Lena thought back to when she’d adopted Athena to help combat her loneliness, but it looked like she wasn’t the only one benefiting from that decision.

 

            “Hey,” Kara said, turning to look at Lena. Shaking herself out of her thoughts, Lena smiled at Kara, raising her eyebrows expectantly. “I need you to take me somewhere.”

 

            “Oh!” Lena softly exclaimed. Kara hadn’t set foot off the porch since she’d come to Midvale, and Lena was surprised that she was showing some interest in going somewhere. “Of course. Anywhere.”

 

            Kara let out a small laugh. “I promise you, you won’t want to take me there. I-I want to see it. My grave.”

 

            “Your gr-, Kara, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Lena protested, grimacing at Kara.

 

            “I told you,” Kara said, looking amused. “I think it’ll be … good. For both of us. It might help put this whole, ah, _thing_ behind us. If we go together then we can have some closure. I don’t know, I just … I need to do this, Lena.”

 

            “You _need_ to?” Lena asked, arching one eyebrow.

 

            “Yes, I _need_ to,” Kara said, smiling slightly.

 

            Lena smiled back at her, cupping her chin and leaning in to press a quick kiss to Kara’s lips. “I’ll go and get your shoes.”

 

            Kara insisted on them walking there, or at rather Lena walked while she got pushed in the wheelchair and held onto the leash as Athena padded along beside her. The weather was warming up, with summer not too far away, and the two of them soaked up the sun as they made their way towards the cemetery. Kara had her camera in hadn, Lena having returned it to its rightful owner, and she snapped photos along the way. A part of Lena was relieved that she could still find the beauty in the things around her, despite the horrors of war that she’d witnessed first hand. She was still Lena’s Kara.

 

            They took a detour on the way, to buy flowers for Jeremiah’s grave, but it still didn’t take long, and soon enough they could see the beginning of the headstones and the church standing tall in the middle of them. They were silent as they walked through the eeiry quiet of the cemetery, and Lena pushed Kara towards where they’d had the funeral. The memories of that day seemed like a distant dream – or a nightmare even – and Lena hadn’t been back here since. Perhaps Kara was right, and it would give them both some closure, even if it was only the beginning of Kara’s healing.

 

            “Oh,” Kara murmured as they came to a stop in front of the headstone. Grass had started to grow over the mound of earth since the funeral, and the flowers, which would now be dead, had been thrown away with none to take their place because Kara was alive now.

 

            “Are you okay?” Lena whispered, resting a hand on Kara’s shoulder. Kara covered it with her own as she stared at her name engraved in the stone.

 

            “No. I don’t know,” Kara said. “I feel … strange. Not many people get to see their own grave.”

 

            “No. No, they don’t,” Lena agreed. Kara raised her camera and snapped a photo of her grave, and Lena frowned slightly, but didn’t say anything. If she needed to take a photo, then she would let her take a photo.

 

            They stood there in silence for a few minutes, and then Lena lay the flowers on Jeremiah’s grave. “I think … I’d like to leave now,” Kara said slowly, and Lena quickly turned her around and wheeled them away.

 

            Kara was silent as they left the cemetery and started walking towards home. She didn’t take any photos as they walked, and Lena was starting to regret bringing her. Maybe it had been too soon. As they passed the bottom of the main street, Lena thought quickly. “Hey, how about some pie?”

 

            “Pie?” Kara asked, turning to look at Lena over her shoulder. She smiled slightly. “You know I’m always in the mood for pie.”

 

            “Good,” Lena smiled, leaning down to kiss the top of Kara’s head. Angling them towards main street, they crossed the road and started heading towards the diner. It didn’t take long for them to walk to the other end of the street, and Lena wheeled Kara up to one of the tables outside the diner. “I’ll be back in a second.”

 

            She ordered for them both, and quickly rejoined Kara outside. Watching her in silence, Lena took in the slight crease between Kara’s eyebrows as she stared off into the distance. Wondering if she was lost in her memories or focusing on something else, Lena reached out and gently rested her hand on top of Kara’s. Tangling their fingers together, Kara didn’t look at Lena, she just stared off into the distance, and the only acknowledgement she gave to Lena’s presence was a gentle squeeze of her hand. After the panic attack, Lena had tried to give Kara some space, but sometimes it hurt her to watch Kara ignore her, but she never complained. Not once. It was nothing more than what she expected so soon after her returning.

 

            The waitress set down two cups of hot chocolate, and only then did Kara stir, thanking her and staring down at the melting marshmallows. The waitress returned again a few minutes later with six different slices of pie, and Kara looked up at Lena with raised eyebrows. “You ordered all of them?”

 

            “Well I didn’t know which one you were in the mood for,” Lena smiled. “And like you said, you’re always in the mood for pie, so I figured I couldn’t go wrong with all of them.”

 

            Kara let out a quiet laugh, picking up one of the forks. “You spoil me too much.”

 

            “You deserve it,” Lena told her.

 

            They took it in turns trying all the pies and drinking their hot chocolate, and each time Kara smiled, Lena drank in the sight of it, wishing for the day when she never stopped smiling again. She watched as Kara scratched Athena behind the ears and fed her a piece of pie crust, making a quiet fuss over her, and Kara looked up to catch her staring.

 

            “What is it?” she asked, raising her eyebrows as she smiled slightly.

 

            “Oh, um, nothing,” Lena said, returning the smile. “I was just, uh, I’ve been thinking. Y-you seem very … relaxed around the dog. Like she makes you feel less, I don’t know, anxious? Or depressed maybe? I don’t mean to say that you _shouldn’t_ be, or sound like I’m criticising you for feeling that way, I was just thinking that when we get home I might, um, register her as a service dog for you.”

 

            “A service dog?” Kara asked, sounding skeptical.

 

            “Yes, for when you leave the house. You know like one of those emotional support dogs. That way you’ll legally be allowed to take her in places. We’ll get her one of those little vests and register her online,” Lena explained. “Unless you don’t want to, but um, well, it’s been found to be useful with military personnel.”

 

            “Huh,” Kara said slowly, sounding slightly suspicious. “And how exactly do _you_ know it’s been found to be useful?”

 

            “You know how, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking me in that tone,” Lena said with an amused smile. “Of course I’m going to do some research. I want to help you, and apparently dogs help. We can get six new puppies if you want. As many dogs as you’d like, if it helps.”

 

            “What if I want a hundred and one Dalmatians?” Kara asked, raising one eyebrow as she smiled.

 

            Lena snorted, rolling her eyes as she laughed. “Well that’s just unrealistic. Where would we put them all? And who would show our little girl the attention she deserves.”

 

            Athena climbed to her feet and started wagging her tail in excitement as Kara started fussing over her again, kissing her on the nose. “Thank you,” Kara said, not looking up at Lena. “I think you might be right.”

 

            “When am I ever not?” Lena joked, picking up her hot chocolate as she gazed lovingly at Kara.

 

\---

 

            The elevator doors opened and Lena wheeled Kara out and down the hallway to her front door. Athena sat next to her as Lena found her key and hesitated before handing it to Kara. “Welcome home.”

 

            Smiling up at Lena, she reached up to guide her face down to her own and quickly kissed her, before inserting the key in the door and unlocking it. Handing the key back to Lena, they watched Athena bound down the hallway and quietly laughed as they made their way inside.

 

            “Mom?” Lena called out, kicking the door shut behind her.

 

            “Hi, honey,” Lillian’s voice floated towards them. “Do you need a hand?”

 

            “No, I’m good,” Lena called back, wheeling Kara inside.

 

            They made it to the end of the hallway and Lena took in the apartment. She hadn’t been here in over a month, and the renovations she’d asked her mom to sort out were finished and Lena could barely recognize her own apartment. If Kara hadn’t come back, Lena imagined that she would be able to sit here and not see memories of her written into the very fabric of the place. Not only was all the furniture new and in a different colour scheme, but the arrangement of the furniture had been changed, making it look completely different. Lena looked around with approval – it still felt homely and cozy, just different.

 

            “What happened?” Kara asked, sounding slightly shocked.

 

            “Ah, well, I, um, had a bit of a meltdown … afterwards, and I, um, put everything that reminded me of you into my room, and then I asked my mom to throw it all away and get someone in to redecorate. I guess this is it.”

 

            “It looks so different,” Kara murmured.

 

            Lena blinked in surprise, realizing that change probably wasn’t such a good idea for Kara right now. She needed stability and familiarity. “Um, I can get everything changed back to how it was.”

 

            “No, no,” Kara protested. “I like it.” Lena smiled slightly, becoming unfrozen as she pushed Kara further into the apartment. Lillian emerged from one of the other hallways then, smiling widely at the two of them.

 

            “Hi, mom,” Lena said, walking over to give Lillian a hug, and even though they’d both become more familiar with showing each other affection, it was still a slight shock for Lillian to see her daughter acting so openly with her. “The place looks great, thank you.”

 

            “You’re welcome, sweetheart,” Lillian said, giving her a slight squeeze before Lena pulled back. Turning to smile at Kara, Lillian’s eyes widened slightly. “Oh! Kara, your hair’s different.”

 

            “Yeah, I, uh, needed a change,” Kara smiled back, fingering the ends of her short hair.

 

            “It suits you,” Lillian told her. “And how are you?”

 

            “Oh, yeah, I’m fine, Lillian. I’ll be back on my feet soon,” Kara assured her. “How are you? We didn’t really get to talk while I was in hospital, I think I was too drugged up on pain medication. I hear that you’ve been busy running L-Corp for Lena.”

 

            “I’m glad you’re doing well,” Lillian said, her eyes flickering to Lena for a second. “Um, I’m well, thank you for asking. I was actually just finishing up a business call with a Welsh mining company, I think we’ll have that contract for the steel you need by the end of the week.”

 

            “Excellent,” Lena smiled. “Thanks mom.”

 

            “Right, well, I’ll get my things and leave you too it then,” Lillian smiled at them both.

 

            “What? Where are you going?” Kara asked, surprised that Lillian was leaving already.

 

            “I’ve booked a hotel for the next week. I thought you two might like some time to settle back in here, but I thought I’d stay just a little while longer in case you need help with anything,” Lillian explained.

 

            “Oh, no, please, stay,” Kara protested. “There’s plenty of room here.”

 

            Lillian shot Lena another look, who gave her a warm smile and shrugged. Smiling down at Kara, Lillian shrugged too. “Well, if you’re sure.”

 

            “Of course. I insist,” Kara smiled back at her.

 

            “Right, well, we’ll just go and put our pyjamas on and then we can sort out dinner,” Lena said, gripping the handles on the back of the wheelchair.

 

            “Oh, well I figured that Alex and Maggie would probably be coming over for dinner, so I ordered Chinese for the four of you. I know it’s your favourite, Kara,” Lillian explained.

 

            “Really?” Kara’s eyes lit up. “Thank you! And yeah, I actually need to call my sister and tell her we’re home now.” Lena wheeled them into her newly refurbished bedroom, and stopped in her tracks again as they both took in the new look. After a moment, Lena wheeled Kara over to the bed and helped her out of the wheelchair, before going to fetch some pyjamas for them both.

 

            They went back out to the living room as soon as they’d changed, and found a cup of tea waiting for them both. Sat on the sofa, with Kara carefully stretched out, Lena could almost pretend like nothing had ever happened. It felt exactly the same as the dozens of times they’d done this before as they watched TV and talked. If it wasn’t for the bulky cast in Lena’s lap, or the fact that Kara and her mom were catching up like they were old friends, it would have seemed normal. They talked and watched TV until there was a knock on the door, and with a small smile to Kara, Lena stood up. “Here’s trouble.”

 

            Opening the door, Lena let Alex and Maggie in, giving them both a smile as they walked down the hallway. They both let out surprised comments at the sight of the apartment, but they were here when Lena had asked Lillian to change it, so they didn’t ask questions. Alex went over to hug her sister, while Lena went to make her and Maggie some drinks, and Maggie followed.

 

            “You good?” Maggie asked, looking at Lena with concern. Lena knew she probably looked awful – she was tired, and had barely seen sunlight in a month, which wasn’t exactly a new thing for her, but it probably made the bags under her eyes seem more prominent.

 

            “Yeah, I’m fine,” Lena assured her. “She’s, well, not good, but not bad. Just as expected, I guess.”

 

            “I know, I hear about how Kara is all the time, but are _you_ okay? You’ve barely left her side for the entire month, like I know you love her, Luthor, but you’ve got to be getting sick of her by now,” Maggie joked.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes at her, a smile playing at the corners of her lips. “I could never get sick of her. I’m just grateful that we get more time together – I didn’t think that we would, but we do. Everything else just seems silly when I remember that. She’s, uh, not in the best mood sometimes though. It’s the PTSD, you know? She gets irritable sometimes, and being stuck in a wheelchair with a dozen broken bones isn’t helping her feel better. I know she doesn’t mean to snap, but I’m trying to help make it easier for her without being too overbearing. The same goes for when she just stares off into space, like I want to pull her out of it, but I don’t want to nag her too much, you know? It’s fine though, we’ll get through this together.”

 

            “Take some time for yourself, okay? Tomorrow or the day after, just go shopping with your mom, or I don’t know, invest in a business. Whatever it is you rich people do for fun,” Maggie told her, smirking slightly. “Alex and I will keep an eye on her.”

 

            “I’m fine, really,” Lena protested.

 

            “I know you are, but you need to do something fun,” Maggie told her, and Lena sighed before giving her a nod. She could do with some fun, but she wanted that fun to be with Kara, and she didn’t think Kara would be up for it yet. Perhaps in a couple of weeks, when her casts came off, they could do something fun to celebrate.

 

            A few minutes later there was a knock on the door, and Lena went to collect their food off the delivery girl. Lillian had ordered one of everything off the menu, not sure what the girl’s favourite dishes were, so there was plenty to go around, and they all chatted as they dug into their food. Lena was relieved to see that Kara was happily engaging in the conversation.

 

\---

 

            Alex and Maggie didn’t stay late, and as they left they gave Kara a stern warning to go to bed and get some rest. She’d rolled her eyes, but after making her a cup of tea, Lena suggested that they have an early night, and Kara agreed with minimal arguing, and Lena suspected that she was worn out from their busy morning in Midvale, as well as the long train ride.

 

            Wishing Lillian a good night, they two of them went to Lena’s room, and Lena helped her into bed, before crawling in next to her. They were silent as they lay there, Kara facing the wall while Lena cuddled up behind her, and Lena pushed herself up slightly so that she could kiss Kara’s cheek, before settling down again.

 

            “Goodnight,” Lena murmured. “I love you.”

 

            “I know,” Kara said, and Lena could hear the smile in her voice, but she didn’t say it back. Instead, she just stayed silent, and Lena knew it wasn’t because she didn’t want to say it back, it was because she had something on her mind – something that was bothering her.

 

            “What’s wrong?” Lena softly asked.

 

            Kara let out a sigh, and it took a few moments for her to reply. “I was, um, thinking about … well, we haven’t had sex since I’ve been home. You haven’t even tried, or asked, and I just-, I thought it was because we were at my mom’s, and I know you’re funny about all of that … but we’re home, and you want to go to sleep. Do you not- don’t you want to?”

 

            “No, I don’t,” Lena admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re right, it’s because we were at your mom’s but that’s not the only reason. I just-, you’re still healing, you’ve got casts and bandages and I-I don’t think it’s a good idea … not yet. Why? Do you want to?”

 

            Lena felt Kara shrug slightly. “I don’t know. I mean, I _do_ , but I-I don’t. I don’t know. I just … I feel numb. I can’t-, I don’t think I’d be able to …”

 

            “It’s okay,” Lena murmured, kissing Kara’s hair. “We don’t have to rush anything. Just … focus on getting better for now. That's what's important. Everything else will come later on.”

 

            “I love you,” Kara murmured, turning around in Lena’s arms and fumbling in the dark to press a kiss to her lips. Lena shifted so that she was on her back, and gently cradled Kara against her chest, stroking her hair as she felt her breathe.

 

            “I love you too.”


	70. Chapter 70

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay. For some reason I thought getting a second job would be a good idea before my exams, so I've been busy balancing studying and work, but soon I should have more time to write. Thanks for bearing with me, you guys are the best.

            Lillian left after two weeks, deciding to stay a bit longer and help Lena out with Kara. Eliza visited the first weekend they were home too, and Lena was relieved, because at least with her family around her, Kara would show a little bit of interest to what was happening around her. She did make some effort to talk to Lillian, but a lot of the time she just did exactly the same as she’d done at Eliza’s house – laid on the sofa and stared off into space.

 

            That’s what they were currently doing, watching Tangled on the TV and drinking hot chocolate. It was starting to get dark outside, and Lena was slightly nervous about her first night alone with Kara – if things got bad, there would be no one here to help her. There was only so much talking she could do to calm her down. Kara started singing along to one of the songs, and Lena smiled, as she ran her fingers through her hair. Kara looked at her and there was a spark of something in her eyes as she started serenading Lena. They both laughed and then Lena joined in and for a second everything was fine, and then there was a loud knock on the door and they both trailed off.

 

            “One second,” Lena said with annoyance, and Kara sat up so that Lena could get up. Padding towards the door, Lena frowned, wondering who it was. Unlocking the door, she was met by Maggie, who brushed past Lena and stomped down the hallway. Lena poked her head out and looked around for Alex, her eyebrows raising in surprise when she realized that she was alone.

 

            “Hey, where’s your other half?” Lena asked, shutting the door and trailing after Maggie.

 

            “I don’t know,” Maggie huffed. “Why don’t you fucking try Metropolis or wherever else you two planned to run away to.”

 

            “What?” Lena asked, knitting her eyebrows together, and Kara shot her a questioning look over the top of the sofa as Maggie sat down next to her and stole the blanket.

 

            “Oh please,” Maggie snorted. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know that she requested for a transfer.”

 

            “Well I was dead for two weeks, so no, I didn't,” Kara shrugged, receiving an exasperated look off Lena and Maggie. She smiled slightly, settling down on the pillows. “What am I missing here?”

 

            “Um, well I was … a mess, _obviously_ , and well, I tried to run away but your sister stopped me. Then she, um, she said we could go, if I really wanted to, but I didn’t think she _actually_ did anything with that. I didn't know she applied for a transfer,” Lena sheepishly explained.

 

            “You tried to run away?” Kara asked, her eyebrows shooting up. “Why?”

 

            “Because I thought you were dead!” Lena explained, gesturing helplessly. “I didn’t want to stay, I didn’t want to run a business, I was just … I wanted to go somewhere that you couldn’t follow me.”

 

            “And apparently your sister fucking listened, because she applied for a transfer without even fucking telling me! And now this is the first time I’m hearing of this and I’m apparently overreacting because she decided _not_ to tell me and I got mad. Like did I misunderstand her when she proposed? Or does that not mean that we make decisions together?” Maggie ranted. Lena silently went to make them all hot chocolate as she listened to Maggie rant. Kara was also listening with interest, and Lena was a bit wary about whether she should be worrying herself with her sister’s relationship.

 

            Carefully balancing the three mugs, Lena carried them down to the coffee table and handed them off to Kara and Maggie, before sitting back down with her own mug. Kara shifted so that she was propped up against Lena, and she let out a quiet laugh as the steam from her hot drink fogged up her glasses. Joining in on her laughter, Lena plucked them off Kara’s face and wiped them, before carefully perching them back on her nose.

 

            “Sorry,” Lena said to Maggie. “I feel like this is my fault. I put the idea into her head, and if I’d known she was going to do something like this, then I would’ve talked her out of it, or told you.”

 

            “It’s fine,” Maggie said. “You had every right to want to leave, but she should’ve told me herself.” Frowning, Maggie settled against the pillows, turning her attention to the film, and her face softened as she watched, and Lena rolled her eyes. How did she get surrounded by so many Disney freaks?

 

            “I don’t think she meant to hurt you, I think it was just a backup place, in case things got too hard,” Kara told her, and Maggie let out a heavy sigh.

 

            “Yeah, no shit,” Maggie said, rolling her eyes. “The problem isn’t that she _made_ a plan, it’s that she didn’t _tell_ me about her plan.”

 

            “You’ve got a point there,” Lena said, thinking about how mad she’d been when Kara had hidden the fact that she was up for a promotion, or when she’d been considering enlisting again. Maggie nodded with satisfaction, glad to have someone on her side, and Kara pressed her lips together to stop herself from giving her own opinion.

 

            “Have you eaten?” Lena asked a few minutes later, and Maggie shook her head. “Okay, well we’re getting pizza. I’ll order it now.”

 

            And so the three of them sat in front of the TV watching films all night while they ate pizza. It turned out that Alex was actually working the night shift, and Lena slyly messaged her to let her know that Maggie would be at her place when Alex got home. She knew what it was like to panic about the safety of the person you loved, and she didn’t think Maggie would want Alex to feel that way, no matter how mad she was right now.

 

            Before long, Kara fell asleep with her head in Lena’s lap, and Lena took her glasses off for her, stroking Kara’s hair as she watched her sleep for a while. She looked up, feeling Maggie’s gaze on her, and gave the other girl a small smile.

 

            “How are things?” Maggie asked, looking at Kara.

 

            “They’re … I don’t know,” Lena admitted. “Sometimes it feels like everything’s normal, but then she wakes up screaming or starts having a flashback and it’s like … I don’t know how to help her. I think she’ll get through it; she just needs time. Her casts are coming off tomorrow, so I think that might help a little. It might make her feel like she’s getting better, physically at least. She's fighting me on the therapy though. That's the only time she really shows any strong emotions. So yeah, that's how things are.”

 

            Maggie nodded slowly, raising her eyebrows slightly. “And how are _other_ things?”

 

            “Other things? Wha- are you asking me about my sex life?” Lena quietly spluttered, and Maggie laughed quietly as she shrugged carelessly. Lena felt her cheeks warm slightly, and she let out a small sigh. “I-, well, it’s … non-existent.”

 

            “Ah,” Maggie murmured. “Some of my cop buddies were in the military for a while. I’ve seen them with PTSD and the like … it’s not pretty. It’s tough. I know how it works, and if there’s anyone who doesn’t deserve this, it’s her. I don’t want to belittle it, but it _will_ get better.”

 

            “Yeah,” Lena agreed, rubbing her tired eyes.

 

            “Hey, you should get some sleep,” Maggie told her, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she looked at Lena.

 

            “I’m fine,” Lena told her, looking down at Kara. “I don’t want to move or I’ll wake her up. She needs her sleep too.”

 

            “So do you,” Maggie said. “Look, you’re falling asleep where you’re sat. Just sleep there if you have to, but just sleep.”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes, but she slowly shifted so that she was in a more comfortable position, and soon enough she drifted off to sleep. It was a deep sleep, and probably the most peaceful sleep that Lena had had in a while, because she knew that Maggie was there to watch Kara for her, and Lena didn’t feel guilty for napping instead of restlessly dozing like she usually did. Still, she woke up when Kara started stirring, and Lena gently shook her awake before it turned into a full blown nightmare.

 

            “Hey, come on,” Lena murmured, “you’re okay, you’re safe. Let’s go to bed.”

 

            Kara nodded, covering her mouth as she yawned. She uncurled herself and slowly stood up, balancing on her healed foot, still encased in the cast. After six weeks, Kara could walk on it now, and Lena stood up to help her hobble towards her bedroom. A half asleep Maggie trailed after them, and Lena didn’t protest when she crawled into bed next to her and Kara.

 

            “Goodnight,” Lena murmured, throwing an arm over Kara’s waist as she cuddled up behind her. “I love you.”

 

            “I love you,” Kara replied, her hand coming up to cover Lena’s.

 

            Lena felt an arm snake around her waist, and she jumped slightly. “I love you too,” Maggie sleepily replied, and Lena could hear the laugh she was suppressing.

 

            “Maggie, I swear to fucking god,” Lena muttered, feeling Kara shake with laughter beneath her. Sighing, Lena smiled slightly, tightening her grip on Kara as she pressed a kiss to her hair. Slowly, Lena was lulled back to sleep, and she silently prayed that Kara would sleep through the night.

 

\---

 

            For the first time since Kara came home, Lena left her in bed – with Maggie of course – but for a for a little while, Lena had some time to herself. She had a longer shower than she could remember having in a while, taking her time as she washed her hair, before getting out and wrapping herself in a fluffy bathrobe as she padded to the kitchen to start breakfast. Getting out the eggs, Lena started scrambling them in a pan as she set the toast down in the toaster. Lena quickly ran up to her roof to pick a flower. Pouring three glasses of juice, Lena found a tray and placed one of the glasses on it along with a plate of eggs on toast, and the flower.

 

            Carefully, Lena balanced the tray as she walked towards her bedroom and opened the door. Kara stirred as she walked in, and Lena smiled as she walked over to her, and Kara sat up looking at Lena with surprise. Placing the tray on Kara’s lap, Lena sat down on the edge of the bed. “Good morning,” she murmured, cupping Kara’s cheek.

 

            Picking up the flower and smelling it, Kara smiled, squinting slightly without her glasses. Leaning in, Kara kissed her gently. “Good morning,” Kara replied. “This is a nice surprise.”

 

            “Where’s mine?” Maggie grumbled as she pulled her head out from under her pillow. Lena rolled her eyes, slapping Maggie’s hand away as she tried to pinch a piece of Kara’s toast.

 

            “Ours is in the kitchen,” Lena told her, and Maggie mumbled her thanks as she slipped out of bed and went in search of her breakfast. Lena stayed with Kara as she watched her eat, waving away Kara’s concern for Lena’s breakfast going cold. Rolling her eyes, Kara wolfed down her food and kissed Lena again in thanks, before she lifted the tray and kicked the blankets off. Relieving her of the tray, Lena carefully watched Kara stand up.

 

            “God, I can’t wait to get these casts off,” Kara complained, trying to itch under the one on her arm as she hobbled after Lena.

 

            Laughing, Lena held the door open for Kara and waved her through. “Let me eat my breakfast and then I’ll help you get ready, and then we’ll get going.”

 

            In the kitchen, Lena heated her eggs up and put some bread down for herself, while Kara went to sit down next to Maggie, attempting steal a piece of her toast as revenge. Lena laughed as she walked over to the table and set her plate down, she could see Kara’s eyes light up with amusement at her teasing Maggie. Walking over to the sofa, Lena picked up Kara’s glasses and handed them to her with a kiss on the top of her head. Sitting down, Lena started to eat her breakfast, while she listened to Kara and Maggie talk.

 

            “Have you spoken to her yet?” Kara asked.

 

            Maggie snorted. “No. I literally _just_ woke up. I’m surprised she’s not knocking down your door right now. I’m guessing one of you told her I was here, although it’s not like I’d be anywhere else except work so ...”

 

            “She’s not stupid,” Lena shrugged, “but yeah, I told her you were here.” Maggie nodded, not showing ay surprise as she drank the rest of her juice. Standing up, she took her empty dishes and dumped them in the sink.

 

            “Hey, you got any coffee?” Maggie asked, rifling through the cupboard.

 

            Lena snorted. “Coffee? I haven’t had coffee in about three months, remember? If I remember correctly, _you_ stole my coffee machine!”

 

            “Oh, true,” Maggie laughed, banging the cupboard shut as she pottered around the kitchen. “It makes really good coffee. I think we took your beans too, and that shit is delicious.” Lena had stopped listening halfway through, because at the loud bang on the cupboard door shutting, Kara had gone ridged in her seat, her eyes unfocused as her breathing sped up. Lena quickly stood up and walked around the table to kneel in front of Kara.

 

            “Kara. Kara, listen. You’re not there, you’re home. You’re safe,” Lena started saying in a soothing voice.

 

            “Oh fuck,” Maggie swore, hurrying around the kitchen counter to crouch down next to Kara. She stared at Lena with wide eyes. “What do we do?”

 

            Ignoring her, Lena reached out and grasped one of Kara’s hands. “Can you feel that? Can you feel how cold my hands are? Focus on that. Come back, you’re not there.”

 

            “GET BACK!” Kara shouted, pulling her hand out of Lena’s and staring off into space with eyes wide with horror.

 

            “Maggie, I need tea. And music, put on some music,” Lena said, looking at Kara with panic. She heard Maggie move and kept murmuring reassuring things to Kara while she waited for Maggie to come back – no matter what she said though, Lena’s voice did nothing to reassure her. The sound of the stove clicking as Maggie lit the gas reached their ears, and soon after, the first notes of some classical music followed. A few minutes later, Maggie was pressing a hot cup of tea into Kara’s hand, and Lena lifted it for her so that she could smell the herbal fragrance of it. “Kara, you’re safe. Come on, drink. Focus on the tea. Can you hear my voice? And the music? That’s because you’re home, with me. You’re not over there.”

 

            Slowly, Kara drank the tea that Lena had pressed to her lips and slowly dribbled in, coughing slightly as she swallowed. The touch, smell and taste of the tea seemed to help, and slowly, Kara blinked, focusing on Lena’s face. Reaching out, Lena gently pressed the tips of her fingers to Kara’s cheek, drawing back slightly as Kara flinched away from her touch.

 

            “Kara-“ Lena started, but Kara jerked backwards, placing her cup of tea on the table and putting her head in her hands as she tried to calm herself before she had another panic attack. “Deep breaths,” Lena murmured.

 

            Kara silently took her advice, breathing in deeply and holding it for a few seconds before breathing out slowly. She shook slightly, and Lena ached to touch her, but she didn’t want to overwhelm Kara. Instead, Lena just sat there making gentle shushing and comforting sounds, watching as Kara slowly stopped shaking and sat back, running her fingers through her hair. She took another deep breath, avoiding Lena’s gaze as she stared at the tea in front of her.

 

            “Kara-“

 

            “I’m fine,” Kara muttered.

 

            Lena let out a soft sigh, reaching out to place a hand on Kara’s knee. “Sweetheart, you’re not well. Please, let me help you. Let me get you some help.”

 

            “I don’t ne-“ Kara protested, but Lena reached up to turn her chin so that they were eye to eye.

 

            “Please,” Lena begged, feeling a lump form in her throat and her eyes prickle with tears. It had been enough time for Kara to start going to therapy, and Lena didn’t want to have to force her, but she also couldn’t watch Kara slip away from her and push her away any longer. “Please, let me help you. I can make an appointment with the best psychotherapist in the city. In the country if it helps. I want you to get better, Kara. Please.”

 

             _“Better?_ You think talking to someone will make me _better?”_ Kara asked sharply, her face cold and alien to Lena as she stared at her.

 

            “Yes,” Lena firmly said. “It won’t be easy, or quick, but it _will_ , Kara. Please. I never ask you to do things for me, but I’m asking you now. Please do this for me.”

 

            Kara was silent for a few minutes, the muscles in her jaw working as she grit her teeth in frustration. Eventually, she let out a heavy sigh, standing up and awkwardly limping towards the hallway. As she reached the mouth of the hallway, she paused, not turning around.

 

            “Okay.”

 

\---

 

            They weren’t at the hospital too long, and soon enough Kara’s leg and arm were free of the casts, and she smiled slightly as she flexed her fingers and toes. As they walked back to the car, Lena was surprised by the feeling of Kara’s finger lacing with her own.

 

            “How about we walk and get some ice cream before we go home?” Lena suggested, and Kara ducked her head to kiss Lena on the cheek, giving their intertwined hands a squeeze as they walked past the car park and carried on walking.

 

            Half an hour later they were both clutching double scoops of ice cream, and wandering around the city. Lena had suggested that they sit down at one of the tables outside, but Kara said she wanted to stretch her legs properly, so instead they walked around until they found themselves in the closest park. Lena dragged Kara over to the swings, remembering her childish joy the first time she’d dragged Lena to a park.

 

            This time Kara was silent as she ate her ice cream and Lena gently pushed her on the swing. They watched a father help his laughing kids across the monkey bars, and Kara finally broke the silence.

 

            “Do you still want kids?” she quietly asked, and Lena blinked in surprise. “You said you wanted two. Two girls.”

 

            “I mean … maybe. In the future,” Lena hesitantly replied, giving Kara another small push.

 

            “Oh, okay. Just checking,” Kara mumbled. Lena didn’t push her again, and Kara slowly swung back and forth until she came to a stop on her own. Walking around to stand in front of her, Lena tilted Kara’s chin up, brushing her short hair back and cupping her face as she looked into Kara’s eyes. Lena rubbed away the crease between Kara’s eyebrows and leant down to press a kiss on her forehead.

 

            “Is that okay? Is that-, do _you_ still want kids?” Lena asked. Kara closed her eyes for a second, smiling slightly as she brought a hand up to cover Lena’s. Opening her eyes, she stared up at Lena.

 

            “Maybe … in the future,” Kara smiled, and Lena let out a quiet laugh. “For now though, it’s just you and me.”

 

            “You and me,” Lena agreed.


	71. Chapter 71

            The next month passed by in a flurry of activity, and June fast approached. Kara made a small amount of progress, but it was a relief to them both that she was actually starting to get somewhere. After Maggie had slammed the cupboard door and triggered a flashback, Lena had had every cupboard, drawer and door hinge and runner changed to ones that couldn’t be slammed. When they fought it was almost frustrating not being able to slam a door shut behind them when they stormed off, but Lena had everything in the apartment practically baby proofed to try and help Kara. Slowly she started to have less nightmares at night, and each morning they woke up after a peaceful night’s sleep, it felt like a small victory.

 

            It started with therapy, which caused a few arguments between not just Lena and Kara, but everyone. Eventually though, Kara let Lena make an appointment; once a week individually, and then another weekly session for couples counselling. Kara had fought against the couple’s therapy, insisting that there was nothing wrong with their relationship, but Lena had been adamant, because although she wouldn’t admit it, she was close to breaking. They were three weeks in, and it was hard for them both, but they were managing. Lena attributed most of Kara’s recovery to the fact that they’d put Athena through the compulsory training and registered her as a service dog. She never left Kara’s side, and while Kara rarely ventured outside of the apartment, it was a comfort to her to know that she would have someone to keep her grounded if something triggered a flashback or an anxiety attack when she did go out – not that Lena had let her go anywhere alone yet anyway.

 

            Now, they were in the process of packing up all of Kara’s stuff at Alex’s old apartment, and moving it all into Lena’s place. Their place. Kara was finally fully moving in, because she’d insisted that they do _something_. One of their arguments had been about Lena going back to work, and Kara taking Lillian up on her work offer, but Lena had put her foot down. Instead, they’d compromised on moving all of Kara’s belongings into the apartment, because at least that was they were both occupied, and Lena had started working with Lillian, taking on paperwork that she could do at home with Kara. On top of therapy and moving, Kara was so worn out that she had no motivation to do anything – not that Lena suspected she would want to do anything even if they weren’t busy. Most days, she would sit in the photography room that Lena had set up for her as a birthday gift, and Lena left her to do whatever she did in there, giving her privacy with her photos and cameras. At least that was one thing she showed some interest in.

 

            Kara had her individual therapy that day, and Lena was sat in the waiting room for the session to finish. She’d promised Kara that she would come with her to every session and sit outside, and afterwards they’d do something fun to help Kara unwind, because Lena knew how draining therapy was. She had started getting back into the routine of therapy with her mom, and Lena wasn’t sure whether or not it was a blessing or a curse, because for that hour, it was the only time she was away from Kara, but at the same time, she hated the fact that she _was_ away from Kara. She was on Lena’s mind every second, no matter what she was doing her mind would always run away to thoughts of Kara, and she’d find herself panicking about whether or not she was okay doing whatever she was doing with Alex or Maggie. Even now, with Lena sat in the waiting room, she was thinking about Kara and wondering how the session was going. It was another fifteen minutes before Kara came out, holding Athena’s leash in her hand, and Lena climbed to her feet, giving her a small smile.

 

            Kara sorted out her next appointment, before walking over to Lena and holding out a hand. “Let’s go.”

 

            They walked through the city, having walked to the clinic, and Lena gave Kara’s hand a quick squeeze. “Where do you want to go? There’s that new art exhibit at the gallery,” Lena suggested. “Or we can go and get tacos from that Mexican restaurant you like and go and walk through the botanical gardens. I bet the flowers are blooming nicely now.”

 

            “Can we go home?” Kara asked in a small voice, giving Lena a pleading look.

 

            Lifting their entwined hands, Lena placed a kiss to the back of Kara’s and gave her a smile. “Of course. We can order Chinese and watch a film.”

 

            “Thank you,” Kara said, her shoulder sagging in relief. Lena frowned slightly, worried that Kara would think that Lena was doing this for herself. She was more concerned with Kara being shut inside than herself. Lena was used to being shut up in a stuffy office all day, so it didn’t make much of a difference to her, but she didn’t want Kara to lock herself away and avoid the world. Not when she’d been so outgoing and enthusiastic about life. If she didn’t want to though, Lena didn’t want to push her, so instead, they went home.

 

\---

 

            The two of them were curled up on the sofa, both eating their takeaway as they watched the third Harry Potter movie. It was dark outside, and Lena had the windows open, letting in a warm breeze and the quiet hum of the city. There was a knock on the door, and Lena sighed as she put her food down, pressing a kiss on the top of Kara’s head before she went to answer it. Opening the door, Lena sighed as she took in a pissed off looking Maggie, who tried to brush past her as she stepped inside.

 

            Lena felt her irritation flare up, and she put a hand out to stop Maggie. “Whatever it is, no,” Lena told her.

 

            Maggie blinked in surprise, stopping in her tracks as she looked up at Lena. “What?”

 

            “I’m tired, Maggie! I’m tired of trying to help everyone sort out their shit! I have my own shit to figure out, and I know that you were good to me while Kara was gone, and I’ll always be grateful to you for that, but whatever you’re here to avoid, I’m _not_ allowing it. Go home! Sort your shit out with Alex like an adult. Stop fucking coming over to crash here, or getting into bed with me and my fiancée! It was fine when Kara wasn't here and I couldn't sleep alone and I was falling apart, and I'm sorry if I sound selfish or bitchy, but I’m not that person for you – you have a fiancée for that! I can’t fix your fucking problems, when I can’t even fix my own! Fix your shit and leave me out of it. I haven’t had a minute’s peace in the last two months! I just want to wake up and cook breakfast, and watch TV with Kara – alone. If you’re not here, Alex is here, or my mom, or Eliza. I love you all but I need you to stop coming over all the time. Seriously. I’m not in a fucking relationship with three people! I don’t _want_ your help; I can do this by myself. I _need_ to do this by myself, because if I can’t help her then I can’t marry her!” Lena ranted, her frustration growing until she was struggling to keep her voice down.

 

            “Oh … well alright then,” Maggie said, giving Lena a look of surprise. “Sorry for the intrusion.”

 

            “Maggie-” Lena sighed, giving her an apologetic look.

 

            “No it’s fine,” Maggie said, giving her a hesitant smile. “You have a good point. I guess I needed that. I guess I’ll see you on Sunday for dinner. Have a good night, and let me know if you need anything.” She turned and left without another word, and Lena let out a heavy sigh as she ran her fingers through her hair. Turning around, she froze as she saw Kara stood at the end of the hallway, and she closed her eyes for a second.

 

            “Sorry, I just-“ Lena started, taking a step towards Kara.

 

            “Don’t worry about it,” Kara muttered. “I’m, uh, tired. I think I’ll go to bed now.”

 

            “Kara,” Lena begged, taking another step forward.

 

            Kara turned around. “It’s fine. You should stay up for a while, I’ll be fine by myself. Finish the movie.”

 

            Lena bit back a curse as Kara walked through the apartment and into Lena’s bedroom without another word. She grit her teeth as she made her way back into the living room and shut the film off. Picking up the rest of their food, Lena put it in the fridge and tidied up around the kitchen and the living room. With a sigh, she sat down on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling as she fought back her frustration at herself. It was too much. She was scared that it would be too much for Kara too – that she’d think she didn’t need Lena anymore.

 

            She sat on the sofa for a while, before getting up and walking to her gym. She’d had a boxing bag fitted, and she punched until her arms felt dead, because it was better than punching the wall, and afterwards she felt slightly better. After a quick shower to wash the sweat off, Lena got some clean pyjamas from the laundry room and changed into them. Opening her bedroom door a crack, she slipped inside and tiptoed over to her side of the bed, sliding under the covers. Facing away from Kara, Lena jumped slightly as she felt Kara’s arm wind around her waist as she moved closer. Letting out a shaky breath, Lena closed her eyes and sank into an uneasy sleep.

 

\---

 

            Kara didn’t have a nightmare that night, and they both felt better in the morning after a full night’s sleep. Neither of them spoke much as they made breakfast together, and Lena felt guilty about last night because she knew that Kara had overheard her, and Lena didn’t want her to think that she was complaining. She was just frustrated, and tired, but that didn’t mean she resented looking after Kara – not even for a second.

 

            Lena washed their dishes while Kara showered, and then Lena went to take her own shower in one of the guest bathrooms. Wrapped in a towel, she walked back to her bedroom, and saw Kara getting dressed in one of her flannel shirts and jeans, which meant that she planned on going out today.

 

            “I-I thought we could, um, well, go hiking,” Kara said when she turned around to find Lena standing there. “Another picnic.”

 

            “A picnic?” Lena repeated, sounding surprised. “Oh, um, okay. Let me get dressed and then I’ll sort out some food for us.” Lena felt relieved at Kara’s desire to go for a hike, and quickly got dressed before Kara decided that she’d rather lay on the sofa all day. In the kitchen, Lena quickly put together some sandwiches, as well as some fruit and other snacks, and chucked it all in a bag. Snagging Kara’s picnic blanket out of one of the cupboards, Lena got everything ready and waited for Kara to put her hiking boots on. Clipping Athena’s leash to her collar, Kara looked up and smiled at Lena.

 

            “I’m ready,” she murmured, and Lena picked up the bag and plucked her keys off the counter. Together, they went downstairs and got into Lena’s car, and soon they were heading out of the city, listening to the radio with the windows rolled down.

 

            The drive went by fast, and soon enough Lena was pulling over and they were climbing out of the car. Athena started sniffing around the base of one of the trees at the edge of the grass, and Lena put the bag on her back, whistling for the dog to come. Crouching down, Kara unclipped the leash and gave Athena a kiss on her snout, laughing quietly as she overbalanced and fell back from the weight of the dog pushing against her. Laughing, Lena held out a hand and pulled Kara to her feet, before entwining their fingers and starting to walk towards the treeline. They were silent for a few minutes, but there was something about the warm summer air, the trees and the twittering birds that made Kara come alive. As they slipped on fallen leaves and tripped over hidden tree roots, they laughed and talked, and Kara would quietly hum whenever the conversation lulled. For the first time in ages, Lena felt a weight lift off her shoulders. Taking a deep breath, she felt like it was the first time she could breathe in a long time. It was like she’d been underwater too long, and she’d finally come up for air.

 

            The click of a camera caught Lena’s attention, and she turned to look up at Kara, looking at her with amusement. “Perfect,” Kara smiled as she looked down at the developing photo.

 

            Reaching out for the camera, Lena plucked it from Kara’s hands and turned it on her. Kara protested, but Lena tickled her in the ribs and quickly snapped a photo of Kara with her eyes screwed shut and her head thrown back mid-laugh. Lena’s heart rate sped up at the sound of that unhindered happiness, and she blinked back tears as she was filled with an overwhelming feeling of love and adoration. One day she would make Kara laugh like that again every day.

 

            Eventually they burst into the meadow, and Lena was relieved as she looked around. Kara flopped down on the grass, but Lena stood at the edge of the tree line for a moment, looking at the difference of what a few months had done to the place. It was alive again and she felt like crying as she stared out at the grass dotted with tiny flowers in a variety of colours, and the trees with their rustling green leaves. Even the lush countryside on the horizon was a welcome sight. Walking to the middle of the field, Lena spread the blanket out and set the bag down before walking over to the edge of the cliff. She felt arms snake around her waist and Kara rested her chin on Lena’s shoulder as they both took in the breathtaking view.

 

            “Don’t drop your camera this time,” Lena warned her with a small laugh.

 

            “Why? Wouldn’t you go in and get it for me this time? Was that just part of your plan to woo me, and now that you have me you don’t need to try anymore?” Kara joked, tightening her arms around Lena in a quick squeeze.

 

            Lena turned her head slightly, and Kara pulled back. Brushing Kara’s short hair out of her face, Lena asjusted her slightly wonky glasses for her and gave her a small smile. “I’ll never stop trying.”

 

            Kara leant down to brush her lips against Lena’s in a featherlight kiss. Hungry for more, Lena remembered the first and last time they had come here together, just after they’d started dating, and how Kara had kissed her then. Extracting herself from Kara’s arms, Lena turned around and started walking back towards the blanket, but stopped as Kara shouted after her.

 

            “Let’s get married.”

 

            Lena let out a laugh as she turned around and looked at Kara with amusement. She held her left hand up, the diamond winking as it caught the sunlight. “I believe we already are.”

 

            “Today. Now. It’s June. Let’s run away and get married,” Kara said, giving Lena a serious look.

 

            Lena bit back a sound of surprise that she almost choked out. “What? Is this about what I said last night? I didn’t mean it like that, Kara. I meant that I wanted you to get better so that we could be okay, in the future. I want us to have a happy life together, Kara. I meant that I wanted you to get better so we could take the next step together. I didn’t mean that I wouldn’t marry you if you didn’t … if you didn’t get better. I don’t care if it takes five years, or ten years, I’m going to be here until you’re okay again.”

 

            “I know that!” Kara exclaimed, sounding exasperated. “But I want to marry you, Lena. I’ve waited so long to be with you already, and I don’t want to waste time anymore. Let's get married before something else goes wrong.”

 

            Lena sighed heavily, taking a step back towards Kara. “Kara-“

 

            “You don’t want to,” Kara said, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice. She frowned slightly at Lena, giving her a small grimace.

 

            “Kara, you know this isn’t the right way to do this,” Lena said, stopping in front of her and cupping her face in her hands. “Our moms, your sister, our friends. We deserve to have a day of celebration with them. With the people who love us. I want to marry you, more than anything, but I want us to do it properly. I don’t want us to run away like we’re in some classist fifties film where we have to steal away in the middle of the night and elope. I want a special day, with the woman I love, and a white dress and thousands of flowers. We owe it to ourselves, after everything we’ve been through.”

 

            Kara sighed, resting her forehead against Lena’s. “You’re right.”

 

            “When am I ever not?” Lena joked, eliciting a smile out of Kara, before turning serious. “Really though, Kara. If things were normal I would run away with you right now, and I’d find the nearest church and the nearest witnesses, and I’d marry you in a heartbeat. But I don’t want to do it when you’re still healing. If this time next year you decide that you still want to elope, then that’s fine, we’ll talk about it, and if you’re sure, then we’ll do it. I love you, and I want what’s best for you.”

 

            “I love you too,” Kara whispered. She pulled her forehead back and quickly kissed Lena. “Let’s go and eat. I’m starving.” Smiling, Lena led Kara over to the blanket, and they lounged around eating sandwiches and throwing a stick for Athena to fetch. Kara took more photos, mostly of Lena, but of other things in sight too, and Lena was content to watch her.

 

            They stayed all afternoon, only leaving after the sun had started to set and Kara had taken a substantial amount of photos of the sky fading from blue to orange on the horizon. They picked up food on the way home – Lena insisted on salad, and Kara grumbled but gave in – and the sky was almost dark when they got home. Lena was proud of Kara as they walked into the apartment; she’d been out the entire day and she hadn’t had any flashbacks or panic attacks. Intrusive thoughts may have found their way in as they lay under the sun, but if they did, Kara showed no sign of it affecting her. They had a perfect day in Lena’s eyes. Setting the bag down on the floor, Kara unclipped Athena’s leash and went to get her a treat, before slipping her boots off.

 

            “I’m going to have a quick shower,” Lena said, heading towards her bedroom. “I won’t be long.” She’d just stripped off her clothes and stepped under the hot water when the bathroom door opened, and a second later Kara stepped into the shower with her.

 

            “Oh, I-“ Lena didn’t get another word out before Kara’s lips came down on hers. She pushed Lena up against the cold tiles, and goosebumps broke out all over Lena’s body as she was pushed out from under the hot water. She breathlessly gasped Kara’s name and wound her fingers in her hair as Kara trailed hot kisses down Lena’s neck.

 

\---

 

            They lay next to each other in bed, wrapped up in the blankets and staring up at the ceiling. Lena absentmindedly ran her fingers through Kara’s hair, thinking about how perfect their day had been – it almost felt like a dream compared to the difficult past two months. She didn’t realize Kara was crying until she felt hot tears fall into her bare chest. Startled, Lena pushed herself up onto her elbows, bring one hand up to lift Kara’s chin.

 

            “Hey, what’s wrong?” Lena asked, her eyes wide with panic. “Did I hurt you?”

 

            Kara let out a tearful laugh as she wiped at her eyes and tucked her hair behind one ear. “No. No, you didn’t hurt me,” she whispered, leaning up to kiss Lena. “I just-, I love you so much.”

 

            “Oh,” Lena softly exclaimed, her pulse settling back down as her panic faded. “I love you too.”

 

            Neither of them moved for the rest of the night, and Kara fell asleep in Lena’s arms, feeling safe and loved. They didn’t stir until the sun peeked through the curtains the next morning.


	72. Chapter 72

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, I don't know how long this fic is going to end up being, so if I think it's getting a bit boring or pointless soon, then expect a time jump with a long ass epilogue to wrap things up. I'd like to say no more than 10 more chapters though, but I literally have no plan and don't want to rush things too much, so who knows? (Definitely not me.)

            "Lena, you’ve been very quiet today. Is there anything you’d like to discuss?” Megan asked, pulling Lena out of her silence. She was busy worrying at one of her nails, which were all already bitten down until they’d started bleeding. Her and Kara had had a rough week, and Lena wasn’t really in the mood for therapy.

 

            “I don’t know,” Lena mumbled as she shrugged. Lillian let out a small sigh, turning to look at her daughter, giving her a disapproving look.

 

            “She’s spending far too much time worrying about everyone else, and not looking after herself,” Lillian told Megan, and Lena shot her a dark look.

 

            “I’ve gone back to work. I’ve moved in with my fiancée. I’m going to therapy twice a week. Things are getting better. What else do you want from me?” Lena snapped, and Lillian sighed again.

 

            “Well, Lena, how would you say things are better?” Megan asked.

 

            Letting out a sigh, Lena shrugged again. “I don’t know. Like I said, I’ve taken back my position as CEO over the past week. Kara’s getting the help she needs, so I feel … less worried about her getting better. We’re both getting a bit more sleep, so I feel like I’m in a better mood.”

 

            Lillian scoffed at the last part and Lena scowled at her. “Well, I’m sensing some anger off you today. Would you like to tell me where that might be coming from?” Megan asked.

 

            “I-, well, I guess I’m in a better mood _sometimes_ ,” Lena admitted. “The last week has been … difficult, but it’s getting better. I just feel a bit … I don’t know, frustrated maybe, whenever things seem to be going backwards again. They _are_ getting better though, but Kara still has her bad days.”

 

            “So this is mostly to do with your romantic relationship, rather than with your mother?” Megan asked, shifting in her seat as she looked at Lena and Lillian.

 

            Lena shrugged, looking at Lillian. “I guess so. Things are the same between us. I’m very grateful towards my mom for running the business for me, and she’s been very helpful throughout the whole … _thing_ with Kara.”

 

            “And Lillian, are you happy with the way your relationship has changed over the past few months?”

 

            Lillian smiled slightly at Lena. “I am. I think that we grew a lot closer, but I wish that it hadn’t been under the circumstances that it was. I feel like … well, Lena was dependent on me, and it was nice to feel needed – to be a real mother to her – but at the same time, it was difficult. I think that since Kara’s come back she’s bottled too much of that grief up, and I’m concerned about that. Otherwise, I think that our relationship has never been stronger. Coming here every week for therapy has also let me get to know Kara better, which I think has made things easier too.”

 

            “Lena, is there anything you’d like to say to that?” Megan prompted.

 

            “I-I don’t want to talk about my grief,” Lena murmured, crossing her arms over her chest as she frowned down at the floor. That was one thing that still bothered her, because while Kara seemed to be making small progress, they hadn’t talked about those two weeks. They hadn’t talked about what they’d both been through, and Lena could understand why Kara wouldn’t want to, so she kept her own pain hidden away too, because she didn’t want to burden Kara with it if she didn’t want to talk about it.

 

\---

 

            After therapy, Lena and Lillian made their way to the restaurant that Lillian had booked for lunch. Sometimes Kara would join them, but today she was spending time with Alex while Lena had some alone time with her mother. They were shown to a small table at the back, away from most of the other diners, and Lena wearily flopped down into her seat.

 

            “So, how’s work?” Lillian asked, giving the menu a onceover. Lena sighed quietly, sitting up straight.

 

            “It’s okay. The same as ever,” Lena told her with a small shrug.

 

            Lillian gave her an exasperated look. “Yes, I know what the work is like, but how are you doing being back?”

 

            “Fine,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “I leave when everyone else leaves, so I’m not there too late. Kara seems to think it’s good for me to leave her alone sometimes, and get out of the apartment. If she’s happy then I’m okay with it.”

 

            “That’s no way to have a relationship, Lena,” Lillian tutted, pursing her lips with disapproval.

 

            “What? By leaving my fiancée home alone if she’s okay with it? Should I force her to come to work with me?” Lena snorted, glancing down at the menu.

 

            “No, I mean, you _should_ be getting back into a normal routine of things. Kara knows that, but you can’t just give in to what she wants if you’re not okay with leaving her alone all day,” Lillian explained.  “You probably spend more time worrying that working. You should tell her you don't want to go back to work full-time if she's going to be home alone all day. She's still getting better, I don't think she would object to you ___not_ leaving her alone, considering the past few months. I know you both need your space, but you need to be honest with what you want. You need to think of yourself too, Lena.”

 

            “She wants to act like nothing happened,” Lena admitted, furrowing her forehead as she frowned in concern. “She’s acting like she never left, or didn’t almost die. I don’t want to force her to confront it. She’s already going to therapy twice a week, which is better than I thought, and she’s only doing that because I forced her to do that.”

 

            Lillian nodded, looking thoughfully at Lena. “She missed out on a lot of things while she was gone. She can’t pretend that a huge chunk of her life just didn’t happen – not just the two weeks she was missing, but all those months she was gone. Doesn’t she watch all the films and TV shows she missed when she away? Perhaps you could try something like that to help her come to terms with the fact that she _did_ leave.”

 

            Lena scoffed, rolling her eyes at Lillian. “What, should I just buy a copy of every newspaper that was printed for a day she was gone so she can catch up on the not so current affairs.”

 

            “There’s no need for sarcasm, Lena,” Lillian huffed. “I’m just trying to help you. She’s not going to open up to you until she’s ready, and if she’s still insiting on pretending like she didn’t leave then maybe you should try and gently remind her. Things are different now.”

 

            “Maybe you’re right,” Lena murmured, a plan already forming in her mind.

 

            The rest of lunch passed by in pleasant conversation, and Lena asked Lillian’s opinion on a few of the projects that had been approved while she’d been gone. They had been working together over the past few weeks so that Lena could take over the company again as smoothly as possible, and Lena had to admit that she was impressed with the work her mom had been doing – it perfectly followed along with the half-finished plans Lena had left behind.

 

            After lunch Lena drove Lillian to the airport, and before she left she handed Lena a pile of research for Kara, and another reminder to bring Kara to Metropolis at some point. With a quick hug goodbye, Lena left her mom to catch her flight and went to put her new plan into motion.

 

\---

 

            “Well, I don’t know, maybe moving would be a good idea.” Kara’s voice floated down the hallways towards Lena as she struggled in with an armful of bags.

 

            Then came Alex’s voice. “It’s a good promotion offer. I thought I would just transfer offices, not be promoted, so it was better than I could have imagined. Maggie was just pissed that I didn’t tell her, and that I haven’t turned it down yet. I’m obviously going to though, so we’re all good now. Lena's stern little talking to seemed to knock some sense into her. It was a rash decision on my part anyway, I wasn't serious.”

 

            “Why? It’s a good opportunity, Alex!”

 

            “Kara, your career caused problems for your relationship, so you shouldn't be _encouraging_ me. You’re right though, it is a good opportunity, but I don’t think I could move to Metropolis right now.”

 

            “I could. I wish I could start over somewhere new.”

 

            Lena shut the door, announcing her arrival, and made some loud noise as she walked down the hallway. Their conversation had cut off at the sound of the door shutting, and when Lena reached the end of the hallway she was greeted by two smiles. Plastering a smile on her own face, Lena set the bags down on the kitchen floor, before shrugging out of her coat and walking over to Kara.

 

            Kissing her on the cheek, Lena smiled at Kara. “Hi. Good day?”

 

            “Mhm, completely boring and uninteresting,” Kara told her, and Alex rolled her eyes. “What’ve you been buying? How was therapy?”

 

            “Um, you’ll find out later, and therapy was as teidious as always,” Lena sighed. “Tea?”

 

            “Yes please,” Alex said, reaching out for her and Kara’s empty cups and handing them over to Lena. Walking into the kitchen, Lena carried on the conversation as she boiled some water.

 

            “My mom gave me more of her research for you,” Lena said, catching a flicker of interest run over Kara’s face.

 

            “Did she say when I could start working with her?” Kara asked.

 

            Lena paused slightly, because she knew that the only reason Lillian hadn’t given into Kara’s begging to start work was because she knew that Lena wouldn’t approve. If Lena had it her way Kara wouldn’t start working for another few months, but at the same time, it was one of the few things that sparked an interest in Kara. Lena loved to lay there and listen to Kara read out the articles and research that Lillian brought along with her every week – to hear the wonder and excitement in her voice as she talked about the biological science behind Lillian’s work. Lena wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep her away from her mother’s labs – not that she was doing it to be mean, but she was concerned that it would be too much for Kara at this point.

 

            “No, she hasn’t mentioned it,” Lena answered honestly, because it was true that Lillian hadn’t mentioned it – she knew her daughter well enough to know that if she brought it up there would be an argument. After everything, Lillian didn’t want to jeopardise their relationship over Kara again.

 

            “Oh, okay,” Kara sighed, her head disappearing from over the back of the sofa as she flopped back down against the pillows to stare at the ceiling and lose herself in her thoughts.

 

            Alex didn’t stay long after she drank her tea, but Lena watched her carefully with slightly narrowed eyes, wondering if she would bring up the conversation they’d been having when Lena walked in. Apparently not, because as she drained her cup, she stood up, kissing her sister on the top of the head before she went home to Maggie.

 

\---

 

            Kara had holed herself up in the office, using the computer to look up the references for Lillian’s research, and Lena took that time to set up her plan, hoping that Kara wouldn’t breeze through it quickly. Luck seemed to be with Lena, because the office door remained shut, and as Lena quietly answered the door for the food, she figured that she’d have to go and interrupt Kara.

 

            Opening the office door slowly, Lena heard her mom’s voice coming from the phone that was on loudspeaker. Kara listened intently as she focused on the computer screen and the pieces of paper she held in her hand. As Lena opened the door wider, Kara looked up and gave her a small smile.

 

            “Hey,” Lena said, smiling back at her. “Hi mom.”

 

            Breaking off mid-sentence, Lillian replied. _“Hi sweetheart. Sorry, am I keeping you from dinner?”_

 

            “Um, yeah, kind of,” Lena admitted.

 

            “It’s fine, we haven’t decided on what we’re having yet,” Kara said, before looking at Lena. “Um, do you want to order in, or should we cook?”

 

            “The food’s already sorted,” Lena said, trying not to look excited, otherwise Kara would get suspicious.

 

            “Oh, okay. Um, Lillian, is it okay if we continue this tomorrow?” Kara asked, neatly piling the paperwork together and tapping it on the desk so that the edges all lined up.

 

 _“Of course. I’ll email you copies of the articles for what I just explained. Enjoy your night,”_ Lillian said.

 

            “Thank you, you too,” Kara said.

 

            “Bye mom,” Lena called.

 

_“Bye honey.”_

 

            “Are you wearing the Christmas sweater I knitted you? It’s June, Lena,” Kara snorted as she took in Lena’s clothing choice.

 

            “Never mind that,” Lena said, waving away Kara’s comments.

 

            Lena hovered in the doorway while she waited for Kara to pack everything up. A few minutes later, she stood up from behind the desk and walked towards Lena. “So, what’s for dinner? Did you order or cook? Because if you cooked you should’ve told me and I would’ve come and given you a hand.”

 

            Lena laughed as she took Kara’s hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “I ordered in, but I wanted to do something nice for you. It’s, um, not a _normal_ dinner.”

 

            “What do you mean not normal?” Kara asked, sounding confused as Lena pulled her out of the office. Lena led Kara out into the main area of the apartment, and gestured towards the table. There were red roses everywhere as well as birthday balloons and candles, and for some reasons there was a little Christmas tree and a turkey too. Athena was laying near the table with a dog’s Santa costume on.

 

            “I told you that when you got home we were going to celebrate everything you missed. So here’s an anniversary, birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s and New Years dinner. With the appropriate food for the most part – although we have some Chinese takeaway too, just because, although I guess you technically missed Chinese New Year too, so I guess it counts,” Lena explained as she rambled.

 

            Kara let out a laugh of wonder as she looked at the table. “It’s amazing, thank you.”

 

            “You like it?” Lena asked with a hopeful look on her face. Kara leant down to give her a quick kiss.

 

            “I love it. I love you,” she assured Lena. “Now, where do we begin?”

 

            Lena smiled as she pulled Kara’s chair out for her and helped her in and the went over to the counter to pick up a few things. “Okay, so here’s your party hat, some New Year’s Eve party glasses, and Christmas crackers.”

 

            “Jesus, okay,” Kara laughed. “Wait, can I get my camera?”

 

            Lena picked it up off the counter and snapped a photo of Kara smiling. “Already got it. Now quick, before the food gets cold.” Lena had bought a roast chicken and had ordered in vegetables, Chinese food, and a dozen kinds of finger foods from various takeaway places. For dessert she’d bought a birthday cake, but that was a surprise for later on. Putting on some Christmas music, Lena sat down at the table and poured them both a glass of wine as she smiled at Kara. Holding the glass up, Lena hesitated for a second before smiling again. “Happy anniversary, birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s and New Years.”

 

            “Yes, happy anniversary, birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentine’s and New Years,” Kara laughed, clinking her glass against Lena’s.

 

            They both talked as they ate, laughing and taking photos with Kara’s camera, and Lena didn’t even scold Kara when she fed Athena scraps at the table. It was ridiculous and hilarious with their party hats, paper Christmas crowns from the crackers that Lena hadn’t let them break because of the loud noise, and Kara balancing a pair of the cheap New Year’s Eve party glasses on top of her real ones. The flicker of the candles somehow made the whole thing romatic though, which was kind of the point with the roses and the chocolate covered strawberries, but it made things a bit less cheesy. After they’d eaten as much as they could Lena got up and went to change the music to something else, before walking over to Kara and pulling her out of her seat.

 

            “What’re you doing?” Kara asked, looking amused as Lena pulled her into the open space next to the table and put one hand on Kara’s waist as she clutched the other in her hand.

 

            “I believe that I once exposed myself as a ballroom dancing master in your mother’s kitchen and you made me promise you we’d go dancing sometime,” Lena smiled. “Well, it’s no ball, but I always keep my promises.” Kara laughed as Lena span her around before pulling her close. Lena was just a few inches too short as they were pressed up against each other, but she tilted her head up as Kara’s lips came down on hers.

 

            They danced to song after song, laughing as Kara tripped over her own feet or stood on Lena’s toes, until eventually they weren’t dancing, they were just swaying, and Lena had her head on Kara’s shoulder with her eyes closed. “I’ve missed this,” she whispered.

 

            “Me too,” Kara mumbled, and Lena smiled slightly as she felt Kara’s warm lips against her forehead. Pulling back, Lena tucked Kara’s hair behind one ear – it was already starting to grow out again and Lena had to admit that it suited Kara more than she’d thought it would when she’d walked in to see her holding a chunk of her hair in her hand. Leaning up to lightly touch her lips against Kara’s, Lena let go of her and took a step back.

 

            “Sit down, I’ll be back in a second,” Lena ordered Kara, who sank into her seat with an amused look on her face. Lena rummaged around in the fridge for a moment before pulling out the birthday cake she’d picked up, and after poking a few candles in it, she lit them and walked around to stand in front of Kara, who groaned loudly. Crouching down in front of her, Lena started to sing happy birthday – slightly off-key, but that didn’t matter – and reached for the camera to snap a photo of Kara blowing the candles out.

 

            Cutting two slices of cake, Lena and Kara slowly ate their cake, eyeing each other from across the table. The candles were definitely helping build tension because Lena ached to reach across the table and pull Kara into a rough kiss and Lena didn’t want to sound vain, but it looked like Kara was thinking the same thing. Slowly eating the last bite, Lena smirked at Kara as she arched one eyebrow, and Kara narrowed her eyes slightly.

 

            “I know what you’re doing,” Kara said in a sing song voice, sounding amused, and Lena gave her a small shrug, plastering an innocent look on her face.

 

            “And what’s that?” Lena asked, standing up with her empty plate. She walked around the table to reach for Kara’s, but was stopped by Kara’s hand circling her wrist and taking the plate out of her hand, abandoning it on the table.

 

            Kara stood up, so close to Lena that she had to look down. “Dinner. Flowers. And let me check,” Kara whispered in Lena’s ear as her hands lifted the bottom of the sweater and pulled it over Lena’s head. Kara laughed as she looked down. “And the lingerie. Your classic seduction technique. Are you trying to seduce me again?”

 

            “I wouldn’t call it seducing you,” Lena laughed, one hand gripping the collar of Kara’s shirt. “That makes it sound like you’re not already interested, or that it’s going to take some persuasion, and I’m hoping neither of those statements are true.”

 

            Smiling, Kara leant down to extinguish the candles before they accidentally let them burn down the apartment while they were otherwise occupied. Plunging them into darkness, Lena felt Kara’s arms wrap around her waist as she lifted her up, and Lena let out a squeal of laughter as she was hoisted over Kara’s shoulder. “Come on then,” Kara laughed, blinding walking in the direction of the bedroom.

 

\---

 

            “Are you okay?” Lena asked, trailing her fingers up and down Kara’s back. The curtains were still open and pale moonlight streamed in, illuminating Kara’s pale back as she faced away from Lena. She’d been fine, laying in Lena’s arms as their breathing slowed down, and then she’d suddenly rolled away from her and hadn’t said a word since.

 

            At Lena’s question, she let out a quiet sigh, before rolling onto her back and staring up at the ceiling. Taking a deep breath, she started to talk. “It was late. Our patrol took hours, and it was cold. I don’t think people realize how cold the desert can get at night time. We-“

 

            “Kara,” Lena whispered, cutting her off.

 

            “I-I want you to know,” Kara said. “Things have been getting a bit easier. I-I know that last week has been … difficult. I thought we were taking a step in the right direction, but it’s still hard. I think talking … telling someone might help. Even just a little. And I know you have things to say too, but I-, well, I’d like to go first.”

 

            “Okay,” Lena murmured. She didn’t move closer to Kara; she didn’t want to touch her in case Kara didn’t want her to. Instead, Lena lay there on her back, listening to Kara talk.

 

            “W-we finished our patrol. We were heading back through the foothills, and it was so quiet. I was thinking about you; about h-how I’d be home in two weeks. You would think you could hear sounds for miles around in that quiet, but I-I didn’t hear anything, and then it was so _loud_. The first bomb hi-hit, right in front of our jeep, and the car flipped. I was too shocked to move for a second. One of m-my soldiers, Patterson, was next to me. I pulled her out with me – I think she was in shock. There were grenades everywhere, it was all so loud, and it hurt my eyes behind the goggles. I shot at anything that moved, I don’t know if I hit anyone, I don’t know if I … but then I got knocked off my feet again – I think that’s when I broke my ribs. Wilson was there, h-he was still alive then, but he couldn’t walk. I dragged him away from the fight, because at least then he would be safe. By that point most of us were dead; they had _so_ many grenades. I went back in to find more of them, and that’s when I found Matthews and sent him t-to Wilson. I found Altman then. I pulled her out of the wreckage and then we were hit again. Sh-she didn’t make it. And then they destroyed everything, so there was just the three of us, and we had no way of getting home. We found shelter in a cave; we patched each other up as best as we could, and then we took it in turns keeping watch. No one came. Wilson … he lasted four days. W-we left him there – made a cairn - and then I-I got Matthews to move. We walked for days, I didn’t know where w-we were going, I was exhausted and I didn’t care, but I-I knew I had to keep going. There was no food left; the water was about to run out. We just walked as far as we could – out of the foothills - and eventually they found us. At that point I-I didn’t care if it was rebels coming to kill us or if it was a rescue. I passed out before they even got to us. I-I thought about you every single moment. I’d promised, a-and so I came home.”

 

            She didn’t cry, but her voice would break occasionally, or her breathing would hitch on a word, and Lena knew that she was breaking inside. Reaching out slowly, Lena found Kara’s hand under the blanket and gently touched it, and when she didn’t pull back, Lena covered it with her own. It was a few minutes before Kara rolled over and buried her face into the crook between Lena’s neck and shoulder. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lena wrapped her arms around Kara. She wanted to cry, but Kara hadn’t cried, and even thought Lena’s heart broke for her, she wouldn’t fall apart when Kara was trying to keep it together.

 

            “I-I’m _so_ sorry,” Lena whispered, her voice shaking as she talked. She didn’t know what else to say. There were no words of comfort – there was nothing she could say that would make it right.

 

            “Tell me,” Kara mumbled into Lena’s shoulder, and it took her a moment to realize that Kara wanted to hear her story.

 

            “Um, well, I-I was home all day, and then I went out to get some things for when you came home,” Lena whispered, thinking back to that day a few months back. “I went upstairs to water my plants, and wh-when I came back down I saw Alex sat at the table. She scared the shit out of me - I didn’t realize at first – and then I did. I didn’t believe it; I didn’t _want_ to. I was convinced y-you were going to call at any moment. I fell to the kitchen floor and I started screaming. Alex crawled over to me, and we just _cried._ We cried all night, and I-I can’t remember half of it – but we didn’t move. Maggie was at work. She came over, and sh-she tried to make me go to hers. I couldn’t- and then my mom showed up. She didn’t know; she came in shouting about h-how I’d skipped therapy. And then she did, and she _held_ me. I let her hold me for the first time I-I could remember, and I _hated_ it. I hated that she was holding me because you were dead. Eliza came, and it was surreal, because my _mom_ was the only one holding it together. In that first week I just cried and screamed, and I was _so_ angry, and I tried running away. Y-your mom started making funeral arrangements; th-they’d told us there was no body. I went to your mom’s house; I couldn’t stay h-here. It was almost harder at your mom’s; I stayed in your room almost all day. I didn’t move. The only time I spoke was t-to lash out at my mom. I-I think I would’ve been content to never move again. The day of y-your fune- … Alex gave me the letter you left, and I went anyway. I stayed behind after … I don’t remember much of the service, but it was good, I think. I stayed and read your letter and then I walked home in the rain. I was soaking wet a-and freezing and numb when I got to yours. I was broken. And then your mom told me that they … they f-found you. I was so mad. I was angry and I didn’t believe her, because how could I? I’d just sat at your _grave_ , screaming for you to come back, and then I was being told that you _were_. W-we got to the airport and then we finally got to the hospital. I couldn’t come in. I regret it now, but at the time all I could think was that what if it wasn’t you? I couldn’t go through that again.”

 

            Lena was silent, jerking back as she felt hot tears drip onto her shoulder. Realising that Kara was crying, she settled back down, burying her face in Kara’s hair as she held her tightly. “I’m s-so sorry,” Kara cried, her voice muffled by Lena’s shoulder. “I-I put you through hell. I never meant-, I’m sorry.”

 

            “It wasn’t your fault,” Lena said, her voice coming out a little hoarse. “Don’t apologise for it. Y-you dragged yourself bleeding and starving through a desert, and I … I fell to pieces and I gave up on you. I should be apologizing. If I’d known-“

 

            “I know,” Kara mumbled. “That’s why I had to-, that’s why I fought.”

 

            “You’re safe now,” Lena whispered, kissing the top of Kara’s head. She shivered slightly as Kara let out a breathless sob against her neck.

 

            “Safe.”


	73. Chapter 73

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight change of plan. I thought some things through and actually planned for once, and instead of a lot of jumping through time in different chapters, the fic will be finished sooner, but the epilogue will be longer than planned. So, we're almost there!

            Lena came home from work early one afternoon, exhausted from a lack of sleep the night before and an endless day of business meetings. Things between Lena and Kara had been a little bit easier, having finally talked about those two weeks, and it made Lena feel like things were getting better. She didn’t expect that to mean that Kara would be fine all of a sudden, but still, she was surprised when she came home to see Kara sat at the dinner table doing nothing. She was just starting at the wall. There was that blank expression and vacant look in her eyes that Lena had come to associate with Kara’s more difficult days. Kara jumped as Lena softly called her name, quickly standing up and plastering a smile on her face. If Lena hadn’t just walked in and seen Kara looking completely disinterested in anything, she would’ve assumed that she was fine.

 

            Setting her keys and bag down on the counter, Lena hesitantly walked towards Kara. “Is- is everything okay?” she asked, looking concerned.

 

            Smiling, Kara met her halfway and leaned in for a kiss. “Yeah, I’m fine. I was just … thinking.”

 

            “Is there anything you need to talk about?” Lena asked, cupping Kara’s face and stroking her cheekbone as she looked into her eyes. There was a flicker of something there, but it was gone before Lena could figure out what Kara was thinking.

 

            “No,” Kara said, giving her a small smile. “No, I don’t think so. How was work? I wasn’t expecting you home so early.”

 

            “Work was … okay. The same as always I guess. I closed that deal with Norway,” Lena said, pressing a kiss to Kara’s cheek before pulling away.

 

            “Well done,” Kara said, giving her another smile, before she went and sat back down at the table. Resting her chin in one hand, Kara sat there, and Lena wasn’t sure if that was a signal for her to carry on talking or to say the conversation had finished. Pausing for a moment, Lena waited for Kara to move, to speak, to do anything, and when she didn’t, Lena let out a sigh.

 

            “Pack a bag,” Lena told her, and Kara looked at her with surprise.

 

            “What?” Kara asked, her eyebrows slightly raised.

 

            “Pack a bag. We’re going away for a few days,” Lena said, walking towards their bedroom as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. Making a quick call, she organized for her plane to be readied as soon as possible, and set about shoving some clothes into a bag. Kara followed her in, and Lena grabbed some of her things out of their closet and handed them to Kara.

 

            “Where are we going?” Kara asked, frowning slightly.

 

            Lena gave her a wry smile. “It’s time for you to see where I grew up.”

 

\---

 

            On the way to the airport Lena made a few calls; first to Alex so she didn’t worry, then to her mother to let her know, and then to Jess to cancel any appointments Lena had that couldn’t be managed over the phone. By the time they reached the airport, everything was settled, and Kara was curious about seeing Lena’s childhood home.

 

            It was still early when they landed in Metropolis, and sunset was still a while away thanks to the long summer nights. The waiting car carried the two of them and the dog out of the city limits, and Kara stared out the window, watching the suburbs give way to the countryside. “How far out of the city do you live?” Kara asked, as the outlying neighbourhoods gave way to acres of land.

 

            “Put it this way; if someone tried to kill you in the house, no one would hear you for miles around,” Lena laughed. “The closest neighbours are a fifteen minute drive away.”

 

            “Oh. Of course,” Kara murmured. “So it’s a big house then? Like I know you showed me when we video called, and it looked _really_ big, but is it really _that_ big?”

 

            Lena snorted with laughter. “It’s probably bigger.”

 

            “Jesus,” Kara muttered to herself, and Lena was a bit nervous that it would throw Kara off. Of course she knew that Lena was rich, but Lena hadn’t given her an exact figure of her family’s wealth, and Lena liked to think she was a little more modest than the rest of her family. Her family’s estate was the exact opposite of modest.

 

            Pulling up to the roughtiron gates, they parted to let the car through, and Lena saw Kara shift in her seat with anticipation. Biting back a smile, Lena reached out to thread her fingers through Kara’s and give her hand a quick squeeze. The trees flew past, creating a wall of green as they wound their way up the driveway. Eventually, they came upon the sprawling house, and Kara let out a small gasp while Lena quietly laughed.

 

            “No way,” Kara said, her eyes wide as she turned to face Lena.

 

            Shrugging self-consciously, Lena grimaced slightly. “A big house doesn’t make a happy family.”

 

            “Are you sure you want to come here? I know things are easier for you now, but I know you’re not too fussed on the place,” Kara said, a crease forming between her eyebrows as she looked at Lena with concern.

 

            Lena let out another quick laugh, squeezing Kara’s hand. “I’m sure. I thought it would be nice to get out of the city for a couple of days. Plus, my mom keeps asking me to visit again – it’s been a few months. I’m not opposed to a few days at home, and I’m remembering more good things the more often I come back.”

 

            “Okay, but if you want to go home just let me know,” Kara said, raising their joined hands and kissing the back of Lena’s hand.

 

            “I’m sure that won’t be necessary, especially when you’re here this time to help make some happy memories,” Lena told her as the car came to a stop. The driver got out and opened the door on Kara’s side. Giving her a smile, and another quick squeeze of her hand, Lena motioned for Kara to get out. “After you.”

 

            Athena hopped out and went sniffing around the graveled driveway as Kara climbed out of the car. Lena slid out after her, and leaving the driver to fetch their bags, Lena took Kara’s hand and led her up the front steps. The door opened a few moments after Lena knocked, and Lillian smiled warmly as she took in the sight of them.

 

            “Hi mom,” Lena said, letting Lillian give her a hug. “Sorry for the late warning, it was kind of spontaneous.”

 

            “Nonsense,” Lillian waved away her apology. “You know I’d love to get you here more often. Besides, I’ve been asking you to bring Kara for weeks.”

 

            Lena bit back a groan, because she’d avoided bringing that up with Kara, figuring that she should let her settle in back home before bringing her somewhere unfamiliar – especially with the nightmares and panic attacks. “Oh, you have?” Kara asked, shooting Lena an accusing look. “ _Someone_ conveniently forgot to mention that.”

 

            “I was waiting for the right time,” Lena mumbled, walking inside.

 

            Kara sighed behind her. “Thank you for having me, Lillian. Your home is incredible,” Kara said as Lillian waved her inside.

 

            “Thank you. Please, make yourself at home. Can I get you anything to eat or drink?” Lillian asked. The driver deposited their bags inside the door, and Lena whistled for Athena to come as she picked them up.

 

            “I’ll just take our bags upstairs,” Lena said, heading towards the staircase. “I’ll be back in a second. I’ll show you around.”

 

            Leaving Kara alone with her mom, Lena made her way upstairs, dumping their bags in her room, before wandering back downstairs. As she walked into the kitchen, she walked into the middle of the conversation and rolled her eyes. “Five minutes and you’re already talking about the research,” Lena snorted.

 

            “I have a lot of questions,” Kara said defensively, gesturing to the coffee cup on the counter. Lena’s eyes lit up at the sight of it – she hadn’t had coffee in months, and she would probably be a bit jittery from the caffeine, but she didn’t care. Sitting down at the table, Lena took a sip and raised her eyebrows.

 

            “Well don’t let me stop you,” Lena said, smiling slightly.

 

            “What about the tour?” Lillian asked.

 

            Lena rolled her eyes. “We have all night for a tour, mom. Although the gardens look nice at sunset.”

 

            “I was just asking your mom when I can start work,” Kara smiled at Lena, who bit back a grimace. She met her mom’s gaze and Lillian cocked an eyebrow at her, and Lena narrowed her eyes slightly in return.

 

            Turning to face Kara, Lillian hesitated slightly. “I just-, I’m not sure how it would work with you being in National City. It might take some time to set up a lab there.”

 

            Lena let out a small groan, and Kara and Lillian both looked at her. “Just let her help, mom.”

 

            “But I-,” Lillian said, and Lena closed her eyes for a moment.

 

            “I’m sure you can come up with a way to make it work,” Lena said, giving her a pointed look. Lillian smiled slightly, giving Lena a small nod.

 

            “Of course,” Lillian agreed, smiling at Kara. “I’ll organize things immediately.”

 

            Kara beamed at Lena, taking a sip of her own coffee, and Lena’s heart melted at the sight of her brilliant smile. If it was something that made her show any interest or enthusiasm, Lena wouldn’t deny her of it – not when Kara was still trying to overcome her PTSD. There was a twinge of guilt too, because Lena _had_ been denying Kara that, even though it had come from a place of love and concern.

 

            “Great!” Kara said excitedly. “I can’t wait to actually _do_ something.”

 

            “Ah, well, I think I’ll ease you into it,” Lillian said slowly, her eyes flickering to Lena for a moment. “But I’ll be happy to have your help.”

 

            “Okay, enough business,” Lena said, draining her coffee. “Let’s get the tour out of the way.” Standing up, she reached a hand out to Kara, and after giving Lillian a quick smile, Kara took it and let Lena drag her out to the gardens.

 

            After a quick tour outside, they sat on the patio and watched the sunset over the top of the trees and the hedges of the maze. It was warm outside, and the sound of the countryside filled their ears, and neither of them moved until it was pitch black outside. Leading Kara back inside, Lena gave her a tour around the downstairs and then they snaked their way through the upper floors, ending up in Lena’s room. Kara took in the bare room but didn’t comment on the lack of personal belongings, knowing that Lena had taken everything with her when she’d left home. It didn’t seem so lonely to Lena now, it was just a reminder that she’d moved on, and hadn’t left herself behind in the house.

 

            Flopping down on the bed, Kara stared up at the ceiling. Lena scrambled onto the bed next to her, and they lay there in silence, staring up at the ceiling until Lillian’s faint voice wafted upstairs, calling them down for dinner.

 

\---

 

            Lena snuck out of bed early the next morning, tiptoeing out of the room as quietly as possible so that she didn’t wake Kara up. She shut herself into her mom’s study and stole some stationary, quickly scribbling on the paper. Finishing the letter, she slipped it inside an envelope and sealed it, before heading downstairs. Slipping out into the garden, Lena plucked a pink rose from one of the bushes and disappeared into the maze.

 

            She was just heading back upstairs when Kara appaeared at the top, stifling a wide yawn. Smiling, Lena walked up the last few steps to kiss her good morning. “How did you sleep?” she asked, stroking Kara’s cheek.

 

            “No nightmares,” Kara said with a small smile. “You did wake me up though. Sleep talking again.”

 

            “Oh god,” Lena mumbled, flushing red with embarrassment as she started walking back downstairs with Kara. “What did I say this time?”

 

            “Something about aliens having big eyes because of the humans on Mars. The Egyptains know, apparently. You didn’t tell me _what_ they know, but you seemed pretty convinced that they knew something,” Kara laughed.

 

            Lena groaned as she put her head in her hands. “Sorry for waking you.”

 

            “It’s fine,” Kara smiled at her, reaching out to brush Lena’s hair out of her face. “The last thing you said was that you loved me. I’m glad to know that even when you’re asleep you still know I’m there.”

 

            “I’d know you anywhere,” Lena said, giving her a smile. They walked into the kitchen, finding Lillian’s chef already cooking breakfast. Sitting down at the table, they were served a huge breakfast, and they talked as they ate, deciding what to do for the day. After they finished eating, they went upstairs to get changed, and Lena wondered what Lillian was busy working on as they passed her office.

 

            Showered and dressed, Lena casually asked Kara if she’d like to go outside – the weather _was_ nice, after all. Kara enthusiastically agreed, excited about the prospect of exploring the grounds of the estate, and Lena led the way as they went downstairs. Immediately, Kara’s eyes landed on the maze.

 

            “Can I go in it?” she asked Lena, a spark of determination in her eyes. Lena smiled, giving her a gentle push in the direction of the opening, and Athena bolted after Kara and disappeared into the maze with her. She’d known the first thing Kara would want to do was make it through the maze, which was why Lena had decided to leave the letter there.

 

            It only took Kara five minutes to make it to the centre and back out, and Lena smiled as she reemerged from the opening with the letter in one hand and the rose lifted to her nose as she smelt it. Lovingly looking at Lena, Kara walked over to her and sat down at the garden table, holding the unopened letter in her hands.

 

            “The rose is beautiful,” Kara said, twirling the flower in her hand.

 

            “Aren’t you going to open the letter?” Lena asked, one corner of her mouth tugging up into a small smile.

 

            Kara looked up from the flower and gave her a smile. Her eyes crinkled at the corners and she held it out towards Lena. “I was hoping you would read it out to me.”

 

            Lena wrinkled her nose slightly, knowing that she was going to cringe at everything she’d written when the words were spoken out loud. Still, she took the letter off Kara and stood up, holding out her hand. They walked over to one of the trees near the lake at the back end of the garden, and sitting down, Lena leant against the tree. Kara sat down next to her, before stretching out and resting her head in Lena’s lap. Smiling down at her, Lena ran her fingers through Kara’s hair for a moment, before tearing open the envelope and pulling out the letter. With a sigh, Lena began reading it aloud.

 

            “To my dearest Kara,” Lena said, glancing down at Kara, who had her eyes closed and a small smile gracing her lips.

 

_It’s been a few months since the last letter I wrote you, and I know it’s because things have been all over the place, but I also promised that it wouldn’t be the last letter I’d write to you. I should probably start by saying how proud I am of you – for everything. As much as I hated it, you served your country and you did your job well; you saved a man’s life; you dragged yourself through hell; and now, you’ve worked so hard to overcome everything. More than anything, I’m grateful that you made it home. You deserve a lifetime of peace and happiness now - I hope that I can give you that._

_I hope you know just how much I love you, and I feel like words fail me here, because I can’t describe it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to put it into words – even if I knew every language ever created – but I hope you know it anyway. I know things have been difficult, moreso for you than me, but you’ve always been strong, and I think that that strength and bravery has been the thing that has pulled me through it. You make me a stronger person too, and I know that I would be a different person without you. Your warmth, love and happiness have affected me more than I could have thought. You always told me to let love in, and I know with all my heart that I couldn’t have let it in if it didn’t come from you, because you have shown me what it’s like to truly live and be loved. I’m not talking about crazy adventures or exploring the world – to me that’s not living. You gave me so many firsts, and you made me feel alive, and special and important. There’s so many things you’ve done for me that I’m not even sure you know about. I hope that one day I can repay you for all of that, because I want you to feel the way that you’ve made me feel._

_I won’t pretend that it’s been picture perfect though – those two weeks alone say it all – but our time together has been imperfectly perfect. We’ve been through more in fifteen months than most people do in a lifetime, and I think we’ve come out stronger because of it. I know for a fact that this is it for me. You are it for me. There’s no one else I could ever feel this way about – that must be reassuring, but I’m hoping you never doubted it – and I know that I’ll never let you go. You told me in the last letter you wrote me that you would always be with me, and I know for a fact that you are. Even though you came home, I know that you’re always with me, deep inside my heart. You wandered off with it and left your mark, and no matter where you are – whether it’s upstairs like you are now, or half a world away – I know that you’re here. More importantly, I know that you’re safe, and that’s the biggest relief of all._

_I know that there’s still a lot of things to work on to help you get back on your feet, and I know it’s frustrating for us both, but I know we’ll be okay. Nothing will ever tear us apart – not even death itself apparently. I want you to know that no matter what, in everything we do for the rest of our lives, I will be there right beside you. We still have so much to do together, and figure out together, and I can’t wait to do them all with you. I hope those days come quickly, because we’ve done enough waiting to last a lifetime, and I’m ready to start the rest of forever with you._

_Love always,_

_Lena x_

            She trailed off, folding the letter back up and looking down at Kara, who was staring straight back up at her with slightly teary eyes. Propping herself up on her elbows, Kara leant up to kiss Lena, who obligingly placed a lingering kiss on her lips. They were cut off by a splashing sound as Athena decided to chase a duck straight into the pond, and Lena and Kara laughed as they looked over at her.

 

            “Thank you,” Kara murmured a moment later, brushing Lena’s hair back as she leant up to press another kiss to her lips.

 

            “Thank _you_ ,” Lena said, smiling at her. “I don’t think I could’ve done any of this without you.”

 

            “Any of what?” Kara asked, frowning slightly.

 

            “Everything,” Lena said simply.

 

\---

 

            They spent the rest of the day outside, and Lena took Kara to the stables to see the horses, and they walked through the small thicket of trees deeper into the estate’s land, picking apples off the trees and piling them up in the improvised basket Kara made with the bottom of her shirt. It was almost dinner time when they finally made it back to the house. Lillian emerged from her office later on for dinner, before the three of them retired to the living room. Lena left Kara alone with her mom while she took a quick business call off Jess, deciding to make them all a fresh cup of tea while they spoke.

 

            As she came back to the living room, she paused outside the open door, still hidden from view as she balanced the three cups in her hands. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but she could hear Kara talking – sounding wistful – and Lena was curious as to what the conversation was about.

 

            “It’s incredible here,” Kara said, sighing softly. “I would kill to live somewhere like this. The house, the countryside, everything. It’s beautiful.”

 

            “Would you actually move away from National City?” Lillian asked.

 

            Kara let out a small laugh. “I mean, I moved _to_ National City at one point, and before that I moved to Midvale, so it’s not like it would be a new experience for me. I just … my sister is there, and I know she was thinking about moving here too, which would be perfect, but then Lena … I don’t know if she’d want to uproot the whole business again and move the headquarters back here. It’s not just here I’d move to specifically – I could live anywhere – but it is a nice city, so I _would._ It would make working for you a lot easier too. But I mean, we _met_ in National City, all of our memories are there, and I don’t know if she’d want to leave it all behind.”

 

            “I think that’s the first place she’s ever truly been happy,” Lillian admitted.

 

            “Mm, although she has said it’s not bad for her here anymore, and I’m glad for that,” Kara said. “She just-, I feel like she’s afraid to move quickly after everything that happened. We rushed into an engagement, and we made all kinds of promises because we didn’t think we’d have much time, and now we have all the time in the world. I _know_ she’s been the one getting you to hold off on me going back to work-“

 

            “She isn’t doing it to hurt you,” Lillian quickly interrupted, jumping to her daughter’s defence, and Lena smiled slightly – she’d never in a million years thought that this time last year her mother would be leaping to defend her.

 

            “I know,” Kara agreed. “She thinks I’ll be too overwhelmed with everything, and maybe she’s right, which is why I haven’t fought her on it … but I’d like us to do _more_. I just wish that we could plan for the future now. I _know_ she has all these wedding plans ready, she even told me so herself, but she won’t share them with me. I think she’s afraid that it’ll all be too much and I’ll have a breakdown.”

 

            “You really should take it slow,” Lillian said. “I’m not saying _don’t_ try and plan your future together, but the things you went through – whatever that may be – it’s going to take time, and you’ve made excellent progress, but still, take care of yourself, please.”

 

            “Of course I will, Lillian,” Kara laughed. “I wouldn’t take on more than I felt like I could. I just want to know where we’re going to get married, and where she wants us to raise our children. She said she wants two – two little girls. I want to know what names she likes, and if we’ll send them to ballet classes. And if we’ll get another dog, or maybe a cat instead. If she wants to move here; back to her home city.”

 

            “Goodness, that _is_ a lot to process. I’m sure there’ll be plenty of time to answer all of those questions when the time comes,” Lillian laughed.

 

            Kara softly sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. A lot of those things will be in the distant future, so there’s no rush. First things first is getting back to work, I think. We’ve already finished moving in, so that’s one thing ticked off my checklist.”

 

            “I think first things first is you taking care of yourself,” Lillian said, and Kara laughed.

 

            “You sound exactly like Eliza,” Kara told her, and Lillian laughed.

 

            “I might not have been the best mother towards Lena, but I was a mother to Lex,” Lillian sighed.

 

            “She’s forgiven you, you know,” Kara gently said Lena realized that she was right. Lena had never told herself that she’d forgiven her mom – in fact, she’d thought that she’d never be able to forgive her. Move on perhaps, and leave it in the past, but never forgive. Yet she _had_ , and Lena felt odd at the fact that she was stood outside the living room door in her childhood home, listening to her fiancée and her _mother_ had a conversation about her. It all felt a little surreal.

 

            “I know,” Lillian murmured. “I didn’t think she ever would, but I’m more grateful than she knows … and I love her more than she knows too.”

 

            After a few more minutes stood outside the door, Lena found the conversation turning away from her, and decided to make her entrance. Plastering a neutral, content expression on her face, Lena carefully carried the three cups in and handed two off to her mom and Kara, before taking a seat with her own. They watched TV and chatted for the rest of the evening, and when it started to get late, Lena insisted that it was time for bed. Saying goodnight to Lillian, they both made their way upstairs, and got changed into their pyjamas.

 

\---

 

            Kara was fast asleep when Lena slipped out of bed and made her way downstairs to the kitchen. She was pouring herself a glass of water, when her mom brought her empty teacup into the kitchen to dump it in the sink.

 

            “I thought you’d be asleep by now,” Lillian said as Lena shut the water off and took a sip. Leaning against the counter, Lena shrugged. “Do you need your sleeping pills?”

 

            “I’m fine, mom,” Lena said, rolling her eyes. “I just needed some water.”

 

            “Alright then,” Lillian said, giving Lena a wary look as if she could sense something wrong. “I need to talk to you about something.”

 

            “Oh?” Lena murmured, raising an eyebrow at her mom.

 

            “Come and sit down a minute,” Lillian told her, making her way over to the stools lining the kitchen counters. Lena hoisted herself up onto the one beside her mom and waited for whatever Lillian was about to say.

 

            “Kara wants to move,” Lillian said after a slight hesitation. “She wants to move on with her life – do all those things you planned – and one of those is potentially moving. Maybe even to here.”

 

            “I know,” Lena laughed slightly. “I heard you.”

 

            “You hear-, Lena! You were eavesdropping? You _know_ that’s rude,” Lillian scolded her, and Lena rolled her eyes.

 

            “I didn’t _mean_ to, I kind of just … did,” Lena shrugged. “So I guess you don’t have to tell me.”

 

            Lillian sighed, giving Lena and exasperated look. “That’s not what I was going to tell you.”

 

            “Oh, okay. Well what is it then?” Lena asked, frowning slightly.

 

            “I want to give you the estate,” Lillian said, and Lena blinked in surprise. “As a wedding gift. When you get married, obviously.”

 

            “What?” Lena said, disbelief colouring her voice. That wasn’t what she’d been expecting her mom to say at _all_.

 

            “The house. It’s yours when you get married. I’ll move out of course, but it’s the Luthor estate, and after you get married you might not be a Luthor by name, but it’s yours by right. You don’t have to live here if you don’t _want_ to, but it belongs to our family, and Kara likes it here, so if you want to, then the house is yours. I-I thought that maybe you could change the place for yourself. I know your opinion of the place _has_ changed a bit already, but I thought that one day, when you have kids, you could fill the place up with laughter and happiness, and make it into a proper home for yourself. Make it feel the way I couldn’t make it feel for you,” Lillian explained.

 

            “Oh,” Lena said softly. “I-, well, I don’t know what to say, mom.”

 

            “Don’t say anything. Talk things over with Kara first,” Lillian told her. “You have a lot of things she wants to discuss, as you heard.”

 

            “Yeah,” Lena mumbled. “Thank you, mom. I think … I think that could be good for us.”

 

            “I hope so,” Lillian said, cupping Lena’s cheek as she leant in and kissed her on the forehead. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

 

            “Goodnight, mom.”

 

            Walking back upstairs with her water, Lena turned the new information over in her head. This could be theirs – all of it. It could be the fresh start that Lena had overheard Kara talking about with Alex. It could be _their_ fresh start as a married couple. They would be buying their own home at some point anyway, and Lena knew Kara wanted somewhere big for when the eventually had children, and Lena didn’t think they’d find anywhere bigger than this. As she slipped back into her room, she set the glass on the nightstand and slid back into bed. Kara rolled over in her sleep and threw an arm across Lena, as if she’d been waiting for her to come back.

 

            Lena smiled as she wound her arms around Kara, holding her tightly. “I love you,” Lena whispered, and she smiled to herself as Kara breathed evenly, too deeply asleep to even hear her.


	74. Chapter 74

            All of Kara’s friends were home from their deployment, and for the first time since Kara had come back, they were having a game night so that Kara could spend time with her friends. She’d seen Winn when he’d gotten back last night, but James and Lucy had gone straight to their place in Metropolis when they’d come back next week, and were coming to town to visit. Lena had invited Roulette and Jess, and with Lucy, James and Winn, it was more of a party than they were all used to.

 

            The smile of Kara’s face when Lucy and James showed up made Lena’s heart soar; she was hoping that having people who could somewhat relate to Kara’s situation would help make things easier for her; even if only for one night.

 

            “I’ve missed you,” Lucy said, hugging Kara tightly as they both laughed.

 

            “I’ve missed you too! It’s been so long,” Kara said, pulling away to throw her arms around James next. “How are you both? I know we talk, but God, it feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

 

            “Glad to be home more than anything,” James smiled as Lucy came over to give Lena a hug. “I think the real question is how are you, Jukebox?”

 

            Kara rolled her eyes at the old nickname. “Better than ever.”

 

            “Right, because the last I saw of you was a block of stone with your name on it,” James said, raising his eyebrows slightly. “I’m glad that’s all over though, come here, tiny.” Kara laughed as she let James wrap her in another hug.

 

            “I wish we could’ve come home after finding out that you weren’t actually gone,” Lucy grimaced. “We used all our leave for the funeral though.”

 

            “I’m just glad to have you here now,” Kara beamed at them both. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to some of our other friends.”

 

            “Can I get you both a drink?” Lena asked them both, gesturing to the spread of alcohol on her kitchen counters. “We’ve got pizza coming for dinner too.” A few minutes later, the two of them were holding drinks while Kara introduced them to Jess and Roulette, and before long they were all chatting as if they were lifelong friends.

 

\---

 

            Lena hadn’t had a proper drink in months, and she was a bit cautious as she nursed her drink, keeping an eye on Kara to make sure she was okay. At the moment, she was talking to Roulette, and Lena groaned internally at the thought. Once things had settled back down into a normal routine, Lena had introduced the two of them, and she’d regretted it ever since, after all the embarrassing stories had started to come out. Lena was sure that they were talking about one of them now.

 

            “Alright, stop your talking, it’s time for Cards Against Humanity,” Alex said, picking up the stack of white cards as everyone gathered around the coffee table with their drinks. Dealing the cards, Alex flipped over one of the black cards as everyone collected their cards. There was a lot of arguing and debating over the course of the next hour, as people were accused of cheating or playing favourites.

 

            The game came to a finish, and Lena jumped up to get everyone refills. Maggie followed her to the kitchen, pinching a bottle of whiskey off the counter to fill up her own glass. “You good?”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes as she smiled slightly. “Just fine. You don’t have to keep checking up on me.”

 

            “Good. And I know, but that’s what family does,” Maggie said, pouring a glass of wine for Lucy. “How were things at your mom’s? Kara seems a little more … well, relaxed. I don’t know if that’s the right word, but has she been okay since?”

 

            “Yeah, she’s been good. Sometimes it’s frightening how fine she seems, I feel like she’s keeping things from me,” Lena said darkly, frowning slightly.

 

            Maggie scoffed slightly. “Keeping things from you? Like what?”

 

            “Like how she doesn’t want to stay here,” Lena blurted out.

 

            “What?” Maggie said with surprise. “Where does she want to go?”

 

            “Anywhere. Away from here. I overheard her talking to my mother, of all people,” Lena snorted. “I guess her and Alex have the same idea.”

 

            “Alex said she doesn’t want to move anymore, even though I told her we could if we actually planned it all out and didn’t just apply for a transfer because of grief,” Maggie shrugged. “I don’t think she would ever leave Kara though, especially not after that.”

 

            “Kara said the same thing,” Lena quietly laughed. “I think if she did want to move though, I wouldn’t blame her. I’d pack it all up in an instant. Would you?”

 

            “If she was serious? Of course I would,” Maggie said matter of factly. “I would give her the world if it would make her happy.”

 

            “So if they want to go then …?”

 

            Maggie gave Lena an amused smile. “Then I’d wager at least one of us is moving.”

 

            “What are you two whispering about?” Alex called, and Lena and Maggie both turned to look at her.

 

            “Just planning on how we’re going to kick your ass in Trivial Pursuit,” Maggie told her, giving her a smirk as she walked back over with some of the drinks.

 

            “Oh yeah?” Alex laughed as Maggie leant down to give her a quick kiss. “Well then I’ll have to beat you all at Monopoly before you start getting too cocky.”

 

            “Well you’ve never played against me,” Roulette smirked.

 

            “Please, you’re only good at poker,” Alex scoffed.

 

            Walking over with the rest of the drinks, Lena handed James and Winn theirs before sitting down next to Kara and handing her a glass. “I can guarantee you, if it’s a gambling game, you will have your ass handed to you by Ronnie, and me,” Lena laughed.

 

            “I’m kind of glad we’re not placing bets tonight,” James said, with a wide eyed look on his face as he looked between them all.

 

            Lucy laughed as she nudged James. “You better make sure Lena hasn’t spiked your drink, or you might end up betting the keys to our apartment before the end of the night.”

 

            “I don’t doubt it,” Winn snorted, taking a sip of his drink. “She could probably sell glasses to a blind man.”

 

            “Well, time for me to kick everyone’s asses. Kara, you can be on my team,” Lena said, “I need you for the science and sport questions.”

 

            “I’m on it,” Kara laughed, leaning her head on Lena’s shoulder for a moment, before the game started and everyone’s competitiveness flared up, and Kara snapped to attention, ready to win.

 

\---

 

            It was a late night, and everyone ended up staring in the various guest rooms, and Lena helped a slightly tipsy Kara into bed. Lena wasn’t sure that letting her drink had been the best idea, but Kara hadn’t had much, and she’d been enjoying herself so much that Lena trusted her to know how much to have. At any rate, Kara settled into bed as soon as her pyjamas were on and Lena crawled in next to her. With a soft sigh, Kara cuddled up behind Lena, and soon fell asleep.

 

            There was no scream, but not long later Lena jerked awake at the feeling of movement as Kara bolted upright. Scrambling out from under the covers, Lena struggled into an upright position, quickly resting a hand on Kara’s shoulder, which was rapidly moving up and down as she dragged in ragged breaths to calm herself down.

 

            “Hey, it was just a dream,” Lena murmured, blindly feeling in the dark so that she could cup Kara’s face in her hands. A warm hand covered her own and Lena felt Kara’s lips against her palm.

 

            “I’m okay,” Kara whispered, her voice trembling slightly. The sheets rustled as Kara slowly lay back down against the pillows and pulled the covers over herself. Lena lay back down beside her, staring blindly up at the ceiling as she listened to Kara’s breathing even out.

 

            “It was her this time,” Kara whispered after a minute of silence. Lena knew that she was talking about Altman – the woman that Kara had been dragging away when an explosion had gone off in front of them and killed her.

 

            “I know I’ve asked … but are you _sure_ you don’t want to go and visit Mike?” Lena hesitantly asked. She felt Kara turn to face her, even though it was too dark to see.

 

            “No,” Kara sighed. “We weren’t friends. We weren’t close. He always used to try and make me go on dates with him. I don’t think going through something like that with him means that we have to be close now. I mean, I don’t think it’ll help.”

 

            “Okay,” Lena whispered. She knew it was pointless to fight Kara on this, and Lena didn’t know him anyway, so it wasn’t her decision to make. Kara snuggled up closer to her, resting her head on Lena’s chest. Bringing her arms round to hold her close, Lena pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

 

            “Can you tell me another story or read a poem,” Kara murmured, and Lena smiled. Somehow, it’d become a ritual for Lena to hold her close whenever Kara woke up from a nightmare and talk until she fell back to sleep, which usually resulted in a poetry recital or story time.

 

            “Of course,” Lena said, kissing the top of her head. “Um … oh, I-I have one.” Kara made a small noise of encouragement, and Lena softly cleared her throat.

 

_“All along the garden path, silvery and bright, there’s a line where a snail took a walk last night._

_It came from the rockery for something to eat, and that would be its footprints if a snail had feet._

_Have you ever seen a snail, going for a walk, with its house on its back and its eyes on stalks?_

_Well, when its done it rolls them in its head, and goes inside its tiny house, and tucks himself in bed.”_

            Kara let out a quiet laugh as Lena came to the end of the poem. “Where did you get that one from?”

 

            “It’s something my dad used to sing to me at bedtime when I was younger,” Lena explained, shrugging slightly. “I’d almost forgotten about it. God knows where he got it from, but I used to love it whenever he would read me poems.”

 

            “I like it,” Kara murmured. She didn’t sound tired yet, so Lena started quietly reciting another poem, and then another, until Kara’s breathing slowed and Lena realized she was sleeping.

 

            It was slow going, but every day she could feel more of Kara returning to her, and Lena was grateful for the small progress she made. The small moments, like being wrapped up in each other’s arms with their poetry, was a big enough reward for Lena. Each small victory made the bad days feel worth it, and she knew that eventually the day would come when there would be more good days than bad.

 

\---

 

            The next morning, everyone gathered in the kitchen to help make breakfast, before they all squeezed around the table. It was a lively breakfast, even if a few people were nursing slight hangovers, and everyone laughed and talked as they ate. After breakfast, Alex and Maggie went home to go ready for the baseball game they’d bought tickets for. Roulette, Jess and Winn soon followed, going home to their own apartments, leaving Lucy and James behind.

 

            They spent the rest of the morning hanging around the apartment, and Lena did some paperwork while she contributed to the conversation. Mostly she listened to Kara catch up with everything she hadn’t been able to talk to her friends about over the phone, and it seemed like there was a lot that they hadn’t had the chance to talk about.

 

            “So, have you set the date for the wedding yet?” Lucy asked, and Kara smiled widely, glancing over at Lena, who looked up from her laptop and smiled back at her.

 

            “June the thirteenth, next year,” Kara excitedly told her, and Lucy launched into a lengthy conversation about their wedding plans, which were limited at this point. After a few minutes of giving his own input, James removed himself from the conversation and turned his attention to Lena’s work. As Lena explained the project she was filling the paperwork out for, James listened intently, seeming to prefer this topic to the wedding one.

 

            “I bet you had enough of this talk with your own wedding,” Lena said, giving him an amused look as she jerked her head at Kara and Lucy.

 

            James gave her a knowing look, and Lucy laughed as she turned to Lena. “Trust me, he loved every moment of it.”

 

            “I wanted to make sure everything was perfect for our special day,” James said, giving his wife a loving smile. “And it was.”

 

            “I bet you’ll be planning for kids soon,” Kara laughed.

 

            “Oh yeah, I’ve already got the baseball glove ready for little Jimmy,” James laughed, while Lucy rolled her eyes.

 

            “James is certain that we’re going to have a boy first,” Lucy said, giving them an exasperated look. “But that’s fine, I guess he’ll have the baseball glove ready for our little girl if we end up with a daughter.”

 

            “Personally, I’ve always preferred girls,” Kara said. “Just think, you can have a miniature Lucy, with that sharp lawyer’s wit and sharpshooting precision.”

 

            Lena laughed at the thought. “That sounds mildly terrifying and not entirely safe for a child. Honestly, I’d hate to imagine what Alex and Maggie will let their kids get up to.”

 

            “I think we’re all a bit nervous about that,” James agreed. “They’d be wielding knives before they could walk.”

 

            “And what about yours?” Lucy asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively as she smiled slightly.

 

            “Ah, well, we’d have little geniuses with Lena’s hair, my eyes and her smile, of course,” Kara laughed, turning to look at Lena. Her eyes crinkled behind her glasses, and Lena’s heart leapt at the sight – she hoped their child would have Kara’s smile. It wouldn’t be for a few years at least, but Lena was comforted by the fact that they had the rest of their lives ahead of them.

 

\---

 

            The four of them went out for dinner that night, along with Winn, before they met up with Alex and Maggie at a bar. It was the first time Kara had been out on the nightlife scene since she’d come back, and Lena was hesitant at first because of the loud music and crowded room, but Kara was enjoying herself. Telling herself to stop worrying, Lena let herself relax and enjoy her cocktail as she listened to Kara and James debate the finer points of photography.

 

            As the night wore on, Lena saw Kara stifling a yawn and smiled slightly; it was time for them to go home. Kara might be having less nightmares, but even when she didn’t wake up screaming, she startled herself awake or slept fitfully. Either way, their lack of sleep caught up to them eventually, and Lena knew that Kara would be nodding off soon if they stayed out too late.

 

            Saying goodbye, the two of them took their leave, catching a cab back to their apartment. Kara groaned as she stumbled inside, wearily dragging herself through the apartment. Lena let out a quick laugh, following after her after hanging up their coats.

 

            “I’m aching _everywhere_ ,” Kara grumbled as she flopped down on the sofa.

 

            “How about a quick bath before bed?” Lena asked, and Kara shot up off the sofa with renewed vigour. Lena smiled as she walked towards the bathroom and ran the hot water, waiting for Kara to join her. Once the bath had filled enough, and was almost overflowing with bubbles, they both slipped into it, and relaxed in the warmth of the water.

 

            “So, I’ve been meaning to talk to you since we got back from my mom’s,” Lena slowly said, almost as if she was thinking each word over before she said them.

 

            “Hm? What about?” Kara said, opening her eyes and squinting at Lena as she tried to see without her glasses. Smiling, Lena leant forward to rub away the small crease between Kara’s eyebrows, before settling back against the edge of the bath.

 

            “I, uh, I overheard you talking to my mom,” Lena started, giving Kara a small shrug as she smiled slightly.

 

            Kara drummed her fingers on the edge of the bath as she sat there in silence for a few moments. “And, um, how much did you overhear exactly?”

 

            “Well I was eavesdropping … so the whole thing I guess,” Lena admitted and Kara let out a quick laugh.

 

            “Always so honest,” Kara mused. “Well you don’t have to worry because-“

 

            “My mom’s giving us the estate,” Lena interrupted, and Kara blinked in surprise. “When we get married. She said it’s the Luthor estate and it should stay in the family, and well, we’ll have our own family at some point so …”

 

            “The estate? As in your mom’s house? The huge mansion?” Kara spluttered.

 

            “That would be the one,” Lena said, giving Kara a wry smile. “So, it’s mine if I want it – well, ours – and if you want to move to Metropolis we can. I know you said you want a house with a big garden, and well, you’ve seen how big it is. The fresh start you’re looking for; I think we can find it there. It’s where L-Corp’s headquarters originated, it’s where my mom works, it’s got everything we could ever want.”

 

            “But do _you_ want to move?” Kara asked, her eyebrows knitting together.

 

            “I would go anywhere with you. I heard you say that my happiness is here, and that we have all these memories, but my happiness is wherever you are, and I have those memories inside my head, my heart _and_ in the hundreds of photos you’ve taken. Wherever you are, it’s where I want to be. We could move to Fiji and take up surfing, or go to Egypt and drink Koshary tea all day. We can go anywhere in the world and I’ll be happy because you’re there. It’s the people that make the place.”

 

            “You would really go if I wanted to?” Kara asked, a look of curiosity and hesitation on her face.

 

            Lena gripped the sides of the tub and pulled herself towards Kara, cupping her face and pressing a hard kiss to her lips. “I’d leave right now if you wanted to. Waiting until we’re married to move there might be a good idea though, it’ll give us time to wrap everything up here.”

 

            “You really mean it?” Kara asked, brushing away the wet locks of hair plastered to Lena’s cheek.

 

            “Of course,” Lena smiled. “There’s just one catch.”

 

            “Oh?” Kara questioned, raising one eyebrow as she waited for Kara to elaborate.

 

            “Alex is coming too,” Lena said with a smile.

 

            Kara laughed, leaning in to kiss Lena. “Yes, she seemed very keen to move. I guess she can reapply for that promotion there, if Maggie’s okay with it.”

 

            “Trust me, Maggie’s fine with it,” Lena assured her.

 

            “Well I guess we’d better start planning our wedding,” Kara said, her eyes lit up with love and happiness.


	75. Chapter 75

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So close to the end. I can almost feel the tears I'm going to shed when this story finally finishes. This chapter wasn't originally part of the plan, but I felt like I owed it to you.

            They planned for a year.

 

            There were arguments and debates over every little detail, but they eventually agreed on everything. Or compromised at least, because why did they _really_ need ten thousand peonies, Lena? A thousand would be enough. And why did they need to invite everyone they knew, Kara? The whole office didn’t need to come. But eventually, it was all planned, and dresses were picked, venues were rented and chefs were hired.

 

            It was a busy year, but looking back on things it had been a good one. If it wasn’t for the little scar on Kara’s abdomen from the scrap of metal that had pierced her side, it would be impossible to know what she’d been through. That year had been full of small steps of recovery, and then big ones, until she slept through the night almost every night, and she slammed a cupboard shut without wincing as a flashback came on. Lena learnt to relax during that time, because Kara wasn’t going anywhere anymore, and she was safe, and better than ever.

 

            The first big change was Kara going to work with Lillian. It started once a week, because Lena had suggested that instead of Lillian coming to therapy in National City, they should move it to Metropolis. They spent their Thursday’s catching an early flight into the city, and Kara would work with her mom all day, until it was time for therapy and dinner. It was a good arrangement at the beginning, and soon enough, Kara found herself catching more flights to Metropolis – even when Lena decided that she didn't need to go to therapy with her mom anymore.

 

            The next came when Alex and Maggie got married. It was a quick affair with both of them deciding that they couldn’t wait any longer, and why did they need a big wedding anyway? With a phone call one afternoon to tell Kara and Lena they were getting married tonight, Lena quickly arranged as much as possible. It was conveniently planned so that Eliza was in town, and the five of them made their way to the registry office, and watched as Alex and Maggie said their vows and slipped rings onto each other’s fingers. Not that she needed it, but it reinforced Lena’s decision to marry Kara even more; she wanted that piece of paper and the ring and the smile full of love and joy as they were pronounced wife and wife.  Then they moved to Metropolis, getting a head start on Lena and Kara’s move, and Lena helped them find a comfortable apartment in the city, and a good buyer for their old apartment – they didn’t need to know that _she_ was the buyer.

 

            As their own wedding neared, boxes started piling up in their apartment too, ready for their own move to Metropolis. Lillian had backed up her personal belongings and moved to one of the family’s city homes, leaving the estate ready for the two of them when they got married, as promised. A few weeks before the set date, the only thing left for Lena and Kara to do was get married.

 

            And the day soon came.

 

            They were having the wedding in France, like Lena had first suggested. In the south, so the weather would be nice and the countryside beautiful as it flowered for the summer. Both of their families came with them, along with their closest friends, making it a small, private affair. It was just perfect though, and they spent the week leading up to the wedding drinking the best wine in the region, and relaxing. Lena and Kara were a little bit stressed about the perfect day, but at the end of the day, it would be perfect either way. They were together, safe and happy, and they would be married by the end of it.

 

            Still, as Lena and Kara sat alone on their balcony the night before, there was a flutter of nerves in both of their stomachs.

 

            Kara quietly laughed, lifting her head up off Lena’s chest as she looked up from the the small twinkling lights in the surrounding village. “Your heart just sped up, what are you thinking about?”

 

            “I was thinking about tomorrow, of course,” Lena laughed, brushing the hair out of Kara’s face and pressing a kiss to her brow.

 

            “I hope you’re not getting cold feet,” Kara joked, and Lena gave her an exasperated look as she took a sip of wine.

 

            “I’m not the ice queen I once was,” Lena reminded her. “That me, for sure. Although, if I think about it, probably not when it comes to you. After all, I let you sit down at my table in that café.”

 

            “Oh god, that seems like forever ago,” Kara softly exclaimed, sounding slightly nostalgic. “Can you believe it’s been two and a half years?”

 

            “It feels like only yesterday,” Lena murmured. “But if feels like a lifetime ago at the same time.”

 

            Kara lifted Lena’s hand on her shoulder and pressed a kiss to the palm. “So much has changed, but I still love you more than ever.”

 

            “I love you too,” Lena murmured, smiling as she closed her eyes for a moment. “ _But_ , it’s time to say goodnight.”

 

            “Always the traditionalist,” Kara sighed, rolling her eyes as she drained her wine and stood up. “Come on then, give me a kiss goodnight, Miss _Luthor._ ”

 

            “Of course, Miss _Danvers_ ,” Lena laughed, hesitating for a moment. “Are you _sure_ you want to hyphenate? I know you convinced me that we should, but you know I’d be more than happy to just have your name.”

 

            “Are we really going to debate this _again_ , the night _before_ our wedding?” Kara asked, raising her eyebrows as she gave Lena an amused look. “Your family and your name doesn’t mean the same thing to you anymore. I, for one, would be proud to have it and to make a new name for ourselves with both of our last names. Plus, you can’t _not_ have a Luthor in the Luthor estate.”

 

            “It’s a house, Kara. Who are we, the bloody Starks? There doesn’t need to be a Luthor in the Luthor estate,” Lena laughed, before giving Kara a loving smile. “But, as long as you’re sure you want my last name too, that’s fine.”

 

            “I want every piece of you,” Kara told her, leaning in for a kiss. “Always.”

 

            “Well, I guess I’d better make sure I’m there tomorrow,” Lena joked, and Kara let out a quick laugh.

 

            “I think Alex and Maggie would hunt you down if you tried to escape now,” Kara smiled.

 

            “Well, it’s a good thing I only run from my problems,” Lena snorted, rolling her eyes, before reaching out to cup Kara’s face in her hands. “I know it’s supposed to be bad luck to see the bride before the wedding … but if you need my tonight, just call, okay? Some silly superstition isn’t going to take all this away from us.”

 

            “Some silly superstition? I know for a fact you’ll be wearing something old, new, borrowed _and_ blue tomorrow,” Kara laughed. “And so will I.”

 

            “Tomorrow then,” Lena promised, leaning up for a kiss. And then another one, before pulling back and walking inside. She walked Kara to the door, and after another kiss goodnight, and another ‘I love you’ she was alone.

 

            Stood in the middle of the room, Lena looked around. She wasn’t tired yet, and although she knew she should go to bed soon, there was one more thing she had to do. Walking over to the desk in the corner, she pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and smoothed out the page as she held the pen over the paper. Hesitating, Lena didn’t know what to write. There were no words to describe how much she loved Kara. There was so much she could say about tomorrow, that she didn’t even know where to begin. After a moment, she smiled to herself, before putting pen to paper.

 

 

_To my beautiful wife, Mrs Kara Danvers-Luthor,_

_By the time you’re reading this, we’ll already be married – or at least I hope we are, because I’m writing this the night before, and it’s going to be really awkward because you just promised you’d be wearing something old, new, borrowed and blue tomorrow. I know you’ll be there though. I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle tomorrow; I know for a fact that it will be the best moment of my life, and I know that all the planning and arguing over the small things will be worth it._

_I hope that I’ll be a good wife – I really do. I would give you the world if you wanted it, and all I can promise is that I’ll love you unconditionally for the rest of our lives. It may not have been an easy road to get to this point, and if that’s anything to go by, our marriage will be a smooth path. All I know is that every day I’ll love you more than yesterday, and that’s enough for me. You are more than enough for me, and your love is more than I can ever be deserving of. You’re all that’s good in this world, and every time I look at you I can’t believe that you’re real - I can’t believe that you’re mine. If there’s one thing I can do for you, it’s make sure that I’m worthy of your love, and to cherish you forever. That’s I promise that I fully intend to keep, because you’re the best thing that’s ever been mine._

_I think tomorrow it’ll be as clear as I can make it, but I love you. I really do. More than anything else in the entire world. I know that we spent so long waiting for you to come to start the rest of our forever, but tomorrow it truly does start as the two of us together as one. It seems surreal somehow, that the day is finally here – a part of me thought it would never come, but we’ve fought so hard for this, and I’m full of relief that it’s actually happening. I never once doubted you, of course, but we’ve never had the best luck. Although, the fact that we met is enough proof for me to believe in luck._

_Out of all the café’s in our city, and all the cities in the country, and all the countries in the world, we ended up in the same one at the same time. I said before that I didn’t believe in fate and soulmates, and I don’t think that I ever will, but you were right when you said I believed in science. There may not be a higher power working hard to throw us together, but the entire order of the universe has aligned itself over and over again to bring us right to this very moment. It wasn’t fate or destiny trying to make it happen – it was just the way things were supposed to be. It was the order of the universe, it was always meant to be, one way or another._

_Tomorrow, the universe will align again, and we’ll be joined together._

_Love always, your devoted wife,_

_Lena Danvers-Luthor x_

 

 

            Sealing the letter, Lena sat back in her seat with a look of amusement on her face – it felt strange to write Kara’s last name before her own. After tomorrow, she would sign that name on everything, and there was a flutter of butterflies in Lena’s stomach at the thought. It was more than she could ever have imagined for herself – better than she could have ever imagined. Three years ago she’d been in a completely different place, and she never would have imagined things being this different, yet, she wouldn’t change anything at all.

 

            There was a knock on the door, drawing Lena out of her thoughts as she stood up to answer it. Lillian was stood on the other side, and she smiled at Lena as she walked in.

 

            “Ah, Kara’s already gone to bed has she?” Lillian asked, realizing that Lena was alone. “I was hoping you’d both be here.”

 

            “I can’t see the bride before the wedding,” Lena reminded her, and Lillian laughed as she sat down on the sofa.

 

            “I know, but I didn’t think she’d leave your side until the last possible minute,” Lillian said. “No matter, I’ll go and see her in a minute. Come and take a seat.”

 

            Lena knit her eyebrows together in confusion, unsure where the conversation was about to go. Sitting down on the edge of the sofa, her eyes fell onto the two velvet jewelry boxes that Lillian held in her hands. One was deposited in Lena’s lap, and she frowned slightly at her mom as she picked it up. “What is it?”

 

            “If you open it you’ll find out,” Lillian said, and Lena rolled her eyes as she smiled at her mom. Opening the box, she looked down at a small silver hair comb encrusted with diamonds, and small sapphires in the shapes of flowers.

 

            “It’s been in my family for generations. I told you I’d sort out your something old and blue, so here it is. It’s part of a pair, so there’s one for Kara too,” Lillian explained, opening the other box to show Lena. “It’ll go nicely with her eyes.”

 

            “Thank you,” Lena whispered, tracing her fingers over the stones as she examined it. “It’s beautiful, mom.”

 

            “I never used to be sure if I’d ever get to give it to you for your wedding. Surprisingly, I love it when you prove me wrong, and you’re _so_ well at doing that,” Lillian laughed. Lena let out a choked up laugh, overcome with emotions.

 

            “Well I never used to be sure if you’d ever be at my wedding,” Lena admitted, giving her mom a wry smile. “I guess we were both wrong.”

 

            “Mm, well I’m glad that we were,” Lillian murmured. “How are you feeling?”

 

            Lena laughed, snapping the jewelry box shut. “Surprisingly calm. I feel like I’ve waited forever for this. Does that sound stupid? I’m not scared because I know this is the right decision.”

 

            “It’s not stupid it all,” Lillian assured her. “Coming from the woman who had her reservations at first. You both deserve your happy endings – and a happy beginning to the rest of your life. I didn’t think you would be scared though. I know you, and you would never go through with something this big if you weren’t completely sure. That’s how I know you’re making the right choice – and because I don’t think you could love each other more.”

 

            “I didn’t think I’d ever hear you say something like that,” Lena snorted, and Lillian gave her an unimpressed look, making Lena smile.

 

            “I better go and see my future daughter-in-law before she goes to sleep,” Lillian said, standing up. Lena stood up and walked her over to the door, and they stood face to face for a moment.

 

            “Thank you, mom,” Lena told her, and Lillian wrapped her in a hug, holding her close as she pressed a kiss to Lena’s forehead.

 

            “I love you. Get some rest,” Lillian told her, brushing her hair back before she disappeared down the hallway in search of Kara’s room. Kara was spending the night in a room at the other end of the chateau, making sure that there was no way Lena would cross paths with her tomorrow. Shutting the door, Lena walked back inside and picked up the jewelry box again. She was touched by her mom’s thoughtfulness, but not surprised, because Lillian had spent the past couple of years doing everything within her power to make Lena happy. It almost seemed too good to be true, that Lena could have everything she’d ever dreamed of, yet here she was. She was grateful for every moment.

 

            Slipping under the covers, Lena slept alone for the first night in months, missing the warmth the radiated off Kara’s body like she was the sun. The bed was big, and it felt too empty without her, but one night apart was a good trade for a ring and a vow of forever. Lena smiled to herself as she buried her face in the pillow Kara had been sleeping on for the past week, comforted by the faint smell of Kara’s shampoo and perfume. As she drifted off to sleep, her mind ran away to thoughts of Kara.

 

\---

 

            The click of a camera caught Lena’s attention, and she turned to raise an eyebrow at Maggie, who shrugged as she walked in. “I promised Kara I’d take as many photos as I could. I’m not sure why, seeing as you’ve got the photographer for the pre-wedding photos, but I guess she just wants the polaroids.”

 

            “Of course,” Lena smiled, looking back up at the woman who was doing her make up. It was nearly midday, and Lena could feel her excitement rising. “How is she?”

 

            “Excited,” Maggie said, giving Lena a wide smile. “I think she’s ready to walk down the aisle in her pyjamas if it means she can marry you sooner.”

 

            Lena laughed, closing her eyes as the woman applied eyeshadow to her lids. “Well my dress is Valentino, so she’d better wait because it’s going to be worth it.”

 

            “I’m sure she’ll think it’s worth it no matter what you’re wearing,” Lillian said, sounding amused. “Although, I _do_ love the dress.”

 

            “Mm, it was definitely my favourite,” Maggie agreed.

 

            “Is Alex almost ready?” Lena asked.

 

            She heard Maggie sigh heavily. “Never mind what everyone else is doing. You need to get yourself ready, and we’ll all make sure we’re picture perfect when you and your bride to be are ready to walk down the aisle.”

 

            If her eyes were open Lena would’ve rolled them, but she just sighed. “Fine. You better be ready on time for once in your life, or this wedding is going to turn into the red wedding.”

 

            “Relax, Luthor, I just need to put my dress on,” Maggie said. “I’ve already been beautified. I think it’s actually time for a pre-wedding glass of champagne. What do you think, Lillian?”

 

            “Of course. I’ve already got the bottle chilling for a celebratory toast,” Lillian said, standing up and fetching the bottle. Maggie popped the cork as Lillian fetched three champagne flutes, which were soon filled and clinked together in a toast to Lena and Kara.

 

\---

 

            Lena was stood at the altar, heart beating fast, as she waited for Kara.

 

            The church was small and picturesque, in the middle of the tiny town in the French countryside. It couldn’t have been a more perfect place for them to say ‘I do’, and as Lena patiently waited for Kara to make it to her, she felt her excitement rise. Most people were nervous on their wedding day, but not Lena. It felt like everything was falling into place, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling.

 

            It wasn’t long before the music started, and Alex made her way down the aisle, holding a bouquet as she smiled brightly. She gave Lena a knowing smile, and Lena smiled back as Alex took her place off to the side where Kara would be stood a moment later.

 

            And then the doors opened again, and the was Kara, on Eliza’s arm as she made her way towards Lena. She wore a white dress, and her hair was pinned back up an elaborate braided style. She looked more beautiful than ever, and Lena didn’t think she’d ever seen anything so radiant in all her life. The tears started instantly, and Lena couldn’t help herself. Even with the distance between them, Lena could see tears in Kara’s eyes too, and her face split into a wide smile. It took almost all of Lena’s self-control not to run back up the aisle and just say ‘I do’ on the spot.

 

            It felt like an eternity before Eliza was placing Kara’s hand in Lena’s and taking a seat next to Lillian. Lena’s eyes hadn’t moved off Kara’s face since she’d walked into the tiny church, and as they stood face to face, hand in hand, Lena couldn’t help but let out a quiet sob of laughter.

 

            “You look beautiful,” Lena murmured, aching to reach up and cradle Kara’s face and place a soft kiss against those perfect lips. That would have to wait a few moments though.

 

            “So do you,” Kara told her, blinking back her tears as she smiled widely at Lena.

 

            The church minister started her speech, and every word seemed to find their way into Lena’s mind, even though she couldn’t stop looked at Kara. An overwhelming sense of joy, happiness and ease washed over Lena, as if everything they’d been through was completely worth it just for this one moment. All the pain, the heartache, the crying and fighting; it all brought them to this exact moment, stood in front of each other, hand in hand on the other side of the world. It was all worth it.

 

            The ceremony wasn’t long, and soon enough Kara was slipping a silver band onto Lena’s ring finger, sliding it down to rest just above her engagement ring, as she spoke the words they’d all been waiting for.

            "I, Kara, take you, Lena, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."

 

            And then it was Lena’s turn, and her voice trembled as she recited the words, slipping a matching silver band onto Kara’s finger.

 

            "I, Lena, take you, Kara, for my lawful wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."

 

            As soon as they were pronounced married, their lips met in a tearful, perfect kiss, and it said everything that they needed to. All their love and devotion was poured into that kiss, and Lena never wanted it to end. Slightly flushed, and laughing, they both pulled back, staring into each other’s eyes for a moment. There was a few minutes where they disappeared into a small back room, along with Alex and Maggie, to sign their marriage certificate with their chosen witnesses.

 

            Pressing a kiss to the back of her hand, Lena led Kara back up the aisle, seeing the faces of her family and friends, all teary eyed and smiling widely as they came outside. There were some of the town’s residents nearby too, and they shouted their congratulations and clapped as Kara cupped Lena’s face and kissed her as dozens of butterflies were released, fluttering upwards as everyone applauded.

 

            Pulling back, Kara gazed down at Lena, still smiling brightly, her eyes crinkling at the corners, and Lena reached up to trace her fingertips along the side of Kara’s face.

 

            “I love you,” Kara told her, and Lena laughed incredulously. They were _married_. After everything, it _had_ happened. She felt like she was about to burst with happiness.

 

            Lena stared at Kara with wonder and amazement. “I love you too.”


	76. Chapter 76

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're here! Thank you so much for reading this, it means so much to me. I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. It's definitely been a wild ride, and I'm a little bit sad that we're at the end now, but thank you!

            Lena walked towards the living room to the disjointed sounds of the piano keys being clumsily pushed. Smiling, she looked over at the piano as she carried the tray into the room. “Already trying to turn her into a child prodigy?” Lena asked Lillian.

 

            “Oh hush, she’s enjoying it, aren’t you sweetheart?” Lillian asked the little girl sat in her lap, running her fingers through the dark curls.

 

            “Yes, grandma,” the little girl said, smiling up at her, as she pushed down on some more keys. “Look mommy, I’m doing it.”

 

            Lena laughed as she set the tray down on the coffee table. “Well done, that’s very good, darling. Come on, Daisy-doo, it’s time for some lunch. You can play again afterwards.”

 

            Lifting the girl down off her lap, Lillian smiled as she watched her run over to Lena, who sat her down on the floor and put a plate down in front of her. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, Lena sat down on the sofa and picked up her own food as Lillian came and sat down next to her. Lena and Lillian talked about the business for a few minutes as they ate their own lunch, while keeping an eye on the little girl as she watched TV.

 

            “Planet Earth Two? Really, Lena?” Lillian snorted, looking at the TV. “Put something for kids on for her.”

 

            “She _likes_ it, mom,” Lena rolled her eyes. “Besides, I checked and the only kids film on at the moment is Stuart Little, and it’s ridiculous. What kind of person adopts a _mouse_ over a _child_? Can you imagine having to explain that to her? Besides, Kara makes us watch Disney films every night so she's hardly missing out on anything.”

 

            “Mommy?” Daisy asked, looking up at Lena with wide, blue eyes.

 

            Lena smiled at her. “Yes, honey?”

 

            “Where’s mommy gone?” the little girl asked.

 

            “Mommy’s gone to go and talk to her special friend about her week,” Lena explained. “And then she’s going to see Auntie Alex. She won’t be long.”

 

            “I want to see Auntie Alex,” Daisy pouted. “ _And_ Auntie Maggie.”

 

            “We can go and see them after we go to the park tomorrow,” Lena promised, and seeming content with the answer, went back to eating her celery stick and watching the penguins on the TV screen.

 

            “I’m surprised you let Kara out of your sight, to be honest,” Lillian laughed.

 

            “It’s therapy, mom, it’s not exactly strenuous work,” Lena snorted.

 

            “I know, but still. I’m surprised she agreed to finish work so early,” Lillian said. "I mean, I told her to, but I didn't think she'd listen. She's almost as stubborn as you."

 

            Lena smiled, shrugging slightly. “I didn’t want her on her feet all day. Besides, it’s given her more time with Daisy, so she’s happy about that.”

 

            “Can the three of you stop by on Friday?” Lillian asked. “Eliza and I aren’t flying to the vineyard until that night, and I’d like to see her before we go. I think Eliza said Alex will be picking her up on Thursday, but I’m sure Eliza would want to see more of her granddaughter.”

 

            “Yeah, that’d be great. Maybe we can all get lunch together,” Lena agreed. “There’s that new Thai restaurant that Kara wants to go to.”

 

            “Perfect,” Lillian smiled. “I’ve got some new research for Kara to see too.”

 

            Lena rolled her eyes at that. “Don’t encourage her, mom. She’ll be wanting to go back to work as soon as possible.”

 

            “Don’t worry, I’ve already told her she’s not allowed back for at least six months,” Lillian assured her daughter, brushing the hair out of her face as she cupped her cheek. “How are you feeling? Nervous?”

 

            “Yes, but excited, more than anything,” Lena admitted, giving her mom a bright smile. “I can’t wait.”

 

            “I’ll bet,” Lillian smiled, a distant look in her eyes.

 

            “Mommy, I’m done,” Daisy said, smiling up at Lena as she held up her empty plate.

 

            “Good girl,” Lena said, taking the plate and setting it down on the coffee table. Standing up, the little girl went over to Lena and opened her arms. Smiling, Lena lifted her up onto the sofa, settling her down in between her and Lillian.

 

            “Come and give grandma a cuddle before I go,” Lillian said, and Daisy smiled widely as she crawled into her arms, letting Lillian hold her as she stroked her hair. Soon enough, the little girl started drifting off to sleep, and Lena smiled slightly.

 

            She’d never thought she’d love anyone as much as she loved Kara - if not more – but then they’d decided to have a baby. They’d found a match before the baby had even been born, deciding on having a newborn because they hadn’t wanted to miss anything on their first one. They’d loved her instantly, from the moment the nurse had come out and congratulated them on being parents.

 

            “She reminds me of you,” Lillian murmured, and Lena raised her eyebrows slightly. “She’s almost as old as you were when we brought you home. You had the same sort of mannerisms.”

 

            “Mm, it’s strange. When she smiles, all I can see is Kara. I always said I wanted a child with her smile, and Kara said she wanted one with my hair and her eyes. She’s perfect,” Lena said, reaching out to gently brush a curl out of her sleeping daughter’s face.

 

            “I felt the same about you,” Lillian smiled. “God, I can’t believe how long it’s been.”

 

            “I know,” Lena agreed. “Sometimes I forget everything that we went through. Me and Kara too. It’s strange how so much happiness can make you forget those things.”

 

            “Mm. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you,” Lillian told her, and Lena smiled.

 

            “I know, mom. I have it now,” Lena said, looking down at the sleeping girl. “It almost feels like it should be impossible to be this happy.”

 

\---

 

            Lillian didn’t stay that much longer, and she gently laid her granddaughter on the sofa and pressed a kiss to her forehead, careful not to wake her. Lena’s gaze lingered on her for a moment, before she followed Lillian out of the living room and walked her to the front door.

 

            “Are you still okay to have her tomorrow while I go to the board meeting?” Lena asked as she opened the door, watching Lillian put her coat on.

 

            “Of course,” Lillian said, picking up her bag.

 

            Lena let her mom kiss her cheek in goodbye. “Thank you. Kara will drop her to you at around ten then, and I’ll pick her up afterwards.”

 

            “Alright. We’re going to go to the zoo. She wants to see the otters. I guess she gets that from her mom, huh? I just hope she doesn’t try and steal one like a certain _someone_ did,” Lillian said, looking slightly amused.

 

            Laughing, Lena blushed slightly at the memory. “God, I _really_ hope she doesn’t take after me. I think it’d be the worst kind of karma for the way I behaved for you. I never understood what people meant when they talked about worrying about kids, but when you have your own …”

 

            “Tell me about it. Okay. I’ll see you Friday then,” Lillian said, giving Lena’s hand a quick squeeze. “Call me if you need anything before then.”

 

            “Will do. Thanks, mom,” Lena smiled at her.

 

            Shutting the door, Lena walked back into the living room and picked up their plates. Quietly, she tidied up the kids toys and the kitchen, before going to sit back down in the living room to do some paperwork while Daisy slept. She was staring intently at her screen when the little girl started to stir. Stifling a wide yawn, she rubbed at her eyes, and Lena shut her laptop screen down as she opened her arms. “Come here, baby,” Lena murmured as Daisy threw herself into her mom’s arms.

 

            “Mommy, can you tell me a story?” Daisy said, looking up at Lena with wide, hopeful eyes.

 

            “A story? Okay, um, give me a second,” Lena said, trying to think of something. She smiled as she thought of something to tell the little girl. “Hm, how about a fairy tale?”

 

            “You hate fairy tales,” Daisy laughed, and Lena gave her a quick squeeze.

 

            “I like this one,” she promised. “Okay, so, there was this girl-“

 

            “Mommy, you have to start with once upon a time,” Daisy interrupted, and Lena tickled her ribs, laughing as the little girl squealed and kicked as she tried to pull away.

 

            Pulling her back into her lap and holding her close, Lena gave her a stern look. “Is this my story or yours, Daisy-doo?”

 

            “Yours,” the little girl laugh laughed, her eyes crinkling just like her mother’s.

 

            “Exactly,” Lena said, kissing her on the top of her head. “Anyway, once upon a time there was this girl. Let’s say she was the princess, because it _is_ a fairy tale. See, this princess was a genius, and she was rich and she was from the royal family of a massive kingdom – but that didn’t mean they were good rulers. She ran away from home, and she wandered around a lot, trying to find something to do to help. She found it by coming home to her family and working to help people, and she was determined to use her work for good, unlike her family. Over time, she made a good name for herself, and she got more powerful, but she had a brother – the prince - who wasn’t good. He was the rightful heir to the kingdom, and he was bad, and he did lots of bad things. He ended up hurting a lot of people, and he died, so the princess was next in line. She worked hard, and she was good at helping people, but she was lonely. Until one day, when she met a knight. This knight was beautiful, and smart, and funny, and she made the princess feel less alone. They fell in love, and they loved each other _so_ much.”

 

            “Like you and mommy?” Daisy asked, giving Lena a bright smile.

 

            Lena kissed the tip of her nose. “Yes, like me and mommy. But there was a war, and this knight was brave, so she went to the war to fight for the people she loved. The princess missed her _so_ much, and she spent every day at the top of her tower in the castle, waiting for her to come home. Until one day the princess found out that the knight had died in a fight. She cried all day every day because she loved her so much that she couldn’t imagine living without her, but then, her knight came home to her. The princess cried when she saw her, shocked that her knight was alive, and she promised to love her forever and ever.”

 

            “Did she?” Daisy asked, looking up at Lena with a hopeful look in her innocent eyes.

 

            Laughing, Lena gave her a quick squeeze. “They did. They got married, and the princess had a little baby girl, just as beautiful as her knight, and just as smart and kind. And _then_ they found out they were having another baby, and it made the princess so happy, and she loved her family very much.”

 

            Daisy looked at her expectantly. “Then what, mommy?”

 

            Lena hesitated for a moment. “And _then_ , they lived happily ever after.”

 

            “Mommy?” the little girl asked, looking up at Lena.

 

            “Yes, darling?” Lena murmured, fixing the collar of her daughter’s dress and brushing back a stray curl.

 

            “Are you like the princess?” she asked.

 

            “I think I might be - just a little bit,” Lena said, “mommy is my knight, and I got my happily ever after.”

 

            “How did you meet mommy?” she asked, giving Lena another expectant look. Lena let out a quiet laugh, gathering the little girl up in her arms and standing up.

 

            “How about we have a look at some photos and I’ll tell you, huh?” Lena suggested, carrying Daisy towards Kara’s photography room, where there were dozens of photo albums full of polaroid’s. Sitting down on the floor, Lena pulled the first one that Kara had ever made for her off the shelf, and opening it to the first page, she started to explain to Daisy how they’d met, and the stories behind the other photos. Then they moved onto the next photo album, flipping through more and more pages of neatly arranged photos. Lena smiled as she looked at each one. The photo album had quickly changed from being about Lena’s firsts to _their_ firsts, and Lena smiled at the memory behind each one.

 

            There was the first ever photo they’d had of Daisy, cradled in Kara’s arms as they both smiled at the nurse, who had volunteered to take the photo.

 

 

_They’d been given a call that the woman they were adopting off had gone into labor, and the two of them had rushed to the hospital straight away, the car loaded up with a bag of clothes and blankets, and a little car seat for when it was time to bring their baby home._

_They were both more nervous than they wanted to admit; they’d spent the past year preparing themselves for adoption, spending night after night reading parenting books and going to classes, but now Lena couldn’t help but feel like she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t prepared enough for this and she was scared that she didn’t know how to look after a baby; their baby. She didn’t say it aloud, but a part of Lena was terrified that the woman would back out of the adoption as soon as the baby came out. It happened sometimes, they’d been told that, but they were so close to having their family, and Lena could see the nervous excitement on Kara’s face as she concentrated on the road. Reaching out, Lena grabbed one of her hands in her own, squeezing it tightly._

_They were about to become parents._

_Eliza had come to town two weeks before, so that she’d be here when the baby was born, and Kara called everyone to let them know the baby was on the way. Nervous, Lena and Kara talked to the representative from the adoption agency, going over everything while they waited. It was to be a closed adoption; an agreement made on both sides, and the birth mother hadn’t even wanted to meet Lena and Kara. It felt strange to Lena, to feel all this gratitude for a woman she’d never even met, who was giving her and Kara everything they’d ever wanted._

_They had waited hours, but eventually the baby had come, and everything had gone to plan. A healthy baby girl. Kara had already been in tears just from the announcement that it was a girl, but Lena felt terrified, and she was sure she looked ghostly under the fluorescent lights. They’d been taken to see the baby and as soon as Lena laid eyes on her, she’d started crying. She was theirs. Kara had held her first, and the nurse had snapped a photo, and then Kara had placed the baby in a frightened Lena’s arms. She’d never felt anything like it in her life – this tiny bundle was hers. Hers and Kara’s. She loved her instantly, and Lena silently promised that she would never let anything happen to her – she would have everything she could ever want or need. There was a part of Lena that couldn’t help think about if Lillian had felt this way when she’d adopted Lena._

_“Daisy,” Kara whispered, stroking the little girl’s cheek. Eyelids fluttered open, and blue eyes stared up at them, and Lena let out a choked up laugh, because they were as blue as Kara’s – they were beautiful._

_“Daisy,” Lena agreed, looking up at Kara, who was smiling widely, with tear-filled eyes. Leaning in, Kara kissed her, before bending down and pressing a kiss on the baby’s forehead._

 

 

            There was a whole album dedicated to Daisy’s first year of life. Dozens of photos of her as a newborn, sleeping on Lena’s chest, staring up at the camera with curious blue eyes, smiling as Kara waved a teddy bear above her. More of her sitting upright by herself, or crawling, or holding a doll. Then there were ones of her standing up, with dark curls and dimples as Lena’s hands hovered around her, just in case she fell.

 

 

_“Quick! Get the camera!” Lena told Kara, who was scrambling up off the floor._

_“Don’t let her walk until I get it!” Kara yelled behind her as she ran out of the room._

_Lena laughed. “What am I supposed to do? Push her over if she starts to do it?”_

_“Yes!” Kara laughed, her voice sounding further away._

_She was back a moment later, two cameras and a video recorder in hand. Turning the video camera on, Kara arranged it so that they could capture Daisy’s first steps on film. Next she took a photo on her polaroid camera as Lena let go of the little girl, who teetered slightly as she smiled at Kara._

_“Come on baby girl, come to mommy!” Kara said encouragingly, opening her arms wide as she laughed. Lena laughed with delight as she watched Daisy take a step forward, and then another. She crossed the small gap between Lena and Kara without falling over, and as she made it into Kara’s arms, they clapped and cheered, and Lena was filled with pride._

_Soon enough the house had been full of the sounds of little feet running around the place, followed by the sounds of heavier footfalls chasing after them._

 

 

            Flipping through more pages, they came to Daisy’s first birthday party. A photo of Maggie wearing a party hat as she held Daisy in her lap made Lena smile. She’d actually been surprised by how good Maggie was with kids, and she doted on her niece, even after her and Alex had welcomed their own little one.

 

 

_“Mag,” Daisy said, pointing at Maggie._

_“Yes! Good girl!” Lillian said, cradling the little girl in her lap. “That’s your Auntie Maggie.”_

_“Mag, Mag, Mag,” the little girl chirped, and Maggie groaned._

_“Oh god. Is this what we have to look forward to?” Maggie asked Alex, whose growing belly was only just starting to show._

_Everyone laughed and Lena snorted as she rolled her eyes. “I think yours will be saying mag as in a gun, and they'll probably be able to shoot one straight by their first birthday.”_

_“Mag!” Daisy said again, and Lillian laughed as she set her down on the floor and watched the little girl run over to Maggie, who obliging lifted her up into her lap._

_“She’s quite clever for her age,” Lillian said, looking proud at the fact._

_Kara smiled brightly. “Yes, she seems to be developing quite fast. She’s going to be a genius like her mom.”_

 

 There one of Daisy sat on Athena's back, her arms thrown around the dog's neck as she wandered around the house with the child on her back. They'd been a bit hesitant at having a baby around such a big dog, but they knew that Athena had a mild temperament and was very protective, so they weren't at all surprised when she took up a guard position outside the baby's nursery all night. When Daisy had started walking she'd had a permanent railing next to her to catch herself on if she started to fall, and soon enough she had figured out that if she climbed on Athena's back she could get free rides around the house.

 

 A photo of Kara in the sea outside Eliza's back garden, throwing Daisy up in the air, made Lena smile. It was the first time she'd been in the ocean, and she'd loved it. Since then, they'd taken her to Eliza's almost every weekend during the summertime so she could splash around in the water and see her grandma.

 

 

             _"Higher mommy!" the little girl squealed_   _with laughter as Kara threw her up again, catching her as gravity brought her back down._

 

_"Not too high," Lena called from her seat on the back porch._

 

_Eliza laughed, stroking Lena's hair as she sat down next to her, handing Lena a glass of lemonade. "Look at you being all sensible. I would've thought you'd be the one daring to throw her as high as you could."_

 

_"I guess marriage and motherhood has tamed me," Lena joked, giving Eliza a look of amusement. "I don't have time for arrests and nights in jail anymore."_

 

_"I, for one, am relieved to hear it," Eliza laughed._

 

_"Daisy Danvers-Luthor! Did you just splash me?" Kara gasped, and there was a peal of laughter as the little girl splashed around in the water, trying to swim away with the aid of her armbands._

 

_"No!" she laughed, kicking up a frenzy as Kara inched closer to her._

 

_"I'm going to get you!" Kara teased her, and Lena and Eliza laughed as they watched._

 

_"Mommy! Help!" Daisy called to Lena, laughing as she tried to get away from Kara, who was laughing._

 

_Lena set her glass down and took off her sunglasses. "Looks like it's mom to the rescue," Lena said to Eliza, before standing up and running down the steps and onto the beach to splash into the cold water, scooping up her daughter as she gasped at the shock of the cold water._

 

 

            There was a photo of the night they’d decided to have another baby, Kara smiling widely out of the picture that Lena had taken as they'd toasted with a glass of water. She had asked Kara to carry the baby, because she didn’t think she’d want to. She’d never imagined that she would ever have kids, until she met Kara, but even now, Lena was hesitant to be the one to carry their baby. Of course Kara would want to anyway, because she was so maternal and Lena knew that she would love it – even the bad parts like morning sickness and an aching back.

 

 

_“Why can’t we just use a sperm donor though?” Lena argued, and Kara let out a heavy sigh as she gave Lena an exasperated look._

_“It’s fine, Lena, it’ll work! Men are basically useless now. Just picture it, a baby that’s half me and half you. Science has come so far, we don’t need a donor, we just need my egg and your DNA,” Kara explained._

_Lena’s eyebrows were knit together as she stood with her arms crossed over her chest. “But how safe is it, Kara? This is our baby we’re talking about. It’s still a pretty new procedure, I don’t want to risk anything going wrong.”_

_Kara let out a quick laugh, her eyes briefly crinkling at the corners as she walked over to Lena and cupped her face in her hands. “And you think I would? If I wasn’t convinced it was safe, I would never go through with it.”_

_“Fine, we’ll make an appointment with the doctor,” Lena sighed. “But we’re making sure it's all completely safe before we agree on anything.”_

_“Deal,” Kara smiled, leaning down to press a kiss on her lips._

 

 

            Then there was a photo of Kara and Lena, holding up an ultrasound scan, which was little more than a swirl, as they smiled widely, and Lena thought back to the day they’d found out that Kara’s idea had paid off, and they were having _another_ baby.

 

 

_“Hi honey, um, I don’t want to alarm you, because I’m sure everything’s fine, but Kara fainted at work,” Lillian’s voice came through the phone._

_Lena dropped her fork, pushing her chair back from her desk as she stood up. “What do you mean she fainted? Is she okay? How long for?” Lena asked, panicking as she quickly strode towards the door._

_“It was just for a few seconds, she just had a funny turn. I caught her, so she didn’t hurt herself, and I talked her into letting me take her to the doctor’s office,” Lillian explained._

_“I’ll meet you there,” Lena said, before hanging up and quickly telling Jess to cancel the rest of her appointments as she breezed past, on her way to the elevators. Her car was waiting for her by the time she made it downstairs, and soon enough she was on her way to the doctor’s._

_Lillian was sat in the waiting room when Lena walked in, making a bee-line straight for her mom. “Is she okay? Where is she?”_

_“She’s just having her blood taken,” Lillian said, pulling Lena down onto the seat next to her. “It might just be low blood sugar, but, well, you don’t faint for no reason, so I thought it was better to be safe than sorry. I stopped off for some juice and cookies for her though, just in case it is low blood sugar.”_

_“Thanks,” Lena said gratefully._

_It was a few moments later when the doctor came out, and upon seeing Lena, called her into the room. Rushing to Kara’s side, Lena brushed her hair out of her face and picked up one of her hands. “Hey, how are you feeling?” Lena quietly asked her, her eyes roaming over Kara’s face, looking for a sign that there was something wrong._

_“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I only came to please your mom,” Kara laughed. “Good news; I’m not dying.”_

_Lena rolled her eyes, feeling her panic settle down now that she was here with Kara. “But you’re okay, right?”_

_Kara let out a quick laugh, her eyes filling with tears as she pulled Lena closer. “We’re having a baby.”_

_“We’re having a- wha- it worked?!” Lena stammered, her eyes widening with shock. Kara laughed again, nodding as she wiped away a stray tear. Lena let out a sob of laughter, leaning down to kiss Kara, before reaching out with a shaking hand to lay it against Kara’s flat stomach._

_They were having another baby._

            The photos following Kara’s pregnancy slowly showed her stomach progressively growing bigger and bigger with each photo, and Lena smiled as she thought about how big it was now. It wouldn’t be long now – a few more weeks at the most. She smiled at the one with the three of them in bed, with Daisy cuddled up next to Kara, a tiny hand pressed to the baby bump as she felt the baby kick for the first time.

 

 

_“It’s moving mommy!” the little girl squealed with delight, laughing as she looked at Kara and then Lena. “Mommy, feel!”_

_Lena laughed, reaching out to cover Daisy’s hand with her own, giving it a quick squeeze, before she pressed her own hand against Kara’s stomach. There was pressure against Lena’s hand as she felt the baby move, and she smiled up at Kara, leaning in to kiss her._

_“I love you,” Lena murmured._

_“I love you too,” Kara said, tucking Lena’s hair behind her ear._

_“And me!” the little girl protested, and Lena pulled back laughing._

_“I love you especially, Daisy May,” Lena told her, tickling her as the little girl laughed hysterically. “How much do you love mommy?”_

_“This much!” she said, throwing her little arms open as wide as she could._

_“That much?” Lena gasped, picking her up and depositing her in between her and Kara, who reached over to pull the covers up and kiss the top of her head. “How much are you going to love your new baby brother or sister?”_

_“Soooo much!” the little girl exclaimed with excitement._

_“So much?” Kara laughed, “that’s a lot.”_

            It made Lena nostalgic, going through all the photos, because so much had changed over such a short period of time. It felt like it had been forever, but their photo albums together spanned less than ten years. Each moment was full of happiness though, and Lena’s eyes prickled with tears as she thought about how much Kara had changed her life. There wasn’t a day that went by that Lena didn’t think about how grateful she was for that blessed day in that café. She would’ve missed so much if she’d stayed in her office that day, but instead, she had more than she’d ever imagined she’d have. Lena had truly learned the definition of what it meant to truly live and be happy, and she wouldn’t trade a single moment of their time together for anything in the world.

 

            They were flipping through the last photo album when Kara appeared in the doorway, taking in the mess on the floor surrounding her wife and daughter. She had one hand pressed against her back and the other resting on top of her bump as she smiled, shaking her head at the sight. At the flicker of movement, Lena and Daisy looked up, and the little girl jumped up off the floor and ran over to her.

 

            “Mommy! You’re home!”

 

            Lena climbed to her feet, walking over to Kara with a smile. She leant down to pick Daisy up, bringing her close to Kara so that she could kiss her, and then leant in to kiss Kara herself. Pulling back, Kara ran her hair through the little girl’s curls, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she stared at Lena.

 

            “I’m home.”


End file.
